biography for my mother

7 Heartfelt Obituary Examples for Mothers

Honor who your mom was to you by writing an obituary that tells the world the kind of person she was.

Michele is a writer who has been published both locally and internationally.

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It's difficult and painful when your mother dies, and it can be so hard to write an obituary for your mom. You want the world to know what she meant to you, but you don't have a lot of space to do it, so it's hard to know what to include to honor your mom. Our obituary examples for a mother are a good place to start to help you write a touching tribute to the life of the woman who gave you life. 

Sample Obituaries for Mothers

Most sample obituary formats follow a standard chronological sequence. An obituary for your mom can deviate from this format and focus on her role as a mom rather than a timeline of her life.

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Sample Obituary Tribute to a Mom and Grandmother

An obituary for your mom doesn't have to be super formal. This example gives a good sense of her while showing what was important in her life. 

Our beloved mother and grandmother, Alice Smith, died on April 2, 2024, after a short illness. She was 73. 

Alice was the heart of our home and family. She raised three children, Ben (35), Kristen (41), and Kelly (44), in a happy and loving home to be independent and thoughtful adults. Alice was married for 48 years to her soulmate, John, who preceded her in death. As a grandmother to Briley (6) and Austin (9), she was the "fun granny," taking the kids on exciting outings, hosting "grandma camp" every summer, and generally spoiling them rotten. 

Alice was known for her hearty laugh and kind heart. She was the heart and soul of our family, and she will be dearly missed. At Alice's request, there will be no services, but before she passed she made it known she wanted us all to share a laugh and raise a glass in celebration of her journey home. 

Sample Obituary for a Single Mom

Here's an example of an obituary for a single mom that takes a more formal approach. 

Elsa Ann Wattsburg, age 45, died in an accident on April 3, 2024. She is survived by her three children, who made up the entirety of her world, Gregory (age 22), Matilda (age 17), and Max (age 13). Elsa was a 1993 graduate of Correl Central School. She went on to earn a Bachelor of Psychology. She was an avid bike rider who enjoyed doing anything outdoors, especially if it was with her kids.

Besides her children, Elsa is survived by her parents, Rob and Cindy Wattsburg, her sister Anna, and several nieces, nephews, cousins, and many friends. Viewings will be held at Trinity Church in Houston on Friday, April 7th from 3 to 4 p.m. and 6 to 7 p.m. The funeral will be held the following day at 11 a.m. Burial services will be private for immediate family, but a potluck lunch will be served for all in the church basement at 1 p.m. In lieu of flowers, the family is asking for donations toward Elsa's children's future.

Sample Obituary for a Stay-at-Home Mom

A stay-at-home mom might not have an extensive professional background to list and might prefer a shorter obituary if she didn't like a lot of attention.

Our precious mother, Mary Sue Britten, passed away on Saturday, November 3rd, 2023. She devoted her life to her children, leaving her position as secretary at the village office when her first child was born. Mary Sue never wanted to be the center of attention, so her services will be private for immediate family members only. Friends wishing to honor Mary Sue are invited to make a donation in her name to their local children's hospitals, childcare centers, and motherhood organizations.

Sample Mother Obituary With Poem

Choose a funeral poem for a mom to use as the obituary introduction or obituary poem , then add the standard information.

Your Hug Meant the World Nobody else held me so tight Or made me feel so right No one's eyes shined so bright with love As my mom, who is now high above. - Tamsen Butler

The world lost a beloved mother, Jan Kim, on July 25, 2022. Jan battled breast cancer, but it never stopped her from giving out the best hugs. Jan died in her home surrounded by her children, Jeff, Jessie, and Jean. Jan was born in Maytown, MO on December 2, 1968. She claims to have learned everything she knew from her own loving parents, Jack and Jennifer Kim.

Jan worked as a kindergarten teacher so she could be around kids forever. Her colleagues knew her as a kind soul, always willing to cheer kids up with hugs. Jan is survived by her brother Jet and her sister Jessa. She was preceded in death by her husband, Bill, and both her parents.

Friends are invited to say a final goodbye to Jan at Hope Funeral Home in Mayfield, NY on July 29th from 6 to 8 p.m. The family will have a private funeral per Jan's wishes.

Related: Memorial Tributes to Mothers: A Guide to Cherishing Her Memory

Obituary Template for a Mom

Honor your mom with an obituary that focuses on her love for her children and her role as a mother before all the other necessary information is included. You can personalize this free obituary template by filling in the blanks with information specific to your mother. Click on the obituary template PDF image to download, edit, and print your obituary. Use the troubleshooting guide if you need help.

What to Include in an Obituary for Your Mom

These are the elements you might wish to include in an obituary for your mom.

• Name (including maiden name and married name(s) if she used them)
• Spouse (if any) and children's names
• Names of grandchildren and great-grandchildren
• Names of other surviving relatives of note
• Biographical information – DOB, DOD, where she was born and died, interests or hobbies, professional info, organizations she supported, or just a snapshot of who she was
• Funeral or memorial service info
• Where to send flowers/donations

Obituary Examples for Famous Moms

If you'd like even more inspiration, these famous obituaries offer examples of different types. 

Obituary Example for a Mom Who Died of Cancer

Author Amy Krouse Rosenthal's obituary weaves together her love of writing and her love for her children. It gives examples of how it was with her children that she discovered her desire to write for a living and even authored books with her kids. These examples are seamlessly mixed in with professional accomplishments so the entire piece reads like a great story.

Funny Mom Obituary That Is Still Heartfelt

Mary Stocks' kids wrote her a hilarious obituary in 2015 that went viral for its funny honesty. Her kids thought of their mom's personality and used that as the basis for an obituary that they believed she would have loved. They shared fun memories like the fact that she bequeathed back to each of her kids all the things they had ever given her.

Say Goodbye to Mom Your Way

It's never easy to say goodbye, but writing an obituary can help. And while we've offered guidelines, remember that there are no rules. Honor your mom in a way that's meaningful to you by writing an obituary that speaks to the kind of mom she was. 

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“My mother is my role model, she inspires and motivates me to grow without any barriers”

Children with disabilities, global youth ambassadors, diksha dinde, diksha dinde, a 23-year-old student and activist from india, tells how her mother is her role model and the reason she was able to get an education and fulfil her potential..

Super humans. We read about them, watch them and admire them in the virtual world – but I live with a superhuman. She is my mother.

I am Diksha Dinde, a 23-year-old student and activist from India. I am 84% differently abled, trying to break the stereotypes related to disabled people. 

Be it teaching underprivileged children from the slums near where I live or raising awareness to break taboos around menstruation, I have been doing my part to make this world a better place to live.

My mother, Mrs Chitrarekha Dinde, is my role model. She inspires and motivates me to grow without any barriers. It seems to me that this woman looks at life as a challenge and wholeheartedly intends to seize the day every day.     My mother looked after me and supported me in every part of my life. Right from childhood she has been with me like my shadow. It had been riddled with hurdles and difficulties, but she has managed to cross them all to because of the amazing and independent person she is.

Being physically challenged I am not able to move by myself and because of this I have not been able to do daily routine activities since childhood. At the beginning this was a hardship for my mother, but she was determined to make it work. 

She not only helped me whenever I needed but she also taught me to help myself. She taught me to keep myself clean and neat, how to eat and how to know how much to eat.  She says, “a child does not learn from what parents say but from what parents do”.  

I have had three operations and various therapies on my spine but none have been successful. I was rejected from schools because of their lack of infrastructure and facilities. I was finally admitted to one school. 

My mother had to be there with me the whole day, but at the same time she also had to handle our home life. So she started tailoring and working during school hours. That is how she was able to satisfy financial needs in the home. 

Now I’ve graduated in Business Administration and I’m pursuing a Masters.

Whenever I look at my mother I see an ordinary person but when I think about what she does and how she does it she becomes divine and the reason of my smile! 

The experience of my life so far has truly brought things into perspective. My mother has taught me that hard times can be overcome and that losing battles can be won. She has taught me more than I could have learnt from any book. 

She sets an inspirational example to me teaching me how to live life and make wise choices, even in the most uncertain situations.

I respect her a lot. She is my inspiration, my role model.

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31 Eloquent And Heartfelt Quotes To Show Appreciation To Your Mom

It isn’t hyperbole to say , “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my mom .”

Yes, she gave birth to you (or claimed you as her own if you’re adopted), but she also helped shape you into the person you are today. 

Without her loving, caring, and supportive presence, you wouldn’t be here with the same values, character traits, and sense of belonging that you possess right now . 

And there’s no better time than today to let your mom know that you haven’t missed a thing — all of the love she’s given you, the time she’s invested in you, and the sacrifices she’s made for you. 

Whether you want to thank her with appreciation Mother’s Day quotes, or you just had a swelling surge of gratitudeon a random day, we have just the list you need.

These quotes on motherly love and devotion will put into words the deep feelings you have for your Mamacita!

31 Mother Appreciation Quotes to Show You Care

If you appreciate your mother but don’t know precisely how to put your feelings into words, these quotes from famous people and thought leaders will inspire you to craft your personal message to mom.

Use them as-is, or rewrite them to suit your style and sentiments. There’s no right or wrong here — your mom’s heart will melt just knowing how you feel about her.

1. “Everything I've learned that's worth knowing, I learned from my mother.” – Kelly Roper

2. “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother” — Abraham Lincoln

3. “I look back on my childhood and thank the stars above. For everything you gave me, but mostly for your love.” — Wayne F. Winters

4. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill

5. “If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in my garden.” – Claudia Ghandi

6. “If I know what love is, it’s because of you.” – Hermann Hesse

7. “Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heartthrob.” —Leroy Brownlow

8. “My Mother: She is beautiful, softened at the edges and tempered with a spine of steel. I want to grow old and be like her. ” —Jodi Picoult

9. “It may be possible to gild pure gold, but who can make his mother more beautiful?” —Mahatma Gandhi

10. “Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all.” —Oliver Wendell Holmes

11. “My mother was my role model before I even knew what that word was.” —Lisa Leslie

12. “To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.” —Maya Angelou

13. “There is nothing as sincere as a mother’s kiss.” —Saleem Sharma

14. “A mother’s love is more beautiful than any fresh flower.” —Debasish Mridha

15. “When you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.” —Mitch Albom

16. “A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” —Cardinal Mermillod

17. “If love is as sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love.” —Stevie Wonder

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18. “There is no velvet so soft as a mother’s lap, no rose as lovely as her smile, no path so flowery as that imprinted with her footsteps.” —Archibald Thompson

19. “Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.” —Lisa Alther

20. “A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don’t even have.” —Robert Brault

21. “A mother’s love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.” —Marion C. Garretty

22. “To a child’s ear, ‘mother’ is magic in any language.” —Arlene Benedict

23. “Mother—that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.” —T. Dewitt Talmage

24. “My mother is my root, my foundation. She planted the seed that I base my life on, and that is the belief that the ability to achieve starts in your mind.” —Michael Jordan

25. “A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.” —Dorothy Canfield Fisher

26. “The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.” – William Goldsmith Brown

27. “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.” — Tenneva Jordan

28. “A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.” — Victor Hugo

29. “Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face.” — George Eliot

30. “A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.” – Emily Dickinson

31. “The woman who is my best friend, my teacher, my everything: Mom.” — Sandra Vischer

How will you use these appreciation quotes for mom?

You’ve found the quote or quotes for mom that reflect how you feel about your mother. So now what? There are so many ways to use them beyond simply putting them in a Mother’s Day card. 

Consider some of these ideas:

• Print your favorite on a mug to give mom as a gift.
• Put several on sticky notes and post them around your mom’s house.
• Email or text her a quote a day for 31 days.
• Have a calligrapher create a beautiful design with the quote and frame it for mom.

Now that you’re inspired, go forth and show some love to your beautiful mama!

Descriptive Essay

Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Descriptive Essay About My Mother - A Guide to Writing

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Have you ever wanted to convey the depth of your feelings and appreciation for your mother through words, but felt unsure about how to do it effectively?

Crafting a descriptive essay about your mother can be a challenging task. You want to capture her essence, the love she's given you, and the incredible person she is. 

But how do you put all those emotions into words that truly do her justice?

In this blog, we'll provide you with a step-by-step guide on how to write a heartwarming and meaningful descriptive essay about your mother. 

We’ll also provide essay examples to assist you in crafting an enhanced paper, complemented by valuable tips and guidance.

Let’s get started.

• 1. Descriptive Essay - What You Need to Know
• 2. How to Write a Descriptive Essay About My Mother - 8 Easy Steps
• 3. Examples of Descriptive Essay About My Mother
• 4. Tips to Write a Descriptive Essay About Mother

Descriptive Essay - What You Need to Know

A descriptive essay is a type of essay that uses words to describe an object, person, experience, or place. The purpose of writing this type of essay is to provide the reader with a vivid and clear description of something. The writer must use sensory details, such as sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste to make the reader experience the topic.

When writing about a person such as your mother, you need to describe the characteristics that make her unique. It can include personality traits or experiences that make her special.

Reading a few essay samples will help you out! So read on to find good examples and tips.

How to Write a Descriptive Essay About My Mother - 8 Easy Steps

Writing a heartfelt and vivid descriptive essay about your mother requires careful consideration. 

Here, we'll guide you through the process step by step, helping you express your feelings and admiration effectively:

Step 1: Choose a Focus

Decide on a specific aspect or trait of your mother that you want to describe. It could be her appearance, personality, nurturing qualities, or a particular event that showcases her character.

Step 2: Brainstorm Descriptive Words

Make a list of adjectives and descriptive words that come to mind when you think about your mother. Try to capture the essence of her being.

Step 3: Create an Outline

Organize your thoughts by creating a descriptive essay outline . Decide on the structure, such as the introduction, body, and conclusion, and what aspects you'll cover in each section.

Step 4: Start with a Hook

Begin your essay with an engaging hook or an anecdote that draws the reader in. It can be a personal memory or a captivating description of your mother.

Step 5: Descriptive Details

In the body of your essay, use sensory details to paint a vivid picture. Describe her appearance, mannerisms, and the emotions she evokes. Incorporate the descriptive words from your brainstorming list.

Step 6: Emotions and Memories

Share your personal emotions and memories associated with your mother. How does she make you feel, and what experiences have shaped your relationship with her?

Step 7: Use Metaphors and Similes

Employ metaphors and similes to enhance your descriptions. Compare her to elements from nature, objects, or anything that can add depth to your portrayal.

Step 8: Show, Don't Tell

Instead of simply stating qualities, show them through actions, interactions, and specific examples. Let the reader experience her through your words.

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Examples of Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Exploring essay examples can provide valuable insights for crafting an essay that deeply connects with your readers. 

Below, you'll find both a descriptive essay about my mother and an analysis of its content.

Why This Descriptive Essay Works

Here are several reasons why this descriptive essay is effective:

• Emotional Connection

The essay immediately establishes an emotional connection with the reader through its theme of a mother's love. The use of descriptive language and personal anecdotes invites the reader to empathize and relate to the feelings and experiences described.

• Vivid Imagery

The essay employs vivid imagery to paint a clear picture of the mother and her attributes. The descriptions of her eyes, hands, voice, and smile create a sensory experience for the reader, making them feel as if they are present with the author.

The essay uses symbolism effectively to convey the depth of the mother's love. The mother's eyes, for example, symbolize her wisdom and the shared experiences with the author. The use of the mother's hands as a source of healing symbolizes her nurturing and caring nature.

• Structure and Flow

The essay is well-structured and flows seamlessly from one descriptive element to another. 

It begins with a general introduction, moves into specific descriptions, and ends with a strong, heartfelt conclusion. This organization keeps the reader engaged and ensures a logical progression of ideas.

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• Emotional Impact

The essay's emotional impact is profound. It not only describes the mother's physical attributes but also delves into the intangible qualities that make her special. The reader is left with a deep sense of appreciation for the role of a mother and the love she provides.

• Relatability

The essay's theme of maternal love is universal, making it relatable to a broad audience. Most readers can connect with the feelings of love, protection, and guidance that the author describes. 

If you still find it challenging to write a descriptive essay, consider these additional examples for guidance.

Descriptive Essay About My Mother PDF

Descriptive Essay About My Mother My Hero

Descriptive Essay Example About Mother

Descriptive Essay About My Mother 200 Words

Descriptive Essay On My Mother's Kitchen

Sample Descriptive Essay About My Mother

Here is a video of another short essay example about mother:

Want to read descriptive essays on other topics as well? Here are more descriptive essay examples that will help you out!

Tips to Write a Descriptive Essay About Mother

Now that you’ve read the examples, let’s look at some tips that will lead you to essay writing success.

• Start with the Basics

Begin by brainstorming ideas of what makes your mother special and why she is important to you. Think about her personality traits, accomplishments, quirks, and unique qualities. In addition, consider the ways that your mother has influenced you and shaped your life.

You can also practice your writing skills with other descriptive essay topics . So write away!

• Create an Outline

Once you have all of your ideas written down, create an descriptive essay outline that will guide the structure of your essay. This should include sections for your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

• Capture Her Essence

Use vivid language to capture the essence of who your mother is. Utilize descriptive words and phrases that will help your reader understand who your mother is and what she means to you.

• Show, Don’t Tell

Instead of simply telling the reader about your mother’s traits or accomplishments, use stories and examples to illustrate them. This will make your essay more interesting to readers.

• Keep Your Tone Consistent

Maintaining a consistent tone throughout ensures a cohesive narrative without feeling disjointed or scattered. This keeps readers interested until they reach their conclusion!

• Don’t Forget the Conclusion

Summarize the main points of your essay in your conclusion and provide a call to action for readers. Maybe you’ll leave them feeling inspired or motivated to do something special for their own mother.

• Revise & Edit Diligently

Revision is key when putting together any written piece. Read over your work multiple times and fix any errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Also improve any awkward phrasing or unclear ideas that might not be conveyed effectively enough.

To sum it up,

Writing a descriptive essay about your mother doesn't have to be difficult. With our guide and examples, you can easily write an effective essay that will make your mother proud! So get started today, and create the perfect essay for her!

By following these tips and examples, you will find it easier to write a meaningful descriptive essay about your mother. Good luck!

Looking for a professional descriptive essay writer to write it for you? We're right here for you!

You can trust our custom essay writing online for all your essay needs. We offer top-notch essay writing help to you get the best grade possible. Our essay writers are experienced and qualified to handle any essay topic with ease.

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My Mother's Life: Mom, I Want to Know Everything About You - Give to Your Mother to Fill in with Her Memories and Return to You as a Keepsake (Volume 5) (Creative Keepsakes, 5) Paperback – Digital, December 15, 2020

• Part of series Creative Keepsakes journals
• Print length 204 pages
• Language English
• Publisher Chartwell Books
• Publication date December 15, 2020
• Dimensions 6.05 x 0.85 x 8.4 inches
• ISBN-10 0785839089
• ISBN-13 978-0785839088
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Give to your mother to fill in with her memories and return to you as a keepsake.

Creative Keepsakes

With so much of our lives and contact going digital, the Creative Keepsakes journals offer an intimate way to nurture your connection with yourself and the people around you. An entertaining way to get off your screen, these guided and free-form journals are great for writers and artists alike. Each journal offers content around a different theme, including silly prompts for a laugh, random yet thoughtful questions, inspiration for art and composition, interactive prompts to learn about your heritage, and blank interiors on high-quality paper stock to use as your creative canvas. Beautifully designed and full of mindful prompts, channel your inspiration as you put pen (or pencil, or marker, or crayon!) to paper to learn more about yourself, your talents, and the people you love.

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• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Chartwell Books (December 15, 2020)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 204 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0785839089
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0785839088
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.6 ounces
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.05 x 0.85 x 8.4 inches
• #74 in Reference & Collections of Biographies
• #229 in Guided Journals (Books)
• #734 in Journal Writing Self-Help

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Essay on My Mother for Schools Students and Children

500+ words essay on my mother.

My mother is an ordinary woman she is my superhero. In every step of my, she supported and encouraged me. Whether day or night she was always there for me no matter what the condition is. Furthermore, her every work, persistence, devotion, dedication, conduct is an inspiration for me. In this essay on my mother, I am going to talk about my mother and why she is so special to me.

Why I Love My Mother So Much?

I love her not because she is my mother and we should respect our elders. I respect her because she has taken care of me when I was not able to speak. At that time, she has taken care of all my needs when I wasn’t able to speak.

Additionally, she taught me how to walk, speak, and take care of myself. Similarly, every bigger step that I have taken in my life is all because of my mother. Because, if she hasn’t taught me how to take small steps then I won’t be able to take these bigger step.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

She is an essence of truthfulness, love, and sincerity. Another reason is that she showers her family with her blessing and live. Furthermore, she gives us everything but never demand anything in return. The way she cares for everyone in the family inspires me to the same in my future.

Also, her love is not just for the family she treats every stranger and animals the same way she did to me. Due to, this she is very kind and sensible towards the environment and animals.

Get English Important Questions here

Her Strengths

Although she is not physically very strong she faces every hurdle of her life and of the family too. She motivates me to be like her and never submit in difficult times. Above all, my mother encourages me to improve my all-round skills and studies. She motivates me to try again and again till I get success in it.

A Companion of Trouble

Whenever I was in trouble or scolded by dad I run towards my mother as she is the only one that can save me from them. Whether a small homework problem or a bigger problem she was always there for me.

When I was afraid of the dark she would become my light and guide me in that darkness. Also, if I can’t sleep at night she would hold my head on her lap until I fell asleep. Above all, she never leaves my side even in the hardest of times.

Every mother is special for her children. She is a great teacher, a lovely friend, a strict parent. Also, she takes cares of the need of the whole family. If there is anyone out there who loves us more than our mother is only God. Not just for my mother but for every mother out there who lives her life for her family deserves praiseworthy applause.

Frequently Asked Questions for You

Q.1 When did the Mother’s Day be celebrated in India and why?

A.1 Mother’s Day is celebrated on the Second Sunday in the month of May. It’s celebrated to appreciate the hard work that our mother’s do in their life. And the sacrifices that they make to keep their family happy.

Q.2 Why mother is so special?

A.2 They are special because they are mothers. They are the superwomen that do all the housework, teach and take care of their children, looks after her husband, do her job and at the end of the day if you ask for her help she says ‘yes’ with a smile on her face.

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7+ tribute ideas for a mother who has passed away.

Paying tribute to a mother who has passed away is a common gesture children and others want to make. You’ll often find tributes in books, art, film, poems, and other media, but these aren’t the only places to pay tribute to someone you’ve lost. You can also pay tribute to a mother by doing any of the following: through an event, honorary donation, and other ways. Here’s some ideas to get you started on paying tribute to a mother who died.

Words to say at a funeral for your mother

If you're looking for suggestions on paying tribute to a mother at her funeral, you've come to the right place. Paying tribute can be done verbally or nonverbally, which can make it easier for all types of people to pay tribute to their mother at her funeral. In general, when paying tribute, you'll want to focus on the ways in which your mother was important to you, her impact on others, and what made her unique and special.

Example of a tribute to a mother who passed away

"Thank you so much to everyone for being here today to celebrate the life and honor the memory of my mother. To explain just how much my mother means to me is an impossible task, but I want to make sure that I pay tribute to my mother at her funeral. My mother was one of the strongest, bravest, and kindest humans to grace this planet. Without her, I wouldn't be here today, I wouldn't be the person I am, and I wouldn't have the life I have. She is everything to me, and more, and there's no way I could ever quantify the importance she's held in my life. My mother was the best mother a person could ask for: [list some of her qualities]. Thank you, mom, for everything. In closing, I'd like to read this poem, one of my mom's favorites: [Poem] I love you, mom."

Poems about the death of a mother

Funeral poems for mothers usually include a reference to their importance in our lives, their guidance and knowledge as a mom, their love of their family, or other aspects of motherhood. You can find some example poems about losing a mother and poems about the death of a mother below. These poems also serve as excellent mothers day poems for moms that have passed away.

A Sonnet for My Incomparable Mother by Joanna Fuchs "I think of all the things you gave to me / Sacrifice, devotion, love and tears / Your heart, your mind, your energy and soul / All these you spent on me throughout the years."

Goodbye Mom by Aneela Ahmed "As you leave today / Let me cry, let me say / My mom was my hero. / Leading me to right / Forgiving and loving / A star so bright. / So I lose today / My support, my light. / My dear Mom. / Making my life bright."

If Roses Grow in Heaven by Dolores M. Garcia "If roses grow in heaven, / Lord please pick a bunch for me, / Place them in my Mother’s arms / and tell her they’re from me."

Richer Than Gold by Strickland Gillilan “You may have tangible wealth untold / Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold / Richer than I you can never be / I had a mother who read to me.”

Wonderful Mother by Patrick O’Reilly "God made a wonderful mother, / A mother who never grows old; / He made her smile of the sunshine. / And He moulded her heart of pure gold; / In her eyes He placed bright shining stars, / In her cheeks fair roses you see; / God made a wonderful mother, / And He gave that dear mother to me."

When God Thought of Mother by Henry Ward Beecher "When God thought of mother, / He must have laughed with satisfaction, / and framed it quickly – / so rich, so deep, so divine, / so full of soul, power, and beauty, / as the conception."

A Mother’s Crown by Unknown "Heaven lit up with a mighty presence, / as the Angels all looked down. / Today the Lord was placing the jewels / Into my mother’s crown."

Quotes to include when paying tribute to a mother

You can include these quotes at the end of your tribute, eulogy, or speech, if you decide to give one.

“Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity.” - Terri Guillemets

“My mother is a never ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.” - Graycie Harmon

“There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.” - Mahatma Gandhi

"What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us." - Helen Keller

"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you ... I could walk in my own garden forever." - Alfred Tennyson

"No matter what age... I'll always need you mom.­" - Unknown

"Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form." Rumi

Funeral ideas for mom

Many families and individuals want to make sure that their mother's funeral is a special one, but may not know where to start. When it comes to making a funeral unique or uniquely special, it's important to stay true to the individual who passed away. Here are some funeral ideas for a mother who has passed that can help you pay tribute to your mom.

Make a memorial website for her

A memorial website is a wonderful way to share the life of your mom with friends, family, and your community. Memorial websites on Ever Loved come with tons of features that other families have found incredibly helpful and useful in remembering the life of someone they loved. A memorial website gives you the opportunity to publish an obituary, share family history, start a fundraiser, share memories and photos, and share any important event information you have -- all for free.

Start a memorial website

Decorate the service with your mother's favorite flowers or colors

If your mother had a favorite color, plant, or type of flower, decorating the service with this plant or flower (or color) is a great way to honor her memory. You can take this one step further by asking attendees to wear a piece of clothing that's of this color or, if they're considering arrangements, to send arrangements with your specific flower or plant in mind.

Read out favorite memories or moments

Ask friends and loved ones to send in favorite memories or moments so that you can collect them and read them at some point during the ceremony. This is a great way to share moments or memories that others may not have been aware of and can help create a sense of shared joy and connectedness among those attending.

Give attendees a set of favorite recipes

Was your mom a great cook? Were there any recipes she was particularly known for? Sharing these recipes with loved ones is an easy and loving way to share something your mom was great at with all of those who know her.

Hold the memorial service somewhere special

If you're able to, hosting the memorial service in a special spot is an excellent way to honor your mother's memory. If you're not able to host

Plan an annual trip to a favorite spot

Did your mom have a favorite camping spot or favorite restaurant? Planning an annual trip to this spot in her memory is a great way to connect with your friends and family while honoring your mother's memory.

Do a butterfly or pigeon release

Butterfly or pigeon releases can add an added element of nature and beauty at your mother's funeral. You can ask that there's a moment of silence during this time or have a certain special song be sung or played. This is also a great time to ask folks to share a special moment or memory they had with your mother.

Have people plant in a garden dedicated to your mom

If you have space that'd you like to dedicate to your mom, consider planting a garden in her memory. Have friends and family come to the space and give them seeds or sprouts to plant in the garden. This is a wonderful way to see a living tribute grow over time in her memory.

Regardless of your chosen method of honoring your mother, it’s encouraged that you set up a memorial website - even if it’s just to share information on the other ways in which you’re memorializing your mom. Memorial websites are free, stay up indefinitely, and are easy to use and set up.

Create a memorial website

Get funeral quotes, get free grief support, how to donate to charity in someone's memory.

Donating to a charity in memory of someone is a great way of honoring the person who has passed on and an excellent way of recognizing their contributions. The best charities are often those that have a personal connection, so you should try to find something that would be meaningful to the person w

Are Obituaries Required by Law?

Obituaries are a common way of remembering people who are no longer with us. We are often left to wonder what they were like, how their life was lived, and what legacy they left behind. While obituaries are important, you may find yourself questioning whether they're required by law. What if you don

When to Publish an Obituary

When someone passes away, there are several steps that are usually taken before they can be laid to rest; notifying family members and friends about the person's death is one of those tasks. Publishing an obituary formally announces the person’s death, tells their life story, and shares key funeral

Want to publish an obituary for free?

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How To Write About Your Mother

Terry mcdonell: “i did not set out to write about irma.”.

Mother’s Day was never a real holiday to my mother—more about marketing than raising me. No white carnations or special dinners for her. But that my memoir about her, Irma: The Education of a Mother’s Son , was published just before this Mother’s Day would make her smile. Likewise, that I have written about her at all.

I did not set out to write about Irma. The working title of my new book was Trouble in Mind , and it was going to be about how it was for me as a little boy and how what I learned breaking rules as a kid defined me as an adult. After several clunky drafts, I saw that the stories and details that had stayed with me over my years were hackneyed—retreaded like old tires with too many miles. In other words, I sounded like everybody else, with the same old media stories.

It was discouraging until I saw that the most compelling person on my pages was not me, but Irma. That simple long-time-coming but immediately obvious observation allowed me to start over, not like Irma starting over as the 25-year-old widow of a navy pilot with a 4-month-old son, but in my own way to reckon with how our lives had played out. I thought about how, when I was bored, she would tell me to use my imagination. She had been serious. But I wasn’t making anything up, rather taking generalized memory, like driving across the country when I was 5, and then letting my mind run until I suddenly saw Irma smiling, with a bright scarf around her neck, talking a highway patrolman out of a speeding ticket.

Almost immediately the annoying writer’s compulsion to talk endlessly about his or herself started slipping away until I was no longer a student of my own history, rather a son finding his way to fifty thousand words about the most important person in his life. I looked for ways my ideas about Irma might make it to the page, the sacred page where I learned to think as I had learned to read, with wonder, the way Irma had taught me.

Thinking is just selective memory anyway. Put two things together that have never been together before, and the world is changed: chaos theory. Memory works that way too. No story is told just once, but it is never exactly the same story. That was all I needed to know, except certain memories seemed to be searching me out. I knew the brain handles positive and negative information differently, in different hemispheres; troubling info, what most people don’t want to think about, takes more time to process, which means more thinking, and bad events are harder to forget and wear off more slowly, some never. But you can bury them. I was aware. Piece of cake.

That was when I let go. The past would always be there, but to remember everything—madness. Better to sort the scraps of memory—snapshots, really, of the long strangeness of Irma’s life opening slowly like a good film until details came back to me in flashes. I think everyone has similar moments, when remembering something their mother did or said illuminates her. Maybe nothing is precise and none of the little pieces fit together but you can’t help seeing more if you think a little harder. In a very strange way, you can see yourself too—from a distance that surprises you. In my case the way Irma would drive with her elbow out the window when it was hot.

My memory built on itself with small truths. Irma had always said it was admirable to want to learn what she called the “whole wide world,” but you should try to know some small truths too. Remembering that I thought of a barefoot and pregnant girl I had seen in Mexico. Almost a child, really. She was sweeping a dirt yard next to a gas station in Chihuahua, where many of the migrant children Irma taught to read were from.

Associations like that can be bridges over great gaps of time. I think Irma wanted me to grow up to be the kind of serious man who knew something about the world and could stand up and tell people what he thought without showing off. The kind of a man who stood up for people, especially women. The kind of man that liked women. I knew from the beginning that men liked Irma, although I had only vague ideas what that meant at the time, or what it ever meant to her. Her attitude seemed to be that men and women were just different and that was not good or bad. They did not have to understand each other to get along—and that was sexy.

When I was in junior high school, Irma told me if I liked girls, they would like me back. It was a two-way street according to Irma, and manners were part of that, but those manners were supposed to make me feel good about myself, too. I think now that was how Irma passed me a version of her evolving feminism which allowed me to embrace strong women who reminded me of her in ways I did not quite recognize.

Soon enough, I was drawn to women others found difficult. They were more interesting simply by not going along, sometimes busting me for not paying attention or showing off. Like Irma, in a way, but, of course, not. I became was aware that women not letting me off the hook for this or that might be good for me, might be helping me  evolve , in the argot of the day.

Irma seldom talked about her boyfriends except sometimes after they were gone, when a name would come up and she would roll her eyes that she did not know what she had been thinking. What I saw, though, was that she liked them all, although she certainly did not need them. Everyone said Irma was the prettiest mom, but I remembered one time back in Duluth when I was very young, and Irma was talking on the phone.

We were dressed up to go out and I was standing next to her, waiting in my little bow tie, and Irma was telling her girlfriend, Sis, that it was never good to be too pretty. Where did that memory come from? The thing was, though, I had always known there was something wrong, even if it was complicated by details I had somehow missed only to remember now.

I imagined my unconscious dragging out such details like lost gloves that needed to be paired or thrown away. If I was going to write about Irma, I needed to shake all the trees and look closely at whatever fell out. Shake the trees? Old gloves? I winced at the tropes. I would write simply about Irma, not a mission statement, something humble to be read in a single sitting about how, before I could remember anything else, I remembered Irma teaching him the names of things, the trees and birds and insects of the Santa Clara Valley. That was her alchemy, and somehow it had given me confidence that I could live in a real world.

After I had started working at what Irma never called my career, we had a new dynamic, a kind of code. Nothing was ever wrong in our lives. No complaints from either of us. When we talked on the phone about people we had known in Burbank or Campbell there was no judgment. I was aware of this as a turn in our relationship, a way to create a better past in the face of regret. But it was on me because regret was never Irma’s style. She was teaching by example. I didn’t have to criticize anyone.

I am not sure what Irma would make of Irma . She would not have objected, but that does not mean she would not have had her own thoughts, which she would probably keep to herself.  Maybe she would remember asking me what I was writing besides journalism. Like what? I had wondered. “Like the writers you like,” Irma said. Impossible, I thought, but was grateful. She was encouraging me. Irma would never judge.

_______________________

Terry McDonell’s Irma: The Education of a Mother’s Son was recently published by Harper, an imprint of HarperCollins. 

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How to Write a Tribute to a Mother Who Passed Away

Writing a tribute to a mother who passed away is a bittersweet task. The loss itself creates a heaviness in your heart that seems unbearable, yet the act of remembering her results in a joy that is profound. 

Mothers are the most special people in the world. They embody the grace and wisdom needed to succeed at humanity’s most important role. No one shows the kind of unconditional love that our mothers display for us.

That’s why, when we pay them tribute, we must do it in a memorable, respectful, and beautiful way. To offer the very best tribute to a mother proves that we are honoring the most highly regarded person in our lives.

Still, it’s not an easy thing to do. Writing is hard enough, and few of us have much experience writing a tribute. It’s even more difficult when you’re experiencing the emotions that come after the passing of a loved one.

So here is our guide on how to write a tribute to a beloved mother. We hope this resource serves you well.

Tribute vs Eulogy: What’s the Difference?

A tribute is a respectful speech that honors an individual. It can be given after their death, but it can also be spoken in honor of someone who is still living, possibly even in the room.

A eulogy is a very specific type of tribute that is given at a funeral. It tells the decedent’s life story and tries to give a sense of what they meant to those closest to them, and to the world.

Typically only one eulogy is given at a funeral. But what if there are more people who want to say something in their memory? This is where a tribute speech comes in.

In this sense, a tribute is often shorter than a eulogy, sometimes just a quote, a brief heartfelt paragraph, or a single story that the person wants to tell. These tributes still contribute to the overall tapestry of her life story and legacy.

How to Write a Tribute to Mom

You probably knew your mother better than anyone. Be confident that your personal memories are accurate and worthy of being told. You can always consult with family members to help you recall the stories of your mother that you all shared.

When telling your mother’s life story, it’s important that you present information in chronological order. Begin with the place and date of birth and move forward from there. This makes the narrative easy to follow.

Keep in mind that it’s not necessary to include every detail of her life. Ask yourself which moments were the most meaningful.

And don’t forget to use transition words or phrases when moving from one event to another. This will provide further clarity overall. 

Below, we’ve provided 10 things you could feature when writing a tribute to your mother. If you include everything below, it will be very similar to a traditional eulogy.

As you write your tribute speech, you can utilize any number of these features until you’ve composed exactly what you want to say.

1. Introduction

To start, introduce yourself to the congregation, especially if there are some guests who don’t know you. For example, “Thank you for being here today. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is ____________ and I am _______________’s eldest daughter/son.”

If you feel that the standard introduction is not necessary, you could start the eulogy with an anecdote instead. This is a great way to grab the attention of the audience and create interest. Recall a touching or funny incident you shared with your mother. This should be a moment that was brief but memorable, conveying the personality of your mom.

2. Life Details

After the introduction, identify some basic information about your mother. This includes when and where she was born, where she went to school, and details about her professional and family life.

3. Include Both Ups and Downs

Identify struggles and triumphs along her personal journey. All of these things are important parts of her life story.

4. Help the Audience Relate

Because no one is immune to struggles, this is an opportunity to connect with the audience and make your mother relatable. Equally so, it’s an opportunity to let her successes shine!

5. Let Mom’s Unique Personality Shine

Identify special qualities or characteristics your mother possessed. Include specific examples if you can.

6. Mention Personal Interests

Describe your mother’s goals, talents, hobbies, and passions.

7. Communicate Her Faith

If religious, describe and give examples of her faith. Quote her favorite Bible verse or Psalm if you’d like, or one of these beloved funeral Scripture passages .

8. Tell a Story

Describe a favorite story that you or someone shared with your mother. These could be moments that were touching or funny. Whichever the case, they should be instances that revealed something about her character.

9. Share a Life Lesson

Consider what you and others have learned from your mom. Reflect upon how she has helped or impacted your life or the lives of others.

10. Celebrate Her Legacy

As you conclude the tribute, think about the overall legacy your mother is leaving behind. For what would you like her to be remembered? This is your final moment to leave something for your audience to remember.

Short Memorial Quotes for Mom

Here are some brief quotes to help inspire you as you craft the perfect tribute.

1. Motherhood exists in one’s ability to show strength in the face of hardship, tenderness in the presence of sorrow, and joy in the midst of celebration.

2. “Hold dear to your parents, for it is a scary and confusing world without them.” — Emily Dickinson

3. “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.” — Abraham Lincoln

4. “My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart – a heart so large that everybody’s joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.” — Mark Twain

5. “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching;” — Proverbs 1:8

6. “Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world, a mother’s love is not.” — James Joyce

7. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.” — Rudyard Kipling

8. “Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” — Robert Browning

9. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.” — Princess Diana

10. “A mother’s arms are made of tenderness, and children sleep soundly in them.” — Victor Hugo

More inspiration: 21 Best Funeral Songs In Memory of Mom

Examples of Tributes to Mom

May these example tributes inspire you to honor your mother in a very special way. Feel free to borrow and adapt the sentiments below as you craft your own tribute to mom.

Short Tribute to a Mother Who Passed Away

As I reflect upon my mother’s life, I know she will be remembered as a caring and generous person to her family and friends. I also realize the weight of the legacy she leaves behind. It is a legacy of strength, perseverance, and optimism amid a difficult journey.

She taught her children that through education and hard work, a life can be transformed. She encouraged us to be strong in our convictions and keep reaching for the stars. She is an inspiration to us all and an example of the very simple notion that the stars – our hopes and dreams – can be reached.

Emotional Tribute to a Mother Who Passed Away

Aside from all the treasured memories that my mother left behind, which allow us to hold her forever near, she also leaves behind a legacy of teaching her children what is most important in life.

She taught us to never be afraid of the world, to reach out to people, and to try new things. She was a wonderful example of empathy, especially when showing compassion for others who were struggling.

My mother’s love for life propelled her forward, which undoubtedly contributed to her long and fulfilling life. I know that she will continue to guide me as I continue my own life’s journey.

Though my mother may be gone, she will never be forgotten. Her memory and legacy will live on as we do, in our hearts, in our minds, and in our souls. I love you, Mom.

Christian Tribute to a Mother Who Passed Away

Though my mother’s highest accomplishment was her family, her greatest relationship was with God. She looked everything through eyes of faith, yet in all simplicity. She lived her life according to His word and found comfort in prayer, focusing special attention on seeking intercession and guidance along the way.

She did not bother to sully this relationship by allowing the influence of society to complicate it. She did not need proof that what she practiced was the truth because she was content in pondering the beautiful mysteries that were her faith. If we breathe new life into this lesson of faith, if we incorporate it into our own lives, then we carry on her legacy and give her reason to smile.

Memorializing Mothers: 21 Best Cremation Urns for Mom

In Memory of My Mother Who Passed Away

My mother’s tenderness will be seen in the memories of her grandkids, and her compassion for others will be embraced by those she helped and the friends who witnessed.

Her sense of humor will be heard as we recall the echo of her laughter or visualize the outline of her smile.

Maybe, in the whisper of a faint autumn breeze, we’ll hear her voice and remember the lessons she upheld that warrant an honor well deserved.

Rest in peace, my sweet mother. You will be missed.

Related: Eulogy Examples for Mom

Words for Someone Who Lost Their Mother

1. Words cannot capture all that your mother meant to me.

2. Your mother’s accomplishments will live on in the stories told by generations to come. 

3. I’ll always remember her for her strength, her beauty, and her ever-comforting encouragement. 

4. Though my heart aches at this loss alongside you, at the same time I rejoice for the privilege of having known her.

5. We will live out your mother’s example as a testimony and tribute to her.

More: 50 Best Sympathy Messages & Quotes for Loss of Mother

When Writing a Tribute Is Just Too Much

If you’re struggling to put into words all that your mother meant to you, a professional eulogy writer can help ease the burden and produce something you’ll be proud to read.

As the writer behind In Tribute Eulogy Services , I help provide a fast and easy way to personalize the perfect eulogy to honor your mother. Visit the website to learn more about how I can help with your tribute.

Read Next: How to Write a Tribute to a Sister

Margaret spent seventeen years as an English and Writing teacher before venturing into the funeral industry as a writer. She has been writing articles for US Urns Online since the summer of 2022. Margaret loves tackling subjects that help others navigate through the difficulties of grief.

After losing three close family members in less than four years and having to endure the difficult task of writing a eulogy for each, she considered assisting others through grief by helping them pay tribute with a beautiful memorial speech. As a result, she started her own eulogy writing business.

Her niche is unique because it offers others something that they might not have considered otherwise. For people enduring loss, it’s usually hard to set aside emotions to focus upon capturing life in a celebratory way. Margaret uses her personal experience with grief to practice empathy, making the process of creating a beautiful eulogy easy for her clients.

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30 inspirational mom quotes to lift up all mothers

Moms inspire us every single day and deserve to be celebrated.

If you're looking for a way to honor a mom or grandmother, or even find a little lift yourself, an inspirational mom quote might be exactly what you need.

These inspirational quotes from celebrities to authors are sure to make all moms and mother figures smile.

More love for moms!

• 100 best Mother's Day quotes for the woman you love
• 40 powerful motherhood quotes that celebrate all moms
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• 45 mother-son quotes to celebrate the bond of boy moms
• 30 mother-daughter quotes that are full of love

30 Inspirational Mom Quotes

Looking to honor your own mom? Need a quote to brighten a fellow mom's day? Whatever you’re searching for, we’ve got the inspirational mom quotes you need to energize all the special moms in your life:

• “Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heartthrob.” —Leroy Brownlow
• “I can imagine no heroism greater than motherhood.” —Lance Conrad, “The Price of Creation”

• “Only mothers can think of the future ― because they give birth to it in their children.” ―Maxim Gorky
• “A mother’s arms are made of tenderness, and children sleep soundly in the them.” ―Victor Hugo
• “A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.” ―Dorothy Canfield Fisher
• “You can feel when your mom’s proud of you. You can feel the love.” —Jimmy Fallon  

• “Becoming a mother has made me next-level confident. I’ve never felt more empowered.” —Kelly Clarkson
• “Such a mysterious business, motherhood. How brave a woman must be to embark on it.” ―M.L. Stedman, “The Light Between Oceans”
• “If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother.” —Booker T. Washington
• “The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation.” —James E. Faust
• “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind.” —Howard W. Hunter
• “Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” —Robert Browning
• “There is no greater good in all the world than motherhood. The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation.” —James E. Faust
• “To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow.” — Maya Angelou
• “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” —Agatha Christie
• “At the end of the day, my most important job is still mom-in-chief.” —Michelle Obama
• “Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not.” —James Joyce

• “Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all.” —Oliver Wendell Holmes
• “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” —Abraham Lincoln
• “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.” —Dorothy Canfield Fisher

• “[Motherhood is] the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary — it’s an act of infinite optimism.” — Gilda Radner
• “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.” —Gail Tsukiyama
• “Having children just puts the whole world into perspective. Everything else just disappears.” —Kate Winslet

• “It’s the job that I take most seriously in my life and I think it’s the hardest job.” —Debra Messing
• “I’ve never had more appreciation for anyone in my entire life until I became a mom.” —Chrissy Teigen
• “Only mothers can think of the future because they give birth to it in their children.” —Maxim Grosky
• “I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is.” —Oprah Winfrey
• “Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.” —Lin Yutang
• “My mom smiled at me. Her smile kind of hugged me.”―R.J. Palacio, "Wonder"
• “The truth is that no matter how old we are, as long as our mothers are alive, we want our mother.” —Goldie Hawn

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Kait Hanson is a lifestyle reporter for TODAY. A graduate of Penn State University, she began her career in collegiate sports communications.

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Writing My Mother’s Memoir: So Who Is She Really?

Denis’ mom is the one standing in center back.

If you are like me, you know many details of your mother’s—or father’s—life. But there may be many vague relationships between this event and that event, between causes and effects. In other words, your parent’s life may end up seeming a mishmash of dates and facts and impressions and none of them blending very well together.

Being a person who has always been interested in family history, I considered myself aware of my mother’s and my father’s lives. Having worked with people to write memoirs, I wanted to be sure that I was not caught, as so many people have been, with not getting my parents’ story while the story was still available—which it wasn’t in my father’s case as he was deceased.

I begin to write

In 2009, I began to focus on interviewing my mother. Every few weeks (she lived in a different city), I would visit with her and get in a half hour interview. Since my mother was not primarily interested in preserving her life story (it was my interest), she was not committed to a beginning-to-end interview process. What I ended up doing was simply asking her questions—often in a conversation. Once back home, I would write down her answers to my questions.

My mother did not always sense that I was interviewing her for her memoir. Every once in a while however, I specifically had to inquire, “When was the date that you did this or you did that?” or “Which came first: this event or that?” In those moments, she became aware that I was continuing to write her memoir.

Tweet: My mom asked, “Why are you writing my memoir? Who will want to read it?”http://bit.ly/1dyT1Ju

She also might say, “How in the world are you going to find enough information to fill the pages of a book, even a small book?”

Since I was also working full-time at my company  Memoir Network, writing my mother’s book fit in around the edges of books that I was editing, coaching, ghostwriting. and teaching. In short, it fit around my income production. This process is not unlike how most people will write either their own memoir or the memoir of a loved one.

The memoir continues to grow

Over the next four years, I interviewed my mother and wrote text. When my mother gave up her apartment and moved into an assisted-living facility, I knew the leisurely pace at which I had been writing had to change. I applied myself to completing the memoir and set a time for finishing. I had wanted to get to a later point in her life as the ending.

However my mother’s ability to contribute to the story was diminishing. She had less of a grasp on specific details, on dates, on who was there and who did what when. I opted for a different end point than I had anticipated, one that was closer to the time of the text that I had already written. This proved to be a good closing point even if it was disappointing to three of my siblings whose birth did not make it into the memoir. (I mentioned them in an afterword.)

What did I get from writing my mother’s story?

I got acceptance of her life, a sense of who she was, and that who she was was just fine.

Tweet: Writing my mother’s memoir gave me the opportunity to get to know her in an intimate way. http://bit.ly/1dyT1Ju

Writing my mother’s memoir gave me the opportunity to get to know her in an intimate way that I had not had the opportunity to before. Her past had been vague; the setting of her life not at all clear; the sequencing of events haphazard at best.

There were a few occasions in my mother’s life when her response was a hero’s response, when she rose to the needs of an occasion that was difficult to live. She conducted herself well in those circumstances. That is a hero’s response. But the bulk of my mother’s life was yoeman’s work, pick and shovel work. It consisted of making a home, going to work, raising children and so forth. It was day-after-day work. Now this may be hero’s work of a certain kind but it turned out that it was a rather humdrum and ordinary sort of work. In a way, my mother’s life helped me to understand and to accept my own yeoman’s work.

Finally, the hard copy was finished and I showed it to my mother.

Tweet: When she saw the memoir, she said “How in the world did you ever find enough to say about me to fill so many pages?” http://bit.ly/1dyT1Ju

As I wrote her life, one task that was important to me was to fit her life into a cultural, social, and historical context.

Large parts of the 208-page book have to do with her time, with cultural or historical events. For instance, there was a flood in her city in 1936. Briefly I wrote about that flood. There were developments in the political life of her city that affected her. I also dealt with these on occasion. There were historical contexts that made for why she lived where she lived.

Many details having to do with our ethnicity, details that distinguished her adaptation to American life from that of members of other groups, found their way into the book. My mother’s bigger picture was one that was familiar to me and it was not difficult to place her life in that larger context.

Tweet: Whether you are writing your own memoir or somebody else’s I urge you not to put the task off. http://bit.ly/1dyT1Ju

Go ahead and commit to writing. The benefits are well worth the effort that you will have to expend.

===========

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I believe in some ways all of our mothers were heroes. My mother passed many years ago and her story will go untold. There is a part of me that grieves that and wishes I had the opportunity to learn and understand her more. Our mothers will always be our mothers and I am sure yours was very special. Thank you for sharing your process with us. I have a friend in hospice who is not visited by her daughter (and consequently her grandchildren). When she was losing her ability to speak I was shocked that no one wanted to hear what she had to say. She is a wise and wonderful spirit. From what I see in the facility she lives at, there are many, many mothers whose families don’t realize the value of their words. Hopefully, you will inspire someone (or several someones) to go and listen to their wisdom and stories.

You reminded me of my feelings when my mom was intubated and couldn’t speak anymore. I thought about the times in the past I wished she would stop fussing, and now her fussing would have been music to my ears.

Dear Linda,

In the time between when I sent Flora my guest post about writing my mother’s memoir and now, my dear mother has passed away at 93, almost 94. Her end was rather quick and for that we need to be grateful, but it did catch us unaware even if we knew that the end, given that she was 93 and in assisted living, could not be distant.

The staff shared with my family how my mother was the most visited person on the floor. They remarked how she had a flow of guest, how there were always flowers in bloom in her room, how we were always checking in with the staff about her care. For us, all of this was what we expected of ourselves—I supposed what our mother raised us to be.

One staffer told my brother, “Your family does so much for your mother.” He replied, “Well, I think we’re still thousands of soggy diapers and hundreds of sick crying nights in arrears. It’s not something we’ll ever catch up on.”

Your story of elders being abandoned is all too frequent.

I am so pleased to have written my mother’s story. It is very comforting to me

You have honored your mother in many ways. She was truly blessed to have you complete her memoir, and be surrounded by loved ones as she made her transition.

I’m happy that writing her story brings you comfort. It also encourages the rest of us who are considering writing our own memoirs.

Thank you again for sharing it with us.

Thanks for sharing the process of writing your mother’s memoir. I hope it will encourage those who still can hear their mother’s voice to ask questions and listen more.

Dear Gladys,

I second your encouragement.

While I wrote my mother’s memoir in the first person because she spoke it to me and I read every word to her for her approval, it is possible to write the story in the third person if a parent is not present to participate.

Have you written the memoir of one of your parents?

I’m hoping that this Denis’ message is heeded by others who have considered writing memoirs. I’m happy you chimed in to underscore this important task.

Denis: I am sorry for your loss and am sending prayers for you, your mother, and everyone involved. I am also so pleased to hear how your family came together for her. She was clearly a remarkable and well-loved woman.

When I finished clearing out my mother’s house after her death, I *had* to write her story. I discovered too many objects that held funny memories for me to keep them secret. I thought others whose parents encountered obstacles would be inspired by a strong woman who faced the tough times and partied on.

Thanks to sharing your experience with what moved you to write your mom’s story. I discovered we uncover many memories when go through a loved ones belongings after they passed. I had this experience when my son died this year. Your mom’s life was amazing.

Greetings, I am writing the story of my mother’s life. She was a tap dancer in New York in the 1930’s. She worked with Ed Wynn, Al Jolson and many others. I believe it will be self published and/or Kindle published. I wonder if I should write it in third person. What do you think?

Hi Patricia, there is no one right answer. If your book is based on interviewing your mother, like Denis Ledoux did, then writing is first person in appropriate. If, however, you’re writing it based on your memories and research, third person seems to be the preferred approach. If you belong to writers groups online and off, you can ask this question to see what they recommend. Best wishes for your book’s success. The topic certainly has widespread interest.

Dear Ms. Flora,

Thank you so much for your prompt answer. I had started in the second person tense, a familiar tone, but then realized that third person was probably the best one to narrate a story. Mother was somewhat well known in the 1930’s and I have found MANY newspaper clippings from that era as well as some beautiful photographs. I think this will make a good book as soon as I am able to gather all the research materials. Thank you again for the advice.

Sincerely, Patricia

Patricia, How wonderful that you have access to first-hand information on your mother. I urge you to be steadfast in writing your book. Many people have great stories to share but never get them done. Remember that writing your first draft is critical. Get your thoughts down without editing as you go. Once you’ve finished the rough draft you can begin the editing and then bring in a professional editor to polish it. Have you decided to seek an agent or do you plan to publish it yourself. Keep up the good work.

Flora, yes I am finding so much on mother. The newspapers.com website has given me so much in the way of pictures and articles. I am searching for her dance teacher and her connections with theater. I am following Mother’s life through about 1942 when she joined the Army, and after that her life with me. As for publishing, I was thinking maybe self- or on Kindle. Not sure. I have heard that most publishers will not take new authors.

Patricia, many people choose self-publishing because it’s the fastest way to get published. While it’s true that major publishers take very few new authors, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I recommend that you subscribe to a few other newsletters/blogs to learn what your options are in the industry. Google these folks==>Amy Collins, Judith Briles, Jane Friedman, Hugh Howey, Joel Friedlander and join groups like IndiesUnlimited.com, https://www.allianceindependentauthors.org/ , http://thecreativepenn.com , http://creativindie.com These will help you get up to speed on the industry as you continue to gather research. Learning about the publishing industry is part of your research too.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. My mother, a great woman recently died at 64. I wish i started her Memoir when she was alive, but i didn’t know she was going to die. i want to write her memoir now, before the memories fade from people’s mind. The experience you shared will be so helpful.

Hi Chioma, I’m delighted that the post is helpful. Best wishes in getting your memoir written.

Is there some way I can find some information on how to fill out chapters, and how much research on related areas I should do. For instance, if I am writing about my mother’s tap dancing career, shall I write an entire chapter on tap, which is related to her indirectly?

There is no place to turn to for the information you seek. Usually this discernment is work done with an editor or coach. I would say that a chapter deals with one action, one event or one grouping of energy. Your mother’s tap dancing career may have enough drama in it to warrant a chapter and then it might really be part of a series of quests she undertook. I would write it out and only then ask about whether it is sufficient for a chapter. This is the part of writing that is the art part. Good luck.

Thank you-some very good points. I am going to need a mentor. Does anyone here know where I can find one, and what they would charge?

I’d be happy to help point you in the right direction. Contact me and tell me if you’re interested in publishing your book or you just want to leave your story behind for your family. In either case, prices vary. Visit my site, florabrown.com, to see the courses I offer.

Dear Denis I want to embark on writing about my mother’s extraordinary life but also to include myself in the latter years. Do I write in the first or third person? Is a memoir a story? is it like a biography? sorry to bother you but I would be grateful for an answer ..thank you

Contact Denis on his website at https://thememoirnetwork.com/

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Support my mother's story and preserve the stories

Writing women's history one mother at a time... since 2004.

Write Her Story

How to write your mothers' story.

You do not have to submit a story to our Archive in order to write about your mother. But we would love it if you did.

You do not need to tell anyone you are writing about your mother. But later on you may wish to share.

Why Write Your Mother’s Story?

• to engage your creativity
• to honour your mother
• to lay her memory to rest
• to chronicle her life into stories you can share
• to remind yourself/your mother how feisty/loving/fearless/gracious/funny she is/was
• to separate her experiences and perspectives from your own
• to bring to light the truth of what happened
• to document the times she lived in and the choices she made
• to acknowledge the legacy she gave you through her thoughts, words and deeds

Why Share her Story?

• it initiates and enriches family discussions
• it’s a great team building exercise
• if you don’t share your mother’s story we won’t have any stories about women and we will have to watch car chases in movies forever and ever

The Mother Taboo is strong. Many people hold an unconscious but powerful fear that if they say anything about their mothers, she and everyone in their family will suffer great shame. The result of this has been that throughout history women have led secret lives: undocumented, unrecognized, undervalued.

It has also resulted in many people realizing they never knew their mothers, never bothered to ask, or remember the details of her life. Without examination these women remain shadow figures whose only value is determined by how good they were at mothering.

We will never know the history of women until we start talking about our mothers. Some women were bad mothers, but lovely people. Some women got lost in their own lives. Some women were heroic without validation. All of these lives deserve to be acknowledged and remembered. Unlike in our mothers’ time, we no longer have an oral tradition: today, if stories do not get written down, they will be lost.

All stories contained in our Archive follow a single recipe – the facts of one woman’s life from beginning to end (or the present) where the writer is just a footnote. As narrow as you might find this recipe, there are many ways a story can be told within it (browse the Archive to see) and we have found the benefits outweigh any feeling of restriction.

• Write your mother’s story – where she was born, to whom, and what happened next – in less than 2000 words. The facts, ma’am, just the facts.
• Put in all the names and dates you can remember.
• Try to follow the sequence of events that happened in her life, the milestones, what she thought of them, and the choices she made.
• Remember: keep the spotlight on mom. This is not a story about you, or dad, or the town, or the times. If you describe an event, what did mom think about it? What was she doing there?
• We found it best to go fast, just splat everything you remember on the page, and then hone it to under 2000 words (that’s about 4 pages).
• Remember: this is not the definitive statement on your mother. It does not need to be perfect, well rounded or objective. This is your story of her.
• After you’ve finished your first draft, if you discover there are things you don’t know, ask someone. This assignment is a great excuse to ask questions you never knew needed to be answered. Or you can write your questions into your story. However be respectful of your voice, your perspective.
• Respect the word count: it forces you to consider what’s most important. (If you submit your story to the Archive and it’s more than 2000 words we will send it back).

Once you’ve finished your story to the best of your ability, read it to someone – a friend, your family, your group.

If you need to write your story again, go ahead.

If you like your story and want to submit it to our Archive, go to Submissions .

If this feels too daunting or you need more encouragement, check out the questions and writing prompts in Writing Women’s History or one of our workshops.

All you need to write your mother’s story is the assignment and a deadline. You have 2 weeks to write.  Go.

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(From an essay first published in the January 1967 issue of Shufu to seikatsu (Homemaker's Life), a Japanese women's magazine 1 )

My mother, whose name is Ichi, was born in the twenty-eighth year of the Meiji era (1895) and hence is now close to eighty. She lives a quiet life in the suburbs of Tokyo.

She raised eight children of her own and adopted and raised two other children from outside. Now that her sons have families of their own and her only daughter has also married, she can boast a total of thirteen grandchildren.

She is a very simple woman without any education, but she succeeded in raising all of her children in good health. It always pleases me to think that, in its own way, her Iife represents a victorious one.

Her life has by no means been entirely happy, at least in her early years. My father Nenokichi, who died in 1956, was so hardheaded and obstinate that he was known among his relatives and neighbors as "Mr. Stubborn." I am certain it must have required enormous patience on my mother's part to have stuck with him until the end of his life.

When I was a child our home was at Omori on the edge of the bay in the southern part of Tokyo. My mother did her share of the work growing and gathering nori --laboring in a way that it would be difficult for an ordinary city housewife of today to imagine. Even now I can picture her, a little woman, in the dead of winter getting up before the dawn and working away until late in the evening, not even stopping to rest when she had caught a cold.

As far as the education of her children was concerned, she didn't seem to have any special ambitions. I never remember her saying a single word that would incite us to dream of success in the future or make us feel that the acquiring of degrees and formal education was an important or desirable thing.

For all her lack of pretension, I do recall her cautioning us again and again never to tell lies or do anything to cause trouble to other people. I am grateful to her that she did, for once I got out into the world I realized that these after all were the most important things for us to have learned.

A woman who never put on airs of any kind, her whole happiness lay in seeing her children grow up in good health, and she was willing to do any amount of work to achieve that goal. That's the kind of mother she was; I can't imagine any other kind that I would rather have.

During those years of nightmare and tragedy during the Pacific War, our family suffered the same as everyone else. My four elder brothers, who had just grown to maturity and reached the age where they could relieve my mother of some of the work, were one after another called up for military service, summoned, it was said, for the sake of the Emperor and the sake of the nation. My mother, true to the spirit demanded of the mothers of a nation at war, never shed a single tear. She sent each of her sons off to foreign lands with a smile on her face. I wonder, though, what was in her heart at that time.

One thing in particular I admired about my mother was the fact that in spite of the large number of children she had to cope with, she was always completely fair in her treatment of them. In everything, from the dividing up of food to the settling of quarrels, she showed fairness and impartiality. Intervening in the numerous fights that arose among us children, she would always take care to determine just who was in the right and who wasn't, and would settle the matter in a way that left everyone satisfied. She was in fact a highly skilled judge and arbitrator. Since I was the weakest and most sickly among all the boys, I naturally caused her the most care and worry. After the war, when I was going to school at night, she would always wait up for me no matter how late I came home. Then she would heat up a bowl of noodles for me saying, "I'll bet you had a hard day!" In that one sentence which she would repeat over and over, I could sense the boundless tenderness of a mother's love.

No matter how old I get, she still treats me like a child.

1 Ikeda, Daisaku. 1979. "A Mother's Love," Glass Children , pp. 75-79. Tokyo-New York-San Francisco: Kodansha International Ltd.

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• Death Announcements

12 Sample Obituaries for Mothers & Grandmothers

Updated 04/25/2024

Published 11/15/2019

Kate Wight, BA in English

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

It hurts to lose any loved one. However, losing a maternal figure can be especially difficult. One of the best ways to repay your mother or grandmothe r for their care is to honor them with a well-written obituary. 

These brief memorials not only reflect how we feel about our lost loved ones. They also help us express some of our deepest-held beliefs about death, dying, and the value of life.  

Is it time for you to write an obituary for your mother or grandmother? Here are some examples of how you can memorialize these beloved maternal figures. 

Tip: Obituaries aren't just for newspapers anymore. You can also use this page to help you craft an obituary for an online memorial page dedicated to a beloved mother.

Jump ahead to these sections:

Sample obituaries for mothers and grandmothers, steps for writing an obituary for a mother or grandmother, where can you post your mother or grandmother’s obituary.

Seeing samples of obituaries for a mother can help you craft your own. Here are some samples of obituaries for a mother or grandmother.

For a stay-at-home mom

On October 6, 2019, Sarah James passed away peacefully at age 87 after a brief illness. Sarah was the biological mother of two children. However, many people considered Sarah their surrogate mother.

She cared deeply for her family and neighbors. She did this not out of obligation, but because of who she was. She was always the first to offer help. She regularly brought meals to the homes of sick neighbors. And she always ensured that every child who crossed her threshold was safe, healthy, and happy.

Sarah is survived by her daughter, Elizabeth Scott, her son, Connor James, and four grandchildren. She was predeceased by her husband Robert.

On November 1, 2019, Dahlia Reese got her wings and went to walk with the angels. She was 37 years old.

Born in Nashville, Tennessee, Dahlia didn’t share the dream of stardom that brought so many people to her hometown. Her dream was to get married and have children. She was more than happy to be the central figure in the lives of her children. 

Anyone who knew them knew that she was a star in their eyes, and that’s all that ever mattered to her.

Dahlia is survived by daughter Alice, son Jason, and husband Mark. A visitation will be held at Spencer and Sons Funeral Home on 1357 Main St. from 10 am to 12 pm. It will be followed by a burial service.

Share your end-of-life wishes— including your obituary preferences— with your loved ones instantly.

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For a mom who had a long career

Lilly St. Claire of Santa Monica, CA passed peacefully away in her sleep on October 15, 2019. She was 70 years old. 

A lifelong philanthropist, Lilly began raising money for children’s charities after her daughter was diagnosed with severe allergies. She raised over a million dollars for the Santa Monica Children’s Hospital. Because of her zeal for fundraising, countless children’s lives were saved.

Lilly is predeceased by her daughter Chloe and her husband Paolo. She asked that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Santa Monica Children’s Hospital.

Amanda Jones was known by many names. A professional romance novelist, she wrote books under a half dozen pseudonyms. But no matter how successful she was, she always said her favorite name was Mom.

Amanda’s career started almost by accident. She responded to a magazine ad looking for ghostwriters to pen short stories. Her writing style caught an editor’s eye. Soon they began collaborating on a series of books. 

Amanda had endless ideas and often worked on several manuscripts at a time. She was so prolific that she had to take on many pen names so she wouldn’t inundate the market. What she appreciated most about her career was the flexibility it gave her. Her favorite part of the day was when her kids got home from school.

Amanda is survived by her daughters Lauren, Rebecca, and Norah. They will share plans for a Celebration of Life ceremony at a future date.

For a mom with many children and grandchildren

On October 21, 2019, Frances Hill passed away peacefully in her sleep. She was 101 years old. A lifelong Nebraska native, Frances was well-loved in her small town. Frances was the mother of twelve children. 

Despite her large family, Frances always made time for everyone. She always provided support and love for her family. She and her husband Richard worked tirelessly to provide opportunities for their kids. She would proudly boast about all twelve of her children graduating from high school. 

Frances was predeceased by her husband of 80 years William Hill, and by her son Richard. She is survived by her eleven children, 26 grandchildren, and 14 great-grandchildren.

Roberta Stevens passed away on November 1, 2019, after a brief illness. She was 56 years old. Roberta was the proud mother of 8 children. Four of her children were biological. In addition, she adopted her 4 nieces and nephews after the death of her sister Rachelle. Roberta’s greatest love was her family. And all her children were proud to call her mom.

Roberta is survived by her husband Thomas, her eight children, and three great-grandchildren. They invite you to join them for a homegoing service. The service will be this Saturday at 10 am at the Mount Zion Progressive Missionary Baptist Church on 2468 Main St. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the American Cancer Society.

For a mom who died unexpectedly

On November 2, 2019, Kelly Ann Clark lost her life in a tragic car accident. She was just 26 years old.

Kelly loved children, which was a large part of why she chose to become a teacher. Helping young people discover a passion for learning was her true joy in life. Last year, she became a mother for the first time. Kelly would always say that the birth of her daughter, Stacey, was the best moment of her life.  

While Kelly’s family grieves her loss, they are choosing to remember her in a way that honors her spirit. Her parents John and Sally and her husband Antonio invite the community to join them in a Celebration of Life Ceremony. It will take place at St. Ignatius Funeral Home this Sunday at 2 pm.

Some people only walk this earth for a short time. Their departure reminds us that angels are watching over us. Last week, Farrah Smythe rejoined her heavenly family and gained her wings.

Farrah was a compassionate spirit whose passion was caring for others. She volunteered at a soup kitchen and worked as a nurse in free clinics. She did all this while caring for her two young daughters.

Farrah is survived by her father Jordan and daughters Charity and Faith. Her funeral will be a private ceremony for family members. Her father asks that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to a domestic violence shelter in her memory.

For a mom who died after a long illness

Eva Marie Crawford left this earthly realm on October 7, 2019, after a long battle with metastatic breast cancer. She was 46 years old.

It would be wrong to say that Eva lost her battle because she never stopped fighting. No matter how sick she was, she was always determined. When anyone else would have broken, Eva stayed strong. Through her, we know what resilience and perseverance truly look like. There was no quit in Eva. Just because she is no longer here, it doesn’t mean she lost her fight. 

Eva is survived by her husband Geoff and their daughter Matilda. They invite you to join them for a memorial service at Miller and Daughters Funeral Home on Wednesday at 7 pm. All are welcome. Her ashes will be scattered at a future date.

Margaret Kent passed away on November 6, 2019, due to complications from lupus. She was 51 years old.

Margaret - or Peggy, as she was known to friends -  was a beloved member of the Fruitvale community. Peggy was the longtime Fruitvale Public Library’s Head Librarian. In this role, she interacted with almost every family in the community. She created incredible programs for her small town. Many of these programs would have been major feats in a large city. But her passion for serving led her to do monumental things with limited resources.

Though Peggy’s health was failing for years, few people knew the extent to which she struggled. Her joy for life and indomitable spirit kept her pushing through the pain.

Peggy is survived by her son Jack and granddaughter Samantha. Her family asks that in lieu of flowers donations be made to the Lupus Foundation of America.

For a mom who was a widow

Gracie Kellerman passed away on October 4th, 2019 after a brief illness. She was 84 years old.

Grace entered the workforce after being widowed at a young age. She worked as a secretary while raising her son. She played the role of mother and father in a time when that wasn’t common. Despite these struggles, she always provided a loving and warm home for her son.

Gracie never remarried after the death of her husband Wayne, who predeceased her by 55 years. She is survived by her son Bobby and her granddaughters Carrie and Diane.

Marie Louise Ryerson succumbed to pneumonia on November 3rd, 2019. She was 68 years old.

Marie was a fixture in the sleepy hamlet of Devon. Known for her shop that sold new and used books, she was rarely without a book in hand. She had an encyclopedic knowledge of her inventory. And despite having no discernible filing system, could always locate the right book.

While Marie remained active in her retirement, the loss of her husband Walt last year was a blow. Her family grieves her loss, but they take comfort knowing that Walt and Marie are together again. They are survived by their daughter Jeanette, son Cody, and seven grandchildren.

If you’ve never written an obituary before, it may seem like an insurmountable task. We’ve put together this step-by-step guide to help you navigate the process of writing an obituary for a mother or grandmother.

Step 1: Gather any information you may need

Certain pieces of biographical information are generally expected to be included in an obituary. Making sure you know this information before you start can help the writing process go more smoothly.

Here is a brief list of the information you should collect ahead of time:

• The full name of the deceased. If the deceased preferred to go by a particular nickname (like Betty instead of Elizabeth), you can add that parenthetically after their full name and continue using the nickname throughout the rest of the obituary. If the deceased changed their name after marriage, you could also include their original last name. If the deceased was a transgender individual, the best practice is only to use their chosen name and not their birth name
• The age of the deceased
• The deceased’s date and place of birth
• The deceased’s date and place of death
• Key places where the deceased resided throughout their lives
• A list of surviving relatives. Many people also include the names of parents, siblings, or spouses that passed away previously and list them as “predeceased”
• If the funeral is open to the public, provide details about the funeral service, including the date, time, and location. If there are special details, like a wake or viewing , it's also good to include them, as well. If it’s a private funeral service , you can indicate that and withhold the specific details

You can also include the cause of death, although this is optional. Many families choose to omit this information, so it’s fine to do so if the family doesn’t wish to broadcast it .

Step 2:  Create a soothing space to write

It can be difficult to write an obituary when you’re in mourning and feeling pressed for time. Take a few moments to set up a space that will foster creativity. This may include lighting a candle, playing music, or brewing a mug of chamomile tea to sip as you write.

Step 3: Write the obituary 

Craft an obituary that includes the information listed above. Many people also include more personal details about the deceased to make it feel more sincere and heartfelt. You’re not just summing up the minutiae of a person’s life - you’re also telling the story of who they were and what they meant to the people who loved them. We’ve put together some samples below that you can reference. 

Step 4: Edit the obituary

An obituary is meant to record and memorialize a person’s life and accomplishments, so accuracy is key. Take the time to verify that all the details are correct. If the deceased was a doctor, make sure she’s listed as “Dr.” and not “Mrs.”. If you include their alma mater, make sure to get the name of the school right . If possible, have another trusted friend or family member read it over for mistakes and get their input. 

Once you’ve written an obituary, you’ll need to publish it and share it with the world. There are several places where you can post an obituary - here are your best options:

Online memorial site

Now that the internet is so prevalent, it’s easier than ever to post an obituary where anyone can see it. When creating an online memorial website, you can post an obituary, share funeral details, and more. If the family has decided to accept donations to a charity in lieu of flowers, this is a great place to post that information. 

You can also allow friends and family members of the deceased to leave condolences or share stories about their late loved ones. This will enable people worldwide to come together in their grief.

Cake has set up a service that helps people set up beautiful memorial websites in honor of their late loved ones. It’s simple and intuitive to use, making it more accessible to even the least tech-savvy people. Best of all, it’s completely free.  

Funeral home website

Many funeral homes offer an option that lets you post online obituaries on their websites. Most of the time, you can just email a copy of the obituary along with photos of the deceased. They’ll typically handle the process of uploading this material . 

Funeral home websites also often have an online guest book where people can express their sympathy and support. 

For over 250 years, newspapers across America have published obituaries honoring people who have passed away. Submitting an obituary to your local newspaper can help notify the community at large of a recent death. 

There is typically a cost associated with printing an obituary in a newspaper. Most newspapers that require payment for this service charge by the word. If you’re on a tight budget, consider submitting an abridged version of the obituary for publication and post the full text online. 

Social media

It’s often easy for someone to miss an online obituary if they aren't close with the deceased's family. Want to reach more people? Send the completed obituary to other friends and family members and ask if they'd like to post it on any social media platforms they frequent. 

Facebook has an option to memorialize Facebook pages after someone has passed away, so people can connect by sharing memories of their loved ones. Once you've gone through the process of memorializing a Facebook page, you can post the obituary there for all of your loved one’s online friends to see. 

Reflecting on Your Mother's Life

It can be hard to find the right words to pay tribute to the woman or women who raised and cared for you. But just like they tucked you in and told you bedtime stories, you have the opportunity to tell their story. Writing an obituary is the perfect way to pay tribute to someone who always did their best for you.

If you need more help planning your mother's funeral, read our guide on how to write a eulogy for Mom , funeral poems for Mom , and the best funeral songs for Mom .

• Moses, Rae E., and Giana D. Marelli. "Obituaries and the Discursive Construction of Dying and Living." Proceedings of the Eleventh Annual Symposium About Language and Society. April 11, 2004. https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=4a2275e67dc105d0f58c93fe19c20fd5adb5df86 .

Categories:

• Loss Of Mother

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Moms come in all shapes and sizes. NPR readers share the moms who shaped them most

Suzanne Nuyen

This month, we asked NPR readers to tell us about the mother figures in their lives. These are some of the women that shaped readers' lives most. Janet Smith, Catherine Ha, Abeba Aberham, Patty Duffy and Paula Recchia hide caption

This month, we asked NPR readers to tell us about the mother figures in their lives. These are some of the women that shaped readers' lives most.

Many Americans are honoring the moms in their lives on Sunday for Mother's Day. For others, the holiday can be difficult. Some may be grieving a mother they've lost. Some might not have a relationship with their mother. And some may have never known who their mom was.

Mother figures can come in all shapes and sizes. We asked NPR readers to share stories about the influential mother figures in their lives. You shared stories of the mothers — biological and adoptive — who shaped you. But you also shared stories of aunts, grandmothers and neighbors who stepped in to fill that role. These are some of the stories that stood out the most.

This story first appeared in the Up First newsletter. Subscribe here so you don't miss the next one. You'll get the news you need to start your day, plus a little fun every weekday and Sundays.

Responses have been edited for length and clarity.

The moms who shaped us

Rebecca Arthur and her mom, Sara Byrd. Rebecca Arthur hide caption

Rebecca Arthur and her mom, Sara Byrd.

This Mother's Day is particularly difficult for Lee Sider. The 55-year-old lost her mom a few weeks ago. "This grief is still new to me, so this Sunday will be hard," she said. "My goal is that when next April and May come around, I'll have the ability to reframe the season from one of loss and sadness to one of celebration. My mom would want it that way." Sider credits her mom for setting an example of what an independent, hardworking woman could achieve.

Rebecca Arthur of Buda, Texas, said her adoptive mother, Sara Byrd, was the "kindest, most fair person" she's ever known. Arthur was the first of four children Byrd adopted. She met her birth mother in 1993. "She was a beautiful lady, full of charm and warmth," she said. "But it made me realize the mother Sara was to me shaped my values and beliefs, and I loved and respected her even more." Arthur's mother taught her that "being a blood relative is not necessary to share the love equally with all children." The lesson was particularly important when Arthur became a stepmom to two girls, now 30 and 22.

Richard Howard of Centralia, Wash., has close relationships with his adoptive and biological moms. Because his adoption was an open one, he'd known his biological mother, Sheila, his whole life. He said he relates to her stories of her "wild party days" as a teenager, the growing up she did in her 20s and the career she developed in her 30s. His adoptive mother, Judy, was 41 when he came into her life. He thanked Judy for the sage advice she gave him growing up, about how to navigate his career and save for retirement. "Judy and Sheila are two of the most incredible people I could have ever asked for in my life," he said. "I have NEVER not felt loved. I have never gone without. I don't have enough life to give to repay them. Life is good because of them."

Influential in-laws

Several readers shared stories of the moms who came into their lives via current and ex-partners. Janet Smith of Fair Oaks, Calif., said her high school sweetheart's mom, Clarice "Weecie" Morris, taught her about unconditional love. She described herself as a "latchkey kid from kindergarten" onward. Her parents worked long hours and "made it clear that parents came first and children came after."

"Weecie was smart, well educated, did tons of volunteer work, and her back door was always unlocked and open to me at any time," Smith said. "She was available to listen and offer suggestions at any time, and she was always warm and supportive." Smith and Morris kept in touch even after she broke up with her high school boyfriend, and Morris even attended her wedding years later. "Nearly 50 years later, I still think of her warmly and wish I could tell her how much of a lifeline she offered me when I had no anchor."

Patty Duffy was shocked and devastated when her mother was diagnosed with ALS. "Mom was a great listener, gave sound advice, judged little, and let me make my own mistakes," she said. When her mom died, she said her mother-in-law, Rose, became her mom — though the bond didn't come easily. "Without reason, I felt it would be a sign of disloyalty to my mother if I allowed myself to become closer to Rose," she said. Duffy, from Grand Blanc, Mich., says a car conversation marked the moment the two became close. Her mom had died a few months earlier, and her mother-in-law shared the story of her own mother, who died when she was a teenager. "Both of us had teary eyes that day," Duffy said. "She didn't compare our situations with words, but I knew she understood that feeling of loss and emptiness. At that moment, I felt a closeness to her that never left."

Family steps up

Abeba Aberham's aunt Negiste. She took Aberham in when she was eight years old, after her father died when she was four. Abeba Aberham hide caption

Abeba Aberham's aunt Negiste. She took Aberham in when she was eight years old, after her father died when she was four.

When these readers' moms weren't able to take care of them, family members stepped in.

Abeba Aberham grew up in Ethiopia. Her father died when she was 4, and her young mother didn't have the means to take care of her. Her godmother stepped in to care for her until she was 8. That's when her aunt came looking for her in her small Ethiopian village during a time of violence between Ethiopia and Eritrea. She lived with her aunt in Eritrea and then Saudi Arabia, before eventually moving to Greece to stay with an uncle who was applying for refugee status in the U.S.

"Because of my aunt Negiste's love for her brother, she risked her life to look for me," Aberham said." That one selfless act has completely changed the trajectory of my life."

Paula Recchia with her grandparents on her college graduation. Paula Recchia hide caption

Paula Recchia with her grandparents on her college graduation.

Paula Recchia of Honolulu was 3 when her father died in a car accident. Her mother had difficulty caring for her and her siblings. Her grandparents built a house so they could all live together. "They provided the stability we needed," she said. "We recognize our lives would have been much different without them.

It takes a village

Esther was the sister of Janet Smith's mom's boyfriend when she was a teenager. She took Janet in and helped her finish high school. Janet Smith hide caption

Esther was the sister of Janet Smith's mom's boyfriend when she was a teenager. She took Janet in and helped her finish high school.

Sometimes the mothers in our lives were never officially moms at all. Some readers fondly remembered the community members who stepped up to care for them. Angela Conley of Fort Collins, Colo., said she grew up in a "very dysfunctional, abusive alcoholic family." After her parents separated, she moved around with her mother, mostly due to financial hardship. When her mom wanted to move during her last semester of junior year, she told her she couldn't do it. "My way out was my academic ability," she said. "I knew that to attend college, I needed some consistent time in one high school." Her mother's boyfriend at the time had a sister named Esther, who offered to let Conley stay with her.

"There are not enough words to describe how Esther shaped me as a person," Conley said. "She took this scared, lonely, abused young adult into her world and showed me what integrity, commitment, compassion and faith truly were. I am the mother I am today because of her."

Becoming a caretaker

Some readers have found their mother-daughter relationships flipped on their heads as they become caretakers for their moms. Mary Alice Padilla's mother, Elisa G. Saucedo, lived with her from 1977 until Saucedo's death from Alzheimer's, in 2004. Though Padilla, of Austin, Tex., was in her 40s when her mom was diagnosed, she said there were times she wanted to curl up and cry like a child. She said she had to tackle taking care of her mom "one day at a time, one foot after another."

"To this day, I can't believe I did all that," she said.

She remembered her mom before Alzheimer's as a vibrant, active woman who raised her and her siblings alone. "She provided for us on a small salary, and I never remembered feeling like I was missing anything," she said. She will always live in my heart. I know she's proud of me and is grateful for being a loving daughter. I feel her presence in everything I do."

Catherine Ha's mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's in 2018. Catherine Ha hide caption

Catherine Ha's mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's in 2018.

Catherine Ha's mom was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's in 2018 when she was in the beginning stages of her medical training. Despite learning about the nuances of brain physiology as a medical student, Ha said she found it hard to re-learn how to interact and communicate with her mother.

Ha, from Walnut, Calif., described her mom as a "reserved, yet calculating person" before her diagnosis. She worked long hours to support her family financially but still made sure that her family always had food on the table, "whether she'd cook her signature beef stew or pick up Vietnamese takeout from Little Saigon. Ha said her mother didn't necessarily show love in conventional ways, but she "was a provider."

Ha is now a resident physician pursuing a career in psychiatry. She says her mother's experiences with the stigmatization of mental illness in Vietnamese culture is part of the reason she became involved in community organizing and research-level efforts to examine mental health disparities of minority communities.

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The Autobiography of My Mother

Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 1996

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This is my first Mother's Day without my mom. Instead of being sad, I will celebrate her life.

• My mom died at age 91 on February 2024. 
• Instead of being sad that she's not here this Mother's Day I will celebrate her life. 
• I see my mom everywhere, especially when I look in the mirror. 

This Mother's Day is the first time in my 66 years of life that I have no mom. She sadly passed away at the age of 91 in February.

I used to feel bad on Mother's Day for friends who had lost theirs . Now I join them. But instead of being sad, I will channel my mother and happily remember her life, art and legacy.

I'm not one for visiting gravesites . I believe in memorializing people by keeping them alive in your heart, memories, actions and thoughts.

I see her everywhere

My mother continues to be with me. I often have conversations with her in my head. I share stories that she'd find funny. Or I tell her about deals I got. We both loved bargains and freebies .

I see my mom everywhere, especially when I look in the mirror. Everyone says I resemble her with my high cheekbones and light-colored eyes.

I have been rummaging through her closets and drawers for items to save to keep her close. There are so many pins and necklaces she made from broken watches and other found objects, including ping-pong balls covered in subway maps that became pop-art beads. Or fun patterned clothing she wore because my dad liked her in bright colors. And purses galore, including a quirky one shaped like a chicken.

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Need a missing button? She had hundreds to choose from. She upgraded most of her clothing with her beauties, replacing the cheaper ones they came with. She would offer to gift a set to anyone she met.

She was so original

She was a funky mom, which, as a teenager, often inspired eyeball rolls.

As a self-taught outsider artist, my mother's life was one giant treasure hunt. The walls of her apartment overflow with beautiful objects and her hand-made museum-quality creations. It's like a real-life "I Spy" book.

Inspired by 20th-century artist Joseph Cornell, she collected old ads, broken dolls, game pieces and rusty implements to create shadowboxes. Hers came with clever names, like "Rust in Peace" and "Mona Pizza." One with a collection of tiny doll shoes was called "No No Manolo".

Her credo was "Art speaks with no words." She found beauty in the ordinary and liked to say that you don't look for such objects, "they find you."

Her originality encouraged my sons, who fashioned a "Mr. Love Bug" collage from the innards of a broken radio when they were young. As adults, they collected bottle caps and other interesting detritus on their travels as gifts for a grandma they knew would appreciate it far more than any store-bought souvenir.

My mother was one of a kind. She could talk to billionaire Warren Buffet (and she did) or a taxi driver, with similar gusto.

She was my living thesaurus. If I needed a word for an article I was writing, I'd call and she plucked just the perfect one out of thin air.

She was always thinking of others. If the dessert was a delicious chocolatey treat at a fancy business dinner, she would ask the waiter for a piece to bring home for me. During the pandemic, she got out her phone book and called 100 people in it to see how they were doing.

I haven't found any secret notes to me, but I know how much I was loved. It was there in the hugs she gave me, the sweet caresses of my face even in her last days, telling me I was beautiful.

I joked that she put Pollyanna to shame. She always looked at life from a glass-half-full perspective, perpetually upbeat until recent politics depressed her and we suggested she stop watching so much TV news. In high school, when I left for a date, her parting piece of advice was always: "Sparkle." Something she did daily.

I will miss those little signs of love, her constant creativity and contagious sense of humor. Her greatest joy would be to see me happy and celebrating Mother's Day with my own sons. So, in her honor, I will wear bright colors, be positive and upbeat and always shine.

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Once, when I was in my preteens, my best friend and I wandered off at the local ice skating rink to browse the gift shop. We were gone for so long that my mother panicked and had our names called over the rink’s loudspeaker. When she eventually found us, I think she was just as angry as she was relieved, and I’ve never forgotten the look on her face.

Now, more than 20 years later, I watch my mother care for her own mother in stores, restaurants and the house with the same love and trepidation. My grandmother has dementia that has reached the stage where she doesn’t know who most of her relatives or friends are anymore. She needs to search for most words and isn’t always able to find them. She doesn’t know that her younger sister died last year. She disappears into certain rooms of my parents’ house for so long that the other day I asked my dad if we should check on her. He said not to worry, that she does this multiple times per day. Sure enough, she reappeared and sat back down in her recliner and then, about 15 minutes later, she wandered to another room again.

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For the past several years I’ve been watching my parents raise my grandmother. I always knew they were good parents — I had a wonderful childhood, something I really appreciated only in retrospect. But watching them now as they parent my grandmother — and I don’t know what other word to use to describe the way they feed her, clothe her, make sure she’s taking her medications, set up all her appointments — it hits me in a different way. I’m turning 36 this year and have no children. I’m almost certain I don’t want any, but it hasn’t escaped me that I’m reaching the point where I need to decide for sure.

I am also starting to realize that even if I don’t birth my own children, I will probably still end up parenting some day. Dementia is often hereditary. My grandmother’s father died from it, and we have no idea if my mother will inherit it. But if it’s not that, there will most likely be something else that brings about the role-switch for us that she is currently experiencing. I also can’t help but wonder, if I don’t have any children, who will be there to parent me at the end? Yet I’m not sure I can commit to the idea of having a child just so that I’ll have someone to take care of me when my own mother is no longer here.

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My mom and I are different in a lot of ways. She’s very outgoing and naturally friendly, which I am not; she remembers every birthday and every important date, whereas I forget something immediately if I don’t write it down. She grew up a tomboy and has played sports her entire life; I have been awarded more than one participation medal for my feeble athletic efforts. Sometimes we’ve struggled to find common ground. But now that I am well into adulthood, we have a relationship that, for the first time, lets us see each other on the same level. Parenting is at the center of both our lives right now, as I decide whether or not I want to become one, and she is thrust back into a role that I’m not sure she ever imagined returning to after my sister and I grew up. If anything, she was supposed to get a promotion from mother to grandmother.

“Mother” is certainly not her only identity, but I know that sometimes she must feel like it is. And I know that, despite how much she loves her mom, she will be ready for the next phase of her life once my grandmother passes. She is ready to fully inhabit the other identities that I saw once I was old enough to realize that she had a right to exist outside of me: traveler, hiker, friend, reader, wife, gardener, sister, aunt.

Taking care of an elderly parent comes with a lot of complicated feelings, and my mom has begun to talk about things that show me she’s thinking about how she’ll spend the rest of her own life. There are countries she wants to explore, but also everyday activities that are easy to take for granted when you aren’t responsible for someone else, such as wanting to join me on some of my regular morning walks on the beach.

For now, I watch my mother hold my grandma’s hand as she walks her down the street. She tucks my grandmother’s scarf into her jacket to make sure she’s warm enough, and I can see that my grandma feels safe, content and protected, even if everything else is confusing for her. I can only hope that, if and when our own roles reverse, I will be as good of a parent to my mom.

Jackie DesForges is a writer and artist in Los Angeles. @jackie__writes

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May 15, 2024

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Ask Amy: I’m annoyed at my mom’s dishonesty over financial support for my sister

Dear Amy: Several years back, my sister was in a pretty bad place. She was in her early 30s, still living at home, and didn’t have viable career plans. She desperately wanted to get married and have children, and none of this was working out for her, as she had very little self-confidence.

My mother works for my uncle. She has been quite successful. One day she asked me and my youngest sister if we would be OK if she hired my sister as an assistant to help build her some confidence. Of course, we both said yes, wanting what was best for her.

The plan worked well. My sister is now married with three beautiful kids and a gorgeous home. We are all very happy for her.

However, I recently ran into my uncle, who then offered me a job. I have no desire to work for him, but while I was turning him down he disclosed that my sister’s salary and bonuses were absolutely absurdly inflated.

More importantly, I became aware that my mother had lied to us about it. (My mother would go out of her way to bring up the nominal compensation my sister received.)

In this same conversation I also discovered how she paid for two years of my sister’s college before she quit school. I have paid for every cent of my own education.

I have no problem with my sister, but my mother’s secrecy and dishonesty bothers me. When I brought it up, she said that all situations are different, and she never intended to upset us.

She then told my sisters that I confronted her about it, and now my sister thinks I’m upset with her. What kind of meal is this: sour grapes or an actual beef?

— Dissed Sib

Dear Dissed: It can be challenging for parents to treat all siblings equally, because their needs can be quite different. One child might be a self-starting scholarship winner, while the other needs rehab.

Your mother paid for your sister’s education, and yet your sister dropped out of school. A poor investment. Your uncle greatly subsidized her by inflating her salary. Your mother’s gratuitous lie about advantages given to your sister has affected your relationships.

In my view, your mother should apologize to both you and your sister for even discussing her compensation (her compensation is not your business). But I hope she will convey to you: “Your needs are different, your paths have been different, and I’ve done my best to be supportive, according to my best judgment.”

I’m going to characterize your meal as beef braised with grapes. But I don’t think anyone could blame you for reacting the way you have. Now that you’ve discovered this, it’s time to clear the air with family members and move on.

Dear Amy: A wedding dilemma. My sister recently had a small wedding and all of our family members were involved and pitched in. I planned and paid for her shower, our mother made a beautiful wedding cake, and our uncle officiated (he is a pastor).

Additionally, we all gave them shower gifts and wedding gifts, including gifts of cash to be put toward their honeymoon (they had asked for this).

My sister and her new husband just sent an email to our immediate family, more or less berating us for not giving them more — or larger — gifts.

We are pretty shocked and don’t know how to react. We agreed to ask you before we respond.

— Shocked Sister

Dear Sister : From what you describe, it sounds as if your family should send this couple an invoice.

I suggest that one of your parents should respond in a neutral way, saying that they thought the wedding was beautiful and that they are sorry the couple is so dissatisfied. Then say, “Your demand is really surprising. What’s going on?”

I think it’s possible that this couple has gotten themselves into debt and are looking for relief. If so, they’ll have to be honest about this and find a way to discuss it in a much more appropriate way.

Dear Amy: I love your column and read it every day.

My husband taught me a great way to look at things: He said, “Things in this life are either my problem or your problem.”

I find that to be a good way to look at situations clearly.

Dear Natalie: I agree — but I also believe that in a family there is an additional category: Our problems.

Amy Dickinson

Amy Dickinson writes the syndicated advice column, “Ask Amy,” which is carried in over 150 newspapers and read by an estimated 22 million readers daily. Email [email protected].

After infertility, hearing 'Happy Mother's Day' is a welcome – and bittersweet – joy

Amy Riley remembers the time someone wished her a happy Mother's Day and she broke down in tears, right in the middle of a Wegman's supermarket.

"I found Mother's Day to be impossible," the Collingswood, New Jersey, woman said. She had been pregnant six times, but none of those pregnancies lasted. Motherhood, she worried, might never happen for her, and the realization and the reminders were painful.

A former board member of the Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Association , Riley finally became a mom to Betty Sue 4½ years ago and, after another nonviable pregnancy in 2020, she gave birth to twins Pearl and Lucy via in vitro fertilization nearly two years ago.

Riley is among many women nationwide who know firsthand the hope and heartbreak of fertility struggles − but who will be grateful on Sunday to celebrate with families they thought they might never have.

Riley, who says Mother's Day will probably be as joyfully chaotic as any other day, credits "IVF doctors who were willing to take a chance on science" to help make her family complete.

The day still brings up some complicated feelings. "I still feel very emotional about it, because I didn't think I could ever be a mom. I still find it a little hard."

Riley, a researcher with Population Media Center , understood the good intentions behind people telling her not to lose faith through her reproductive journey, but it didn't always bring comfort.

"People would say 'Be hopeful,' and I would think, this is such BS, but it's true," she said. "If you really want to be a parent, there are so many kids out there who need you. There are ways to do it. There is hope − it just may not be along the path you thought it would be."

He closed 'the gap of the dark years in between'

Stacy Schwab had her daughter, Kelsey, when she was young, and she desperately wanted to give her a sibling. She would tell Kelsey she'd be a big sister, then go into a spiral of depression and despair each time she lost a pregnancy − and, when she gave birth to a full-term stillborn boy she named Levon James, that pain seemed almost unbearable.

The losses "were heart-wrenching," she said. "I would see other moms with strollers and cry. People would say, 'But you have Kelsey,' and I wanted to say, 'Which of your children would you give back?' There was no offer of emotional support back then. I felt unseen and unvalued." Mother's Day brought memories of loss, and guilt over her grieving.

When Schwab, who lives in Buffalo, New York, got pregnant in 1999, she didn't tell anyone at first, worried she might again suffer a loss.

Soon, though, her son Cassidy was born, named for a song by her favorite band, The Grateful Dead:

What you are, and what you're meant to beSpeaks his name, though you were born to meBorn to meCassidy...

Blow the horn, and tap the tambourineClose the gap of the dark years in betweenYou and meCassidy ...

There were dark years in between for Schwab and both her children; she struggled with depression and substance abuse and escaped an abusive marriage. She tried to hide her pain from her daughter especially, until Kelsey, searching for mementos to create a Mother's Day gift, found old sonograms, clothing and a blanket.

"She came to me and said, 'I had another brother, didn't I?'" Schwab recalled. "It was a beautiful moment." Kelsey made ornaments for Schwab to honor Levon, and mother and daughter bonded anew.

Schwab is years into her recovery and tries to help others through her own harm-reduction and outreach; she calls her children "my best friends and my adult roommates" and said Mother's Day is "a glorious day."

An older mom, grateful to another mother

Tracy Bach Gillespie knew the man who had become her husband in high school, but the New Jersey couple didn't really connect until several years later.

After marrying in 2017, they wanted to start a family, but Gillespie soon realized, "Mentally, you think you're young, but your body says otherwise."

Fertility treatments, and bitter disappointment, would follow. "I peed on so many sticks," she remembered, but as she would approach her second trimester, she'd be told the pregnancy wasn't viable. Her husband thought they could adopt but also waited until she was at peace with the decision, too.

She threw herself into research, chose an adoption agency − and waited.

On Nov. 2, 2019, the Gillespies flew to Utah and had dinner with a pregnant young woman and her mother; the following day, the agency called them to the hospital because the woman had gone into labor. "We connected with her from the first Skype call, and when we met her, it was just such an easy, natural conversation," she said.

"I have a 4-year-old and I'm about to turn 50," Gillespie said. "I'm well aware of being the oldest mom in the group."

With that age comes experience, and Gillespie believes that has helped her be a better mother. She has maintained a relationship with her daughter's birth mother as well.

"I hate when people say someone 'gave a child up' for adoption," she said. "The love she had, the emotions she showed, the magnitude of it all, I'll never forget it. It makes her every bit a mother, too." The Gillespies send her a card and flowers each year for Mother's Day, and a short video with their daughter.

"I never want my daughter to think of her birth mother as someone who just gave her up," she said. "I want her to know that she was and is loved by her birth mother; I don't want her to ever question that. Her birth mother has a very special place in my heart. After all, she gave me the gift of motherhood."

'My son saved my life'

When Christine Burnette was a teenager, a medical diagnosis led her to believe she would never have children. Being young, she didn't really think much about it.

But two semesters into her college career, a family member who was struggling to raise his children asked her for help. She agreed to take custody of her 1-year-old cousin, a baby girl with colitis, asthma and other medical struggles.

"I didn't know what it would take to raise a child independently," she said. At just 19 years old, suddenly she had to consider day care, rent (moving out of her dorm and into her own place), reliable transportation. "All those things had to just happen, but I did it and I stayed in school."

She earned two degrees, got married and continued raising her cousin, but as her friends started having babies, she realized she, too, wanted a baby. Her sister who was in their native Camden, New Jersey, saw a pregnant woman she knew was living on the streets and addicted to drugs, so she approached the woman, asking whether she considered adoption. Burnette's sister got her food, made sure she was getting medical care and did her best to make sure she had a safe place to stay. Eventually, Burnette and her husband adopted the child to whom she gave birth.

Burnette, 37, who works for the New Jersey Department of Children and Families, fostered and later adopted another child, then had a baby through IVF in 2017 − and that pregnancy revealed Stage 3 ovarian cancer. She underwent treatment while caring for her newborn, who has Down syndrome.

"My son saved my life," she said, because doctors told her they probably would not have otherwise found her cancer until it was too late. She and her husband adopted a fourth child as well, bringing their family to seven people. Three of their five children have special needs.

Burnette celebrates Mother's Day differently from most: She buys her children presents. "I celebrate them, because if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be a mom."

Joking that she has "been momming so long, I don't know how to do anything else," Burnette said her life "is nothing like I thought it would be, but it's better than what I could have ever imagined."

'A beautiful, healing experience'

Megan Hanson is a co-founder of the Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Association, so even though she now has two children (one through surrogacy and one via her own pregnancy), she's fully aware of how painful Mother's Day can be for some women.

"I got there in the end, but it was not easy going for a long, long time," the Seattle resident said. After several pregnancy losses, including two via IVF, Hanson and her husband opted to have a child with the help of a surrogate. In 2021, they became the parents of a baby girl.

A year later, Hanson had a successful pregnancy and gave birth to a son.

"Having my daughter was a beautiful, healing experience," she said. She hadn't given up hope for her own pregnancy but still understands how difficult that can be for many women.

"We always hope. It's part of human nature, especially with people who've had recurrent loss," she said. "Everyone is different, but people want to hope – even if that hope is so fragile and feels so scary."

Mother's Day for many women she has worked with is "a big, personal sorrow," a reminder of what they don't have even as others celebrate. It's a feeling of "I'm happy for them but sad for myself," Hanson said. She advises women to put their own feelings first, feel free to withdraw for the day and to lean on their support systems for help.

For those who might have a loved one going through infertility, she said: "Acknowledge and let them know you’re there. There's nothing you can do to fix, it but let them know, 'I know this day might be hard for you and I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.' It doesn’t need to be more complicated than that."

Her own Mother's Day will be spent with her family, she said, but with her thoughts on women who have struggled as she did. "My whole behavior has shifted," she said. "I don't post pictures of my kids, because I remember how seeing those photos was so difficult for me."'

She's grateful, too, to her daughter's gestational carrier, the woman who helped her become a mother. "I have a beautiful, wonderful relationship with her," an unexpected surprise.

"I thought it would be transactional, but it's ended up being this wonderful friendship. I send her a Mother's Day card; I say thank you because she helped me get to this place. She's got her own child and she's a mother in her own right."

Contact Phaedra Trethan by email at [email protected], on X (formerly Twitter) @wordsbyphaedra, or on Threads @by_phaedra .

My Brother is a Hostage in Gaza. Our Mom Spent Mother’s Day Fighting For His Life.

E very morning, my mother hands me a piece of masking tape with a number written in Sharpie marking the days since Hamas took my brother Omer Neutra hostage. For more than 200 days, we have been living in a nightmare.

As I stick the tape to my t-shirt bearing Omer’s photo and the urgent call to “ Bring Omer Home Now! ” I leave home with the responsibility to fight for my brother’s life, to remind the world that there are still some 130 hostages from the Oct. 7 attack on Israel who are unaccounted for – eight of them American citizens, like Omer. After seven months in captivity as war rages in Gaza, they are running out of time. What they need is an immediate deal to set them free.

My mom Orna should have spent Mother’s Day with her two sons at home on Long Island, New York. Omer and I would have woken up early to make her pancakes. Instead, Omer turned 22 in captivity and our mom has spent every day since Oct. 7 campaigning for his life and every night sleepless with fear. She has traveled from New York to Washington to Israel and the Gaza border , giving speech after speech pleading for the hostages’ release, all while half her heart is held in captivity.

Born and raised in New York, my brother initially went to Israel for a gap year after high school, and then volunteered to serve in the Israel Defense Forces. He was serving near the Gaza border when he was taken hostage. Before this nightmare began, we spoke on the phone frequently, talking about the latest New York Knicks game and sharing inside jokes. We’d laugh until our ribs hurt. I wonder when was the last time Omer laughed.

We’ve heard from hundreds of Omer's friends who have reached out to us with stories, from a basketball teammate who accidentally injured my brother and told us Omer called him from the emergency room to reassure him he was forgiven, to a friend who went through a dark time and told us Omer saved his life by showing him he was not alone.

When Hamas took Omer, my world, my family’s world, and our community was shattered. He marked his birthday one week after the terrorist attacks, likely without even knowing what day it was. When my dad recently turned 60 and when Mother's Day came, there was nothing to celebrate. People keep telling us, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” We never could have imagined that seven months later, we’d still be waiting for Omer’s return.

I wonder if he eats and drinks enough to survive, or has seen the sun in seven months. I dream about his return almost every night. I never imagined a world in which my family was stumbling through media interviews , demonstrations and tearful meetings with politicians. But if we are to get Omer and the hostages home, we have no choice but to keep their case in front of the most influential people in the world, those who hold the keys to my brother’s freedom, and remind them about Omer and the other hostages.

The Biden Administration and members of Congress have reassured us they are doing everything they can to get my brother home. Unfortunately, it’s not enough. Omer and the remaining hostages are trapped at the center of one of the most complex geopolitical situations in human memory, but their freedom is long overdue. Everyone involved in negotiating my brother’s release, including the Israeli government, must remain focused on getting all the hostages back until Hamas agrees to a deal.

After awaiting my brother’s release for seven months, I have become a master of waiting. Omer has a gun to his head and a clock that is ticking. Each day, I convince myself that his return is imminent. How could I live otherwise? I can’t bear the thought of Omer suffering another day.

It’s time to bring my big brother – and all the hostages – home. It’s time to bring peace to all the thousands who want to end this crisis and hold their loved ones in their arms. It’s time for all grieving, worried mothers to have their children home.

Daniel Neutra is the younger brother of Omer Neutra, an American who was taken hostage on Oct. 7.

Copyright 2024 U.S. News & World Report

• Grand Rapids/Muskegon
• Saginaw/Bay City
• All Michigan

‘You took my baby from me’ mother tells man sentenced to life for fatal stabbing

• Updated: May. 16, 2024, 6:37 a.m. |
• Published: May. 16, 2024, 6:30 a.m.

• Nathan Clark | [email protected]

JACKSON COUNTY, MI – Jessica Perkins wiped away tears as she approached a courtroom podium Wednesday with her daughter, Jazimen Essex.

She placed a decorative blue urn on the prosecution’s table and then addressed Essex’s killer, Robert Wayne Annabel II.

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