divorce opinion essay

• Share full article

Advertisement

Supported by

Guest Essay

Divorce Can Be an Act of Radical Self-Love

By Lara Bazelon

Ms. Bazelon is a professor at the University of San Francisco School of Law and the author of the forthcoming book “Ambitious Like a Mother.”

I used to believe that divorce is a terrible thing, particularly when children are involved. Growing up, I absorbed cultural tropes about absent fathers in efficiency apartments, mothers struggling to support themselves, and awful stepparents and unwanted stepsiblings. To this day, divorce is portrayed as precarious and grim. Parents whose marriages break apart are made to feel they have failed catastrophically. Divorce is shameful, traumatic and Bad For The Kids .

But I’ve learned that divorce can also be an act of radical self-love that leaves the whole family better off. My divorce nearly seven years ago freed me from a relationship that was crushing my spirit. It freed my children, then 5 and 3, from growing up in a profoundly unhealthy environment.

There was no emotional or physical abuse in our home. There was no absence of love. I was in love with my husband when we got divorced. Part of me is in love with him still. I suspect that will always be the case. Even now, after everything, when he walks into the room my stomach drops the same way it does before the roller coaster comes down. I divorced my husband not because I didn’t love him. I divorced him because I loved myself more.

There are many reasons we did not make it. But the main one is that we had incompatible visions of our roles as partners and parents. Having children did not transform me. In fact, it didn’t change me much at all. I love our children beyond reason. I know I am lucky to have them.

But after I became a mother, I was still the same striving, work-obsessed, domestically challenged person I had always been. I made choice after choice to prioritize my career because I believed fervently in the importance of the work I was doing, providing legal representation to wrongfully convicted men and women . It gave me an identity, a purpose and the comfort of knowing I could support myself.

My ex-husband was not unreasonable in wanting me to change — not to give up working, but to stop chasing after bigger, harder projects. He works hard but not when he is at home. He rarely travels and actively engages with nearly every aspect of our children’s lives, no matter how mundane. I fell short of his standards. “You are not present” was a phrase I heard a lot. Sometimes it was literal: For years, I traveled frequently for work. Sometimes it was metaphorical: My mind consumed by a case or a piece of writing, I would retreat to an inner world that made it hard to focus on the people right in front of me.

Sometimes during the final months of my marriage, I wavered. Maybe if I quit my long-distance job and found a position closer to home even if I did not particularly care for it, we could hold on. Perhaps I could work part time, join the P.T.A. at my son’s school and start cooking dinner. I fervently wanted to save my marriage and give my children an intact family. And I had been taught that divorce was a terrible thing, to be avoided at all costs.

But deep inside, I knew that trying to force myself to subordinate my ambitions and always put our children first would have been impossible without lopping off a vital part of myself. I would picture myself, a few decades into the future, sitting next to my husband at our daughter’s wedding. One of the guests, well-meaning, would raise a glass to toast our own happy marriage — what footsteps the bride was following in! And there I would be, skinny and sunken in my sea-foam mother-of-the-bride dress, the smile on my face freezing the resentment beneath it, a third vodka tonic sweating in my hand. Our daughter would know the truth — that it had not been a happy marriage at all. She would know, and my son would know.

“We stayed together for the kids” is a common refrain reflecting an ingrained belief that anything is better than a “broken family.” To which I silently reply, you aren’t fooling anyone. Children know on an intuitive level what their parents are thinking and feeling. Long frosty silences, screaming matches and unrelenting tension between parents can inflict damage on the well-being of their children .

I have spent much of the pandemic interviewing working women who are diverse across race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, geography, class, age and profession for a book I am writing about ambitious mothers and the benefits to their children when they prioritize their careers.

Talking to the subset who are divorced, I found a common theme, even a sisterhood: Divorce is painful and heartbreaking. But it can also be liberating , pointing the way toward a different life that leaves everyone better off, including the children.

One 38-year-old newly single mother who works full time and attends graduate school at night told me with pride that for the first time, she is living with her 9-year-old in an apartment she picked out, decorated and paid for on her own.

“Everything is my choice and I am in charge,” she said, adding that her former husband is an involved co-parent. “The relationship changed, but no one disappeared.”

That has certainly been my family’s experience: We split custody and finances down the middle, and I try to keep my longest working hours to the days I am alone. My ex-husband and I make a point of spending time together with our children, having regular dinners, watching sports and going for bike rides as a foursome. We strive to be collaborative and cooperative, even when we aren’t getting along. Our parenting styles remain very different, but we do not snipe at or undermine each other. We bite our tongues.

Recently I asked my daughter, now 10, how she felt. She told me: “Some of my friends spend more time with their parents, but I have to give you a lot of credit because those kids are in two-parent families. Our criminal justice system is horrible and messed up, and you are trying to help it get fixed.” She added, “I want to have a big career and try to get somewhere and have an impact.”

I would say that I am the happiest divorced person I know, but there is stiff competition . Divorce can, of course, be a miserable and rancorous experience, and one that leaves one or both former partners financially or emotionally broken. But for unhappily married women who are able to support themselves and their children, breaking free can also be like plunging into a cold ocean: a shock to the system that is at once brutal and cleansing. They can emerge stronger and clearer-eyed. Their children benefit because happier mothers are better parents.

I no longer think of divorce as shameful or feel sorry for people who tell me that they have decided to end their marriages. There are many ways a family can be broken. Sometimes, the healthiest decision is to remove the cracking shell of the nuclear family before the shards embed themselves in the precious little people nestled inside. My divorce spared my children that pain and let me live the life I was meant to. I view that as an accomplishment.

Lara Bazelon is a professor at the University of San Francisco School of Law and the author of the forthcoming book “Ambitious Like A Mother.”

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

Follow The New York Times Opinion section on Facebook , Twitter (@NYTopinion) and Instagram .

By providing an email address. I agree to the Terms of Use and acknowledge that I have read the Privacy Policy .

Divorce should be an option

The House of Representatives committee on population and family relations approved the absolute divorce bill which allows it to proceed to plenary for debate. This is the closest we have come to finally allow people to have full freedom to decide on the course of their relationships. As a predominantly Catholic nation, this understandably will cause fierce arguments and culturally entrenched righteous indignation. However, as someone who works with families, let me offer some points on this issue.

If you as a couple do not want to consider divorce in your marriage, you don’t have to. Legalizing divorce does not threaten harmonious families. People who are happy and content within their marriages will not suddenly rush to get one just because it is available. If you worry that your spouse will divorce you the moment it becomes legal, then you have much more important things to worry about in your relationship. It can, however, save the lives of many victims of domestic violence (mostly women) and allow people to determine their own lives.

Not allowing divorce as a legal option is like not allowing emergency exits in a building. Imagine there’s a fire but the building owner didn’t put in emergency exits because he “does not believe in it” and that you were expected to keep managing the fire, not escape it. Imagine still a building infested with toxic mold but that you were not permitted to evacuate because others couldn’t fathom why you don’t have the willpower to tough it out. Most people hopefully will not need to use emergency exits in their lifetime. And you’ll be glad it’s there when you need it.

Divorce can also be a protective tool against domestic violence, which is the strongest reason why it should exist. In other countries, they found a significant reduction of spousal conflict and extreme partner violence once divorce was an accessible option. When you know that your spouse has legal rights to leave, you are disabused of the notion of your spouse as property and less likely to mistreat them. Domestic violence also takes up a significant portion of reasons for divorce, around 25-50 percent in other countries. By refusing to provide this option, you are condemning victims of domestic violence to a lifetime of hell. Not having access to options can also turn into desperation—leading some individuals to consider a lethal option.

Even without the threat of domestic violence, we should consider the natural course of intimate relationships. You can only realistically commit to a set of behaviors, not a set of feelings. You cannot genuinely promise to make someone happy. You can, however, promise to not have sex with anyone else (you can still break this promise, of course, but it is more than possible to keep). Feelings, by nature, are temporary. They can be lost and regained. They can strengthen and fade.

Love is both a feeling and an act. Love, as a feeling, can change. I do not know which Hallmark writer decided that love should be forever. The act of loving, however, is within your control and something you can choose to commit to. By accepting the nature of feelings, we must accept the possibility that we might lose the feeling of love for our spouse despite our best intentions. The act that follows this loss—whether it be active efforts to rekindle the lost feeling, redefining the marriage as platonic mutual respect, or acknowledging that the marriage is over—can still be done in a loving way. The best way to shield children from the harmful effects of separation or divorce is for both parents to commit to respecting each other and to still care for each other as co-parents. Ironically, couples who do acknowledge the wax and wane of romantic feeling are much more likely to stay together because they do not take each other for granted and make repeated intentions to stay. They also tend to be more generous and less calculative during separation and genuinely wishing each other happiness.

Divorce is not the killer of happy marriages. It is simply a life raft for people drowning in a marriage that’s already long dead. If you want to ensure the success of a marriage, we should be providing couples with resources and support to help them better adapt and not simply mandate them to stay together. If you love someone, you don’t chain them to you; them choosing to stay is a greater sense of emotional security than locking them in a divorce-less marriage.

[email protected]

Subscribe to our daily newsletter

Fearless views on the news

Disclaimer: Comments do not represent the views of INQUIRER.net. We reserve the right to exclude comments which are inconsistent with our editorial standards. FULL DISCLAIMER

© copyright 1997-2024 inquirer.net | all rights reserved.

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. By continuing, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. To find out more, please click this link.

Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about divorce can be challenging to write; read on to see our top essay examples and writing prompts to help you get started.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It can be a messy affair, especially if it includes children. Dividing the couple’s assets also often causes chaos when divorce proceedings are in session. 

Divorce also touches and considers religion and tradition. Therefore, laws are formed depending on the country’s history, culture, and belief system.

To help you choose what you want to talk about regarding this topic, here are examples you can read to get an idea of what kind of essay you want to write.

1. Divorce Should Be Legalized in the Philippines by Ernestine Montgomery

2. to divorce or not to divorce by mark ghantous, 3. what if you mess up by manis friedman, 4. divorce: a life-changing experience by writer louie, 5. divorce’s effects on early adult relationships by percy massey, 1. the major reasons for divorce, 2. why i support divorce, 3. my divorce experience, 4. how to avoid divorce, 5. divorce and its effects on my family, 6. the consequences of divorce, 7. divorce laws around the world.

“What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage… Divorce is a choice and we all should have the freedom to make choices… in cases where a union is more harmful than beneficial, a divorce can be benevolent and less hurtful way of severing ties with your partner.”

As the title suggests, Montgomery and his other colleagues discuss why the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country, needs to allow divorce. Then, to strengthen his argument, he mentions that Spain, the root of Christianity, and Italy, where the Vatican City is, administer divorce. 

He also mentions bills, relevant figures, and statistics to make his case in favor of divorce more compelling. Montgomery adds that people who want a divorce don’t necessarily mean they want to marry again, citing other motives such as abuse and marital failure.

“Divorce, being the final step in a detrimental marriage, brings upon the gruesome decision as to whether a married couple wishes to end that once made commitment they had for each other. As opposed to the present, divorce was rare in ancient times…”

Ghantous starts his essay with what divorce means, as not only an end of a commitment but also the termination of legal duties and other obligations of the couple to each other. He then talks about divorce in ancient times, when men had superior control over women and their children. He also mentions Caroline Norton, who fought with English family law that was clearly against women.

“So even though G‑d has rules,… laws,… divine commandments, when you sin, He tells you: ‘You messed up? Try again.’ That’s exactly how you should be married — by treating your spouse the way G‑d treats you. With that much mercy and compassion, that much kindness and consideration.”

Friedman’s essay discusses how the Torah sees marriage and divorce and explains it by recounting a scene with his daughters where they couldn’t follow a recipe. He includes good treatment and forgiveness necessary in spouses. But he also explains that God understands and doesn’t want people in a failed marriage to continue hurting. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment .

“Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary… I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage… My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn’t have to, and I knew the reasons.”

The author starts the essay by citing the famous marital promise: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” before going in-depth regarding the divorce rate among Americans. He further expounds on how common divorce is, including its legalities. Although divorce has established legal grounds, it doesn’t consider the emotional trauma it will cause, especially for children.

Louie recounts how his life changed when his dad moved out, listing why his parents divorced. He ends the essay by saying society is at fault for commercializing divorce as if it’s the only option.

“With divorce becoming more prevalent, many researchers have taken it upon themselves to explore many aspects of this topic such as evolving attitudes, what causes divorce, and how it effects the outcome of children’s lives.”

Massey examines the causes of divorce and how it impacts children’s well-being by citing many relevant research studies. Some of the things he mentions are the connection between the child’s mental health, behavioral issues, and future relationships. Another is the trauma a child can endure during the divorce proceedings.

He also mentions that some children who had a broken family put marriage on a pedestal. As a result, they do their best to create a better future family and treat their children better.

Top 7 Prompts on Essays About Divorce

After adding to your knowledge about the subject, you’re better prepared to write essays about divorce.

There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

If you want to make your piece stand out, you can include your personal experience, but only if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others. 

If you believe divorce offers a better life for all parties involved, list these benefits and explain them. Then, you can focus on a specific pro of legalizing divorce, such as getting out of an abusive relationship. 

If you want to write an essay to argue against the negative effects of divorce, here’s an excellent guide on how to write an argumentative essay .

This prompt is not only for anyone who has no or sole guardian. If you want to write about the experiences of a child raised by other people or who lives with a single parent, you can interview a friend or anyone willing to talk about their struggles and triumphs even if they didn’t have a set of parents.

Aside from reasons for divorce, you can talk about what makes these reasons more probable. Then, analyze what steps couples can take to avoid it. Such as taking couples’ therapy, weekly family get-together, etc. To make your essay more valuable, weigh in on what makes these tips effective.

Divorce is diverse and has varying effects. There are many elements to its results, and no two sets of factors are precisely the same for two families. 

If you have an intimate experience of how your immediate and extended family dynamic had been affected by divorce, narrate those affairs. Include what it made you and the others around you feel. You might also be interested in these essays about conflict .

This is a broad prompt, but you can narrow it down by focusing on an experience you or a close friend had. You can also interview someone closely related to a divorce case, such as a lawyer, reporter, or researcher. 

If you don’t have any experience with divorce, do not know anyone who had to go through it, or is more interested in its legal aspects, compiles different divorce laws for each country. You can even add a brief history for each law to make the readers understand how they came about.

Are you looking for other topics to write on? Check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

View all posts

• Entertainment
• Environment
• Information Science and Technology
• Social Issues

Home Essay Samples Life

Essay Samples on Divorce

Divorce is a complex and deeply personal process that involves the legal dissolution of a marriage. It marks the end of a once-promising union and triggers a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to relief and newfound independence. Understanding the intricacies of divorce and its effects is crucial when writing college essays about divorce.

How to Write College Essays About Divorce

When exploring the subject of divorce, it is important to delve into the factors that contribute to its occurrence and look at college essays about divorce examples. These can include communication issues, incompatibility, domestic abuse, financial strain, or even external factors such as societal expectations or cultural norms. Discussing these causes helps paint a comprehensive picture of the complexities surrounding divorce.

To provide a well-rounded perspective for an example of college essay about divorce, consider including statistics or research findings related to divorce rates, average durations of marriages, or common age groups affected by divorce. This data can help support your arguments and provide a factual foundation for your essay.

Additionally, it is crucial to examine the legal aspects of divorce. Different jurisdictions have specific laws and regulations governing the process, including property division, alimony, child custody, and visitation rights. Incorporating information about these legal frameworks can add depth to your essay and showcase a comprehensive understanding of divorce proceedings.

While divorce can be emotionally challenging, it also offers opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. Discuss the psychological and emotional impacts divorce can have on individuals, as well as strategies for coping and rebuilding one’s life after the end of a marriage.

Lastly, explore the societal implications of divorce. Analyze how divorce impacts the perception of marriage, family structures, and gender roles. Consider the evolving attitudes towards divorce in different cultures and how society supports or stigmatizes individuals going through this process in the divorce essay example.

Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

A broken family, characterized by divorce, separation, or strained relationships among family members, can have profound effects on individuals and society as a whole. This essay delves into the cause and effect of broken families, and examines the far-reaching consequences on emotional well-being, academic performance,...

Growing Up with Divorced Parents: Discussing the Topic of Divorce With Your Children

“Kids need parents not part-time visitors with a checkbook” how important it is to have to a male figure and a woman figure In your childhood? Understanding that your child’s growing stages could be affected because the child's parent doesn't want involvement with them. How...

Growing Up With Divorced Parents: The Impact of Divorce on the Children

Introduction Evidence suggests that children of divorced or separated parents have a higher tendency of being diagnosed with affective disorders such as depression, in comparison to children with parents who are still together. However, the effect size of this finding is weak. The reasons that...

The Effects Of Divorce On Children

Introduction: Divorces are common; unfortunately, the children are the victims of this decision. One out of every two marriages today end up in a divorce, and many divorced families include children. Parents who are getting divorced every now and then are stressed over the impact...

The Effects Of Divorce On Children In America

Introduction Every year, over a million American youngsters endure the separation of their parents. Separation makes hopeless mischief all included, yet most particularly to the kids. In spite of the fact that it may be appeared to profit a few people in some individual cases,...

Stressed out with your paper?

Consider using writing assistance:

• 100% unique papers
• 3 hrs deadline option

The Effects Of Divorce On Children And Young Adolescents

Introduction The Star Online recorded an alarming figure in 2015 – one divorce every 10 minutes in Malaysia! According to the latest statistics released the Department of Statistics Malaysia in 28 December 2018, there are about 50,000 divorce cases per year in 2016 and 2017....

The Causes Of Divorce That Lead To The Annulment

The purpose of this paper is to elaborate on the major causes of divorce, psychological effects and how to cope with it. An increase in amount of U.S. couples divorcing is growing. Statistics stated in the paper is proof. The lacks of communication, physical and...

• Marriage and Family

The Causes Of Divorce And The Ruined Marriages

Divorce is becoming more common in today's society. Webster defines divorce as an act of separation. For each marriage, the reasons of divorce vary. The main reasons for divorce are lack of commitment, lack of communication, financial problems and infidelity. A lack of commitment is...

• Divorce Rate

The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

Divorce among married couples is more popular than ever in today's day and age. Webster's specified divorce is the formal breakup of a relationship. Statistics show that the major causes of divorces are: infidelity, lack of communication, lack of commitment, and financial problems. A lack...

The Causes And Effects Of Divorce

In today’s world, we are encountering a variety of social problems. From the lack of healthcare, poverty, alcohol and drug abuse, crime, unemployment, and much more. Then, there are the type of social problems that society often faces behind closed doors. For instance, one of...

Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

Approximately 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in separation or divorce. As many understand, this disunion brings about change, oftentimes negative. The majority of households witness increased conflicts among family members, distance, and health-related issues. The increase in division among so many...

My Personal Opinion On Why Divorce Shouldn't Be Legalized

Healthy marriages are important for couples, mental and physical health. However, based on the 2019 American Psychological Association statistics, Divorce has affected 40 to 50% of the total number of married couples all over the globe and has become one of the most prominent contemporary...

Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

In this paper I will be addressing some common social problems a family faces. A social problem is an issue that influences a large number of individuals within a society. The social problems I will be discussing in this paper are divorce, violence, financial problems,...

• Infertility

Divorce Rates In Kenya And Means To Reduce Them

Introduction Family is the essential unit of human cooperation, accommodating both generational renewal and individual linkage to the bigger society as it has been for a huge number of years. We can therefore argue that Family is the most fundamental part of society. It is...

Divorce Process And Finances In Hennepin County

The divorce rate in Minnesota is 10% — one of the highest divorce rates in the country, government statistics reveal. Money is the leading cause of stress in relationships and has been found to be responsible for at least 21% of divorces. Married couples considering...

• Child Custody

Comparison of Cohabitation and Marriage: Advantages and Disadvantages

In our modern world, there are so many couples that are adapting to the idea of living together with their partners as an alternative to marriage or just to get a taste of how marriage is. Cohabitation and marriage are quite different in various ways...

• Cohabitation

Report on the Family Structure of the UK and Changes Within It

What are the different types of family in the UK and how common are they? Using statistical evidence discuss to what changes are occurring in the structure of families in Britain. The different types of family in the UK. Single person household It represents 29%...

Issues with Divorce in Roman Catholic Marriage

Divorce refers to putting an end to a matrimonial union, whereby, both couples may go separate ways. Christians use the Bible as a guideline when addressing issues of marriage (religiously recognized marital union) and Christian life, while in the union. In the new testament, the...

• Christian Marriage

Why Divorces Become More Frequent: Research Study

Pothen (2002), studied 200 divorced men and 200 divorced women. She found that husbands and wives had great expectations about their future partners before marriage, which were not fulfilled in marriage. Strains in their marital life started when these expectations did not meet reality. Majority...

Divorce and Its Rate: Literature Review

Brian, (2011) stated “Separation is linked with highly increased risk of so many psychological and social problems throughout the life span of a person. While experiencing the parental separation most of the family members specially children got rough reactions towards divorce during the process but...

• Literature Review

Problem of Divorce Rate in Canada and Its Effect on Children

Sadly, the world we live in today is made up of many problems and sad truths that seem to be growing faster than we can imagine, one in which we see most often in society today that is overlooked. This problem we face today is...

How Divorce Has Affected My Future Relationships

I did not grow up in a stereotypical family home with loving parents and siblings. At five years old, my parents had separated to get divorced. My mother received full custody. We moved to a neighboring city to remain close to my father. Although they...

• Family Relationships

Family and Marriage: The Rate and Percentage of Divorced

Family and marriage is a significant factor in the public arena today. A decent family structure can shape youngsters' lives as they change from youth to adulthood, anyway, a poor family structure could be the defeat of numerous kids in the present society. Numerous components...

A Smart Exit Strategy Before Initiating The Divorce Process

Of all the financially draining and time-consuming legal hassles you can possibly encounter in your lifetime, divorce is among the most difficult. Unfortunately, divorce is a cold reality that many couples must face when their idealistic marriage fantasies go wrong. However, the best thing you...

Divorce and Custody: Sources of Information That Can Support Your Case

Electronically stored Information is increasingly a focus in divorce and child custody cases. Discovered evidence can be used to support or refute legal claims including infidelity, income and spousal/child abuse or neglect. However, this evidence must be handled correctly or you risk having it rejected...

Causes of Divorce Cases in Malaysia and How to Avoid Them Increasing

There are a lot of divorce cases happened in Malaysia. According to Malay Mail. (2014, March 3). The divorce cases have dramatically increased in only eight years from 2004. In 2012, 56,760 separations were recorded, which is equivalent to a marriage separate every 10 minutes....

Parents' Divorce & Its Impact On Children

Divorce is portrayed as the authentic end of a marriage, anyway in its bona fide sense there is fundamentally more to it than essentially the complete of a relationship. Nowadays various social associations end in divorce, and shockingly the lion's share of them end at...

• Parent-Child Relationship

Some Hardships In Human Relations

For a great deal of untouchables who don't know there is a tremendous measure of reason that causes this tormented condition. Infer a 2006 review by DivorceMagazine.com that asked scrutinizes what had caused their parcel or separation, I found that unfaithfulness or extramarital issue is...

• Relationship

Examining Injustice in Alimony Laws on Examples of Divorce Cases in Quebec

In Canada, the first ever official divorce laws were adopted in 1960. Back then, marriage was the norm for couples. However, nowadays, couples tend not to get married and opt for common law unions. Despite this situation, spousal support laws haven’t been changed. This essay...

Best topics on Divorce

1. Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

2. Growing Up with Divorced Parents: Discussing the Topic of Divorce With Your Children

3. Growing Up With Divorced Parents: The Impact of Divorce on the Children

4. The Effects Of Divorce On Children

5. The Effects Of Divorce On Children In America

6. The Effects Of Divorce On Children And Young Adolescents

7. The Causes Of Divorce That Lead To The Annulment

8. The Causes Of Divorce And The Ruined Marriages

9. The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

10. The Causes And Effects Of Divorce

11. Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

12. My Personal Opinion On Why Divorce Shouldn’t Be Legalized

13. Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

14. Divorce Rates In Kenya And Means To Reduce Them

15. Divorce Process And Finances In Hennepin County

• Personality
• Perseverance
• Personal Experience

Need writing help?

You can always rely on us no matter what type of paper you need

*No hidden charges

100% Unique Essays

Absolutely Confidential

Money Back Guarantee

By clicking “Send Essay”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement. We will occasionally send you account related emails

You can also get a UNIQUE essay on this or any other topic

Thank you! We’ll contact you as soon as possible.

Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members Cause and Effect Essay

Introduction, impacts of divorce, how divorced spouses cope with the divorce.

Divorce has become a common aspect of our society. Current divorce statistics have been estimated to be 50% in America. This portrays a society where people are moving from a situation where family institutions were used as refugees and comfort zones to a one where they are viewed as a place of doom and suffering.

We cannot deny that divorce has devastating and far reaching effects than we are ready to admit. This paper looks into the impacts of divorce to the various members of the broken marriage, and how they try to live through it.

The effects of divorce are experienced by each and every member of the family regardless of who was at fault.

“The effects of divorce can change virtually every aspect of a person’s life including where a person lives, with whom they live with, their standard of living, their emotional happiness, their assets and liabilities, time spent with children and other family…” (eJustice 2002),

Effects of divorce to couples themselves

Even though the couple is the author of the outcome of the marriage, it does not affect them any less. The effects are on all aspects of life i.e., socially, financially, and psychologically.

Socially, individuals relations with the outside is influenced by the persons failed marriage. “Divorced individuals generally experience more social isolation and have smaller social networks than do married individuals” (Henley & Parsley, 2011).

This may result from self pity and feelings of inadequacy that may be developed by the individual in question. Further, there are societies where divorced people are viewed as failures and are allocated a lower social standing as compared to married people. In such traditional societies, divorced people and especially women are not allowed to remarry. So they may end up spending their lives in solitude and unhappy.

Moreover, even where it is completely allowed to remarry, “remarriages are less stable than first marriages…Therefore; divorce appears to influence future marital relationships, making them less stable and more vulnerable to dissolution” (Henley & Parsley, 2011).

Economically, a person’s normal life is disrupted and normally one of the couple may have to establish a home elsewhere, which requires funds. Further, divorce legal proceedings can be quite expensive, to hire lawyers and paying witnesses not to mention countless hours spent in courtrooms. In addition, the property accumulated during the subsistence of the marriage is ordinarily split up between the couple and these lowers the standards of living from both ends.

Sometimes, a couple may be unable to obtain judicial help in determining property ownership leaving weaker party, especially women, under the mercy of the other couple. This normally causes unfairness where the party refuses to divide the property in his possession fairy, not to mention hiding some of the property, leaving the other party financially starved.

Researchers have reached a conclusion that there is a disparity between the economic situation of women and that of men after divorce, with women generally being on the lower edge while men experiencing an economic upsurge (Braver and O’Connell 1998).

Psychologically, research has revealed that divorced people portray higher rates of anxiety and depression, low self-esteem and psychological instability, with those having more than one divorce experiences exhibiting more of these tendencies as compared to those with one.

Researchers has it that those who stay married, even though they were unhappy before, are likely to be happier five years later in the marriage as opposed to those who opted for divorce (Waite & Gallagher 2000, P. 148).

The psychological impact causes health implications to the couple. It has been shown that both spouses will greatly suffer a decline in mental health but this may affect women more than men. Further, a couple diagnosed with a terminal illness is more likely to recover within the marriage as compared to a divorced individual (Goodwin et al 1987, P. 3125-3130).

This shows that there are deeper issues associated with divorce besides the financial hurdles and social effects.

Impacts to Children

Divorce has profound implications on the children of the marriage. This is regardless of whether they are adult children or otherwise. Study has shown that divorce has serious implications on development of children and affects their future relationships. These effects may be discussed in terms of what the child has to lose resulting from the divorce. These may include such things as economic loss, lack of parental care and other social disruptions.

Economically, since children are moving from an institution where there are two breadwinners to, in most cases, one-breadwinner family it is normal that the financial status will have to be adjusted to suite the new family setting. This will mean cutting costs to incorporate all the needs of the family to the now constrained family budget.

In extreme cases, where the single parent is unemployed and without a stable source of income, the children may be forced to survive without basic necessities. It has been established that, “[children] in single-parent families have less than one-third the median per capita income of kids from two-parent families, and half of them fall below the poverty line in any given year, compared with 10% of their counterparts in intact families” (Magnet 1992, p 43)

Parental factor has various aspects to it. First of all, divorced parents will no longer live together. The children who were used to being with both parents will have to live with one of them. Adjusting to these new casual relationships between parents may pose problems to most children.

Mostly the children grow up without having the fatherly input in their lives. For children below 5 years, “sleep disturbances and an exacerbated fear of separation from the custodial parent are common. There is usually a great deal of yearning for the non-custodial parent” (Eleoff 2003).

It was concluded that youth of around 20 years still carry around with them painful memories ten years after their parents’ divorce. Billings and Emery (2000) among the things that still weigh down on them is the loss of the relationship with their fathers.

Further, the parent bestowed with the custody of the children may not be very effective on his/her own on the over burdened parental obligation. It could be the ordinary imperfections of a parent or it could have arisen from the after-effects of the divorce process. As argued out before, the psychological stability of the parent may be in question, and this is transmitted to the children, albeit unknowingly.

“In the wake of a divorce, most custodial mothers exhibit varying degrees of disorganization, anger, decreased expectations for appropriate social behavior of their children, and a reduction of the ability of parents to separate the child’s needs and actions from those of the adult” (Eleoff 2003).

The other issue on parents is the fact that, after divorce, parents will remarry and the children will have a different set of parents, step parents. Obviously, the step family will not function as naturally as a normal family does.

More often than not, there will be conflicts of loyalties between step parent and biological parent for the child. “Evidence suggests that each change in parenting arrangements represents a risk factor, thus increasing the likelihood that a child will react negatively to their post-divorce environment”(Demo & Supple 2011).

Social disruptions involve such things as moving houses, changing schools and having adapting new and very different surrounding for the child. Sometimes, it means that the new surroundings are worse off than the one the child is used to. This may be due to financial strains on the single parent.

Study has shown that, constant moving for children of single parent families, increased school drop-outs and chances of unplanned pregnancies. (Crowder and Teachman 2004)

When these children move from their original home and schools, they lose their friends and are forced to start all over again in life, a situation that most children have a problem adjusting to.

Overall, children experience such internal and emotional conflicts as low self-esteem, unfamiliarity to the new surroundings and set of parents, feelings of rejection especially from the parent who is not living with them and feelings of hopelessness and insecurity.

Despite the devastating impacts of a divorce, all the members have to find a way of surviving the divorce. Some of the factors that help family members cope may be economical, social or personal factors.

Personal factors have to do with the personal attributes that are specific to an individual. They include such matters as age, level of education, financial security and psychological stability. Research shows that older people are less likely to cope with a divorce as compared to younger people owing to their impaired chances of remarriage and due the comfort they have established in the marriage all those years.

Also, a person who is financially stable will be more likely to adjust to new family set-up as opposed to people who are unemployed. This is made stronger by the now widely adopted principle of property settlement between spouses, which requires a 50-50 property division. This ensures that both spouses’ living standards are least affected by the divorce.

Also, parties will seek to establish new social networks for support. Some spouses will start new romantic relationships or even remarry so as to forget their former spouses as well as help in the hardships of day to day living.

Divorce is a horrible ordeal to go through. The post-divorce experiences are beyond devastation, both to the members of the family involved and to the society at large. Parties should try to resolve their disputes before rushing for divorce and it should only be a last resort.

Many studies have been done on the level divorce with statistics showing that they are currently very high. However, there hasn’t been conclusive research on what are the causes of this rapidly increasing pandemic or even on how it could be stopped.

Therefore, future studies should concentrate more on how we can combine efforts to reduce the occurrence of more divorces. It is a duty and responsibility of each and every member of the society to uphold and protect the sanctity of the institution of the marriage.

Braver, S. L and O’Connell, D. (1998) Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths. New York: Putnam.

Billings, L & Emery, R. E. (2000). Distress among young adults in divorced families: Journal of Family Psychology , 14, 671-687.

Crowder, K & Teachman, J. (2004). Do residential conditions explain the relationship between living arrangements and adolescent behavior? Journal of Marriage and Family , 66, 721-738.

Demo,H.D& Supple,A.J. (2011). Divorce – Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents: Effects On Children : Retrieved from https://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html#ixzz1RKIAMjFY

Eleoff, S. (2003). An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescent: The Pennsylvania, State University College of Medicine eJustice.

Goodwin, S et al. (1987). The Effect of Marital Status on Stage, Treatment, and Survival of Cancer Patients; Journal of the American Medical Association 258: 3125-3130.

Henley, K & Pasley, K. (2011). Divorce- Effects On Children, Effects On Couples, Effects On Parents: Effects on couples. Retrieved from https://family.jrank.org/pages/413/Divorce.html#ixzz1RKIAMjFY

Magnet, M. (1992). The American Family : Fortune 10 Aug: 42-47.

Waite, L & Gallagher, M. ( 2000). The Case for Marriage. New York: Doubleday p.148.

• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2019, March 20). Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-and-its-impacts-on-family-members/

"Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members." IvyPanda , 20 Mar. 2019, ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-and-its-impacts-on-family-members/.

IvyPanda . (2019) 'Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members'. 20 March.

IvyPanda . 2019. "Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members." March 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-and-its-impacts-on-family-members/.

1. IvyPanda . "Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members." March 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-and-its-impacts-on-family-members/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Divorce and its Impacts on Family Members." March 20, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-and-its-impacts-on-family-members/.

• Causes and Effects of Divorce
• Divorce and Its Effects on Women
• Impact of Divorced Grandparents on Grandchildren
• Concepts of Gay Marriage
• Same-sex Relations and Americans’ Definitions of Family
• How Families Manage Work And Family Life
• Divorce Reform: "Gender and Families" by Scott Coltrane and Michele Adams
• Factors Influencing Perception on Same-sex marriage in the American Society

Opinion Women are divorcing — and finally finding happiness

Lyz Lenz writes the Substack “Men Yell at Me” and is the author of multiple books, including “ This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life ,” from which this essay is adapted.

When we talk about the beginning of the end of a marriage, there is rarely just one moment that breaks everything apart. There are often several stressors, some small, some large, all building to the day that everything shatters.

In spring 2016 — 11 years into my marriage — I received an email from a publisher who’d read an article I’d written on politics and religion in Middle America. They wanted to know if I was interested in turning it into a book. I’d been trying to get publishers interested in my writing for years. So when this offer came, I thought it was my chance. I threw everything I could into the project. And the more the book came together, the more my life fell apart.

It wasn’t because I wasn’t getting everything done. I was cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and writing my book. But I was asking for more from my husband. Not a lot, just a little. Maybe he vacuumed the floors once in a while? Took the kids grocery shopping? I would have settled for the scraps of his efforts. But he’d vacuum once and never do it again. Grocery shop once and complain it was too hard to do with the kids.

In the middle of it, my husband suggested we have a third child. He brought it up in therapy one day: Maybe I could quit writing for a while? Maybe I could simply write a nice little novel, at night, after the kids were in bed? And we could have another kid. Wouldn’t I be less stressed out?

I stared at him in disbelief. My dream was finally within my reach, and he wanted me to give it up?

It soon became clear: I could be successful, or I could be married.

Adapted from “This American Ex-Wife” by Lyz Lenz. Copyright © 2024 by E Claire Enterprises. Published in the United States by Crown, an imprint of Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House.

Divorce rates in the United States are hard to calculate . There is the “crude” rate, the number of divorces among all people in a year. There is the “refined” rate, the number of divorces among women in a year. (Researchers use women because female respondents’ data reporting is seen as more reliable.) Divorce rates can also be calculated by dividing the number of marriages in a year by the number of divorces. Perhaps impossible to count: the marriages where couples separate but never divorce.

It is an oft-cited statistic that half of U.S. marriages end in divorce, but that figure has not been accurate since the 1970s . Some numbers put the current divorce rate around 40 percent. But even then, imagine: If 40 percent of Honda CR-Vs had engine failures, Honda would issue a recall of the whole line.

Studies show that when women advance in their careers, they are more likely to divorce. So are female breadwinners. One 2020 analysis specifically examined the marriages of women in Sweden, who have more income parity than American women and more of a social safety net. It wasn’t the lack of social support that made these women divorce; it was the lack of relational support .

Lyz Lenz and Shadi Hamid are chatting about modern relationships. Submit your questions now.

One of the study’s authors, Johanna Rickne, a professor at Stockholm University, pointed out that men are used to being asked to fill the gap in domestic duties but not to take on more than that. It is “still seen as quite unusual for men to be the main supportive spouse in someone else’s career,” Rickne said. Ask for 50-50, and that’s okay. Ask for 51-49, and the marriage falls apart.

Popular culture often suggests it’s a given that women’s careerism is what ruins marriages. In “ The Devil Wears Prada ,” Meryl Streep plays a successful magazine editor whose overlooked husband leaves her. As Stanley Tucci’s character, Nigel, opines to Andy , Streep’s beleaguered assistant, played by Anne Hathaway: “Let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke. Means it’s time for a promotion.”

Yet married men have careers and families all the time. They’re able to do this because they have a partner at home supporting them. Essentially, it’s not the time commitment and stress of success that break up marriages; it’s the husband’s resentment about the time commitment and stress — and his refusal or inability to step up.

These days, nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women who are tired, fed up, exhausted, no longer in love. Women who are unhappy. Some of their breaking moments are quiet. Some are loud. Often, women who seek divorce are pathologized, dismissed as “crazy” or unable to cope. They are problems for a therapist and a self-help book to solve. Certainly not a political crisis.

But I don’t think that’s true.

Divorce is both personal and political. It is still harder to divorce in America than to marry — and lately, activists targeting no-fault divorce would make it even harder. Most states have waiting periods for divorces stipulating anywhere between 20 and 180 days before a couple can finalize a divorce. A majority don’t have a waiting period for a marriage license, and if they do, it’s not longer than three days, except in Wisconsin, where it’s five days. Most marriage licenses don’t cost more than $100; divorces can cost far more.

At the same time, our governments sponsor and prop up the institution of marriage with tax breaks and incentives , while making it nearly impossible to be a single parent.

Here’s some politics for you: In lieu of a social safety net, states hand out grants to fund marriage counseling and seminars. As recently as last year, Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program recipients in Iowa were still receiving a letter touting the benefits of a “healthy marriage.” A new divorcée who shared the letter with me said it had made her feel as if the government was calling her a failure, that “[if] I had been in a healthy marriage, I wouldn’t be on SNAP now. … Just this little, innocuous document letting all of us sad little welfare peasants know that we should be married.” As if being married and miserable and staying off welfare were preferable to being happy and having a social safety net.

In 2022, the Republican Study Committee’s fiscal report “ Blueprint to Save America ” advocated moving SNAP benefits to a discretionary block grant program that would cut out federal rules and oversight, and allow states to change work requirements. Throughout the document, the RSC repeatedly emphasized that marriage and family should be the focus of these programs, pointing out that being a single parent (specifically a single mother) tends to lead to poverty. (A search of the document reveals that the term “single mother” appears four times; “single father” appears zero times.) The solution? Push poor single mothers into marriage in the name of cutting the social safety net.

It’s not a new plan or even a secret one. It’s not even just a Republican plan. State-funded marriage initiatives have been policy priorities under the administrations of Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama and President Biden . The logic of each program has always been, as Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) stated in 2014 , that marriage is “the greatest tool to lift children and families from poverty.”

But this thinking gives government and society a pass, propping up marriage as a panacea while ignoring the systemic biases, including racism, that lead to poverty, and the fact that good outcomes for women and children arise from a complex mix of factors. It also ignores the prevalence of domestic abuse and other dynamics within marriages that lead to very poor outcomes indeed for women and children.

In a 2022 article for Slate , Scott Coltrane, professor emeritus of sociology and former provost at the University of Oregon, and writer Gail Cornwall broke down the flawed studies that for so long warned parents that divorce would hurt their children. “The ‘children will suffer’ beat … had incredible staying power,” they wrote. But far more than the existence of a marriage, they argued, it was access to money and social privilege, as well as good parenting, that led to better outcomes.

“As a result of the way the Christian right was able to frame — and effectively close — the policy debate,” they wrote, “national solutions have focused on individuals’ decisions and bolstering the institution of marriage: Choose the right spouse. Go to couples therapy. All but ignored is the government’s opportunity and obligation to families. And that disproportionately affects women, Black families, and lower-income kids and caregivers.”

Keep in mind that even if people marry, it is hard to stay married when, for instance, the state is more likely to incarcerate Black women and Black men, and social services are more likely to get involved in their children’s lives. Today, nearly half of all Black women have never married . That’s compared with roughly 30 percent of all American women.

Michael Warner summed it up perfectly in his book “ The Trouble With Normal ” when he called marriage “nothing if not a program for privilege.” Marriage, simply put, can’t be the solution to societal ills, because it isn’t accessible to all people in our society.

Compare the situation in the United States against the research evidence showing that countries with well-funded social safety nets have less divorce. A 2019 article on the Census Bureau website points out that in societies where divorce is relatively easy to access, “the number of marriages increases by at least 9%. Female suicides decrease by 8% to 16% and domestic violence decreases by around 30%. Women start working more outside of the home — up to 7 percentage points more — increasing their economic clout in a marriage by bringing income that they control into the home.”

Maybe instead of discouraging divorce and pressuring people to marry for financial security, we should make a more equitable society.

In 2017, I’d been working on my marriage for a dozen years. I scheduled the therapy appointments. I scheduled the date nights. I hired the babysitters. I sat with my husband and watched “Star Trek” because he liked it. I had memorized Kirby Puckett’s number and watched the entire 1991 World Series highlight reel . Multiple times.

For years, I packed my husband’s lunch. Exactly how he liked it. Two slices of wheat bread, the Brownberry brand. Meat and a slice of cheese and honey mustard. He liked the Hy-Vee brand of honey mustard. Carrots. Chips. SunChips were best. And a Dr Pepper. In our first years of marriage, I’d put notes in there — flirty little messages, sometimes scandalous. I’d think, I’d hope, that he would reply. That he’d call in the middle of the day to say how happy it had made him. He didn’t.

When our second child was born, I was too exhausted to keep making the sandwiches, and he told me he thought I didn’t love him anymore. No, no, no, I am just so tired, I tried explaining. And I was. So tired. I had a toddler daughter. I had a baby boy who did not sleep and wanted only me to hold him. Who screamed when he wasn’t near me. Who refused a bottle. Sometimes I’d escape to grocery shop, and my husband would call me with the baby screaming in the background to ask, “When are you coming home?”

Please, I’d beg. Just bring food home one day? I need help.

“But what if you’re already cooking?” he said.

I didn’t even know how to reply. His words were so devoid of the experience of my life.

Once, when my son was just 4 months old, I put him down for a nap, then got my toddler into her room for rest time. She refused to nap. But I tried to get her settled so I could have just a few moments with no one touching me, no one needing me.

She was defiant and pooped in her underwear and began screaming. I came upstairs to find poop smeared on the carpet and the baby screaming, too. I started screaming. I screamed so loud, my daughter was scared. I was scared. I was terrified of the well of exhaustion and rage inside me, of how much I wanted to run. I shut myself in the bedroom and called my husband. “Come home,” I sobbed.

He did. He got the kids, and I refused to come out of the bedroom until it was the baby’s bedtime. I simply could not face them. When I did come out, I found my husband had fed the children. There was Chinese takeout waiting for me. This is good , I thought. Maybe he sees . That night, after I put the baby to bed, I scrubbed my daughter’s poop off the carpet. Then my husband told me I needed to get it together. Maybe, he suggested, I should sleep more. And I realized he didn’t see me at all.

“Help” is such a misleading verb. We emphasize the person aiding. The help. The helpers. People are thanked for their help. But the verb implies a request, a cry, an appeal for aid.

My husband would help. Aid was given, yes. But it wouldn’t be a regular thing. It would come only when things were dire, when there was toddler poop on the floor and I was sobbing. I had economic stability, a home and children, but the cost had been my entire loss of self.

Criticizing marriage and telling the truths about the emotional lives of married women have always been a fraught enterprise that kicks up backlash, obfuscating the reality.

In 1987, Shere Hite published “Women and Love,” the third installment in her groundbreaking research into the lives of American men and women. From a sample of 4,500 survey respondents, women ages 14 to 85, Hite found that despite pushes for equality, four-fifths of American women felt their relationships were unequal; nearly 90 percent of separated or divorced women reported being lonely in their marriages; and 95 percent reported “emotional and psychological harassment” from their men.

Instead of causing a cultural reckoning, Hite and her research were attacked . That is: In response to the news that women thought their partners were defensive, difficult and not listening to them, American men did not listen.

I was the one who broke. I want to make that clear. If I hadn’t, we might still be together. This article wouldn’t exist. Much of my work wouldn’t exist. But my marriage would. And maybe we’d reach the end of our lives and have joyful, peaceful moments. And our children might idolize what we had — not knowing, never knowing, how much it cost me.

In the 1996 remake of the movie “ 101 Dalmatians ,” Cruella de Vil tells Anita : “More good women have been lost to marriage than to war, famine, disease and disaster. You have talent, darling. Don’t squander it.”

I often wonder how many stories, how many scientific breakthroughs, how many plays, musical scores and innovations have been tossed onto the pyre of human marriage. I am not saying the work I have done and will do is so incredible that it justifies everything. I am saying it doesn’t have to. I shouldn’t have to win a Nobel Prize or be a heart surgeon for my life, ambition and happiness to be worth fighting for.

After I left my marriage, I began to talk to women — hundreds of women — about their moment of breaking. It happened almost by accident. When you divorce, women like to tell you about their own problems, their own marriages and divorces; they tell you of the frustrations that lay behind their own carefully constructed homes and smiling holiday cards.

I noticed patterns. These weren’t just stories of women falling out of love, but of a political, cultural and romantic institution that asks too much of wives and mothers and gives too little in return. As one mother of four, who runs her own small business, said: “I’m a divorced single mom. Leaving my husband didn’t increase my workload. He wasn’t doing much. My workload is the same, but I have more peace now.”

These are not the rantings of bitter women. Well, they are sometimes bitter, but when did being bitter imply that women weren’t telling the truth? I listened as the stories piled up one after another. The whisper network of women who’d broken their lives apart and found freedom and happiness.

The moment people knew their marriage was over ranged from the simple (“I saw him in a robe and realized I wasn’t comfortable enough around him anymore to wear a robe in my own home”) to the violent (“He left a gun on the table”). On social media, a woman told me she knew her marriage was over when she saw her husband kick their dog. Another wrote to tell me she knew when her husband took a painting she had purchased from Turkey off the wall so he could hang it in his office.

Many men I’ve talked to about the end of their marriage say they were stunned. (“One day I woke up, she was gone, and money was missing.”) Others report small betrayals. (“I told her I wanted to go to therapy. She wished me luck finding one. I realized I was on my own.”)

What struck me was that women seemed to know the end was coming, while men seemed surprised by it. One man told me he knew only when she didn’t come home one day and he was served with papers three months later.

Perhaps I should not have been surprised at the men’s surprise. In a 2019 study , sociologist Allison Daminger found that women carry the majority of the cognitive load in their relationships. Meaning women are the ones noticing, analyzing and anticipating the issues in a marriage — thinking of the problems, trying to solve them and monitoring them for success.

This is the unspoken reality of fixing a relationship. Yes, it is hard work. And the labor mostly falls on women.

It is worth pointing out, too, that while women do more housework than their male partners, even when women are the primary earners , this work also goes largely unobserved by men, who statistically perceive themselves as doing equal work. Add the fact that husbands add hours of labor to a home — labor done by their wives — and it’s a bleak picture of domestic partnership. I think of all the conversations I had in couples therapy, begging him to help. You shouldn’t have to beg.

Do you want to know how I finally got my husband to do his fair share? Court-ordered 50-50 custody, that’s how.

Whenever I point out the inequality in marriage, a man inevitably will bemoan the loss of marriage in our culture. The “what ever happened to the good old days when people stayed married?” flavor of cultural critique is baseless and boring. But it persists because, as Susan Faludi wrote in her seminal work of cultural analysis, “ Backlash ,” the one constant of marriage is that men have benefited from the institution.

Faludi quoted sociologist Jessie Bernard, who wrote in 1972: “There are few findings more consistent, less equivocal, [and] more convincing, than the sometimes spectacular and always impressive superiority on almost every index — demographic, psychological, or social — of married over never-married men. Despite all the jokes about marriage in which men indulge, all the complaints they lodge against it, it is one of the greatest boons of their sex.”

Meanwhile, I am confounded by the contradictions inherent in the data that show men are happy in marriages, when women often struggle. If their partner is struggling, wouldn’t that make men … not happy? If marriage costs women more in health and happiness, but men benefit — aren’t they actually not benefiting? If men’s happiness rests on the unhappiness of their partner, shouldn’t that lead to unhappiness?

In response to news of divorce, people often reply, “I’m sorry.” But I think we should say “congratulations.” Congratulations for prioritizing yourself. For being brave. For the self-knowledge to know when to leave. “Self-knowledge,” as Simone de Beauvoir wrote, “is no guarantee of happiness, but it is on the side of happiness and can supply the courage to fight for it.”

Millions and millions of people — mostly women — are looking up and realizing that they just cannot do this for one more minute: the gendered expectations, the unequal share of domestic labor, the abuse, the exhaustion, everything.

Of course, not all women want to divorce. Many have written to me to share how miserable they are, but they love their husbands. This is just what marriage is, they say.

Some tell me how they’ve trained their partners. Sure, those men came rough and reluctant, but now they do the dishes without complaining. And they’ll cook dinner some nights. See? Maybe, they imply, if I had tried harder, worked harder, trained my husband, stayed miserable a little longer, I could have stayed married. As if that was the one thing I wanted to spend my time on — training a grown man like a horse.

Or they say how they’ve persisted for the children. Note: My children have a stable home, and that is the home I am building. They also have a stable home in the one their father has with his new wife, as well as a little sister. Not to mention — and this is no small thing — happier parents.

But being divorced must be lonely, women say. Aren’t I lonely?

Here is the truth: I have never been lonelier than I was when I was on the inside of a miserable marriage.

I hope these women find the courage to ask for everything they want and more. I also want to tell them: If they raise the bar and it breaks, that’s okay. There is power in giving up. Yes, it’s hard, and you might cry putting together Ikea furniture at 2 a.m. But walking away is strength.

Since I divorced and started making my own money, my entire relationship with relationships has changed. With economic freedom came my freedom to say no to men who offered me less than what I wanted. And the knowledge that without them, I’d be fine.

Happiness is found along many different paths. So let me tell you something else that is true, that our governments, our institutions, our communities so often won’t say: You do not have to waste years of your life hoping that maybe, one day, you’ll finally get there. You can be happy now. It is your turn now.

About guest opinion submissions

The Washington Post accepts opinion articles on any topic. We welcome submissions on local, national and international issues. We publish work that varies in length and format, including multimedia. Submit a guest opinion or read our guide to writing an opinion article .

Persuasive & Argumentative Essays about Divorce: Free Tips

A divorce is a life-changing experience that affects spouses and their children (if there are any). Since divorce rates are relatively high in modern society, more and more people face this problem nowadays.

When you are assigned to compose an argumentative essay about divorce, you should be as careful as possible. Remember that the split-up of marriage can be a painful experience for everyone involved.

The article will give you useful advice on how to write an outstanding paper on the topic. Learn the essential features of the following types:

• persuasive essay about divorce,
• for and against essay,
• causes and effects of divorce essay,

Check tips from Custom-writing.org below and write the best paper!

• 💍 How to Write It
• 📂 Essays by Type
• ✒ Causes and Effects

✍️ Divorce Essay Topics

💍 how to write a divorce essay.

The general structure of essays on divorce is quite common:

• introduction;
• conclusion.

Yet, there are some variations of what info to include in the body, depending on the essay type. The following structure is applicable for divorce argumentative essay. To learn about the features of other types, keep on reading our article.

Argumentative divorce essays are composed according to the standard structure:

1. Thesis Statement about Divorce

A divorce essay introduction isn’t anything extraordinary as you have to introduce your topic and position.

• You should always give broad information about the issue and state the main problems you will discuss in your writing.
• Make a general statement about the consequences of divorce or the common divorce effects on people.
• Then write your thesis statement on divorce. Clearly explain to the audience the topic you’re going to discuss and your position on that topic. In case you find this task difficult, try using a thesis generator for argumentative essay . This will save you some time.

That’s it! Now your divorce essay introduction is ready.

What’s next?

2. Main Body

This section presents all of your ideas and arguments related to the topic of divorce.

• Here you can write about the adverse effects of divorce on children or the most common reasons people divorce.
• Use compelling arguments and support your ideas with examples.

There are tons of surveys and statistics about divorce on the internet, so it won’t be too challenging to gather the information you need.

3. Conclusion

In the last paragraph, you have to sum up your paper and leave a final expression.

• Summarize every idea presented in your divorce essay.
• Restate your thesis statement on divorce, relying on your reasoning.
• Then list your concluding thoughts on this topic.

Make your sentences clear and easy to follow. Use synonyms to improve your writing style. Such an approach will help you convince the readers and express your thoughts better.

📂 Divorce Essays by Type

The content and reasoning of each paper on divorce depend primarily on the type of essay . See the following sections to understand how to write each of them.

Here are a few types you can consider:

Argumentative Essay about Divorce

When it comes to divorce, there are many disputable topics—for example, the reasons people separate or its impact on children. It’s easy to find support and statistics for both issues. And you’ll need them as facts are a crucial part of a divorce argumentative essay.

As a starting point:

Research your idea and choose a side to support. Make sure that among all argumentative essay topics about divorce, you selected the most interesting for yourself. In your thesis statement, concisely express your position, so the reader can quickly get it.

Then, start writing the entire essay. Regardless of what type of paper you are writing—anti or pro divorce argumentative essay—your writing should meet these requirements:

• Base your points on logic;
• Present both sides of the arguments, but support only one;
• Take into consideration counterclaims;
• Support all the arguments by valid evidence;
• Use a calm, informative tone.

Don’t forget to incorporate quotes and figures to convince your readers.

Persuasive Essay about Divorce

What is the goal of writing persuasive essays ? It’s to convince your reader that your position on a particular problem is true.

Therefore, writing this paper means that you should identify an individual problem related to the topic. In the introduction of your persuasive essay about divorce, you should choose your side and deliver it to the reader.

Crucial note:

Similarly to an argumentative essay, you have to provide credible facts to support your position. Yet here, you use them to back up your opinion and persuade your reader.

While composing your persuasive essay about the legalization of divorce, remember its distinctive features:

• Based on emotions;
• Presents only one side of the argument;
• Ignores counterclaims;
• The tone is dynamic, emotionally-charged, and aggressive to some extent.

Cause and Effect Essay on Divorce

Whether it concerns old parents or a young couple, divorce typically has the same causes and effects. You can often see them clearly, even in books or movies.

The essay outline for the causes and effects of divorce essay is quite common:

• Introduction.

In your divorce essay introduction, provide a general background and compose a clear thesis statement. For example, your thesis might look like this:

A divorce, caused by the spouses’ expectations mismatch, results in a lack of communication between children and one of the parents.

In this part of your essay, investigate the cause and effect of divorce, you stated before.

For the given thesis, the main points would be the following:

The primary cause of divorce is the mismatch in the spouses’ expectations from the marriage.

The divorce often results in a lack of children’s interactions with one of the parents.

• Conclusion.

Synthesize all of your arguments and give your audience a space for a further investigation of your issue.

Narrative Essay about Divorce

If your assignment is to write a family essay, you can choose from a wide range of topics. For this purpose, a marriage essay or a divorce essay would be perfect.

In a short paper about your family, it isn’t easy to cover many topics. So choose only one.

Look through some narrative essay topics and select the one you like:

• The story of my divorce: how did I decide to break up with my spouse?
• My life completely changed after my parents divorced.
• How my life looked like before the divorce with my wife/husband and how it looks now.
• The way divorce destroys healthy communication between children and parents in my family.

For and Against Divorce Essay

As you know, both the negative and positive effects of divorce are disputable, making them appealing to discuss. There are many recent studies and relevant statistical data on the topic to help you write such an essay.

This topic would also be great for a speech on divorce.

Wondering what are the for and against divorce arguments? Take a look at the following:

✒ Divorce: Causes and Effects

We have a pleasant bonus for you! Below, you can find useful arguments and insightful ideas that you can use in your papers on divorce. Apply our concepts in any type of essay, adjusting them to your topic.

Divorce essays can cover the following issues:

Generally Known Facts on Divorces

When covering this issue in your persuasive essay on divorce, you will have to cover the problem altogether. Include the common marriage problems that psychologists all over the world study. Use their statistical data on divorces when crafting your argument.

Divorce is quite a broad topic, and you may want to narrow it down. With so much information available, you could write a research paper on divorce without any difficulty.

Statistical Data on Divorces

Good divorce essays should include enough statistical data. It will add more scientific value and reveal your research abilities. Besides, facts and figures present many exciting topics to comment on.

For example:

You can do significant research concerning divorce causes and consequences. Draw a contrast between divorce in several countries, or examine the age and education of people who officially separate more often.

Reasons for Divorces

What does an essay on divorce mean without discussion of its reasons?

Find out different sociologists’ viewpoints on the reasons for divorces. Then underline the cause you consider to be the most truthful one.

You can also provide your own theory on the grounds for divorces in your persuasive essay on divorce. The key point is to prove the accuracy of your statement.

Divorce Prevention Ideas

If there is a problem, there must be some solution. So, think of the possible ways to make a marriage work.

Investigate divorce causes from a scientific point of view. Examine the primary studies that reveal why people actually break up. Also, discuss the precautions that can help married couples avoid significant conflicts.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Parents sometimes forget that their divorce isn’t only about them but also about their children. It causes psychological problems for kids, which you can classify in your paper. Don’t forget to add some statistical data on divorce to support your arguments.

Every child reacts differently to their parents’ breakup. It’s a rare case when divorce consequences are positive, making the effects on kids an urgent topic to discuss.

Positive Effects of Divorce

Sometimes divorce isn’t a catastrophe but rather the only way to heal wounds and begin a new life. Often, people don’t recognize that they need to change their lives for the better. This situation is primarily related to abusive marriages or those with regular cheating.

In these cases, the positive effects of divorce may seem easy to understand. However, psychologists have to make great efforts to persuade people to end their relationships. Write a paper making this same argument.

• Negative outcomes of divorce on children .  
• Connection between divorce and antisocial behavior of children.  
• Family crises and the issue it causes: divorce, remarriage, stepparents, adoption. 
• Effect of divorce on teenagers ’ academic performance.  
• Causes and consequences of divorce . 
• What can be done to decrease divorce rates in America ?  
• Does parental divorce affect the rates of juvenile delinquency ? 
• The most widespread reasons for divorce .  
• Analyze marital success factors and Gottman’s predictors of divorce.  
• Impact of divorce on child’s mental health .  
• Change of divorce law throughout history.  
• Positive and negative changes in children’s behavior after divorce.  
• Divorce : a disaster or a benefit?  
• Is cheating one of the main reasons of divorce?  
• Gender stratification impact on divorce trends.  
• Effect of divorce on family relationship .  
• Do divorced parents change their child-rearing styles ?  
• List of factors typically associated with higher divorce rates .  
• The support required for all the members of divorced and single-parent families . 
• Analyze the reasons for high divorce rates . 
• Does divorce only impact adolescent in a bad way?  
• Effect of poverty on divorce rates.  
• Specifics of divorce in the UAE . 
• Does divorce lead to depression ?  
• Family therapy and its role in decreasing divorce rates.  
• The impact of divorce on children-parents relationship.  
• Evaluation of child custody in divorce proceedings.
• How to manage the stress of divorce.   
• Effect of divorce on children’s self-esteem.  
• How to minimize the devastating consequences of divorce .  
• Addiction as the reason for divorce.  
• Effective communication in marriage and its role in preventing divorce.  
• Divorce as the only way out of an abusive relationship.
• Financial issues of divorce and how to overcome them.  
• Parental support is the best way to help children to go through divorce.
• How do adolescents adjust to parental divorce?  
• Do boys and girls react to the parental divorce the same way?  
• Social media can destroy relationship and lead to divorce. 
• Can Christian counseling help couples to resolve their issues and avoid divorce?  
• Poverty among divorced women.  
• Young marriage has more chances to break-up.  
• Respect is the best way to get marriage satisfaction and avoid divorce.  
• Is interfaith marriage doomed to divorce? 
• Why a successful marriage may end in divorce?  
• Marriage contract will help to facilitate the legal side of divorce process.  
• Reduction of the number of divorces. 
• Personal development after divorce.  
• How family relationships influence future marriage and divorce chances of children. 
•  Child support in case of marriage divorce.  
• Will lack of family and work balance definitely result in divorce?  

If you are stuck on writing, you can always ask us for help! Whether you need a persuasive essay on divorce or any other paper, we are here and ready to assist.

Thanks for reading the article! Share it with friends who may need our tips or assistance.

Further reading:

• Top Ideas for Argumentative or Persuasive Essay Topics
• Best Argumentative Research Paper Topics
• 197 Inspirational & Motivational Argumentative Essay Topics
• Gun Control Essay: How-to Guide + Argumentative Topics
• Proposal Essay Topics and Ideas – Easy and Interesting
• Free Exemplification Essay Examples

🔗 References

• Essay Introductions
• Transitional Words and Phrases
• Argumentative Paper Format
• The Writing Process
• Divorce Argument Essay: Bartleby
• Cause and Effect Essay: The Online Writing Lab (OWL) at Roane State Community College and UNC at Chapel Hill Writing Center
• Counterargument: Gordon Harvey, the Writing Center at Harvard University
• Share to Facebook
• Share to Twitter
• Share to LinkedIn
• Share to email

Corruption is an abuse of power that was entrusted to a person or group of people for personal gain. It can appear in various settings and affect different social classes, leading to unemployment and other economic issues. This is why writing an essay on corruption can become a challenge. One...

Do you have to write an essay for the first time? Or maybe you’ve only written essays with less than 1000 words? Someone might think that writing a 1000-word essay is a rather complicated and time-consuming assignment. Others have no idea how difficult thousand-word essays can be. Well, we have...

To write an engaging “If I Could Change the World” essay, you have to get a few crucial elements: The questions that define this paper type: What? How? Whom? When? Where? The essay structure that determines where each answer should be; Some tips that can make your writing unique and original. Let us...

Why do you want to be a pharmacist? An essay on this topic can be challenging, even when you know the answer. The most popular reasons to pursue this profession are the following:

How to write a film critique essay? To answer this question, you should clearly understand what a movie critique is. It can be easily confused with a movie review. Both paper types can become your school or college assignments. However, they are different. A movie review reveals a personal impression...

Are you getting ready to write your Language Proficiency Index Exam essay? Well, your mission is rather difficult, and you will have to work hard. One of the main secrets of successful LPI essays is perfect writing skills. So, if you practice writing, you have a chance to get the...

Dengue fever is a quite dangerous febrile disease that can even cause death. Nowadays, this disease can be found in the tropics and Africa. Brazil, Singapore, Taiwan, Indonesia, and India are also vulnerable to this disease.

An outline is the main form of organization in academic writing. It implies listing all of the research ideas and components before the writing process starts. To many of you, an outline may seem like just another piece of extra work to do, but trust us, it will end up...

Even though a personal essay seems like something you might need to write only for your college application, people who graduated a while ago are asked to write it. Therefore, if you are a student, you might even want to save this article for later!

If you wish a skill that would be helpful not just for middle school or high school, but also for college and university, it would be the skill of a five-paragraph essay. Despite its simple format, many students struggle with such assignments.

Reading books is pleasurable and entertaining; writing about those books isn’t. Reading books is pleasurable, easy, and entertaining; writing about those books isn’t. However, learning how to write a book report is something that is commonly required in university. Fortunately, it isn’t as difficult as you might think. You’ll only...

A descriptive essay is an academic paper that challenges a school or college student to describe something. It can be a person, a place, an object, a situation—anything an individual can depict in writing. The task is to show your abilities to communicate an experience in an essay format using...

Wow! Thanks for this! This will help me on my speech topic a lot! Thank you Jack‼️

• Navigating The Essentials Of Divorce

Navigating the Essentials of Divorce

Ad Disclosure: Some of our MentalHelp.net recommendations, including BetterHelp, are also affiliates, and as such we may receive compensation from them if you choose to purchase products or services through the links provided

The topic of divorce would seem to require no introduction. Divorce refers to the often messy and painful end of a marriage. For better or for worse, divorce is a very common event these days. Most everyone has been touched by it, either by going through it themselves as a spouse or a child, or knowing someone who has gone through it as a spouse or as a child. Despite widespread familiarity with the effects of divorce, the details of the divorce process are less well known. In this section, we discuss the important concepts and procedures involved in the divorce process with the sincere hope that educating people regarding this information will help minimize pain.

You can feel like the loneliest person in the world when you are contemplating divorce. It's therefore important to keep divorce in perspective so that it doesn't crush you.

What is Divorce?

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage, marking the end of the marital union between two individuals. It involves the dissolution of marital obligations and the division of marital assets and responsibilities. Divorce can occur through both contested and uncontested means, where contested divorce involves disputes over issues like child custody, spousal support, and division of assets, while uncontested divorce occurs when both spouses agree on these terms and proceed with the dissolution amicably.

Divorce is Common

Therapists are standing by to treat your depression, anxiety or other mental health needs.

Explore Your Options Today

The first thing to know about divorce is that it is common and nothing to be ashamed of. According to recent statistics, the rate of divorce in the United States (0.40%) is approximately half the rate of marriage (0.78%), suggesting that approximately 50% of all marriages - an enormous number! - are ending in divorce. 

However, it’s important to note that divorce rates can vary significantly depending on factors like geographical location, socioeconomic status, and cultural norms.

While the actual meaning of these figures is arguable (given that it may be unfair to try to predict who will divorce in the future based on who is divorcing today), there is no disputing the fact that a great number of Americans have divorced and will divorce in the future. Divorce is so common it has become an industry unto itself with lawyers and matchmaking companies being just a few of the groups deriving economic benefit from the process. Under the social pressure of so many divorces, the stigma that used to be attached to divorce is largely gone. It continues to be painful to divorce, but with so much company, it is no longer a lonely isolated place. 

Factors Affecting Divorce Rates & Trends

Economic stability and employment opportunities can influence individuals’ decisions regarding marriage and divorce. Additionally, shifting attitudes toward marriage, gender roles, and individual autonomy affect perceptions of marriage and divorce—and subsequent divorce rates.

The availability of marriage counseling, legal assistance, and social support networks can affect couples’ ability to navigate challenges and sustain marriages as well. If a couple doesn’t have affordable access to support services, they may be less likely to work through marital issues or conflict.

Moreover, changes in societal norms regarding the timing of marriage and family formation may contribute to lower divorce rates among couples who marry later in life.

Divorce is an Old Institution

The second thing to know about divorce is that it is an old and venerable institution. People have been getting divorced as long as people have been getting married. The ease with which a divorce can be obtained, the social stigma attached to divorce, and the amount of control religious and political powers have exercised over divorce have varied significantly over time and cultures. On the one hand, some accounts suggest that Islamic law at one point allowed a man to divorce his wife by simply stating the phrase "I divorce you" three times. On the other hand, other accounts suggest that the sixteenth-century English king Henry XIII went so far as to cause the Anglican Church to be created (or at least become fully recognized) so as to gain permission for a divorce which the Catholic Church had denied him.

Less than 50 years ago, divorce was only widely available in the United States on a "fault" basis; it could only be obtained by demonstrating to the state's approval that one of the partners was acting badly enough to warrant the release of the other partner. Acceptable grounds for fault divorce varied from state to state but usually included abuse, adultery, and abandonment. 

The difficulty of gaining divorce and a cultural climate that stigmatized divorce combined to keep divorce rates low. Since the 1960s most states have adopted "no-fault" divorce laws that allow couples to divorce without proving wrongdoing. Due in part to this reform and probably to other cultural changes, the divorce rate has risen, and being divorced is no longer looked down upon. 

Divorce Doesn’t Have to Be Awful

The third thing to know about divorce is that it isn't always awful. With the availability of no-fault divorce options, the process of divorce is no longer necessarily adversarial. Partners are now free to proceed with divorce as calmly and rationally as they can manage. Certainly, divorce is frequently born out of marital conflict and proceeds as a knockdown, drag-out fight for possessions, child custody, and pride. But modern divorce can also take place amicably, consciously, and without a court battle. 

Marriage therapy can help conflicted partners to repair their marriage, or, if that is not possible, to separate on as positive terms as possible. Arbitration is available to help partners successfully divide their possessions without recourse to the courts. The quality of the divorce any given couple will end up experiencing will be deeply influenced by the quality of relationships the partners can maintain with each other, and with professional helpers they work with during the separation process. 

Divorce is an Emotional Journey & Legal Process

The fourth thing to know about divorce is that it is at once an emotional journey and a legal process and that it is best to keep these two aspects of divorce separate when that is possible. Marriage is a legal contract recognized by the state conferring rights, privileges, and responsibilities. 

From a legal perspective, divorce is a process of disengaging partners from the legal marriage contract and making sure that those things the spouses are responsible for (including children and property) are properly accounted for and cared for. The very rational and purposeful legal process of divorce contrasts mightily with the chaotic and emotional aspects of divorce which involve coming to grips with rather massive life changes as significant and shattering as any family death and which may involve significant grief, anger, sadness, and pain. We'll be dealing with the emotional and legal aspects of divorce separately in this document. 

The Legal Divorce Process Simplified

The notion of divorce can be overwhelming and stressful, especially if you aren’t sure what to do or what the process is like. Here are the typical steps in obtaining a divorce:

• One spouse files a petition for divorce with the appropriate court, outlining the grounds for divorce and requesting dissolution of the marriage.
• The other spouse is served with the divorce papers and has the opportunity to respond, either contesting or consenting to the divorce.
• In some jurisdictions, couples may engage in mediation to resolve issues such as child custody, visitation, division of assets, and spousal support.
• Mediation involves a neutral third party who helps facilitate communication and negotiation between the spouses to reach mutually acceptable agreements.
• Both spouses gather and disclose financial and personal information relevant to the divorce proceedings.
• Negotiations may occur between the spouses, their attorneys, or mediators to reach agreements on key issues.
• If disputes remain unresolved, the divorce may proceed to court hearings or trial, where a judge makes decisions on contested issues such as child custody, support, and property division.
• Once all issues are resolved, either through negotiation, mediation, or court proceedings, the divorce is finalized.
• The court issues a final divorce decree, legally terminating the marriage and detailing the terms of the divorce settlement.

However, every divorce process is different. For example, divorce laws and procedures vary by jurisdiction, including requirements for residency, grounds for divorce, and legal processes. Some jurisdictions may have waiting periods of mandatory counseling requirements before a divorce can be finalized.

Furthermore, each divorce case is unique, with factors such as the complexity of assets, the presence of children, and the level of conflict influencing the duration and outcome of the divorce process. Couples may choose different dispute resolution methods, such as collaborative divorce or litigation, based on their specific needs and circumstances.

Key Legal Terms in Divorce Decoded

Divorce can be an emotional journey and a confusing legal process as well. Here are some key legal terms associated with divorce:

• Dissolution: The legal termination of a marriage, also known as divorce, wherein spouses end their marital relationship and become legally single individuals.
• Alimony (spousal support): Financial support paid by one spouse to the other during or after divorce proceedings, intended to provide financial assistance to the lower-earning or dependent spouse.
• Custody: Legal authority and responsibility for the care, supervision, and decision-making regarding a child's upbringing, including physical custody (where the child resides) and legal custody (decision-making authority).
• Child support: Financial payments made by one parent to another for the financial support and care of their child or children, typically based on state guidelines and calculated based on factors such as income and the child's needs.

Understanding these legal terms is essential for individuals navigating the divorce process, as they directly impact financial arrangements, living situations, and relationships with children. Seeking legal advice and support can help parties understand their rights and obligations and work toward fair and sustainable outcomes for all involved.

Divorce is Not the End of the World

The final thing to know upfront about divorce is that divorce is not the end of the world. Divorce is a crisis involving a very real end, but it is also a very real new beginning. Divorce is the end of a chapter of life, but not the end of life itself (even though it may feel that way). In the midst of the divorce crisis are seeds of opportunities for remaking life into something again enjoyable new and creatively good. It is important to keep this hopeful and true message in mind as the process unfolds.

Additional Resources

As advocates of mental health and wellness, we take great pride in educating our readers on the various online therapy providers available. MentalHelp has partnered with several thought leaders in the mental health and wellness space, so we can help you make informed decisions on your wellness journey. MentalHelp may receive marketing compensation from these companies should you choose to use their services.

BetterHelp Online Therapy - BetterHelp offers online therapy services from licensed professionals through an easy-to-use website and app. To get matched with a virtual therapist, complete a brief questionnaire online or start get started with a 20% off your first month today .

Talkspace Online Therapy & Psychiatry - Licensed therapists and psychiatrists are available for virtual sessions via Talkspace . From virtual counseling to medication management services, Talkspace online therapy may be covered by your insurance provider. Simply fill out a brief assessment online to save $100 and match with a licensed therapist today .

MentalHelp may receive marketing compensation from the above-listed companies should you choose to use their services.

• Dealing with Divorce
• Helping children to cope with divorce
• Recovering Your Life After a Divorce
• Oppositional Defiant Disorder
• Mens Health
• What Is Addiction?
• Signs, Symptoms, & Effects Of Addiction
• What Causes Addiction?
• Mental Health, Dual-Diagnosis, & Behavioral Addictions
• Addiction Treatment
• Addiction Recovery
• Information On Specific Drugs
• Homosexuality And Bisexuality
• Internet Addiction
• Childhood Mental Disorders
• ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
• Anxiety Disorders
• Bipolar Disorder
• Depression: Major Depression & Unipolar Varieties
• Eating Disorders
• Childhood Mental Disorders And Illnesses
• Dissociative Disorders
• Impulse Control Disorders
• Internet Addiction And Media Issues
• Intellectual Disabilities
• Obsessive-Compulsive Spectrum Disorders
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
• Schizophrenia
• Somatic Symptom And Related Disorders
• Tourettes And Other Tic Disorders
• Physical Mental Illness Flipbook
• Suicide Rates Vector Map
• Alzheimers Disease And Other Cognitive Disorders
• Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease
• Colds And Flu
• Crohns Disease / Irritable Bowel
• Heart Disease
• High Blood Pressure
• Memory Problems
• Men's Health
• Sexually Transmitted Diseases
• Sleep Disorders
• Women's Health
• Anger Management
• Mindfulness
• Stress Reduction And Management
• Weight Loss
• Disabilities
• Domestic Violence And Rape
• Family & Relationship Issues
• Grief & Bereavement Issues
• Pain Management
• Relationship Problems
• Self Esteem
• Terrorism & War
• Health Insurance
• Health Policy & Advocacy
• Health Sciences
• Mental Health Professions
• Alternative Mental Health Medicine
• Medications
• Psychological Testing
• Psychotherapy
• Virtual Outpatient Eating Disorder Treatment
• Child Development And Parenting: Infants
• Child Development And Parenting: Early Childhood
• Sexuality & Sexual Problems
• Homosexuality & Bisexuality
• Aging & Geriatrics
• Death & Dying
• Physical Development: Motor Development
• Vygotsky's Social Developmental Emphasis
• Bullying & Peer Abuse
• Family And Relationship Issues
• Grief And Bereavement

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Divorce — My Experience of Growing Up with Divorced Parents

My Experience of Growing Up with Divorced Parents

• Categories: Divorce Parents

About this sample

Words: 407 |

Updated: 8 November, 2023

Words: 407 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Works Cited

• Amato, P. R., & Kane, J. B. (2011). Life-course pathways and the psychosocial adjustment of children of divorce. Journal of Family Issues, 32(2), 153-171.
• Emery, R. E. (2019). Two homes, one childhood: A parenting plan to last a lifetime. Penguin.
• Fabricius, W. V., & Luecken, L. J. (2007). Postdivorce living arrangements, parent conflict, and long-term physical health correlates for children of divorce. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(2), 195-205.
• Fine, M. A., & Fine, G. A. (2014). Handbook of divorce and relationship dissolution. Routledge.
• Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. Three Rivers Press.
• Hetherington, E. M., & Kelly, J. (2002). For better or for worse: Divorce reconsidered. W. W. Norton & Company.
• Irwin, R. L., & Ryan, J. M. (2013). Counseling and divorce. Springer Science & Business Media.
• Kelly, J. B., & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children's adjustment following divorce: Risk and resilience perspectives. Family Relations, 52(4), 352-362.
• Wallerstein, J. S., Lewis, J. M., & Blakeslee, S. (2000). The unexpected legacy of divorce: The 25 year landmark study. Hachette UK.
• Walsh, F. (2016). Normal family processes: Growing diversity and complexity. Guilford Publications.

Video Version

Cite this Essay

Let us write you an essay from scratch

• 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
• Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

Prof Ernest (PhD)

Verified writer

• Expert in: Life

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

1 pages / 469 words

5 pages / 2229 words

4 pages / 1801 words

2 pages / 874 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Divorce

Financial problems cause divorce—this is a statement that captures the intricate connection between financial stress and the breakdown of marital relationships. Marriage is a union built on shared dreams, responsibilities, and [...]

What is infidelity? This is having an affair outside marriage. Most people call it cheating or better still adultery. Cases of cheating are rampant nowadays. There are so many cases of spouses killing each other simply because [...]

Divorce is a complex and emotionally charged topic that affects many individuals and families. By understanding the causes, effects, and solutions related to divorce, we can better support and empathize with those going through [...]

The purpose of this essay is to elaborate on the major causes of divorce, psychological effects and how to cope with it. An increase in amount of U.S. couples divorcing is growing. Statistics stated in the essay is proof. The [...]

Divorce is a serious issue that most married couples are facing today or in other words it is the outcome that we are seeing couples that are married go through due to several reasons. Therefore, This paper will be elaborating [...]

A child's life can be destroyed just because of certain decisions that parents take. When I was 12 years old, I used to spend a lot of time with my best friend, Daniel. Daniel was always happy and enjoyed very moment of his [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

Ben Carson calls for making divorce harder

Ben Carson, who is often named as a potential running mate for Donald Trump , is out with a new book in which he calls for an end to no-fault divorce laws in the U.S.

“For the sake of families, we should enact legislation to remove or radically reduce incidences of no-fault divorce,” Carson writes in “The Perilous Fight,” released Tuesday. 

“The reason this matters is that no-fault divorce legally allows marriages to end much more quickly than in previous decades. When there are relatively few legal or financial consequences connected with divorce, it’s natural for people to gravitate toward that option when their marriage hits a rough patch,” he adds. “What those people often don’t consider, however, is the harm — both present and future — inflicted on their children once a divorce is finalized.”

The Trump campaign did not respond to a request for comment. Trump has been divorced twice.

Beginning in 1969, when then-California Gov. Ronald Reagan signed the first no-fault divorce law in the U.S., no-fault divorce has enabled millions of people to file to end their marriages for “irreconcilable differences” or without having to prove misconduct by their spouses — such as adultery or domestic violence. 

Before those laws, which now exist in every state, divorces were rarely granted and then only under strict criteria. The laws are credited with furthering women’s financial independence and safety. 

Since then, research has shown that no-fault divorce correlates with reductions in domestic violence and suicide rates among women. A 2015 study found that women are more likely than men to initiate divorces. 

Carson joins a growing list of conservative politicians and commentators who argue that no-fault divorce degrades the American family unit. 

In a 2016 sermon, now-House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., listed no-fault divorce laws as one of the causes turning the U.S. into a “ completely amoral society .” Sen. JD Vance, of Ohio, another Republican who is often talked about as a potential running mate for Trump, also has said he believes that divorce is now too easy.

“This is one of the great tricks that I think the sexual revolution pulled on the American populace, which is the idea that, like, ‘Well, OK. These marriages were fundamentally, they were maybe even violent, but, certainly, they were unhappy, and so getting rid of them and making it easier for people to shift spouses like they change their underwear, that’s going to make people happier in the long term,'” said Vance in 2021 in a video obtained by Vice News . “Maybe it worked out for the moms and dads, though I’m skeptical. But it really didn’t work out for the kids of those marriages.”

While neither Johnson nor Vance has introduced legislation on the national level to roll back no-fault divorce, action has been taken on the state level. The official GOP platforms in Texas and Nebraska call for their legislatures to rescind no-fault divorce laws. And in Oklahoma, a Republican state senator introduced legislation in January to abolish no-fault divorce laws, which has not passed.  

Carson’s book broadly advocates for a return to traditional, conservative family values. In addition to his push to end no-fault divorce, he calls for a national ban on abortion , for men to “assume the responsibility of leadership” in families and for cuts to welfare for single mothers to encourage marriage.

Abigail Brooks is a producer for NBC News.

Shaquille Brewster is a political reporter for NBC News and MSNBC.

Alec Hernández is a 2024 NBC News campaign embed.

Dasha Burns is a correspondent for NBC News.

Golf champ Rory McIlroy files for divorce after seven years of marriage

• Show more sharing options
• Copy Link URL Copied!

Pro golfer Rory McIlroy filed for divorce from his wife of seven years a day after winning his 26th PGA Tour event and just as the PGA Championship is set to begin.

The 35-year-old filed his petition Monday in Palm Beach County, Fla., saying that his marriage to Erica McIlroy (née Stoll) is “irretrievably broken,” which is comparable to citing irreconcilable differences in a divorce petition filed in California. Erica was served with divorce papers Monday and has 20 days to respond.

Can Rory McIlroy finally win the Masters to complete his elusive career grand slam?

Rory McIlroy needs to win the Masters to earn a career grand slam, but he’ll have to hold off LIV stars and his nerves to score a green jacket.

April 10, 2024

The couple, who share a 3-year-old daughter, have a pre-marital agreement, which is also mentioned in the filing.

The four-time major champion and his wife first met in 2012 when Stoll worked the Ryder Cup event for the PGA. The golfer has credited her with helping him get a police escort so that he wouldn’t miss his tee time. McIlroy was dating and engaged to tennis star Caroline Wozniacki before he and Stoll struck up a romance. McIlroy and Wozniacki broke off their engagement in 2014, just days after sending out wedding invitations. That same year, he began dating Stoll. The two wed in 2017 during a lavish ceremony at Ashford Castle in County Mayo, Ireland, and welcomed their first child in 2020.

Rory McIlroy leads Europe to another Ryder Cup win on home soil over the U.S.

Europe puts in a dominant performance to claim the Ryder Cup, with Rory McIlroy winning on Sunday to finish the week 4-1 and help secure the title.

Oct. 1, 2023

A representative for McIlroy declined to comment when reached Tuesday by The Times. In a statement issued to NBC and other outlets, McIlroy’s communications team “stressed Rory’s desire to ensure this difficult time is as respectful and amicable as possible.”

The two-time World Champion is scheduled to speak with the media Wednesday at Valhalla Golf Club in Kentucky ahead of the 106th PGA Championship this weekend.

Though ranked No. 2 in the world , McIlroy has one title that still eludes him: The Masters, played every spring in Augusta, Ga. This year the green jacket went to world No. 1 Scottie Scheffler, while a frustrated McIlroy tied for 22nd place.

More to Read

Scottie Scheffler arrested in alleged assault of officer outside PGA Championship. He still played

May 17, 2024

PGA Championship: Tiger Woods is rusty and Xander Schauffele shoots a record round

May 16, 2024

Nelly Korda puts bid for record LPGA win on hold after withdrawing from L.A. tourney

April 22, 2024

The biggest entertainment stories

Get our big stories about Hollywood, film, television, music, arts, culture and more right in your inbox as soon as they publish.

You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.

Nardine Saad covers breaking entertainment news, trending culture topics, celebrities and their kin for the Fast Break Desk at the Los Angeles Times. She joined The Times in 2010 as a MetPro trainee and has reported from homicide scenes, flooded canyons, red carpet premieres and award shows.

More From the Los Angeles Times

Hannah Green surges to win LPGA’s LA Championship for second straight year

April 28, 2024

Grace Kim and Hannah Green tied for lead in LPGA LA Championship

April 27, 2024

LPGA: Grace Kim opens four-stroke lead at Wilshire Country Club

April 26, 2024

Looking for a tee time? Here are 9 pleasant public golf courses in L.A.

April 25, 2024

Celebrate our 20th anniversary with us! Spring for an ad-free subscription!

The 'Court Of Public Opinion' Isn't Going For Trump

A new YouGov poll for Yahoo News shows that 52% of Americans now believe the central premise of Donald Trump’s hush money trial: that he did "falsify documents to conceal a hush money payment to a porn star." Just 22% say he did not, while roughly one-quarter say they don't know.

Nearly half of Americans said they were following the trial at least somewhat closely, at 48%, while 52% said they were not. 

Still, the trial itself appears to be affecting public opinion. Before the trial began last month, the same poll found that 48% believed Trump had falsified documents—a 4-point increase and a 7-point increase since March 2023.

Overall approval of the trial has also gotten a sizable bump, from a 7-point margin last month to a 12-point margin now, 49% to 37%.

In short, Trump is losing by a lot, to borrow a phrase, on most counts. Here's how the three major pillars of the prosecution's case poll:

45% believe that Trump and Stormy Daniels had sex, and just 14% disagree (the defense actually began the trial with the contention that the two did not have sex)

43% say Trump made a deal with the National Enquirer to buy and kill bad stories about him, and just 17% don't believe that

50% believe that deal was struck to protect Trump's 2016 campaign bid, and just 18% say that's false

Even among Republicans, roughly 20% or more believe the central tenets of the prosecution's case.

All that said, practically no one is excited by the case, with just 6% calling themselves enthusiastic, 31% saying they’re bored, 27% angry, and 25% saying they’re interested.

Still, the survey suggests a guilty verdict could hurt Trump in the polls. In the head-to-head match up, Trump and President Joe Biden were even at 45% among registered voters. But when asked who they would vote for if Trump is "convicted of a serious crime in the coming months,” Biden opened up a 7-point lead over his rival, with 46% to 39%. 

Likewise, half of Americans said they consider falsifying documents to conceal such a payment to be a "serious crime," while 36% did not.

Previous polling has shown that voters are taking the hush money trial seriously and a conviction could hurt Trump electorally. The findings of this new YouGov poll surely back that up.

Republished with permission from Daily Kos.

To become an ad-free subscriber please select one of the following two options. Once you click your selected plan a window will open taking you to Admiral, our ad-free partner.

If you don't mind the ads and would rather donate, please select one of the options below:

Explore more

The Legal 'Strategy' Of Mark Meadows: Confess?!?

World Polls Show US Image Improved By Getting Rid Of Traitor

BREAKING: Trump Election Interference Trial Set For March 4

Ron Johnson Goes Off The Deep End In Defense Of Trump

Trump Delaying His Trials Is Not The Flex He Thinks It Is

Dear Hillary, Maybe The Regular-Gal Thing Isn't Working

Marge Starts Something; AOC And Rep Crockett 'Finish Her'

BoBo Drools Over Trump Looking 'Pretty' While He Sleeps In Court

Republicans Gone Wild! Two GOP Named In Divorce Papers

Happening now.

Judge Box O'Wine Has Strange Thoughts On The Homeless

Latest from blue america.

AZ-01, One Of The Keys To Flipping Congress

Zach Shrewsbury Is Wrapping Up His Senate Primary Campaign Strong— And Ready To Take On Jim Justice

Even If You Don't Have A Coffee Table... This "Made In America" Coffee Table Book Is Fantastic

• Terms of Service
• Corrections

Follow Puck Worlds online:

• Follow Puck Worlds on Twitter

Site search

Filed under:

• Kontinental Hockey League

Gagarin Cup Preview: Atlant vs. Salavat Yulaev

Share this story.

• Share this on Facebook
• Share this on Twitter
• Share this on Reddit
• Share All sharing options

Share All sharing options for: Gagarin Cup Preview: Atlant vs. Salavat Yulaev

Gagarin cup (khl) finals:  atlant moscow oblast vs. salavat yulaev ufa.

Much like the Elitserien Finals, we have a bit of an offense vs. defense match-up in this league Final.  While Ufa let their star top line of Alexander Radulov, Patrick Thoresen and Igor Grigorenko loose on the KHL's Western Conference, Mytischi played a more conservative style, relying on veterans such as former NHLers Jan Bulis, Oleg Petrov, and Jaroslav Obsut.  Just reaching the Finals is a testament to Atlant's disciplined style of play, as they had to knock off much more high profile teams from Yaroslavl and St. Petersburg to do so.  But while they did finish 8th in the league in points, they haven't seen the likes of Ufa, who finished 2nd. 

This series will be a challenge for the underdog, because unlike some of the other KHL teams, Ufa's top players are generally younger and in their prime.  Only Proshkin amongst regular blueliners is over 30, with the work being shared by Kirill Koltsov (28), Andrei Kuteikin (26), Miroslav Blatak (28), Maxim Kondratiev (28) and Dmitri Kalinin (30).  Oleg Tverdovsky hasn't played a lot in the playoffs to date.  Up front, while led by a fairly young top line (24-27), Ufa does have a lot of veterans in support roles:  Vyacheslav Kozlov , Viktor Kozlov , Vladimir Antipov, Sergei Zinovyev and Petr Schastlivy are all over 30.  In fact, the names of all their forwards are familiar to international and NHL fans:  Robert Nilsson , Alexander Svitov, Oleg Saprykin and Jakub Klepis round out the group, all former NHL players.

For Atlant, their veteran roster, with only one of their top six D under the age of 30 (and no top forwards under 30, either), this might be their one shot at a championship.  The team has never won either a Russian Superleague title or the Gagarin Cup, and for players like former NHLer Oleg Petrov, this is probably the last shot at the KHL's top prize.  The team got three extra days rest by winning their Conference Final in six games, and they probably needed to use it.  Atlant does have younger regulars on their roster, but they generally only play a few shifts per game, if that. 

The low event style of game for Atlant probably suits them well, but I don't know how they can manage to keep up against Ufa's speed, skill, and depth.  There is no advantage to be seen in goal, with Erik Ersberg and Konstantin Barulin posting almost identical numbers, and even in terms of recent playoff experience Ufa has them beat.  Luckily for Atlant, Ufa isn't that far away from the Moscow region, so travel shouldn't play a major role. 

I'm predicting that Ufa, winners of the last Superleague title back in 2008, will become the second team to win the Gagarin Cup, and will prevail in five games.  They have a seriously well built team that would honestly compete in the NHL.  They represent the potential of the league, while Atlant represents closer to the reality, as a team full of players who played themselves out of the NHL. 

• Atlant @ Ufa, Friday Apr 8 (3:00 PM CET/10:00 PM EST)
• Atlant @ Ufa, Sunday Apr 10 (1:00 PM CET/8:00 AM EST)
• Ufa @ Atlant, Tuesday Apr 12 (5:30 PM CET/12:30 PM EST)
• Ufa @ Atlant, Thursday Apr 14 (5:30 PM CET/12:30 PM EST)

Games 5-7 are as yet unscheduled, but every second day is the KHL standard, so expect Game 5 to be on Saturday, like an early start. 

Loading comments...

• Top Stories More News
• Today's National Outlook
• Hurricane Tracker
• Snow & Ski Forecast
• Cold & Flu
• Allergy Forecast
• Fire Updates
• Traffic Cameras
• Weather Cameras
• Outdoor Sports Guide