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Help: How Do I Help Friends Who Struggle With Homework?

Welcome back to another article of Simply Advice! If you didn’t know, Simply Advice covers different categories like “Choices”, “Finance Matters”, “Help” and more! Today’s “Help” article is slightly interesting but crazily prevalent in schools and even private tuitions in Singapore. When Your Friend Asks You For Help With HOMEWORK!!!! It might seem trivial, “just send the answer lah” is one of the common replies you’d hear. On the other hand, some would just say “do it yourself lah”! And some, maybe like you, would be in a dilemma – to help or not. Today, we discuss some suggestions you could adopt in such a situation.

Never Just Give The Answer

Firstly, it’s important to note that in whatever situation, you should never ever just provide your friend/best friend/girlfriend/boyfriend the answer to homework. It’s not meaningful at all! No matter the circumstances (deadline approaching or you’re too busy to explain or you’re too lazy to explain or they’re your close friend), nothing would ever beat taking homework seriously and trying it. Copying (or referring) will never ever be an effective learning method at all! Teachers and private tutors assign homework for you students so that you guys can get a hand at applying knowledge you’ve learnt in class or during home tuition. If you don’t know how to do it, it’s an indicator that maybe you need to work on the foundations of the topic! Homework is key to application of content taught, so do your friend a favour and never ever give the answer directly. Maybe guiding steps or hints could help them trigger the thought process, so at least they’re trying it on their own. Get what I mean?

Revisit Their Poor Concepts

To better help friends who struggle with homework, you might want to consider revisiting the concepts they’re not so good at with them. Put the homework aside for a while and focus on revisiting materials provided by the school or home tutor to grow a better understanding of the topic. This way, you might be able to help fill up the gaps in your friends’ understanding, and it would definitely serve as good revision for yourself too! Do you know that when you explain concepts to someone, you’re actually practising the application aspect of content too? This is because regurgitating content versus actually explaining it to someone is really really different! To really explain a concept to someone who doesn’t understand it would require rephrasing and really a deep foundation in that field. You are doing yourself a favour by doing someone a favour! In society today, we can never survive alone. Collaboration usually leads to more fruitful outcomes. Start young, start from homework!

Suggest To Go For Consultations (Maybe Together?)

If all else fails and you realise that you actually also do not understand some concepts while in the process of explaining to your confused friend, it might be time to possibly go for a consultation with the teacher together! Or even if you don’t need it, but your friend still doesn’t understand your explanation, then you might want to suggest for your friend to meet the teacher for further clarification. A common problem in schools in Singapore is that students do not dare to meet the teachers for consultation though, so if you are not uncomfortable with accompanying your friend, offering to do so might be helpful for them! After all, it doesn’t kill doing a good deed does it? Going for a consultation with your friend is also a positive experience for yourself. With the comfort of the consultation being of a smaller group, it will be a good time to clarify doubts in general with regards to the subject as well.

If you caught literally nothing from the article, here’s the important thing. There are so many other better ways to help friends who struggle with homework than to simply send your answers to them or ignore them. There is so much good energy that can come out of taking the ‘extra’ step to help them fruitfully. As a leading Singapore tuition agency , FamilyTutor urges you to try this one day, and you will realise that if everyone was like this, school would be a way more positive and enjoyable environment for everyone to learn together. Be that change today!

By the way, the ‘Simply Advice’ series conveniently gives you information that is useful any day any time. It aims to shed some light on pertinent topics and provide you with the best advice!

Zoe is an undergraduate student in Singapore who loves thinking deeply and translating them into writing. She hopes her reflective opinions and sound advice weaved into relevant articles will be useful for you in one way or another!

Tell Zoe Below What You Think About Her Post!

About familytutor.

FamilyTutor is an established home tuition agency in Singapore! We match suitable home tutors for our clients not just to improve the students' academic grades, but also to build a strong rapport and meaningful relationship with the students and even the their whole family. FamilyTutor put every student in good hands! If you need an excellent home tutor, feel free to call/WhatsApp us at +65 8777-2168! Our matching service is free!

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, how to do homework: 15 expert tips and tricks.

Coursework/GPA

Everyone struggles with homework sometimes, but if getting your homework done has become a chronic issue for you, then you may need a little extra help. That’s why we’ve written this article all about how to do homework. Once you’re finished reading it, you’ll know how to do homework (and have tons of new ways to motivate yourself to do homework)!

We’ve broken this article down into a few major sections. You’ll find:

• A diagnostic test to help you figure out why you’re struggling with homework
• A discussion of the four major homework problems students face, along with expert tips for addressing them
• A bonus section with tips for how to do homework fast

By the end of this article, you’ll be prepared to tackle whatever homework assignments your teachers throw at you .

So let’s get started!

How to Do Homework: Figure Out Your Struggles 

Sometimes it feels like everything is standing between you and getting your homework done. But the truth is, most people only have one or two major roadblocks that are keeping them from getting their homework done well and on time. 

The best way to figure out how to get motivated to do homework starts with pinpointing the issues that are affecting your ability to get your assignments done. That’s why we’ve developed a short quiz to help you identify the areas where you’re struggling. 

Take the quiz below and record your answers on your phone or on a scrap piece of paper. Keep in mind there are no wrong answers! 

1. You’ve just been assigned an essay in your English class that’s due at the end of the week. What’s the first thing you do?

A. Keep it in mind, even though you won’t start it until the day before it’s due  B. Open up your planner. You’ve got to figure out when you’ll write your paper since you have band practice, a speech tournament, and your little sister’s dance recital this week, too.  C. Groan out loud. Another essay? You could barely get yourself to write the last one!  D. Start thinking about your essay topic, which makes you think about your art project that’s due the same day, which reminds you that your favorite artist might have just posted to Instagram...so you better check your feed right now. 

2. Your mom asked you to pick up your room before she gets home from work. You’ve just gotten home from school. You decide you’ll tackle your chores: 

A. Five minutes before your mom walks through the front door. As long as it gets done, who cares when you start?  B. As soon as you get home from your shift at the local grocery store.  C. After you give yourself a 15-minute pep talk about how you need to get to work.  D. You won’t get it done. Between texts from your friends, trying to watch your favorite Netflix show, and playing with your dog, you just lost track of time! 

3. You’ve signed up to wash dogs at the Humane Society to help earn money for your senior class trip. You: 

A. Show up ten minutes late. You put off leaving your house until the last minute, then got stuck in unexpected traffic on the way to the shelter.  B. Have to call and cancel at the last minute. You forgot you’d already agreed to babysit your cousin and bake cupcakes for tomorrow’s bake sale.  C. Actually arrive fifteen minutes early with extra brushes and bandanas you picked up at the store. You’re passionate about animals, so you’re excited to help out! D. Show up on time, but only get three dogs washed. You couldn’t help it: you just kept getting distracted by how cute they were!

4. You have an hour of downtime, so you decide you’re going to watch an episode of The Great British Baking Show. You: 

A. Scroll through your social media feeds for twenty minutes before hitting play, which means you’re not able to finish the whole episode. Ugh! You really wanted to see who was sent home!  B. Watch fifteen minutes until you remember you’re supposed to pick up your sister from band practice before heading to your part-time job. No GBBO for you!  C. You finish one episode, then decide to watch another even though you’ve got SAT studying to do. It’s just more fun to watch people make scones.  D. Start the episode, but only catch bits and pieces of it because you’re reading Twitter, cleaning out your backpack, and eating a snack at the same time.

5. Your teacher asks you to stay after class because you’ve missed turning in two homework assignments in a row. When she asks you what’s wrong, you say: 

A. You planned to do your assignments during lunch, but you ran out of time. You decided it would be better to turn in nothing at all than submit unfinished work.  B. You really wanted to get the assignments done, but between your extracurriculars, family commitments, and your part-time job, your homework fell through the cracks.  C. You have a hard time psyching yourself to tackle the assignments. You just can’t seem to find the motivation to work on them once you get home.  D. You tried to do them, but you had a hard time focusing. By the time you realized you hadn’t gotten anything done, it was already time to turn them in. 

Like we said earlier, there are no right or wrong answers to this quiz (though your results will be better if you answered as honestly as possible). Here’s how your answers break down: 

• If your answers were mostly As, then your biggest struggle with doing homework is procrastination. 
• If your answers were mostly Bs, then your biggest struggle with doing homework is time management. 
• If your answers were mostly Cs, then your biggest struggle with doing homework is motivation. 
• If your answers were mostly Ds, then your biggest struggle with doing homework is getting distracted. 

Now that you’ve identified why you’re having a hard time getting your homework done, we can help you figure out how to fix it! Scroll down to find your core problem area to learn more about how you can start to address it. 

And one more thing: you’re really struggling with homework, it’s a good idea to read through every section below. You may find some additional tips that will help make homework less intimidating. 

How to Do Homework When You’re a Procrastinator  

Merriam Webster defines “procrastinate” as “to put off intentionally and habitually.” In other words, procrastination is when you choose to do something at the last minute on a regular basis. If you’ve ever found yourself pulling an all-nighter, trying to finish an assignment between periods, or sprinting to turn in a paper minutes before a deadline, you’ve experienced the effects of procrastination. 

If you’re a chronic procrastinator, you’re in good company. In fact, one study found that 70% to 95% of undergraduate students procrastinate when it comes to doing their homework. Unfortunately, procrastination can negatively impact your grades. Researchers have found that procrastination can lower your grade on an assignment by as much as five points ...which might not sound serious until you realize that can mean the difference between a B- and a C+. 

Procrastination can also negatively affect your health by increasing your stress levels , which can lead to other health conditions like insomnia, a weakened immune system, and even heart conditions. Getting a handle on procrastination can not only improve your grades, it can make you feel better, too! 

The big thing to understand about procrastination is that it’s not the result of laziness. Laziness is defined as being “disinclined to activity or exertion.” In other words, being lazy is all about doing nothing. But a s this Psychology Today article explains , procrastinators don’t put things off because they don’t want to work. Instead, procrastinators tend to postpone tasks they don’t want to do in favor of tasks that they perceive as either more important or more fun. Put another way, procrastinators want to do things...as long as it’s not their homework! 

3 Tips f or Conquering Procrastination 

Because putting off doing homework is a common problem, there are lots of good tactics for addressing procrastination. Keep reading for our three expert tips that will get your homework habits back on track in no time. 

#1: Create a Reward System

Like we mentioned earlier, procrastination happens when you prioritize other activities over getting your homework done. Many times, this happens because homework...well, just isn’t enjoyable. But you can add some fun back into the process by rewarding yourself for getting your work done. 

Here’s what we mean: let’s say you decide that every time you get your homework done before the day it’s due, you’ll give yourself a point. For every five points you earn, you’ll treat yourself to your favorite dessert: a chocolate cupcake! Now you have an extra (delicious!) incentive to motivate you to leave procrastination in the dust. 

If you’re not into cupcakes, don’t worry. Your reward can be anything that motivates you . Maybe it’s hanging out with your best friend or an extra ten minutes of video game time. As long as you’re choosing something that makes homework worth doing, you’ll be successful. 

#2: Have a Homework Accountability Partner 

If you’re having trouble getting yourself to start your homework ahead of time, it may be a good idea to call in reinforcements . Find a friend or classmate you can trust and explain to them that you’re trying to change your homework habits. Ask them if they’d be willing to text you to make sure you’re doing your homework and check in with you once a week to see if you’re meeting your anti-procrastination goals. 

Sharing your goals can make them feel more real, and an accountability partner can help hold you responsible for your decisions. For example, let’s say you’re tempted to put off your science lab write-up until the morning before it’s due. But you know that your accountability partner is going to text you about it tomorrow...and you don’t want to fess up that you haven’t started your assignment. A homework accountability partner can give you the extra support and incentive you need to keep your homework habits on track. 

#3: Create Your Own Due Dates 

If you’re a life-long procrastinator, you might find that changing the habit is harder than you expected. In that case, you might try using procrastination to your advantage! If you just can’t seem to stop doing your work at the last minute, try setting your own due dates for assignments that range from a day to a week before the assignment is actually due. 

Here’s what we mean. Let’s say you have a math worksheet that’s been assigned on Tuesday and is due on Friday. In your planner, you can write down the due date as Thursday instead. You may still put off your homework assignment until the last minute...but in this case, the “last minute” is a day before the assignment’s real due date . This little hack can trick your procrastination-addicted brain into planning ahead! 

If you feel like Kevin Hart in this meme, then our tips for doing homework when you're busy are for you. 

How to Do Homework When You’re too Busy

If you’re aiming to go to a top-tier college , you’re going to have a full plate. Because college admissions is getting more competitive, it’s important that you’re maintaining your grades , studying hard for your standardized tests , and participating in extracurriculars so your application stands out. A packed schedule can get even more hectic once you add family obligations or a part-time job to the mix. 

If you feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions at once, you’re not alone. Recent research has found that stress—and more severe stress-related conditions like anxiety and depression— are a major problem for high school students . In fact, one study from the American Psychological Association found that during the school year, students’ stress levels are higher than those of the adults around them. 

For students, homework is a major contributor to their overall stress levels . Many high schoolers have multiple hours of homework every night , and figuring out how to fit it into an already-packed schedule can seem impossible. 

3 Tips for Fitting Homework Into Your Busy Schedule

While it might feel like you have literally no time left in your schedule, there are still ways to make sure you’re able to get your homework done and meet your other commitments. Here are our expert homework tips for even the busiest of students. 

#1: Make a Prioritized To-Do List 

You probably already have a to-do list to keep yourself on track. The next step is to prioritize the items on your to-do list so you can see what items need your attention right away. 

Here’s how it works: at the beginning of each day, sit down and make a list of all the items you need to get done before you go to bed. This includes your homework, but it should also take into account any practices, chores, events, or job shifts you may have. Once you get everything listed out, it’s time to prioritize them using the labels A, B, and C. Here’s what those labels mean:

• A Tasks : tasks that have to get done—like showing up at work or turning in an assignment—get an A. 
• B Tasks : these are tasks that you would like to get done by the end of the day but aren’t as time sensitive. For example, studying for a test you have next week could be a B-level task. It’s still important, but it doesn’t have to be done right away.
• C Tasks: these are tasks that aren’t very important and/or have no real consequences if you don’t get them done immediately. For instance, if you’re hoping to clean out your closet but it’s not an assigned chore from your parents, you could label that to-do item with a C.

Prioritizing your to-do list helps you visualize which items need your immediate attention, and which items you can leave for later. A prioritized to-do list ensures that you’re spending your time efficiently and effectively, which helps you make room in your schedule for homework. So even though you might really want to start making decorations for Homecoming (a B task), you’ll know that finishing your reading log (an A task) is more important. 

#2: Use a Planner With Time Labels

Your planner is probably packed with notes, events, and assignments already. (And if you’re not using a planner, it’s time to start!) But planners can do more for you than just remind you when an assignment is due. If you’re using a planner with time labels, it can help you visualize how you need to spend your day.

A planner with time labels breaks your day down into chunks, and you assign tasks to each chunk of time. For example, you can make a note of your class schedule with assignments, block out time to study, and make sure you know when you need to be at practice. Once you know which tasks take priority, you can add them to any empty spaces in your day. 

Planning out how you spend your time not only helps you use it wisely, it can help you feel less overwhelmed, too . We’re big fans of planners that include a task list ( like this one ) or have room for notes ( like this one ). 

#3: Set Reminders on Your Phone 

If you need a little extra nudge to make sure you’re getting your homework done on time, it’s a good idea to set some reminders on your phone. You don’t need a fancy app, either. You can use your alarm app to have it go off at specific times throughout the day to remind you to do your homework. This works especially well if you have a set homework time scheduled. So if you’ve decided you’re doing homework at 6:00 pm, you can set an alarm to remind you to bust out your books and get to work. 

If you use your phone as your planner, you may have the option to add alerts, emails, or notifications to scheduled events . Many calendar apps, including the one that comes with your phone, have built-in reminders that you can customize to meet your needs. So if you block off time to do your homework from 4:30 to 6:00 pm, you can set a reminder that will pop up on your phone when it’s time to get started. 

This dog isn't judging your lack of motivation...but your teacher might. Keep reading for tips to help you motivate yourself to do your homework.

How to Do Homework When You’re Unmotivated 

At first glance, it may seem like procrastination and being unmotivated are the same thing. After all, both of these issues usually result in you putting off your homework until the very last minute. 

But there’s one key difference: many procrastinators are working, they’re just prioritizing work differently. They know they’re going to start their homework...they’re just going to do it later. 

Conversely, people who are unmotivated to do homework just can’t find the willpower to tackle their assignments. Procrastinators know they’ll at least attempt the homework at the last minute, whereas people who are unmotivated struggle with convincing themselves to do it at a ll. For procrastinators, the stress comes from the inevitable time crunch. For unmotivated people, the stress comes from trying to convince themselves to do something they don’t want to do in the first place. 

Here are some common reasons students are unmotivated in doing homework : 

• Assignments are too easy, too hard, or seemingly pointless 
• Students aren’t interested in (or passionate about) the subject matter
• Students are intimidated by the work and/or feels like they don’t understand the assignment 
• Homework isn’t fun, and students would rather spend their time on things that they enjoy 

To sum it up: people who lack motivation to do their homework are more likely to not do it at all, or to spend more time worrying about doing their homework than...well, actually doing it.

3 Tips for How to Get Motivated to Do Homework

The key to getting homework done when you’re unmotivated is to figure out what does motivate you, then apply those things to homework. It sounds tricky...but it’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it! Here are our three expert tips for motivating yourself to do your homework. 

#1: Use Incremental Incentives

When you’re not motivated, it’s important to give yourself small rewards to stay focused on finishing the task at hand. The trick is to keep the incentives small and to reward yourself often. For example, maybe you’re reading a good book in your free time. For every ten minutes you spend on your homework, you get to read five pages of your book. Like we mentioned earlier, make sure you’re choosing a reward that works for you! 

So why does this technique work? Using small rewards more often allows you to experience small wins for getting your work done. Every time you make it to one of your tiny reward points, you get to celebrate your success, which gives your brain a boost of dopamine . Dopamine helps you stay motivated and also creates a feeling of satisfaction when you complete your homework !  

#2: Form a Homework Group 

If you’re having trouble motivating yourself, it’s okay to turn to others for support. Creating a homework group can help with this. Bring together a group of your friends or classmates, and pick one time a week where you meet and work on homework together. You don’t have to be in the same class, or even taking the same subjects— the goal is to encourage one another to start (and finish!) your assignments. 

Another added benefit of a homework group is that you can help one another if you’re struggling to understand the material covered in your classes. This is especially helpful if your lack of motivation comes from being intimidated by your assignments. Asking your friends for help may feel less scary than talking to your teacher...and once you get a handle on the material, your homework may become less frightening, too. 

#3: Change Up Your Environment 

If you find that you’re totally unmotivated, it may help if you find a new place to do your homework. For example, if you’ve been struggling to get your homework done at home, try spending an extra hour in the library after school instead. The change of scenery can limit your distractions and give you the energy you need to get your work done. 

If you’re stuck doing homework at home, you can still use this tip. For instance, maybe you’ve always done your homework sitting on your bed. Try relocating somewhere else, like your kitchen table, for a few weeks. You may find that setting up a new “homework spot” in your house gives you a motivational lift and helps you get your work done. 

Social media can be a huge problem when it comes to doing homework. We have advice for helping you unplug and regain focus.

How to Do Homework When You’re Easily Distracted

We live in an always-on world, and there are tons of things clamoring for our attention. From friends and family to pop culture and social media, it seems like there’s always something (or someone!) distracting us from the things we need to do.

The 24/7 world we live in has affected our ability to focus on tasks for prolonged periods of time. Research has shown that over the past decade, an average person’s attention span has gone from 12 seconds to eight seconds . And when we do lose focus, i t takes people a long time to get back on task . One study found that it can take as long as 23 minutes to get back to work once we’ve been distracte d. No wonder it can take hours to get your homework done! 

3 Tips to Improve Your Focus

If you have a hard time focusing when you’re doing your homework, it’s a good idea to try and eliminate as many distractions as possible. Here are three expert tips for blocking out the noise so you can focus on getting your homework done. 

#1: Create a Distraction-Free Environment

Pick a place where you’ll do your homework every day, and make it as distraction-free as possible. Try to find a location where there won’t be tons of noise, and limit your access to screens while you’re doing your homework. Put together a focus-oriented playlist (or choose one on your favorite streaming service), and put your headphones on while you work. 

You may find that other people, like your friends and family, are your biggest distraction. If that’s the case, try setting up some homework boundaries. Let them know when you’ll be working on homework every day, and ask them if they’ll help you keep a quiet environment. They’ll be happy to lend a hand! 

#2: Limit Your Access to Technology 

We know, we know...this tip isn’t fun, but it does work. For homework that doesn’t require a computer, like handouts or worksheets, it’s best to put all your technology away . Turn off your television, put your phone and laptop in your backpack, and silence notifications on any wearable tech you may be sporting. If you listen to music while you work, that’s fine...but make sure you have a playlist set up so you’re not shuffling through songs once you get started on your homework. 

If your homework requires your laptop or tablet, it can be harder to limit your access to distractions. But it’s not impossible! T here are apps you can download that will block certain websites while you’re working so that you’re not tempted to scroll through Twitter or check your Facebook feed. Silence notifications and text messages on your computer, and don’t open your email account unless you absolutely have to. And if you don’t need access to the internet to complete your assignments, turn off your WiFi. Cutting out the online chatter is a great way to make sure you’re getting your homework done. 

#3: Set a Timer (the Pomodoro Technique)

Have you ever heard of the Pomodoro technique ? It’s a productivity hack that uses a timer to help you focus!

Here’s how it works: first, set a timer for 25 minutes. This is going to be your work time. During this 25 minutes, all you can do is work on whatever homework assignment you have in front of you. No email, no text messaging, no phone calls—just homework. When that timer goes off, you get to take a 5 minute break. Every time you go through one of these cycles, it’s called a “pomodoro.” For every four pomodoros you complete, you can take a longer break of 15 to 30 minutes.

The pomodoro technique works through a combination of boundary setting and rewards. First, it gives you a finite amount of time to focus, so you know that you only have to work really hard for 25 minutes. Once you’ve done that, you’re rewarded with a short break where you can do whatever you want. Additionally, tracking how many pomodoros you complete can help you see how long you’re really working on your homework. (Once you start using our focus tips, you may find it doesn’t take as long as you thought!)

Two Bonus Tips for How to Do Homework Fast

Even if you’re doing everything right, there will be times when you just need to get your homework done as fast as possible. (Why do teachers always have projects due in the same week? The world may never know.)

The problem with speeding through homework is that it’s easy to make mistakes. While turning in an assignment is always better than not submitting anything at all, you want to make sure that you’re not compromising quality for speed. Simply put, the goal is to get your homework done quickly and still make a good grade on the assignment! 

Here are our two bonus tips for getting a decent grade on your homework assignments , even when you’re in a time crunch. 

#1: Do the Easy Parts First 

This is especially true if you’re working on a handout with multiple questions. Before you start working on the assignment, read through all the questions and problems. As you do, make a mark beside the questions you think are “easy” to answer . 

Once you’ve finished going through the whole assignment, you can answer these questions first. Getting the easy questions out of the way as quickly as possible lets you spend more time on the trickier portions of your homework, which will maximize your assignment grade. 

(Quick note: this is also a good strategy to use on timed assignments and tests, like the SAT and the ACT !) 

#2: Pay Attention in Class 

Homework gets a lot easier when you’re actively learning the material. Teachers aren’t giving you homework because they’re mean or trying to ruin your weekend... it’s because they want you to really understand the course material. Homework is designed to reinforce what you’re already learning in class so you’ll be ready to tackle harder concepts later.

When you pay attention in class, ask questions, and take good notes, you’re absorbing the information you’ll need to succeed on your homework assignments. (You’re stuck in class anyway, so you might as well make the most of it!) Not only will paying attention in class make your homework less confusing, it will also help it go much faster, too.

What’s Next?

If you’re looking to improve your productivity beyond homework, a good place to begin is with time management. After all, we only have so much time in a day...so it’s important to get the most out of it! To get you started, check out this list of the 12 best time management techniques that you can start using today.

You may have read this article because homework struggles have been affecting your GPA. Now that you’re on the path to homework success, it’s time to start being proactive about raising your grades. This article teaches you everything you need to know about raising your GPA so you can

Now you know how to get motivated to do homework...but what about your study habits? Studying is just as critical to getting good grades, and ultimately getting into a good college . We can teach you how to study bette r in high school. (We’ve also got tons of resources to help you study for your ACT and SAT exams , too!)

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How to Find Motivation to Do Homework

Last Updated: January 31, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jake Adams and by wikiHow staff writer, Megaera Lorenz, PhD . Jake Adams is an academic tutor and the owner of Simplifi EDU, a Santa Monica, California based online tutoring business offering learning resources and online tutors for academic subjects K-College, SAT & ACT prep, and college admissions applications. With over 14 years of professional tutoring experience, Jake is dedicated to providing his clients the very best online tutoring experience and access to a network of excellent undergraduate and graduate-level tutors from top colleges all over the nation. Jake holds a BS in International Business and Marketing from Pepperdine University. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 1,702,713 times.

Even if you love school, it can be hard to stay excited about doing homework. Just like with any other kind of work, it’s important to set personal goals and find your own inspiration to keep going. You can also help yourself focus by minimizing distractions and caring for yourself while you work. Finally, organize your time wisely and break your homework up into manageable pieces so it doesn’t feel too overwhelming.

Finding Your Drive and Inspiration

• Give yourself bigger rewards for bigger accomplishments. For example, you might go out for pizza with a friend after handing in an important paper.

• Just make sure you limit yourself to a specific amount of time (like 10 minutes, for example) so that you don’t end up getting totally distracted and wasting a few hours.

Did you know? Researchers in Japan recently discovered that looking at pictures or videos of baby animals before you start working can make you much more productive. [3] X Trustworthy Source PLOS ONE Online peer-reviewed, open access scientific research journal Go to source So, go ahead and watch a couple of cute kitten videos on YouTube the next time you need to work on a boring assignment. It might help!

• Doing homework with a friend doesn’t necessarily mean collaborating on the same assignments. You can just spend time together while you each do your own work. Only get your parent to help you if you need help.
• Check with your teacher first before working together with a friend on an assignment. They may want you to do the work by yourself.

• For example, if you’re a morning person, try doing your homework right after you eat breakfast.
• If you tend to get distracted while working at your desk at home, experiment with doing your homework in the library or a coffee shop instead.
• Some people also find it helpful to change their routine from time to time. If you find yourself getting bored, try working at a different time from usual or finding a new study space.

• Setting vague goals can lead to frustration. Instead of saying, “I’m going to get all my homework done this week,” try something more specific—e.g., “I’m going to work on my English essay for 1 hour every day this week.”

• For example, maybe you want to get good grades so you can get into your dream college, or possibly you’re working towards an exciting career.
• Doing a good job in your classes can also be its own reward—knowing that you worked hard and did your best is a great self-esteem booster!

Keeping Yourself Focused and Alert

• If you feel physically tense, do some yoga or light stretches before you begin to work.
• Doing breathing exercises can also help you feel more comfortable and alert.
• If you’re not already in comfy clothes, get changed before you start working. This may mean joggers, sweatpants, pjs, shorts, underwear, or even being completely naked. It's your choice.

• You’ll want a place where you can sit comfortably, but don’t get too comfortable. If you do homework in bed or on a cozy couch, you may be tempted to fall asleep!
• If you have to work at home, ask anyone who lives with you to give you a little quiet time while you do your homework.

• If you can’t resist messing around on your phone or visiting time-wasting websites on your computer, consider installing an app or a browser extension that blocks tempting apps and sites.
• Don’t try to work with a TV or radio on. If you listen to music while you do your homework, choose something that’s quiet and not too exciting, like some gentle classical music.

• Whole grains
• Healthy proteins, like fish, beans, or nuts
• Blueberries
• Leafy greens

• During your breaks, you can go for a walk, have a snack, do a little meditation , or even put your head down for a quick power nap .
• You can also use your breaks to reward yourself with a fun video or a quick game on your phone.

Did you know? Walking can improve your thinking skills. If you’re feeling stuck on a problem, going for a quick walk or even hopping on a treadmill can help! [13] X Research source

• For example, if you’ve been working on an essay for an hour or two, take a break and then switch to doing some math problems.
• Don’t try to do more than one task at once, though. Trying to multitask will disrupt your focus and cause you to make more mistakes.

Organizing Your Time Effectively

• Setting a schedule also makes it easier to avoid procrastinating .
• Make sure to schedule in time for breaks and relaxation, too!

Tip: You can avoid unpleasant surprises by writing important dates and deadlines into your schedule. For example, make note of when you have tests or quizzes coming up or when different assignments are due.

• Make an ordered list of all your tasks. Try to prioritize ones that are due soon, count towards a major part of your grade, or seem like they will be the most complicated to complete.
• Put assignments that aren’t due for a while or that you know you can finish quickly and easily at the bottom.

• For example, if you’re writing a big paper, you might break it up into pieces like doing the research, composing a bibliography, writing an outline, drafting the introduction, and so on.

• Productivity apps are helpful for some people, but they’re not for everyone. Make sure you don’t spend so much time worrying about the app that it starts to cut into your homework time! [19] X Research source

Supercharge Your Studying with this Expert Series

Community Q&A

Tips from our Readers

• Start your homework as soon as you get home from school (you may need a small snack first) instead of watching tv or using the computer. If you start another activity, it will be harder to stop it to switch to homework. Go straight to homework and think of TV and the computer as your reward for finishing.
• Sometimes I have a lot of work to do and it seems overwhelming, even if the work isn't hard. If I close my eyes and imagine myself doing my homework, it doesn't feel as intimidating and gives me the feeling that I can do it.
• Make a homework playlist in your music app and play every time you sit down to study. If music with lyrics distracts you, try looking up "study playlists" and "homework playlists," as they're usually just instrumentals.
• If you can, have your parents drop you off at the library after school for an hour (or however long your homework would take) so you can stay focused. There isn't much to do at the library and it's quiet.
• Take short breaks to rest your mind for a little while so that it is ready to get back to work. This works for a lot of people who just need to decompress after a long period of working and hard thinking!
• Think about having free time after the homework to do what you want. Also, think about having the homework done, being stress-free, and not getting in trouble because you didn't do your homework.
• Dedicate a space in your house to homework and decorate it. Make your homework space a place you like to be.
• Work with a buddy who doesn't get as distracted as you. This way, your buddy can help you stay focused.
• Chewing on gum can help you stay alert and focused if you're feeling tired or distracted.

You Might Also Like

• ↑ Jake Adams. Academic Tutor & Test Prep Specialist. Expert Interview. 20 May 2020.
• ↑ https://www.oxford-royale.co.uk/articles/tips-studying-motivation.html
• ↑ https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0046362
• ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/how-should-students-study-tips-advice-and-pitfalls
• ↑ https://www.umassd.edu/fycm/goal-setting/resources/smartgoals/
• ↑ https://allianzassistancehealth.com.au/en/living-in-australia/studying-motivation-tips-university/
• ↑ https://www.wgu.edu/blog/improve-online-study-environment1712.html
• ↑ https://share.upmc.com/2019/08/healthy-snacks-to-power-studying/
• ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/homework.html
• ↑ https://news.stanford.edu/2014/04/24/walking-vs-sitting-042414/
• ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/studying-101-study-smarter-not-harder/
• ↑ https://www.aiuniv.edu/blog/2016/april/4-steps-to-prioritize-tasks
• ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/aug/18/time-management-apps-work-life-balance-productivity

About This Article

To find the motivation to do your homework, give yourself small rewards after you accomplish a goal, like a 5 minute video after finishing a reading assignment. For larger accomplishments, like completing an important paper, give yourself a bigger reward, like going out for pizza with friends. You can also try giving yourself a treat, like a scoop of ice cream or 10 minutes to text your best friend, before you begin working to lift your mood and make you more productive. If you have a friend who won’t distract you, see if they want to do homework together so you can keep each other on track. To learn how to pick the best time and place to do your homework, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Posted on October 8, 2019 by confidentparentsconfidentkids

Frustrations over Homework? Practice this Coping Strategy…

Research confirms that short breaks help a person’s brain refresh and process. Staring at the page may not produce any new thinking in your child and in fact, staying there when irritated can burn valuable fuel and decrease motivation to put in the hard work necessary to get through the learning process.

But if he walks away, gets some fresh air, or moves a bit, he might feel differently. This small change of scenery can boost thinking skills in powerful ways. He can think more clearly and become a better problem-solver when he returns. He may even gain some new ideas or solutions to his problem removed from the work setting. This functions in the same way that we experience the “shower effect.” Do you get your best ideas in the shower too? Or perhaps your most creative thoughts come when you are driving in the car with no laptop or notepad at the ready? Or maybe when you’ve laid down to go to sleep for the night, your brain starts firing off brilliant thoughts. In order to access our top thinking skills, we require a mental rest. Consider that a short brain break for your child is working with their natural thinking processes to facilitate them, not fight against them.

So although our intention to promote grit and “stick-to-attive-ness” in our children comes from a genuine hope to help them be successful, teaching and promoting brain breaks can help children learn to manage their emotions more effectively while working. And in addition, they may be able to extend their focused attention when they return to work with added motivation from the fuel they’ve gained.

Here are some simple ways to teach, practice, and promote the essential brain break.

Talk about the Brain Break during a regular (non-frustrating) homework time.

Or if homework is consistently frustrating, then pick a non-homework time to talk about how to take brain breaks.

Brainstorm ideas.

See if you can come up with a few ideas together. What can your child do when taking a brain break? You might ask: “ What makes you feel better or gives you comfort when you’re feeling frustrated? ” You can share some restorative ideas like walking outside and breathing in the fresh air, doing some jumping jacks or a yoga pose, getting a drink of water, or visiting a favorite stuffed friend. For young children, imitate your favorite animal. Hop like a bunny or jump from limb to limb like a squirrel. For older children, listen to your favorite song or play on a musical instrument. Have your child write or draw their ideas. Keep that paper in your homework location so that when it’s needed, you can remind your child to take a look at what ideas she’s had and pick one. Daniel Goleman’s book entitled “ Focus; The Hidden Driver of Excellence ” recommends getting outside in nature as one of the most restorative (and just stepping outside your front door counts!). He also writes that checking email, surfing the web, or playing video games are not restorative so avoid those when you are generating brain break ideas.

Discuss school brain breaks.

Yes, brain breaks are key at school too. But does your child’s teacher offer them? Even if they do, they are likely structured breaks for all students and may not serve your own child’s needs at the moment she has them. Help her learn self-management skills by figuring out what she can do in the midst of frustrating moments when she is sitting at her desk completing a worksheet or taking a test. Because mindfulness simply means becoming aware of your body and your thoughts and feelings (and holding compassion for those feelings – not judgement), it can be done anywhere. Your child could count to ten slowly while breathing deeply. Your child could tap each finger on her page individually while breathing noticing the touching sensation. She could wiggle each toe in her shoes noticing how that feels. These pauses can help her bring her focus back to her work.

Set a timer.

Brain breaks should not be long. After all, your child has work to accomplish and especially on school nights, time is limited. So allow enough time to move away and change the perspective but not so much time that your child gets involved in another activity. One to three minutes could be enough to accomplish that goal. Also, put your child in charge of the timer. You don’t want to be the one managing this break. Give your child that responsibility.

Do a dry run.

Practice is important before using it. Include deep breathing in your practice. For young children, try out hot chocolate breathing or teddy bear breathing to practice this important part of the break. For older children, you can merely count to ten while breathing or exaggerate the sound of your deep breathing together. Call “ brain break. ” Move away from work, breathe deeply, and try out your child’s idea for one restorative practice. This practice will ensure that she is well-rehearsed and can call upon that memory when she’s feeling frustrated and taken over by her flight or fight survival brain.

Notice, remind, and reinforce through reflection.

After you’ve generated ideas and practiced, then notice when you see your child getting frustrated. You might say, “ I notice you have a frustrated look on your face. Would a brain break help ?” Then after she does a brain break and her homework is complete, reflect. “ Did that help you and how did it help you? ” in order to maximize her learning.

For parents, teaching and promoting brain breaks with your child can serve as a helpful reminder to us. Yes, we also require brain breaks as we deal with a myriad of responsibilities and attempt to use focused attention with our child, as well as our work, as well as our household and social responsibilities. If you notice you are feeling overloaded with it all, how can you incorporate brain breaks into your own day to help you become more effective? I think I’ll take one…right now.

For Educators, check out this great article on Edutopia on how to incorporate brain breaks and other focusing activities into your daily classroom routines.

Brain Breaks and Focused Attention Practices

References:

Goleman, D. (2013). Focus; The hidden driven of excellence . NY: Harper Collins.

Kim et al. (2018). Daily micro-breaks and job performance: General work engagement as a cross-level moderator. Journal of Applied Psychology. 103 (7) 772-786.

Originally published on February 17, 2019.

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Category: Building a Positive Family Environment Tags: brain breaks , Coping skills , Dealing with big feelings , frustrating homework , homework frustrations , learning challenges , Self-management , upset during homework

11 Comments on “Frustrations over Homework? Practice this Coping Strategy…”

Thanks for your share. There are as many ways to learn as there are people. Since college, I found methods for learning that reduced after school study time from 20 hours to nearly none. As a teacher, I shared some of these ideas, but encouraged the kids to find what works for them. They could use what I shared, try it, but find what works for them. Here’s what I shared: As the teacher lectures, read the book/text (splitting attention for high functioning students), or read the book soon after the lecture (which I gave time). I would take notes as the teacher talked, but also summarize paragraphs as I read (like one or two phrases each). I also got into the habit of drawing pictures to explain each page (main point). Now, this sounds complex, but it isn’t, all happening at the same time. She lectures, I’m reading and listening: listening for the main points. As I’m reading, I’m summarizing paragraphs and drawing pictures so I can visualize what is happening. At home, all I do is read the notes and look at the pictures, while it’s fresh, to review. Never had to study for tests except to review the notes and think about them. The students who understood this improved in grades. I taught them to learn through understanding, not memorization. Understand and all the pieces fit. Some kids used aspects of this, borrowing, but including their own ideas. The main thing is to understand as you go.

Wow! Thank you sincerely for sharing how you study and advise others! This is so excellent. I really appreciate how you incorporate multiple ways of grappling with the material as you are learning it – summarizing, drawing pictures. These are terrific study methods. I think this is a blog article of the future since very few schools actually take the time to teach study skills. Are you a parent too? My criteria for writing an guest article is that you are a parent (of an 0-18 year old in your household) and have experience/expertise in child development or social and emotional development. If you are interested and fit that criteria, I hope you’ll email me at [email protected] . Thanks for the excellent comment! Best, Jennifer

You’re not going to beleive me when I explain. I was married once, but no children. However, as a teacher, I gathered that if I didn’t have my own children, the work of teaching would be worth the time. But, I think, my friends and family would tell you they think I’m unusual. I’m not. I simply wanted to understand learning and how best to learn, since I hated school while growing up and looked for easier ways. I’ll share something, and people can read my site for other articles (Those articles aren’t the most popular, because writing seems to block the communication that happens in person.). This was when I trained a horse. I had learned some riding in college, then helped people learn beginning riding in summer camp. But I had never trained a horse. **One day, while at work, a friend told me of another friend who was looking for someone to train his 2/3 year old thoroughbred horse. It had never been trained, never been saddled: basically, it was a pet. So, I told him I could train the horse. He didn’t ask if I had ever trained a horse, just if I could. Of course I could. Had no idea what was going to happen. I read one book on the horse whisperer and one magazine about horse training tips. I thought about horses. I knew I liked them, been around them while learning riding, so I figured all would be good. Then, I thought about what training might look like, visualized lessons, wrote down ideas, then went one step at a time. Met the horse, with the owner. Got to know the horse. Two weeks later, we could walk, trot, cantor, gallop, walk backwards, and open gates while sitting on the horse. But we were a partnership. I just listened to what the horse was telling me. This isn’t hard. It’s just all too many of us have been educated out of our common sense. We’ve lost that innate knowing that children have. When I teach, I try to support what children already have, teaching them to trust themselves, but they must do the work. Hope this helps.

Oh my goodness! I love it! I love your example of training a horse and how you learned what you could be then and then deep dove into a partnership of learning with the horse. That’s beautiful! That is how we all learn, isn’t it? It’s just that we adults seem to run into many fears and barriers as we attempt to let go of some of the control while we allow for our learning partner to try and take chances and experiment. It’s a dance for sure. I also love that you hated school but loved figuring out how learning takes place and how you could do it in a way that your students actually derived joy from the experience. Just wonderful! Thank you for writing! You have a whole lot of wisdom to share! Glad you are blogging about it! Please keep in touch. Best, Jennifer

By the way, Jennifer, you’re one of the reasons I keep trying to encourage others to see how easy learning is.

Thank for that comment! I appreciate it. I too am a student of learning and think we can gain a whole lot from learning from our children!

Good ideas. L,M >

Hi Jennifer, Brain break tricks you shared are really helpful for parents , teachers and students as well. Not every time one can go for vacation or on a trip. Many parents feel helpless when they see kids struggling with their work. I am sure if they document such tips and tricks and go through it every if and then, then it would be more helpful for them. ‘Deep breath’ technique is really wonderful for elders as well, it calms and fresh you up with in minutes. School and tuition teachers also need to learn and use such tactics to involve kids in better way. Thanks for sharing.

Zayden, I agree! Breaks and teaching coping strategies can be such empowering tools for parents as they support learning at home. Appreciate your feedback! 🙂 Jennifer

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Are you looking for strategies to help students who have trouble finishing homework tasks? If so, keep reading.

1. Chart homework tasks finished.

2. Converse with the learner to explain (a) what the learner is doing wrong (e.g., not turning in homework tasks ) and (b) what the learner should be doing (i.e., finishing homework tasks and returning them to school).

3. Urge the learner to lessen distractions to finish homework (e.g., turn off the radio and/or TV, have people whisper, etc.).

4. Take proactive steps to deal with a learner’s refusal to perform a homework task to prevent contagion in the classroom (e.g., refrain from arguing with the learner, place the learner at a carrel or other quiet space to work, remove the learner from the group or classroom, etc.).

5. Select a peer to model finishing homework tasks and returning them to school for the learner.

6. Urge the learner to realize that all behavior has negative or positive consequences. Urge the learner to practice behaviors that will lead to positive outcomes.

7. Urge the learner to set up an “office” where homework can be finished.

8. Get the learner to assess the visual and auditory stimuli in their designated workspace at home to ascertain the number of stimuli they can tolerate.

9. Create an agreement with the learner and their parents requiring that homework be done before more desirable learning activities at home (e.g., playing, watching television, going out for the evening, etc.).

10. Make sure that homework gives drill and practice rather than introducing new ideas or information.

11. Designate small amounts of homework initially . As the learner shows success, slowly increase the amount of homework (e.g., one or two problems to perform may be sufficient to begin the homework process).

12. Provide consistency in assigning homework (i.e., designate the same amount of homework each day).

13. Make sure the amount of homework designated is not excessive and can be finished within a sensible amount of time. Remember, secondary students may have six or seven teachers assigning homework each day.

14. Assess the appropriateness of the homework task to determine (a) if the task is too easy, (b) if the task is too complicated, and (c) if the duration of time scheduled to finish the task is sufficient.

15. Praise the learner for finishing homework tasks and returning them to school: (a) give the learner a concrete reward (e.g., classroom privileges, 10 minutes of free time, etc.) or (b) provide the learner an informal reward (e.g., praise, handshake, smile, etc.).

16. Praise the learner for finishing homework tasks based on the number of tasks the learner can successfully finish. As the learner shows success, slowly increase the number of tasks required for reinforcement.

17. Praise those students who finish their tasks at school during the time given.

18. Send home only one homework task at a time. As the learner shows success finishing tasks at home, slowly increase the number of homework tasks sent home.

19. Show the tasks in the most attractive and exciting manner possible.

20. Find the learning materials the learner continuously fails to take home. Give a set of those learning materials for the learner to keep at home.

21. Consider using an education app to help the student sharpen their organizational skills. Click here to view a list of apps that we recommend .

How to Renew or Reinstate a Teachers ...

Milestones of reading development.

Matthew Lynch

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A Lady's Relationships

My Friend Keeps Asking Me For Homework (Problem Solved)

“ My friend wants to copy my assignment, should I share my homework?” We have heard those words many times. Is your friend a homework mooch who piggybacks off the hard work of others? Are you always being bombarded with requests from your friend to let her copy your work? Why can’t she spend time doing the work instead of asking you? It’s not like you are not in the same class, so she has an equal amount of time to do her homework, but no, she asks you for yours.

If your friend is a bottom feeder who never does her homework, you have come to the right place, we have the perfect solutions that you must try, and hopefully, with a prayer, she will eventually do her work.

Table of Contents

11 Things that you must do when your friend keeps asking you for homework

When your friend keeps asking you for homework there are two things that you must do, first, you can offer to help your friend understand the work but not share your answers, and second if she continues to ask for your homework you have to set boundaries.

Ignore her request

Do what everybody else does and ignore her, maybe she will get the hint and leave you alone, if she sends you a message asking you if you saw her homework request, act like you didn’t see it. You can say “ Oh, I am sorry I was busy and my phone battery died” . Let’s hope that she will have done her work by then.

Come up with an excuse

Make something up, you can tell her that the last time you let someone copy you got into trouble, and if you would do it again your place at school might be compromised. You can also say that the last time it happened you were given a low grade and you had to take extra classes and that your parents were suspicious of your reasons. If you are stuck, say something like “ I don’t think I can risk getting caught again” or “ I am also struggling with this”.

When you feel like you can’t do something No should always be your go-to answer, depending on how old you are you may be afraid that your friend will be mad at you, you are probably thinking “ If I say no my friend will think I am mean ” . That’s okay, she can think of anything that she would like, copying could get you both dismissed from school and that is when real problems will begin. Remember that in some states if you get caught copying it could mean a 5-year ban, imagine 5 years of no school because you were caught helping your friend who should be helping herself.

Unfriend her

If she starts getting nasty and saying things like “ You are so stingy with your homework” Or starts spreading rumors about you it’s a good thing because you don’t need a friend who will throw a tantrum because they didn’t do their work and want to copy yours, real friends respect boundaries even if it means that they might fail the class. If she speaks badly about you and you have to see her don’t worry, there is nothing wrong with your ex-friend being in the same class as you , this is about your education.

Offer to help her

Okay, we can give her the benefit of the doubt if this is the first time that she is asking for your homework or assignment. You can set time aside after school or on the weekend to help her with the section of the work that she is struggling with. When you help her, keep your eyes open and do not let her charm you into doing the work for her, you are offering you help but this doesn’t mean thinking on her behalf.

Think of the outcomes

Many things could happen if you give her your work, what if you let her copy everything and she ends up receiving better marks than you, this has happened before. It’s not like you can go to the teacher and say “ Why did I get a lower grade than my friend when she occupied me?”

Organize a study group

This is the perfect way to kill not one, not two but three birds with one stone. Doing group work in the classroom is great because you are helping your friend with her homework, you are maintaining your friendship without her feeling like you don’t care and lastly, you get to form a social group of study buddies, it’s a win-win for everyone.

Study buddy groups are great because you won’t take the fall if your friend ends up failing, why would you when all the work and studying was done in a group, she won’t be able to blame you.

Be proud of your hard work

If your friend turns around and calls you a nerd or breaks off the friendship, keep your head high and be proud of your work. It takes a lot to understand everything that is going on in school, your efforts and determination for a good grade means you deserve it. Remind your friend that she will feel proud of herself when she stays up late at night and does her work.

Help only once

You are not the center for help, nor are you the teacher, help your friend once and make it a one-time thing, if the work is not related to group study, always helping her might mean that your work will suffer as a result of overextending yourself.

Inform your teacher

Tell your teacher that you have a friend who is struggling to understand the work and is asking you for help but you want them to get proper help. When you talk to your teacher, do not mention your friend’s name, keep the name anonymous, or create some fictitious character. Maybe your friend is not supposed to be in a particular course or class, telling a teacher or lecturer will help them see if they need to change any subjects or majors.

Give her online resources

Luckily for your friend, there are online resources like Google and Yahoo to help her when she needs it, tell her to use online resources to understand explanations, most subjects have forums like the Student Room Uk and she will be able to find tons of help by posting on there. Some schools have extended programs that offer tutors and things such as a peer support worker course online.

How do you say no to a friend asking for homework? (10 Things you can say)

• “I am not confident in my work either”
• ” I am sorry but I can’t”
• ” The last time I let someone copy it landed us both in trouble”
• ” The school has a plagiarism checker”-
• ” Tell me what you are struggling with and I will help you”
• ” No, this is the second time you are asking me”
• ” Is there a reason why you didn’t do yours”
• ” I don’t want to be involved in anything that will get me kicked out of the school”
• ” If you are having trouble with a section, Mr. Smith said anyone can come and ask him for help”
• ” I failed my last assignment, you don’t want to copy from me”

Should I share my homework answers?

Think about the consequences of sharing your homework answers, this might get you into big trouble and your teachers and parents might not trust you again.

Should I let my friend copy my homework?

No, you should not let your friend copy your homework because several things can happen such as getting in trouble at school or home or your friend might make it a habit to always ask you for your homework.

Is it OK to copy homework?

No, it’s not Ok to copy homework, if you are struggling it’s always best to ask your teacher for help or talk to your parents about getting a tutor.

To wrap it up, Darling

You love your friend with all your heart but it doesn’t mean that you should be taken advantage of. Should you help a friend? Yes, but not if it will get you into trouble. try our idea of helping her in a group work environment or when your teacher has given the class a group assignment, remember that depending on where your school is you might be expelled for plagiarism, why risk that? Friendships should be fun, they should be about crying, laughing, and talking about how cool the new Barbie movie is, not about assisting each other to copy, Darling let me know how it goes.

Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / Laziness & Motivation

Motivating the Unmotivated Child

By james lehman, msw.

Over the years, many parents have asked me why their kids aren’t motivated and what they can do about it. How can you get your child to be more motivated? To do better in school? To even go to school?

The important thing to remember is this: your child is motivated. They’re just motivated to resist you and others when they do not want to do something. The key is to learn how to turn their negative motivation into a positive one.

Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance

When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist . The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. The motivation is to retain power.

When kids feel powerless, they try to feel powerful by withholding. A child or teenager who feels very powerless will stay in bed, not go to school, avoid homework, sit on the couch, and withhold overall involvement because it gives her a sense of being in control.

To the parent, the behavior looks completely out of control. But the child sees it as the only way to have control over what’s going on around him.

You’ll see it when you ask your child a question and he doesn’t answer, but you know he heard you. What’s that all about? That’s a child withholding an answer to feel powerful. When he says, “I don’t have to answer you if I don’t want to,” you see it as a lack of motivation. He sees it as a way to win control over you.

All Kids are Motivated by Something

I want to be clear about this point: everyone is motivated. The question is, motivated to do what? If a child looks like he’s not motivated, you have to look at what he’s accomplishing and assume that this is what he’s motivated to do.

So part of the solution is getting him to be motivated to do something else. To assume that the child is unmotivated is an ineffective way of looking at it. He is motivated. He’s simply motivated to do nothing. In this case, doing nothing means resisting and holding back to exercise control over you.

Kids Resist Because They Lack Problem-Solving Skills

The child who uses resistance as a form of control lacks both social skills and problem-solving skills.

They don’t have the social skills to know how to talk to other people, how to be friendly, and how to feel comfortable with themselves. Also, they don’t have the problem-solving skills to figure out what people want from them, how to deal with other people’s behavior, and how to meet expectations and demands.

These are basic skills we all have to learn in order to be successful as adults.

If continually resisting is how a child tries to solve problems, then parents will have a hard time until they teach the child how to solve problems appropriately.

The first step in teaching kids problem-solving skills is to understand that these kids are not helpless victims. Instead, they’re simply trying to solve problems in an ineffective manner.

Don’t Argue or Fight With Your Child About Motivation

Very often these kids are motivated by the power struggle. They find different ways to have that struggle with their parents. The job of the parents, therefore, is to find other ways for the child to solve the problem that’s causing the power struggle.

But if parents don’t have those other ways then the power struggle continues with no end in sight.

If you’re fighting day after day with a kid who won’t get out of bed, you’re never going to solve that problem. Because even if he gets out of bed then he won’t brush his teeth. And even if he brushes his teeth then he won’t comb his hair. Or he won’t wear clean clothes, or he won’t do his homework.

Understand that when you yell at your child for lack of motivation, you’re giving their resisting behavior power. So don’t yell. Don’t argue. Don’t give their resisting behavior power.

I understand that parents get frustrated—that’s normal. And sometimes you will lose your calm, even when you know better.

The point I want to make here is that yelling and fighting won’t solve the problem. If you’re yelling and fighting over these issues, you’re giving him more power in the struggle, and you don’t want to do that. Here’s what to do instead.

Be Clear, Calm, and Give Consequences for Your Child’s Behavior

Make the situation clear for the child. Use “I” words. Say the following:

“I want you to get up out of bed and get ready for school.”

“I want you to do your homework now.”

Then leave the bedroom. If the kid doesn’t do it, then there should be consequences. There should be accountability.

If your child says, “I don’t care about the consequences,” ignore her. She will tell you she doesn’t care just as a way to feel in control. Or, she may not care now, but as consequences get applied consistently, she will eventually see compliance as a better alternative to consequences.

Therefore, give consequences. And don’t worry if the kid doesn’t like it. You are not your child’s friend, you’re their parent.

Related content: Unmotivated Child? 6 Ways to Get Your Child Going

By the way, if your child doesn’t get out of bed, he shouldn’t be doing anything else. He shouldn’t get to play video games. He shouldn’t spend four hours in front of the TV. If he’s too sick to go to school, he shouldn’t be going out of the house. These rules should be set and enforced consistently.

Give Effective Consequences

Understanding what is and what is not an effective consequence is critical. The right consequences actually motivate your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be a successful adult.

Know that effective consequences are not punishments. Indeed, I say all the time that you can’t punish your child into behaving better.

All parents should read my article on how to give kids consequences that work . And take a look at my sample video from The Complete Guide to Consequences .

Let Your Child Experience Natural Consequences

I would always tell parents in my office that you have to have the courage to let her experience the consequences of her behavior. It takes a lot of courage for a parent to step back and say:

“Okay, you’re not going to do your homework, and you’re going to get the grades that reflect that.”

But in these cases, it can help to let the child experience the natural consequences of resistance. You don’t let the kid watch TV. You say:

“Homework time is from six to eight. And if you don’t want to do your homework during that time, that’s fine. But you can’t go on the computer, you can’t play games, and you can’t watch TV. If you choose not to do your homework, that’s your choice. And if you fail, that’s your choice too.”

Remember, natural consequences are an important part of life. That’s why we have speeding tickets. A speeding ticket is a natural consequence. If you go too fast, the policeman stops you and gives you a ticket. He doesn’t follow you home to make sure you don’t speed anymore. He lets you go. It’s your job to stop and take responsibility. If you don’t, you’re going to get another ticket fifteen minutes later.

Natural consequences help people take responsibility, and they can be used to help kids take responsibility for things like going to school, participating in class, and doing homework.

Don’t Forget to Use Rewards

Along with the plan to let her experience the natural consequences of her decisions, build in rewards for success if she does make the right decision.

For example, if my son failed a test, there was no punishment. But if he passed, there was a reward. It was very simple. We rewarded A’s and B’s. We didn’t take anything away for C, we just didn’t reward it.

So my son eventually strived to have A’s all the time. So with kids who resist, it’s important to have a rewards system as well as a consequence system.

Be Patient and Persistent

Calmly and consistently using effective consequences is your fastest and best way to get your child motivated. Just be patient and persistent as consequences do their job and your child begins to learn better problem-solving skills. And know that the vast majority of kids come around and get motivated once they are held accountable in a meaningful way.

Related content: Motivating Underachievers: 9 Steps to Take When Your Child Says “I Don’t Care”

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Google

About James Lehman, MSW

James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation® , The Complete Guide to Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ , from a place of professional and personal experience. Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management professionally. Together with his wife, Janet Lehman, he developed an approach to managing children and teens that challenges them to solve their own problems without hiding behind disrespectful, obnoxious or abusive behavior. Empowering Parents now brings this insightful and impactful program directly to homes around the globe.

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I wish it was this easy. It's not that simple I've read what you wrote here and I don't think you have teenager's because it's eazy as you say

Sandra Sometimes the lack of motivation is a sign of something deeper - fear and shame felt because of failing grades - and so the child enters denial and resistance mode.

Emma Same here. I hate that the school requires the use of the laptop. It is nothing but a distraction and you can't take it away because they need it for school. The closest we've come to a solution is parental control software.

Tracy I have the same situation with my son. Ignores homework or any other responsibilities, bedroom is a disaster. Can't babysit all day, I am a single mom and I work full time. He knows how much this upsets me yet he does nothing to fix it. I take xbox, pc More power cords away, NOTHING motivates this kid.

Dad.com The issue with parents right now is that they have the same issue of all assuming their child’s goal is to fight them and be rebellious. A lot of kids who are struggling right now would love to pass and work hard and get good grades, but there are many More factors such as depression, low self-esteem and confidence, and the reaction, the relationship, and the treatment from the parents that greatly effect a child's motivation and perspective. Stop using punishment as a way to help your kid, use positive re-enforcement, and let then understand that what they’re going through isn’t their fault, they didn’t choose to be depressed, stressed, or have little to no motivation. Try and be helpful and realize that they are the ones carrying more emotional baggage then you can imagine.

Hyporeal Agree with some other comments here re consequences - they made difficult situations much much worse. No tv? She turned it on anyway. Confiscated phone/guitar - ransacked the house & took my keys in order to find them. Eventually, at age 24 she was diagnosed with severe ADHD, & More I realised those consequences would have produced anxiety in her worse than the original requests.

This. I'm already late for work every day (I take him to school) I can't sit at home with him all day every day.

He does have underlying issues (depression, anxiety), but 'nothing works' so he won't even try anything anymore - medication, therapy, exercise.

I'm at my wits' end and it's to the point that by the time he gets dropped off, I'm practically in tears, but have to get it together so that I can go to work and do what I need to do.

Emma Certainly it's important to rule out clinical anxiety and depression. But it appears to me that absolutely everything these days is being blamed on anxiety and depression and we are too quick to medicate and relieve children of their responsibilities.

Melissa382 Thank you for this I hope more parents see this.

Emma Agree 100%.

Janelle383 Maybe your child is depressed or something. You never know what really goes on in a teen’s mind.

Thanks for taking the time to put this article together to support parents. This is something I spend a lot of time also doing. I would love to be able to use your work as a reference for the families I come in contact with. The above article leaves me with a question that I feel would come up if I used it; "If the key is to avoid the power struggle, how do I then avoid the power struggle that would ensue from implementing the consequence?" Many of the struggles people have result from the secondary behaviour that follows the logical (as opposed to natural) consequence implementation. I look forward to hearing your strategies for this next step. Kindest Regards

Emma Same question here. And how can natural consequences work when they are not immediate? A 14-year-old has trouble understanding that missing homework assignments, being lazy with schoolwork, and not studying will impact his future. His immediate natural consequence is lower grades, but what if he doesn't care because he can't More see how this affects him in the future?

Txmomma Yes I have the same issue. In response to a consequence he break things, slams stuff, locks me out screams and yells. He doesn’t care if he gets bad grades. He doesn’t care if he fails or has to repeat a grade.

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

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• 1. Unmotivated Child? 6 Ways to Get Your Child Going
• 2. How to Motivate Teenagers
• 3. Motivating Underachievers: 9 Steps to Take When Your Child Says "I Don't Care"
• 4. Life Skills: 5 Tips To Help Your Child Make It in the Real World
• 5. 5 Ways to Help Kids Who Procrastinate
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Exercises on Conditional Sentences (Mix)

Type i or type ii.

Complete the Conditional Sentences. Decide whether to use Type I or II.

• If you do your homework now, we go will go would go went to the cinema in the evening.
• If we order will order would order ordered the book now, we will have it tomorrow.
• If I had more money, I buy will buy would buy bought a bigger car.
• If I meet will meet would meet met my favourite movie star, I would ask him for an autograph.
• I call will call would call called you if I need your help.
• I would go swimming if the weather is will be would be were better.
• If he doesn't have won't have wouldn't have didn't have time tomorrow, we will meet the day after.
• If I were you, I don't know won't know wouldn't know didn't know what to do.
• If we don't order the tickets soon, there aren't won't be wouldn't be weren't any tickets left.
• She does not say will not say would not say did not say that if she were your friend.

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• English Only

John <did><had done> his homework and <had> cleaned up the mess

• Thread starter JJXR
• Start date Jul 30, 2020

Senior Member

• Jul 30, 2020

Hello to all, Thanks for reading my post. Context: I'm telling my friend Peter about what happened to John yesterday. I say one of the sentences below. Sample sentences: 1. John did his homework and cleaned up the mess in his room, and now he was sitting on the couch watching TV. Suddenly, his mother entered the room and started yelling at him because it was late, and he should've been sleeping already. 2. John had done his homework and cleaned up the mess in his room, and now he was sitting on the couch watching TV. Suddenly, his mother entered the room and started yelling at him because it was late, and he should've been sleeping already. 3. John had done his homework and had cleaned up the mess in his room, and now he was sitting on the couch watching TV. Suddenly, his mother entered the room and started yelling at him because it was late, and he should've been sleeping already. Question: Do the bolded tenses work in the sample sentences in the context given? Thanks a lot for any comments, corrections or suggestions! Regards, JJXR  

• Jul 31, 2020

#1 is correct with the simple past. #2 and 3 are incorrect ( regardless of the one word difference between them), because in this context, there is no reason to use the past perfect instead of the simple past. Using the past perfect instead of the simple past is called for only when there is a clear and compelling reason to do so. In this case, there is no such reason.  

PaulQ said: The past perfect is mainly used in written English to describe the earliest completed actions that give the background and give context to the events that you intended to focus on: Click to expand...

PaulQ said: "He had cleaned the car and had mown the lawn [the earliest (in terms of time) completed actions that give context to ->] and now he was sitting at the table drinking beer." Click to expand...

• Aug 1, 2020

JJXR said: He cleaned the car and mowed the lawn and now he was sitting at the table drinking beer . Click to expand...

Thanks for the response, reno33.  

Edinburgher

For me, all three are correct. Version (1) narrates what he did first, using ordinary past simple, and then arrives at the quasi-present focus of the narrative while retaining past simple ("now he was"). The other two versions present the homework and cleaning up as a past history that precedes his watching TV, and which can be said to have had an effect on it, if you think of him "rewarding himself" for having done his chores, allowing himself to watch TV. The past perfect is not necessary for this, but it is certainly not incorrect. Version (2) is more idiomatic than (3). You don't need to repeat the word "had". By this I mean I would not interpret this as past perfect "had done his homework" plus simple past "cleaned up his mess", but I would interpret both verbs as past perfect because I'd think of the word "had" as applying to both of them. It's as if there were invisible mathematical brackets around "done his homework and cleaned up the mess in his room" with the common factor "had" placed before the brackets. Just as "AB+AC" can be written "A(B+C)", had done his homework and had cleaned up the mess in his room can be written had (done his homework and cleaned up the mess in his room) and then the brackets made invisible.  

• Aug 2, 2020

Thanks for the explanation, Edinburgher.