06 aplia assignment gaining self awareness

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Chapter 6: Gaining Self-Awareness

11th - 12th grade, life skills.

22 questions

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1. Leverrier predicted that an invisible planet was pulling the planet Uranus off its predicted course around the sun. Likewise, human beings are pulled off course by the invisible forces of their _____.

Conscious minds

Unconscious minds

Inner Guide

Many people sabotage their goals and dreams by unconsciously choosing actions, thoughts, and/or emotions that get them off course from their goals and dreams.

When Creators are off course, they tend to deny it make excuses, blame others, or give up.

One characteristic of Creators is that they are able to recognize and acknowledge when they are off course.

The story of Jerome, the accounting student, illustrates that once a person has a clear goal he will not get off course.

Eric Berne, the creator of a mode of counseling called Transactional Analysis, referred to our invisible inner forces as…

Defense mechanisms

As part of our script, each of us has developed three kinds of habit patterns: behaviors, thoughts, and emotions.

1. Our habit patterns are motivated by our unconscious core _____.

We seem to create our scripts as a result of…

How others responded to us

What significant adults said to us

Observing the behavior of significant adults in our lives

All of the above

Diana, the student in the author’s writing course, had a script from her childhood that said her brain didn’t work well. (Rewriting Your Outdated Script)

When our core beliefs about ourselves, about other people, or about the work are inaccurate, they can sabotage our success. (Rewriting Your Outdated Scripts)

Diana’s core beliefs about her inability to think caused her to hear what she expected to hear rather than what her teacher actually said. (Rewriting Your Outdated Scripts)

The parts of our scripts that are available to our conscious minds are our patterns of self-defeating actions, thoughts, and emotions. By revising these three patterns we can help revise our limiting core_____.

On Course at Work: Self-Awareness at Work

Hard skills are the special-knowledge skills that you’ve learned to do throughout your life; for example, swimming, writing, solving math problems, building a house, creating a budget, backpacking, playing chess, and reading.

 Soft skills are the ones you have developed to cope with life; for example, making choices as a Creator, motivating yourself, being industrious, in developing relationships, and believing in yourself.

If you have not yet declared a major, where can you go on campus to take one of the inventories recommended in On Course?

Your advisor’s office

The Registrar’s office

The Student Union

The Career Center

Becoming aware of the match between _____ improves your chances of finding a satisfying career match.

Your desired income level and your preferred location

Your interests and your personality

Your family’s plans and your need to work near them

Your personality and your desired income level

(Believing in Yourself: Write Your Own Rules)

According to psychologist Virginia Stir, we are all living by rules, though we may not be aware of them

All of the unconscious rules that we live by need to be revised.

( Believing in Yourself: Write Your Own Rules)

The author of On Course has polled thousands of college instructors who identify three behaviors that their most successful students do consistently. Which of the following is NOT one of these top three behaviors of successful students (though it may be a good rule nonetheless)?

Attend every class from beginning to end

Seek help from tutors

Do their best work on all assignments

Participate actively in class

 At Baltimore City Community college, a study found that, on average, the more classes that students missed, the higher their grades were, especially in introductory course.

A personal rule is your conscious intention. You may need to break one of your rules if something of a higher _____conflicts with it.

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What Is Self-Awareness?

Development, Types, and How to Improve

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

• Development
• How to Improve

Self-Consciousness

Frequently asked questions.

Self-awareness is your ability to perceive and understand the things that make you who you are as an individual, including your personality, actions, values, beliefs, emotions, and thoughts. Essentially, it is a psychological state in which the self becomes the focus of  attention .

While self-awareness is central to who you are, it is not something you are acutely focused on at every moment of every day. Instead, self-awareness becomes woven into the fabric of who you are and emerges at different points depending on the situation and your personality .​

It is one of the first components of the  self-concept  to emerge. People are not born completely self-aware. Yet evidence suggests that infants do have a rudimentary sense of self-awareness.

Infants possess the awareness that they are separate beings from others, which is evidenced by behaviors such as the rooting reflex in which an infant searches for a nipple when something brushes against their face. Researchers have also found that even newborns are able to differentiate between self- and non-self touch.

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Self-Awareness Development

Studies have demonstrated that a more complex sense of self-awareness emerges around one year of age and becomes much more developed by approximately 18 months of age. Researchers Lewis and Brooks-Gunn performed studies looking at how self-awareness develops.

The researchers applied a red dot to an infant's nose and then held the child up to a mirror. Children who recognized themselves in the mirror would reach for their own noses rather than the reflection in the mirror, which indicated that they had at least some level of self-awareness.

Lewis and Brooks-Gunn found that almost no children under one year of age would reach for their own nose rather than the reflection in the mirror.

About 25% of the infants between 15 and 18 months reached for their own noses while about 70% of those between 21 and 24 months did so.

It is important to note that the Lewis and Brooks-Gunn study only indicates an infant's visual self-awareness; children might actually possess other forms of self-awareness even at this early point in life. For example, researchers Lewis, Sullivan, Stanger, and Weiss suggested that  expressing emotions  involves self-awareness as well as an ability to think about oneself in relation to other people.

Researchers have proposed that an area of the brain known as the anterior cingulate cortex located in the frontal lobe region plays an important role in developing self-awareness. Studies have also used brain imaging to show that this region becomes activated in adults who are self-aware.

The Lewis and Brooks-Gunn experiment suggests that self-awareness begins to emerge in children around the age of 18 months, an age that coincides with the rapid growth of spindle cells in the anterior cingulate cortex.

However, one study found that a patient retained self-awareness even with extensive damage to areas of the brain including the insula and the anterior cingulate cortex.

This suggests that these areas of the brain are not required for most aspects of self-awareness and that awareness may instead arise from interactions distributed among brain networks.

Levels of Self-Awareness

So how exactly do children become aware of themselves as separate beings? One major theory of self-awareness, introduced by developmental psychologist Philippe Rochat, suggests that there are five levels of self-awareness. Children progress through these stages between birth and approximately age 4 or 5:

• Differentiation : A baby begins to acknowledge their own reflection. They may detect there is something different or special about looking at their reflection.
• Situation : A baby begins to recognize their own reflection, being, and movements as separate from those around them.
• Identification : This is the stage during which a child fully knows that it is their own reflection in a mirror. They know, "This is me ."
• Permanence : They have a complete sense of themselves and can identify themselves in pictures or videos, even as their appearance changes.
• Self-consciousness : A child adapts a third-person point of view of themselves; they become aware of the idea that others perceive them in certain ways. This may result in feelings such as pride or shame.

Types of Self-Awareness

Psychologists often break self-awareness down into two different types, either public or private.

Public Self-Awareness

This type emerges when people are aware of how they appear to others. Public self-awareness typically emerges in situations when people are at the center of attention.

This type of self-awareness often compels people to adhere to social norms . When we are aware that we are being watched and evaluated, we often try to behave in ways that are socially acceptable and desirable.

Public self-awareness can also lead to evaluation anxiety in which people become distressed, anxious, or worried about how they are perceived by others.

Public Self-Awareness Examples

You may experience public self-awareness in the workplace, when you're giving a big presentation. Or, you may experience it when telling a story to a group of friends.

Private Self-Awareness

This type happens when people become aware of some aspects of themselves, but only in a private way. For example, seeing your face in the mirror is a type of private self-awareness.

Private Self-Awareness Examples

Feeling your stomach lurch when you realize you forgot to study for an important test or feeling your heart flutter when you see someone you are attracted to are also examples of private self-awareness.

How to Improve Your Self-Awareness

So how do you grow self-awareness? There are many ways you can practice being present with yourself and your emotions, which, in turn, can help improve your self-awareness.

Meditation can be an especially useful practice because you don't have to worry about changing anything—simply noticing what happens during a meditation can bring greater awareness of your thoughts and feelings.

Maybe you notice that you hold tension in your body by clenching your jaw, for instance, or that you tend to worry so much about the future that it's hard to be in the present moment. This is all valuable information that can help you get to know yourself and your tendencies.

Journaling is a practice in self-reflection that can help you notice the ways in which you tend to think and behave, and even which areas in your life you may wish to improve. It can be a therapeutic way to gain insight into your life events and relationships.

Talk Therapy

During therapy—such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—a therapist works with you to address negative thought patterns or behaviors.

By understanding the underlying cause of your negative thoughts, for instance, you're in a more advantageous position to change them and use healthy coping mechanisms instead.

Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness and emotional intelligence (EQ) go hand in hand. EQ refers to a person's ability to perceive their own emotions as well as the emotions of other people. Someone with a high EQ is able to effectively respond to emotions with empathy and compassion.

Of course, no one is perfect, and EQ is a skill like any other. But by learning to express your own emotions in a healthy way, and practicing active listening in your relationships, you're contributing to the expansion of your own self-awareness as well.

Try Our EQ Test

Our fast and free EQ test can help you determine whether or not your responses to certain situations in life indicate a high level of emotional intelligence:

Sometimes, people can become overly self-aware and veer into what is known as self-consciousness. Have you ever felt like everyone was watching you, judging your actions, and waiting to see what you will do next? This heightened state of self-awareness can leave you feeling awkward and nervous in some instances.

In a lot of cases, these feelings of self-consciousness are only temporary and arise in situations when we are "in the spotlight." For some people, however, excessive self-consciousness can reflect a chronic condition such as social anxiety disorder .

While self-awareness plays a critical role in how we understand ourselves and how we relate to others and the world, excessive self-consciousness can result in challenges such as anxiety and stress .

If you struggle with self-consciousness, discuss your symptoms with a doctor or mental health professional to learn more about what you can do to cope with these feelings.

Being self-aware is all about having an understanding of your own thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, and actions. It means that you understand who you are, what you want, how you feel, and why you do the things that you do.

There are many different ways to think about self-awareness, but four keys that are often mentioned included mindfulness, self-compassion, reflection, and feedback.

Mindfulness allows people to become more aware of themselves in the present, while compassion allows them to do so without passing judgment on themselves. Reflection and feedback allow people to take what they have learned and improve themselves in order to achieve their goals and reach their full potential.

The five elements of self-awarenesses are:

• Consciousness : This means being aware of your internal experiences, including your emotions and thoughts.
• Self-knowledge : This element is focused on your understanding of who you are, including your beliefs, values, and motivations.
• Emotional intelligence : This element is focused on the ability to understand and manage emotions.
• Self-acceptance : This aspect is centered on accepting who you are and showing yourself compassion and kindness.
• Self-reflection : This element of self-awareness involves being able to think deeply about your feelings, thoughts, and goals in order to gain an even better understanding of who you are and your place in the world.

Rochat, P. Five levels of self-awareness as they unfold early in life . Consciousness and Cognition . 2003;12(4):717-31. doi:10.1016/S1053-8100(03)00081-3

Brooks-Gunn J, Lewis M. The development of early visual self-recognition . Dev Review . 1984;4(3):215-39. doi:10.1016/S0273-2297(84)80006-4

Moeller SJ, Goldstein RZ. Impaired self-awareness in human addiction: deficient attribution of personal relevance . Trends Cogn Sci (Regul Ed). 2014;18(12):635-41. PMID: 25278368

Philippi CL, Feinstein JS, Khalsa SS, et al. Preserved self-awareness following extensive bilateral brain damage to the insula, anterior cingulate, and medial prefrontal cortices . PLoS ONE. 2012;7(8):e38413. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0038413

Sutton A. Measuring the effects of self-awareness: Construction of the self-awareness outcomes questionnaire .  Eur J Psychol . 2016;12(4):645-658. doi:10.5964/ejop.v12i4.1178

Xiao Q, Yue C, He W, Yu JY. The mindful self: A mindfulness-enlightened self-view .  Front Psychol . 2017;8:1752. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01752

Snyder, M. Journaling. R. Lindquist, M. Snyder, & M. F. Tracy (Eds.). In:  Complementary and alternative therapies in nursing . Springer Publishing Company; 2014.

Nakao M, Shirotsuki K, Sugaya N. Cognitive–behavioral therapy for management of mental health and stress-related disorders: Recent advances in techniques and technologies . BioPsychoSocial Med. 2021;15(1). doi:10.1186/s13030-021-00219-w

Serrat O. Understanding and developing emotional intelligence . Knowledge Solutions. 2017:329-339. doi:10.1007/978-981-10-0983-9_37

Dasilveira A, Desouza ML, Gomes WB. Self-consciousness concept and assessment in self-report measures . Front Psychol . 2015;6:930. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00930

Stein DJ. Social anxiety disorder and the psychobiology of self-consciousness .  Front Hum Neurosci . 2015;9:489. doi:10.3389/fnhum.2015.00489

• Crisp, R. J. & Turner, R. N. Essential social psychology. London: Sage Publications; 2010.

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It)

• Tasha Eurich

Although most people believe that they are self-aware, true self-awareness is a rare quality. In this piece, the author describes a recent large-scale investigation that shed light on some of the biggest roadblocks, myths, and truths about what self-awareness really is — and what it takes to cultivate it. Specifically, the study found that there are actually two distinct types of self-awareness, that experience and power can hinder self-awareness, and that introspection doesn’t always make you more self-aware. Understanding these key points can help leaders learn to see themselves more clearly.

It’s not just about introspection.

Self-awareness seems to have become the latest management buzzword — and for good reason. Research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative . We make sounder decisions , build stronger relationships , and communicate more effectively . We’re less likely to lie, cheat, and steal . We are better workers who get more promotions . And we’re more-effective leaders with more-satisfied employees and more-profitable companies .

• TE Tasha Eurich , PhD, is an organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is the principal of The Eurich Group, a boutique executive development firm that helps companies — from startups to the Fortune 100 — succeed by improving the effectiveness of their leaders and teams. Her newest book, Insight , delves into the connection between self-awareness and success in the workplace.

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How to Increase Self-Awareness: 16 Activities & Tools (+PDF)

In our stressful, modern lives, it’s easy to react passively to our environment and fracture opportunities to connect. Possessing emotional intelligence and regulating our emotions should be some of the most valued skills; self-awareness is the cornerstone of that intelligence.

Read along for some tried-and-tested, science-based strategies to raise self-awareness.

But first, we thought you might like to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free . These science-based exercises will not only enhance your ability to understand and work with your emotions, but also give you the tools to foster the emotional intelligence of your clients, students, or employees.

This Article Contains:

How do we develop self-awareness, 4 ways to increase self-awareness, 3 tests, questionnaires, and assessment scales, 5 activities, games, and exercises to build self-awareness, the self-awareness wheel, some group exercises, interview questions, techniques, and tips, a look at journaling for self-awareness, self-awareness and kids + activities, training your self-awareness: 3 courses, 5 books on the topic, 5 interesting videos and ted talks, top podcasts, inspirational quotes on self-awareness, a take-home message.

Self-awareness is the ability to monitor our inner and external world. Our thoughts and feelings arise as signals. Developing self-awareness allows us to keep from being swept away by those signals, and instead, objectively and thoughtfully respond to them. Self-aware people understand their internal experience and their impact on the experience of others.

The ability to self-evaluate has been criticized in the past for increasing negative affect. When encouraging self-awareness from the “cool” system of stimuli (Metcalfe & Mischel, 1999), the increase in negative affect can be lessened. A rise in negative emotional affect is a hindrance to progress in self-awareness.

When working on self-awareness, it is essential to do so from a self-distanced perspective, with a focus on reasons underlying emotional experience rather than what was emotionally experienced (Kross, Ayduk, & Mischel, 2005).

An open, objective observation of feelings, senses, desires, and actions can help someone move up the flourishing continuum. There’s no need to relive negative emotions, but noticing them and learning from their presence can boost self-awareness.

Developing self-awareness requires higher level cognitive processing. It requires an information-gathering perspective. This processing results in increases in adaptability and flexibility. Having increased self-awareness builds resilience (Hippe, 2004). Self-awareness also improves our ability to empathize with others (Younas, Rasheed, Sundus, & Inayat, 2020).

When compassion and empathy rise, so does the higher self. With intentions and purpose, a self-aware human can significantly impact the world around them. Self-aware people tend to show up with self-confidence , self-worth , and high success rates (Duval & Silvia, 2002).

Keep track of thoughts that pop up in the form of an automatic reaction.

Track what was occurring at the time.

Track your level of emotion to the stimulus.

If time allows, analyze the underlying reason for the emotion experienced. If time does not allow, the diary will enable you to track common threads.

Introspection is not efficient in higher order cognitive processes (Nisbett & Wilson, 1977). Humans tend to reflect with a self-serving bias, rather than objectively analyzing situations for abstract learning. To be more efficient, the thought diary should be less of an emotional exercise and more of a fact-finding mission. In other words, leave judgment out of it.

Starting a mindfulness practice is another way to increase self-awareness. There are a variety of activities to include in a mindfulness practice. Find a few ideas to inspire you to incorporate meditation, yoga, or some other variation to improve your presence. When mindfulness is practiced, behavior becomes more intentional, and increased self-awareness develops.

Asking a friend to clarify your strengths and weaknesses can be a significant pathway to self-awareness. While many people believe they are self-aware, having an outside perspective is helpful in a clearer understanding of external self-awareness.

Download 3 Free Emotional Intelligence Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients understand and use emotions advantageously.

Download 3 Free Emotional Intelligence Tools Pack (PDF)

By filling out your name and email address below.

The Self Consciousness Scale (Scheier & Carver, 1985) has been validated and translated into several languages. It helps to better understand one’s level of rumination and to shift it instead to objective reflection.

The Situational Self-Awareness Scale was designed to quantify levels of public and private awareness. It has been validated and translated many times. It has two sub-scales that help validate differences and cues to these two forms of self-awareness (Govern & Marsch, 2001). You need permission from the authors to use this scale for scientific purposes.

Tasha Eurich’s research on self-awareness leads to this interesting quiz . It measures internal and external self-awareness and places participants in quadrants, allowing for growth in understanding the power of knowing the ‘self.’ There is more on her interesting book below.

Various scales to measure mindfulness and increase awareness can be found on our blog.

Other personality inventories offer an increase in self-awareness too. Taking that insight into real-time practice is a vital awareness builder.

Becoming self-aware is not a single moment of inspiration. It requires continual, objective reflection and experimentation in real-world settings.

Taking healthy risks is another way to build your self-awareness. Placing yourself in new situations and out of your comfort zone can offer unique personal insight. Here are a few ideas for healthy risks:

• Join a club
• Begin a new activity (painting, exercise, etc.)
• Switch to open-ended questions

Ask your friends for feedback . By trusting a friend or relative to give you feedback about your qualities – helpful and unhelpful – you can gain insight into how you are perceived. Allowing a mirror to be placed in front of you by your loved ones can be illuminating.

Writing a regret letter is a way to build self-awareness and practice radical forgiveness at the same time. Write to your former self about regrets and forgive that self for mistakes that have been made. This activity permits you to be human.

Write your imaginary eulogy to illuminate how you’d like to be remembered after you’re gone. This exercise allows you to know how you want to show up in the world and the necessary shifts that need to occur. This self-awareness builder will enable you to understand your higher self better.

We have more self-awareness activities on our blog.

There are variations of the self-awareness wheel used in counseling, mindfulness practices, and even education. Though the wheel has many variations, the version from Dr. Dan Siegel is evidence based. His version can be found on his website . It is a visual metaphor for the process of integrating consciousness.

The core of awareness develops from a central “hub” containing the understanding of awareness or mindfulness as:

The core of awareness is the goal, where one’s attention focuses on the surroundings of the “hub” while scanning for:

• The body’s five senses
• Interconnectedness (interaction with the environment)
• Cognitive processes
• Internal physical body

Another version of an awareness wheel was created in the book Alive and Aware (Miller, Nunnally, & Wackman, 1975).

In this wheel, awareness is surrounded by:

It’s basically the same concept as Siegel’s wheel but simplified. It can be utilized for improving communication in relationships.

A fun parlor game popularized by French essayist Marcel Proust can be used as an exercise to grow self-awareness. It is called the Proust Questionnaire .

A group activity that requires vulnerability and listening skills is a share circle . With participants in a circle, pass around the following questions on a piece of paper. Have participants listen deeply. Be sure that everyone gets a turn with a positive and negative emotion.

• I feel angry when…
• I feel joyful when…
• I feel unhappy when…
• I feel hope when…
• I wish I didn’t have to…
• I enjoy…
• I feel afraid when…
• Something I’d like to change is…
• If I were (name the person), I would…
• I feel like no one loves me when…
• I know I am loved when…
• Something I find boring is…
• I know I can trust…
• I admire (name the person) because…
• I feel serene when…
• I am most interested in….
• I am annoyed when…
• I disapprove of…
• I am optimistic when…

Another group activity that increases self-awareness is a body language exercise . Divide participants into partners. Give one partner a note showing the type of emotion they should display with only body language. Have the other partner choose what emotion is present in the body language.

To develop awareness in a team setting , help the group become aware of common goals. Team strengths and weaknesses can then be identified and transformed into action steps for team growth. In a group, brainstorm the answers to the following prompts:

This team is great at… This team struggles at… This team supports each other by…

On a scale from 1 to 10, how much does each team member notice their emotional reactions? Our common goals are… We will grow by… Our daily actions include…

As we know, self-awareness is the cornerstone of building that intelligence.

Here are some questions, techniques, and tips for assessing someone’s self-awareness.

What makes you angry at work?

A self-aware person would respond with an answer that shows how anger is handled in real time. Speaking about how anger is a signal to an adjustment toward perspective taking is a great way to highlight self-awareness capabilities.

As a manager, how do you handle a subordinate who enters your office crying?

A self-aware person would respond with an answer that shows the ability to respond with compassion and strong listening skills. A manager has to have the ability to handle emotions and likely has empathy for others.

How would you handle a subordinate making a mistake?

A self-aware person can take the perspective of failure as a natural process of growth and can help the subordinate learn from that mistake.

What is your superpower?

A self-aware person can effectively articulate what unique offering they bring to the table.

Self-aware folks will typically value teamwork above self-promotion. They value collaboration and have the ability to respond, rather than passively react, to stimuli. Self-aware leaders will lead with intention, empathy, and compassion.

At the heart of any journaling practice for self-awareness is honesty. Allowing ourselves to recognize and redirect the self-serving bias enables journaling to increase accuracy in subjective emotional experience. Tracking triggers is quite powerful in decreasing the automated reactions to them.

Someone doesn’t have to be a writer to journal for self-awareness. A stream of consciousness journal won’t be reviewed or read by anyone but the writer. It can reveal and enlighten when reread.

Journaling offers insight into changes that could be made and tracked through personal experience. By writing daily, the thread becomes illuminated. It may even help to keep journals for different areas of life (e.g., work, home, fitness, etc.).

To get creative, it can be quite helpful to start journaling with prompts that ignite self-discovery. Here are a few examples to get you started:

• If I could speak to my teenage self, I would say…
• Can I come up with 20 things that make me smile?
• Two of the most impactful moments of my life were…
• When I’m in pain, the sweetest thing I can do for myself is…
• Today, I used my strengths in the following ways…
• I was most surprised when….
• The scariest day of my life was…

Developing emotional intelligence takes some effort, and it begins with self-awareness.

Speaking to strengths and accepting that emotions are temporary is helpful for anyone working with children.

Mindfulness for Kids is an important exercise used to increase self-awareness. The link will take you to games, worksheets, and activities to help those kids in your life.

Offering older kids sentence starters and encouraging them to complete the sentences is a great activity for building self-awareness. Start with these examples:

When I’m bored, I like to… In my free time, I enjoy… I’m happiest when… When I make a mistake, I… When my day doesn’t go my way, I…

The emotional pie exercise is a healthy way for kids to discuss their emotions. Have the child create a circle. Help the child name eight emotions with individually chosen representative colors. If they have trouble, you can help them with the assistance of Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions .

Once they are identified, have the child fill the circle with the emotions weighing the slices from most prominent to least prominent. Encourage them to use colors that might feel like they represent those feelings (e.g., red for anger).

A fun idea for younger kids is the emoji plate game. Help children develop the vocabulary to talk about their emotions by making paper plates into emojis created with self-determined labels. For little ones, emotions such as anger, frustration, or disappointment can be hard feelings to process. Yet, it is important to help them to develop the vocabulary to express them positively.

Lea Waters’s work on strengths is a great way to help children develop self-awareness. Waters’s (2017) The Strength Switch is a great book for sparking a genuinely transformational conversation between parents and kids. Like any other humans, kids want to be seen. Helping them recognize their strengths and telling them the strengths that you see in them are wonderful places to start.

Mindfulness X is a comprehensive training course for practitioners to learn how to infuse mindfulness into their practices.

Udemy offers an affordable online course utilizing Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, neuroplasticity, and mindfulness. This course is geared toward self-development, particularly in reducing depression and anxiety.

ACT for Youth has developed a helpful toolkit filled with resources for kids.

Improving self-awareness helps people improve their lives by offering an objective reflection. The topic has gained scientific evidence in improving overall emotional intelligence and success. With increased emotional intelligence, improved human connection and leadership are possible. Here are some great reads on the topic.

1. A Theory of Objective Self Awareness – Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund

It offers links to cognitive processes.

While somewhat antiquated, it has bedrock theory that can help readers understand the concept of objective self-awareness.

Available on Amazon .

2. Self-Awareness (HBR Emotional Intelligence Series) – Harvard Business Review, Daniel Goleman, Robert Steven Kaplan, Susan David, and Tasha Eurich

This book teaches the concept of being human at work. Knowing your strengths, shortcomings, and potential helps leaders develop.

3. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ – Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence , by Daniel Goleman, explores the scientific concept of two brains: the logical and the emotional.

This book outlines the skills needed to improve your emotional intelligence.

Self-awareness is the bedrock of these skills .

4. Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think – Tasha Eurich

With a pragmatic approach to professional development, this book serves leaders in becoming more self-aware and successful.

Grounded in the science of human behavior, this book offers readers the ability to uncover the invisible blocks to self-awareness.

5. How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of The Brain – Lisa Feldman Barrett Ph.D.

Ten additional books are discussed in our article regarding the best self-awareness books .

The following visuals are great ways to improve one’s knowledge of self-awareness.

1. How Youth Thrive

Peter Benson’s TED talk, How Youth Thrive, is compelling. This talk discusses the spark that youth have and their awareness of its existence in themselves. Knowing that they are ‘seen’ gives youth self-awareness and joy.

2. Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix

Tasha Eurich’s TED talk highlights her research in self-awareness. Her evidence-based perspective as an organizational psychologist gives an informative speech about how most people are not, in fact, self-aware.

3. My Stroke of Insight

Jill Bolte Taylor’s TED talk discusses her very personal experience of having a stroke. It’s an astonishing story about the brain and self-awareness.

4. The Power of Self-Awareness

Dr. William Sparks talks about the power of self-awareness and his deeper understanding of “the shadow.”

5. How Self-Awareness Can Help You to Live the Life You Want

Marina Barayeva’s TED talk on self-awareness is helpful for youth.

Being Well by Rick Hanson, PhD uses psychology to look at achievement, awareness, and success. This episode, in particular, offers insight from Daniel Goleman.

The Self-Awareness Podcast , from Aaron Dodge, is a personal journey through self-awareness.

The Pathway to Happiness podcast, and this Awareness and Consciousness episode in particular, offers interesting insights into the voices in our heads.

If you enjoy listening to podcasts, we also have a selection of the eight best positive psychology podcasts .

17 Exercises To Develop Emotional Intelligence

These 17 Emotional Intelligence Exercises [PDF] will help others strengthen their relationships, lower stress, and enhance their wellbeing through improved EQ.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.

Carl Gustav Jung

You can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another.

Ernest Hemingway

The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.

Michel de Montaigne

Every human has four endowments – self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.

Stephen R. Covey

Science tells us that most human beings are not very adept at self-awareness. What researchers have found is that self-awareness is like a golden ticket for success and fulfillment. It takes work. Self-awareness and self-acceptance lead to improvements in emotional intelligence.

More people awakened and aware would be a massive transition in humanity. It would create better families, schools, and workplaces. With the shift would come increased compassion and empathy. Dare we dream that we can do better?

Thanks for reading!

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Emotional Intelligence Exercises for free .

• Duval, T. S., & Silvia, P. J. (2002). Self-awareness, probability of improvement, and the self-serving bias.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82 (1), 49-61.
• Govern, J. M., & Marsch, L. A. (2001). Development and validation of the situational self-awareness scale. Consciousness and Cognition, 10 (3), 366-378.
• Hippe, J. (2004). Self-awareness: A precursor to resiliency. Reclaiming Children & Youth ,  12 (4), 240-242.
• Kross, E., Ayduk, O., & Mischel, W. (2005). When asking “why” does not hurt: Distinguishing rumination from reflective processing of negative emotions. Psychological Science, 16 (9), 709-715.
• Metcalfe, J., & Mischel, W. (1999). A hot/cool-system analysis of delay of gratification: Dynamics of willpower. Psychological Review, 106 (1), 3-19.
• Miller, S., Nunnally, E. W., & Wackman, D. B. (1975). Alive and aware: Improving communications in relationships . Minneapolis, MN: Interpersonal Communication Programs.
• Nicholls, S., Wegener, M., Bay, D., & Cook, G. L. (2012). Emotional intelligence tests: Potential impacts on the hiring process for accounting students.  Accounting Education ,  21 (1), 75-95.
• Nisbett, R. E., & Wilson, T. D. (1977). Telling more than we know: Verbal reports on mental processes. Psychological Review, 81 (3), 231–257.
• Ostroff, C., Atwater, L. E., & Feinberg, B. J. (2004). Understanding self-other agreement: A look at rater and ratee characteristics, context and outcomes. Personnel Psychology, 57 (2), 333-375.
• Scheier, M. F., & Carver, C. S. (1985). The self-consciousness scale: A revised version for use with general populations. Journal of Applied Social Psychology ,  15 (8), 687-699.
• Waters, L. (2017).  The strength switch: How the new science of strength-based parenting can help your child and your teen to flourish. New York, NY: Penguin.
• Younas, A., Rasheed, S. P., Sundus, A., & Inayat, S. (2020). Nurses’ perspectives of self-awareness in nursing practice: A descriptive qualitative study. Nursing & Health Sciences ,  22 (2), 398-405.

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the scoring results for Self-Consciousness-Scale. is not clear after i sum the result for each category how shall i know if i’m doing good or not so could you please advise how to know the scale for Private Self-Consciousness and the others after sum all the related point

The Self Consciousness Scale measures two aspects: private self-consciousness (inner thoughts and emotions) and public self-consciousness (how one appears to others). People who score higher on private self-consciousness tend to be more introspective and attuned to their inner experiences (which can also lead to rumination). Scoring higher in public self-consciousness relates to being more attuned to how they present themselves to others and may feel more concerned about social evaluations and judgments.

I hope this answers your question! Kind regards, Julia | Community Manager

Thanks for this. Interesting read and helpful.

I was initially listening to these talks whilst moving around my house .I found I needed to stop and REALLY listen as part of what I was doing was avoiding some things that were uncomfortable and challenging .Thankyou for the first part of a journey I NEED to travel

This was an amazing read, thank you so much for compiling all of this!

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Self Awareness Exercises (12 Walkthroughs)

Who are you? What are you really feeling right now? If you do not make changes to your environment, how are you going to feel in five minutes, ten minutes, or an hour? These might seem like big questions, but harnessing the power of self-awareness can show you the answer. Not everyone is born with self-awareness. Understanding our feelings, behaviors, and general personalities takes time, intention, and practice. On this page, you will find self-awareness exercises to help you tap into the person you are and all that you bring to this world. 

What Is Self-Awareness? 

Self-awareness is the experience of ourselves as unique individuals. Every single human being on the planet has a different set of experiences, thoughts, and memories that shape who they are, what decisions they make, and how they feel. When you build self-awareness, you can identify what makes you the person you are. 

Why is this so important? Self-awareness can help you make tough decisions, reflect on your goals, and set yourself up for success in whatever you want to achieve. If you have a solid understanding of who you are, you will know what you’re capable of and what you need to do to get to where you want to go. Self-awareness can also show you where you want to go in the first place!

Self-awareness is harder to grasp than it seems. The world is constantly telling us who to be or what to do. These self-awareness exercises will help you determine who you are, outside of what the world says or believes. 

12 Self-Awareness Exercises 

• Mindfulness Meditation

Mind Mapping

Personality tests , talking to friends or family, getting out of your comfort zone, listening to how you talk to yourself , create a personal mission statement, write a letter to your young self, do the funeral test, make a bucket list, reflect…while at the gym.

Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. You could be mindful of your surroundings or mindful of what’s going on inside yourself. As you build your self-awareness, you will notice when you feel tension throughout your body or that feelings of anger, sadness, or frustration are welling up. Mindfulness meditation can help you notice these feelings and increase self-awareness. Without self-awareness, these feelings can build to a point that you act out of extreme emotions (with likely negative consequences.) Self-awareness exercises like mindfulness meditation can help you anticipate uncontrollable stress so that you can control it and change your surroundings appropriately. 

You can start a mindfulness practice by looking up guided meditations on YouTube, Calm, Headspace, or Insight Timer. Or, you can sit very still and just listen to the sound of your breath. It isn’t easy to stay this still and aware for a long period of time, but you do not have to be perfect to gain something from your meditation practice.  

What’s on your mind? A mind map can help you organize your thoughts. Start by drawing one central idea or question in the middle of the map. To make your self-awareness exercise, that central question can be, “Who am I?” Reflect on this question and write the answer as various “branches” on your mind map. Elaborate with branches off of these branches as you see fit. This is a great exercise for visual learners who want to “see” their mind on the page.

Writing your thoughts and feelings down on paper will stimulate other parts of your brain than if you let your mind wander and ramble. Take some time each day to write down how you are feeling or what you did that day. If you are focusing on self-awareness, consider writing down one decision you made that day and why you made it. What factors went into that decision? How did you feel when you made that decision? Had you eaten, slept properly, or just had a stressful phone call before that decision was made? As you explore these decisions, you may discover what you can change about your routine to make better decisions. 

(Interested in journaling? Find prompts, studies on journaling, and more by reading about the Benefits of Journaling .) 

Curious as to how your personality compares to others? Take a test! There are plenty of personality tests available for business leaders, social butterflies, and your average Joe! Keep in mind that these tests don’t tell the entire story of your personality, and your personality can change over time. Use these results as a springboard for reflection, introspection, and conversations about who you are. 

• MBTI Test 
• Sexual Orientation Test
• 3-in-1 Personality Test  
• Type A-B Test

We are the only people who cannot see ourselves without the help of a mirror. Isn’t that fascinating? We can gain self-awareness by talking to people who have an outside perspective on our actions, behaviors, and decisions. Sit down with friends and family and let them know what your goals are regarding self-awareness. Then, ask if they have the space and time to share their thoughts with you. If they are open to a conversation, listen to what they have to say. Their insight can show you what your actions look like to a bystander, and where you may be miscommunicating your feelings through your words or actions. 

What would you do if you were faced with a really tough decision? Maybe you don’t know today, but there’s one way to find out for sure! Plan to get out of your comfort zone. Try a new hobby, travel to a new country, or introduce yourself to someone who intimidates you. You may just surprise yourself with your courage.

Would you talk to your friends the way that you talk to yourself? If you’re not sure, listen to how you talk to yourself. Record or write down the reactions you have as you approach the day, make decisions, and interact with others. Put them away and read them out loud to yourself at a later time. Do you speak to yourself too harshly sometimes? Do you make excuses for yourself? How do your mood, physical health, and external factors affect the way you speak to yourself? Seeking to answer all of these questions is a great self-awareness exercise. 

Businesses create mission statements to communicate their goals and values as an organization. In times of distress or confusion, leaders and teams can refer back to the mission statement for guidance. As a self-awareness exercise, create a mission statement for yourself. What is your mission in this world? What values guide you as you set out to accomplish it? Your mission statement is uniquely yours. Create it without judgment and keep it nearby when you need to make a decision or want to reflect. 

Part of self-awareness is understanding how you’ve changed and grown over the years. Take some time to write a letter to your younger self. Answer the following questions: 

• What should your younger self love about themselves? 
• How has the world shaped your younger self to be the person they are? 
• What changes are coming up? What should they prepare for? 
• Is your younger self worrying about something that resolves itself? 
• Will you accomplish the goals of your younger self? 

Take this self-exercise as a time to reflect on how the events of your life have shaped you into the person you are today. 

Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, created this self-awareness exercise. He encourages people to sit and reflect on what people might say about them at their funerals. You can engage in this practice while journaling or going on a walk. What will people say about you? What stories might they tell? Who will show up at your funeral? Although this exercise can feel morbid, it offers an opportunity to think about your life today and what you would like it to look like before you die. Are there relationships you need to mend? Are there relationships you need to seek out? The reality of life is that it ends in death. After yours, what will people have to say? How can you change that, if necessary, for the better? 

Another morbid but eye-opening exercise is writing a bucket list. What things do you want to do before you kick the bucket? While many people add once-in-a-lifetime activities, like bungee jumping or skydiving, a bucket list is more than these events. You could put falling in love on your bucket list or forgiving someone who hurt you in the past. Maybe you want to help people or visit a certain place in the US. As you write down these bucket list items, consider what they say about you and the type of life you want to live. 

Sometimes, it’s not what you reflect on that makes a difference but where you do your reflection. Changing up where you think about yourself and your life could give you a new perspective. One example of this is thinking about your goals while completing a workout. Talk through your goals with a personal trainer or just reflect on where you are in life while going for a walk. Bilateral stimulation (or using the right and left side of your body in a pattern) encourages different thinking patterns and allows you to see yourself in a new way.

Related posts:

• Mindfulness Exercises (List + Tricks)
• MBSR: Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (Examples)
• Blue Eyes Brown Eyes - Jane Elliott
• Gratitude Exercises (List + Explanations)

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• Chapter 4: Mastering Self-Management
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• Chapter 2: Accepting Personal Responsibility
• Chapter 3: Discovering Self-Motivation
• Chapter 5: Employing Interdependence
• Chapter 6: Gaining Self-Awareness
• Chapter 7: Adopting Lifelong Learning
• Chapter 8: Developing Emotional Intelligence
• Chapter 9: Staying OnCourse to Your Success
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This Oregon State University handout shows you three different ways to set priorities, including the Quadrants you learned about in Chapter 4.

Do you spend a lot of time in Quadrant IV, doing actions that are not important and not urgent? Use this form to help identify your self-defeating behavior patterns with time management.

• Weekly Calendar A blank weekly calendar brought to you by The Learning Corner @ the Academic Success Center success.oregonstate.edu/learning
• Procrastination Quotient Are you a procrastinator? Not sure? Take this quick, 10-question quiz to find out. This rating system is by H. E. Florey of the University of Alabama Counseling Center.

This video offers practical tips for managing the way you use time, including scheduling, using a planner, and working in extra credit.

"If you don't manage your time, you'll waste a lot of it!"

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