20 sentence essay example

How To Start An Essay (With 20 Great Examples)

Starting your essay is probably the most difficult thing to do in the whole writing process.

Facing a blank page and unsure how to start your essay? Crafting a compelling essay isn’t innate for everyone. While it’s about presenting clear ideas, even top students can struggle. For many, meeting deadlines or ensuring quality becomes daunting, leading them to consult professionals like do my essay cheap . These experts whip up top-tier essays swiftly. A standout essay can elevate your academic status, with the introduction being the pivotal hook. Many opt to hire essay writers for that impeccable start. But crafting an engaging intro is doable. Want to captivate your readers immediately? Or impress academic panels? If the task still feels daunting, there’s always the option to buy assignments online for guaranteed quality. But let’s explore ways to start an essay on your own.

How to start your essay? – The most straightforward advice

In his famous book  “On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft” , Stephen King said: “The scariest moment is always just before you start.” So the best thing to do is to start writing as soon as you can. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just sit down and write anything, because the Muse comes to those who are brave enough to start. Maybe you’ll throw half of it away, but at least you’ll have something to hang on to.

How to begin your essay? – The lengthier and more appropriate advice

The aim of an academic essay is usually to persuade readers to change their minds about something. It can also be a descriptive, expository, argumentative, or narrative essay .

But regardless of the  format of the essay , the introduction should still have these basic ingredients:

• Introduce the topic – let the reader know what is it about straight away.
• Put the topic in an appropriate context. Frame it, and provide some background information.
• Narrow down the focus. If your essay is too broad, you’ll lose the interest of the reader and fail to address the important issue.
• Answer an important question or make a strong statement which you’ll defend throughout the essay.
• Orientate the reader. In the beginning, you need to answer questions like who, what, when, and how. Remember that the reader probably doesn’t know all the facts that you do.
• Briefly mention the main ideas you are going to discuss in the essay.

How long should an essay introduction be?

It all depends on the overall length of your essay. If it’s a standard, five-paragraph  college essay , the introduction should only take one paragraph or 60-80 words. But if you’re writing something longer, for example, a five-page interpretation of a literary work, the introduction could take two to three paragraphs or 120-150 words. You can measure the length using a simple word counter but don’t obsess too much about the number. The crucial thing is to say what you need to say and impact the reader.

The aim of the introductory paragraph

The first paragraph is always tricky because it serves a double purpose. It has to state what the essay will be about, but it needs to hook the readers and motivate them to read on. That’s why you need a perfect balance between clinical precision and artistic flair.

If you truly want to learn how to begin an essay, there are three best ways to do it:

• Read as many  great essays as possible
• Write as many great essays as possible
• Check examples of great essay introductory paragraphs (that’s what you can see below)

20 Great examples and tips on how to start an essay:

1. describe a setting and start with an emotional punch.

“I’ve been to Australia twice so far, but according to my father, I’ve never actually seen it. He made this observation at the home of my cousin Joan, whom he and I visited just before Christmas last year, and it came on the heels of an equally aggressive comment.” – David Sedaris, Laugh, Kookaburra

2. Start with a deeply personal story from your childhood

“One Sunday morning when I was a boy, my father came out of his office and handed me a poem. It was about a honeybee counseling a flea to flee a doggy and see the sea. The barbiturates my father took to regulate his emotions made him insomniac, and I understood that he’d been awake most of the night, laboring over these lines, listing all the words he could think of ending in a long “e.” – Charles D’Ambrosio – Documents

3. Create a mysterious atmosphere

“Moths that fly by day are not properly to be called moths; they do not excite that pleasant sense of dark autumn nights and ivy-blossom which the commonest yellow-underwing asleep in the shadow of the curtain never fails to rouse in us.” – Virginia Woolf – Death of the Moth

4. Throw the reader straight into the middle of the events

“Earlier this summer I was walking down West End Avenue in Manhattan and remembered, with a sadness that nearly knocked me off my feet, just why I came to New York seven years ago and just why I am now about to leave.” – Meghan Daum – My Misspent Youth

5. Start with universal questions of life and death

“I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear. I hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same state.” – Roger Ebert – Go Gentle Into That Good Night

6. Start with a question and then answer it

“What is the charm of necklaces? Why would anyone put something extra around their neck and then invest it with special significance? A necklace doesn’t afford warmth in cold weather, like a scarf, or protection in combat, like chain mail; it only decorates. We might say, it borrows meaning from what it surrounds and sets off, the head with its supremely important material contents, and the face, that register of the soul.” – Emily R. Grosholz – On Necklaces

7. Start with irony

“In Moulmein, in Lower Burma, I was hated by large numbers of people – the only time in my life that I have been important enough for this to happen to me.” – George Orwell – Shooting an Elephant

8. Begin by creating great expectations of what’s to come (use the introduction as bait)

“At a dinner party that will forever be green in the memory of those who attended it, somebody was complaining not just about the epic badness of the novels of Robert Ludlum but also about the badness of their titles. (You know the sort of pretentiousness: The Bourne Supremacy, The Aquitaine Progression, The Ludlum Impersonation, and so forth.) Then it happily occurred to another guest to wonder aloud what a Shakespeare play might be called if named in the Ludlum manner.” – Christopher Hitchens – Assassins of The Mind

9. Start with a puzzle (notice how you start to wonder who is she talking about in this introduction)

“The first time I heard her I didn’t hear her at all. My parents did not prepare me. (The natural thing in these situations is to blame the parents.) She was nowhere to be found on their four-foot-tall wood veneer hi-fi. Given the variety of voices you got to hear on that contraption, her absence was a little strange.” – Zadie Smith – Some Notes on Attunement

10. Start with dark humor

“When I was young, I thought Life: A User’s Manual would teach me how to live and Suicide: A User’s Manual how to die.” – Édouard Levé – When I Look at a Strawberry, I Think of a Tongue

11. Start with an unusual question that will pull the readers in

“Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls’ bicycles.)” – Kurt Vonnegut – Dispatch From A Man Without a Country

12. Commence by taking the reader into the world of mystery and awe

“The earliest experience of art must have been that it was incantatory, magical; art was an instrument of ritual. (Cf. the paintings in the caves at Lascaux, Altamira, Niaux, La Pasiega, etc.) The earliest theory of art, that of the Greek philosophers, proposed that art was mimesis, imitation of reality.” – Susan Sontag – Against Interpretation

13. State your thesis at the very beginning – be clear about it

“Science has beauty, power, and majesty that can provide spiritual as well as practical fulfillment. But superstition and pseudoscience keep getting in the way providing easy answers, casually pressing our awe buttons, and cheapening the experience.” – Carl Sagan – Does Truth Matter – Science, Pseudoscience, and Civilization

14. Start with the obvious that’s not so obvious after all

“To do something well you have to like it. That idea is not exactly novel. We’ve got it down to four words: “Do what you love.” But it’s not enough just to tell people that. Doing what you love is complicated.” – Paul Graham – How To Do What You Love

15. Be unpredictable and highly intellectual

“Once, in a dry season, I wrote in large letters across two pages of a notebook that innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself. Although now, some years later, I marvel that a mind on the outs with itself should have nonetheless made painstaking record of its every tremor, I recall with embarrassing clarity the flavor of those particular ashes. It was a matter of misplaced self-respect.” – Joan Didion – On Self Respect

16. Get straight to the point

“The enormous, pungent, and extremely well marketed Maine Lobster Festival is held every late July in the state’s mid-coast region, meaning the western side of Penobscot Bay, the nerve stem of Maine’s lobster industry.” – David Foster Wallace – Consider The Lobster

17. Start in a deeply emotional, poetic manner

“The collie wakes me up about three times a night, summoning me from a great distance as I row my boat through a dim, complicated dream. She’s on the shoreline, barking. Wake up. She’s staring at me with her head slightly tipped to the side, long nose, gazing eyes, toenails clenched to get a purchase on the wood floor. We used to call her the face of love.” – Jo Ann Beard – The Fourth State of Matter

18. Begin by describing the place and circumstances in great detail

“Two blocks away from the Mississippi State Capitol, and on the same street with it, where our house was when I was a child growing up in Jackson, it was possible to have a little pasture behind your backyard where you could keep a Jersey cow, which we did. My mother herself milked her. A thrifty homemaker, wife, and mother of three, she also did all her cooking. And as far as I can recall, she never set foot inside a grocery store. It wasn’t necessary.” – Eudora Welty – The Little Store

19. Start by presenting an original idea (frame it in a way that the reader never considered before)

“Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent, but the tests that have to be applied to them are not, of course, the same in all cases. In Gandhi’s case the questions one feels inclined to ask are: to what extent was Gandhi moved by vanity — by the consciousness of himself as a humble, naked old man, sitting on a praying mat and shaking empires by sheer spiritual power — and to what extent did he compromise his principles by entering politics, which of their nature are inseparable from coercion and fraud?” – George Orwell – Reflections on Gandhi

20. Be clear-headed and approach the subject as objectively as possible

“Fantasists and zealots can be found on both sides of the debate over guns in America. On the one hand, many gun rights advocates reject even the most sensible restrictions on the sale of weapons to the public. On the other, proponents of stricter gun laws often seem unable to understand why a good person would ever want ready access to a loaded firearm. Between these two extremes, we must find grounds for a rational discussion about the problem of gun violence.” – Sam Harris – The Riddle of The Gun

Looking for an answer on how to start an essay is always tricky. You can get inspiration from many sources, but if you want to create an essay that packs a powerful punch from the very beginning, look inside yourself and come up with at least a few openings. Then, do your best to revise the opening paragraphs a couple of times so you end up with something truly impactful and attention-grabbing. Good luck! Next up, you may want to explore a guide on how to write a great 500-word essay .

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ESSAY in a Sentence Examples: 21 Ways to Use Essay

Have you ever wondered what exactly constitutes an essay? An essay is a piece of writing that presents and argues a particular topic with supported evidence and analysis. Essays are commonly used in academic settings to demonstrate understanding and mastery of a subject.

Essays can vary in length, structure, and format, but most often include an introductory paragraph, body paragraphs that present arguments and evidence, and a concluding paragraph that sums up the main points and provides closure. Whether for a school assignment, a college application, or a professional publication, essays play a crucial role in conveying thoughts, opinions, and information in a structured and persuasive manner.

Table of Contents

7 Examples Of Essay Used In a Sentence For Kids

• Essay writing is fun!
• I like to draw essays .
• My teacher reads my essays .
• I write essays in my notebook.
• Essays have pictures and words.
• I color my essays with crayons.
• I show my essays to my friends.

14 Sentences with Essay Examples

• Your essay should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
• Remember to properly cite your sources in the bibliography section of your essay .
• Make sure to proofread your essay for any grammar or spelling errors before submitting it.
• For your next assignment, choose a topic that you are passionate about to make writing the essay more enjoyable.
• Discuss your essay topic with your classmates to gain different perspectives and ideas.
• Take breaks while writing your essay to avoid burnout and writer’s block.
• Utilize the resources available in the college library to find relevant information for your essay .
• Consider seeking feedback from your professor or a writing tutor to improve the quality of your essay .
• Do not procrastinate on writing your essay and start working on it as soon as the topic is assigned.
• Use a clear and concise writing style in your essay to effectively communicate your ideas.
• Create an outline before starting your essay to organize your thoughts and ensure a logical flow of information.
• Reflect on the feedback received on your previous essay to identify areas for improvement in your writing.
• Attend workshops or seminars on essay writing to enhance your skills and learn new techniques.
• Collaborate with your peers in group discussions to brainstorm ideas for your essay and receive constructive criticism.

How To Use Essay in Sentences?

To use the word “Essay” in a sentence, you can follow these simple steps:

Understand the meaning of the word Essay : An essay is a short piece of writing on a particular subject that presents the author’s own arguments and ideas.

Choose a topic: Select a topic that you want to write or speak about in your sentence. It could be anything you want to describe, analyze or elaborate on.

Construct your sentence: When constructing your sentence, make sure to include the word Essay in a way that makes sense. For example, “She wrote an essay on the importance of education.”

Use proper grammar: Ensure that your sentence is grammatically correct by following the rules of sentence structure, punctuation, and tense.

Practice using the word: To become more comfortable with incorporating the word Essay in a sentence, practice writing different sentences using it. This will help you become more familiar with how to use the word in various contexts.

By following these steps, you can effectively incorporate the word Essay in a sentence with ease. Remember to practice regularly to enhance your writing skills and vocabulary.

In crafting an essay, sentences serve as the fundamental building blocks of communication. Each sentence within an essay contributes to conveying ideas, arguments, and evidence to the reader, shaping the overall clarity and coherence of the piece. By constructing well-crafted sentences, essay writers can effectively convey their thoughts and engage their audience.

From topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph to concluding sentences that summarize key points, every sentence plays a crucial role in guiding the reader through the essay. By structuring sentences with clarity, variety, and precision, writers can enhance the readability and impact of their essays. Overall, the art of forming concise, cohesive sentences is essential in producing a successful and compelling essay.

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Argumentative Essay Examples & Analysis

July 20, 2023

Writing successful argumentative or persuasive essays is a sort of academic rite of passage: every student, at some point in their academic career, will have to do it. And not without reason—writing a good argumentative essay requires the ability to organize one’s thoughts, reason logically, and present evidence in support of claims. They even require empathy, as authors are forced to inhabit and then respond to viewpoints that run counter to their own. Here, we’ll look at some argumentative essay examples and analyze their strengths and weaknesses.

What is an argumentative essay?

Before we turn to those argumentative essay examples, let’s get precise about what an argumentative essay is. An argumentative essay is an essay that advances a central point, thesis, or claim using evidence and facts. In other words, argumentative essays are essays that argue on behalf of a particular viewpoint. The goal of an argumentative essay is to convince the reader that the essay’s core idea is correct.

Good argumentative essays rely on facts and evidence. Personal anecdotes, appeals to emotion , and opinions that aren’t grounded in evidence just won’t fly. Let’s say I wanted to write an essay arguing that cats are the best pets. It wouldn’t be enough to say that I love having a cat as a pet. That’s just my opinion. Nor would it be enough to cite my downstairs neighbor Claudia, who also has a cat and who also prefers cats to dogs. That’s just an anecdote.

For the essay to have a chance at succeeding, I’d have to use evidence to support my argument. Maybe there are studies that compare the cost of cat ownership to dog ownership and conclude that cat ownership is less expensive. Perhaps there’s medical data that shows that more people are allergic to dogs than they are to cats. And maybe there are surveys that show that cat owners are more satisfied with their pets than are dog owners. I have no idea if any of that is true. The point is that successful argumentative essays use evidence from credible sources to back up their points.

Argumentative essay structure

Important to note before we examine a few argumentative essay examples: most argumentative essays will follow a standard 5-paragraph format. This format entails an introductory paragraph that lays out the essay’s central claim. Next, there are three body paragraphs that each advance sub-claims and evidence to support the central claim. Lastly, there is a conclusion that summarizes the points made. That’s not to say that every good argumentative essay will adhere strictly to the 5-paragraph format. And there is plenty of room for flexibility and creativity within the 5-paragraph format. For example, a good argumentative essay that follows the 5-paragraph template will also generally include counterarguments and rebuttals.

Introduction Example

Now let’s move on to those argumentative essay examples, and examine in particular a couple of introductions. The first takes on a common argumentative essay topic —capital punishment.

The death penalty has long been a divisive issue in the United States. 24 states allow the death penalty, while the other 26 have either banned the death penalty outright or issued moratoriums halting the practice. Proponents of the death penalty argue that it’s an effective deterrent against crime. Time and time again, however, this argument has been shown to be false. Capital punishment does not deter crime. But not only that—the death penalty is irreversible, which allows our imperfect justice system no room for error. Finally, the application of the death penalty is racially biased—the population of death row is over 41% Black , despite Black Americans making up just 13% of the U.S. population. For all these reasons, the death penalty should be outlawed across the board in the United States.

Why this introduction works: First, it’s clear. It lays out the essay’s thesis: that the death penalty should be outlawed in the United States. It also names the sub-arguments the author is going to use to support the thesis: (1), capital punishment does not deter crime, (2), it’s irreversible, and (3), it’s a racially biased practice. In laying out these three points, the author is also laying out the structure of the essay to follow. Each of the body paragraphs will take on one of the three sub-arguments presented in the introduction.

Argumentative Essay Examples (Continued)

Something else I like about this introduction is that it acknowledges and then refutes a common counterargument—the idea that the death penalty is a crime deterrent. Notice also the flow of the first two sentences. The first flags the essay’s topic. But it also makes a claim—that the issue of capital punishment is politically divisive. The following sentence backs this claim up. Essentially half of the country allows the practice; the other half has banned it. This is a feature not just of solid introductions but of good argumentative essays in general—all the essay’s claims will be backed up with evidence.

How it could be improved: Okay, I know I just got through singing the praises of the first pair of sentences, but if I were really nitpicking, I might take issue with them. Why? The first sentence is a bit of a placeholder. It’s a platitude, a way for the author to get a foothold in the piece. The essay isn’t about how divisive the death penalty is; it’s about why it ought to be abolished. When it comes to writing an argumentative essay, I always like to err on the side of blunt. There’s nothing wrong with starting an argumentative essay with the main idea: Capital punishment is an immoral and ineffective form of punishment, and the practice should be abolished .

Let’s move on to another argumentative essay example. Here’s an introduction that deals with the effects of technology on the brain:

Much of the critical discussion around technology today revolves around social media. Critics argue that social media has cut us off from our fellow citizens, trapping us in “information silos” and contributing to political polarization. Social media also promotes unrealistic and unhealthy beauty standards, which can lead to anxiety and depression. What’s more, the social media apps themselves are designed to addict their users. These are all legitimate critiques of social media, and they ought to be taken seriously. But the problem of technology today goes deeper than social media. The internet itself is the problem. Whether it’s on our phones or our laptops, on a social media app, or doing a Google search, the internet promotes distracted thinking and superficial learning. The internet is, quite literally, rewiring our brains.

Why this introduction works: This introduction hooks the reader by tying a topical debate about social media to the essay’s main subject—the problem of the internet itself. The introduction makes it clear what the essay is going to be about; the sentence, “But the problem of technology…” signals to the reader that the main idea is coming. I like the clarity with which the main idea is stated, and, as in the previous introduction, the main idea sets up the essay to follow.

How it could be improved: I like how direct this introduction is, but it might be improved by being a little more specific. Without getting too technical, the introduction might tell the reader what it means to “promote distracted thinking and superficial learning.” It might also hint as to why these are good arguments. For example, are there neurological or psychological studies that back this claim up? A simple fix might be: Whether it’s on our phones or our laptops, on a social media app, or doing a Google search, countless studies have shown that the internet promotes distracted thinking and superficial learning . The body paragraphs would then elaborate on those points. And the last sentence, while catchy, is a bit vague.

Body Paragraph Example

Let’s stick with our essay on capital punishment and continue on to the first body paragraph.

Proponents of the death penalty have long claimed that the practice is an effective deterrent to crime. It might not be pretty, they say, but its deterrent effects prevent further crime. Therefore, its continued use is justified. The problem is that this is just not borne out in the data. There is simply no evidence that the death penalty deters crime more than other forms of punishment, like long prison sentences. States, where the death penalty is still carried out, do not have lower crime rates than states where the practice has been abolished. States that have abandoned the death penalty likewise show no increase in crime or murder rates.

Body Paragraph (Continued)

For example, the state of Louisiana, where the death penalty is legal, has a murder rate of 21.3 per 100,000 residents. In Iowa, where the death penalty was abolished in 1965, the murder rate is 3.2 per 100,000. In Kentucky the death penalty is legal and the murder rate is 9.6; in Michigan where it’s illegal, the murder rate is 8.7. The death penalty simply has no bearing on murder rates. If it did, we’d see markedly lower murder rates in states that maintain the practice. But that’s not the case. Capital punishment does not deter crime. Therefore, it should be abolished.

Why this paragraph works: This body paragraph is successful because it coheres with the main idea set out in the introduction. It supports the essay’s first sub-argument—that capital punishment does not deter crime—and in so doing, it supports the essay’s main idea—that capital punishment should be abolished. How does it do that? By appealing to the data. A nice feature of this paragraph is that it simultaneously debunks a common counterargument and advances the essay’s thesis. It also supplies a few direct examples (murder rates in states like Kentucky, Michigan, etc.) without getting too technical. Importantly, the last few sentences tie the data back to the main idea of the essay. It’s not enough to pepper your essay with statistics. A good argumentative essay will unpack the statistics, tell the reader why the statistics matter, and how they support or confirm the essay’s main idea.

How it could be improved: The author is missing one logical connection at the end of the paragraph. The author shows that capital punishment doesn’t deter crime, but then just jumps to their conclusion. They needed to establish a logical bridge to get from the sub-argument to the conclusion. That bridge might be: if the deterrent effect is being used as a justification to maintain the practice, but the deterrent effect doesn’t really exist, then , in the absence of some other justification, the death penalty should be abolished. The author almost got there, but just needed to make that one final logical connection.

Conclusion Example

Once we’ve supported each of our sub-arguments with a corresponding body paragraph, it’s time to move on to the conclusion.

It might be nice to think that executing murderers prevents future murders from happening, that our justice system is infallible and no one is ever wrongly put to death, and that the application of the death penalty is free of bias. But as we have seen, each of those thoughts are just comforting fictions. The death penalty does not prevent future crime—if it did, we’d see higher crime rates in states that’ve done away with capital punishment. The death penalty is an irreversible punishment meted out by an imperfect justice system—as a result, wrongful executions are unavoidable. And the death penalty disproportionately affects people of color. The death penalty is an unjustifiable practice—both practically and morally. Therefore, the United States should do away with the practice and join the more than 85 world nations that have already done so.

Why this conclusion works: It concisely summarizes the points made throughout the essay. But notice that it’s not identical to the introduction. The conclusion makes it clear that our understanding of the issue has changed with the essay. It not only revisits the sub-arguments, it expounds upon them. And to put a bow on everything, it restates the thesis—this time, though, with a little more emotional oomph.

How it could be improved: I’d love to see a little more specificity with regard to the sub-arguments. Instead of just rehashing the second sub-argument—that wrongful executions are unavoidable—the author could’ve included a quick statistic to give the argument more weight. For example: The death penalty is an irreversible punishment meted out by an imperfect justice system—as a result, wrongful executions are unavoidable. Since 1973, at least 190 people have been put to death who were later found to be innocent.

An argumentative essay is a powerful way to convey one’s ideas. As an academic exercise, mastering the art of the argumentative essay requires students to hone their skills of critical thinking, rhetoric, and logical reasoning. The best argumentative essays communicate their ideas clearly and back up their claims with evidence.

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 3 strong argumentative essay examples, analyzed.

General Education

Need to defend your opinion on an issue? Argumentative essays are one of the most popular types of essays you’ll write in school. They combine persuasive arguments with fact-based research, and, when done well, can be powerful tools for making someone agree with your point of view. If you’re struggling to write an argumentative essay or just want to learn more about them, seeing examples can be a big help.

After giving an overview of this type of essay, we provide three argumentative essay examples. After each essay, we explain in-depth how the essay was structured, what worked, and where the essay could be improved. We end with tips for making your own argumentative essay as strong as possible.

What Is an Argumentative Essay?

An argumentative essay is an essay that uses evidence and facts to support the claim it’s making. Its purpose is to persuade the reader to agree with the argument being made.

A good argumentative essay will use facts and evidence to support the argument, rather than just the author’s thoughts and opinions. For example, say you wanted to write an argumentative essay stating that Charleston, SC is a great destination for families. You couldn’t just say that it’s a great place because you took your family there and enjoyed it. For it to be an argumentative essay, you need to have facts and data to support your argument, such as the number of child-friendly attractions in Charleston, special deals you can get with kids, and surveys of people who visited Charleston as a family and enjoyed it. The first argument is based entirely on feelings, whereas the second is based on evidence that can be proven.

The standard five paragraph format is common, but not required, for argumentative essays. These essays typically follow one of two formats: the Toulmin model or the Rogerian model.

• The Toulmin model is the most common. It begins with an introduction, follows with a thesis/claim, and gives data and evidence to support that claim. This style of essay also includes rebuttals of counterarguments.
• The Rogerian model analyzes two sides of an argument and reaches a conclusion after weighing the strengths and weaknesses of each.

3 Good Argumentative Essay Examples + Analysis

Below are three examples of argumentative essays, written by yours truly in my school days, as well as analysis of what each did well and where it could be improved.

Argumentative Essay Example 1

Proponents of this idea state that it will save local cities and towns money because libraries are expensive to maintain. They also believe it will encourage more people to read because they won’t have to travel to a library to get a book; they can simply click on what they want to read and read it from wherever they are. They could also access more materials because libraries won’t have to buy physical copies of books; they can simply rent out as many digital copies as they need.

However, it would be a serious mistake to replace libraries with tablets. First, digital books and resources are associated with less learning and more problems than print resources. A study done on tablet vs book reading found that people read 20-30% slower on tablets, retain 20% less information, and understand 10% less of what they read compared to people who read the same information in print. Additionally, staring too long at a screen has been shown to cause numerous health problems, including blurred vision, dizziness, dry eyes, headaches, and eye strain, at much higher instances than reading print does. People who use tablets and mobile devices excessively also have a higher incidence of more serious health issues such as fibromyalgia, shoulder and back pain, carpal tunnel syndrome, and muscle strain. I know that whenever I read from my e-reader for too long, my eyes begin to feel tired and my neck hurts. We should not add to these problems by giving people, especially young people, more reasons to look at screens.

Second, it is incredibly narrow-minded to assume that the only service libraries offer is book lending. Libraries have a multitude of benefits, and many are only available if the library has a physical location. Some of these benefits include acting as a quiet study space, giving people a way to converse with their neighbors, holding classes on a variety of topics, providing jobs, answering patron questions, and keeping the community connected. One neighborhood found that, after a local library instituted community events such as play times for toddlers and parents, job fairs for teenagers, and meeting spaces for senior citizens, over a third of residents reported feeling more connected to their community. Similarly, a Pew survey conducted in 2015 found that nearly two-thirds of American adults feel that closing their local library would have a major impact on their community. People see libraries as a way to connect with others and get their questions answered, benefits tablets can’t offer nearly as well or as easily.

While replacing libraries with tablets may seem like a simple solution, it would encourage people to spend even more time looking at digital screens, despite the myriad issues surrounding them. It would also end access to many of the benefits of libraries that people have come to rely on. In many areas, libraries are such an important part of the community network that they could never be replaced by a simple object.

The author begins by giving an overview of the counter-argument, then the thesis appears as the first sentence in the third paragraph. The essay then spends the rest of the paper dismantling the counter argument and showing why readers should believe the other side.

What this essay does well:

• Although it’s a bit unusual to have the thesis appear fairly far into the essay, it works because, once the thesis is stated, the rest of the essay focuses on supporting it since the counter-argument has already been discussed earlier in the paper.
• This essay includes numerous facts and cites studies to support its case. By having specific data to rely on, the author’s argument is stronger and readers will be more inclined to agree with it.
• For every argument the other side makes, the author makes sure to refute it and follow up with why her opinion is the stronger one. In order to make a strong argument, it’s important to dismantle the other side, which this essay does this by making the author's view appear stronger.
• This is a shorter paper, and if it needed to be expanded to meet length requirements, it could include more examples and go more into depth with them, such as by explaining specific cases where people benefited from local libraries.
• Additionally, while the paper uses lots of data, the author also mentions their own experience with using tablets. This should be removed since argumentative essays focus on facts and data to support an argument, not the author’s own opinion or experiences. Replacing that with more data on health issues associated with screen time would strengthen the essay.
• Some of the points made aren't completely accurate , particularly the one about digital books being cheaper. It actually often costs a library more money to rent out numerous digital copies of a book compared to buying a single physical copy. Make sure in your own essay you thoroughly research each of the points and rebuttals you make, otherwise you'll look like you don't know the issue that well.

Argumentative Essay Example 2

There are multiple drugs available to treat malaria, and many of them work well and save lives, but malaria eradication programs that focus too much on them and not enough on prevention haven’t seen long-term success in Sub-Saharan Africa. A major program to combat malaria was WHO’s Global Malaria Eradication Programme. Started in 1955, it had a goal of eliminating malaria in Africa within the next ten years. Based upon previously successful programs in Brazil and the United States, the program focused mainly on vector control. This included widely distributing chloroquine and spraying large amounts of DDT. More than one billion dollars was spent trying to abolish malaria. However, the program suffered from many problems and in 1969, WHO was forced to admit that the program had not succeeded in eradicating malaria. The number of people in Sub-Saharan Africa who contracted malaria as well as the number of malaria deaths had actually increased over 10% during the time the program was active.

One of the major reasons for the failure of the project was that it set uniform strategies and policies. By failing to consider variations between governments, geography, and infrastructure, the program was not nearly as successful as it could have been. Sub-Saharan Africa has neither the money nor the infrastructure to support such an elaborate program, and it couldn’t be run the way it was meant to. Most African countries don't have the resources to send all their people to doctors and get shots, nor can they afford to clear wetlands or other malaria prone areas. The continent’s spending per person for eradicating malaria was just a quarter of what Brazil spent. Sub-Saharan Africa simply can’t rely on a plan that requires more money, infrastructure, and expertise than they have to spare.

Additionally, the widespread use of chloroquine has created drug resistant parasites which are now plaguing Sub-Saharan Africa. Because chloroquine was used widely but inconsistently, mosquitoes developed resistance, and chloroquine is now nearly completely ineffective in Sub-Saharan Africa, with over 95% of mosquitoes resistant to it. As a result, newer, more expensive drugs need to be used to prevent and treat malaria, which further drives up the cost of malaria treatment for a region that can ill afford it.

Instead of developing plans to treat malaria after the infection has incurred, programs should focus on preventing infection from occurring in the first place. Not only is this plan cheaper and more effective, reducing the number of people who contract malaria also reduces loss of work/school days which can further bring down the productivity of the region.

One of the cheapest and most effective ways of preventing malaria is to implement insecticide-treated bed nets (ITNs).  These nets provide a protective barrier around the person or people using them. While untreated bed nets are still helpful, those treated with insecticides are much more useful because they stop mosquitoes from biting people through the nets, and they help reduce mosquito populations in a community, thus helping people who don’t even own bed nets.  Bed nets are also very effective because most mosquito bites occur while the person is sleeping, so bed nets would be able to drastically reduce the number of transmissions during the night. In fact, transmission of malaria can be reduced by as much as 90% in areas where the use of ITNs is widespread. Because money is so scarce in Sub-Saharan Africa, the low cost is a great benefit and a major reason why the program is so successful. Bed nets cost roughly 2 USD to make, last several years, and can protect two adults. Studies have shown that, for every 100-1000 more nets are being used, one less child dies of malaria. With an estimated 300 million people in Africa not being protected by mosquito nets, there’s the potential to save three million lives by spending just a few dollars per person.

Reducing the number of people who contract malaria would also reduce poverty levels in Africa significantly, thus improving other aspects of society like education levels and the economy. Vector control is more effective than treatment strategies because it means fewer people are getting sick. When fewer people get sick, the working population is stronger as a whole because people are not put out of work from malaria, nor are they caring for sick relatives. Malaria-afflicted families can typically only harvest 40% of the crops that healthy families can harvest. Additionally, a family with members who have malaria spends roughly a quarter of its income treatment, not including the loss of work they also must deal with due to the illness. It’s estimated that malaria costs Africa 12 billion USD in lost income every year. A strong working population creates a stronger economy, which Sub-Saharan Africa is in desperate need of.  

This essay begins with an introduction, which ends with the thesis (that malaria eradication plans in Sub-Saharan Africa should focus on prevention rather than treatment). The first part of the essay lays out why the counter argument (treatment rather than prevention) is not as effective, and the second part of the essay focuses on why prevention of malaria is the better path to take.

• The thesis appears early, is stated clearly, and is supported throughout the rest of the essay. This makes the argument clear for readers to understand and follow throughout the essay.
• There’s lots of solid research in this essay, including specific programs that were conducted and how successful they were, as well as specific data mentioned throughout. This evidence helps strengthen the author’s argument.
• The author makes a case for using expanding bed net use over waiting until malaria occurs and beginning treatment, but not much of a plan is given for how the bed nets would be distributed or how to ensure they’re being used properly. By going more into detail of what she believes should be done, the author would be making a stronger argument.
• The introduction of the essay does a good job of laying out the seriousness of the problem, but the conclusion is short and abrupt. Expanding it into its own paragraph would give the author a final way to convince readers of her side of the argument.

Argumentative Essay Example 3

There are many ways payments could work. They could be in the form of a free-market approach, where athletes are able to earn whatever the market is willing to pay them, it could be a set amount of money per athlete, or student athletes could earn income from endorsements, autographs, and control of their likeness, similar to the way top Olympians earn money.

Proponents of the idea believe that, because college athletes are the ones who are training, participating in games, and bringing in audiences, they should receive some sort of compensation for their work. If there were no college athletes, the NCAA wouldn’t exist, college coaches wouldn’t receive there (sometimes very high) salaries, and brands like Nike couldn’t profit from college sports. In fact, the NCAA brings in roughly $1 billion in revenue a year, but college athletes don’t receive any of that money in the form of a paycheck. Additionally, people who believe college athletes should be paid state that paying college athletes will actually encourage them to remain in college longer and not turn pro as quickly, either by giving them a way to begin earning money in college or requiring them to sign a contract stating they’ll stay at the university for a certain number of years while making an agreed-upon salary.  

Supporters of this idea point to Zion Williamson, the Duke basketball superstar, who, during his freshman year, sustained a serious knee injury. Many argued that, even if he enjoyed playing for Duke, it wasn’t worth risking another injury and ending his professional career before it even began for a program that wasn’t paying him. Williamson seems to have agreed with them and declared his eligibility for the NCAA draft later that year. If he was being paid, he may have stayed at Duke longer. In fact, roughly a third of student athletes surveyed stated that receiving a salary while in college would make them “strongly consider” remaining collegiate athletes longer before turning pro.

Paying athletes could also stop the recruitment scandals that have plagued the NCAA. In 2018, the NCAA stripped the University of Louisville's men's basketball team of its 2013 national championship title because it was discovered coaches were using sex workers to entice recruits to join the team. There have been dozens of other recruitment scandals where college athletes and recruits have been bribed with anything from having their grades changed, to getting free cars, to being straight out bribed. By paying college athletes and putting their salaries out in the open, the NCAA could end the illegal and underhanded ways some schools and coaches try to entice athletes to join.

People who argue against the idea of paying college athletes believe the practice could be disastrous for college sports. By paying athletes, they argue, they’d turn college sports into a bidding war, where only the richest schools could afford top athletes, and the majority of schools would be shut out from developing a talented team (though some argue this already happens because the best players often go to the most established college sports programs, who typically pay their coaches millions of dollars per year). It could also ruin the tight camaraderie of many college teams if players become jealous that certain teammates are making more money than they are.

They also argue that paying college athletes actually means only a small fraction would make significant money. Out of the 350 Division I athletic departments, fewer than a dozen earn any money. Nearly all the money the NCAA makes comes from men’s football and basketball, so paying college athletes would make a small group of men--who likely will be signed to pro teams and begin making millions immediately out of college--rich at the expense of other players.

Those against paying college athletes also believe that the athletes are receiving enough benefits already. The top athletes already receive scholarships that are worth tens of thousands per year, they receive free food/housing/textbooks, have access to top medical care if they are injured, receive top coaching, get travel perks and free gear, and can use their time in college as a way to capture the attention of professional recruiters. No other college students receive anywhere near as much from their schools.

People on this side also point out that, while the NCAA brings in a massive amount of money each year, it is still a non-profit organization. How? Because over 95% of those profits are redistributed to its members’ institutions in the form of scholarships, grants, conferences, support for Division II and Division III teams, and educational programs. Taking away a significant part of that revenue would hurt smaller programs that rely on that money to keep running.

While both sides have good points, it’s clear that the negatives of paying college athletes far outweigh the positives. College athletes spend a significant amount of time and energy playing for their school, but they are compensated for it by the scholarships and perks they receive. Adding a salary to that would result in a college athletic system where only a small handful of athletes (those likely to become millionaires in the professional leagues) are paid by a handful of schools who enter bidding wars to recruit them, while the majority of student athletics and college athletic programs suffer or even shut down for lack of money. Continuing to offer the current level of benefits to student athletes makes it possible for as many people to benefit from and enjoy college sports as possible.

This argumentative essay follows the Rogerian model. It discusses each side, first laying out multiple reasons people believe student athletes should be paid, then discussing reasons why the athletes shouldn’t be paid. It ends by stating that college athletes shouldn’t be paid by arguing that paying them would destroy college athletics programs and cause them to have many of the issues professional sports leagues have.

• Both sides of the argument are well developed, with multiple reasons why people agree with each side. It allows readers to get a full view of the argument and its nuances.
• Certain statements on both sides are directly rebuffed in order to show where the strengths and weaknesses of each side lie and give a more complete and sophisticated look at the argument.
• Using the Rogerian model can be tricky because oftentimes you don’t explicitly state your argument until the end of the paper. Here, the thesis doesn’t appear until the first sentence of the final paragraph. That doesn’t give readers a lot of time to be convinced that your argument is the right one, compared to a paper where the thesis is stated in the beginning and then supported throughout the paper. This paper could be strengthened if the final paragraph was expanded to more fully explain why the author supports the view, or if the paper had made it clearer that paying athletes was the weaker argument throughout.

3 Tips for Writing a Good Argumentative Essay

Now that you’ve seen examples of what good argumentative essay samples look like, follow these three tips when crafting your own essay.

#1: Make Your Thesis Crystal Clear

The thesis is the key to your argumentative essay; if it isn’t clear or readers can’t find it easily, your entire essay will be weak as a result. Always make sure that your thesis statement is easy to find. The typical spot for it is the final sentence of the introduction paragraph, but if it doesn’t fit in that spot for your essay, try to at least put it as the first or last sentence of a different paragraph so it stands out more.

Also make sure that your thesis makes clear what side of the argument you’re on. After you’ve written it, it’s a great idea to show your thesis to a couple different people--classmates are great for this. Just by reading your thesis they should be able to understand what point you’ll be trying to make with the rest of your essay.

#2: Show Why the Other Side Is Weak

When writing your essay, you may be tempted to ignore the other side of the argument and just focus on your side, but don’t do this. The best argumentative essays really tear apart the other side to show why readers shouldn’t believe it. Before you begin writing your essay, research what the other side believes, and what their strongest points are. Then, in your essay, be sure to mention each of these and use evidence to explain why they’re incorrect/weak arguments. That’ll make your essay much more effective than if you only focused on your side of the argument.

#3: Use Evidence to Support Your Side

Remember, an essay can’t be an argumentative essay if it doesn’t support its argument with evidence. For every point you make, make sure you have facts to back it up. Some examples are previous studies done on the topic, surveys of large groups of people, data points, etc. There should be lots of numbers in your argumentative essay that support your side of the argument. This will make your essay much stronger compared to only relying on your own opinions to support your argument.

Summary: Argumentative Essay Sample

Argumentative essays are persuasive essays that use facts and evidence to support their side of the argument. Most argumentative essays follow either the Toulmin model or the Rogerian model. By reading good argumentative essay examples, you can learn how to develop your essay and provide enough support to make readers agree with your opinion. When writing your essay, remember to always make your thesis clear, show where the other side is weak, and back up your opinion with data and evidence.

What's Next?

Do you need to write an argumentative essay as well? Check out our guide on the best argumentative essay topics for ideas!

You'll probably also need to write research papers for school. We've got you covered with 113 potential topics for research papers.

Your college admissions essay may end up being one of the most important essays you write. Follow our step-by-step guide on writing a personal statement to have an essay that'll impress colleges.

Christine graduated from Michigan State University with degrees in Environmental Biology and Geography and received her Master's from Duke University. In high school she scored in the 99th percentile on the SAT and was named a National Merit Finalist. She has taught English and biology in several countries.

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 20 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

20 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant

Key Takeaway

Have you ever wondered what goes through an admissions officer’s mind as they read college essays?

Now’s your chance.

This post takes you behind that dark, mysterious admissions curtain to show you what exceptional, good, and “bad” college essays look like. And we don’t just show them to you.

We’ve asked our team of former admissions officers to read through the essays, analyze them, offer editing ideas, and assign them grades.

So join us on this college essay example journey so you know what to do (and what not to do) as you write all your college essays this fall.

Let’s get started.

How to Use College Essay Examples

Here’s the thing. People in college admissions have lots of different opinions about whether students should read example essays. But we believe that reading example essays is a crucial step in the college essay writing process.

If you don’t know what a college essay looks like, then how should you expect yourself to write one?

So reading examples is important.

However! There’s a caveat. The point of reading college essay examples isn’t to copy them or even to get inspiration from them. It’s to analyze them and apply what you’ve learned to your own college essay.

To help you do that, our team of former admissions officers has taken this super-comprehensive compilation of college essay examples and pointed out exactly what you need to know before you start writing.

Let me break down how this post works:

Categories:

We’ve put together a great variety of college essay examples and sorted them into three categories, including…

• Best college essay examples: these examples are the creme-de-la-creme. They’re written by a small percentage of students who are exceptional writers.
• Good college essay examples: these examples are solid. They do exactly what they need to do on the admissions committee floor. You’re aiming to write a good college essay.
• “Bad” college essay examples: these examples illustrate a few of the most common college essay mistakes we see.

Our former admissions officers have assigned each essay a letter grade to help you understand where it falls on the scale of “bad” college essays to exceptional college essays.

Alongside our categorization and grades, our former admissions officers have also annotated the essays and provided concrete feedback about what works and what could be improved.

The majority of essays you’ll see here are written in response to the Common Application personal statement prompts. We’ve also included a few stellar supplemental essays at the end of the post.

How an Admissions Officer Reads College Essays

All admissions officers are different. And all institutions ask their admissions officers to read in different ways.

But there are a few strategies that shape how the majority of admissions officers read college essays. (If you want a look behind the mysterious admissions curtain, read our post about how admissions offices read tens of thousands of applications every year .)

First, we need to talk about application reading as a whole.

Remember that admissions officers are reading your college essays in the context of your entire application. It’s likely that by the time they get to your essay, they’ve already glanced at your background information, activities , and transcript . They may have even looked at your letters of recommendation or additional information.

Why is this detail important? It matters because your college essays need to be in conversation with the rest of your application. We refer to this strategy as adopting a “ cohesive application narrative .” Your unique personal brand—who you are, what you’re good at, what you value—should emerge across all of your application materials.

To summarize: your college essays don’t exist in a vacuum. Your admissions officers learn about who you are from your entire application, and your college essays are the place where you get to tell them exactly what you want them to know. You should write them in a way that creates balance among the other parts of your application.

So once your admissions officers get to your college essays, what are they looking for?

They’re looking for several things. Each of your essays doesn’t have to address all of these points, but they are a great place to start:

• Personal narrative that explains who you are and where you come from
• Details about specific activities, accomplishments, or inclinations
• Personality traits that make you who you are
• Lessons you’ve learned throughout your life
• Values that you hold dear
• Information about how you interact with the world around you
• Highlights about what makes you special, strong, interesting, or unique

What do all of these points have in common? They revolve around your core strengths . We’ve written more extensively about core strengths in our college essay writing guide . But for now, just know this: your college essays should tell admissions officers something positive about yourself. They want to know who you are, what motivates you, and why you would be an active contributor to their campus.

As we go through the following example essays, remember: college essays are read alongside the rest of your application, and college admissions officers read your essays to learn about your core strengths.

Okay, let’s get to it. Ready? Buckle up.

The Best College Essay Examples

As an admissions officer, every so often you come across an essay that blows you away. It stops you in your tracks, makes you laugh or cry, or resonates deeply with you. When exceptional essays come through your application bin, you’re reminded what an honor it is to get these fleeting glimpses into incredible students’ lives.

As an applicant, you may be wondering how to write this kind of exceptional college essay. Unfortunately, there’s no simple formula. You can’t “hack” your way into it. You have to write vulnerable, authentically, and beautifully—which is much easier said than done. We have a whole guide on how to write a personal statement that stands out, so we recommend that you start there.

For now, let’s take a look at some of our favorites.

College Essay Example #1: The Gospel of Steve

The first college essay we'll look at got an A+ grade and is about the writer's experience with depression and... Steve Irwin. It's a common application essay. Check it out:

" In sophomore year, I struggled with depression((While this is a fantastic essay, this hook could definitely be stronger.)) . I felt like I was constantly battling against the darkness that seemed to be closing in on me. Until, that is, I found solace in the teachings of Steve Irwin.((This unusual last sentence drew me in when I read this for the first time.))

When I first discovered Steve Irwin and his show "The Crocodile Hunter," I was captivated by his passion for wildlife. He was fearless, jumping into danger without hesitation to save an animal in need. But it was more than just his bravery that inspired me; it was his infectious energy and love for life. Watching him on TV, I couldn't help but feel a little bit better about my own struggles.((This explicit reflection does a fantastic job connecting the writer’s experiences to this Steve Irwin reference.))

But it wasn't until I read his biography that I truly felt the impact Steve had on my life. In the book, he talked openly about his own struggles with depression. He talked about the dark moments in his life, when he felt like he was drowning in despair. But he also talked about how he fought back against the darkness, how he refused to let it consume him, and how he turned his depression into a career that allowed him to follow his biggest passions.

Reading Steve's words, I felt like he was speaking directly to me.((Another beautiful transition)) I wasn't alone in my struggles if someone as brave and fearless as Steve had faced similar challenges. And that gave me the courage to keep going. I started visiting a therapist, exercising regularly, and practicing mindfulness meditation. Day by day, I lifted myself out of my depression–all with a healthy dose of “Crocodile Hunter” each evening after I finished my homework((The writer does a great job focusing on action steps here.)) .

One of the things that I admired most about Steve was his ability to find joy and laughter in the most unlikely places. He was always cracking jokes, even in the face of danger. He taught me that laughter and humor can be a powerful tool in the fight against depression. I went looking for the humor in my own struggles. I started learning about how stand-up comedy works, and wrote my own five-minute skit finding the humor and silver lining((The writer expands their connection to Steve Irwin even more through this comedy thread.)) in my depression. I wasn’t a great comic, let me tell you. But being able to channel my experience into something positive—something that helped others laugh—was extremely gratifying to me.

Depression((The reflection in this paragraph is exactly what writers need to tie all the information together before reaching the conclusion.)) is a bizarre thing. One day, you’re besieged by it from every side and it looks like there’s no way out. Then, two months later, if you’re diligent, you look around the world and wonder what you ever had to be upset about. You find goodness and light in the things around you—your friends, your family, your habits, and your hobbies. These forces act as buttresses to keep you standing up and moving forward.

As silly as it may sound, I credit Steve Irwin with that first buttress. His experience and outlook on life gave me the push I needed to cultivate bravery and resilience in the face of my struggle with mental health. My eternal goal is now to practice the gospel of Steve—to always pass along humor, passion, and encouragement to others, especially to those who seem down and out. Thank you, Steve."

Word Count: 525

Admissions Officer Notes on The Gospel of Steve

This essay captured my attention because of its unique pairing of a tough subject—depression—with a light-hearted and endearing topic—Steve Irwin.

The writer doesn’t dwell in the experience of depression but instead finds hope and light by focusing on how their favorite TV star changed their perspective. Why this essay stands out:

• Great organization and sign-posting . The essay clearly progresses through each part of the writer’s journey. The first sentence of each paragraph signals to the reader what that paragraph will be about.
• Focus on action steps. It’s very apparent that this writer is a do-er. The focus of the essay is on the way they emerged from their depression, not on the depression itself.
• Meaningful reflection. Especially in the second-to-last paragraph and conclusion, the writer beautifully reflects on what depression and hope mean to them.
• Core strengths. From this essay alone, I gather that the writer is a sage archetype . They clearly show their wisdom and ability to persist through challenges.

Most importantly, they’ve written the essay around communicating their core strengths.

College Essay Example #2: The Embroidery Scientist

This essay is about a writer's Etsy store and the connection she draws between fashion and science.

I stretch the thin fabric over my hoop and pull it tight, wedging the nested rings between my legs to secure them shut with my other hand((This hook is compelling. It makes us ask, “What in the world is the writer doing?” We are compelled to read on to find out.)) .

Next I get out the thread. Each color is wound tightly around a paper spool and stored in a container whose original purpose was to store fishing tackle.

I look at the pre-printed design on the fabric and decide what colors to select. Orange, red, pink, yellow–this design will be as bright and happy as I can make it.

Embroidery is where the STEM and creative parts of my identity converge((Here we get a clear, explicit statement of the writer’s main point. This isn’t always necessary, but it can help your reader navigate your essay more easily if you have a lot going on.)) . My STEM side is calculated. She meticulously plans the designs, mocks them up in photoshop, and painstakingly transfers them onto the fabric. She organizes each thread color by its place in ROYGBIV and cuts every piece to an identical length of 18”. Her favorite stitch is the French Knot, with its methodical “one, two” wrap sequence. For her, art is about precision.

My creative side, on the other hand, is messy. She throws thread scraps on the floor without hesitation, and she haphazardly adds design elements in pen. She does a Lazy Daisy stitch very lazily while adding an indescribable flourish to a simple backstitch. Her methods are indeed madness: she’ll border a design with glitter glue, hang a finished project upside down, or stitch a big red X over a perfectly good embroidery. For her, art is about meaning.

While these two sides of myself may seem at odds((Seamless transition to talking about Etsy accomplishment)) , they actually complement each other perfectly. At least, that’s what 3,000 of my Etsy customers think. From three-inch hoops to massive wall hangings, my Etsy shop is a compilation of the best embroidery I’ve ever done. My precision and meaning have earned me hundreds of five-star reviews from customers whose lives I’ve impacted with my art. And none of that art would have been possible without STEM me and creative me.

My STEM and creative side complement each other in more than my embroidery life too. What began as a creative side hustle has actually made me a better scientist((Another good transition to discussing passion and talent for science)) .

Before I started embroidering, I approached the lab bench with an eye like a ruler. Poured a millimeter too much liquid? Better get a pipette. Went a degree over boiling? Time to start over. My lab reports demonstrated my knowledge, skill, and care, but they didn’t show any innovation or ingenuity. My precision led me to be a good scientist but not an exceptional one.

I realized that to be exceptional, I needed to think like a real scientist. While scientists are careful and precise, they are also interrogators. They constantly question the world around them, identifying previously unseen problems and finding creative solutions. To become the scientist I wanted to be, I needed to allow myself to be more creative((This is a good example of what reflection throughout the essay should look like.)) .

When I had this realization, I had just begun my embroidery business. I didn’t understand that my creativity could also be so useful in the lab. I set out on a new path to use more creativity in the pursuit of science.

To inspire myself, I brought an embroidery project to the lab. On it, I stitched a compound microscope and a quote from one of my favorite scientists, Marie Curie. It reads, “ I am among those who think that science has great beauty.”

In the lab now, I’m not afraid to take risks and try new things((Here we see clear personal growth.)) . When I boil my mixture too long, I still start over. But occasionally, when my teacher permits, I do a second experiment on the rejected liquid just to see what will happen. Sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes it results in utter failure. But other times, my mistakes create blue, green, and purple mixtures, mixtures that bubble and burst and fizz. All of these experiments are stitches in my quest to become a cancer researcher. They are messy, but they are beautiful((The conclusion ties beautifully back to the beginning, and we also learn what the writer is interested in pursuing in the future.)) .

Admissions Officer Notes on "Embroidery Scientist"

This writer has done an excellent job talking about two very different aspects of their identity. What I love about this essay is that the structure of the essay itself shows the writer’s creativity and precision. The essay is well-organized and precise, but the writing has a unique and creative flair. It demonstrates the writer’s point exactly. I also appreciate how the writer doesn’t just talk about these parts of their identity. They explicitly connect their creativity and precision to their future goals as a scientist.

Why this essay stands out:

• Creative approach: The writer doesn’t just say, “I have two identities: creative and logical.” Instead, they illustrate that point through the wonderful example of embroidery. Connecting embroidery with science also shows this creativity.
• Attention-grabbing hook : The introductory paragraphs place readers immediately into the essay. We’re drawn in because we’re curious what the writer is doing and how it will evolve into a more meaningful message.
• Connection between personal and academic interests: The writer makes it clear why this story matters for their life in college. The creative and precise personalities aren’t inconsequential—they have a real effect on who this person wants to be.
• Forward-looking conclusion: The writer ends by subtly telling admissions officers what they’re interested in doing during and after college.

College Essay Example #4: Poetry Slam

When I first met Simon, he was neither speaking nor singing. He was doing something in between(( This hook is a good “statement” hook that raises more questions than it answers.)) . With words that flowed together like an ancient tributary, he spoke music. His hands grasping a microphone, he swayed slowly from side to side. He was a poet. But unlike that of Yeats or Dickenson, Simon’s poetry wasn’t meant to be read on a page—it was meant to be experienced like an aural work of art. And I had never experienced anything more beautiful. Disheartened, I realized that my words would never sound like Simon’s(( These two sentences are essential because otherwise the introduction would be all about Simon, not the writer.)) .

I sat in my on-deck seat. Forgetting that I was up next, I admired his craft. The crescendos and decrescendos that mirrored his pacing, the quick staccatos that punctuated each stanza, the rhymes so subtle they almost disappeared—every second of his spoken word pulled me further from reality. I listened to his words like a devout in church(( This is good sentence pacing. A long, winding sentence is followed by a short one that keeps our attention and propels us forward.)) . Closing my eyes, I joined my hands together to count the syllables. From the outside, it probably looked like I was praying. And maybe I was. When Simon’s poem ended, the audience, though betrayed by the silence, erupted into applause.

It was my turn. I had spent an entire year perfecting my poem. My sister had grown accustomed to kicking me under the dinner table when someone asked me a question. She knew that my mind was in my beloved poetry notebook, mentally analyzing my latest draft. I’ve never been one for living in the moment. My report cards usually feature comments like, “She’s a good student but has trouble paying attention.” I’m always the first one out in dodgeball because my mind is completely absent from the school gym. But what seems like inattention to my teachers is actually a kind of profound focus(( This reflection widens the essay’s scope and reveals more about who the writer is as a person.)) .

When writing slam poetry, I become completely consumed. I like to start with the words. The rhythm and intonation come with time. For me, it’s about translating a feeling into language. It’s no easy task, but it feels like an obligation. Once the words come into being, they’re like a twister in my mind(( Good (and sparing) use of figurative language.)) . They spin and spin, destroying every other thought in their path. I can’t focus on anything else because, in the aftermath of a twister, nothing else exists.

And there on the stage, nothing else existed besides me and my poem. I spoke it into existence. Like Simon, I wrapped my hands around the microphone, willing my poem to be heard. The twister exited my mind and entered the world.

A few weeks ago(( Excellent signposting)) , I watched the recording of my first poetry slam, that slam two years ago when I saw Simon perform for the first time. I saw myself climb on stage from the dark abyss of the audience. I looked small, all alone on that big stage. My voice shook as I began. But soon, my poem rendered the stage smaller and smaller. I filled the darkness with words.

As I watched myself on my computer, I thought about how I felt that day, awe-struck in the audience by Simon’s work. I felt like I’d never be able to sound like him. And I was right. My poem didn’t sound like Simon’s, and none of my poems ever would. But in this moment, I realized that they were just as beautiful. My words sounded like me(( Beautiful conclusion that really drives home just how much this person has grown. They don’t need to sound like Simon. They need to sound like themself.)) .

Word Count: 552

Admissions Officer Notes on Poetry Slam

We would call this essay a “sacred practice” essay. It’s clear that slam poetry is deeply meaningful to the writer. They even call it “an obligation.” It’s a beautiful essay that also reflects the writer’s interest in poetry. They have some nice figurative language that adds interest to the story—it’s almost like the essay is in some ways a poem itself. And the story is a good one: it demonstrates the writer’s fears, strengths, and growth.

• Deeply meaningful: We say it all the time because it’s true: college essays should be vulnerable and deeply meaningful. This essay oozes meaning. The writer even connects their love of slam poetry to who they are as a person.
• Good organization and signposting: The narrative in this essay is a little complicated as the writer switches between the slam poetry event, reflection on past events, and reflection during current day. But because each paragraph is about a single topic, and because they use very clear topic sentences and transitions, it’s easy to follow the narrative thread.
• Theme: The main theme in this essay is that the writer found their own voice through slam poetry. They had to experience growth to come to this realization. The very last sentence of the essay wonderfully ties back to the introduction and wraps up the entire essay.

College Essay Example #4: The Muscle Show

My parents are the scrapbooking type(( I’m intrigued by this hook! It makes me ask, “Where is this essay going?”)) . The crafty, crazy-cut scissors and construction paper, okay-everyone-make-a-silly-face-for-this-picture type.

Every summer, my entire family rents a small house in Wildwood, New Jersey for a week to catch up and enjoy the beach and good company. My favorite part is spending time with my cousin Steven, who is one year older than me. To us, there is nothing better than two pockets full of quarters, strolling down the boardwalk headed to an arcade, licking an ice cream cone, and laughing at all the novelty t-shirts for sale(( This sentence beautifully gives us a sense of place. It evokes a sense of nostalgia, too.)) .

We have a “down the shore” scrapbook proudly displayed on our coffee table that holds memories from each of our family vacations. The scrapbook(( Ah-ha. A quick answer to our scrapbooking question.)) is such a fixture in our house that it blends in with its surroundings and I fully forgot it existed until this past March. I happened to pick it up and look at pictures from the first year we went. I was four, Steven was five, and there we were, shirtless in the living room, proudly displaying our kid “muscles” in front of a handmade sign that said “WELCOME 2 THE MUSLE SHOW”.

I cried when I saw it.

No, not because we spelled muscle wrong. The four-year-old in that picture had such a small and fragile frame. I was the kind of child who almost looked like they had six-pack abs because they are so slim. There was so much naivety in that picture that no longer exists(( With this sentence, our writer begins to embark on their journey.)) .

I started gaining weight–a lot of weight–around the fifth grade. My parents are wonderful role models in the way they treat others, but they aren’t exactly paragons of healthy eating. Looking through the scrapbook, none of the adults in my family were particularly healthy. I distinctly remember my dad saying to me sometime in elementary school, “what do these people go to the gym for, anyway? What are you going to do with all those muscles?” I spent elementary and middle school on a steady diet of McDonald’s, Doritos, and video games.

I hit 200 pounds at age 14. One day in my least favorite class, PE, we had to do a push-up competition. Not only could I not do one, I was out of breath just getting up and down from the floor. Something had to change(( And here is our inciting incident in this narrative arc)) .

I turned to one thing I was good at to figure out a solution: reading. I read books like “Why We Get Fat” by Gary Taubes and started to learn the science behind calories, carbs, insulin, and soon, exercise. Even though neither of my parents had ever been inside a gym, I convinced them to buy me some training sessions and a membership that Christmas.

It’s remarkable what happens when you suddenly stop consuming fried chicken and soda, go for a daily 20-minute power walk, and exercise a few times a week. Progress in losing weight actually came sooner than I expected. By sophomore year, I was lifting weights four times a week after school and felt more comfortable in the gym than anywhere else.

I also noticed my attitude towards schoolwork was changing(( This is a good transition to widen the scope of the essay and talk about the broader implications of this journey on the writer’s life.)) . I felt like I had control in my life for the first time. I had spent countless hours trying to “level up” fake characters in video games (OK, I still do that…). But leveling up myself–my own body and mind–was life changing. So much in life is out of our control, but realizing that, at least to an extent, my own health is within my control brought a new sense of purpose, responsibility, and pride.

Today, I’m at a healthy weight, my grades have improved, and I have even taken several of my friends to the gym for their first time. I look forward to continuing my healthy trend in college and beyond.

I’ll see Steven again at this summer’s beach trip. We have decided to recreate the “musle show” picture–this time with better spelling and in better health(( This short conclusion wraps everything up and has a great callback to the beginning of the essay.)) .

Admissions Officer Notes on The Muscle Show

What I like about this essay is how it weaves together multiple parts of this writer’s life. We get their family background, their sense of self, and their values, interests, and goals. The writer takes us on a journey with them. We see their determination in finding solutions to the problems they’re facing, and we also clearly see their personality and voice.

• Upward-trending growth structure : This writer nails this essay structure. We clearly see that they begin at a “point A” where things aren’t so great, and they steadily make their way to “point B.” By the end, we truly get a sense of how they’ve grown through the journey.
• Connections: This essay isn’t just about the writer’s health journey. It’s also about their “sense of purpose, responsibility, and pride.” Their changes expanded to even more parts of their life, and we can see that they are a person who takes initiative and gets creative with solutions.
• Conclusion: I especially love the way this conclusion brings everything full-circle. The “musle show” reference at the end ties the journey nicely together with a bow and ends with a sense of forward movement.

College Essay Example #5: The Stop Sign

While some high schoolers get in trouble for skipping class, I get in trouble for arguing with my local government officials on Twitter. But when lives are at stake, I can take the heat(( Very catchy, humorous, and personality-filled hook)) .

I live at the intersection of 33rd and Spruce. The intersection itself sits between a large bend and a bundle of white oak trees—a recipe for obstructed views. Drivers careen around the corner, Indy 500-style, and are abruptly met with oncoming traffic. Neither can see the other through the oaks. What is otherwise a beautiful intersection makes for awfully dangerous driving conditions.

Living by this intersection my whole life, I’ve heard countless crashes and collisions. The screeching tires and cacophony of crushing car parts is seared in my mind. As neighbors, we are often the first on the scene. Cell phone in hand, I’ve run out to help several motorists who didn’t know what was coming. After the most recent crash, where a car flipped into the ditch, I knew that something had to change(( The writer has set the scene with a vivid description, and these sentences draw our attention to what’s at stake. They need a stop sign, and it’s clear that the writer is on a mission to get one.)) . We needed a stop sign.

I began with a google search, which led me to my local Stop Sign Request Form. According to the form, a government official would reach out to me. If they deemed it appropriate, we’d work together to assess whether the intersection qualified for a stop sign.

Their response took months. While I waited, I began collecting evidence on my own(( The writer’s initiative shines through.)) . After noticing that the security camera on my house pointed toward the intersection, I decided to put the skills I’d been developing in AP Computer Science to work. I wrote a simple code that tabulated the number of cars that passed through the intersection each day(( Here we see the technical skills the writer is developing.)) . Briefly reviewing the footage each night also helped me determine how many cars were likely going over the posted speed limit of forty miles per hour. Alongside these statistics, I went back into our cloud history to find footage of the crashes that had occurred.

When I finally heard back from the city, I was ready to make my case. My confidence deflated as soon as I opened the email(( Oh no! There’s a roadblock. Things aren’t progressing as the writer hoped.)) : Thank you for filling out a Stop Sign Request Form , the email read. At this time, we do not have reason to believe that the intersection of 33rd Street and Spruce Street meets the criteria for a two-way stop sign. The city had disagreed with my recommendation and denied my request.

I took a moment to collect myself. How could the city not care about the safety of its citizens? Were human lives not worth looking into a simple stop sign? I took to Twitter, posting statistics from my research, photos of the obstructed view, and a security camera compilation of cars speeding by. I tagged my local representatives, and I asked for help(( But the writer doesn’t focus on the problem. They continue to focus on their action steps and solutions. That’s exactly how you talk about a personal challenge in a college essay.)) .

While not all of them were receptive to my post, one particularly helpful representative connected me with my city’s City Engineer. The representative instructed me to send the City Engineer all of the evidence I had collected along with another copy of my Stop Sign Request Form.

The engineer was impressed with the code I wrote and the tracking system I’d put together, and she agreed to meet me at my house to do an inspection of the intersection. I accompanied her on the inspection so I could watch what she did. After working so hard to advocate for my community, it felt good to have my opinions heard.

In the end, I got my stop sign(( The writer emphasizes that it wasn’t just about winning the stop sign debate. It was about the community impact. And what do admissions officers want to see? Yep, community impact.)) . Drivers still occasionally speed, but I was astounded by the outpouring of thanks I received after my neighborhood was alerted of the change. My foray into local government was an eventful but rewarding one. And even though I’ve secured my stop sign, I’ll still be doing stop sign research this summer— this time as an intern at the City Engineer’s office(( And the writer pops in this awesome opportunity they’ve earned as a result. As an AO, I would see that they are continuing to prepare for college as their high school career is coming to a close.)) .

Word Count: 641

Admissions Officer Notes on The Stop Sign

This essay combines a story of personal strengths with an impactful accomplishment. It’s not necessary to write about one of your accomplishments in your college essays, but if that’s the route you want to go down, then this approach is a good one. Notice how it focuses on concrete action steps, emphasizes the skills the writer learned and used, and highlights how their actions impacted their community. A stop sign may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but the writer shows just how important this effort was.

• Community impact: The accomplishment this writer chose to write about is an impressive one. Admissions officers are always looking at how applicants interact with their communities , so this story showcases the writer’s willingness to help and engage with those around them.
• Strengths: Above all, we see that the writer is solutions-oriented. They are a “founder” or “builder” archetype and aren’t afraid to tackle hard problems. The writer also explicitly shows how they solved the problem using impressive skills.
• Narrative momentum : This essay is easy to read because we’re always wondering what’s going to happen next. The hook is very catchy, the ups and downs of the writer’s struggle to solve this problem are clear, and the conclusion points to the overall significance of the story and looks toward its future impact.

College Essay Example #6: Fran’s Flower Farm

Surrounded(( The hook is interesting and vivid.)) by carnations, dahlias, and marigolds, I laid down on the hard dirt, sweating from the midday sun. While my garden was a labor of love, it was still a labor. I’d spent months during the beginning of the pandemic researching how to set up beds correctly, choose seeds and fertilizers, and run a small business(( We get plopped right into the story without wasting any time.)) . A year later, this summer would be the second harvest of Fran’s Flower Farm.

As I prepared the yield for my small table at that week’s farmers market, I reflected on how far I had come(( This transitional phrase is a quick and convenient way to incorporate reflection.)) . Prior to the pandemic, I had never even dug in the dirt. I didn’t know anything about seed germination or nitrogen levels. I had my own Instagram, but I had never had to market anything or think about overhead costs. I was a total and complete newb.

But my life, like everyone’s, changed in spring of 2020. Lockdown rendered me depressed and hopeless until one day when my mom ordered me a bouquet of flowers along with our grocery delivery. The bouquet was a simple grocery store arrangement of sunflowers. A few petals were wilting at the ends, and the stems were smashed from the flour that had been in the same plastic bag. But they were perfect. Such a small and thoughtful gesture, that bouquet inspired me to get to work(( Nice—here we learn about the “inciting incident” that compelled the writer to get started on their flower farm.)) .

Lucky enough to have space for flower beds, I mapped out four different six-foot beds in my backyard. Garden tools stolen from my mom and borrowed from socially-distanced neighbors in hand, I added compost, arranged my seeds, watered, and mulched. I laid protective plastic over my beds, tucking them in like a child, and wrapped the garden in decade-old chickenwire I found in our barn. My garden was imperfect–compost trailed between beds, my hose wrapped around my shovel in a heap on the ground, and the chickenwire was dented and rusty. But it was all mine, and it was alive(( I like this paragraph because we really see the writer’s personality. They are determined, innovative, and grateful.)) .

As the pandemic waged on, I tended to my flowers. Each morning, I’d peek under the plastic to see how they had fared throughout the night. They gave me routine and purpose when the days seemed droning and neverending. The longer I kept them alive, the more their sprouts brought me life, too(( This is a very nice and poetic point.)) . In a world that seemed to come to a halt, my flowers showed me that growth wasn’t just possible–it was happening right in front of me.

The business side came soon after(( The transition here could be a touch smoother.)) . Later that summer, once my first crop had bloomed, I set up a roadside stand outside of my house. At that point, I had to put my flower buckets across the driveway from my stand to keep everyone safe. But my flowers brightened the days of hundreds of passing motorists. With growing confidence, I secured a spot at the farmer’s market by July, my business boomed(( I’d like to see some specific details here about how well the business was doing.)) . Returning all profits to my garden, I’ve expanded my operations to include two more flower beds this year.

I’m proud of how far my gardening and business skills have come, but what has been most fulfilling about Fran’s Flower Farm have been the connections I’ve made. The pandemic was difficult for everyone, but it was especially difficult for healthcare workers. As the child of a healthcare worker myself, these challenges have been close to home. Knowing how greatly that bouquet of sunflowers affected me, I make sure to donate flowers(( And this sweet gesture shows another one of the writer’s strengths.)) to my local hospital in thanks every week.

Three years ago, I would never have guessed that I’d own my own flower farm. It’s brought me so many joys, challenges, and friends. I know I won’t be able to bring my flower farm with me to college. But the heart of the farm is more than the flowers(( Here, the writer wraps up the main theme of the essay and makes sure the reader really understands the point.)) . It’s about me learning and using my skills to help others. Wherever I’m planted, I know that I will bloom(( This phrasing is cliche. The writer could re-write the idea in their own words.)) .

Word Count: 643

AO Notes on Fran’s Flower Farm Grade: A

I don’t know about you, but I’d love to buy a bouquet of flowers from this student! While the ending is a bit cliche, we really see how far this student has come in their journey as a farmer and a business person. We also see the magnitude of their impact. They not only grew a successful small business, but they also gave back to the healthcare workers in their community. The student is definitely one I could see thriving in a campus community.

• Topic and accomplishments : Like The Stop Sign, this essay conveys an impressive accomplishment. But the essay isn’t bragging about it or overstating its significance. It works well because the writer tells a genuine story about a passion they developed.
• Variety: The writer also manages to show us two distinct strengths in one essay. We see their strength as a DIY farmer and as a business person. They are clearly a founder archetype.
• Organization and style: The essay opens with a beautiful description, and we get a lot of good language throughout. The writer is able to go through a fairly complicated timeline in a concise and digestible way.

Good College Essay Examples

Not every student can write an exceptional college essay. And that’s okay. Sometimes it’s not one of your priorities or in your particular skill set.

Thankfully, college essays don’t have to be exceptional to earn admission. They can simply be good. You can still write a solid college essay that does everything you need it to do.

So what’s the difference between the best college essays and good college essays? Usually it’s writing style. Some writers have a gift for writing or have spent years practicing their craft, and those are usually the writers who produce essays that make admissions officers gasp.

But admissions officers recognize good, solid writing and storytelling, too.

So writing a good college essay should always be your main goal. Focus on the basics first before trying to level up to an exceptional essay.

College Essay Example #7: My Emotional Support Water Bottle

I had a stuffed animal named Elephant when I was a child(( This hook makes a statement that compels me to read on so I can figure out what they’re referring to.)) . I’ve long since outgrown Elephant, but now I have a new object that I keep around for comfort: my emotional support water bottle. A gray thirty-two-ounce wide-mouth Hydroflask, my emotional support water bottle accompanies me everywhere.

The water bottle was a gift last Christmas after I begged my mom for one. The brand had become extremely popular at my school, and I wanted in on the trend. When I opened the package that Christmas morning, I was elated. I felt an immediate attachment, and I was proud that I could finally fit in with the other kids at my school(( Here we learn about the connection between the waterbottle and the writer’s values)) .

I had always felt like an outsider(( In this paragraph, the writer zooms the focus out to their life in general. We need this reflection to understand why the topic matters so much to the writer.)) . Other students seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces. But as much as I tried, I couldn’t find a picture that matched my piece. I envied the tight-knit friendships I saw among my peers.

As soon as I unwrapped my water bottle, I decided that I needed stickers to match. The kids at my school always had stickers on theirs. I found the perfect pack. It had animated depictions of every famous literary character imaginable. Jane Austen characters, Jay Gatsby, Sherlock Holmes, Guy Montag, Jane Eyre, and more. I couldn’t believe my luck.

No matter how disconnected I felt from my classmates, I could always find a community on my bookshelf(( The writer introduces another topic, literature, that tells us more about who they are.)) . I sat in the courtroom with Atticus Finch, walked through the streets of Saint Petersburg with Raskolnikov, and watched the revolution unfold alongside Satrapi. My literary friends kept me optimistic through difficult times, and I was glad to see them every day on my beloved Hydroflask.

After winter break ended, I couldn’t wait to debut my new accessory. I placed it atop my desk in each class, angling my favorite stickers outward in hopes of connection. I was profoundly comforted by its presence—I could always take a sip of water when I felt thirsty or uncomfortable, and its stickers promised to draw people in.

To my dismay(( This paragraph serves an important plot function. We see that everything, in fact, did not work out perfectly. By highlighting this challenge, we really get a sense of the writer’s problem-solving and resilience.)) , weeks went by, and no one noticed my Hydroflask or stickers. The school was filled with dozens more Hydroflasks after the holidays, so mine didn’t seem so special. What had once filled me with so much hope and support transformed into a reminder of an unfulfilled promise of friendship.

I coped with the disappointment by re-reading one of my childhood favorites, Le Petit Prince . Near the end, when the little prince returns to water his flower, I had a realization. I couldn’t wait around for people to come to me(( Ding, ding, ding! Here we have it. The main lesson the writer has learned. What’s great, too, is that they’ve stated it so clearly.)) . I had to bring the water to them.

The next day at school, I held my Hydroflask close and gathered all my courage. I headed into the lunch room and spotted Jordan, one of the people I’d chatted with in class. She was sitting alone at a table, reading a book I couldn’t identify. I asked if I could join her. Nodding, she told me about her book, White Teeth . When I placed my Hydroflask on the lunch table, she noticed my stickers(( This sentence is crucial because it ties all these threads together: the waterbottle, stickers, literature, and friendship/fitting in.)) . Together, we went through every sticker and talked about the character’s book.

Jordan and I spent the next day’s lunch exchanging laughter and book recommendations. She had a water bottle of her own, too. It was a classic Nalgene without a single sticker. As our friendship grew stronger, I brought Jordan the last sticker from my collection(( With this small gesture, we see a) the writer’s kindness and b) the writer’s personal growth.)) , a rainbow bookmark that read, “BOOKWORM.”

I’ve always looked to the world around me for comfort instead of finding courage within myself. Elephant still sits on my shelf, I continue to be an avid reader, and I always carry my Hydroflask around for hydration. But this learning process has taught me the importance of having confidence and finding the ability to reach out to others. I can’t wait to carry this skill with me to college— after I get some more stickers(( The conclusion ties all these threads together beautifully, and this final statement adds some spunk and forward movement.)) .

Word Count: 648

Admissions Officer Notes on My Emotional Support Waterbottle

Ah, the emotional support water bottle. We’ve all had one! This writer does a wonderful job connecting an otherwise simple object to a larger story about an important part of their life. We also learn a lot about the student, their background, their goals, and their interests from this essay. I especially like how the essay shows the writer’s academic passion (literature) without being an explicitly academic-focused essay.

What makes this essay good:

• Storytelling: With their love of reading, it’s no wonder this writer is a good storyteller. As readers, we get a very clear sense of how the events progressed and changed the reader’s perspective.
• Compelling hook: This essay’s introduction is attention-grabbing and quirky. It compels readers to continue on in the essay to find out what, exactly the writer is talking about.
• Clean conclusion: The conclusion is a fantastic example of what college essay conclusions should do. It reflects back on the essay, ties up loose ends, and looks forward to how these lessons will apply to the writer’s future.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Core Strengths: While we learn a lot about the writer from the essay, there could be a stronger sense of core strengths. We see that they are a strong reader, but that strength doesn’t necessarily connect to their overall message. We also see that they are eager to connect and become a good friend with Jordan, but they don’t all connect seamlessly into a specific archetype or two. A good question to ask yourself is: how would the strengths I show in this essay convince an admissions officer that I will be a good addition to their campus?

College Essay Example #8: Party of One

The sun shone through my airplane window, hitting the tray table exactly right to reveal the greasy handprint of a child. Beside me, a woman cleared her throat as she rifled through her purse, and the tween next to her tapped away on an iPad. The knees of the tall man behind me pushed against the back of my chair. Together, we headed to Pennsylvania(( We open with clear scene-setting, and the final sentence jumps right to the point: we’re on a journey to PA.)) .

This wasn’t my first trip to Pennsylvania, and it wouldn’t be my last. But it was my first trip traveling as a party of one. Barely past the unaccompanied minor cutoff, I departed for a month-long and court-ordered trip to my dad’s house. I wasn’t eager to travel alone. I felt afraid, too young to do this by myself. I wanted to go back home. But I decided to embrace the journey as an adventure(( This explicit reflection helps us, the reader, understand what mindset the writer is at at the beginning of this journey.)) .

With the growing whirr of the engines, the plane ascended. All around me, my neighbors breathed sighs of relief when we reached cruising altitude. I tightened my seatbelt across my lap, steadying myself for the five-hour trip, and took in the scene. Always the quiet and careful observer(( And here we really learn about who the writer is)) , a full flight was my Sistine Chapel.

The woman to my right was wearing all black. She extracted her laptop from her bag the moment the flight attendants permitted, and she created a PowerPoint presentation from scratch before the drinks cart had even started down the aisle. She was all business. I imagined that she signed her emails with nothing but her name, that she read Keynes in her free time, and that people listened when she spoke. She was everything I longed to be(( While the majority of this paragraph is about the writer’s seat mate, this final sentence brings the focus back to the writer. We learn that the description, in fact, was about the writer themself—everything they “longed to be.”)) .

Next was the tween, only a few years younger than I was. Clearly afraid of flying, the tween reached across the aisle to a man who was presumably her father. I found it endearing that she reached out in fear. The dad’s reassurance didn’t just comfort the tween. It comforted me. So far from home, his quiet calm reminded me of the parent waiting to pick me up at the other end of this journey. I remembered reaching out for my own father’s hand when we flew to Pennsylvania for the first time(( Here we have more great reflection about the writer’s relationship with their dad. )) . Now, I watched the dad squeeze the tween’s hand. I felt guilty for the frustration I felt about the trip. I was excited to see my dad.

And finally, there was the man behind me. Aside from the brief glimpse I got during boarding, I didn’t know what he looked like. But there were two things I knew to be true. First, he was tall. The longer the flight went on, the more apologetically his knees bumped against my seat. Second, I felt emboldened by his ability to take up space. With each nudge forward, I spread myself a little bigger(( The writer’s encounter with this man nudged their growth forward. At the beginning, they felt small and timid. Now, they’re more able to take up space.)) , daring to exist in a world I normally wanted to hide from.

Four hours into the flight, turbulence hit. The long-legged man yelped as his knee hit the metal of the seat. Bigger now(( And that growth is solidified even more through this brief transition statement.)) , I was able to brace myself against the impact. I looked to the tween, who I expected to be a wreck. Instead, I saw a calm girl handing napkins to her dad, whose drink had spilled in the commotion. Her care for him mirrored the care he had shown for her. The woman next to me, who had seemed so steadfast, gasped when the plane shot downward. Her hand reached for her chest as she caught herself, surprised. I moved my arm from our shared armrest, giving her space(( This last part gives a very subtle look at the writer’s growth, too. We see that the person the writer admired isn’t as strong as she had seemed. In fact, the writer’s growth has enabled them to help the woman in her moment of weakness.)) . She smiled in appreciation.

After the turbulence had ended, I looked at myself. My hands were folded neatly in my lap. I realized that although I was flying solo, I was surrounded by strangers whose stories intersected with my own(( This point could be more specific.)) . When we landed, I ran into my dad’s arms. “ You’ve grown ,” he smiled.

Admissions Officer Notes on Party of One

This essay is an endearing story about the writer’s first solo plane ride. The narrative is what we would characterize as a “going on a journey” essay—both literally and figuratively. As the writer makes this cross-country trip, they also go through a long personal journey. I especially like the tie between the introduction and conclusion. Along the way, we also learn about the writer through their observations of the other people on the flight.

• Introduction: The first two paragraphs draw the reader in, descriptively set the scene, and establish what is at stake for the writer. We are dropped right into the journey alongside them.
• Vivid language: Throughout the essay, the writer uses interesting and vivid language that helps draw the reader in. The details aren’t overwhelming but add depth to the narrative.
• Reflection throughout: One of the most challenging parts of writing this kind of essay is figuring out how to incorporate your reflection throughout. Many writers mistakenly save it all to the end. But this writer does it the right way by adding reflection at each stop along their journey.

Focus on the self: As-is, this essay tells us a lot about the writer. But it’s nearing on committing one of the biggest college essay writing faux pas: focusing on people other than yourself. I think the writer is getting close to that line but doesn’t yet cross it because of the reflection throughout. But to make the essay even better, the writer could still draw more focus to their own experiences.

College Essay Example #9: My Greatest Talent

I’m a klutz(( Quirky but not too out-there hook that has a lot of personality)) —that’s it, that’s my greatest talent. I’ve honed my clumsiness to perfection, putting in more than my 10,000 hours over the last… 17 years of my life.

When I was six or seven, I was always the one tripping over my own feet, knocking things over. (“This is why we can’t have nice things!” my mom used to scream, half in jest and half in exasperation.) My parents used to joke that I was the only person who could trip on a flat surface. But unfortunately for me, despite doing my due diligence into flat-earth theory(( Here’s more humor that adds some interest and voice to the essay.)) , I found that there was a prevailingly devilish curve to everything around me. If it had a lip, an edge, or a slick spot, I found it.

As I got older(( Excellent signposting to guide the reader through the narrative)) , my talent for being a klutz grew. I managed to trip over my own backpack on a daily basis, and I once fell down a flight of stairs while holding a tray of cookies (I was trying to be a good hostess, but it didn't end well). My friends and family came to expect it, and after those first few years of irritated glances, they began to meet my clumsiness with a laugh and an extended hand.

Being a klutz isn't all bad(( Here, the writer flips our expectations on their head. We’re about to learn about how being clumsy is, in fact, a talent.)) . In fact, it has some pretty decent perks. For one thing, it’s helped me become more empathetic. I know what it feels like to stumble and fall (and stumble and fall, and stumble and fall, and…), and I’m always ready to offer a kind word and a hug to someone who’s having a tough time. I also have a great sense of humor(( We’ve already seen this strength in action at the beginning of the essay, so it’s another good one to highlight.)) —a defense mechanism thanks to all of the embarrassing moments that I’ve created for myself. And let's not forget the fact that I am never bored. There is always something to trip over or knock over. Neither I nor anyone around me ever lacks for entertainment.

One of the biggest benefits of being a klutz is the unexpected friendships(( Friendship is another good strength. But at this point, the essay is starting to feel somewhat list-like. It may have been better to delve more deeply into fewer strengths rather than try to cover so much at once.)) it has given me. For example(( This is a good concrete anecdote that demonstrates the point, though.)) , I once tripped and fell into a ditch while hiking with a group of near-strangers I had met at a trailhead. Surrounded by brambles and thorns, three of them jumped right down with me to hoist me out. My graceless tumble became an inside joke of the trip and we all ended up becoming good friends. I was still embarrassed, of course, but I’m grateful that my clumsiness opened up a new door for friendship that day.

Being a klutz has also taught me to be patient with myself(( Again, we have another good strength, but it’s a lot to cover in one short essay.)) , and to not take myself too seriously. It has taught me to always be prepared for the unexpected, and to always have a good sense of humor. And most importantly, it has taught me to be kind to others(( And yet another strength! Especially since these are related, combining them in a more substantial way may have been more effective.)) , especially when they are having a tough time.

So, if you are looking for someone who’s a little bit quirky and a lot of fun, I’m your girl. I may not be the most graceful person on the planet, or on your campus, but I am confident, kind, and always up for a good laugh. Anyway, where's the fun in being graceful? Just, please, if you do accept me—I’d really appreciate some foam bumpers on the sharp surfaces in my dorm(( More wonderful personality to wrap things up hete. It's approaching being too informal, though.)) .

Word Count: 548

Admissions Officer Notes on My Greatest Talent

This essay is kind of a goofy one. I’ve included it as an example because I want to show you that it’s okay for your college essay to have some personality! Your college essay doesn’t have to be a big, serious rumination on some deep topic. Especially if you’re a goofy person yourself, it’s completely okay for you to choose a more light-hearted topic that showcases your personality. If you do, just be sure to follow this writer’s lead and still write an essay that showcases your strengths.

• Topic choice and personal voice: When we read this essay, we get a crystal clear picture of who the student is because the topic allows them to really write in their own voice. I feel like I know the student after reading it.
• Strengths: All college essays should communicate a core strength to the reader. This essay does an exceptional job at transforming something most people would consider a weakness—being clumsy—into clear strengths—empathy, humor, friendship, patience. Overall, we see that the writer
• Writing style: The biggest tweak this writer could make would be leveling up the writing style. As it is now, it reads like a five-paragraph essay: first I did this, then this, and then this third thing. Changing up the organization and topic sentences could help the writing come across as more mature.

College Essay Example #10: Counting Cards

I am a psychic who thinks in terms of fours and threes(( This hook raises a lot of questions: What is the writer referring to? It does read, however, as a bit disingenuous and overly quirky.)) . Deal me any hand of Gin, and I can guarantee I’ll have you beat. I stare at the cards in my hand and see numbers moving in my mind. Like a mathemetician at a chalkboard, I plan out my next move. I use logic, memory, and a little bit of luck to guess exactly what your hand looks like. The possible combinations seem endless—four Kings and a run of three, three nines and four Queens, a run of four and three sevens, and many, many more. What I love most about playing Gin is the predictability. While I may not know what’s coming, I can use what I already know to strategize, adapt, and have fun along the way(( Here we have a clear gesture toward the essay’s overall theme.)) .

My Gin career began as a small child. My aunt taught me how to play the game while we were camping. My hands were so small that we had to use a chip clip to keep the cards in place(( These first three sentences are very choppy because they all have the same length and structure.)) . I was at first intimated by the “big kid game,” as I called it then, but soon I couldn’t get enough. I forced my entire family to play, and I even roped in the kids at the campsite next to us. My aunt, a mathematician, is a skilled Gin player. She passed her tips and tricks along to me. After a few years of playing, she was the only opponent I couldn’t beat.

Last summer was the first time it finally happened. I bested her. I had a hand with three Aces and a run of Spades. I needed another Ace or a three or seven of Spades. When I drew that final Ace from the deck, I could hardly believe it. I paused to count my cards again(( This description paints a wonderful picture of the writer, their aunt, and the relationship between them.)) . I drew my hands to my chest, looked up at my aunt slowly and triumphantly, and calmly declared, “Gin.” My aunt squealed and embraced me, proud of all the progress her protegee had made.

This win came from a year of hard work(( This is an effective transition that allows the writer to talk about all the work they put in.)) . I read every book on Gin I could find at the library, watched countless YouTube videos, and became an expert on Gin’s more lively counterpart, Gin Rummy. Learning and practicing drew me into a huge online community of Gin enthusiasts. I never thought that I’d meet some of my best friends through a card game, but I did. Every night, we’d compete against each other. And with each match, my skills would sharpen like a knife on a honing steel. When I finally beat my aunt, I hadn’t just won the game. I’d won lifelong friends and greater reasoning skills(( And here is a bit of reflection sprinkled in at the end. There definitely could be more reflection throughout.)) .

Gin players aren’t internationally recognized for their intellectual prowess like chess or Scrabble. I’ve learned other games and played them successfully, but nothing has come close to the joy and challenge I feel while playing Gin. I love predicting what your opponent holds and what you’ll draw next, betting on your perfect card being in the draw deck, chatting with your opponent as you deal the next round, and earning bragging rights after winning a match—all of it is the perfect mix of strategy and community. When I head off to college in the fall, the first thing I’ll pack will be a deck of cards(( This is a sweet ending that looks forward to the future. The conclusion could have touched more specifically on why all of this is so meaningful to the writer.)) .

Word Count: 549

Admissions Officer Notes on Counting Cards

This essay chronicles a writer’s journey learning how to play the card game Gin. I really like how much the writer and their personality shine through. Like the My Greatest Talent essay, Counting Cards is a great example of how to write a fun, light-hearted essay that still speaks to your strengths.

• Topic: Admissions officers see lots of essays about chess and sports. But it’s pretty rare to see one about Gin. The topic (and enthusiasm with which the student writes about the topic) give this essay a good personal voice.
• Connections: The writer also makes stellar connections between a simple game and the people who are most meaningful to them: their family and friends.
• Strengths: Even with a topic as simple as a card game, the writer manages to highlight their strengths of work ethic and camaraderie.
• Higher stakes: We see that the game of Gin is really important to the writer. We also see how the game is connected to their relationship with their aunt and to the new community they found online. But I’m left wanting a little bit more reflection and vulnerability about why Gin is so meaningful to this writer.

College Essay Example #11: Golden Hills Animal Clinic

On my best days at work, I’m surrounded by puppies, kittens, and rainbows(( This hook is interesting, but it's quite cliche.)) . On my worst, I watch people say tearful goodbyes to their best friends. Working at the front desk of Golden Hills Animal Clinic, I’ve seen it all. I’ve learned a lot about people through their pets. I’ve also learned a lot about myself(( Here, we get straight to the point of what this essay is going to be about.)) .

I began working in the clinic two summers ago. I’m known in my family as the “ Snow White(( What a sweet detail about this writer’s background)) ” because I’ve always had a special connection with animals. I had nearly started a new colony of stray cats in my backyard by the time I was nine. I’ve nursed more sick and injured birds than I can count. I’ve discovered all kinds of insects, snakes, and lizards in my neighborhood. Now, at the front desk, I get to welcome the animals and their humans. I share in their joys and console them at their lows.

After(( This topic sentence does a good job structuring the paragraph, but it could be clearer how this paragraph connects to the overall idea of the essay.)) watching thousands of animals struggle, you think you’d get used to the pain and suffering. But each hurt, injured, or elderly animal I check in stings just the same. When I’m in the back room helping prepare the animals for surgeries or procedures, I look into their eyes and desperately try to communicate that everything will be okay. The worst part is knowing that the animals can tell something is wrong but don’t understand what is happening. And when their owners walk past my front desk, I reassure them that we’re treating their pets as our own.

But with life’s hard moments also come the happiest ones. It’s easy to become dejected by the sad times, but working at the clinic has actually given me more hope(( Ah-ha! We learn that even though the writer witnesses a lot of sadness at the clinic, the experience has actually given them more hope.)) . There’s nothing like seeing small puppies, feet too big for their bodies, prance through the waiting room. I’ve witnessed children comfort cats through holes in carriers, and I’ve become inspired by the assertiveness with which our veterinarians make critical decisions to help animals. Through all this, I’ve learned that those little pockets of happiness, care, and determination are what make life worth living(( This sentence helps ground the reader in the writer’s theme.)) .

I’ve also learned that veterinary medicine is as much about the people as it is the pets. Sometimes owners have to be convinced about the best care plan for their pets. Sometimes others aren’t able to afford the care they desperately want to get. People come in worried about nothing or not worried enough. Part of managing the front desk is having the ability to read where a person is coming from the moment they start speaking. Seeing things from customers’ perspectives helps me provide better customer service to the people and the pets. If I sense that a customer is worried about cost, I can talk to them about payment plans. If someone seems overwhelmed by the options, I ask if they’d like to speak with the vet again. In all these cases, I feel proud to provide as much help as I can. Doing so makes sure that our animals receive the best care possible(( We get a good sense of the writer’s strengths in this paragraph, but by the end, it still doesn’t really connect back to the theme.)) .

Now, as an aspiring veterinarian myself(( And with this small note, we learn all that’s at stake: the writer wants to be a vet in the future, so all of these experiences are important preparation .)) , I know that the rest of my career will be filled with the happiest and saddest moments of people’s lives. My care for animals will turn tragedies into miracles. I’ll console owners of sick pets, and I’ll help bring new life into the world. Veterinary medicine is a lot like life in general. You can’t have the good without the bad. But I’ve never met a pet owner who wouldn’t trade the pain of animal loss for even one fleeting, happy moment with their furry friend. Animals make the world a better place. Like Snow White(( Clever call back to tie the essay together)) , I’ll continue listening to animals so I can make their world a little better too.

Word Count: 615

Admissions Officer Notes on Golden Hills Animal Clinic

This essay tells a good story about this writer’s time working at an animal clinic. What I like about this essay is that the writer doesn’t sugar coat things, but they also don’t dwell on the sadness that passes through the clinic. They are real about their experiences, and they draw valuable lessons from them. They also show the importance of this story by connecting it to their future goals.

• Strengths: We clearly see the strengths this writer brings to the clinic. They are understanding, patient, and positive. We also clearly see how these strengths will help the writer be a good veterinarian in the future.
• Topic sentences and transitions: Although the paragraphs get unwieldy at times, the writer’s clear topic sentences and transitions help us seamlessly progress through the narrative.
• Being more direct and concise: At times, it feels like the writer rambles instead of making clear, direct points. Rambling can distract the reader from the main point you’re trying to make, so it’s best to stay on track in each paragraph.
• Fewer cliches: Relying on cliches shows immaturity in your writing. Cliches like “puppies, kittens, and rainbows” and “with the bad comes the good” get in the way of the writer’s own voice.

College Essay Example #12: The Filmmaker

Eye to the lens, I feel in complete control. The old camera weighs heavy in my hands as I quietly point my leading actor to the other side of the frame. Taking a moment to look at the world through my own eyes rather than a lens, I make a decision. I back up, careful not to trip, and capture the wide, panning shot I had envisioned. Filmmaking allows me to show others exactly how I see the world. With an odd angle or lingering aside, I can take my audience on a journey through my eyes(( This introduction raises a lot of questions that propel us forward through the essay: what is the writer doing? What is it that they want to show the world? Why does this all matter?)) .

What’s beautiful about filmmaking is that there are several art forms occurring simultaneously(( We begin with a paragraph that dives deep into the writer’s interest.)) . At the foundation of a scene is the script. Words that draw a viewer in and keep them there, the script is an essential act of creative writing. Next there’s the acting. An art of performance, acting brings the script to life. A good actor will make an audience feel as if they are with the characters, feeling what they feel and doing what they do. Then there’s the direction and filmmaking. Choices about how to translate a three-dimensional world to pixels on a screen drastically affect the audience’s experience. And, finally, there’s the editing. Editing is where all of the other art forms converge, selected and chopped up and stitched back together to create something even better than the original.

I’ve never been one for writing or acting. But the latter two, filmmaking and editing, are where my passions lie(( And here we learn about the writer’s main passion, inspirations, and journey as a filmmaker.)) . Inspired by my favorite movie, ET , I began filmmaking in elementary school. Borrowing my mom’s Flip UltraHD camera, I’d run around my home, filming everything in sight. Soon after, I started gathering my neighborhood friends in my backyard and directing them in made-up film productions. Our films took us on journeys around the world. We were pirates in the Atlantic, merchants in Paris, and kangaroos in Australia. We learned how to tell stories and create and resolve conflicts. In the process, we learned about ourselves, each other, and the world around us.

My love for editing didn’t come until later(( This is an okay topic sentence that helps us understand where we’re at in the narrative, but the paragraph as a whole could more clearly relate to the writer’s overall theme.)) . When my family upgraded our ancient Gateway 2000 to a sleek iMac, I became an iMovie aficionado. I learned how to use all the features and enter in keyboard shortcuts. I became a sculptor. Instead of clay, my material was digital. I’d split clips in half, manually zoom in to my subject, and add filters that changed the whole tone of a shot. Shift + Command + F, and I’d play my clips in full screen, evaluating them with the eye of a film critic. Was my shot effective? Are the actors convincing? Is there anything odd in the background? If I had never seen this, what would I think and feel? Then I’d repeat the process, over and over again.

Some people might say that dedicating myself to filmmaking is frivolous in a world with more pressing problems. But filmmaking is a way to spread messages and give people hope. From the change wrought by An Inconvenient Truth to the laughter Mr. Bean has incited in millions, filmmaking is a way to bring art, truth, and laughter to everyone. More accessible than books or newspapers, film and TV couldn’t be more essential media to confront the problems of today. With the passion of my ten-year-old self, the films I’ll continue to make will have an impact(( We conclude by learning about the writer’s interest in using filmmaking to impact the world. The writer could dig a little deeper here—it stays mainly on the surface.)) .

Word Count: 563

Admissions Officer Notes on The Filmmaker

In this essay, we get a great sense of how excited the writer is about filmmaking. They take us on their journey learning about filmmaking, and they explain how their interest will serve them in the future. I especially enjoy how this essay oozes passion. By the end of the essay, we have no doubt about what this writer sees as their life’s calling.

• Organization: The introduction , background, explanation, and discussion of personal growth all cohere perfectly. The writer walks us through each step of their journey in a clear and logical way.
• Voice: Through all the rich descriptions of the writer’s childhood, we really see their personality and voice.
• Significance and meaning : While it’s clear that this topic is one the writer is passionate about, the essay could evoke more meaning. It’s not apparent what’s truly at stake. The writer should ask and answer the question: “So what?” In answering that question, they’ll be able to be more vulnerable throughout the essay.

“Bad” College Essay Examples

“Bad” is in quotation marks here because writing is always relative.

In the case of these examples, we have categorized them as “bad” because they don’t adequately meet the expectations of a college essay. That doesn’t mean that they’re objectively bad or that their writers are bad writers. It means that the essays need some more attention.

“Bad” essays can always become good essays. Sometimes they can even become the best essays. What matters most is identifying what’s not working and putting in a lot of effort to address the problems.

Across the thousands of college essays we read as admissions officers, there are several issues that arise again and again. Learning from these issues can help you avoid them.

We have a whole post about those biggest college essay mistakes. But the following examples commit three different writing faux pas:

• Too much metaphor and not enough substance
• No main point or clear organization
• About a topic that is important to the writer but not actually that high-stakes

With these mistakes in mind, let’s do some analysis.

College Essay Example #13: Lost in the Forest

I look into the forest, moss wet on my feet(( This is an intriguing hook.)) . There’s fog everywhere—I can barely see the glasses that sit on my nose. I feel a cool breeze rustle against my coat. I am cold and warm all at once. The sun shines through the fog, casting the shadow of a tree whose roots know no end. At the entrance to the forest, I stand frozen in time and space. I can’t see what’s ahead of me or behind me, only what is(( After this sentence, the metaphor becomes unclear.)) . And what is suddenly transforms into what could be. I see a fork in the pathway in front of me. The noise—the noise is so loud. Crickets and owls and tigers, oh my(( Avoid cliche phrases.)) . My thoughts scream even louder. I can’t hear myself think through the sounds of the forest of my mind. Off in the distance, I see a figure. It’s a shadow figure. It’s my mother. She’s walking towards me. I take a step into the forest, fearlessly ready to confront any overwhelming obstacle that comes my way(( This is a nice sentence that encapsulates the main theme of the essay.)) .

When I was a child, I used to play in the forest behind my house. Until one day when I caught my mom sneaking a cigarette outside. She tried to hide it behind her back, but I could see the smoke trailing over her head like a snail. I didn’t know what to do, so I ran farther into the forest. I am used to being disappointed by her. I ran and ran and ran until I tripped over a tree branch that fell in the storm the week before. I laid on the cold, hard ground. The back of me was soaked. Would I turn into my mom? After that, I decided to turn back. The cold was encroaching. I got home and saw my mom in the kitchen. We agreed not to speak of what I saw(( This paragraph could use some more details about what’s at stake: why does all of this matter? As readers, we need more information about the writer’s relationship with their mom to understand why this confrontation was so significant.)) .

While taking a history test, I looked around at my classmates. The gray desk was cold against my skin. I started counting the people around me, noting those who I knew well and those I had never really talked to. I looked at all the expensive backpacks and shoes. After our test, I asked the person next to me how she thought she did. She said it was a difficult test, and I agreed. Every class period, we’d talk more and more. We became friends. We started hanging out with another friend from biology class. We were inseparable, like three peas in a pod. We’d study together and hang out together and dance. They were the best friends I ever had. We liked to play soccer after school and sing loudly to music in my room. But one day it all stopped. They both stopped talking to me((It's not clear how this anecdote relates to the anecdote about the writer’s mother. The significance of the forest metaphor could also be drawn out more.)) . It was like I had been yanked out of the forest and thrown on to the forest floor. I became moss, the owls pecking at my spikey green tendrils. They found two other friends, and I sat alone at my desk in history again. It was like another test, but this time a history of my own.

Things went on like this for years. Over and over again I got put back into the forest. My friends who I thought were my friends actually were just drama machines. Life is foggy when you don’t know what’s going on. And I live in a forest that’s always foggy. Try as I might to find myself, it’s easy to get lost in all the trails and hills. I’m climbing a mountain each and every day. But I keep going back into the forest, looking for answers(( The return to the metaphor almost works here. But because the metaphor has gotten in the way of the main point, we need more explicit reflection to tie everything together.)) .

Word Count: 603

Admissions Officer Notes on Lost in the Forest

So. Writers know that college essays should be meaningful reflections and exercises in creative writing. But sometimes writers take this advice to the extreme and write essays that are too metaphorical and too focused on internal reflection.

This essay is the perfect example of what happens when a writer goes over the top with metaphor. The forest metaphor could be a useful tool given the writer’s topic, but as it is now, everything else gets lost within the metaphor. It’s difficult to extract what the writer actually says about their life.

The writer’s reflection is also deep and removed from specific examples. After reading the essay, I still don’t feel like I know the writer. The topic also changes halfway through the essay, so following the thread throughout is challenging.

What this essay does well:

• Topic: Even though the writer’s topic switches in the middle of the essay, it’s clear that the topics are both meaningful to the writer. The first topic especially may still be grounds for a great college essay.
• Vulnerability: The writer’s vulnerability shines through. They are willing to share an important part of themselves.

What the writer could improve upon:

• Pick a main topic and stick with it: Part of what makes this essay challenging to follow is that it’s doing too many things at once. Narrowing the topic would help the writer focus all their thoughts on communicating one overall idea.
• Use the metaphor sparingly: Remember that metaphors are best when used sparingly. Pulling off an overarching metaphor is very difficult, so it’s generally easier for writers to sprinkle in small references to the metaphor throughout. A great way to accomplish this is the “bookend technique,” where you introduce a metaphor in the introduction and return to it in the conclusion. 
• Tighten up each paragraph : All of the paragraphs in this essay have a lot of information that doesn’t necessarily flow logically from one sentence to the next. My final recommendation would be to edit the paragraphs themselves for clarity. The writer should think about what information is essential and cut the rest.

College Essay Example #14: The Chemist

You(( There are always different opinions about addressing your reader. Sometimes it can work okay, but this instance doesn't work quite as well.)). may be wondering why I’ve taken so many chemistry classes. Well, that’s because I love chemistry. I used to hate chemistry with a fiery passion but now I love it more than anything. I remember that I used to struggle through every single chemistry assignment I ever got. My sister would try to help me but I’d just get upset, like I really just didn’t understand it and that was so frustrating so I just kept not wanting to do more but eventually I started to think “oh chemistry is at the foundation of everything that makes up our universe,” and isn’t that just fascinating?(( Whew—that was a long sentence! This is a run-on sentence, but we do learn about the writer’s primary motivation for studying chemistry.)) So then I decided to make a change and actually try to learn chemistry. I started paying attention in class and asking my teacher for help after class and finally one day my sister said, “Wow, you’re really improving.” And that meant so much to me. When my great-grandparents immigrated to the United States(( This reference is nice, but it's an abrupt topic change. It’s not clear why the writer is bringing up their great-grandparents.)) , they had no idea what would be in store for their great-grandkids. We really don’t learn chemistry in school until high school, so it’s no wonder I didn’t understand it in high school when I started taking it. Electrons and atoms and acids and alcohols. There’s so much to learn. I really have never been good at math so I’d say that’s one of my biggest challenges in chemistry now is learning how to do the equations and figuring out how the math works. In fifth grade I used to be in advanced math but then it just got worse from there until I learned about tutoring. I started doing tutoring through the high school when I was in ninth grade and it helped a lot because I just needed a little more help for each lesson to really understand it. But even with that the math part of chemistry is still hard for me. But I always keep trying! That’s the most important thing to me I think is to keep trying(( This is a good statement of values.)) . Even when problems are hard and I can’t solve them I try to have a good attitude because even if I can’t get it right, doing chemistry is about unlocking the secrets of the universe and that really is interesting even if you can’t completely understand them. When I started taking chemistry in my sophomore year I almost gave up but I was also really inspired by my teacher who guided me through everything. She gave me extra time to do my lab work and was even my lab partner a couple times because our class has an uneven number of students. My favorite part of chemistry lab is mixing solutions and testing them. I don’t like the lab report writing so much but I know it’s an important part. So I try to just get through that so I can get back to doing experiments and such. My favorite experiments was about building a calormieter to measure how many calories is in our food(( Pay attention to small errors and typos like this one.)) . Calories are energy so you burn your food to measure how much energy they have. Then you write up a report about how many calories each food item like bananas, bread, a cookie, had. The best part of doing labs is having your lab partner there with you. You’re both wearing goggles and lab coats and gloves and you feel really like a professional chemist and it’s nice that you’re not doing it alone. You just read the lab instructions and do each of the steps in order. It’s like baking a cake! You just follow the recipe. But you don’t eat the results! You might use beakers or bunsen burners to hold liquid or burn or heat up whatever it is you’re experimenting on. And when I say “find the meaning of the universe” I really mean it(( The writer is trying to return to a bigger reflection here, but the transition needs to be much smoother.)) . It’s amazing how much chemistry is in everything. Cooking is doing chemistry because you’re changing up the properties of the food. The air we breathe, the way plants get energy, the medicines we take, we understand it all because of chemistry. I know that becoming a chemist is hard work and isn’t easy. But I know that it’s rewarding and that’s why I want to do it. Helping people is so important to me and I think that chemistry can help me get there(( Here, we also learn about the writer’s values and motivations.)) . I also like the health and beauty industry and I think it would be fun to get to develop new products or perfumes or medicines.

Word Count: 746

Admissions Officer Notes on The Chemist

There’s no easy way to say it, but this essay just doesn’t meet the mark. That’s why it gets an F. It reads like a free write rather than an essay because it is stream-of-consciousness and doesn’t really make a clear point. I learn that the writer loves chemistry, but the overall message is not clear.

• Ideas : All hope is not lost! Once we dig into what each sentence of the essay is saying, there are some good ideas that the writer can turn into a more cohesive topic.
• Organization: I hesitate to make any extreme claims about college essays, but I feel pretty confident in saying that the vast majority of college essays should always be more than one paragraph. You need paragraphs to break up your thoughts into digestible chunks. Each paragraph should contain a single point you’re trying to convey to the reader. This writer should break all these ideas up into several paragraphs.
• Theme: We see that the topic of the essay is chemistry, that chemistry is interesting because it’s the foundation of everything, and that chemistry can help people. But we don’t really get any deeper meaning from the writer. They haven’t made an attempt to be vulnerable or to show us something significant about themself.
• Length: The essay is almost a hundred words over the word count. The writer needs to pare things down as they organize and clarify their ideas.

Supplemental Essay Examples

In addition to your personal statement, many colleges will also have you write what are called “supplemental essays.”

These essays do exactly as the name implies: they supplement your personal statement. They’re the perfect opportunity for you to tell admissions officers even more about yourself beyond the information you put in your personal statement. Specifically, ou can use them strategically to highlight even more of your strengths.

There are no universal supplemental essay prompts like there are for the Common Application personal statement.

Instead, colleges provide their own supplemental essay prompt(s) as part of their applications.

The good news, however, is that these prompts generally fall into a few common categories: Why Us, Community, Personal Challenge, Extracurricular Activities, Academic Interest, Diversity, and Why this Major prompts.

If you want to learn more about what these prompts entail, or about how to even write a supplemental essay in the first place, check out our complete guide to writing supplemental essays (it’s really good).

For now, let’s take a look at standout example essays for four of the most common supplemental prompt types.

Community Essay: The DIY-ers

Prompt from MIT: Describe the world you come from (for example, your family, school, community, city, or town). How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

225 words or fewer"

I come from a family of do-it-yourselfers(( Straightforward but attention-grabbing. Nice!)) . In part, this lifestyle is one of necessity. Hiring professionals isn’t cheap, after all. But our DIY proclivities are also a product of a longstanding family tradition of ingenuity.

My first DIY was a fix on my Cozy Coupe, whose steering wheel had fallen off. Since then, my DIYs have become larger scale. With my dad, I’ve replaced loose bike chains, put in a new car clutch, and re-tiled our kitchen.

But our biggest DIY to date has been building a six-foot telescope(( Great topic choice that connects to the writer’s academic interests)) together. Made of scraps and spare parts, it’s not the most beautiful telescope. But our focus is on the stars anyway. My entire family has evening picnics, taking turns to look through the makeshift eyepiece. Occasionally the eyepiece falls off, and we all laugh(( I love the personality that emerges with this detail.)) as I run over to replace it.

Coming from a DIY family has made me self-reliant. And when the fixes just aren’t working, my dad reminds me to take a step back and think creatively about solutions. It’s from this mindset that my dream of being an environmental engineer has evolved(( The writer could get to this point sooner.)) .

I know that engineering isn’t just about fancy gadgets. It’s about ingenuity. I want to adapt my DIY ingenuity, mind and hand(( A cheeky nod to the school’s motto—interesting!)) , to even bigger projects that mitigate climate change and lead to a safer tomorrow(( I also like this gesture to the broader significance of their dreams and aspirations.)) .

Word Count: 220

Admissions Officer Notes

• Topic: The writer has chosen a pretty interesting topic for this community essay that will most likely stand out among other candidates. More importantly, the community they’ve chosen to write about is one that they hold dear and have learned a lot from. The story connects in specific ways to who they are as a person and what their dreams and aspirations have come to be.
• Growth: The prompt asks how the community has “shaped” your dreams and aspirations. This writer focuses on the progression of their aspirations while telling endearing stories about their relationship with their family members.
• Future goals: The writer explicitly states how this community has shaped how and what they want to do in the future.

What it could improve on:

• Pacing: Aside from describing your community, the main question of the prompt is how that community has shaped your dreams and aspirations. While the writer does get to an answer, they could spend more time in the essay focusing on that answer.

Diversity Essay: Bumpass

Prompt from Duke:  We seek a diverse student body that embodies the wide range of human experience. In that context, we are interested in what you’d like to share about your lived experiences and how they’ve influenced how you think of yourself.

There((A great, interesting hook that also jumps into a connection with Duke.)) are more traffic lights on the Duke University campus than there are in my entire hometown.

I don’t actually know how many traffic lights Duke has, but it’s a pretty safe bet that it has more than zero, which is how many we have here in Bumpass, Virginia.

Yes, Bumpass. Pronounced “bump-us”.

I’m from a weird little lake town in central Virginia((This paragraph gives us a clear picture of the writer's lived experiences.)) that has two types of residents: part-timers (that’s what we call them), mostly from DC, Richmond, or Charlottesville, with million-plus dollar homes on Lake Anna. They swim and boat on the private side of the lake, which is heated (yes, the lake is heated) by a nuclear power plant. And then there are families like mine. The locals. I’ve always thought “working class” was a nice way for rich people to call poor people poor, but that’s what we are. Families like mine clean the power plant. I’ve never swam in the private side, and our boat is a canoe.

Officially((And this paragraph gives us a good sense of how those lived experiences have influenced them.)) , I’ve had a job since my 16th birthday, which is the legal age in Virginia. But I’ve worked cleaning rental homes and fixing boats for part-timers with my uncle since I was old enough to use a Swiffer and turn a wrench. I’ve cleaned homes that cost more than my extended family’s combined net worth, but oddly I enjoy it. When I see inside their homes, I have something to aspire to, and that’s more than most of my hometown peers can say.

Success around here means making it through community college. Doing so in two years all without abusing alcohol or drugs? I don’t know many people who have done that. But I want to bring my Bumpass experience to Duke.((Nice job bringing the story back to the connection with Duke.)) I know how to rise before the sun and get a day’s worth of work in before noon. I know how to talk to goat farmers and postal workers (my best friend’s parents) just as well as neurosurgeons and pilots (my favorite part-timers whose docks I maintain in the off-season).

I’m looking forward to learning from the diverse body at Duke, making friends from around the world, and gaining a better understanding of the world beyond Bumpass((This conclusion ties the essay together nicely and communicates good school fit.)) .

• Humor and personality: From the topic of the town’s name to the introduction, the writer uses humor (when appropriate) and clearly shows their own voice. They take an authentic approach to the diversity essay prompt. I feel like I know the student after reading this, which is always good.
• School Connections: While there aren’t a ton of references to Duke here, the prompt doesn’t necessarily ask for them. The writer still does a good job connecting their lived experience to how they see themself at Duke.

Personal Challenge Essay: Tutoring Charlotte

Prompt from Brown: Brown’s culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. This active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. Tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. How did you respond? (200-250 words)

Asking Charlotte to answer a math question was like asking a cat to take a bath. Her resistance was almost instinctual. When I first met her, I had been doing after-school tutoring for about six months. The program paired up high school students with middle schoolers who were falling behind in their classes. Charlotte was my first student and biggest challenge(( Nice wording to make it abundantly clear that the writer is answering the prompt)) .

At first, her unwillingness to try came across as lazy(( This sentence gets at what the prompt is asking for: “a perspective that differed from your own”)) . I used everything I had in my tutoring arsenal. I encouraged her to give her confidence, and I even brought candy to bribe her. To my dismay, nothing worked. Each time I introduced a new problem, Charlotte simply refused.

My frustration grew so immense that I caught myself being curt with her. When I saw the look of betrayal in her eyes, I was ashamed at my impatience(( Here we have an inciting incident and growth that resulted from a realization. The writer begins to address the “how did you respond?” part of the prompt.)) . I realized that Charlotte’s struggles weren’t her fault. Math has always come easy to me. Whereas every math problem I encounter is like a code I’m excited to crack, Charlotte sees math problems as threats. After years of struggling, it’s no wonder that she stopped trying.

Once I understood that we approach math from different perspectives, I tried something new. I got rid of the math book and graph paper, and I brought out gummy bears. We did an algebra problem without her even knowing it. Together(( The writer zooms the focus out to a larger reflection about what they learned from this interaction. Nice.)) , we worked to overcome her fear of math. Along the way, I learned to teach the person, not the subject matter.

World Count: 247

• Topic choice: Personal Challenge prompts can be some of the most difficult, especially if you don’t have a specific challenge you’ve faced in your life. This writer’s topic choice works great. They show that you don’t have to have a life-altering challenge to answer this prompt well.
• Clear narrative: This prompt is a lengthy one, but the writer has clearly read it and used it to structure the story. As a reader, it’s easy to follow along as the writer identifies the problem, works toward a solution, overcomes hurdles, and eventually comes out successful in the end.
• Connections: Different prompts require different levels of connections to the school. This writer incorporates some of Brown’s institutional values, but, especially since the prompt says so much about Brown’s community, the writer could have made more effort to connect their story to Brown.

Extracurricular Essay: Working Retail

Prompt from Vanderbilt:  Vanderbilt offers a community where students find balance between their academic and social experiences. Please briefly elaborate on how one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences has influenced you.

“ Would(( Beginning any essay with dialog can be hit or miss. But this is a hit. The dialog quickly captures the essence of working in retail and plops the reader directly into the writer’s extracurricular activity.)) you like another size? Sure thing, I’ll get a medium.”

“Are you interested in saving 10% today with an Old Navy Card? No, no worries…”

“I can clean the bathrooms if someone covers the fitting room!”

I didn’t expect much from my first job. Mostly, I expected to earn $12 an hour and improve my denim folding skills at Old Navy. I didn’t think I could learn so much about people and develop life skills.

As(( This paragraph could be a little more specific to the writer rather than their coworkers.))  odd as it may sound, retail work brought people together during COVID. I started in July of 2020. Our store had always met for monthly meetings, but everyone emphasized how much closer they’d become since the pandemic. Stepping up to cover someone’s shift when they got sick–or their spouse or child did–used to elicit a quick “thank you!”, but took on a more profound meaning in 2020. Though I started mid-pandemic, everyone I worked with remarked that, with a few notable exceptions, the overall demeanor of the clientele was much more empathetic. My coworkers seemed to go from sales associates to brave workers keeping the economy afloat overnight.

After about seven months of dutiful work, I was promoted(( The writer seamlessly incorporates the information that they earned a promotion after a relatively brief time of working at the store.)) to senior associate and had new responsibilities of closing and opening the store. Sure, I had dreams of working in an infectious disease lab. But having adults put real trust in me to account for several thousand dollars and secure a major outlet made me value and understand work perhaps even more than the research internship I missed out on(( I appreciate the perspective here. The writer makes a good argument for the importance of retail work, especially in relation to their academic interests.)) .

I am thankful for this opportunity to work and learn with a dedicated staff. Now, I look forward to pursuing more experiences that will relate to my career in biotech in college. Oh, and I won’t miss soliciting credit card sales with each purchase(( This humor bookends the essay wonderfully and adds some extra personality.)) !

• Focus on strengths: Maintaining the right focus in extracurricular essays can be tricky. It can be easy to get caught up in the details of the activity and brag too much or not enough. Especially with extracurricular activities that aren’t based in competition, it can be challenging to draw out strengths. But this writer finds the perfect way to talk about their accomplishments and strengths (being promoted and being a team player) while also seeming personable and humble.
• Connection to future goals : Importantly, the writer doesn’t just leave the story at their retail job. They show the admissions officer how they see this job as contributing toward their future goals.
• Transitions: The transitions between paragraphs and into the detail about a future biotech career could be smoother.

Why this Major: Watchers

Prompt from USC: Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USC specifically. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (Approximately 250 words)

As a child(( I like how the writer takes a more creative approach to a standard “why this major” essay.)) , I always got in trouble for staring. My mom would nudge me whenever I looked at someone too long. My uncontrollable staring was an embarrassment for her, but it’s one of the things I love most about myself. Whereas some people are do-ers, I am a watcher, a listener, and a documenter(( We learn a lot about the writer’s personality here.)) . Like introverts and extroverts, the world needs both kinds of people.

Watchers have an admirable task: to see what exists and give it meaning. That’s exactly what I want to do while pursuing my academic interests in anthropology(( And at this point, we jump quickly into the connections between the opening story and the writer’s academic interests. )) . In particular, I’m interested in learning about art, language, and culture in Russia. Pursuing a research career in anthropology would open up opportunities for me to do research for government offices and move toward my ultimate goal(( Incorporating a future goal that they’re working towards is an effective approach.)) of working for the United Nations.

As(( This paragraph has a number of specific, detailed, and relevant connections to the school.)) a Visual Anthropology and Russian double major at USC, I would hone my social scientist skills and improve my Russian language abilities. I’m also eager to participate in a directed internship and to connect with fellow watchers in the Anthropology and Global Studies club. The Center for Visual Anthropology, minor in Folklore and Popular Culture, and the anthropology-focused study abroad opportunity in St. Petersburg all converge to make USC the ideal place for me to learn.

With USC’s global focus and emphasis on creativity, research, and public service, I know that I could develop my watching skills into a successful anthropology career(( And the writer concludes by drawing on some of the institution’s core values, which helps ground all of those disparate connections into something meaningful that the writer aligns themself with.)) .

• Writing style and storytelling: This essay shows that supplemental essays don’t have to be boring. The writer opens with an interesting hook and writes about their major interest in a compelling way.
• School research and connections: The writer does a good job specifically answering the “how you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USC” part of the prompt. It’s clear that they’ve done their research, and the connections they’ve chosen to focus on make sense in the context of the story they’ve told. They also incorporate school values in addition to simple facts.
• Writing about school connections : To take this essay to the next level, the student could write about the school connections in a slightly more elegant way. As they are now, they feel quite list-like.

Academic Interest: Everyday History

Prompt from Barnard: At Barnard, academic inquiry starts with bold questions. What are some of the bold questions you have pondered that get you excited and why do they interest you? Tell us how you would explore these questions at Barnard. (max 300)

As I walked through the ancient city of Pompeii(( This is a beautiful hook that stops and makes the reader think, too.)) on a family vacation, I thought about the children. I imagined how scared they must have been when the volcano erupted, how they must have reached out to their caregivers for protection. When a large group of people mobbed through the alley next to us, I reached out to my own mother(( With a simple phrase, the writer shows the connection between themself and the people of the past who have captured their attention.)) as an anchor.

What interests me most about history is that the people of the past(( The writer adeptly transitions from a poetic introduction to a straightforward answer to the prompt.)) were just like us. They had likes and dislikes, they became frightened and love-struck and tired. While the history of royalty and great wars captures most people’s attention, what I want to study is the history of everyday people.

What(( These questions respond exactly to what the prompt is asking for. )) was it like to be a child in Pompeii? How did prisoners feel on their way to Australia? What kinds of recipes did the Aztecs cook?

I know that with Barnard’s culture of multidisciplinarity, discovery, and creative thinking, I’d be able to pursue these questions and more(( The writer draws on Barnard’s own values and connects their interests, goals, and questions to specific offerings at Barnard.)) . In classes like Gender and Empire, I’ll learn about the ways European expansion was gendered. And in Children and Childhood in African History or Reproducing Inequalities: Family in Latin American History, I’ll be able to ask questions about the history of the family: How have family structures varied across time and place? What historical role have children played? In what ways have parenting practices changed and why?

While they may seem inconsequential for life today, I believe that answering these questions helps us better understand ourselves. With Barnard’s Building Strong Voices(( And they also reference out-of-the-classroom opportunities.)) mission, I’ll learn how to present my research and advocate for the importance of history.

The world needs more histories of everyday people. We have a lot to learn from them, and Barnard’s offerings will help me lead us to better historical and current understandings(( With this conclusion, it’s clear how Barnard will help the writer accomplish their goals. )) .

Word Count: 299

• Introduction: Academic interest essays are your chance to go all-in. The introduction to this essay does just that. We’re immediately transported into this writer’s academic interest, and we begin to ask these questions alongside them.
• Answering all parts of the prompt: This can be a tricky feat when responding to complex prompts like Barnard’s. But this writer does just that. They tackle each part of the prompt in order, and they make clear transitions between them.

College Essay Example Takeaways

Whether you’re writing a personal statement or supplemental essay, reading and analyzing college essay examples is an important tool. Good examples can give you insight into the proper form and structure to use. And bad examples can be just as helpful by showing you what not to do.

All admissions officers will approach your college essays from different perspectives. But hopefully the grades and comments—provided by our team of former admissions officers and professional writing coaches—have helped you understand what works, what doesn’t work, and why.

As you’ve seen, there are so many essays, topics, personalities, approaches—you can write a college essay about almost anything.

Remember that the key to any successful college application is a cohesive application narrative . 

And if you want to take your own college essays to the next level, join the Essay Academy for an entire course of professional guidance.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do admissions officers actually grade college essays, what makes a good college essay, liked that try this next..

How to Write a College Essay (Exercises + Examples)

How to Write Supplemental Essays that Will Impress Admissions Officers

8 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

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Exemplification Essay: Easy Guide and Structure

Did you know that Steve Jobs, the visionary co-founder of Apple, often utilized exemplification techniques to convey complex ideas with simplicity? It's not merely about randomly tossing in examples; it's about strategically weaving them to create a compelling narrative. Picture your ideas resonating with the clarity that Jobs brought to his iconic product launches.

As we delve into this guide, you'll discover the secret sauce behind how to write an exemplification essay, where each example isn't just a statistic but a carefully chosen beacon of persuasion. Are you ready to master the art of crafting essays that not only inform but also leave a lasting impact? Then, our expert writers, who you can pay for essays , will unravel the mysteries, share insider tips, and provide you with a personal blueprint to hone your essay to new heights.

What Is an Exemplification Essay

An exemplification essay definition isn't about bombarding people with as many examples as you can – it's about strategically choosing the right ones to make your case. Imagine you have a strong belief or idea you want to share with others—maybe it's the importance of a healthy lifestyle or the impact of climate change. This type of essay is your vehicle to not just tell people about it but to show them through examples.

Here's the deal: instead of just stating your point, you carefully select real-life examples to back it up. It's like you're building a case, presenting evidence in the form of specific instances, scenarios, or anecdotes. Think of these examples as your persuasive tools, convincing your readers that your idea isn't just a theory; it's backed by concrete, relatable situations.

So, whether you're arguing about the significance of renewable energy or discussing the challenges of work-life balance, you're essentially saying, 'Hey, look at this example—it perfectly illustrates what I'm talking about!' It's the art of turning abstract concepts into tangible, relatable stories.

But there's a skill to it. It's not about drowning your essay in examples; it's about choosing them wisely and strategically to build a compelling narrative. This way, your readers not only understand your point but also connect with it on a personal level.

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Why Write an Exemplification Essay

Now that we've got a grasp on what these essays are let's tackle the big question: Why bother writing an exemplification essay?

According to our essay writer service these essays are like a secret weapon for making your ideas stick. Have you ever had that moment where you explain something, and people go, 'Huh?' Well, an exemplary essay is your antidote to that confusion.

Imagine you're arguing for the importance of environmental conservation. You could talk about it in broad terms, or you could dive into specific examples – like the success stories of communities turning green or the consequences of neglecting our planet. These examples make your point hit home. It's not just an idea anymore; it's a real, tangible thing.

Secondly, writing such an essay hones your skills in presenting a compelling case. It's like becoming a persuasive storyteller. Think about it – you're not just convincing people of your viewpoint; you're showing them the proof.

And here's the kicker: it makes your writing more relatable. People connect with stories with real-life situations. Your essay isn't just a piece of writing; it's a conversation.

How to Write an Exemplification Essay in 10 Steps

Now, let's break down the writing process into ten straightforward steps that will transform your ideas into a persuasive narrative. So, grab your writing toolkit and kick off this guided journey!

1. Select a Subject

Choosing the right subject sets the stage for writing exemplification essay. The key here is to opt for a topic that not only interests you but also allows for a range of examples to support your ideas. Here are five examples:

• The Impact of Virtual Museums on Access to Art: Explore how digital platforms are changing the way people experience and engage with art.
• DIY Culture and Its Influence on Creativity: Examine the role of do-it-yourself culture in fostering creativity and self-expression in various fields.
• The Evolution of Personal Finance Apps: Investigate how technology has transformed the landscape of personal finance and money management.
• Ephemeral Art Installations and Public Spaces: Explore the temporary nature of art installations in public spaces and their impact on community dynamics.
• The Intersection of Technology and Mindfulness Practices: Examine how technology is being integrated into mindfulness practices, from meditation apps to virtual wellness experiences.

Also, make sure not to miss our narrative essay topics . It's your secret stash of diverse ideas that can spark your creativity and add that extra flair to your writing!

2. Generate Ideas

Now that you've got your subject locked in, it's time to let those creative juices flow and generate a bunch of exemplification essay ideas. Think of it like brainstorming, but with a twist – you're not just jotting down anything; you're focusing on examples that vividly illustrate your chosen subject.

Consider the subject 'The Impact of Technology on Daily Life.' Start by thinking about specific instances or scenarios where technology has played a significant role. How about the influence of smartphones on communication or the transformative power of social media?

Remember, you're not looking for just one example; you're building a pool of possibilities. Don't worry about refining them just yet – we'll get to that. And if you're rather concerned - 'If I could pay someone to write my research paper ,' our experts are always at your service.

3. Select Suitable Examples

Alright, you've got a bunch of ideas swirling around, and now it's time to play matchmaker. In this step, you're narrowing down your pool of examples to the ones that best fit your essay's narrative.

Let's say your subject is 'The Impact of Technology on Daily Life,' and one of your ideas is the influence of smartphones on communication. Now, consider if this example aligns seamlessly with your overall message. Does it vividly illustrate your point about the transformative role of technology?

4. Develop an Exemplification Essay Outline

Now that you've handpicked your star examples, it's time to give your essay a solid structure. Start with the introduction – set the stage for your readers by introducing your subject and hinting at the examples they can expect. Then, map out your body paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a specific example, showcasing its significance and tying it back to your overall theme.

Consider the subject 'The Impact of Technology on Daily Life.' Your outline might look like this:

I. Introduction

• Briefly introduce the impact of technology on daily life.
• State your thesis, highlighting the key examples that will be explored.

II. Body Paragraphs

• Paragraph 1: Discuss the influence of smartphones on communication.
• Provide real-life examples illustrating this impact.
• Explain how these examples support your thesis.
• Paragraph 2: Explore the transformative power of social media.
• Present specific instances of social media's impact.
• Connect these examples to your overarching theme.

III. Conclusion

• Summarize the key examples and their collective impact.
• Reinforce the thesis statement and leave readers with a thought-provoking conclusion.

5. Craft an Exemplification Essay Introduction

Now that your blueprint is in place, it's time to captivate your readers from the get-go with a compelling introduction.

For instance, using our previous subject, consider starting with a thought-provoking question or a startling fact about the increasing integration of technology. Invite your readers into the narrative and give them a glimpse of the examples they're about to explore.

Here's a sample introduction:

'Have you ever stopped to ponder the profound ways in which technology infiltrates our daily lives? From the intimate realms of communication to the vast landscapes of social interactions, the impact is undeniable. In an era dominated by smartphones and social media, our existence is intricately woven into the fabric of technological advancements. In this paper, I will examine the transformative examples that illustrate how technology shapes our daily reality.'

6. Construct Exemplification Essay Body Paragraphs

Now comes the meaty part – constructing the body paragraphs of your essay. Each paragraph should shine a spotlight on a specific example, showcasing its relevance and impact.

Continuing with the subject, let's delve into constructing the body paragraphs:

• Paragraph 1: The Influence of Smartphones on Communication
• Introduce the example with a clear topic sentence.
• Provide specific instances of how smartphones have altered communication dynamics.
• Connect each example back to your thesis, emphasizing the transformative impact.
• Paragraph 2: The Transformative Power of Social Media
• Kick off with a distinct topic sentence.
• Present real-life situations illustrating social media's profound impact.
• Establish the link between these examples and your central theme.

Title: Got a Story Itching to Break Free?

Text: Your ideas are itching for the limelight – let's set them free and watch the magic unfold!

Button: Hit Play on Brilliance

7. Incorporate Supporting Evidence

As you dive into the details of each example, don't forget to fortify your narrative with supporting evidence. Whether it's statistics, expert quotes, or relevant studies, these elements add credibility and depth to your exemplification essay example.

For instance, when discussing the influence of smartphones on communication, you might incorporate survey results or testimonials that highlight the changing patterns of interpersonal connection. Similarly, when exploring the impact of social media, consider weaving in relevant studies showcasing its role in shaping societal norms.

Supporting evidence not only strengthens your argument but also provides readers with a solid foundation to comprehend the broader implications of your examples.

8. Conclude Your Essay Effectively

As you approach the conclusion of effective exemplification essay examples, it's time to bring everything together and leave a lasting impression. Your conclusion might look like this:

'In conclusion, the examples clearly show how technology significantly affects our daily lives. Whether it's changing how we communicate with smartphones or influencing societal dynamics through social media, the evidence is convincing. Technology isn't just a tool; it plays a powerful role in shaping our reality. As we adapt to these changes, it's important to be aware of their significant effects and regularly consider how we navigate this constantly evolving technological landscape.'

You might also want to check out our IEEE format example . This resource provides a practical demonstration of how to format your citations according to IEEE standards, ensuring precision and adherence to the specific guidelines.

9. Acknowledge Counter-arguments

Great essays consider multiple perspectives. Acknowledging counter-arguments demonstrates a thorough understanding of your subject and adds nuance to your essay.

Using our example, you might address concerns about technology's negative impact on privacy or the potential for social media to contribute to misinformation. Discussing these counter-arguments briefly allows you to strengthen your stance by addressing potential doubts.

For instance:

'While the transformative impact of technology is undeniable, it's essential to acknowledge concerns about privacy in an interconnected world. Some argue that our reliance on smartphones and social media compromises our personal information. While this concern is valid, it's crucial to navigate this digital landscape with informed choices, striking a balance between connectivity and safeguarding our privacy.'

By incorporating counter-arguments, you demonstrate a nuanced understanding of your topic and enhance the overall credibility of your essay.

10. Thoroughly Proofread and Edit Your Essay

Congratulations! You successfully grasped how to write an exemplification essay, and now it's time to refine it further through careful proofreading and editing. This step is like polishing a gem to ensure it shines brightly. Here's a systematic approach according to our custom dissertation writing service :

• Read Aloud: Hearing your essay allows you to catch awkward phrasing, errors, or areas that need improvement.
• Check Flow: Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Your essay should have a logical progression, guiding readers effortlessly from one point to the next.
• Verify Coherence: Confirm that each example aligns with your thesis and contributes to the overall narrative. Remove any instances that may disrupt the flow.
• Grammar and Punctuation: Scrutinize for grammatical errors, punctuation mishaps, and spelling issues. Precision in language enhances the clarity of your message.
• Consistency: Maintain consistency in your writing style, tense, and formatting throughout the essay. It creates a polished and professional presentation.
• Address Feedback: If possible, seek feedback from others. Fresh eyes can catch things you might have overlooked.
• Final Evaluation: Ask yourself: Does each example support my thesis? Is my message clear and compelling? Have I effectively addressed counter-arguments?

7 Exemplification Essay Writing Tips

Now, let's set the stage for writing an exemplification essay successfully with some key tips.

• Choose Thematic Precision: Before diving into examples, precisely define your theme. Don't cast too wide a net; focus on a specific aspect to ensure your examples align seamlessly with your chosen theme.
• Use Cohesive Chronology: Arrange your examples in a logical chronological order. This not only aids readability but also allows your readers to follow the evolution of your ideas seamlessly. Additionally, knowing how to use punctuation marks enhances the clarity of your writing.
• Spice Up Your Narrative Palette: Incorporate diverse examples to keep your readers engaged. Mix personal anecdotes with well-researched statistics or relevant case studies to add layers to your narrative.
• Connect the Dots: Weave strong transitions between examples. It's not just about presenting relevant examples; it's about guiding your readers through a coherent storyline. Ensure each example naturally flows into the next.
• Explore Fewer, Explore Deeper: Instead of bombarding your exemplification paper with countless examples, delve deeper into a select few. Provide detailed analysis and insights for a richer, more impactful narrative.
• Make Your Examples Relatable: Strive for a connection between your examples and your readers' experiences. The more relatable your examples, the more your audience can personally connect with your narrative.
• Employ Reflective Closure: Conclude your essay with a reflective note. Encourage your readers to think beyond the presented examples, pondering the broader implications of your theme. Leave them with a lingering thought that resonates beyond the final words.

Exemplification Essay Examples

In this section, we will unfold an outstanding example that will serve as a vivid illustration, making the intricacies of the topic much clearer for you.

Final Outlook

As we wrap up this exploration of an exemplification essay, it's worth reflecting on the tools we've gathered. Have these examples sparked a newfound confidence in turning your ideas into compelling narratives? Are you now equipped to choose examples that resonate with your readers, making your essay a captivating journey? Remember, the essence lies not just in presenting evidence but in crafting a story that engages, persuades, and lingers in the minds of your audience. You can always order essay from our expert team, who will guide your pen and transform your essays into stories that not only inform but resonate with the human experience.

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Related Articles

Top 20 Essay Introduction Examples

Introduction

The top 20 essay introduction examples are the best and most popular introductions to use when writing essays. These examples are easy to read and clearly understand what the author is trying to say in their opening paragraph. These essay introduction examples can be used as templates for future essays.

As students, we must learn how to create our own memorable hooks so that we may stand out from other writers in our class. The more creative and original your hook is, the better chance you have of being remembered by your professor because they will notice something about you that they haven’t seen before. What’s more?

1) Your hook should grab your reader’s attention and make them want to read the rest of your paper.

2) Your hook should also reveal something about the topic at hand, perhaps even hinting at what will be discussed in more detail later on.

3) Your hook should be clear, concise, and to the point such that no one could think that your opening sentence is boring or unclear.

The first paragraph of a personal essay is crucial because it draws readers in and lets them know what will follow. That’s why the most important part of an introduction is to tell the reader what kind of essay you are writing and to give them a hint about the main idea.

For instance, let’s assume that you are writing a personal essay about how your friend lost his legs in an unfortunate accident and that you are trying to express the theme of hope. To start this kind of essay, you would do well using sentences like “Some people have hopeless causes for their lives, but I feel that my friend has things to hope for.”

Let’s go over a few tips before reaching the examples, but you can scroll to the examples section if you’re in a hurry. Also, in case you wish to skip this guide altogether due to reasons such as a busy schedule, our top writers are ready to cover you by ensuring that your essay is written to the highest standards. All you need to do is place an order with us!

The Importance of the Introductory Paragraph

An introduction paragraph not only introduces the topic but also gives some insight into what will be discussed. A successful introductory paragraph must accomplish the following:

1) It should tell the reader what kind of paper they are about to read (e.g., memo, argumentative essay , narrative).

2) It should briefly state in one sentence the purpose of writing this paper.

3) It should tell the reader what kind of information they will get, and that is related to their purpose.

4) It should give a brief overview of the main points discussed in the rest of your paper.

5) It should give the reader an idea of your position regarding the topic.

6) If it’s a narrative essay , it should tell the main character and why they are important.

7) It should point out some startling or interesting information about your subject (e.g., quote them on something).

The purpose of your introductory paragraph is to grab the reader’s attention and get them interested in what you have to say.

How to Write a Good Introductory Paragraph

First, write your subject in a simple declarative sentence—the simpler, the better. In this sentence, tell what you will talk about (your topic) and your main idea. The more specific your claim is, the easier it will be for you to develop your argument later on.

The next step would be to create your topic sentence. This sentence focuses on the main idea and includes the supporting ideas or subtopics that will be discussed later.

The last step is to start with your thesis statement that summarizes what you will discuss in this paper. It summarizes and answers the questions of what you want to prove and shows what you want your reader to believe in. This statement is the most important sentence of your entire writing because if this is not convincing, nothing else in your paper will be convincing either. So, make sure that it reflects all of these characteristics listed above.

Top 20 Examples of Good Essay Introductions

Different types of essays require different ways to start the essay, but some general rules will apply to any kind of writing . The best way to get a sense of how you should structure your introduction is to look at model essays written by professionals and see how they approach it.

Here are 20 great essay introductions that can serve as a starting point for your essay. Read them to get some ideas on how to write your introduction:

Use of humor

A humorous introduction can sometimes grab the attention of your reader even better than an interesting fact.

Here are some examples of funny essay introductions:

1) “Most people, when asked for help, do their best to avoid doing anything that will make them feel uncomfortable or inconvenient. However, one particular person named Barbara McFadden is entirely different from all other people. She is one of those people who will go out of their way to make you feel special, even if that means calling the police and making a big scene.”

2) “Although, as funny as it is, I could see myself being an extra in that movie. I mean, there are times when my family and I go shopping, and we make so much noise that people stare at us and shake their heads with disgust.”

3) “Before I start telling you about our amazing vacation, I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Jana, and I am from Chicago; however, my family spent most of our weekends in Wisconsin. We enjoy going over there because we love the cold, crisp weather and the extremely friendly people.”

4) “There was a point when I lost my sanity. Every day that went by, I would miss her even more. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing, she still crossed my mind every few minutes. Whether it be day or night, awake or asleep, smiling or crying, my heart was filled with the pain of having her right there in front of me and not being able to hold her or take away the pain she must be feeling.”

Using statistics

Statistics can help make your essay attractive to the reader and show them some of the positive characteristics of your topic.

Here is an example of a good introduction with statistics:

5) “More than 50 million people will get married in the US by 2015, which is a 4.7% increase from 2008.”

6) “Although some people consider colleges to be similar, there is one thing that can make an enormous difference between them, and that is the tuition fees. The cost of public universities has doubled in the last ten years while the private ones have increased 7.5 times.”

7) “In the last decade, those people under 40 years of age have increased by about 6%. Many factors can be attributed to this increase in population. One of the main reasons for this is immigration; however, scientists believe that the other reason lies within our genes.”

Using anecdotes

Anecdotes are very interesting because they generally contain a lot of information about your topic, and they can show the reader exactly why your essay’s subject is important to you.

This is an example that uses anecdotes:

8) “It was my 11th grade when I planned on attending college. At the same time, my dad was planning to retire near our family home in Georgia. He had planned to stay there until he could fix up the old house of our relatives. To him, retirement meant time for him to do all the things that he had ever wanted. My dad has always had a passion for woodwork and animals. Therefore, my plan was simple: fixing up my new home with my father in Georgia.”

9) “After loving each other for so long, my boyfriend and I were finally getting married. We had made all the plans to have a wonderful wedding and honeymoon in France; however, there was one problem. One week before our wedding, my husband-to-be got in a car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. For me, it was like my world had shattered to pieces. He was the only thing that kept me going. I knew that as long as I stayed strong, he would make it through anything and everything.”

10) “The teachers at my college were always very helpful; however, there was one teacher in particular who stood out from all the rest. Her name was Mrs. Middleton. She was always late to class and extremely messy; however, she would make up for it by being the most interesting teacher I had ever had. Whenever her class came, there was never a dull moment.”

Using quotes

Quotes are a great way of starting an essay because they show your audience how credible you are as a writer. Through them, you can also show your audience that you want to use credible sources.

Here is an example of a good quote introduction:

11)” “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” John F. Kennedy – a famous American president, 17th of November, 1960″ It’s hard to imagine that freedom and democracy first started centuries ago in ancient Greece. We’re free to say what we want, do what we want, buy whatever we want, and even start a business of our own.

12)” “Those born into poverty die without ever knowing anything else” taken from The Women Who Would Be Queen by Linda Grant.” The subject of this book is the American society. It tells us a story about women born to low-income families but still decided to do something with their lives. They weren’t afraid of taking risks and worked very hard to achieve what they deserved.

13)” “Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!” – Mother Teresa” Human beings are often underestimated. This is because the media makes us believe that everyone around us has it better than we do. However, this is not true. People out there have a third of what they need and are willing to share with others.

You may also be interested in SAT examples

Use of vivid imagery

Your essay is much easier to read when you use vivid imagery. It not only makes your content better, but it also helps the reader to understand what you are trying to say. Not to mention that they add color and depth to your writing style.

14) “He was sitting in his wheelchair staring out of the window with a slight smile on his face. His body looked so frail that it made me want to cry. It reminded me of a small tree that had been uprooted from its roots and was now exposed to the rage of mother nature.”

15) “The smell was like a combination of alcohol, vomit, and sweat all mixed into one. Everyone in the room knew that they didn’t need to be there, but it was the only place where no one judged them. This is why everyone kept coming back.”

16) “I remember that day like it was yesterday. The sun had just come up, and the rays were shining through my bedroom window. The smell of fresh air filled the room with the warmth of a summer’s day, and I could hear the birds chirping in a nearby tree…”

Use of compare and contrast technique

Using compare and contrast technique can be very effective in an introduction. It gives you the chance to set a standard for what will be written about later in your essay.

Here are some good examples:

17)” America has always been much more liberal than Britain when it comes to sexuality. Compared to America, Britain is much more conservative. Homosexuality is still illegal in Britain, while it has been legal since 2003 in America. Women are expected not to be sexually promiscuous in Britain, while in America, it’s completely fine to sleep around.”

18) “Facebook and LinkedIn are both social media sites. However, there are many major differences. For example, LinkedIn is mostly used for professional communication, while Facebook is used for personal communication. Facebook being so big has the advantage of having more people to communicate with, but LinkedIn is easier to use and a lot more personal.”

19) “I prefer to live in a city than in the countryside. This is because cities give you a chance to meet lots of new people and learn about their cultural background. The only thing that makes me feel uncomfortable is the lack of nature.”

Using shocking facts

This is something that can be very beneficial to your writing style, especially if you have passionate feelings about a specific subject. It can take the introduction in an unexpected way and present information and facts that readers might not know exist.

20) “It is estimated that over 30 million people suffer from eating disorders in the US alone. This number has grown exponentially over the past 40 years. Some of those suffering have turned to social media for help and support. However, the focus in these online communities has moved away from recovery to self-promotion and vanity.”

21) “In England, abortion is legal up until 24 weeks. After that period, a pregnancy can be terminated if there are serious fetal abnormalities or risks to the woman’s mental health. Each year over 190,000 women have abortions in Britain, which is equivalent to about one-third of all pregnancies.”

22) “It is estimated that around three percent of boys and two percent of girls have an Autism Spectrum Disorder. These numbers may not seem much, but they are a lot higher than previously believed. What makes these disorders even more worrying is the fact that there are a growing number of children being diagnosed with Autism.”

Use of questions

Questions are a very good introduction technique. Usually, they can help engage and hook your reader’s interest. For example:

23) “What is the best age to get married? Marriage is a very important thing. Not many people are aware of this, but the right age to get married can greatly impact your life. It is one decision that can change your life forever, so it should be well thought out.”

24) “What makes you happy? Happiness is something that everyone wants to achieve. We all want to feel and experience it in our lives. What makes us happy differs from person to person. They are a lot of different things: love, success, knowledge, the list goes on.”

25) “What can I do to be successful? Success is what everyone strives for. Some people want it in a short amount of time, others gradually over a much longer period of time. In this essay, we’re going to look at how you can achieve success in your life.”

Emotional sentence

This sort of introduction is usually very effective because it can open up a line of thought that will make your reader feel sympathy for the writer. It has also been proven that emotional sentences are more likely to keep your readers interest in what they’re reading. Here are examples:

25) “My grandmother never taught me how to cook. She said that men were supposed to take care of women, and society expects women to be able to do these things themselves.”

26) “I want an education so that I can get a good job and earn enough money for my family, but my parents disagree with me. They say that it is unnecessary for the woman in the family to have an education. It is also not a priority for them.”

27) “I don’t like my brother’s girlfriend. I guess she just seems too controlling for her own good.”

Use of adjectives and adverbs

An effective way to keep your reader engaged in your writing is by using adjectives and adverbs effectively. For example:

28) “I’ve always hated school. It’s just a never-ending cycle of meaningless assignments that I do not care about.”

29) “After the big earthquake, people came together to help each other in any way they could. They banded together and helped those affected in every single way imaginable. They were always on the lookout for dangerous aftershocks and were always listening out for any news about people trapped under rubble.”

30) “Stress is a very serious topic. It can destroy your life if you’re not careful. I’m going to talk about what stress is, how it affects us, and what we can do about it.”

Getting personal

Sometimes, it can be a very good idea to make your introduction personal. For example:

31) “I agreed with my aunt and cousin that we should all go to the beach together. At first, I thought it was a great idea because I really enjoyed spending time with them, but then they started talking about what swimsuit they were going to wear, and I wanted to run away.”

32) “I have always been a big fan of Harry Potter. In my teenage years, I’d read all of the books many times over!”

33) “When my friends and I would talk about school, we were not usually happy with what we had to say. For one thing, the teachers were often no help at all. They never seemed to want to help us figure out what we needed, and they were always telling us how bad our grades were.”

Use of metaphors and similes

Using metaphors may be a good idea if you want your reader to understand what you’re writing. Similes are also great because they can help you make comparisons that the reader can relate to. For example:

34) “Sometimes I feel like I’m in a huge war all on my own. It’s like I’m under constant attack. My enemy isn’t really clear, except that it seems to be coming from every single side at the same time.”

35) “I can’t understand why some people stay in jobs they don’t like. Sometimes you have to do something that you’re not comfortable with if you want to get ahead. You have to take risks.”

36) “Baseball is like a religion in America. People worship players as if they were gods and millions of fans come out every year to watch them play. It’s something that you have to respect, even though it may seem a little overboard.”

Using surprising information

A rather unique way to start an essay is by using information that most people wouldn’t expect. It could detail about yourself, or it could be something very specific about the topic of your essay. For example:

37) “I used to love playing ice hockey. There was just something so satisfying about being able to hit the puck with your hockey stick and then get into position to watch it sail right past the goalie.”

38) “When I was born, my parents were really young. They weren’t even twenty-one years old yet when they had me!”

39) “After reading a book recently about World War II, I’ve realized that these events can potentially have an impact on each and every one of us for decades to come. They can leave scars that remain in our society for many years after they are over.”

Using special words and phrases

Sometimes, the most effective way to get your reader interested in what you have to say is by using special words or phrases that many people wouldn’t usually use. For example:

40) “I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I think it would be fascinating to write novels that can help influence others.”

41) “I think that gardening is a great hobby for children to have. It’s interesting to see them learn about plants and how to take care of them.”

42) “Whenever it gets really cold outside, people in my neighborhood all get together at the local library and form groups around their favorite activity. We’re like little families!”

Common Mistakes People Make when Writing Introductions:

• Not making a clear statement about your subject (e.g., not giving the reader an idea of what kind of essay they are going to read).

• It’s long and boring, so it doesn’t grab people’s attention and make them want to read the rest of your paper.

• Your opening sentence is unclear or confusing.

• It has no point to it, or it’s not connected with the rest of your writing.

• Your thesis statement does not reflect what you are going to discuss in this essay, or it doesn’t give an idea about what you want your reader to believe in.

You may also check how to begin a “Why this College” essay

How to Write a Good Essay

Good essay writing takes a lot of time and effort. Personally, I have always been satisfied with the results of my work. But it’s not enough just to write an essay, you need to know how to get feedback on it and improve your skills even further.

Good essays start with choosing a great topic . It’s not easy to find a fresh idea. You may use a couple of resources. They will help you discover some new and exciting ideas. When you’ve found something that sparks your interest, read as much material on the subject as possible. It is always better to write about something familiar.

After you’ve got some information on the subject of your essay:

• Write down all the things that you want to include in your work.
• As soon as possible, structure these points into paragraphs .
• Check if there are any necessary additions or corrections.

A general outline of an essay

Outlining your essay is the next important step. It will help you to see if your points are coherent and not related to each other. You can use various structures for outlining your work: thesis-support, compare-contrast, problem-solution, chain of events (storyline), definition of a term, and so on.

Thesis-support outline

This is one of the most popular structures for writing an essay. It’s based on the construction of a thesis statement and supporting evidence. Examples of such statements are “the weather is fine” or “technology has changed human life.” The main method for creating a thesis statement is to create a compound sentence that will include two different viewpoints :

a) the negative;

b) the positive.

The following statement is an example of a thesis-support outline: “The media has negative and positive effects on young people.” In this case, you can use different examples to support your viewpoint, like violence in movies or the pros of social networks. That’s why it’s important to choose an appropriate topic for your work.

The compare-contrast outline

This structure is based on comparing and contrasting two different things or three similar ones. It can be used to describe different aspects of the same thing: for example, people in the world, fashion styles. The best examples are “American and British English” or “the cat and the mouse.”

The problem-solution outline

This structure is most often applied in scientific papers. The main idea of such kinds of essays is to state the main problem and offer a solution for it. By this means, you can focus on your writing skills and clarify your point of view, if any. For example, a statement like “homeless people don’t have enough money” may be followed by “the government should make more public shelters.”

A chain of events outline

This structure is based on creating a story, which will include one or several steps. The beginning and the end can illustrate some final idea or thesis statement. It’s an effective way to tell your reader about something and make them feel involved in your story.

General format of an outline

The basic format of an outline is:

The introduction

Body paragraphs

conclusion.

The introduction is the first paragraph of your essay. It’s a good idea to make it an attention-grabber so that readers don’t hesitate to continue reading your work. You must present your topic clearly and as easily as possible. The last sentence should be about the main idea of the work or thesis statement.

The main part of an essay is the body. Its purpose is to describe different aspects and dimensions of your topic. Use the following things to create your paragraphs:

· Introductory sentence- It should contain the topic of your paragraph, a thesis statement, and a transition.

· Body sentences – These are the supporting sentences. They should prove your thesis or describe a specific aspect of the topic. Each sentence must have its significance in the overall context.

· Concluding sentence – It’s important to make it an appropriate conclusion of your paragraph. It should be similar to the introductory one.

The last paragraph of an essay is named “conclusion.” Its main purpose is to state your opinion or recommendation on a particular issue. You must be careful with it and make sure that you don’t contradict yourself in any way. Here are some things you can use for creating a conclusion:

· Restatement of your thesis – You can repeat your main idea differently or use it for the main sentence of a concluding paragraph.

· Summarizing statement – If you think that there is no need to restate your thesis again, you can make a summary instead, which will be a brief retelling of your main idea.

· The future tense – Sometimes, you can use the future tense to imply what needs to be done in this or that sphere. For example, “Technology will develop further; researchers will find a cure for cancer.”

These are the basic elements of an outline. In general, it’s important to follow a structure and use the right words.

Essay Writing Tips

The most important thing when writing an essay is to follow a structure and make sure that all your paragraphs are coherent with each other. Other tips are:

· Planning – It makes your work much easier to write and finalize. You should be able to control the general idea, so planning will help you start right away.

· Grammar – It’s important to know its basics and check all your content for any mistakes . After all, you will be able to deliver the message clearly and accurately.

· Thesis statement – This statement should reflect the main idea of an essay and make a clear point about the subject at hand. It’s good to develop it further in the body paragraphs.

· Word choice – Choose your words wisely and always check if they sound clear and easy to understand. Avoid using complicated sentences or phrases, but be concise and ensure you don’t waste any words.

· Accuracy – Don’t forget that essays are quite different from creative writing. They should be as accurate as possible, so make sure that you have all the necessary facts and ideas before you begin to write.

You may also want to check various speech topics, such as demonstration speech topic

Getting help with writing essays

The best way to make sure your essay introduction is done the right way, the first time, is to find somebody who can help you with this sort of task. There are two things you should always keep in mind when looking for a good essay helper:

1) They need to have experience writing and editing term papers. This means that they have to be professionals in their field.

2) They have to know what your teacher wants you to write and how they want the introduction written. Therefore, they will have absolutely no problem fully understanding an assignment and doing everything exactly according to your preferences and instructions.

Our writers have all these qualities, and you may try our services by click here.

How to pick a good custom essay writer

When you’re picking a custom essay writer, there are some things that you have to keep in mind. For example:

Budget-friendly options

You have to know about essay writers who will not overcharge you for their services. Of course, everybody wants quality writing and affordable prices at the same time! Be it a high school essay or an MBA application essay, the price shouldn’t be too high. Thus, you should pick custom writing services that won’t make you feel ripped off after paying for their services.

Deadlines and quality of writing

Another important aspect to consider is the deadlines these essay writing services give their customers. Some places may promise you a deadline but won’t deliver on time, while others will not even bother giving you an exact date. Let them know that your essay has to be in by a certain date (or if it already is, let them know so they can stop working on it). If something goes wrong with the writing process, contact your writer and let them know about it. You should always get what you have paid for.

Writing styles and quality of service .

You should also find a custom writing service with many authors who can do their job in different ways. For example, some writers provide in-depth research papers, while others like to focus on a specific area (e.g., literature). Just browse through their samples and make sure that you can see the kind of writing they do.

Customer services support

When you are getting a paper from a professional writer, there should always be someone who will help you with your essay. For example, it’s okay to ask where you can find more information about how much an essay will cost. It’s also okay to ask if your teacher will accept the essay you have ordered on a certain topic. The best custom writing services will always offer their clients some support. You should always get answers from your customer service representative when you call or email them with questions or remarks about an order.

Recommendations

Finally, make sure you read reviews about the custom writing service you’re going to use: that way, you’ll know whether or not it’s worth paying for their services.

When it comes to choosing a professional essay writer, there are many things you need to be aware of and take into consideration. Do your homework before committing to any particular website, and avoid dealing with unreliable custom writing services.

You can find some reviews about essay writers on the web: just check out their testimonials and see whether or not they seem legitimate. You’ll also have to make sure your writer understands what you need. We also have a list of top writers !

The introduction paragraph is the most important part of your essay. It should not be underestimated, as it is necessary to hook readers on what will come next in a convincing way that makes them want to read more.

Therefore, it is very important to avoid common mistakes, or misinterpretations students often make when writing their introduction. The purpose of this post was to help you understand the paragraph and use it in such a way that it makes a good first impression on readers so that they are motivated to read more.

If you can do all of these things, you will be able to write a proper introduction for your essay that will lead to more positive results. If you still do not know where to start, click the green button below and leave it to our writers!

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Argumentative Essay Writing

Argumentative Essay Examples

Best Argumentative Essay Examples for Your Help

Published on: Mar 10, 2023

Last updated on: Jan 30, 2024

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Argumentative essays are one of the most common types of essay writing. Students are assigned to write such essays very frequently.

Despite being assigned so frequently, students still find it hard to write a good argumentative essay .

There are certain things that one needs to follow to write a good argumentative essay. The first thing is to choose an effective and interesting topic. Use all possible sources to dig out the best topic.

Afterward, the student should choose the model that they would follow to write this type of essay. Follow the steps of the chosen model and start writing the essay.

The models for writing an argumentative essay are the classical model, the Rogerian model, and the Toulmin model.

To make sure that you write a good argumentative essay, read the different types of examples mentioned in this blog.

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Good Argumentative Essay Examples

Argumentative essays are an inevitable part of academic life. To write a good argumentative essay, you need to see a few good examples of this type of essay.

To analyze whether the example is good to take help from or not. You need to look for a few things in it.

Make sure it follows one specific model and has an introductory paragraph, organized body paragraphs, and a formal conclusion.

Get More Examples From Our AI Essay Writer

How to Start an Argumentative Essay Example

Learning how to start an argumentative essay example is a tricky thing for beginners. It is quite simple but can be challenging for newbies.   To start an argumentative essay example, you need to write a brief and attractive introduction. It is written to convince the reader and make them understand your point of view .

Add body paragraphs after the introduction to support your thesis statement. Also, use body paragraphs to highlight the strengths and weaknesses of your side of the argument.

Write a formal conclusion for your essay and summarize all the key elements of your essay. Look at the example mentioned below to understand the concept more clearly.

Check out this video for more information!

Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)

Argumentative Essay Example 

Argumentative essays are assigned to university students more often than the students of schools and colleges.

 It involves arguments over vast and sometimes bold topics as well.

For university students, usually, argumentative essay topics are not provided. They are required to search for the topic themselves and write accordingly.

The following examples will give an idea of how university students write argumentative essays.

Argumentative Essay Example for University (PDF)

Argumentative Essay Examples for College

For the college level, it is recommended to use simple language and avoid the use of complex words in essays.

Make sure that using simple language and valid evidence, you support your claim well and make it as convincing as possible

If you are a college student and want to write an argumentative essay, read the examples provided below. Focus on the formatting and the vocabulary used.

Argumentative Essay Example for College (PDF)

College Argumentative Essay Sample (PDF)

Argumentative Essay Examples for Middle School

Being a middle school student, you must be wondering how we write an argumentative essay. And how can you support your argument?

Go through the following examples and hopefully, you will be able to write an effective argumentative essay very easily.

Argumentative Essay Example for Middle School(PDF)

Middle School Argumentative Essay Sample (PDF)

Argumentative Essay Examples for High School

High school students are not very aware of all the skills that are needed to write research papers and essays. 

Especially, when it comes to argumentative essays, it becomes quite a challenge for high schools to defend their argument

In this scenario, the best option is to look into some good examples. Here we have summed up two best examples of argumentative essays for high school students specifically.

Argumentative Essay Example for High School (PDF)

High School Argumentative Essay Sample (PDF)

Argumentative Essay Examples for O Level

The course outline for O levels is quite tough. O levels students need to have a good command of the English language and amazing writing skills.

If you are an O-level student, the following examples will guide you on how to write an argumentative essay.

Argumentative Essay Example for O Level (PDF)

Argumentative Essay for O Level Students (PDF)

5-Paragraph Argumentative Essay Examples

A 5-paragraph essay is basically a formatting style for essay writing. It has the following five parts:

• Introduction

In the introduction, the writer introduces the topic and provides a glance at the collected data to support the main argument.

• Body paragraph 1

The first body paragraph discusses the first and most important point related to the argument. It starts with a topic sentence and has all the factual data to make the argument convincing.

• Body paragraph 2

The second body paragraph mentions the second most important element of the argument. A topic sentence is used to start these paragraphs. It gives the idea of the point that will discuss in the following paragraph.

• Body paragraph 3

The third paragraph discusses all the miscellaneous points. Also, it uses a transitional sentence at the end to show a relation to the conclusion.

The conclusion of a five-paragraph essay reiterates all the major elements of an argumentative essay. It also restates the thesis statement using a more convincing choice of words.

Look at the example below to see how a well-written five-paragraph essay looks like

5 Paragraph Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)

Argumentative Essay Examples for 6th Grade

Students in 6th grade are at a point where they are learning new things every day. 

Writing an argumentative essay is an interesting activity for them as they like to convince people of their point of view.

Argumentative essays written at such levels are very simple but well convincing. 

The following example will give you more detail on how a 6th-grade student should write an argumentative essay.

6th Grade Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)

Argumentative Essay Examples for 7th Grade

There is not much difference between a 6th-grade and a 7th-grade student. Both of them are enhancing their writing and academic skills.

Here is another example to help you with writing an effective argumentative essay.

7th Grade Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)

Tough Essay Due? Hire a Writer!

Short Argumentative Essay Examples

For an argumentative essay, there is no specific limit for the word count. It only has to convince the readers and pass on the knowledge of the writer to the intended audience.

It can be short or detailed. It would be considered valid as far as it has an argument involved in it.

Following is an example of a short argumentative essay example

Short Argumentative Essay Example (PDF)

Immigration Argumentative Essay Examples

Immigration is a hot topic for a very long time now. People have different opinions regarding this issue.

Where there is more than one opinion, an argumentative essay can be written on that topic. The following are examples of argumentative essays on immigration.

Read them and try to understand how an effective argumentative essay is written on such a topic.

Argumentative Essay Example on Immigration (PDF)

Argumentative Essay Sample on Immigration (PDF)

Writing essays is usually a tiring and time-consuming assignment to do. Students already have a bunch of assignments for other subjects to complete. In this situation, asking for help from professional writers is the best choice.

If you are still in need of assistance, our essay writer AI can help you create a compelling essay that presents your argument clearly and effectively. 

With our argumentative essay writing service, you will enjoy perks like expert guidance, unlimited revisions, and helpful customer support. Let our essay writer help you make an impact with your essay on global warming today! 

Place your order with our college essay writing service today!

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 7 types of arguments.

The seven types of arguments are as follows:

• Statistical

What is the structure of an argument?

The structure of an argument consists of a main point (thesis statement) that is supported by evidence. 

This evidence can include facts, statistics, examples, and other forms of data that help to prove or disprove the thesis statement. 

After providing the evidence, arguments also often include a conclusion that summarizes the main points made throughout the argument.

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• 40 Useful Words and Phrases for Top-Notch Essays

To be truly brilliant, an essay needs to utilise the right language. You could make a great point, but if it’s not intelligently articulated, you almost needn’t have bothered.

Developing the language skills to build an argument and to write persuasively is crucial if you’re to write outstanding essays every time. In this article, we’re going to equip you with the words and phrases you need to write a top-notch essay, along with examples of how to utilise them.

It’s by no means an exhaustive list, and there will often be other ways of using the words and phrases we describe that we won’t have room to include, but there should be more than enough below to help you make an instant improvement to your essay-writing skills.

If you’re interested in developing your language and persuasive skills, Oxford Royale offers summer courses at its Oxford Summer School , Cambridge Summer School , London Summer School , San Francisco Summer School and Yale Summer School . You can study courses to learn english , prepare for careers in law , medicine , business , engineering and leadership.

General explaining

Let’s start by looking at language for general explanations of complex points.

1. In order to

Usage: “In order to” can be used to introduce an explanation for the purpose of an argument. Example: “In order to understand X, we need first to understand Y.”

2. In other words

Usage: Use “in other words” when you want to express something in a different way (more simply), to make it easier to understand, or to emphasise or expand on a point. Example: “Frogs are amphibians. In other words, they live on the land and in the water.”

3. To put it another way

Usage: This phrase is another way of saying “in other words”, and can be used in particularly complex points, when you feel that an alternative way of wording a problem may help the reader achieve a better understanding of its significance. Example: “Plants rely on photosynthesis. To put it another way, they will die without the sun.”

4. That is to say

Usage: “That is” and “that is to say” can be used to add further detail to your explanation, or to be more precise. Example: “Whales are mammals. That is to say, they must breathe air.”

5. To that end

Usage: Use “to that end” or “to this end” in a similar way to “in order to” or “so”. Example: “Zoologists have long sought to understand how animals communicate with each other. To that end, a new study has been launched that looks at elephant sounds and their possible meanings.”

Adding additional information to support a point

Students often make the mistake of using synonyms of “and” each time they want to add further information in support of a point they’re making, or to build an argument . Here are some cleverer ways of doing this.

6. Moreover

Usage: Employ “moreover” at the start of a sentence to add extra information in support of a point you’re making. Example: “Moreover, the results of a recent piece of research provide compelling evidence in support of…”

7. Furthermore

Usage:This is also generally used at the start of a sentence, to add extra information. Example: “Furthermore, there is evidence to suggest that…”

8. What’s more

Usage: This is used in the same way as “moreover” and “furthermore”. Example: “What’s more, this isn’t the only evidence that supports this hypothesis.”

9. Likewise

Usage: Use “likewise” when you want to talk about something that agrees with what you’ve just mentioned. Example: “Scholar A believes X. Likewise, Scholar B argues compellingly in favour of this point of view.”

10. Similarly

Usage: Use “similarly” in the same way as “likewise”. Example: “Audiences at the time reacted with shock to Beethoven’s new work, because it was very different to what they were used to. Similarly, we have a tendency to react with surprise to the unfamiliar.”

11. Another key thing to remember

Usage: Use the phrase “another key point to remember” or “another key fact to remember” to introduce additional facts without using the word “also”. Example: “As a Romantic, Blake was a proponent of a closer relationship between humans and nature. Another key point to remember is that Blake was writing during the Industrial Revolution, which had a major impact on the world around him.”

12. As well as

Usage: Use “as well as” instead of “also” or “and”. Example: “Scholar A argued that this was due to X, as well as Y.”

13. Not only… but also

Usage: This wording is used to add an extra piece of information, often something that’s in some way more surprising or unexpected than the first piece of information. Example: “Not only did Edmund Hillary have the honour of being the first to reach the summit of Everest, but he was also appointed Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire.”

14. Coupled with

Usage: Used when considering two or more arguments at a time. Example: “Coupled with the literary evidence, the statistics paint a compelling view of…”

15. Firstly, secondly, thirdly…

Usage: This can be used to structure an argument, presenting facts clearly one after the other. Example: “There are many points in support of this view. Firstly, X. Secondly, Y. And thirdly, Z.

16. Not to mention/to say nothing of

Usage: “Not to mention” and “to say nothing of” can be used to add extra information with a bit of emphasis. Example: “The war caused unprecedented suffering to millions of people, not to mention its impact on the country’s economy.”

Words and phrases for demonstrating contrast

When you’re developing an argument, you will often need to present contrasting or opposing opinions or evidence – “it could show this, but it could also show this”, or “X says this, but Y disagrees”. This section covers words you can use instead of the “but” in these examples, to make your writing sound more intelligent and interesting.

17. However

Usage: Use “however” to introduce a point that disagrees with what you’ve just said. Example: “Scholar A thinks this. However, Scholar B reached a different conclusion.”

18. On the other hand

Usage: Usage of this phrase includes introducing a contrasting interpretation of the same piece of evidence, a different piece of evidence that suggests something else, or an opposing opinion. Example: “The historical evidence appears to suggest a clear-cut situation. On the other hand, the archaeological evidence presents a somewhat less straightforward picture of what happened that day.”

19. Having said that

Usage: Used in a similar manner to “on the other hand” or “but”. Example: “The historians are unanimous in telling us X, an agreement that suggests that this version of events must be an accurate account. Having said that, the archaeology tells a different story.”

20. By contrast/in comparison

Usage: Use “by contrast” or “in comparison” when you’re comparing and contrasting pieces of evidence. Example: “Scholar A’s opinion, then, is based on insufficient evidence. By contrast, Scholar B’s opinion seems more plausible.”

21. Then again

Usage: Use this to cast doubt on an assertion. Example: “Writer A asserts that this was the reason for what happened. Then again, it’s possible that he was being paid to say this.”

22. That said

Usage: This is used in the same way as “then again”. Example: “The evidence ostensibly appears to point to this conclusion. That said, much of the evidence is unreliable at best.”

Usage: Use this when you want to introduce a contrasting idea. Example: “Much of scholarship has focused on this evidence. Yet not everyone agrees that this is the most important aspect of the situation.”

Adding a proviso or acknowledging reservations

Sometimes, you may need to acknowledge a shortfalling in a piece of evidence, or add a proviso. Here are some ways of doing so.

24. Despite this

Usage: Use “despite this” or “in spite of this” when you want to outline a point that stands regardless of a shortfalling in the evidence. Example: “The sample size was small, but the results were important despite this.”

25. With this in mind

Usage: Use this when you want your reader to consider a point in the knowledge of something else. Example: “We’ve seen that the methods used in the 19th century study did not always live up to the rigorous standards expected in scientific research today, which makes it difficult to draw definite conclusions. With this in mind, let’s look at a more recent study to see how the results compare.”

26. Provided that

Usage: This means “on condition that”. You can also say “providing that” or just “providing” to mean the same thing. Example: “We may use this as evidence to support our argument, provided that we bear in mind the limitations of the methods used to obtain it.”

27. In view of/in light of

Usage: These phrases are used when something has shed light on something else. Example: “In light of the evidence from the 2013 study, we have a better understanding of…”

28. Nonetheless

Usage: This is similar to “despite this”. Example: “The study had its limitations, but it was nonetheless groundbreaking for its day.”

29. Nevertheless

Usage: This is the same as “nonetheless”. Example: “The study was flawed, but it was important nevertheless.”

30. Notwithstanding

Usage: This is another way of saying “nonetheless”. Example: “Notwithstanding the limitations of the methodology used, it was an important study in the development of how we view the workings of the human mind.”

Giving examples

Good essays always back up points with examples, but it’s going to get boring if you use the expression “for example” every time. Here are a couple of other ways of saying the same thing.

31. For instance

Example: “Some birds migrate to avoid harsher winter climates. Swallows, for instance, leave the UK in early winter and fly south…”

32. To give an illustration

Example: “To give an illustration of what I mean, let’s look at the case of…”

Signifying importance

When you want to demonstrate that a point is particularly important, there are several ways of highlighting it as such.

33. Significantly

Usage: Used to introduce a point that is loaded with meaning that might not be immediately apparent. Example: “Significantly, Tacitus omits to tell us the kind of gossip prevalent in Suetonius’ accounts of the same period.”

34. Notably

Usage: This can be used to mean “significantly” (as above), and it can also be used interchangeably with “in particular” (the example below demonstrates the first of these ways of using it). Example: “Actual figures are notably absent from Scholar A’s analysis.”

35. Importantly

Usage: Use “importantly” interchangeably with “significantly”. Example: “Importantly, Scholar A was being employed by X when he wrote this work, and was presumably therefore under pressure to portray the situation more favourably than he perhaps might otherwise have done.”

Summarising

You’ve almost made it to the end of the essay, but your work isn’t over yet. You need to end by wrapping up everything you’ve talked about, showing that you’ve considered the arguments on both sides and reached the most likely conclusion. Here are some words and phrases to help you.

36. In conclusion

Usage: Typically used to introduce the concluding paragraph or sentence of an essay, summarising what you’ve discussed in a broad overview. Example: “In conclusion, the evidence points almost exclusively to Argument A.”

37. Above all

Usage: Used to signify what you believe to be the most significant point, and the main takeaway from the essay. Example: “Above all, it seems pertinent to remember that…”

38. Persuasive

Usage: This is a useful word to use when summarising which argument you find most convincing. Example: “Scholar A’s point – that Constanze Mozart was motivated by financial gain – seems to me to be the most persuasive argument for her actions following Mozart’s death.”

39. Compelling

Usage: Use in the same way as “persuasive” above. Example: “The most compelling argument is presented by Scholar A.”

40. All things considered

Usage: This means “taking everything into account”. Example: “All things considered, it seems reasonable to assume that…”

How many of these words and phrases will you get into your next essay? And are any of your favourite essay terms missing from our list? Let us know in the comments below, or get in touch here to find out more about courses that can help you with your essays.

At Oxford Royale Academy, we offer a number of  summer school courses for young people who are keen to improve their essay writing skills. Click here to apply for one of our courses today, including law , business , medicine  and engineering .

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, 10 sentence essay example.

Hey! My English teacher assigned us a 10-sentence essay and I'm struggling with making my points clear and concise. Can anyone share a good example or some tips on how to write an effective short essay?

Sure! Let's go through an example 10-sentence essay on the topic "The Importance of Time Management for Students." I'll also provide some tips for writing a concise essay along the way.

1. Time management is a vital skill for students, as it helps them balance academics, extracurricular activities, and personal life.

(Tip: Start with a clear and concise topic sentence that introduces the main idea of your essay.)

2. Proper time management enables students to prioritize tasks and allocate appropriate time to each, reducing the risk of procrastination.

(Tip: Use each sentence to present a new point or expand on a previous one.)

3. By creating a schedule, students can allocate specific time blocks for classes, assignments, and breaks, ensuring that no deadline is missed.

(Tip: Be specific while detailing your points, this helps the reader to visualize the scenario.)

4. Time management also allows students to set short and long-term goals, motivating them to work consistently toward their objectives.

(Tip: Show how your main idea is applicable in different contexts or situations.)

5. Moreover, breaking down larger projects into smaller tasks helps students track their progress and tackle complex assignments with more ease.

(Tip: Use transitions like "moreover" to connect your ideas and maintain a good flow.)

6. Finding a balance between academic and personal life is crucial for students' mental well-being, and effective time management can prevent burnout.

(Tip: Highlight the additional benefits of your main idea.)

7. Students who manage their time wisely can also participate in extracurricular activities, expanding their experiences and skillsets.

(Tip: Use concrete examples to further illustrate your points.)

8. Furthermore, using study techniques such as the Pomodoro Technique can help students maximize their productivity during study sessions.

(Tip: Mention popular or widely-used tools related to your topic.)

9. Mastering time management skills early on prepares students for their future careers, as good organization is highly valued in the professional world.

(Tip: Show the long-lasting impact or relevance of your main idea.)

10. In conclusion, time management is essential for students to achieve academic success, maintain a healthy personal life, and develop crucial skills for the future.

(Tip: Finish with a strong and concise concluding sentence that wraps up your key points and restates the main idea.)

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20 Page Essay & Research Paper Examples

What does a 20 page essay look like? Go on reading if you want to know the answer! A 20 page essay word count is 4950 to 5000 words (double-spaced 12 pt.). This is a good size for a graduate-level essay or even for a research paper. There are 50 to 66 paragraphs in a paper of 20 pages.

When thinking of a topic for a 20 page research paper or essay, remember that this is quite a long piece. Your topic shouldn’t sound too simple. The forms of police brutality or the Vietnam War in popular culture are just some of the options.

If you’re looking for 20 page essay examples, you can find them below. We’ve collected a list of papers for you to get inspired. Good luck with your writing!

20-page Essay Examples: 462 Samples

Sikhism: religion and theology.

• Subjects: Religion World Religions
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Education System In Saudi Arabia

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Single Parenthood: History and Economic Implication

• Subjects: Sociological Issues Sociology
• Words: 5423

Does Divorce Have a Greater Impact on Men than on Women in Terms of Depression?

• Subjects: Psychological Issues Psychology
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Rhetorical situations in the Experiences and Goals Letter

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International Marketing Plan for Tata Nano

• Subjects: Business Financial Marketing
• Words: 5299

Operations Management: Oil and Gas

• Subjects: Business Management
• Words: 5397

Marketing in Various Areas

• Words: 5483

SADAFCO Company’s Management and Development

• Subjects: Business Professions
• Words: 5435

Core Beliefs and Practices of Islam

• Words: 5610

Liz Claiborne Inc. and Its Portfolio of Brands

• Subjects: Design Fashion
• Words: 5416

Reinhard Heydrich’s Role in the Holocaust

• Subjects: Nazi Germany Warfare
• Words: 5463

Inflation in Saudi Arabia

• Subjects: Economics Inflation
• Words: 5524

Marketing Research: Customer Loyalty at Al-Marai Company

• Subjects: Business Marketing
• Words: 4239

Large Animal Rescue Process

• Subjects: Sciences Zoology
• Words: 5477

E-Marketing For Small Businesses

• Words: 5401

How to Resolve Conflict in Workplace Essay

• Words: 5100

Global Finance Inc.: Assets Risks and Mitigation

• Subjects: Cyber Security Tech & Engineering
• Words: 5340

Leadership and Motivation Theories, Principles and Issues

• Subjects: Business Employees Management
• Words: 5405

Sirius XM Radio

• Subjects: Business Recognizable Brand
• Words: 5535

The Relationship between Stress Management and Criminal Recidivism

• Subjects: Crime Theories Law
• Words: 5398

Delta Corp Ergonomic Factors

• Words: 5467

How Saudi Banks Deal With Money Laundery

• Subjects: Banking Analysis Economics
• Words: 5394

The Death Penalty Debate in the United States of America

• Subjects: Capital Punishment Debates Politics & Government
• Words: 5442

Pentagon 9/11, Actions and Durations

• Subjects: Terrorism Warfare
• Words: 5403

Zamil Air Conditioners (ZAC) strategic analysis

• Subjects: Business Case Study
• Words: 5408

Conflict Resolution Within an Organization

• Subjects: Business Managerial Negotiation
• Words: 5410

Democratization and the Indigenous Languages of Mexico and Venezuela

• Subjects: Languages Linguistics
• Words: 5226

International Marketing Strategy

• Subjects: Business Strategy
• Words: 5507

“The Godfather’s” management

• Subjects: Business Business Ethics
• Words: 5916

Employee Resistance to Change

Imc plan of melo fruitti ice cream report.

• Words: 4551

Marketing analysis of shampoos in the UK market

• Words: 5114

The American Empire’s Public Affairs Strategy

• Subjects: Government Politics & Government
• Words: 5480

Apple Company: Strategic Analysis and Recommendations

• Subjects: Business Company Analysis
• Words: 5402

Greener Pastures

• Words: 5388

Steve Jobs’ Role at Apple

• Words: 5428

Chronicle Gazette: Operational Strategies and Methods

• Words: 5418

Organizational Communication Skills Training Program

• Subjects: Business Global Scale Management
• Words: 5348

Azerbaijan Economy Development

• Subjects: Economic Systems & Principles Economics
• Words: 5167

Fair Trade as an Alternative to Free Trade

• Subjects: Economics Fair Trade

The History of Rice in Japan

• Subjects: Asia History

Child Labour Policies in Business

• Words: 5411

Organisational Issues at Lufthansa Airlines

• Subjects: Business Business Critique
• Words: 4461

Cosmetic Testing on Animals

• Subjects: Animal Rights Sociology
• Words: 3097

Mitigation of Delayed Projects in the UAE

• Words: 5443

Azerbaijan’s Economic, Political and Social Features

• Subjects: Geography Sciences
• Words: 6677

Retail Stores Managerial Aspects

• Subjects: Business Company Structure
• Words: 5431

Reclamation of Grey Water & Refinery Oily Wastewater Using Bioprocesses Treatment

• Subjects: Ecology Environment
• Words: 4693

Is Social Media a Useful Tool for Brand Promotion?

• Subjects: Brand Management Business
• Words: 5392

Japanese Tourism Industry

• Words: 5325

Modern Algeria

• Subjects: Countries Studies Sciences
• Words: 5466

China’s Luxury Car Market

• Subjects: Land Transport Transportation
• Words: 6183

Analytical Information and Facts about Namibia

The effectiveness of training and development on the organisations’ employees in organisational level and worldwide level.

• Words: 5510

Online Retailer-Consumer Relationship

• Subjects: Business E-Commerce
• Words: 5513
• Words: 5363

The Impact of Conditional Cash Transfer programs from a Risk Management Perspective

• Subjects: Economics Microeconomics
• Words: 5336

Tesla Motors Marketing Strategy (2013-2016)

• Words: 5481

Strategic Business Plan for Elite: When Objectives Comply With the Needs of the Market Place

• Subjects: Business International Marketing
• Words: 5521

The effects of radio frequency (MRI)

• Subjects: Health & Medicine Public Health
• Words: 2747

Samsung Marketing Strategy

Resources used in the middle east-human capital and arms importation.

• Words: 5557

Social Marketing

• Words: 5618

Steroid use in professional sports

• Subjects: Sports Sports Culture
• Words: 6178

Telemarketing Scams against the Elderly

• Subjects: Economics Macroeconomics
• Words: 5319

Sexual Harassment and Culture

• Subjects: Gender Studies Sociology
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English that goes straight to the heart

Essay Examples

An essay is a piece of writing that revolves around a particular theme and contains the academic opinions of the person writing it.

An essay can perform one or more of the following functions:

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• Analyses and critically evaluates a topic
• Presents the writer‘s argument for or against an idea
• Describes something
• Narrates a story
• Persuades the reader

To write a good essay you need an Introduction, a Body (Supporting Paragraphs), and a Conclusion. In this post, we have added the top 20 Essay Examples.

Essay Examples #1

Essay on my family (500+ words).

Family is the place where you learn your first lesson in life. Your family members are the only assets that will remain with you forever. Whatever the circumstances, family members are always there for each other to support us. Good values and good morals are always taught in a family.

In the family, we are prepared to respect our elders and love younger ones. We learn lessons consistently from our family, about honesty, dependability, kindness and so on. Although I am a student in my final year, my family always treats me like a child but always provides me with a sensation of so much love and care.

My family is the best family for me. I live in a nuclear family of five members. My father is a teacher. He is the man who heads and leads our family. He brings the family into reality. My father is my hero as he predicts the need of the time and raises his family by bearing all the responsibilities and discharging all the duties for giving a required shape. I respect him for his great deeds.

My father does not force me to go for a career his choice. He does not want that his son should follow only his profession. He wants that his son should go according to his own choice, suitability, and capability. But my father desires his son should go for a better future.

My mother is a housewife as well as a beautician. She is a lovely woman. My mother is everything to me. She is the one who understands me best and most closely. My mother is my co-partner in everyday work and different issues.

My mother was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She is my mother, who shapes me, to become a nobleman through her great, insightful, and elegant activities. My mother motivates me to learn by consenting to the activities which are important for character building and improvement. My mother creates an environment for me to learn enough in a natural manner.

My grandmother is the cutest person of all. In light of her, everybody has to get up early in the morning. She is fond of making sweet dishes and we love what she does. She is a focused woman and because of her everything needs to be in order.

My brother, who is elder than me, is the tallest. He is a Youtuber and is fond of cooking. He loves to play cricket and is a gadget freak. He doesn’t study much but is very sweet and gentlemanly.

I love my family because they are the jewels of my life. They work hard so that we can get anything we desire makes me love and respect my parents considerably more. We play games every night and discuss various topics to spend some quality time together.

I give deep respect and pay the highest regard to my family not just because they are my family, but for their unmatched and incredible sacrifices for me.

Also, Read 6 Types of Essay

Essay Examples #2

Essay on my father (500+ words).

My father is the man who heads and leads our family. He brings the family into reality. But in a real sense, my father predicts the need of the time and raises his family by bearing all the responsibilities and discharging all the duties for giving a required shape. I respect him for his great deeds.

My father is financially weak but fulfils my genuine requirements and guarantees that I should not be a survivor of feelings of inadequacy. My poor father does not hesitate to sweat heavily to enhance his earnings for my sake. He eats a little less but does not think twice about taking care of mine.

My father does not force me to go for a career of my papa’s choice. He does not want that his son should follow only his profession. He wants that his son should go according to his own choice, suitability, and capability. The tradition of specific jobs running in the family is literally dying. A doctor is not wanting his son to be a doctor, a professor is avoiding his profession for his children, an army officer is not forcing his son to join the defence forces, and so on. But my father desires his son should go for a better future.

My Father is a mature and agreeable individual who assists me make important decisions. Like most doting fathers, he plays a very important role in my life helping me build my career as well as resolve my everyday issues too. When I am looking for help and guidance against the odds, I, first of all, approached my father who comes forward leaving all his personal priorities and doing the needful. My father is a person who works tirelessly and makes countless penances to figure out my issues.

My father goes with me in all the activities ensuring my correct moves. He really looks at my problem and moulds me by giving lectures in the series in order to form a lovely sense in my mind. His concern is for my better career. My father is mature enough, knowledgeable, and very much aware of my cutting-edge needs, evaluates my inclination as well as decision, and does all-out efforts to develop me for accomplishing my objective.

My father is educated and has a logical vision. Today, my father has transformed into a trendy dad. His thinking is new which suits the time. He takes full advantage of his knowledge and modernization in raising me suitably and making me capable and confident to confront the competitive life that is prevailing today.

My father as an ideal father makes all efforts to meet my necessities. He would rather not leave any lacuna which may affect my development and career-building process.

We celebrate Father’s Day every year on 19 June to strengthen the relationship and remind a father of the sacrifices he endured towards his kids when they were in need.

It is very important that we should give deep respect and pay the highest regard to our fathers.

Essay Examples #3

Essay on my mother (500+ words).

The moment a child is born, the mother is born as well. When a child gets a sense, it looks up at its mother and starts to follow the mother’s movements. The mind of a child is generally very sharp. It copies the activities of the mother eagerly. Mother takes all the care of her kid from all points like health, dress, diet, entertainment, education, sports, and development of competitive aptitude. The mother attracts the kid through love and affection.

We can describe motherhood in terms of sacrifice. My mother ignores her comforts and works hard for good food, wear, and education for me. It is a natural and noteworthy quality that is wholly found in a mother. My mother bears the responsibility of motherhood not only from a young age, but she remains a trusted adviser throughout my life. It is very important that we should give deep respect and pay the highest regard to our mothers not just because they are mothers, but for their unmatched motherhood and incredible sacrifices towards us.

My mother is everything to me. She is the one who understands me best and most closely. My mother is my co-partner in everyday work and different issues. Sometimes my mother takes on a tremendous amount of responsibility and works under tension, when I need her, to take up its battle, both personally and professionally, to accomplish the troublesome objective in my work or business. We should owe our mothers for their everything.

There is an extraordinary job the mother does in influencing the kid. The foundation made by my mother through affection, persistence, discipline, direction, and tears permits me to cruise upon my ocean. It is my mother, who shapes me, to become a nobleman through her great, insightful, and elegant activities. My mother motivates me to learn by consenting to the activities which are important for character building and improvement. My mother creates an environment for me to learn enough in a natural manner.

Sometimes my mother uses specific hard measures to discipline me and teach me valuable lessons. She denounces me by denying me food. She forbids me to indulge in undesirable activities. Sometimes, she makes the dreaded beating with the rod. She shows her dismay. She warns of the carefulness. But I know, she is very soft from the inside. She is a well-wisher of mine. Her only point is that she needs her child free from inadequacies.

There are some cases when the children especially the individuals who are not depending on their parents and are working away, have forgotten their mothers. They don’t go home for quite a long time but their mothers still pray with all their hearts that they stay blissful and happy. She will ever remain a well-wisher of her children regardless of the circumstances.

It is very important that we should give deep respect and pay the highest regard to our mothers not just because they are mothers, but for their unmatched motherhood and incredible sacrifices towards us.

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Essay Examples #4

Balanced diet essay (500+ words).

People eat junk foods and other unhealthy food items only for taste. They don’t even have time to nourish their bodies with the required diet. A healthy and balanced diet reduces stress and promotes healthy life without suffering. Thus, it stands out of utmost importance to individuals to examine the significance of a healthy body.

A diet that contains all kinds of necessary ingredients in almost the required quantity is called the “Balanced Diet”. A Balanced diet is one that helps to maintain or improve overall health. We should consume a balanced diet consisting of essential nutrition: liquids, adequate proteins, essential fatty acids, vitamins, minerals, and calories. We must eat fresh fruits, salad, green leafy vegetables, milk, egg, yoghurt, etc. on time in order to maintain a healthy body.

Among the minerals, we require chiefly iron, calcium, sodium, potassium, and small quantities of iodine, copper, etc. They are found in green vegetables and most fruits, Vitamins have a number of kinds like A, B, C, D, etc. Vitamin A is found in fish oil, butter, carrot, papaya, etc., and Vitamin B is found in green leafy vegetables, wheat grain, etc. Vitamin C is found in green chilli, green vegetables, amla, lemon, and citric fruits. Vitamin D is found in the first oil, butter, and rays of the sun. We also need Vitamins E and K for our health. Milk is perhaps the only single item that can be called a balanced diet in itself.

Animal protein is found in meats, poultry, and fish. The white of an egg also contains protein. Another kind of protein is found in milk (casein), cheese, curd, pulses, soybean, dry fruits, etc. Fat is found in butter, pork, coconut, all edible oils, cod liver oil, the yolk of an egg, etc.

We should eat only fresh, well-washed and well-cooked food articles which are free from dust and flies. Fried foods and foods containing excess fat, spices, and chillis are harmful. Roadside eating should be avoided. We should take the last meal two or three hours before going to bed. There should be a good time gap between two meals so that the food gets digested in our stomachs.

A healthy body also needs some daily physical activities, proper rest and sleep neatness, a healthy environment, fresh air, and water, personal hygiene, etc. Also, we should drink more water at least 7-8 glasses of water. It balances blood pressure and supplies vital nutrients exceptionally quickly to the body. A fit and healthy individual turns out to be more resistant to infections and diseases.

Wealth matters, but, is not as important as health. Spending lots of money on junk food in five-star hotels or on other entertainment sources like watching films for a day and so on has no advantages other than self-satisfaction. Being physically and mentally healthy helps an individual to be socially and financially healthy as well.

Also, Read Academic Essay

Essay Examples #5

Health is wealth essay (500+ words).

The greatest wealth is our own health. A healthy body can earn great wealth but a wealthy person cannot earn great health.

Man is a reasonable creature. His predominance over different creatures lies in his superior mind. As a matter of fact, man has been able to control nature due to his highly developed brain. But man needs to keep his body and mind fit and healthy. It is said that “A healthy man is a wealthy one”. Regular exercise helps us to keep fit and simultaneously keep an alarm in mind. Good and sound well-being would guarantee an agile and active mind. Just as an individual’s state of mind and feelings are reflected in an individual’s health, a body that is feeble and ill-suited plays devastation on an individual’s psychological prosperity.

Recent studies have shown that the increased stress of the present speedy life is leading to various medical conditions. Major among those are heart and neurological problems. Good health assists an individual to keep a positive attitude toward work and life in general.

Regardless of anything else difficulties and obstacles, we go over, life is intended to be positive and cheerful. To enjoy and appreciate the wonderful things of life we need the energy and zest for life. This can happen only when the body is healthy enough to take on the difficulties of life.

An untalented man can also deal with his occupation through the excellence of his good health. We see a number of people having good physiques working on the farm the entire day by putting their energy into earning bread for themselves and their family members. It gives them mental satisfaction and a night of sound sleep during the night. Not only that a physically strong and intelligent man can stretch out better help to society and gain appreciation from individuals.

We realize that there is value in good health, so it ought to be improved. There are areas where people are badly suffering for want of healthcare centres. The hospitals in many rural areas are running without doctors and medicines. There are people who are suffering from multiple diseases or injuries but are not getting treatment, in the absence of proper medical facilities. The poor people can not afford the treatment after going to big cities. The treatment of major diseases in private hospitals is beyond their reach.

The medic.. facility alone can not solve the issue. There is a requirement for awareness among people for carrying out regular physical exercises to have sound health and efficiency to work. People who are cautious and aware of their health join Gymnasium and Yoga camps. The inspiration will intrigue others to follow these good frameworks for making them disease free and enabling them to enjoy robust health.

If a person can figure out how to free his mind of unhealthy and negative thoughts like self-indulgence, he can stir up the will to improve his body. That will free him of most illnesses that are of psychological origin. When he is on the way to good health, he will encounter a superior mind.

Also, Read Examples of Personal Essay

Essay Examples #6

Importance of history as a subject essay (500 words).

History is a very important and interesting subject. Those who are keen to know about the past events and heroism of great people, generally opt for history. History gives curiosities about the noble deeds of noble people who could make themselves fit to be chosen, by the excellence of their remarkable performance, for a record in the books of history. Such people and their acts, through which they could show wonder, always rouse others to follow. The study of history influences one’s character.

No doubt, the present generation has become materialistic as a result of modern science and very few students are going to study history. Their goal has changed. They are keener to earn more and more money for enjoying lavishly rather than philosophizing about historic events.

The study of history is very important to know about the major events which have happened within the nation and the world. An educated man ought to be aware of significant events of the past. The study of history makes a man savvy on various additional matters like religion, legislative issues, sociology, literature, economics, foreign policies, unity, freedom, trade, commerce, geographical aspects, and various indigenous and foreign races. A number of wars, victories, and treaties, which happened in the past inside the nation and outside, have been kept in the books of history. The reader of history knows all about these occurrences exhaustively after he goes through them.

History features differently. We know from history that in the past this world was a turning chunk of fire and a fragment of the Sun. It solidified after so many years and turned out to be increasingly cool step by step. Then life appeared with creatures, other living things, and plants. They were followed by apes and remote ancestors of man. There are countless different realities and happenings that are contained in the books of history.

History must be studied for many important reasons. Its study increases our understanding of caste, religion, tradition, and customs. Its study clarifies that all were man-made. The fundamental point behind it was to make a framework for work, feeling, and civilization in society. There is no religious sanctity attached to anyone. It is changing with the difference in time.

The study of history teaches us the lesson of courage, determination, and hope. A man may be feeble, however throughout ages, he has struggled against heavy odds and never looked back. He faced many disastrous wars and revolutions, yet, he has advanced. The study of history uncovers us the heroism of the man who empowered him to accomplish so much in different fields.

Now you realize the Importance of History as a Subject. Let us encourage the study of history in our country with a positive and helpful point. Let us arrange the study of history to give courage and strength to our childhood empowering them to grasp the element in it for making good use in building up a strong and prosperous country.

Also, Read Examples of Informative Essay

Essay Examples #7

Value of sports and games essay (500+ words).

Sports and games are as important as food, education, and other essential things for children. Games and sports are significant means of entertainment. Nowadays students are busy with their studies. They have a ton of books and various subjects to study. They need some change, which can be given by sports. The outdoor games and sports revive the students and make them able to regain their lost energy. Sports and games produce mental freshness and the students take an interest to concentrate on studying more.

Sports and games are also extremely valuable for good health. The outdoor games are more helpful, where the students share the company of nature and inhale fresh air. They get a lot of physical exercise while playing games outside on the playground. It keeps them physically and mentally fit. Sports and games make the students dynamic which is vital at that age.

Sports and games teach students the value of discipline, collaboration, leadership, judgment, courage, and determination to win. These things also assist the students to develop their traits of personality, which is very important for developing a talented person.

Sports and games teach them the requirement of sacrifice, discipline, elegance, liberality, and solidness, which enable them to effectively lead life. These characteristics in a man carry superfineness to act effectivity regardless of the circumstance and the task they come across. Citizens with such potential can contribute a lot to society and the country to which they belong.

Games likewise give an outlet to excess fat and weight and keep the students solid and dynamic. This aspect is crucial to keep the students healthy. Sports activities are the best means to utilize time in a positive way. They do not waste their time loitering and going on undesirable activities.

We see that the majority of the great athletes are from western and other developed countries. The reasons are obvious. They play games and sports right from childhood and primary school. India is progressing rapidly. We are now capable of affording expenditure on sports activities right from primary standard to empower us to improve the image of the country in sports.

That can be possible only when the children are provided opportunities right from the beginning. If required sports can be made a compulsory subject and marks can be added to the result, which will attract the students towards hard work with an interest in succeeding in sports. That will make an equation to create an ever-increasing number of athletes. The Government and the school administration have to ensure adequate sports facilities in all the schools and colleges. That will inspire the students to take part with a more prominent interest.

It is very clear that games and sports have extraordinary value in life. The games should be played keeping their nobility in mind. The nobility of the games should be maintained. There is a need to create a sports atmosphere in all the schools and colleges for attracting a maximum number of students to take part in the events.

Essay Examples #8

Essay on science and technology (500+ words).

This is the age of science and technology. Its benefits have arisen as a significant determinant of the wealth and power of the nation. The development of science and technology has significant ramifications on the management of the future pattern of social and economic growth.

In a fast-changing world, the fate of the country can be moulded through our ability to harness modern science and technology, which is a road to boost the development programs of the country.

Rapid technological advances have reduced the dependency on natural resources or the factors in proportion to it. Man is performing precisely by machines with a regular improvement in his work because of quick technological changes by virtue of scientific advancement all around the world.

The foremost important aspect that the world is perceiving today is consistent endeavours to consolidate the gains of science for improving the human condition. Scientific discoveries have to be converted by human efforts into technological innovation which have to be developed to achieve significant improvement in the human condition.

Our agricultural scientists have proactively made an exceptional commitment to giving new innovations for growing the crop with scientific methods, which have developed our national economy and human welfare by empowering ourselves completely independent in food grains. This could be accomplished through related technology and scientific methods by providing machines and developing quality seeds, fertilizers, and insecticides, which are suited to bringing a green revolution to the field of agriculture.

We have accomplished desired scientific and technological advancement and have succeeded in boosting various important national activities like information and telecommunication, television, meteorological services, medical advancement, industrial development, nuclear research, Space Research Oceanographic Research, etc.

Over the years a strong science and technology infrastructure base has been established for giving modern shape to world industries. It covers a chain of laboratories, specialized centres, various academic and research institutes, training centres, and useful development programs, which continuously provide skill, technically trained manpower, and technological support to industries for better execution.

Science has advanced a great deal in the field of medical care. New technology has given a compelling medical care framework at a reasonable cost. The new technology that medical science has invented provides the system, under which critical cases can be handled Confidently for saving human life. Medical research has been carried out, broadly on nutrition, tuberculosis, reproduction, child care, leprosy, drugs, communicable diseases, cholera, and malaria, which has an extremely certain result. Man is in a position today where he can undertake to treat these dreaded diseases according to the new invention which has given an established method of treatment and care.

If we look at the global scenario, the modern world is moving exceptionally fast. There are rapid scientific and technological changes that are occurring in a steady progression. Our country, as a global competitor, in the race of becoming a world power, needs to accomplish more in the area of Science and Technology emphasizing it as its foremost national priority in order to accomplish its objective.

Also, Read Summarizing an Essay

Essay Examples #9

Essay on co education (500 words).

Co-education is a system of education in which boys and girls study together in a common school or college. Co-education was not prevalent in ancient times. It is a groundbreaking thought. The parents supported the case for adequate education for the children irrespective of their sex. The countrymen realized that the boys and girls have to move together and shoulder to shoulder in every walk of life in the free world. They started educating their children in co-educational institutions.

Co-education has various advantages. It is useful in producing a sensation of solidarity and a feeling of equivalent obligation among boys and girls. When young boys and girls come closer to each other, they take more care in understanding each other. That helps in creating a friendly atmosphere between the two. The boys and the girls partake in their joint exercises consistently in schools and universities.

Co-education assists in carrying out a change in society according to the need of modern times. Young boys and girls get the opportunity to blend in with one another frankly and conveniently. They act together on different events and occasions in society. They demonstrate examples of cooperation before individuals, which inspires and produces a healthy spirit of working among the masses.

Co-education produces good citizens who have sufficient quality and development in them. That is a direct result of acquiring various experiences of good and terrible nature during their student life in coeducational institutions. This sort of value in an individual separates him respectably during his further course of life. Such citizens are mostly successful in their work because of their characteristic potentiality and maturity.

Ours is a male-overwhelmed society. There is a sensation of mediocrity among women. There is a need to educate the public opinion that the rights of women and men are equal and that they have an equal role to play in society. Their aim and interest are one, and both the men and the women possess the equal ability to act. The aim should be to remove the feeling of an inferiority complex and bring oneness between the two. That will generate confidence in the female community and will give great working strength to the country.

Co-education is the only answer to this issue. When the boys and the girls live and study together for a long time, the disparity of gender goes off and the feeling of equality is seen apparently among them. By prudence of this improvement, both the young boys and the young girls speed up their working with their equivalent and joint endeavours during their life and accomplish their objectives all the more without any problem.

In a democratic country, women are similarly valuable and can work side by side with men. We can not disregard the significance of women in the current circumstances. As a matter of fact, we need to give equal responsibility to women for taking our country ahead smoothly and making its dream of becoming a world power come true.

Essay Examples #10

Essay on disaster management (500+ words).

Numerous disasters are striking the people and the properties, which are causing great loss and we merely watch helplessly in the absence of prior management planning. Every government is spending immense cash on different issues, yet it is uninterested in chalking out the necessities against anticipated disasters.

Poor disaster management fails in handling the situation during it the happening. That could be checked or the outcomes diminished with earlier preparation and effective disaster management. That management can be trustworthy, which consists of certain essential norms like good training, the latest types of equipment, allocation of responsibilities, alertness, drill to tackle the situation on short notice, fast communication system, economic arrangements, and order of precedence depending upon the situation, security arrangements, adequate medical cover, rehabilitation where applicable and standing orders for essential services like transport, food and supplies, medicines and so on.

There is a necessity to set up teams independently for each anticipated disaster as per the preparation and capacity of the individuals for empowering them to tackle the situation with skill.

The disasters, which are generally occurring are either natural causes or accidental.

Disasters, which are caused due to natural reasons are always wide-ranging and more terrible. It needs greater arrangements by setting up an appropriate establishment and infrastructure. On the other hand, disasters which are caused accidentally need limited arrangements, but the time factor is more important to executing rescue operations in it.

Various other accidental occurrences have been occurring in our nation bringing about enormous disasters. These are chiefly accidents of aeroplanes and buses, blasts in mines, explosions due to mishandling of ammunition scraps, accidents while dealing the nuclear substances and during their disposal, hijacking, etc. There is a necessity to set up disaster management forces, which can manage the circumstances and salvage men and materials as timely as possible.

If we look at developed countries like America, Britain, France, etc, they have previously presented a different subject on disaster management in schools and universities with the aim to train and equip the students for handling emergency situations. There is a necessity to follow a similar arrangement of schooling in other countries for empowering the country to prepare every single resident to face and battle difficulties effectively during any sort of disaster.

As a matter of fact, the students ought to be prepared by training, drill, or practice for growing more certainty to deal with the circumstances in the genuine term on the ground. It is vital in the present life to have precautionary measures and adequate disaster management forces for tackling emergency situations when disasters are on increase due to the virtual effect of the advancement of science.

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Essay Examples #1 1

My native place.

My parents hail from a small village in Kerala which is nestled among mountains in a scenic district of the state. Every year, I visit my native place with my family. It is a trip that I look forward to all year. My father books the ticket two months in advance as it is difficult to procure reservations on short notice. Although I have lived in the city all my life, I feel that I never belonged to it. I have always felt at home in the quaint mountain village that is far removed from the hustle and bustle of city life.

It takes us 18 hours by train to reach the railway station that is closest to my village. The journey is usually gruelling in the summers but very pleasant in the winters and the monsoons. We plan our trip in the summer months since we get a two-month vacation in April. To beat the heat, we travel by air-conditioned coaches every year. We board the train at noon and we reach our destination at 6 am the next day.

The morning air is heavy with the scent of flowers and wet foliage. The temple bells start ringing at 6:30 am and the sound of bhajans fills the air. The village is only a 20-minute rickshaw ride away from the station. When we enter my grandmother‘s house, we are welcomed by her diminutive figure holding a lamp. According to her, it is auspicious to welcome loved ones by lighting the lamp at the altar of God. The moment we set foot into the house, we are filled with a sense of nostalgia and love. After a sumptuous yet simple breakfast, we relax with our family in the courtyard.

The cool mountain air is laden with scents of the rustic countryside. From afar, we hear the sounds of birds. My sister and I make paper boats and run to the little babbling brook that flows southwards. We set the boats on the water and watch them bob up and down. Far away from the world of video games and television, we seek fun in a world of simplicity.

The house itself has a personality. Simple, two-storeyed, made of stone walls and a thatched roof, the house is an old friend who warmly embraces you every time you meet. The rooms are small but well-maintained. On the ground floor is a room that my grandmother uses for storing condiments and grains. It is illuminated with a single light bulb and an old-fashioned lock-and-key style door. In its corner is a small bed. The calming silence of the room soothes my ears and transports me into a magical place. I feel weightless. The smell of spices envelops me.

On many occasions, I have spent hours sprawled on that bed reading a book or listening to music. If I ever have to pick a favourite place, then I have no doubt this would be it. When twilight descends on the little hamlet, large clusters of stars start appearing in the sky. Such a sight is never seen in the city as the lights obscure the stars that appear in the sky. My grandmother lights the lamp again and we all gather around her to say our evening prayers. After enjoying her simple, rustic yet delicious meal, we retire for the night.

Sometimes when I am upset, I think of my quaint little house in the village, my grandmother‘s warm embrace, and the small room that smells of spices. They immediately help me put my worries away and bring a smile to my face.

Essay Examples #12

Conquering my fear.

I am a fairly brave person. I can confidently say that I am the go-to girl if somebody wants to flick a bug away from his or her collar or pacify a growling dog. Sometimes, I have stayed up late at night trying to calm the frayed nerves of a friend a week before the exams. Is there anything that a fairly brave person like me is frightened of? I am afraid, (pun intended) the answer is yes.

From a very young age, I was frightened of water. Picnics on river banks were nightmares. Never did I appreciate the beauty of a setting sun without dreading the rolling waves that crashed against the shore. In clinical terms, I was aquaphobic – someone who had a pathological fear of water bodies.

Was I happy about it? Of course not! I didn’t want to be the one sitting plastic chair when my family enjoyed a game of throwing a ball in the pool. This summer, I swore to myself that I will conquer this irrational fear at any cost. To put my plan into motion, I joined a swimming class. I told my instructor wasn‘t like the other students who have no trouble getting into the water. The fundamental challenge in coaching me is that I had to be coaxed into the water first.

Thankfully, the instructor was a patient person who took me seriously. He asked me to take my time and come back when I had figured out the reason for my fear. It took me a while but I went back when I found out that my phobia stemmed from my fear of drowning. As a child, I was pushed into the water and survived the scary drowning experience. He smiled and said, “Now that you know the reason, let me introduce you to your adversary.” I was about to perform the most daring act of my life, stepping into the pool.

I took my first step and found myself shivering. I immediately retreated. My instructor said benevolently, “Enough for today. Let‘s take baby steps.” The next day I took two steps. Just when I felt the urge to run back, I told myself, “It‘s just water. It will not harm you.” I stayed in the water for full 10 minutes. I repeated the feat the day after and this time, I waded deeper into the water. I never thought I would see this day; here I was, standing in the pool with water that came up to my chest. Across the pool, I heard my instructor applauding.

In the weeks that followed, I was already preparing for my swimming lessons. In a matter of months, I could say that I tamed my bête noir and had become a decent swimmer. I surprised my family by diving into the pool during a family picnic. I could finally see the beauty of the setting sun without worrying about missing my step and falling headfirst into the sea. For me, the greatest victory was challenging the limitations of my own mind and conquering my worst fears.

Also, Read Will Literature Prosper in an Age of Computer?

Essay Examples #13

How to optimise your time as a student.

It is generally believed that students have a lot of free time. They can afford to spend their time without a care in the world and have the liberty to live as they please. Nothing can be further from the truth. Childhood and adolescence are not simply about whiling away time with immature pursuits; those years play a fundamental role in building one‘s ambitions and shaping one‘s career. Students have to juggle their studies along with their social and familial commitments. Some students are naturally attuned to using their time wisely, but some may not be blessed with those skills. To optimize one‘s time, students should discipline themselves by incorporating some time-saving tips.

Being organized is the cardinal rule in saving time. It simplifies one‘s life. Being a student involves extensive perusal and note-making. Students also take down notes in class which is dictated by their teachers. The lazy ones do not keep a track of where these notes are. As the exams are near, such students may find themselves in a chaotic situation. The diligent ones can access all their notes and use them with ease. To save time, students should start by adopting small practices. They could maintain separate notebooks for different subjects and organize notes in a folder that is labelled according to date and subject.

Keeping the right company also matters. Good fruits when left with spoilt ones turn rotten themselves. Similarly, the company of lazy, insincere people can turn any diligent student bad. Good habits, like bad ones, rub off on others. So, students should make a conscious effort to avoid falling into bad company. They should seek out the ones who could instil more discipline into their lives.

Focus on understanding the basics of every subject. The bedrock of the subject lies in its basics. Without it, education will not have a strong foundation. Knowing the basics also helps students in grasping difficult concepts easily. Therefore, students intent on saving time should go back to their textbooks. Prioritizing tasks can help students save time if they are on a tight deadline. Create a timetable by prioritizing the difficult subjects so that more time can be spent on them.

Following these basic rules can help students optimize their time. They needn‘t fret about balancing studies with recreation if they were to make some smart choices.

Essay Examples #14

The process of digestion.

Your digestive system is one of the most wondrous processes in your body. It is uniquely designed to convert your food into nutrients that are needed for your body‘s functioning. If not for the process of digestion, the human body would be deprived of nutrients and may slowly degenerate. Let us learn how it works.

The food which you eat is broken down partially in the mouth. Your saliva aids in the process by making it pliable and breaking down the starch. Your teeth grind the food into a fine paste-like consistency. From the mouth, the food travels through the pharynx to the oesophagus.

The oesophagus is a muscular tube that connects the pharynx to the stomach. The food reaches the stomach using systematic contractions called peristalsis. These contractions facilitate the movement of the food.

Your stomach is the next destination of the food. It is a pouch-like organ that processes food. Here, the food is completely broken down. Powerful muscles of the stomach along with strong gastric juices blend the food into a paste-like consistency. From the stomach, the paste-like mixture moves further down into the small intestine. It has three parts—duodenum, jejunum, and ileum. It is coiled inside the abdominal cavity and can be about 20 feet in length. In the small intestine, the process of breaking down food is continued. Your pancreas and liver supply enzymes and bile, respectively.

Bile helps in the digestion of fat and eliminates the waste products in the blood. Through peristalsis, the food is moved and mixed with the digestive juices. The duodenum breaks down the food, while the jejunum and ileum absorb all the nutrients and release them into the bloodstream. Your colon is a 5-6-foot-long tube that connects the caecum to the rectum. It absorbs all the water in the stools and releases debris and bacteria into the rectum. The residue is passed into the anus, from where it is eliminated as faeces.

In the complicated procedure, all the digestive organs work in unison each fulfilling its duty with precision. Even if one of these procedures fails, your body may stop functioning properly. Such is the beauty of digestion.

Essay Examples #15

Ajji’s treats.

Appetizing foods are those that appeal both to the eyes and the palate. You may have seen on television how great chefs go to any lengths to make sure that the carefully crafted food is aesthetically presented to taste. They meticulously measure the colour, feel, smell, and dimensions of the food when they mount it onto the plate. Whenever I watch such shows, I am reminded of Ajji who had the ability to give any seasoned chef a run for his money.

She never bothered to follow any of the fastidious rules of modern-day chefs or appealingly presented her culinary creations. She did not believe in fussing over how food was presented, but she did believe in how food was cooked.

Ajji‘s food was not attractive to look at. The laddoos were sometimes not round enough. Lumps and chunks would be barely holding onto one other in a hastily crafted sphere. Her Puran polis reminded me of the map of Europe. The dal curry looked pallid without any garnishing. My heart did ache at the sight of rosy basundi served in ugly plastic bowls. Her food was definitely not meant for someone who feasted with his eyes; it was meant to be enjoyed with the soul.

The haphazardly made laddoos were made with so much love that we would not let a crumb go to waste. Her golden Puran polis with jagged edges was filled with a delicious mixture that would melt in your mouth. The fragrance of her pallid dal curry was welcomed into the homes of the neighbours. We joked that the neighbours would be full by the aroma alone.

On special occasions, she made basundi by stirring the milk meticulously for hours. Even though it was served in ugly bowls, we would never pass a chance to enjoy it. Today she is not with us and neither are her recipes. As a token of her love for me, she bequeathed her personal cookbook to me. No matter how well I try to recreate her laddoos, I can never make them look as beautifully lumpy as she did.

Essay Examples #16

How education enriched me.

The importance of education for men and women cannot be understated. It plays a crucial role in the personal development of an individual and enriches the socio-economical fabric of society. Today, education is necessary for success, and each individual is pitched against the other in a bid to outperform one another. Education is something that can give a person the necessary edge over others. It is definitely an instrument of social progress.

Education does not merely end with sending children to school. It is a fire that has to be stoked repeatedly. I was born to intelligent parents who understood the importance of imparting education to children. They not only sent me to a very good school but also whetted my interest in a variety of subjects by buying books and educational toys for me. Games such as Scrabble, Taboo, math puzzles, and the Rubik’s Cube stimulated my brain cells and strengthened my intellectual faculties.

My childhood was spent reading books of all kinds. Exposure to classical works of literature enriched my knowledge of the language. Thanks to my extensive reading, I also possess a very vibrant vocabulary. Encyclopedias on subjects like science and geography made me aware of the basic scientific principles and cultures of people all around the world. History made me realize how human follies can change the course of our progress. Historical figures like Gandhi and Martin Luther King made me understand that social change can be brought about without the need to shed blood.

Math introduced me to the mesmerizing world of numbers. It challenged my mind and made it sharper. Physics, Chemistry, and Biology helped me understand the laws governing the physical world around me. It made me appreciate the universe more. I often ponder how the world as we know it came into being. Though I am left without answers most of the time, I feel fortunate enough to have a mind that can question its own existence. I can weigh my actions morally and assess the repercussions of my words thanks to my education.

Without the benison of education, my life would have been no better than that of an animal. Apart from providing us with the knowledge to get by in life, it makes us rise above our primal tendencies. It expands our worldview and makes us more civilized. Educated people can become the driving force in the success of a nation. Education has made me what I am today. I am thankful that I, unlike many of my countrymen, have been fortunate enough to receive it.

Essay Examples #17

Who are we.

I have always thought about the nature of my existence. What am I? What is my identity? Made of flesh, blood, and a complex system of internal organs, is my body my identity? My countenance expresses my various moods and emotions, is my face my identity? Are my thoughts that make me who I am? We are much more than what we perceive ourselves to be. We need to move beyond the obvious to ponder upon the truth of our existence. Ask yourself, ‘Who am I?’

The Upanishads state, ‘Aham Bhrahmasmi’, meaning ‘I am Brahman’. The term Brahman here does not refer to the caste; it refers to the ultimate truth that underlies all the phenomena in the universe. According to the Vedas, the real self is not the body or the mind. Beyond the realms of the body and the mind is the soul. The soul represents our consciousness; consciousness is nothing but the awareness of the self by the self. It does not arise out of our material interactions.

Physically, we are composed of various elements—oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, etc. These elements constitute our bodies. If so, we are our bodies. What role does consciousness play in our identity?

Consciousness is a difficult term to define or understand. It cannot be explained with the help of numbers or explained with words. We identify ourselves with materials because they pleasure our physical selves. We form attachments for our need to be loved. We form ties that we cannot break free from. This further wedges a gap between us and our consciousness and we lose ourselves in the maze of worldliness.

We should never get distracted from our quest to uncover mysteries about ourselves. Only then will we realize our purpose in the vast system of planets, stars, life, and galaxies.

Essay Examples #18

Next to love, sympathy is the most divine passion.

The word ‘Sympathy’ is derived from the Greek prefix ‘syn’ or ‘sym’ which means together or joint and the root word ‘pathy’ which means to feel. Therefore, sympathy means to have a fellow feeling towards another living thing. It is characterized by the ability to understand the suffering of others and feel sorry for their plight. It is a trait that makes us distinctly human. It sets man apart from the beast; the civilized apart from the uncivilized; and the kind apart from the cruel.

The feeling of sympathy has a role to play in human society. It facilitates bonding between human beings and makes the burden of suffering lighter. Sympathy makes us extend a helping hand to someone in need and fosters a feeling of fellowship. Often the kind words of a stranger, a reassuring embrace of a friend and the patient ears of a dear one take the sting away from our pain.

Sympathy also ensures harmony in society. Apart from the role it plays in abating somebody‘s pain, sympathy also acts as a deterrent against crimes. It prevents us from wrongdoing through the voice of our conscience. Lack of sympathy is the foremost trait of a criminal.

The ability to shed a tear for someone is seen as a sign of weakness by a shallow society. But the perpetrators of this belief often forget that the strongest of individuals sometimes yearn for sympathy. Only hearts as cold as a stone would be devoid of this beautiful emotion since sympathy is a celebration of everything that makes us human.

Essay Examples #19

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

The proverb in its literal sense may seem counterintuitive. Why in the world would anybody want to keep their enemies closer than they keep their friends? The answer to this can be sought in the figurative implications of the proverb. The quote ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer is sometimes attributed to Nicolo Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and even to Don Corleone, the protagonist of the novel The Godfather.

In the heart of the proverb lies the message that one can learn more from enemies than one does from friends. There are many reasons why this proverb holds water.

First, you can learn a lot from someone whom you despise. The best wisdom does not necessarily come from being with friends. A friend is someone who is agreeable and who does not become an obstacle or a threat to your ambitions. Chances are that you and your friend share a similar worldview. He or she is an extension of your own self.

An enemy, on the contrary, is someone who you don’t trust and who is aiming for the same things as you are. They are your opposites. Their ideas, beliefs, and worldviews may be in stark contrast with your own. By observing them, you can get a fresh perspective on a situation that you may not receive from your friends.

To outwit your enemies, you should pay close attention to their moves. This can help you stay ahead of them all the time. Keeping them at close quarters helps you in determining their motives. This helps you in anticipating all their moves.

Your enemy may have a lot of weaknesses that he does not like to bring to the fore. On the outside, he may seem like a formidable foe, but on the inside, he may be hiding some flaws which he does not wish to show the world. Knowing your enemy‘s weakness is the biggest instrument in anybody’s arsenal.

Sometimes, unexpectedly, you may find that your enemy may not be the ‘scheming’ and ‘evil’ villain you have imagined him to be. You may be surprised to find that he shares some of your values as well. An enemy may cease to be an enemy and you may learn to empathize with him/her. Hence, to be successful, you should be able to exploit your friendships and gain wisdom by observing your enemies.

Essay Examples #20

The lazy tiger.

Once upon a time, there lived a tiger. His mother named him Mkali, which means fierce. But that was a misnomer because Mkali was a lazy little cat. Nothing in the jungle could excite him. His mother Jasiri was an expert hunter. She had single-handedly provided for the entire ambush once when food was scarce in the jungle. She had also taught her other children how to prey on hippopotamuses and how to tackle prey with antlers. She was very well respected in the Tiger community and had held the title of ‘Tigress Extraordinaire’.

The carnivores of the jungle sniggered when they spoke of her perpetually sleepy son. “How could he be born to Jasiri?” the Hyena Cheka said. Tiririka the python added, “That boy wouldn’t swat a fly if it were to be sitting on his nose all day.” Mkali was never bothered. He loved his life; lazing around the river all day, returning home for dinner, feasting on the prey his mother had painstakingly caught and then sleeping on the thickest branch of his favourite tree.

One day, the unthinkable happened. Jasiri had cornered a water buffalo and was preparing to strike it down in one swift move. Suddenly, the beast swung its head goring her grievously. Her den was at a distance so she had to drag herself all the way. Mkali wondered why his mother didn’t call him for supper that day.

Once he entered the den, he saw his mother moaning in pain. She said, “Son, I think I am going to die. I don’t know how you would feed yourself.” Mkali’s eyes welled up. He was aware of his prodigal ways, but he didn‘t want to let his mother die thinking that her son could not provide for himself.

Something changed in him that day. He walked to a nearby pool and looked at his own reflection. He saw in himself a fierce tiger who had finally realized his life‘s purpose. He had to make his mother proud.

Mkali started providing for his ailing mother. He hunted small animals first. He then graduated to preying on larger animals such as sambars. He gathered medicinal herbs and ground them. Jasiri’s wounds were very deep, but with Mkali’s loving care she could walk again. The other animals were dumbfounded by his metamorphosis. Jasiri, on the other hand, was proud that her son proved everyone wrong.

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Essay – examples & model answers | B2 First (FCE)

FCE Essay Examples:  Topic (Environment) 

Example exam task:, example answer (grade: 3), example answer:.

I think that my country has problems with pollution to the environment like all other countries. This problem is normal for Russia. We have big problems with transport because there are too much cars in our country. And because of that we have problems with atmospeer, air in my city and in all Russia is really dirty and sometimes I can’t make a sigh because it smells around me and of course around that cars on the road. I’ve heard about tradition of one country. They don’t go anywhere by car one day a month or a year, they just use bycicle or their feet. I think it could be very good if we had a tradition like that.

So, what about the rivers and the seas? Yeah, there are some really good and clean rivers and seas where you can go, but there are not many of them. Once I saw the river OB in my city, it was about two years ago but I stil remember that in some places it was not blue, it was green or purple I didn’t really understand because it had different colours.

I don’t know what should we do. Maybe we should just open our eyes and look what we did. But Russian people don’t care about the world around them many people care only about themselves an that’s all.

So, the best idea is look around and try to do something good for our planet and for us and our children.

FCE, CAE, CPE

Practice, write & improve, examiners comments & grade:, example answer (grade: 3-4).

To begin with pollution and damage to the environment is the most serious and difficult problem for countries of all over the world. Scientists of different countries predict a global ecocatastrophe if people won’t change their attitude to our planet.

First of all a huge damage to the environment brings a transport. People can’t imagine their living without cars, buses, trains, ships and planes. But it’s an open secret that one of disadvantage of these accustomed things is harmful exhaust. Needless to say that use of environment friendly engines helps us to save atmosphere from pollution.

In addition to this our rivers and seas are in not less danger situation. It’s a fact of common knowledge that numerous factories and plants pour off their waste to ponds. Obviously that cleaning manufacturing water helps to avoid extinction of ocean residents.

Apart from this I’m inclined to believe that every person can and must contribute to solving this important problem. Doing a little steps for protection our environment every day we will be able to save our Earth. And it’s a task of each of us.

Model Answer (Grade: 5)

DEVELOPMENT VS ENVIRONMENT

If we surf the web looking for pollution and environmental catastrophes, we will find out that every country in the world suffers them. This is a natural consequence of the struggle between development and environment.

If a country decided to live isolated from the rest of the world, living on what it can naturally grow and produce, it surely wouldn’t be highly polluted. But we all want exotic food and technological items from all over the world, so we have to pay the price.

Investing on electrical transport would benefit the environment a lot. Even more if this electricity came from a natural source of energy like wind, rivers and solar boards. It’s difficult to achieve this because petrol companies will fight against these actions.

We also have to take care of our rivers and seas. We all have heard about factories throwing highly toxic substances to rivers, without minimizing their poisoning effects. A really strict law should be applied to fine these factories and make them change their policy.

But what about ourselves? We also can do a lot! If, when possible, we bought larger packs of food, we would be producing less rubbish. And this is only an example!

FCE Essay Examples: Topic (Fashion) 

In today’s world, the fashion industry has a strong importance in people’s lives. The fashion industry say to the society what to wear and creates new types of clothes all the time.

Some people claim that the fashion industry has a bad effect on people’s lives, they say that the fashion industry creates clothes that the society has to wear. Furthermore, the clothes’ price is extremely high and people, who can’t afford it, should not be in the society.

In the other hand, the fashion industry guide the people to be in a good appearance, because, nowadays, the appearance of the person is more important than the person itself.

In my opinion, the fashion industry doesn’t has a bad influence on people’s lives. It’s something which was created to help people what to wear.

Example Answer (Grade: 4)

Fashion industry is very a discussed subject nowadays: they create and design new clothes everyday in order to satisfy some people needs.

There are many people who claim that the fashion industry is important and good for society. According to them, this industry design beautiful clothes and thanks to that every person can wear shirts, trousers or any acessory which is on today’s fashion.

On the other hand, the fashion industry in some people opinion, controls the market of clothes and because of that they can’t wear what they want to. In addition, the industry can increase the price of clothes, forcing people who don’t want to be “oldfashioned” to buy and pay a large amount of money to keep “beautiful”.

In my opinion, we can’t let the fashion industry decide what we must or musn’t wear. We shouldn’t judge people for its appearance,because that is not important. We must wear whatever we like, want and feel confortable with.

The society we live today is characterised by technology in constant development, fast speed processes, information travelling and getting to people at a blink of an eye and a complex web of social networking. In this context, the fashion industry is becoming increasingly important and having a more and more paramount role in our lives.

On one hand, the fashion industry is undeniably a source of profit and income. It hires millions of people all over the world and generates millions of dollars every year. Furthermore, such profitable business is also believed to be able to spread and make known the culture of a people, encouraging and enhancing a better understanding of each other.

Nevertheless, for those who are neither impressed nor motivated by numbers and figures, the fashion industry is seen as one which segregates people, isolating those who not fit their laws and commands. It is stated that people place too much importance on appearance and the material, world, sadly true, and the fashion industry just spurs on such situation. Moreover, not only are the costs of fashion item unrealistically high, it is thought to be a money better spent on more pressing issues, such as poverty and hunger.

I do believe that the fashion industry, as it is today, has a harmful effect, because it values a minority of people in detriment to the majority. However, it has such a wide reach that, it put into a good use, it can save lives.

FCE Essay Examples: Topic (Languages) 

“There are more reasons to learn a foreign language than to pass a test”

Everything around us revolves around language(s), it is the most important thing in our lives. Society would just not function without it. They are It is our future and I would personaly love to learn as many as I possibly can.

Not everything in life is done because it is necessary. Learning a new language can be a lot of fun. Many people only do it as a hoby, or their knowledge is something that brings them pride and pleasure.

Secondly, we have people who do it simply to challenge themselves. Truly I believe that having a great outcome that stems from your hard work and dedication to learn something new is a wonderful way to challenge prove your ability to yourself and others. Then there is travelling. It is very important to be able to understand and have a conversation with someone abroad, unless you would like to get lost or worse.

To conclude, I think that learning a new language is an amazing thing no matter why you do it. It is always better to do things out of enjoyment, but even if you do it for a test, that knowledge will always be useful.

Learning a a foreign languages is very important nowadays. English, in particular, is essential because it allows is spoken all over the world. That’s the reason why we start studying it from the age of six years old. Going abroad and being able to speak to native people is very satisfying and that’s why I want to improve my knowledge about foreign languages.

I decided to take this exam to know how high my level of English is, but also because I need this certification to go abroad next summer. I really want to come back to Cornwall, an amazing region in the South-West of England. I’ve been there twice with my family, but now I want to go alone. Only being there to England I can really improve my English comprehension and speaking skills.

Fortunately I can will have some English lessons which taught in English at university and I can’t wait for it because it will be an interesting challenge for me. Studying foreign languages is essential to live and to travel. It isn’t simple and I surely have to challenge myself everyday, but the result is so satisfying that we I can’t do without it.

FCE Essay Example: Topic (History) 

A very common topic that is being discussed nowadays is wether schools should teach subjects that some may consider useless later in life. A clear example is history, since it is quite difficult to learn and does not help us in day-to-day activities.

However, many people do not realize the importance of it or that it affects our lives today. For example, our political system would not be this way if it weren’t for the Ancient Greeks, numerous politicians and wars who helped shape democracy and our constitution. Yet it is still thought that it’s useless.

In addition, it is very important that we never forget about our past since we must know where we were standing years ago. Moreover, there are some things, such as World War II, that we have to remember to prevent them from happening again. We should also know where we we were standing a century ago: our origins, our identity. The more you learn about your ethnicity, the better.

All in all, I think that it is extremely important to learn about one’s own country’s history. Anyone who gets the chance to do this should not waste it, since they are very fortunate to have this opportunity

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Top 20 Errors in Undergraduate Writing

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The Top Twenty: A Quick Guide to Troubleshooting Your Writing

Readers judge your writing by your control of certain conventions, which may change depending on your audience, purpose, and writing situation.  For example, your instructor may or may not mark errors in your paper if he’s more concerned with its argument or structure than he is with sentence-level correctness; he could also decide an error is not serious.  Some instructors may even see the errors listed below as stylistic options. However, a large-scale study by Andrea Lunsford and Karen Lunsford (2008) found that these errors are the most likely to attract readers’ negative attention.  Before handing in your papers, proofread them carefully for these errors, which are illustrated below in the sentences in italics.  

THE TOP TWENTY

1. wrong word.

Wrong word errors take a number of forms. They may convey a slightly different meaning than you intend ( compose instead of comprise ) or a completely wrong meaning ( prevaricate  instead of procrastinate ). They may also be as simple as a wrong preposition or other type of wrong word in an idiom.

Use your thesaurus and spell checker with care. If you select a word from a thesaurus without knowing its precise meaning or allow a spell checker to correct spelling automatically, you may make wrong-word errors. If prepositions and idioms are tricky for you, look up the standard usage.

Here are a couple of wrong word examples:

Did you catch my illusion to the Bible?

Illusion means “an erroneous perception of reality.” In the context of this sentence,  allusion was needed because it means "reference.”

Edmund Spenser’s The Faerie Queene is a magnificent sixteenth-century allergy.

A spell checker replaced allegory with allergy.

2. Missing Comma after an Introductory Element

Use a comma after every introductory element—whether word, phrase or clause—to clarify where it ends and the rest of the sentence begins. When the introductory element is very short, you can skip the comma, but including it is never wrong.

Without a comma after the introductory element, it’s hard to see the location of the subject (“they”) in this sentence:

Determined to make their flight on time they rose at dawn.

3. Incomplete or Missing Documentation

Documentation practices vary from discipline to discipline.  But in academic and research writing, it’s a good idea to always cite your sources: omitting documentation can result in charges of plagiarism.

The examples below follow MLA style.  In this example, the page number of the print source for this quotation must be included.

The Social Media Bible defines social media as the “activities, practices, and behaviors among communities of people who gather online to share information, knowledge, and opinions using conversational media.”

And here, the source mentioned should be identified because it makes a specific, arguable claim:

According to one source, it costs almost twice an employee’s salary to recruit and train a replacement. 

Cite each source you refer to in the text, following the guidelines of the documentation style you are using. 

4. Vague Pronoun Reference

A pronoun (e.g., he, this, it) should refer clearly to the noun it replaces (called the antecedent).  If more than one word could be the antecedent, or if no specific antecedent is present, edit to make the meaning clear.

In this sentence, it possibly refers to more than one word:

If you put this handout in your binder, it may remind you of important tutoring strategies .

In some pronoun usage, the reference is implied but not stated.  Here, for example, you might wonder what which refers to:

The authoritarian school changed its cell phone policy, which many students resisted.

To improve this sentence, the writer needs to make explicit what students resisted.

5. Spelling

Even though technology now reviews much of our spelling for us, one of the top 20 most common errors is a spelling error.  That’s because spell checkers cannot identify many misspellings, and are most likely to miss homonyms (e.g., presence/presents), compound words incorrectly spelled as separate words, and proper nouns, particularly names. After you run the spell checker, proofread carefully for errors such as these:

Vladmir Putin is the controversial leader of Russia.

Every where she walked, she was reminded of him.

6. Mechanical Error with a Quotation

When we quote other writers, we bring their voices into our arguments.  Quotation marks crucially show where their words end and our own begin. 

Quotation marks come in pairs; don’t forget to open and close your quotations.  In most documentation styles (e.g., MLA Style), block quotations do not need quotations marks.  Consult your professor’s preferred style manual to learn how to present block quotations. 

Follow conventions when using quotation marks with other punctuation. Here, the comma should be placed inside the quotation marks:

"A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction", Virginia Woolf argues.

7. Unnecessary Comma

We often have a choice about whether or not to use a comma.  But if we add them to our sentences when and where they are not needed, then we may obscure rather than clarify our meaning.

Do not use commas to set off restrictive elements that are necessary to the meaning of the words they modify.  Here, for example, no comma is needed to set off the restrictive phrase  of working parents , which is necessary to indicate which parents the sentence is talking about.

Many children, of working parents, walk home from school by themselves.

Do not use a comma before a coordinating conjunction (and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet) when the conjunction does not join parts of a compound sentence.  In this example, no comma is needed before the word  and  because it joins two phrases that modify the same verb, applies.

  This social scourge can be seen in urban centers, and in rural outposts.

Do not use a comma before the first or after the last item in a series.

The students asked their TAs to review, the assignment rubric, a sample paper and their comments, before the end of the quarter.

Do not use a comma between a subject and verb.

Happily, the waiters, sat down during a break.

Do not use a comma between a verb and its object or complement.

On her way home from work, she bought, a book at the bookstore.

Do not use a comma between a preposition and its object.

On her way home from work, she bought a book at, the bookstore.

8. Unnecessary or Missing Capitalization

Capitalize proper nouns and proper adjectives, the first words of sentences, and important words in titles, along with certain words indicating directions and family relationships. Do not capitalize most other words. When in doubt, check a dictionary.

Financial Aid is a pressing concern for many University Students.

9. Missing Word

If you read your work outloud before submittingit, you are more likely to notice omitted words.  Be particularly careful not to omit words from quotations.

Soccer fans the globe rejoiced when the striker scored the second goal.

10. Faulty Sentence Structure

If a sentence starts out with one kind of structure and then changes to another kind, it will confuse readers.

The information that families have access to is what financial aid is available and thinking about the classes available, and how to register.

Maintain the grammatical pattern within a sentence.  Each sentence must have a subject and a verb, and the subjects and predicates must make sense together.  In the example above, thinking about the classes available does not help the reader understand the information families have access to.  Parallel structures can help your reader see the relationships among your ideas.  Here’s the sentence revised:

Families have access to information about financial aid, class availability, and registration.

11. Missing Comma with a Nonrestrictive Element

A nonrestrictive phrase or clause provides additional information that is not essential to the basic meaning of the sentence.  Use commas to set off a nonrestrictive element.

David who loved to read history was the first to head to the British Library.

The clause  who loved to read history does not affect the basic meaning of the sentence.  The clause could be taken out and the reader would still understand that David was the first to head to the British Library.  

12. Unnecessary Shift in Verb Tense

Verbs that shift from one tense to another with no clear reason can confuse readers.

Martin searched for a great horned owl.  He takes photographs of all the birds he sights.

13. Missing Comma in a Compound Sentence

A compound sentence consists of two or more independent clauses.  When the clauses are joined by a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), use a comma before the conjunction to indicate a pause between the two thoughts.

Miranda drove her brother and her mother waited at home.

Without the comma, a reader may think at first that Miranda drove both her brother and her mother.

14. Unnecessary or Missing Apostrophe (including its/it's)

To make a noun possessive, add either an apostrophe and an s (Ed's phone) or an apostrophe alone (the girls’ bathroom). Do not use an apostrophe in the possessive pronouns ours, yours, and hers. Use its to mean belong to it; use it's only when you mean it is or it has.

Repeated viral infections compromise doctors immune systems.

The chef lifted the skillet off it’s hook.  Its a fourteen-inch, copper skillet.

15. Fused (run-on) Sentence

A fused sentence (also called a run-on) joins clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence with no punctuation or words to link them. Fused sentences must be either divided into separate sentences or joined by adding words or punctuation.

The house was flooded with light, the moon rose above the horizon.

He wondered what the decision meant he thought about it all night.

16. Comma Splice

A comma splice occurs when only a comma separates clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence. To correct a comma splice, you can insert a semicolon or period, connect the clauses with a word such as and/or/because, or restructure the sentence.

The students rushed the field, they tore down the goalposts. 

17. Lack of pronoun/antecedent agreement

Pronouns typically must agree with their antecedents in gender (male or female, if appropriate) and in number (singular or plural). Many indefinite pronouns, such as everyone and each, are always singular.  However,  they can be used to agree with a singular antecedent in order to use inclusive or gender-neutral language.  When antecedents are joined by or or nor, the pronoun must agree with the closer antecedent. A collection noun such as team can be either singular or plural, depending on whether the members are seen as a group or individuals.

Every guest left their shoes at the door.

18. Poorly Integrated Quotation

Quotations should be logically and smoothly integrated with the writing around them, the grammar of the quotation complementing the grammar of the neighboring prose.  They usually need to be introduced (with a signal phrase) rather than dropped abruptly into the writing.

An award-winning 2009 study of friendship "understanding social networks allows us to understand how indeed, in the case of humans, the whole comes to be greater than the sum of its parts" (Christakis and Fowler 26).

"Social networks are intricate things of beauty" (Christakis and Fowler xiii). Maintaining close friendships is good for your health.

19. Missing or Unnecessary Hyphen

A compound adjective requires a hyphen when it modifies a noun that follows it.

This article describes eighteenth century theater.

A two-word verb should not be hyphenated. 

The dealers want to buy-back the computers and refurbish them.

20. Sentence Fragment

A sentence fragment is part of a sentence that is presented as if it were a complete sentence.  The following illustrate the ways sentence fragments can be created:

Without a subject

The American colonists resisted British taxation.  And started the American Revolution.

No complete verb

The pink geranium blooming in its pot.

Beginning with a subordinating word

We visited the park. Where we threw the Frisbee.

These 20 most common errors can be avoided in your writing if you reserve time to proofread your final draft before submission.

Works Cited

Lunsford, Andrea A. and Karen J. Lunsford.  “Mistakes are a Fact of Life: A National Comparative Study.”   CCC 59 (2008) 781-806.