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College Essays

Just as there are noteworthy examples of excellent college essays that admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples of terrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards.

While I won't guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won't end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays—and what to do to if you end up creating one by accident.

What Makes Bad College Essays Bad

What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matter with poor execution.

Problems With the Topic

The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flub what the essay is about or how you've decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily create an essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I'll discuss in the next section.

The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren't on your transcript. So if you start with a terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes.

Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don't have a good sense of judgment or maturity , which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have to be able to handle independent life on campus.

Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person , or someone who doesn't process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since colleges want to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students.

Still other bad topics indicate that you're unaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself , which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officers are looking for people who can do that.

Problems With the Execution

Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you've structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style.

One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics , like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that's expected from a high school graduate.

Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you're either someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them . Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already.

College Essay Topics To Avoid

Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories.

Too Personal

The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something very private can show that you don't really understand boundaries . And knowing where appropriate boundaries are will be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you.

Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level: if it's not something you'd tell a friendly stranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don't tell it to the admissions office.

• Describing losing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn't mean you can't write about your sexual orientation—just leave out the actual physical act.
• Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value.
• Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other. Your relationship is adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life.
• Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety. Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one.

Too Revealing of Bad Judgment

Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoral actions out of your essay . It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you.

Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you're in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you've turned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up.

• Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unless it's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay.
• Describing drug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine.
• Making up fictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar.
• Detailing your personality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement.

Too Overconfident

While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies.

• Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play.
• Having no awareness of the actual scope of your accomplishments. It's lovely that you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn't make you a saintly figure.

Too Clichéd or Boring

Remember your reader. In this case, you're trying to make yourself memorable to an admissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays . If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won't register in that person's mind as anything worth paying attention to.

• Transcribing your resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks you to write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about a facet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application.
• Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be.
• Being moved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed at how happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about this tends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don't do it.
• Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very common experience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you're going to write about death or divorce, make sure to focus on how you dealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic.
• Going meta. Don't write about the fact that you're writing the essay as we speak, and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader's hand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways.
• Offering your ideas on how to fix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me, there's just no way you are being realistically appreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing.
• Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive.
• Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality. "Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me."

Too Off-Topic

Unlike the essays you've been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future . Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context.

• Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn't the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the ways you've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future.
• Documenting how well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantastic learning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements.
• Concentrating on a work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing an analytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you've been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexas application to get some advice on writing about someone else's work while making sure your essay still points back at you.

(Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Too Offensive

With this potential mistake, you run the risk of showing a lack of self-awareness or the ability to be open to new ideas . Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that's what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inability to communicate successfully with others.

Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that.

• Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay stands on any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person.
• Writing a one-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate.
• Mentioning anything negative about the school you're applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices.

College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid

Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you're writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic—the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list.

Tone-Deafness

Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life —these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness.

• Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off.
• Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn't know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommend the simplest and most straightforward version: being self-deprecating and low-key.
• Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone.
• Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life.

(Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Lack of Personality

One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay ? If the answer is yes, then you aren't doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It's very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student.

• Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible.
• Skipping over description and specific details in favor of writing only in vague generalities. Does your narrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, which could apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you're doing it wrong and need to refocus on your reaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation.

Off-Kilter Style

There's some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn't a free-for-all postmodern art class . True, there are prompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences.

• Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot of urban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time.
• Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form. Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different.
• Using as many "fancy" words as possible and getting very far away from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hear your not fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it.

Failure to Proofread

Most people have a hard time checking over their own work. This is why you have to make sure that someone else proofreads your writing . This is the one place where you can, should—and really must—get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft.

Otherwise, you look like you either don't know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don't care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?).

• Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand.
• Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant.
• Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read.

Bad College Essay Examples—And How to Fix Them

The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So if you think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can't bear being touched, you'll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up!

Now let's take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed.

Essay #1: The "I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak" Meta-Narrative

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishing the college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans for my October, November and December.

Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!" I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

I fell into a state of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senior year. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomore year, and performing "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public. And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as the cherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trek and my enthusiasm for TREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays.

With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree.

What Essay #1 Does Well

Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is.

Killer First Sentence

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine.

• A strange fact. There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway?
• A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical. What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way?
• Direct engagement with the reader. Instead of asking "what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house" it asks "was your house ever destroyed."

Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well

I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

The author has his cake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trek mythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computer alone in his room. You know, just in case.

A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph

The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activism could capture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words.

(Image: fir0002 via Wikimedia Commons .)

Where Essay #1 Needs Revision

Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine.

Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative

I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal.

Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience.

In the rewrite, I'd advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get to the meat of the actual essay .

Letting Other People Do All the Doing

I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!"

Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there.

Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do. Not only that, but it sounds like both of the "incomplete" essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative.

In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Star Trek and the TREE versions of the essay as the author's own thoughts rather than someone else's suggestions . This way, the point of the essay—taking apart the idea that a college essay could summarize life experience—is earned by the author's two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay.

Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences

Both the Star Trek fandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author—important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates. But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life.

It's fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves.

In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests . How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today?

Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix

So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn't capture about the author . In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities.

For example, after the Star Trek paragraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discuss art forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who loves Star Trek .

Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting—is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist?

Essay #2: The "I Once Saw Poor People" Service Trip Essay

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on life changed after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn't have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got to the farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice asking me in Spanish, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I looked down to see a small boy, around nine years of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate ahead of themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all?

Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

What Essay #2 Does Well

Let's first point out what this draft has going for it.

Clear Chronology

This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out.

(Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons)

Where Essay #2 Needs Revision

Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster.

Condescending, Obnoxious Tone

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive.

This is a very broad generalization, which doesn't tend to be the best way to formulate an argument—or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population.

In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on "other teenagers," most of whom she doesn't know and will never meet.

I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

Coming from someone who hasn't earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word "compassion" sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it.

These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves.

Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boy the author was clearly not looking all that "fortunate"—instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting.

In the next draft, a better hook could be making the essay about the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip . A more meaningful essay would compare and contrast the points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child's point of view.

Vague, Unobservant Description

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness.

Phrases like "cries of the small children from not having enough to eat" and "dirt stained rags" seem like descriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyed generalizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid?

The same goes for "filthy rags," which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmers so their clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had "stains" on it.

The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether .

The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality.

If this is the "most vivid memory," then I would expect to read all the details that have been seared into the author's brain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did they get there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace?

There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass.

Lack of Insight or Maturity

But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water?

Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature . After all, this isn't a a solo wilderness trek—the author is there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips?

In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered.

Unearned, Clichéd "Deep Thoughts"

But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the author was shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence. But what does "there is more to life than just being alive" even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur.

In a rewrite, the essay should be completely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new version can end by on a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people's perspectives .

The Bottom Line

• Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution.
• The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence.
• The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don't know how to write, or don't care enough to do it well.
• The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness.
• The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations.

What's Next?

Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examples published by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic .

Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applications for advice.

Are you considering taking the SAT or ACT again before you submit your application? Read about our famous test prep guides for hints and strategies for a better score.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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The 5 Most Overused College Essay Topics

One of our counselors referred to his last year working in admissions at a highly-selective college as the “year of the blood drive essay.” That year, an unusually high number of applicants told the same tale of how one on-campus blood drive changed their lives and made them appreciate the importance of serving humanity. Writing such grandiose statements into your essays won’t help you stand out. The statements sound cliché. So here are the five most overused clichés we—and every admissions officer we’ve spoken with—see most often and which you should avoid.

1. The aforementioned “blood drive essay” or “How community service taught me the importance of helping others” Colleges appreciate students who are concerned about their communities. But one blood drive does not a humanitarian make. A claim to have learned how important it is to help people needs to be substantiated with evidence of a sincere, long-term commitment to actually helping people. Otherwise, your message loses some oomph . If you had an experience during your community service that really meant a lot to you, say so. And be honest. Otherwise, consider doing a good deed for admissions officers and avoid the community service cliché.

2. “Hard work always pays off,” and other life lessons learned while playing sports The problem with many sports essays is they explain what life is like for every athlete. You go to practice. You work hard. You compete. Then the student makes it worse by saying sports taught him the importance of hard work and commitment, which is almost certainly not something he would say to his friends. Be original. Tell your sports story that nobody else can tell. If you can’t find a story you own, just write about something else.

3. “How my trip to another country broadened my horizons” This essay essentially says, “France is very difference from the United States—the food, the language, the customs. But I learned to appreciate the differences and to adapt to the ways of the French.” Visiting a country and noticing that it is different is not a story that you own. The admissions office doesn’t want to read your travel journals. Instead, make yourself, not the country, the focus of the essay. One of my students who had never previously ventured onto any sort of dance floor wrote that his trip to Spain was the first time he’d ever danced in front of other people. That wasn’t an essay about how Spain was different—it was an essay about how he was different in Spain.

4. “How I overcame a life challenge [that wasn’t really all that challenging]” Essays can help admissions officers understand more about a student who has overcome legitimate hardship. But far too many other students misguidedly manufacture hardship in a college essay to try to gain sympathy or make excuses (e.g., for low grades). This approach won’t work. If you’ve endured a hardship and you want to talk about it, you should. Otherwise, it’s probably better to choose a different topic. Note: The pet eulogy falls into this category. Lovely if you want to write one. Just don’t include it as part of your college essay.

5. Anything that doesn’t really sound like you Your essays are supposed to give the readers a sense of your personality. So give your essays a sincerity test. Do they sound like you, or do they sound like you’re trying to impress someone? Don’t use words you looked up in the thesaurus. There really is no place for “plethora” in a college essay. Don’t quote Shakespeare or Plato or the Dali Lama unless that is really you. If your best friend reads your college essay and says it sounds just like you, that’s probably a good sign.

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The Biggest Mistakes We’ve Seen on College Admissions Essays

Your admissions essay is an important part of the college process. Don’t disregard it as unnecessary. While it’s weight may vary based on the candidate, school, program, and other factors, your college essay always plays an important role in the admissions process.

Your essay should demonstrate your personality and voice. Yet time and time again, students make the same mistakes. We come across these repeat errors in CollegeVine’s essay coaching often. Here are six mistakes you should avoid when crafting your essay.

1. Repeating the prompt in your essay

Some teachers may have told you to repeat the essay prompt in essays for middle or high school. However, this is not a good approach for college essays, because they should stand alone as pieces of writing.

Instead of repeating a prompt from the Common App or the college in question, try developing a “hook”—a statement that draws the reader in—to capture your audience. For advice on crafting one, read How to Get the Perfect Hook for Your College Essay .

2. Coming across as phony or manufactured

When it comes to your college essay, stay away from a thesaurus. You shouldn’t use language you wouldn’t typically use because you’ll come across as phony. (Of course, don’t be overly informal!) For example, try to avoid using overly formal or complex language. (Why say “My behavior seemed incongruous to my family” when you could say “My behavior seemed out of character to my family”?)

Find a way to demonstrate your experiences in a unique way. For ideas, check out How to Develop a Personalized Metaphor for Your Applications and Where to Begin: 3 Personal Essay Brainstorming Exercises .

3. Not proofreading

Grammar mistakes are easy to catch if you do the work, so not double checking will come off as lazy. Read your essay several times. Try reading it aloud to catch errors. Here are some editing tips to help you through the process.

It’s also a good idea to get another set of eyes on your essay. Read Whom Should I Ask for Help with My College Essays? for advice the best people to consult.

4. Using cliches

Cliches are a no-no both in terms of choosing your topic and writing the essay itself. Common writing cliches include phrases such as “the next thing I knew,” “all that glitters is not gold,” “just a matter of time,” “every cloud has a silver lining,” “time heals all wounds,” and many, many others.

Your topic should represent you and your uniqueness —not something adcoms have seen a thousand times.

For example, sports metaphors—relating your life to an experience on the field or sports in general—often comes across as trite. Pet death is another all-too-common subject that can make adcoms wonder if you’re fishing for tragedies—or just haven’t had many meaningful experiences. If you do choose a topic along these lines, make sure you have a unique spin on it.

Volunteer or mission trips can also be an overused topic. These essays tend to be more about the experience than you and may convey that money buys opportunities. You don’t want to come across as too privileged or spoiled, so again, unless you have a unique angle, it’s best to stay away from this topic.

5. Plagiarizing

Never, never, never copy someone else’s work. Don’t ask or pay someone else to write your essay or parts of it for you. Colleges will likely find out—some even run plagiarism checks—and will reject you or revoke your admission if you’ve already been accepted. And, of course, it’s ethically wrong to plagiarize.

6. Rehashing your resume

You’ll have plenty of other room on your college app to list your extracurriculars, accomplishments, and awards. While it’s okay to mention an accomplishment that’s related to the subject of your essay—for instance, if you’re writing about a particular belief, you might describe an activity that allows you to express it—it shouldn’t be the whole subject of your essay.

Instead, use this as a space to demonstrate your personality and what makes you you. Check out 8 Dos and Don’ts for Crafting Your College Essay for tips.

Writing Your College Essay: The Bottom Line

When it comes down to it, your college essay is about you and your experiences. Your uniqueness should come across. Avoid these six mistakes, and you should be golden!

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Admissions Officers Discuss 3 Common Essay Topics

A college essay topic doesn't have to be unique to be a good choice for applicants, experts say.

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Admissions officers look at much more than the topic students select when assessing college essays.

Grades and test scores may measure a student's academic potential, but those factors fail to capture his or her personality. That's where the college essay comes in. The college essay offers students the chance to tell their own story to admissions officials.

How important is the college essay? It ranked as the fifth most important factor in the admissions process in a 2019 National Association for College Admission Counseling survey. The essay followed other factors: high school GPA , grades in college prep courses, strength of curriculum at a student's high school, and SAT and ACT scores.

High school students may worry about not having an original topic for their college essay – that anything they write about will be something admissions officers have read countless times before.

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But admissions deans and directors from several colleges told U.S. News that it's OK if applicants write about a common subject.

"Overuse of a topic doesn't make it a bad topic," says Whitney Soule, senior vice president and dean of admissions and student aid at Bowdoin College in Maine.

How common an essay topic is matters less than a student's ability to express something significant about himself or herself.

"It's not just about the topic, but why it's important to you and how you can showcase who you are as a student and an individual through that topic," says Jennifer Gayles, director of admission and coordinator of multicultural recruitment at Sarah Lawrence College in New York.

Here are three examples of common college application essay topics that admissions officials say are fine for students to write about as long as they do so thoughtfully.

The Big Game Essay

Many high school students play sports, so it's understandable that athletics comes up fairly often in college essays.

One potential pitfall of a sports-focused essay is that students spend too much time describing what happened in the game, meet or competition and not enough time on how it affected them personally, some experts say.

Laura Stratton, director of admission at Scripps College in California, says she remembers reading a well-written sports essay in which the author wrote about being benched. The student was a senior and had played throughout the season, but she found herself on the sideline during the final game.

"The self-awareness the student showed of being a good team member and showing up for her teammates and continuing to be positive even though it wasn't the personal experience that she wanted to have, it said a lot about her character and about the type of roommate she would be or classmate she would be," Stratton says, "and that landed really well with the readers."

It's also fairly common for students to write about a sports-related injury in response to a college essay prompt about overcoming a challenge or failure, says Christoph Guttentag, dean of undergraduate admissions at Duke University in North Carolina. One of the 2019-2020 essay prompts for The Common Application – an application platform that allows students to submit their materials, including the essay, to multiple colleges at once – focuses on overcoming obstacles, according to the platform's website.

"If that's what has really mattered to the student, if that's something that has generated a lot of thought on their part, then I think it's a great essay topic," Guttentag says.

Essays That Focus on Service-Based Activities

College essays about service to others, either at home or abroad, can be moving to read but difficult to effectively write, given the short amount of space students are allotted for a college essay, some experts say. The Common App essay is limited to 650 words, for example.

"The idea of other people who are less advantaged being used as the vehicle for someone's increased self-awareness is how that can come across sometimes," Guttentag says, "and I think that can be difficult to pull off."

A student's motivation for choosing this topic also matters. If applicants decide to write about service, they should do so because their experience has led to thought and reflection, not because they feel like this is a topic admissions officers expect them to write about, Guttentag says.

Essays That Focus on a Meaningful Relationship

Students don't have to write about a major turning point in their essay, Soule says. They can instead reflect on something from their day-to-day life that they find meaningful. For some students, this may mean writing about a relationship with a parent, grandparent or other key figure in their life.

"I think that those can be great essays if the student is keeping top of mind that at the end of the essay we should know something about them as a person and how that relationship has affected and shaped them," Stratton says, "not just the great things about their grandma."

For example, Soule says she remembers a strong essay in which a student wrote about being a sibling. The student talked about what his relationship with his younger brother was like at different points throughout his life.

There wasn't any big, dramatic moment that the story hinged on, Soule says. The essay just reflected on how the student and his brother had grown up and evolved in relation to one another.

"That was really personal," Soule says, "and it also demonstrated a person who could see himself in relationship to other people, which is a hugely important quality, particularly when we're building a community of people who are going to be living together and learning together."

While students may ask themselves, "How important are college essays?" the answer is simple: important enough for college admissions that they should invest the time and effort to do their best and make the topic their own – even if it's common.

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• Choosing Your College Essay Topic | Ideas & Examples

Choosing Your College Essay Topic | Ideas & Examples

Published on October 25, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A strong essay topic sets you up to write a unique, memorable college application essay . Your topic should be personal, original, and specific. Take time to brainstorm the right topic for you.

Table of contents

What makes a good topic, brainstorming questions to get started, discover the best topic for you, how to make a common topic compelling, frequently asked questions about college application essays, other interesting articles.

Here are some guidelines for a good essay topic:

• It’s focused on you and your experience
• It shares something different from the rest of your application
• It’s specific and original (not many students could write a similar essay)
• It affords the opportunity to share your positive stories and qualities

In most cases, avoid topics that

• Reflect poorly on your character and behavior
• Deal with a challenge or traumatic experience without a lesson learned or positive outlook

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Spend time reflecting on and writing out answers to the following questions. After doing this exercise, you should be able to identify a few strong topics for your college essay.

Writing about yourself can be difficult. If you’re struggling to identify your topic, try these two strategies.

Start with your qualities

After identifying your positive qualities or values, brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities.

Start with a story

If you already have some memorable stories in mind that you’d like to write about, think about which qualities and values you can demonstrate with those stories.

Talk it through

To make sure you choose the right topic, ask for advice from trusted friends or family members who know you well. They can help you brainstorm ideas and remember stories, and they can give you feedback on your potential essay topics.

You can also work with a guidance counselor, teacher, or other mentor to discuss which ideas are most promising. If you plan ahead , you can even workshop multiple draft essays to see which topic works best.

If you do choose a common topic, ensure you have the following to craft a unique essay:

• Surprising or unexpected story arcs
• Interesting insight or connections
• An advanced writing style

Here are a few examples of how to craft strong essays from cliché topics.

Here’s a checklist you can use to confirm that your college essay topic is right for you.

College essay topic checklist

My topic is focused on me, not on someone else.

My topic shares something different from the rest of my application.

My topic is specific and original (not many students could write a similar essay).

My topic reflects positively on my character and behavior.

If I chose to write about a traumatic or challenging experience, my essay will focus on how I overcame it or gained insight.

If I chose a common topic, my essay will have a surprising story arc, interesting insight, and/or an advanced writing style.

Good topic!

It looks like your topic is a good choice. It's specific, it avoids clichés, and it reflects positively on you.

There are no foolproof college essay topics —whatever your topic, the key is to write about it effectively. However, a good topic

• Is meaningful, specific, and personal to you
• Focuses on you and your experiences
• Reveals something beyond your test scores, grades, and extracurriculars
• Is creative and original

Yes—admissions officers don’t expect everyone to have a totally unique college essay topic . But you must differentiate your essay from others by having a surprising story arc, an interesting insight, and/or an advanced writing style .

To decide on a good college essay topic , spend time thoughtfully answering brainstorming questions. If you still have trouble identifying topics, try the following two strategies:

• Identify your qualities → Brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities
• Identify memorable stories → Connect your qualities to these stories

You can also ask family, friends, or mentors to help you brainstorm topics, give feedback on your potential essay topics, or recall key stories that showcase your qualities.

Most topics are acceptable for college essays if you can use them to demonstrate personal growth or a lesson learned. However, there are a few difficult topics for college essays that should be avoided. Avoid topics that are:

• Overly personal (e.g. graphic details of illness or injury, romantic or sexual relationships)
• Not personal enough (e.g. broad solutions to world problems, inspiring people or things)
• Too negative (e.g. an in-depth look at your flaws, put-downs of others, criticizing the need for a college essay)
• Too boring (e.g. a resume of your academic achievements and extracurriculars)
• Inappropriate for a college essay (e.g. illegal activities, offensive humor, false accounts of yourself, bragging about privilege)

Here’s a brief list of college essay topics that may be considered cliché:

• Extracurriculars, especially sports
• Role models
• Dealing with a personal tragedy or death in the family
• Struggling with new life situations (immigrant stories, moving homes, parents’ divorce)
• Becoming a better person after community service, traveling, or summer camp
• Overcoming a difficult class
• Using a common object as an extended metaphor

It’s easier to write a standout essay with a unique topic. However, it’s possible to make a common topic compelling with interesting story arcs, uncommon connections, and an advanced writing style.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

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• Writing process
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• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

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Break Free from Overused College Essay Topics

As high school seniors embark on their college application journey, they face the daunting task of crafting compelling and unique essays that capture the attention of admissions officers. But certain topics have become so overused that they risk blending into a sea of sameness. Writing about a creative and unique topic catches the attention of the admissions officer, making you a more memorable and appealing candidate. Let’s examine some of the most overused college essay topics and provide insights on how to approach them in a unique and authentic way.

The sports triumph:

One of the most common essay topics centers around athletic achievements. While discussing sports can showcase dedication and teamwork, it's important to transcend the surface level and delve into the personal growth, values, or lessons learned from the experience. Consider focusing on the transformative power of sports, or how they have shaped your character beyond the scoreboard.

The travel epiphany:

Writing about transformative travel experiences has become increasingly popular. To avoid falling into the cliché trap, delve deeper into the cultural or personal impact of your travels. Reflect on how these experiences shaped your worldview, challenged your assumptions, or inspired a sense of empathy and understanding. 

The community service savior:

Community service essays often revolve around the act of volunteering itself rather than the personal growth or impact it had on the writer. To break free from this cliché, highlight the specific moments or interactions that deeply influenced you. Discuss how these experiences sparked a commitment to social change, instilled empathy, helped you decide on a career path, or fostered your passion for making a difference.

The academic epiphany:

Essays centered solely on academic achievements risk becoming predictable and generic. Instead, showcase your intellectual curiosity and growth by delving into the inspirations behind your academic pursuits, the challenges you've encountered, or the interdisciplinary connections you've made. Unveil the personal significance of your academic journey beyond the accolades.

The tragedy and triumph:

While overcoming personal hardships can be a powerful narrative, it has also become a common theme. To differentiate yourself, focus on the growth and resilience that emerged from these challenges. Share insights gained from navigating adversity, highlighting the personal strength and determination that have shaped your character.

The role model homage:

Essays centered on influential individuals in your life may risk overshadowing your own story. Instead, use these figures as a springboard to showcase your own values, accomplishments, and aspirations. Discuss how their impact inspired your personal growth and motivated you to become a role model for others.

While it is still possible to write a compelling college essay on one of these topics, adding your own personal flare will help you to stand out from the crowd. ESAI can help you take a basic essay topic, and infuse it with a fresh, original perspective.

Crafting a college essay that stands out requires avoiding the pitfalls of overused topics and embracing a fresh, authentic approach. By delving deeper into your experiences, focusing on personal growth, reflecting on the broader impact, and highlighting unique insights, you can breathe new life into these common topics. Remember, the goal is to captivate the admissions officers and provide them with a genuine glimpse into your character, passions, and aspirations. ESAI’s College Application Tool can help you take an overused topic, and turn it into a unique, personal, standout essay.

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4 Overdone College Essay Topics

How to avoid writing a cliched personal statement.

If you’re in the process of writing your college essays, you’ve probably heard one platitude over and over again: a good college essay should help you stand out. We understand that it’s intimidating to think about seeming unique amidst thousands of other applicants — until you remember that you actually ARE completely unique, even amidst thousands of other applicants. You don’t need to worry about puffing yourself up to seem special — when writing your essay, you can simply tap into the natural uniqueness that already exists within you.

All that being said — there are a handful of cliched college essay topics that admissions officers read over and over and over again. If you’re considering one of the following overdone essay topics, know that you may struggle to distinguish yourself from the many other students who have also chosen the same topic, and you may have trouble writing about that topic in a way that feels refreshing or “new” to an admissions officer who has been reading similar essays for many years.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that these topics are forbidden! All we ask is that, if you’re feeling especially jazzed about one of these topics, spend some time endeavoring to find an unusual or unexpected angle on that (possibly predictable) idea.

1. The sports essay

You’ve come up with the perfect essay topic: that basketball game that changed your life. Your team had been struggling all season, but you came together and clinched the championship! Or: you were a top runner on the cross country team, until an injury benched you, and you had to adapt. Or: you were consistently the slowest swimmer on the team, but you learned that you still love swimming even if you’re not the next Michael Phelps.

It seems like a natural topic to choose! Sports and sports injuries can evoke a lot of emotion — disappointment, jubilation, and pain, to name a few. Recovering from a sports injury, leading your athletic team to victory, or coping with a crippling defeat can demonstrate determination, perseverance, grit, bravery, and many other admirable qualities.

Unfortunately, many other students have the same idea. Sports — and especially sports injuries — are hugely popular topics for college essays. Students often feel compelled to discuss a single moment or event that changed their lives in these essays, and because so many high schoolers participate in athletics, quite a few have had similar experiences that fit this bill. On top of that, these essays often follow the same well-trod themes related to overcoming adversity.

2. The community service essay

Here’s an essay excerpt that’s sure to make an admissions officer reach for the triple shot latte to stay awake:

“I spent [a summer vacation/a weekend/three hours] volunteering with the poor in [Honduras/ Haiti/ Louisiana] and realized that [I am privileged/I enjoy helping others/people there are happy with so little].”

It is awesome that you volunteered at an elderly care facility or went to Costa Rica and helped build a school for underprivileged kids—and colleges love seeing evidence of real compassion—but when an admissions officer picks up your community service essay, it could be the one hundredth community service essay they’ve read that day. Additionally, some ideas (like the Costa Rica school one) risk making you seem uncritically privileged — as if Mommy and Daddy financed your trip specifically to build your college resume.

3. The summer camp essay

There is a reason this essay topic has become a cliché – for many students, summer programs represent the first exposure to life outside of their bubble. Similarly, camp can legitimately help kids grow and mature, develop a sense of community, and foster leadership skills – duh, that’s part of why parents send their kids to summer camp! The problem is that, because these kinds of experiences tend to be so broadly shared by so many high schoolers, and because these narratives tend to follow such common themes (I found my people! I went from camper to counselor! I learned how to be a leader! I found a home away from home!), writing an essay along these lines can make it extremely difficult for an admissions officer to get a sense of who you are in specificity.

4. The hardship essay

Many students (and parents) tend to be under the impression that it’s important to write about “overcoming obstacles” or about the worst, most traumatic thing that has ever happened to them — and maybe that’s why so many of these essays are submitted each year! Not only are these kinds of essays overdone, they are also tricky for a couple of other reasons. If you’re interested in writing about an experience that you consider a hardship, ask yourself two questions:

First, how might that hardship be considered in the greater applicant pool? For example, if you failed a Bio quiz and needed to dedicate extra hours to catching up for the next few months, that might have been legitimately devastating to you at the time. However, there will likely be students in the applicant pool who have dealt with chronic illness, domestic violence, homelessness, etc. Ask yourself how you might feel if your hardship essay was read back-to-back with an essay about homelessness or some other hardship of similar severity.

Second, are you really ready to write about the experience? Some of our students have experienced significant hardships and/or trauma, coming in the form of abuse, rejection due to sexual orientation or gender identity, disordered eating, self-harm, etc. If you’re interested in focusing your essay on one of these topics, try to assess whether you will be able to write clearly and self-reflectively about it — the last thing we want would be for you to get penalized for your vulnerability by writing about trauma in a way that makes an admissions officer doubt that you are emotionally ready for college. As a rule of thumb, you may want to write about scars, but you should never write about open wounds.

Now you know a bit more about some of the pitfalls and risks that come with certain college essay topics. It’s time to sit down and start drafting! Check out our full College Essay Hub for tons of resources and guidance on writing your college essay. Need more personalized guidance on brainstorming or crafting your personal statemen t? Contact our college admissions team.

Caroline Hertz

The 3 Most Common College Essay Topic Clichés and How to Cure Them

1. The “Person I Admire” Essay

Is your dad the most important person in your life? Have you recently been coping with the death of a loved one? Do you plan on following in the footsteps of your high school mentor? Believe it or not, more than one person reading this article answered “yes” to at least one of those questions. Although we all have different relationships with the people we admire, essays on this subject often veer off the narrative cliff into an ocean of similar sob stories. These stories also run the risk of focusing too much on the influential figure or family member and not enough on the student writing the essay.

Remember, this is YOUR college application – not your grandpa’s, not Abraham Lincoln’s. Admissions wants to know about YOU, and what makes you a uniquely good fit for their school. If a person has had a significant impact on your life – sad or happy, negative or positive – focus on one important moment in that relationship. If you want to be just like your dad, when did you realize this? If your mother was sick, how did you help her manage her illness, and what did you learn about your own abilities to face life’s greatest challenges? Is there an unexpected way you can find joy or hope in a moment of sadness? Telling a simple story that is specific to your own life and experience will make all the difference here.

2. The Sports Essay

The crowd goes wild as you score the winning touchdown and are carried off the backs of your teammates….in a cast! Because you did the whole thing with a broken leg! Victories, injuries, and teamwork are the most common themes sloshing around the bucket of vague sports essays. This topic presents an opportunity for students to describe how they surmount different kinds of obstacles – an opportunity almost everyone takes. Surprisingly, the challenges of playing soccer in Ohio are quite similar to those of playing baseball in Montana. And serious athletes with sports-heavy resumes who also write about sports run the risk of boring admissions to tears with their one-note applications.

The sports essay is actually a huge arena in which a student can showcase his or her creativity. It’s time to abandon the simple narratives of bones broken and medals won. Put your unique perspective on display by describing how the skills you gained from athletics transfer to other areas of your life (or vice versa). Turn your favorite sport into a metaphor to describe another aspect of who you are. Or, if you still can’t resist telling one of the more common kinds of sports stories, dig into the details of that story. Try to isolate a small moment within the larger story that was significant or surprising. A victory isn’t just about winning or teamwork – maybe it’s also about the way your friend made you laugh on the bus before you even set foot on the field.

3. The Volunteering Essay

“…but it turns out that, when I thought I was helping them, all along they were really helping me.” Stop! Pull at our heartstrings no longer! If you, too, have been changed by your community service, you are not alone. That is an amazing side effect of doing good deeds that affect others. Millions of students across the country and around the globe donate their time to worthy causes (something that makes us very happy), but the mere act of volunteering is no longer enough to distinguish you from your competitors. Common pitfalls of the volunteering essay include saccharine storytelling, repeating your resume, and parroting the Wikipedia page of your organization of choice.

Ideally, you should donate your time to a cause that is truly significant to you. Thousands of people do the Breast Cancer walk every year. They all follow the same route and see the same sights, but what about the story that led up to you taking that first step? Ideally, the service itself should be the reward – not the “lessons learned” from the people who benefit from your service. Or, if you truly experienced personal growth through volunteering, try to isolate a particular moment or relationship that can illustrate the change you observed in yourself. Showing, not telling, is the key to writing a unique and engaging volunteering essay.

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Written by Thea Hogarth

Category: College Admissions , Essay Tips

Tags: cliches , college application , college applications , college essay topic , common app , editing , writing

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What are college essay topics that are over used/not original? Answered

I do not want to have an essay that has been read a million times before, what are some that you commonly see/hear other writing.

The advice I got I that it's not so much the topic being a cliche but rather the takeaway. The problem with the topics listed below is that they usually have the same ending, ex: I learned to be a team player or I learned to help others.

Yep, this is a fantastic point! While it's still generally a good idea to stay away from the topics that have been mentioned if you're able to write them in a unique/interesting way OR come up with an unexpected takeaway you could write about them. This is really hard for a lot of students so most people just suggest avoiding it altogether.

Earn karma by helping others:

DON'T use these essay topics:

1) Big sports games

2) Mission trips

3) Glorified resume (where you just write a paragraph about each extracurricular; please don't do this bc you can't get into enough depth and it doesn't add anything to your application if it's already in the activity section)

4) Major life changes that have happened to other people besides you (eg. moving to a new school/house, divorce, hospitalization, etc.) (I'll explain this more down below)

5) Anything that you have nothing good to say about. It's absolutely valid to have parts of your life that are difficult to talk about, but don't talk about something you aren't ready to. Whatever your essay ends up being about, it should leave a positive impression on the admissions counselors. This is really hard to do if you're writing about a topic you feel overall negatively about. Side note: if you have something on your chest that you want to write about just to get it down on paper, I encourage you to do so! The personal essay process can be really good for reflection, I'd just suggest you do it for you and not for an essay you submit. However, during this process you may discover a part of your life that was related tangentially that you do feel positively about, in which case you might want to consider whether to write about that for a college essay!

6) COVID-19. If you want to talk about something you discovered about yourself during quarantine you can do that. Just make sure it's tailored to a specific experience you had, not just the general experience of staying home more.

One note is that if you feel that any of the above topics is truly, deeply ingrained in who you are, you don't have to omit them entirely (particularly for #4). However, many people tend to choose a big topic (like the ones above) and write about it too broadly because there's a lot to explain about big events. You can still have such events underlying your essay as a whole, but write very specifically. Your essay should be something ONLY you could have written about. There's this quote by Richard Price that I think is applicable here: “The bigger the issue, the smaller you write. Remember that. You don’t write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid’s burnt socks lying on the road. You pick the smallest manageable part of the big thing, and you work off the resonance.” Big, impactful events are, by nature, impactful to a lot of people and often very common; that's why you don't want to write about moving to a new state. You could, however, write about how a quirky tradition at your new school introduced you to the nuance of balancing homesickness with excitement about the future or something reflective like that. The "big event" shouldn't be centered, but it can be part of your essay's context.

Here is one thing you CAN do to come up with a topic!

1) Open up a google doc and write down literally everything you can think of about yourself. Formative memories, tiny memories that you don't know why you remember, places you've been with family and friends, your favorite things, aspects of your identity, people you care about, hobbies, experiences, etc. If it pops into your head, write it down. Even if it seems trivial, it's way better to write a bad idea down than have it bounce around in your head. You can also look through old notebooks and items in your house that are important/memorable to you. Write down any notes/feelings you think of as you're writing stuff down, and any applicable tangents your brain goes on. When you're done with all that, you'll have this massive document of ideas + memories specific to you that you can potentially write about (mine was like 12 pages lol). Later on when you're looking at the prompts you can look back through the document and highlight anything that jumps out at you (again, even if it seems trivial! Especially if it seems trivial! Some of the strongest essays I've read have been meaningful reflections of trivial events). You can also go through each bullet point and try to connect the moment/memory/thing to anything meaningful you want to talk about (deeper topics like finding joy in trivial moments, how leaps of faith are super nerve-wracking but also rewarding, etc.) If you find yourself getting into the flow of doing this step, that bullet point may be something you want to write about! If you're having a hard time coming up with a meaningful connection, just move on.

As a final note, the list at the top is probably not comprehensive. I encourage you to look up videos/articles by people who review college essays for a living, either actual admissions counselors or people who offer college essay review services. They have seen WAY more essays than I have, and can tell you what people write about much better than I can. It's also just pretty fun to watch YouTube videos and count it as part of your college application process. Here are some links if you want to explore this more:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7mbTzRSPD0 (overused essays; video by an essay reviewer)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH2pHQwaCTw (unique essays that worked; video by an essay reviewer)

https://youtu.be/_PhK7n4Labg (overused essays; video by an essay reviewer)

https://www.collegeessayguy.com/blog/college-essay-examples (unique essays that worked; article by an essay reviewer)

Great examples! College Essay Guy certainly helped guide my personal statement and supplement essays A LOT! Totally recommend!

I will add essays about someone else arent good and likely over used. They want to hear about you not mom

the things i would do to be able to read that 12 page document about you hahah. it seems so interesting!! i definitely want to start one of my own now

Simply if it’s cliche, you want to avoid it. Such topics as “the big [sports] game” or “the time I moved” are commonly used examples of cliche, unoriginal topics. It’s all about context, if it’s not unique, such as would be with these two topics, then it will fail to please your admissions readers, rather it may discourage them from choosing you. To avoid such a feeble, large-consequence mistake, you should focus on a time where GROWTH + PERSONAL IDENTITY was shown.

An example: “my contribution to curing cancer: the time I reached out to a university researcher to assist in genetic breast cancer therapeutics”. For one, this shows a great deal of maturity where you took initiative (this would be GROWTH) and it expresses what you are interested in (PERSONAL IDENTITY). Yet another example: “when my [parent] passed away due to [health issue], I held a local event to inform of the dangers of [health issue]”. This one has the two features of before, but has an emotional bonus where VULNERABILITY + RESILIENCE are included to the extent of the writer’s portrayal. As long as you are able to “connect with the reader using a ‘uniquely-you’ topic”, then you’ll be fine!!

The best examples for EACH prompt: ( https://blog.collegevine.com/common-app-essay-examples/ )

Here is insight into college application essays: ( https://www.noodle.com/articles/the-best-and-worst-topics-for-a-college-application-essay ).

Here are topics and tactics NOT to EVER write about: ( https://ingeniusprep.com/blog/worst-personal-statement-topics/ ).

Hope this all helps!!

Really common one I've heard of include: Sports injuries, death of a grandparent (while it's still sad, it's a commonly used essay topic), and mission trips. If you really want to stand out, I'd use something completely original. I know a girl who did one about this pen pal she's had for over ten years and how their relationship has grown without ever seeing each other's faces. If you think about it, there's a ton of things that's happened in your life that are unique to YOU, you just have to figure out how to express it in an essay correctly.

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The 5 Most Overused College Essay Topics

Kevin mcmullin, money, jobs, & college, you must be logged in to view the full article.

One of our counselors referred to his last year working in admissions at a highly?selective college as the “year of the blood drive essay”. That year, an unusually high number of applicants told the same tale of how one on?campus blood drive changed their lives and made them appreciate the importance of serving humanity. Writing such grandiose statements into your essays won’t help you stand out. The statements sound cliché. So here are the five most overused clichés we—and every admissions officer we’ve spoken with—see most often, and which you should avoid.

1. The aforementioned “blood drive essay” or “How community service taught me the importance of helping others” Colleges appreciate students who are concerned about their communities. But one blood drive does not a humanitarian make. A claim to have learned how important it is to help people, needs to be substantiated with evidence of a sincere, long?term commitment to actually helping people. Otherwise, your message loses some oomph . If you had an experience during your community service that really meant a lot to you, say so. And be honest. Otherwise, consider doing a good deed for admissions officers and avoid the community service cliché.

2. “Hard work always pays off,” and other life lessons learned while playing sports The problem with many sports essays is they explain what life is like for every athlete. You go to practice. You work hard. You compete. Then the student makes it worse by saying sports taught him the importance of hard work and commitment, which is almost certainly not something he would say to his friends. Be original. Tell your sports story that nobody else can tell. If you can’t find a story you own, just write about something else.

3. “How my trip to another country broadened my horizons” This essay essentially says, “France is very difference from the United States—the food, the language, the customs. But I learned to appreciate the differences and to adapt to the ways of the French.” Visiting a country and noticing that it is different is not a story that you own. The admissions office doesn’t want to read your travel journals. Instead, make yourself, not the country, the focus of the essay. One of my students who had never previously ventured onto any sort of dance floor wrote that his trip to Spain was the first time he’d ever danced in front of other people. That wasn’t an essay about how Spain was different—it was an essay about how he was different in Spain.

4. “How I overcame a life challenge [that wasn’t really all that challenging]” Essays can help admissions officers understand more about a student who has overcome legitimate hardship. But far too many other students misguidedly manufacture hardship in a college essay to try to gain sympathy or make excuses (e.g., for low grades). This approach won’t work. If you’ve endured a hardship and you want to talk about it, you should. Otherwise, it’s probably better to choose a different topic. Note: The pet eulogy falls into this category. Lovely if you want to write one. Just don’t include it as part of your college essay.

5. Anything that doesn’t really sound like you Your essays are supposed to give the readers a sense of your personality. So give your essays a sincerity test. Do they sound like you, or do they sound like you’re trying to impress someone? Don’t use words you looked up in the thesaurus. There really is no place for “plethora” in a college essay. Don’t quote Shakespeare or Plato or the Dali Lama unless that is really you. If your best friend reads your college essay and says it sounds just like you, that’s probably a good sign.

Kevin McMullin is the Founder of Collegewise , a national college admissions counseling company, co-founder of The Princeton Review and the author of If the U Fits: Expert Advice on Finding the Right College and Getting Accepted. He also writes a daily college admissions blog, wiselikeus.com , and has given over 500 presentations to discuss smarter, saner college planning.

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5 College Admissions Essay Clichés to Avoid

by Gail Kerzner | Aug 31, 2021 | College Admissions Essays , Tips and Tricks

For high school seniors, fall doesn’t just mean time to reunite with friends and back-to-school shopping—complete with sparkly notebooks. It means super serious college prep and the scary realization that many college admissions essay deadlines are eminent—as early as November 1 for early decision. When admissions essays rank as one of the most important components of your college application (made even more so by many colleges and universities making test scores optional for this year’s round of admissions), it’s important to get your essay right. With more than 6 million first-year applications submitted each year , through the CommonApp alone, you can imagine there are some themes that are repeated among applicants’ essays. Knowing how to avoid these college admissions essay clichés and stand out from the crowd can tip the scales in your favor, leading to a beautiful, thick acceptance envelope to your first pick arriving in your mailbox (email or even snail mail).

Why You Should Avoid College Admissions Essay Clichés

College admissions essays are 650-word documents that can make or break a student’s admission. A compelling application essay should show passion, purpose, and character—especially empathy and resilience. Colleges need to believe a candidate will be a star in their college communities and ultimately be a good investment in advancing the university’s reputation and esteem. Students need to set themselves apart from a lengthy list of applicants and be remembered for the right reasons, not because they offer yet another cliché essay about being an athlete, scholar, community servant, or child of an inspirational parent. Instead, students need to pique their interest with the unexpected.

So, what exactly is a clichéd essay topic? According to Merriam-Webster, it’s a “common thought or idea that has lost all originality, ingenuity, or impact by long overuse.” If you want your application essay to have an impact, you’ll want to learn how to avoid these common clichés.

How to Avoid These 5 College Admissions Essay Clichés

So, what’s the major advice to students crafting these pithy descriptions of what makes them tick? Avoid cliché college admissions essay topics. Paint a picture of your personality and experience. Individuals are unique, so it’s crucial to describe a unique point of view toward these five topics. The topics are predictable, so your approach needs to be distinctive or the admissions officer will toss your essay, and you, aside. Ouch.

Sports—The Big Game

“The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat.” Count the short stories, novels, and movies based on this lesson: the winning basket or home run in the last seconds or inning. They are endless. The popularity of such accounts makes sense because the lessons are inspirational. The problem is these lessons can be formulaic: winning isn’t everything, never give up, practice pays off, being a team player is crucial. The message is predictable, which makes it clichéd. With that being said, I understand how formative these moments may be in the lives of the students I work with. So how can you still write about how your dedication to your sport has positively impacted who you are? Read on.

What to do:

Consider writing about how you turned a negative situation into a positive one. Did your sports injury “force” you into pursuing a special activity you had never tried before? Did the pressure to perform backfire? Think about recounting the unexpected. Make sure your story does not follow the standard “formula” and surprises your readers.

I’m sorry be flippant about this, but by the time students apply for college, they’ve probably been affected by a death, whether of a parent, grandparent, friend, or pet. These experiences often affect us profoundly and shape our character. Unfortunately, writing about them often results in trite lessons, such as “make each day count” or “life is too short.” And often the approach to the topic is too broad.

What to do: 

Focus on a specific way in which the death changed your life, such as altering your role in the family. Did a profound awareness of a disease turn you into an active advocate or fundraiser?

Added note: Other Ds—divorce, depression—also fall into this category.

Immigration

Immigrant stories in the U.S are plentiful. We are, after all, the land of the dreamers. So, you had to learn a new language—so, you had to figure out how to fit in—so, you had to adjust to a new lifestyle—you and thousands of others. That is not to discount how challenging it can be to make a new place your home, but how is your experience different?

Be specific. Choose a stand-out moment of conflict or distinctive experience and put the admissions officer in your shoes. For example, what was the dialogue between you and your new best American friend about the 4 th of July? Or maybe you can freeze the moment when your neighbor launched a slur into your ears.

So, you adore your mom—you and everyone else (at least many students). While a student’s personal relationship with a parent, teacher, or coach is just that—personal—the way the student tells the story is the key to standing out. Simply being influenced by someone is not special, and the influence is often predictable: self-discovery, life discovery, world discovery.

The focus needs to be on the student, not totally on the role model, unless Mom is the first female whatever and Grandpa is the inventor of the latest gizmo.

Focus on how you exemplified a quality you admire in another person. How are you trying to model someone else’s ethics?

Community Service

So, you volunteered—so what? Community service is pretty much a requirement for high school students these days, so the act of volunteering alone doesn’t show remarkable initiative. So, you volunteered at the local food bank or helped build a house in Nicaragua. Yawn. So have thousands of other students.

Trust me, college admissions officers want to see evidence of compassion, but they don’t want to read yet another essay in which the aha moment is predictable such as:

• I now realize how fortunate I am.
• I didn’t realize such poverty existed.

This approach might also come across as privileged—which is so not impressive and memorable in a negative way.

Zero in on a specific person you helped in a specific way. Recount a conversation you had. Freeze a moment in time. And be sincere.

Bonus Category: Rehashing Your Resume

Never rehash your resume. This is a wasted opportunity because you’re only presenting 650 words on information that appears somewhere else in your application—your activities, your grades, your test scores.

Bonus Tip: Avoid Cliché Language

Scratch off lessons learned such as:

• Don’t judge a book by its cover.
• If at once you don’t succeed, try, try again.
• Never bite off more than you can chew.
• Never give up.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
• When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Avoiding these cliché topics and phrases will keep admissions officers from nodding off or rolling their eyes. Be original. And don’t forget to start working on essays early (like, now ), get help, and develop a plan.

Are you gearing up to tackle a stack of college applications but are stuck on creating your starworthy college admissions essay? The Savvy Red Pen offers a  full line of student services  to guide you along the way. Contact us today to see how we can help!

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Reuse or Recycle: How to Manage College Essay Material

The key to the college admission process is being as efficient as possible. Here's how to be smart about organizing and reusing essay materials for multiple schools.

by José Iván Román College Admission Consultant, Solomon Admissions

Last Updated: Mar 16, 2023

Originally Posted: Jun 22, 2021

The college application process can be an overwhelming experience: you have to draft numerous versions of your personal statements and supplemental essays, refine the content of your activities list, and research various schools while also working on rigorous class assignments, tests, and final projects. And don’t forget the demands of your extracurricular activities and other commitments with family and friends. As Early Action and Early Decision application deadlines draw near, you’ll likely feel exhausted and stressed. 

Navigating the admission process is like managing a major project—there are many moving parts that require a great deal of attention. The Common Application exists in part because universities recognize the value of streamlining this process. Effective project management could be a stress reliever for any applicant, and you can start by streamlining your college essays. You may have several more applications to prepare, but you can be confident in your ability to pull through the remainder of the application process by reusing certain essay material efficiently. Here’s how! 

Adapting essay material

It makes sense for your Common App personal statement to remain the same for every school receiving a copy of your application. Customizing a personal statement for each school would defeat the practical purpose of the Common App. On the other hand, would it be beneficial or advisable to recycle your supplemental essays? You should develop your own system for structuring each essay that grants you the flexibility of customizing for each school receiving your application. There are two major categories of essay material:

• Biographical
• School s pecific

Biographical material offers experiences and reflections that are unique to an applicant ’ s character, while school-specific material addresses unique characteristics of a college that connect with the applicant ’ s values and interests. You may notice your early application essays already have quality blocks of biographical content that you can fluidly adapt for future essays. 

Carefully review each essay prompt for any school you’re applying to and determine if any essays require school-specific content. It could be that the same essay can be adapted to address the questions or prompts for various schools; however, you can improve the quality and impact of each essay by incorporating material that’s unique to each school. Streamline this process by creating a structure for your essays that allows you to predictably manage your school-specific content. For example, connect with each school ’ s unique traditions, programs, campus culture, surrounding neighborhoods, etc. You could potentially save precious time and mental energy by applying a consistent structure to your essays. 

Related: Video: College Essay Q&A With Expert Kim Lifton

Proofread your work

Application reviewers are experienced and pick up on many nuances. It’s imperative to do your research on each school. Be sure to reference the appropriate school ’ s programs, institutes, offerings, traditions, etc.If you wish to use similar essays for multiple schools, be sure to proofread them carefully prior to final submission . It’s in your best interest to not accidentally include the name of the wrong school in any of your essays. This advice might seem intuitive, but it’s easy to overlook these small details when you’re rushing to meet application deadlines. Although it’s not necessarily a disqualifying error, including the name of the wrong school in an essay certainly doesn’t give a good impression or make the admission process easier for you. Admission committees understand that we’re all human and are likely to make mistakes; nevertheless, they appreciate the courtesy and respect of applicants who follow instructions and proofread their work carefully.

Trust your approach

The college admission process can challenge a student ’ s stamina and spirit. Many hopeful students pour their souls into their applications, particularly the essays. As with many long-term projects, the earlier you tackle the most demanding tasks, the more manageable the process will become later in the timeline. One way to set yourself up for success is by indexing your essay material in a way that allows you to search and identify content in an efficient manner. This approach to managing essay material doesn’t suggest reusing or recycling entire essays verbatim. Stay true to your authenticity while remaining practical. 

Related: College Application Essays: Our Best Advice

Colleges and universities expect the most competitive candidates to be exceptional in their ability to manage time, prioritize commitments, and leverage resources. The college application process is a major test of a candidate's management skills. By remaining earnest and organized, you can be confident in your approach to the process. 

Check out the articles in our College Admission section for more expert advice on college essays.

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About José Iván Román

Jos é Iván Román is a College Admission Consultant at  Solomon Admissions . He previously served as an academic advisor at Northeastern University for six years, where he advised students in the University Honors Program, the College of Health Sciences, and the College of Engineering. As Assistant Director of the Northeastern University Honors Program, Jos é Iván contributed to developing and overseeing programs for high-achieving students, including research opportunities, co-op and extracurricular programming, and scholarships.

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When you apply to colleges, you will do plenty of writing. Aside from filling in information and completing a resume, you will have to write essays or short answers based on prompts universities give you. Looking at college essay examples can be a helpful way to prepare for this important part of the application.

Generally, your college entrance essays are meant to convey something about you that could not be known from other parts of your application. For example, your essays should do more than show you are a hard worker because good grades and a busy resume already do this. Some essays for college will ask for something very specific. For example, the “why this college” essay tries to gauge your knowledge and commitment to the institution. For the personal essay on the Common Application, expectations are less clear. This is a college essay about yourself, and you will submit one for all schools that require the Common Application . 

The Common App essay is supposed to give admissions officers a sense of your personality. This is a chance to make you stand out in a way that other parts of the application could not. That being said, the best college essays do more than just display the author’s quirks but create a picture of a dynamic person who offers something to a college community. This will help set you apart during the college admissions committee review process . 

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4 winning college application essay examples that can help you get admitted

Here are some examples of college essays that worked. Pay attention to how students used one part of who they are (a memory, their background, a challenge) to paint a larger picture. Overall, this is a great way to communicate a lot of information in a relatively small space. 

College essay example #1

This first essay was submitted to Harvard University during the 2021 college admissions cycle: 

When I was a child, I begged my parents for my very own Brother PT-1400 P-Touch Handheld Label Maker to fulfill all of my labeling needs. Other kids had Nintendos and would spend their free time with Mario and Luigi. While they pummeled their video game controllers furiously, the pads of their thumbs dancing across their joysticks, I would type out labels on my industrial-standard P-Touch with just as much zeal. I labeled everything imaginable, dividing hundreds of pens into Ziploc bags by color, then rubber-banding them by point size. The finishing touch, of course, was always a glossy, three-eighths-inch-wide tag, freshly churned out from my handheld labeler and decisively pasted upon the numerous plastic bags I had successfully compiled.

Labeling became therapeutic for me; organizing my surroundings into specific groups to be labeled provides me with a sense of stability. I may not physically need the shiny color-coded label verifying the contents of a plastic bag as BLUE HIGHLIGHTERS—FAT, to identify them as such, but seeing these classifications so plainly allows me to appreciate the reliability of my categorizations. There are no exceptions when I label the top ledge of my bookshelf as containing works from ACHEBE, CHINUA TO CONRAD, JOSEPH. Each book is either filtered into that category or placed definitively into another one. Yet, such consistency only exists in these inanimate objects.

Thus, the break in my role as a labeler comes when I interact with people. Their lives are too complicated, their personalities too intricate for me to resolutely summarize in a few words or even with the 26.2 feet of laminated adhesive tape compatible with my label maker. I have learned that a thin line exists between labeling and just being judgmental when evaluating individuals. I can hardly superficially characterize others as simply as I do my material possessions because people refuse to be so cleanly separated and compartmentalized. My sister Joyce jokes freely and talks with me for hours about everything from the disturbing popularity of vampires in pop culture to cubic watermelons, yet those who don’t know her well usually think of her as timid and introverted. My mother is sometimes my biggest supporter, spouting words of encouragement and, at other instances, my most unrelenting critic. The overlap becomes too indistinct, the contradictions too apparent, even as I attempt to classify those people in the world whom I know best.

Neither would I want others to be predictable enough for me to label. The real joy in human interaction lies in the excitement of the unknown. Overturning expectations can be necessary to preserving the vitality of relationships. If I were never surprised by the behaviors of those around me, my biggest source of entertainment would vanish. For all my love of order when it comes to my room, I don’t want myself, or the people with whom I interact, to fit squarely into any one category. I meticulously follow directions to the millimeter in the chemistry lab but measure ingredients by pinches and dashes in the comfort of my kitchen. I’m a self-proclaimed grammar Nazi, but I’ll admit e. e. cummings’s irreverence does appeal. I’ll chart my television show schedule on Excel, but I would never dream of confronting my chores with as much organization. I even call myself a labeler, but not when it comes to people. As Walt Whitman might put it, “Do I contradict myself? / Very well, then I contradict myself, / (I am large, I contain multitudes.).”

I therefore refrain from the temptation to label—despite it being an act that makes me feel so fulfilled when applied to physical objects—when real people are the subjects. The consequences of premature labeling are too great, the risk of inaccuracy too high because, most of the time, not even the hundreds of alphanumeric digits and symbols available for entry on my P-Touch can effectively describe who an individual really is.

A pleasure to read, filled with witty remarks and earnest self-reflection. This essay uses humor, along with meticulous attention to detail, to convey certain personal truths. The opening anecdote demonstrates the student’s passion for order and organization, while the second half of this essay shows the student’s willingness to contradict themself to engage with others meaningfully. 

Not only is this essay creative and entertaining, but it also demonstrates how this student is eager to challenge themself and embrace a wide variety of perspectives. Furthermore, the specific details this student includes, especially their literary references, help express their academic interests and values. Overall, this essay is witty, creative, and memorable, while engaging in a larger meaningful discussion.

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College essay example #2.

This second essay was submitted to Hamilton College during the 2021 college admissions cycle: 

I dreaded their arrival. The tyrannical cicadas swarmed DC and neighboring areas in 1987, 2004, and again in 2021. I was freaking about Brood X, the worst of them all. Brood X is a cluster of cicadas that descend on Washington, D.C., every 17 years. I live in the epicenter of their swarm. Cicadas battled with mosquitoes for first place in the top tier of the human annoyance pyramid. I hate these off-brand cockroaches.

For 17 years, cicadas live underground feasting off of sap, running free of danger. Then, they emerge and face the real world. That sounds familiar. I have lived in the same house, in the same town, for 17 years, with my parents feeding me pasta and keeping me safe.

Is it conceivable that I have more in common with cicadas than I previously thought? Cicadas have beady, red eyes. After a year of enduring Zoom classes, attending tele-health appointments, and spending too much time on social media and video games, I too feel a little blurry-eyed and disoriented. But what about their incessant hum and perpetual noise? That is not me. OK, maybe I do make protein shakes with a noisy blender at all hours of the day. Maybe I do FaceTime vehemently with friends, blare music while I shower, and constantly kick a ball around both inside the house and out.

At least I do not leave damaged wings, shedded skin, or rotting carcasses everywhere. Smelly soccer socks on the clean carpet after a long practice? Check. Pools of turf in the mudroom after sliding all over the field? You got it. Dirty dishes and trail mix stains after accidentally sitting on a mislaid M&M are hardly as abhorrent as cicada remains, right?

The more I reflected, the more I realized these bugs and I are more alike than different. After 17 years of being cooped up, we are both antsy to face new experiences. Of course, cicadas want to broaden their wings, fly, and explore the world, even if it means clumsily colliding into people’s faces, telephone poles, and parked cars. Just like I want to shed my skin and escape to college, even if it means getting lost on campus or ruining a whole load of laundry. Despite all my newbie attributes, I am proceeding to the next phase of my life whether I am ready or not.

Only the hardiest of cicadas survive their emergence and make it to trees to mate, lay eggs, and ensure the existence of their species. I want to be a tenacious Brood X cicada. I will know what it means to travel into the wrong classroom before getting laughed at, bump into an upperclassman before dropping textbooks everywhere, fail an exam after thinking I aced it. I may even become the cicada of the lecture hall by asking a professor for permission to go to the bathroom. Like cicadas, I will need time to learn how to learn.

No matter what challenge I undergo that exposes and channels my inner-cicada, novice thought process, I will regroup and continue to soar toward the ultimate goal of thriving in college.

When I look beyond our beady red eyes, round-the-clock botherment, and messy trails, I now understand there is room for all creatures to grow, both cicadas and humans. Cicadas certainly are on to something … Seventeen years is the perfect amount of time to emerge and get ready to fly.

This essay uses a humorous extended metaphor to express their eagerness to attend college — as well as their inner trepidations. Mostly this essay is about resiliency and embracing change. What makes this essay stand out, however, is its subject matter. By comparing themself to a cicada, an organism they’ve already admitted to strongly disliking, the student demonstrates humor, humility, and a willingness to approach the world with creativity and curiosity. 

While this essay isn’t necessarily about a particular interest or experience, it characterizes the student exceedingly well. Overall, this essay is memorable and creative, using humor and humility to express a greater truth about how this student views themself and how they approach their surroundings. 

College essay example #3

This third essay was submitted to Tufts College  during the 2019 college admissions cycle: 

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry’s “Cars and Trucks and Things That Go,” and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn’t allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn’t expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find — with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials “RK-1” — that cyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB’s, and students’ apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody’s surprise). Ironically, it’s through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry’s book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I’m learning that it isn’t the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek — I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

This essay uses a humorous childhood anecdote to introduce an impressive series of scientific projects and inquiries. As evident through their various scientific projects, this student is very talented and driven. Furthermore, by periodically revisiting the playful language of the opening anecdote, the student’s scientific achievements are further emphasized through its contrasting language and tone. 

Overall, this essay strikes a really good balance between playful and scientific language, which ultimately ties into the student’s parting conclusion that they want to use their love of storytelling to make scientific discoveries more accessible to a wider audience. This essay is memorable, highly detailed, and leaves a lasting impression. 

College essay example #4

This final essay was submitted to John Hopkins University as a part of the 2018 college admissions cycle: 

The sound was loud and discordant, like a hurricane, high notes and low notes mixing together in an audible mess. It was as if a thousand booming foghorns were in a shouting match with sirens. Unlike me, this was a little abrasive and loud. I liked it. It was completely unexpected and extremely fun to play.

Some instruments are built to make multiple notes, like a piano. A saxophone on the other hand doesn’t play chords but single notes through one vibrating reed. However, I discovered that you can play multiple notes simultaneously on the saxophone. While practicing a concert D-flat scale, I messed up a fingering for a low B-flat, and my instrument produced a strange noise with two notes. My band teacher got very excited and exclaimed, “Hey, you just played a polyphonic note!” I like it when accidents lead to discovering new ideas.

I like this polyphonic sound because it reminds me of myself: many things at once. You assume one thing and get another. At school, I am a course scholar in English, but I am also able to amuse others when I come up with wince evoking puns. My math and science teachers expect me to go into engineering, but I’m more excited about making films. Discussing current events with my friends is fun, but I also like to share with them my secrets to cooking a good scotch egg. Even though my last name gives them a hint, the Asian students at our school don’t believe that I’m half Japanese. 

Meanwhile the non-Asians are surprised that I’m also part Welsh. I feel comfortable being unique or thinking differently. As a Student Ambassador this enables me to help freshmen and others who are new to our school feel welcome and accepted. I help the new students know that it’s okay to be themselves.

There is added value in mixing things together. I realized this when my brother and I won an international Kavli Science Foundation contest where we explained the math behind the Pixar movie “Up”. Using stop motion animation we explored the plausibility and science behind lifting a house with helium balloons. I like offering a new view and expanding the way people see things. In many of my videos I combine art with education. I want to continue making films that not only entertain, but also make you think.

A lot of people have a single passion that defines them or have a natural talent for something specific. Like my saxophone I am an instrument, but I can play many notes at once. I’m a scholar and a musician. Quiet but talkative. An athlete and a filmmaker. Careful but spontaneous. A fan of Johnny Cash and Kill The Noise. Hard-working but playful. A martial artist and a baker. One of a kind but an identical twin.

Will polyphonic notes resonate in college? Yes. For instance, balancing a creative narrative with scientific facts will make a more believable story. I want to bring together different kinds of students (such as music, film, and English majors) to create more meaningful art. Understanding fellow students’ perspective, talents, and ideas are what build a great community.

I’m looking forward to discovering my place in the world by combining various interests. Who I am doesn’t always harmonize and may seem like nothing but noise to some. But what I play, no matter how discordant, can be beautiful. It’s my own unique polyphonic note.

The opening anecdote is unique, engaging, and succinct. It also allows the student to include a lot of personal details and interests in a way that feels natural and matches the tone of the opening anecdote. In less than a page, we learn that this student is a musician, athlete, filmmaker, jokester, twin, martial artist, baker, lover of literature, and twin. We also learn that the student is half-Japanese, half-Welsh, and has learned to embrace her cultural differences and personal nuances while encouraging others to do the same. The upbeat, excitable tone of this essay also helps characterize this student as well as demonstrate how she would enhance the school’s campus culture. 

Key takeaways from college essay examples

Writing a successful personal statement is a key factor in holistic college admissions practices . This is because your personal statement is your opportunity to share more about who you are as a person and what you’re passionate about. Every year thousands of qualified students apply to highly-selective colleges, such as Ivy League institutions , but only a small fraction of students are admitted. So how do you stand out in a pool of equally qualified applicants? Your personal statement. 

This is why it is important to learn more about components of a strong personal statement , as well as overused college essay topics that are best to avoid. Reading examples of successful Common App essays is a great way to start thinking about how to best approach your college essays. By identifying key strategies and characteristics that helped set these essay examples apart, you are one step closer to writing your own successful personal statement.

Need college essay help?

Prepory offers a college admissions essay help package to assist high school students with the most important part of the college application process. Our expert editors have degrees in writing, attended elite colleges and universities, and have hundreds of success stories editing college essays. Our college essay review process goes further than editing for a missing comma or period. We dig deep to learn more about who you are and what you want to tell admissions officers. 

Our college admissions team helps students write compelling college essays and construct, edit, and flesh out their resumes, too! If you feel like you could benefit from professional guidance during this college application season, reach out to learn more about our services .

• November 7, 2022
• College Admissions , Common App

4 Winning College Essay Examples from Top Schools

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