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Guest Essay

A ‘Broken Home’ Didn’t Break Me, or My Kids

By Joyce Maynard

Ms. Maynard’s newest novel, “Count the Ways” — the story of a marriage and a divorce and the children who survived it — will be published this month.

At the time my first husband and I parted — 1989, in our 30s, after 12 years of marriage — a hugely popular book about the negative impact of divorce on children was going the rounds on the talk show circuit. Its author — a psychologist who’d conducted a study on the children of divorced couples from Marin County, Calif. — suggested that for children whose parents split up, the damage could endure for decades. No terror I could have imagined at the time held more power than the psychologist’s dire prediction, that children deprived of the opportunity to grow up in “an intact family” would suffer low performance in school, difficulty in making commitments and forming healthy relationships, and a high incidence of divorce.

More than 30 years later — with both of us deep into our 60s and all three of our children older, now, than their father and I were when we parted — I mark what would have been my 44th wedding anniversary solo and with wistful acceptance. I spend it reflecting on the legacy of my divorce — not only for the two of us, but for the children our marriage produced. Some of these lessons took a few decades to reach me.

I was 23 on my wedding day; my husband, 25. What did I know of marriage? My parents had divorced five years before, and still, the bitterness between them was so great that when they met up at my wedding they could not speak to each other.

I was 24 when our daughter was born. By the time I was 30, we had three children under age 6. Falling in love hadn’t proved difficult. Parenthood never daunted me. It was the part about being a couple and building a life together that did us in. My ideas of love came from the lyrics of popular songs and television: Donna Reed, standing in the doorway looking troubled, after seeing her husband head off to work with his leather briefcase. A moment later he’s back. He forgot to kiss her goodbye.

The seams that bound my husband and me together began unraveling early on. There was a time when I would have blamed him for much of what went wrong, but what I’d say now is that we were both too young to even know ourselves, much less each other. We knew how to meet a child’s needs but not so well those of our partner.

I can no longer remember much of what we fought about. Who washed the dishes, probably. On a deeper level, though, we were simply two enormously different people incapable of offering our partner what that person most needed — for me, connection. For him, space.

Our children were 5, 7 and 11 when we told them we were getting a divorce. Even now the picture haunts me, of the three of them lined up along the couch — the place where we’d wept over “Old Yeller” or snuggled under a blanket reading stacks of library books. That night we told them all the things parents do at these moments: We’ll always love you. We’ll always care for each other.

I can still see their faces, not buying it.

All those years I’d spent up until then, trying to protect my children from small sorrows and losses — the disappointment of not getting invited to a birthday party, the heartbreak of a lost barrette, a broken truck. Now their father and I hadn’t simply failed to protect them from grief; we’d caused it. We were sending them into a life of weekend visits — paper bags filled with baseball gloves and homework assignments, a calendar on the refrigerator with the dates marked for when they’d go to one house, when they’d go to the other.

Children from a broken home . That would be them now.

If there is such a thing as a good divorce, ours wasn’t one. My bitterness hung on for way too long. Fights about money, fights about who got which vacation. And about none of those things. When you have loved a person and made a family with him and pinned on that family your largest and most hopeful dreams for the future — and it falls apart — there’s likely to be a mountain of grief, also anger. Sometimes I succeeded in concealing mine. Often, I did not.

I also carried guilt and worry with me. How would my children’s lives be different if their father and I had stayed together? And, a separate and different question: How would their lives be different if we had not simply stayed together for their sake as some unhappy couples do, but actually managed to keep loving each other well? By failing to provide my beloved children the model of a happy marriage between their parents, perhaps I had deprived them of the essential element that they needed to make strong marriages of their own.

What we both did was to make good lives for ourselves, true to who we were, while loving our children with our whole hearts. Despite the dire predictions that haunted me long ago, all three have made loving and committed relationships that have produced two grandchildren so far. Our children may be tougher in certain ways than those who grew up in the safe embrace of two parents loving each other well, under the same roof. More cynical, maybe. Having recognized long ago that their parents were capable of terrible mistakes, they’re less inclined to view either their father or me as the source of ultimate comfort or stability.

They witnessed, firsthand, our greatest failure, and they love us anyway. There is sadness in this, but it laid the groundwork for a different kind of gift: self-reliance.

Their father remarried, had another child, whom my three love greatly and call simply their brother. I remarried too, but lost my second husband to cancer five years ago. Now here we all are — hardly unscathed, but that’s true of just about any family I know.

If, at age 67, I could speak to the woman I was, at 35, on the day of my 12th wedding anniversary, what would I tell her?

I would urge my younger self to be more accepting, more forgiving — to let small grievances fall away. Talk less, listen more , I would tell her. Admit your mistakes before accusing anyone of his.

And I would have said this to that young woman I once was: As much as you need to forgive your partner, you need to forgive yourself as well. No parent shoulders full responsibility for her child’s future sorrows or pain. To suppose that my divorce could set my children’s future in stone was an exaggeration of my powers as a parent. In the end, each of us charts our own path.

When I was visiting my daughter recently, her father and his wife stopped by. Thirty-two years ago, I could not have imagined this, but we embraced for a moment. I could still see, in the face of the 69-year-old man, the 25-year-old husband of my youth.

“Do you realize we’ve known each other 50 years now?” I asked him, indulging in a momentary nostalgia. Only a couple of other people exist who can say that to either of us.

The man I used to be married to registered this in the same inscrutable fashion that used to make me feel so alone — a nod — but his silence no longer bothered me. We function differently, that’s all. That’s one of the ten thousand reasons we couldn’t stay married.

Our daughter, witnessing this moment between the two of us, knowing us well, loving and accepting us, just smiled.

Joyce Maynard’s newest novel, “Count the Ways” — the story of a marriage and a divorce and the children who survived it — will be published this month.

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

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Personal Narrative Essay: Child of Divorce

As a kid, I used to have a lot of birthday parties. The corn maze, animal shelters, and indoor playgrounds housed the big events of my weekend. To someone looking in, especially to the kids attending the parties, this seems amazing. But these parties were a competition between my parents. I am a child of divorce. After the split, I lost ownership of my childhood, it was no longer my own. It was my parents’ property, a weapon against each other.

When I was younger I counted down the hours until I could return home and tell my family about my day. Walking through the door, I could drop the stresses from the day and just have fun. The older I got, the more my parents fought and that relief I once felt from coming home turned into dread. Coming home every day became a burden. The happiness I felt at school, completely drained the second I walked through the cold, lonely, beige door. Our home no longer was a place of refuge and relaxation, it was a foreign environment filled with abuse and sadness.

In an effort to accommodate both sides of my family and stop the petty competition, I lost myself. I was always on the periphery of each family, never an insider, as I shuffled between two separate worlds. Even though I didn’t have to experience the arguments firsthand anymore, I knew they were still happening, I knew my parents. My sister and I did see the benefits to their childish feud, ice cream on Fridays at dads, shopping with mom on Sunday. They spoiled us to hurt each other. While we appreciated the gifts, my sister and I knew it wasn’t necessarily for us, we weren’t the motivation behind the acts, they’re lust for the title of “best parent” was. I don’t even think either of them wanted to be the best parent, they just wanted something to hold over the other's head, a final “screw you” if you will. 

Holidays were like the golden star your teacher gives you for doing a good job on your paper for my parents. Any time their rivalry cooled off for a while, it would heat back up during times of celebration. Fights over whose turn it was to have us for Christmas were the most brutal. They both would plan things neither my sister nor I agreed to in hopes the “irreversible plans” and “no refunds” would lead them to their victory of the year. 

Individuals I cared about were never in the same room with each other, and many of them had no idea who the other was. Because I had to spend time with one family over the other, I missed out on events and celebrations from the losing side, most often the paternal side. Though we longed for the good old days where we had big family gatherings (from all sides), we reveled in the fact that we wouldn’t have to pretend to enjoy Auntie Nancy’s casseroles anymore. Avoiding the… traditional ideologies of Uncle Lefty was a nice bonus as well.

Children of divorce learn to deal with inconsistencies and instability, but by the time I was ten, I had had enough. I didn't want to have two homes, two bedrooms, two sets of clothes, two sets of toys, two sets of friends, and two sets of regulations. So I told my father one day that I didn't want to see him anymore. It was a brave but foolish act of defiance. We'll never know whether that was the right decision, but neither of my parents had the objectivity or mental stability required to find a more positive answer at the time. 

As a result, things turned out the way they did. The long-dormant power battle between my parents exploded once more, this time directed at me. I was the one who caused the squabble this time. I was blamed in one house and a victim in the other. There was no longer any need for multiple birthday celebrations. Instead, one house had stability and consistency, while the other had wrath and avoidance. Choice has repercussions, and as time passed, I lost touch with my father's family. It's difficult to maintain contact with folks who are connected to someone we've pushed away. However, at this point in my life, I had grown tired of birthdays and holidays, and weekends. I was through with feeling like the reason for the endless battle between my parents so, sadly, I had to become the bigger person. Call it “oldest child syndrome” if you will. 

My mother remarried and I met new cousins. My dad started dating and I met kids my age through their mothers. The other children involved provided a sense of comfort for my sister and I, like we had people, our age, who knew what we were going through. It was new to all of us and brought us together in the process. I was introduced to new holiday traditions and family routines, I was exposed to a whole new perspective that I never would have got to experience without my parents splitting. 

For a long time, life was still. My sister and I were done shuffling back and forth and stability was somewhat restored. Then, age started catching up to several people on my dad's side of the family and I became overwhelmed with guilt. Why hadn’t I called? How could I have avoided them? They are still my family. I realized I was feeding into the same game I despised growing up, I completely ignored my family to keep my life stable. 

I would have loved to stop by and visit, but it would not have gone over well with my mother. Instead, I went around to everyone on my own. I'd strike up a conversation and feel like an outsider. I was always the obnoxious visitor, never the friendly host. 

Although we are connected on social media, my mother is still the only one who acknowledges my existence. I still talk with my dad but rarely am allowed to visit. I make sure to call the relatives I can’t easily, physically see. It makes me upset when I learn that a family member went through town but didn't call, but I realize that they don't call because they don't know who I am. I was never a regular visitor to them. I was only around for a couple of Christmases in my life. Although they were my family, I was never one of them. They have no idea that they are simply one of several persons from four distinct families with whom I have lost contact.

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The Impact of Divorce on Children

Why growing up in two homes is so hard, and what can help..

Posted August 4, 2022 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

• The Challenges of Divorce
• Find a therapist to heal from a divorce
• Ongoing conflict between parents after they split up is deeply unsettling for children.
• Except under extreme circumstances, children are much better off keeping regular, ongoing contact with both parents.
• Divorced parents should try to co-parent together in a constructive, cooperative, and respectful way.

Nearly half of married couples in the United States eventually get divorced , according to some estimates. Because it occurs so often, it’s easy to forget just how difficult and traumatic divorce can be for children. Research published by sociologist Lisa Strohschein showed that, even before marital breakup, children whose parents later divorce exhibit higher levels of anxiety , depression , and antisocial behavior than peers whose parents remain married. There is a further increase in anxiety and depression in children when parents do divorce. U.S.-based psychologist Sharlene Wolchik and colleagues found that parental divorce is associated with significant risks for children and adolescents, including substance abuse and addictions, mental and physical health problems, and poor educational outcomes.

Traumatic Loss of Divorce

There is not always enough support or even acknowledgment of what a traumatic loss divorce can be for couples and their children. Whatever the reasons for the split, there are usually feelings of grief , sadness, anger , betrayal, guilt , and shame . Marital breakdown can leave both parents feeling devastated, and the stress can evoke primitive and powerful feelings of abandonment, isolation, and fear . This can lead to anxiety or depression. It's not easy to give your children what they need when you are highly vulnerable and emotionally fragile. Practically and logistically, things can be harder for you and your children when a marriage breaks down. Divorce often brings financial strain and social difficulty. Children can believe themselves to be the cause of their parents’ divorce. Guilt and shame can make them feel worthless, anxious, and depressed. Every part of their lives—living arrangements, extra-murals, decisions about schooling, and holidays—can be fraught with conflict if the parents are not able to co-operate with one another.

You might not like or trust your ex, especially early on in the separation and divorce process. It can feel deeply painful and upsetting as well to be separated from your children while they are in the care of their other parent—quite possibly your least favourite person under the circumstances. There may be realistic concerns—sometimes related to the use of drugs or alcohol —about the safety of children in the care of your ex. Some parents even worry about different kinds of abuse when their children are with the other parent. But, for the most part, the children have to find a safe place for themselves in two separate homes. It is essential that they are helped to feel at home in both places. It can sometimes even be a relief, after a divorce, for children to be in an environment where there is peace and an absence of tension.

Parents at War

When their mother and father are in enemy camps, a child has to try to figure out who is right and who is wrong, who is "good" and who is "bad." If a mother believes, for example, that her ex-husband is dangerous or evil, a child might feel unsafe and mistrustful of his father. The child might reject the father to keep himself and his mother psychologically safe. It can be hard for a child to love and trust a parent who is hated by the other.

Kate Scharff, author of Divorce and Parenting Wars , writes that the legal system often brings a highly adversarial tone to divorce. Unless your circumstances are such that you can't avoid it, try not to enter into a win/lose battle with an ex. Children are almost always victims in this conflict. They can feel torn apart when their parents cannot manage a civil, amicable, respectful dissolution of their marriage. Canadian psychologist Arthur Leonoff explains in his book The Good Divorce why divorce is so difficult for children and what parents and their therapists can do to help them. Preserving the child’s treasured mental image of herself with her two biological parents is vital, according to Leonoff, because this mental image forms the basis of the child’s identity .

An important message for parents after marital breakdown is to try to preserve, as much as possible, the ongoing relationship with your ex—who will always, for better and for worse, be your children's other parent. For the sake of your children, try to co-parent together in a constructive, cooperative, and respectful way.

Lisa Strohschein, ‘Parental Divorce and Child Mental Health Trajectories’, Journal of Marriage and Family 67, no. 5 (2005): 1286–1300, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2005.00217.x .

Sharlene A. Wolchik, et al., ‘Developmental Cascade Models of a Parenting-Focused Program for Divorced Families on Mental Health Problems and Substance Use in Emerging Adulthood’, Developmental Psychopathology 28, no. 3 (August 2016): 869–888, doi: 10.1017/S0954579416000365.

Scharff, Kate. ‘Divorce and Parenting Wars’. In Psychoanalytic Couple Psychotherapy: Foundations of Theory and Practice, edited by David E. Scharff and Jill Savege Scharff, 279–294. London: Karnac, 2014.

Arthur Leonoff, The Good Divorce: A Psychoanalyst’s Exploration of Separation, Divorce, and Childcare (London: Routledge, 2018), 71–199.

Jenny Perkel is a clinical psychologist and the author of Children in Mind and Babies in Mind.

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How Divorce Affects Your Children as They Age

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Impacts of Divorce on Childhood

Impacts of divorce on adolescence, impacts of divorce on young adulthood, potential risks for children of divorce.

• Impact on Kids' Future Romantic Relationships
• How to Help Kids Going Through aDivorce

Divorce can be painful for anyone going through it, including the couple and their children. Parents who split up often feel a lot of guilt about inflicting this pain on their children and worry about how their divorce may impact their kids in the short and long term. The hard truth is that statistically, parental divorce increases the risk of adverse outcomes (such as drug use and depression) for kids during the divorce and years later.

Experiencing a parental divorce is very common, as anywhere from 40% to 50% of marriages do not last. In fact, one study found that only around 45% of children whose parents were married at or around the time of their birth reach age 17 with their parents still married.

While there's no question that divorce can be a traumatic life event for children, parents do have the ability to reduce its power to disrupt and harm their kids' lives, says Michael Whitehead , PhD, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist practicing in Twin Falls, Idaho. "The general consensus in the research is the divorce can negatively impact the kids, but it doesn't have to," says Dr. Whitehead. "Ultimately, it depends on the parents and how they interact with their kids ."

Factors like children's age, their relationship with their parents, their parents' parenting style , and the particulars of the divorce all play a role in how a separation impacts a child. Understanding those factors, and how they affect children at different stages of their lives is key to helping mitigate the impact of divorce.

Parental divorce is known to have short and long-term effects on kids of all ages. There are correlations between having your parents split up and developing mental health issues, lower school performance, and negative impact on future relationships, says David Hill , a pediatrician in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, and spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Depending on the child's age and development, children have different abilities to comprehend the reality of what divorce means, why it happened, and how it will impact them, says Dr. Whitehead. The younger the child, the less they will understand, but that doesn't mean the split isn't upsetting to them. In fact, their confusion and the disruption of having to cope with such a big transition can be very stressful .

"Let them know that they will always be safe and loved. Let them know this repeatedly," says Dr. Hill.

Once a child reaches age 8 to 10, they will be able to make better sense of what is happening, says Dr. Whitehead. However, their growing cognitive and logical reasoning skills often lead them to conclude that they are the cause of their parent's divorce. "Children often blame themselves," says Dr. Whitehead. This can lead to low self-esteem , guilt, and sadness.

During the tween and teen years , the impacts of divorce (whether a recent split or one that happened years prior) can continue to be felt, particularly relating to the child's growing independence and need to separate from their parents. Older kids might start to ask more questions about why a divorce took place and may blame one of their parents—or themselves. They may acutely feel the loss of their nuclear family and they may resent that.

Open communication can get harder with adolescents. "Ask your child how they are doing and make space for your child to answer honestly. Normalize your children not feeling ok," says Dr. Hill. "Then, follow up, and see if talking to someone would be helpful. School guidance counseling, peer groups for kids going through a divorce, and family therapy can be very beneficial for teens going through a divorce."

Encourage your child to build stable and nurturing relationships with other people in their life. This can be grandparents, coaches, teammates, teachers, other family members, or friends. "Each safe, stable, and nurturing relationship is protective and a guard against some of the potential negative [effects]," says Dr. Hill.

Remember that how well kids cope varies dramatically—it's very individual and dependent on a number of factors. "The history of trauma within the family, the child’s relationship to both parents and what they saw from that relationship, [the family's] socio-economic status, and cultural preferences, [all play a role]," says Kelly Krawczynski, MA, MFT, a family therapist in West Chester, Pennsylvania. 

If you're concerned about your child's behavior or reaction to divorce, reach out to a local child therapist or your child's healthcare provider to address these issues.

It may be challenging for young adults to cope with navigating any lingering acrimony that may still exist between their parents. They may feel caught in the middle, or like their parents treat them as friends rather than as kids.

"The children should never be the go-between," says Dr. Hill. If information needs to be conveyed or questions answered, parents need to find a different intermediary. Otherwise, children can feel very awkward, stressed, or like they have to take sides or keep information from either parent, "The co-parents should be adult enough to address each other directly and not involve their kids in their issues," Dr. Hill continues.

It can also be upsetting for young adults when their parent badmouths the other to them or wants the child to act as a therapist rather than as their child. Research shows that it's best for kids—even adult children—if their parents keep them out of their drama.

It's important that both parents commit to this. "If either parent isn't following the guidelines, try attending counseling to help to navigate this conversation," says Dr. Hill. "Hearing from an objective person why this is important for the child's well-being can help."

Generally, research shows that children of divorce are more likely to have socio-emotional, academic, and mental health concerns, such as anxiety, stress, depression, insomnia , behavioral issues , challenges in making and keeping friends , and trouble at school . These issues may impact children more acutely in the period around when the parental divorce occurs but also often continue to show up as the child grows.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, approximately 25% of children with divorced parents experience ongoing emotional and behavioral difficulties, as compared to 10% of children whose parents are still together.

"The literature on child separation and divorce can be frightening when you look at it as a parent," says Dr. Hill. "However, it is important to know that that doesn’t have to be your child. The more you can create a stable, loving environment, the more you can protect them from any negative impacts."

More Exposure to Conflict May Increase Adverse Effects

Children who have experienced more parental conflict due to the divorce and/or lasting acrimony between their parents are more likely to exhibit negative repercussions in the short and long term, regardless of their age when the divorce took place.

"Having arguments in front of the child or if the child witnesses something upsetting between the parents increases the risk that the divorce will cause harm to the kids," says Dr. Hill. It's essential to address those experiences in a reassuring way and help your child learn to cope with and process their feelings.

"The heart of the matter lies with the parent-child relationship itself," says Krawczynski. It's key that there is trust and communication and that the child feels as though their own relationship with their parents will not change because of the divorce. "How you guide them through what these words mean can have a major impact on their development," says Krawczynski.

How Divorced Parents Affect Kids' Future Romantic Relationships

Research shows that being a child or adult child of divorce can affect kids' future romantic relationships along with their outlook on marriage and long-term partnerships. Disillusionment about love and marriage can lead some children of divorce to have issues trusting their future partners and maintaining their own relationships, says Dr. Whitehead.

In fact, the divorce rate is higher for children of divorce. Studies show that adults whose parents divorced are less enthusiastic about the institution of marriage, feel less personally committed to their relationships, and have lower confidence in their ability to maintain romantic partnerships.

Sometimes, particularly if their parents had or have a lot of conflict between them and/or openly blame each other for the unraveling of the marriage, the kids may feel destined to repeat that narrative. "They are a blend of both parents, and kids do the math," says Dr. Hill. "If they hear 'you are like your dad' and 'he’s a real jerk,' the kids will complete that for themselves."

Additionally, if they know about such issues as infidelity or domestic violence , they may be even more disillusioned, resentful, or fearful they'll repeat these unhealthy patterns. "You have to acknowledge what they do know and help them cope," says Dr. Hill. You want to assure them that they are their own individual, but don't share every detail.

Ultimately, if their parents interact with them (and each other) in a compassionate, loving, grounded, and understanding manner, then kids can learn to form safe, stable relationships, says Dr. Whitehead.

How to Help Kids Dealing With Their Parents' Divorce

Coping with divorce is hard at any age—and is likely to continue to be painful as kids grow up . That said, there are many ways parents can help kids process their feelings productively and avoid the pitfalls that can impact kids of divorce.

Let Your Child Be Upset

Your child needs to grieve after a divorce and their sad feelings are unlikely to go away quickly. "Give the child space to be upset. As parents, we tend to feel guilty, we want them to be ok and let us know they forgive us. But giving your child space to be upset is a gift," says Dr. Hill

"Kids are going to be sad and feel a loss, that’s inevitable," says Dr. Whitehead. "But the negatives like juvenile delinquency, drug and alcohol use , and teen pregnancy are essentially eliminated if parents are able to act as emotional coaches through a divorce."

Assuage Their Feelings of Guilt

It's also vital that the kids don't feel responsible for their parent's happiness or for the unraveling of the marriage. "Tell them again and again, 'you didn’t do this and there is nothing you could have done to keep it from happening,'" says Dr. Hill. They need to understand that the divorce is not their fault and that there is nothing they can do to make their parents reconsider the divorce. "It's hard for kids to give up the dream of their parents getting back together," says Dr. Hill.

Co-Parent Positively

It's important to cultivate a healthy co-parenting relationship and to foster and value positive relationships with both parents. Avoid blaming the other parent or saying that one parent is good and the other one is bad, says Dr. Whitehead.

"You don’t want to undermine their confidence in your co-parent," says Dr. Hill. "Ideally, preserve the integrity of the child’s love for both parents." While it may be hard, you should try to take the high road. Your children still love both parents—if you tell them the other parent is a bad person, they may take that personally. "They may wonder if they are a bad person or will turn out that way, too," says Dr. Hill.

Reinforce That They Are Loved

Kids may worry if their parents stopped loving each other that they could also stop loving them, too. "Emphasize that we are going to be living in two different places but you are always going to be safe, loved, and cared for," says Dr. Hill.

Get Counseling If Needed

If your child is struggling, don't hesitate to get professional help . The sooner you get them counseling, the sooner they can start to feel better, says Dr. Whitehead. Therapy can also be beneficial to mend the co-parenting relationship.

Unfortunately, you also may need to take the high road and let go of trying to control what the other parent does. "If the co-parent is speaking really negatively about you to your child, your recourse is really limited. Try to appeal to the parent’s understanding of their child’s wellbeing, says Dr. Hill.

Practice Self-Care

One of the most important things is to take care of yourself and make sure that you are in as good a place as you can be. "This is not the time to go it alone, it’s the time to fully utilize your support network and to eat, sleep, rest, and foster mindfulness, prayer, and internal peace," says Dr. Hill.

Stick to a Schedule

Make an effort to continue a routine and keep life as similar as possible, suggests Dr. Hill. Consistency can help kids to feel more secure. Also, avoid getting caught up in being the "fun parent" or in making up for the divorce.

It can be really tempting to try to "win" over the co-parent by letting the kids stay up all night, play video games whenever they want, or eat cake for breakfast, says Dr. Hill, "However, that is not healthy and doesn't address their needs. They need to know that the structure in their lives is stable, predictable, and healthy."

A Word From Verywell

Unfortunately, divorce is very common and children of divorce are known to have higher rates of a variety of adverse outcomes, such as mental health conditions or potentially getting divorced themselves. However, the good news is that their parents can help to reduce these risks by providing a loving, stable home environment. As always, if you have concerns about your child's emotional or mental health, don't hesitate to reach out to their pediatrician, a family therapist, or healthcare provider.

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Children and divorce .

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Marriage and Divorce .

Anderson J. The impact of family structure on the health of children: Effects of divorce . Linacre Q. 2014;81(4):378-87. doi:10.1179/0024363914Z.00000000087

Whitton SW, Rhoades GK, Stanley SM, Markman HJ. Effects of parental divorce on marital commitment and confidence . J Fam Psychol . 2008;22(5):789-793. doi:10.1037/a0012800

American Academy of Pediatrics. Helping families and children deal with divorce and separation .

Whitton SW, Rhoades GK, Stanley SM, Markman HJ. Effects of parental divorce on marital commitment and confidence .  J Fam Psychol . 2008;22(5):789-793. doi: 10.1037/a0012800 .

By Sarah Vanbuskirk Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection, Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy, Marie Claire, and TimeOut NY.

Essays About Divorce: Top 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about divorce can be challenging to write; read on to see our top essay examples and writing prompts to help you get started.

Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. It can be a messy affair, especially if it includes children. Dividing the couple’s assets also often causes chaos when divorce proceedings are in session. 

Divorce also touches and considers religion and tradition. Therefore, laws are formed depending on the country’s history, culture, and belief system.

To help you choose what you want to talk about regarding this topic, here are examples you can read to get an idea of what kind of essay you want to write.

1. Divorce Should Be Legalized in the Philippines by Ernestine Montgomery

2. to divorce or not to divorce by mark ghantous, 3. what if you mess up by manis friedman, 4. divorce: a life-changing experience by writer louie, 5. divorce’s effects on early adult relationships by percy massey, 1. the major reasons for divorce, 2. why i support divorce, 3. my divorce experience, 4. how to avoid divorce, 5. divorce and its effects on my family, 6. the consequences of divorce, 7. divorce laws around the world.

“What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage… Divorce is a choice and we all should have the freedom to make choices… in cases where a union is more harmful than beneficial, a divorce can be benevolent and less hurtful way of severing ties with your partner.”

As the title suggests, Montgomery and his other colleagues discuss why the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country, needs to allow divorce. Then, to strengthen his argument, he mentions that Spain, the root of Christianity, and Italy, where the Vatican City is, administer divorce. 

He also mentions bills, relevant figures, and statistics to make his case in favor of divorce more compelling. Montgomery adds that people who want a divorce don’t necessarily mean they want to marry again, citing other motives such as abuse and marital failure.

“Divorce, being the final step in a detrimental marriage, brings upon the gruesome decision as to whether a married couple wishes to end that once made commitment they had for each other. As opposed to the present, divorce was rare in ancient times…”

Ghantous starts his essay with what divorce means, as not only an end of a commitment but also the termination of legal duties and other obligations of the couple to each other. He then talks about divorce in ancient times, when men had superior control over women and their children. He also mentions Caroline Norton, who fought with English family law that was clearly against women.

“So even though G‑d has rules,… laws,… divine commandments, when you sin, He tells you: ‘You messed up? Try again.’ That’s exactly how you should be married — by treating your spouse the way G‑d treats you. With that much mercy and compassion, that much kindness and consideration.”

Friedman’s essay discusses how the Torah sees marriage and divorce and explains it by recounting a scene with his daughters where they couldn’t follow a recipe. He includes good treatment and forgiveness necessary in spouses. But he also explains that God understands and doesn’t want people in a failed marriage to continue hurting. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment .

“Depending on the reasons that led up to the divorce the effects can vary… I was fourteen years old and the one child that suffered the most emotional damage… My parents did not discuss their reasons for the divorce with me, they didn’t have to, and I knew the reasons.”

The author starts the essay by citing the famous marital promise: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer,” before going in-depth regarding the divorce rate among Americans. He further expounds on how common divorce is, including its legalities. Although divorce has established legal grounds, it doesn’t consider the emotional trauma it will cause, especially for children.

Louie recounts how his life changed when his dad moved out, listing why his parents divorced. He ends the essay by saying society is at fault for commercializing divorce as if it’s the only option.

“With divorce becoming more prevalent, many researchers have taken it upon themselves to explore many aspects of this topic such as evolving attitudes, what causes divorce, and how it effects the outcome of children’s lives.”

Massey examines the causes of divorce and how it impacts children’s well-being by citing many relevant research studies. Some of the things he mentions are the connection between the child’s mental health, behavioral issues, and future relationships. Another is the trauma a child can endure during the divorce proceedings.

He also mentions that some children who had a broken family put marriage on a pedestal. As a result, they do their best to create a better future family and treat their children better.

Top 7 Prompts on Essays About Divorce

After adding to your knowledge about the subject, you’re better prepared to write essays about divorce.

There are many causes of the dissolution of marriage, and many essays have already discussed these reasons. However, you can explain these reasons differently. For example, you can focus on domestic abuse, constant fighting, infidelity, financial issues, etc.

If you want to make your piece stand out, you can include your personal experience, but only if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others. 

If you believe divorce offers a better life for all parties involved, list these benefits and explain them. Then, you can focus on a specific pro of legalizing divorce, such as getting out of an abusive relationship. 

If you want to write an essay to argue against the negative effects of divorce, here’s an excellent guide on how to write an argumentative essay .

This prompt is not only for anyone who has no or sole guardian. If you want to write about the experiences of a child raised by other people or who lives with a single parent, you can interview a friend or anyone willing to talk about their struggles and triumphs even if they didn’t have a set of parents.

Aside from reasons for divorce, you can talk about what makes these reasons more probable. Then, analyze what steps couples can take to avoid it. Such as taking couples’ therapy, weekly family get-together, etc. To make your essay more valuable, weigh in on what makes these tips effective.

Divorce is diverse and has varying effects. There are many elements to its results, and no two sets of factors are precisely the same for two families. 

If you have an intimate experience of how your immediate and extended family dynamic had been affected by divorce, narrate those affairs. Include what it made you and the others around you feel. You might also be interested in these essays about conflict .

This is a broad prompt, but you can narrow it down by focusing on an experience you or a close friend had. You can also interview someone closely related to a divorce case, such as a lawyer, reporter, or researcher. 

If you don’t have any experience with divorce, do not know anyone who had to go through it, or is more interested in its legal aspects, compiles different divorce laws for each country. You can even add a brief history for each law to make the readers understand how they came about.

Are you looking for other topics to write on? Check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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Essay Samples on Divorce

Divorce is a complex and deeply personal process that involves the legal dissolution of a marriage. It marks the end of a once-promising union and triggers a range of emotions, from sadness and anger to relief and newfound independence. Understanding the intricacies of divorce and its effects is crucial when writing college essays about divorce.

How to Write College Essays About Divorce

When exploring the subject of divorce, it is important to delve into the factors that contribute to its occurrence and look at college essays about divorce examples. These can include communication issues, incompatibility, domestic abuse, financial strain, or even external factors such as societal expectations or cultural norms. Discussing these causes helps paint a comprehensive picture of the complexities surrounding divorce.

To provide a well-rounded perspective for an example of college essay about divorce, consider including statistics or research findings related to divorce rates, average durations of marriages, or common age groups affected by divorce. This data can help support your arguments and provide a factual foundation for your essay.

Additionally, it is crucial to examine the legal aspects of divorce. Different jurisdictions have specific laws and regulations governing the process, including property division, alimony, child custody, and visitation rights. Incorporating information about these legal frameworks can add depth to your essay and showcase a comprehensive understanding of divorce proceedings.

While divorce can be emotionally challenging, it also offers opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. Discuss the psychological and emotional impacts divorce can have on individuals, as well as strategies for coping and rebuilding one’s life after the end of a marriage.

Lastly, explore the societal implications of divorce. Analyze how divorce impacts the perception of marriage, family structures, and gender roles. Consider the evolving attitudes towards divorce in different cultures and how society supports or stigmatizes individuals going through this process in the divorce essay example.

Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

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Best topics on Divorce

1. Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

2. Growing Up with Divorced Parents: Discussing the Topic of Divorce With Your Children

3. Growing Up With Divorced Parents: The Impact of Divorce on the Children

4. The Effects Of Divorce On Children

5. The Effects Of Divorce On Children In America

6. The Effects Of Divorce On Children And Young Adolescents

7. The Causes Of Divorce That Lead To The Annulment

8. The Causes Of Divorce And The Ruined Marriages

9. The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

10. The Causes And Effects Of Divorce

11. Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

12. My Personal Opinion On Why Divorce Shouldn’t Be Legalized

13. Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

14. Divorce Rates In Kenya And Means To Reduce Them

15. Divorce Process And Finances In Hennepin County

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What Writing the Story of a Divorce Taught Me About My Own

Joyce maynard on finding compassion through the distance of fiction.

It occurred to me the other day that I’ve been doing the thing I’m doing right now—sitting at my desk, hands on a keyboard, telling a story—for more years than I’ve done just about anything else in my life. Longer than I was my parents’ child, longer than I was married to my children’s father, longer even than I’ve been my children’s mother. It’s not simply what I do, it’s who I am. I was a writer before I married, before I had children, and I have never stopped being one.

Sometimes I write memoir. Sometimes fiction. This month, I’ll publish my tenth novel, and to some readers familiar with my nonfiction writing, the connections between the life I’ve lived and the story of the family in this new novel of mine will bear a certain obvious connection to my own. Sometimes these same people ask me, “how do your children feel about your writing this book?” Well, I love my children as deeply as any parent, but here’s the truth: I do not write to please them. I write to tell the truth.

The story I chose to tell this time around is about a couple—an artist and a writer—who fall in love in the late seventies and raise three children in the country. They make a sweet, good life together in the country, but they lose sight of what they used to love about each other—high on the list, their mutual desire to raise children and make a family, their commitment to being parents.

Their family breaks apart. (They divorce, anyway. I’m not ready to say that a family in which the parents divorce is no longer a family. Just a different kind.)

My children’s father and I were two such people. In love in our twenties. Angry and alienated from each other by our mid-thirties, all memory of what had once been good cancelled out by what got to be terrible. Of all the people for whom this occurrence was painful, maybe it was hardest on our children, who loved us both, and hated what we were doing to each other, as they made their way from one house to the other, Friday nights, and back again, on Sundays, with their brown paper bags full of homework assignments and baseball gloves and stuffed animals and retainers.

Like the parents in my novel, my children’s father and I divorced over thirty years ago. The story I chose to tell in fictional form, this time around, is about five good but flawed individuals. Their New Hampshire farmhouse bears a striking resemblance to the one where our family once made our home. I wanted to explore how each of these characters— characters , mind you, inventions of my imagination—survived the breakup of their family, how that event altered the course of their lives.

But as they tend to, my themes this time around came straight from my life. You could say I know the territory well. Not just the piece of real estate in which the story plays out, but those who made their lives there, including the three who were born on the same bed, under that roof.

Back in the 80’s and 90’s, I used to publish a syndicated column about life in our family. I called it “Domestic Affairs”—and if you read those columns, long ago, some of the things that happen in this new novel of mine might sound familiar. There’s the time the seven-year-old loses the shoe to her new Barbie, and her mother goes more than a little crazy tearing the house apart trying to find it. She simply cannot bear her child’s sorrow. There’s the time, in the first weeks after their separation, when the wife returns to the home of her marriage—where her husband lives now, without her, having fallen in love with someone else—and the two of them silently make love on their old bed, in full recognition of the fact that this will be the last time, ever.

And the time—a year or two down the line—when the wife, hearing from their children about her ex-husband’s plan to sell their children’s picture books at a yard sale, conducts a raid on her old home when he’s away, hauling away bag after bag of books with tears streaming down her face, as if maybe, if she just held onto those books, she might preserve what had already been lost, which was the life they had when their children were little, and everyone climbed into bed together to read Frog and Toad stories, and they believed they’d be together always.

I know this woman. I am her. Or used to be.

Contrary to how it might seem, however, I did not write a memoir about my marriage and divorce and the years that followed. I examined the story of that marriage, that divorce, and the feelings it produced, along with the hard-won lessons I’ve learned over the years since, and I created a work of fiction. From the distance of thirty years, I wanted to look at what happens when two people who once loved each other cease to do so. I wanted to locate compassion for every character in the story of a divorce—every single point of view—in ways I could not have done, when the events in my own life were as raw as a bloody wound. I learned a thing or two, or a thousand, in the decades since my divorce. I wanted to pass it on in the form of this story.

I do not ever offer up advice in what I write. I lay out a story and let my reader come to her own conclusions. The true similarities between my life and my work, this time out, have less to do with Barbie shoes or the rage that leads a woman to smash the buche de noel she just spent hours constructing down the sink. The true part is what divorce does to the people involved. And how, if two people are brave enough, and honest enough, and wise enough, they may surrender their anger and locate a place of loving acceptance.

My novel comes out this week, and when it does I will give a copy to each member of our family. And we are a family, still. The term “broken home” never felt like a description of where we ended up.

It has not bothered me that my children seldom read the books I write. This time, I told the three of them (all well into their thirties now and beyond, in committed partnerships, one with children of his own) that I hope they read this story. I wrote it for all of us. I wrote it for any parent who ever had to sit her children down and deliver the news, “We’re getting a divorce” and any child, of any age, who took in those words long ago and saw her life altered by them forever after.

There is a thing that happens, after a fire burns really bright and hot in a woodstove, where the heat consumes everything, so when you clean out the ashes no trace remains of what fueled the blaze. This is what time and the wisdom of age may provide, for people like myself, for whom the anger and bitterness once seemed inexhaustible.

Then coolness comes. The smoke clears. Even the embers cease to smoulder, and you can look with a clear eye once again—maybe for the first time ever—and say, “we did the best we could.” No relationship that created these children should be seen as a failure. There is no happily-ever-after to any story in which divorce occurs. Somewhere in there, love resided once. Telling the story reminds us. And maybe, once having heard the story, we can lay it to rest.

_____________________________________________

Joyce Maynard’s Count the Ways is available now via William Morrow. 

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Divorce — The Effect Of Growing Up With Divorced Parents On Children

The Effect of Growing Up with Divorced Parents on Children

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Persuasive & Argumentative Essays about Divorce: Free Tips

A divorce is a life-changing experience that affects spouses and their children (if there are any). Since divorce rates are relatively high in modern society, more and more people face this problem nowadays.

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When you are assigned to compose an argumentative essay about divorce, you should be as careful as possible. Remember that the split-up of marriage can be a painful experience for everyone involved.

The article will give you useful advice on how to write an outstanding paper on the topic. Learn the essential features of the following types:

• persuasive essay about divorce,
• for and against essay,
• causes and effects of divorce essay,

Check tips from Custom-writing.org below and write the best paper!

• 💍 How to Write It
• 📂 Essays by Type
• ✒ Causes and Effects

✍️ Divorce Essay Topics

💍 how to write a divorce essay.

The general structure of essays on divorce is quite common:

• introduction;
• conclusion.

Yet, there are some variations of what info to include in the body, depending on the essay type. The following structure is applicable for divorce argumentative essay. To learn about the features of other types, keep on reading our article.

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Argumentative divorce essays are composed according to the standard structure:

1. Thesis Statement about Divorce

A divorce essay introduction isn’t anything extraordinary as you have to introduce your topic and position.

• You should always give broad information about the issue and state the main problems you will discuss in your writing.
• Make a general statement about the consequences of divorce or the common divorce effects on people.
• Then write your thesis statement on divorce. Clearly explain to the audience the topic you’re going to discuss and your position on that topic. In case you find this task difficult, try using a thesis generator for argumentative essay . This will save you some time.

That’s it! Now your divorce essay introduction is ready.

What’s next?

2. Main Body

This section presents all of your ideas and arguments related to the topic of divorce.

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• Here you can write about the adverse effects of divorce on children or the most common reasons people divorce.
• Use compelling arguments and support your ideas with examples.

There are tons of surveys and statistics about divorce on the internet, so it won’t be too challenging to gather the information you need.

3. Conclusion

In the last paragraph, you have to sum up your paper and leave a final expression.

• Summarize every idea presented in your divorce essay.
• Restate your thesis statement on divorce, relying on your reasoning.
• Then list your concluding thoughts on this topic.

Make your sentences clear and easy to follow. Use synonyms to improve your writing style. Such an approach will help you convince the readers and express your thoughts better.

📂 Divorce Essays by Type

The content and reasoning of each paper on divorce depend primarily on the type of essay . See the following sections to understand how to write each of them.

Here are a few types you can consider:

Get an originally-written paper according to your instructions!

Argumentative Essay about Divorce

When it comes to divorce, there are many disputable topics—for example, the reasons people separate or its impact on children. It’s easy to find support and statistics for both issues. And you’ll need them as facts are a crucial part of a divorce argumentative essay.

As a starting point:

Research your idea and choose a side to support. Make sure that among all argumentative essay topics about divorce, you selected the most interesting for yourself. In your thesis statement, concisely express your position, so the reader can quickly get it.

Then, start writing the entire essay. Regardless of what type of paper you are writing—anti or pro divorce argumentative essay—your writing should meet these requirements:

• Base your points on logic;
• Present both sides of the arguments, but support only one;
• Take into consideration counterclaims;
• Support all the arguments by valid evidence;
• Use a calm, informative tone.

Don’t forget to incorporate quotes and figures to convince your readers.

Persuasive Essay about Divorce

What is the goal of writing persuasive essays ? It’s to convince your reader that your position on a particular problem is true.

Therefore, writing this paper means that you should identify an individual problem related to the topic. In the introduction of your persuasive essay about divorce, you should choose your side and deliver it to the reader.

Crucial note:

Similarly to an argumentative essay, you have to provide credible facts to support your position. Yet here, you use them to back up your opinion and persuade your reader.

While composing your persuasive essay about the legalization of divorce, remember its distinctive features:

• Based on emotions;
• Presents only one side of the argument;
• Ignores counterclaims;
• The tone is dynamic, emotionally-charged, and aggressive to some extent.

Cause and Effect Essay on Divorce

Whether it concerns old parents or a young couple, divorce typically has the same causes and effects. You can often see them clearly, even in books or movies.

The essay outline for the causes and effects of divorce essay is quite common:

• Introduction.

In your divorce essay introduction, provide a general background and compose a clear thesis statement. For example, your thesis might look like this:

A divorce, caused by the spouses’ expectations mismatch, results in a lack of communication between children and one of the parents.

In this part of your essay, investigate the cause and effect of divorce, you stated before.

For the given thesis, the main points would be the following:

The primary cause of divorce is the mismatch in the spouses’ expectations from the marriage.

The divorce often results in a lack of children’s interactions with one of the parents.

• Conclusion.

Synthesize all of your arguments and give your audience a space for a further investigation of your issue.

Narrative Essay about Divorce

If your assignment is to write a family essay, you can choose from a wide range of topics. For this purpose, a marriage essay or a divorce essay would be perfect.

In a short paper about your family, it isn’t easy to cover many topics. So choose only one.

Look through some narrative essay topics and select the one you like:

• The story of my divorce: how did I decide to break up with my spouse?
• My life completely changed after my parents divorced.
• How my life looked like before the divorce with my wife/husband and how it looks now.
• The way divorce destroys healthy communication between children and parents in my family.

For and Against Divorce Essay

As you know, both the negative and positive effects of divorce are disputable, making them appealing to discuss. There are many recent studies and relevant statistical data on the topic to help you write such an essay.

This topic would also be great for a speech on divorce.

Wondering what are the for and against divorce arguments? Take a look at the following:

✒ Divorce: Causes and Effects

We have a pleasant bonus for you! Below, you can find useful arguments and insightful ideas that you can use in your papers on divorce. Apply our concepts in any type of essay, adjusting them to your topic.

Divorce essays can cover the following issues:

Generally Known Facts on Divorces

When covering this issue in your persuasive essay on divorce, you will have to cover the problem altogether. Include the common marriage problems that psychologists all over the world study. Use their statistical data on divorces when crafting your argument.

Divorce is quite a broad topic, and you may want to narrow it down. With so much information available, you could write a research paper on divorce without any difficulty.

Statistical Data on Divorces

Good divorce essays should include enough statistical data. It will add more scientific value and reveal your research abilities. Besides, facts and figures present many exciting topics to comment on.

For example:

You can do significant research concerning divorce causes and consequences. Draw a contrast between divorce in several countries, or examine the age and education of people who officially separate more often.

Reasons for Divorces

What does an essay on divorce mean without discussion of its reasons?

Find out different sociologists’ viewpoints on the reasons for divorces. Then underline the cause you consider to be the most truthful one.

You can also provide your own theory on the grounds for divorces in your persuasive essay on divorce. The key point is to prove the accuracy of your statement.

Divorce Prevention Ideas

If there is a problem, there must be some solution. So, think of the possible ways to make a marriage work.

Investigate divorce causes from a scientific point of view. Examine the primary studies that reveal why people actually break up. Also, discuss the precautions that can help married couples avoid significant conflicts.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Parents sometimes forget that their divorce isn’t only about them but also about their children. It causes psychological problems for kids, which you can classify in your paper. Don’t forget to add some statistical data on divorce to support your arguments.

Every child reacts differently to their parents’ breakup. It’s a rare case when divorce consequences are positive, making the effects on kids an urgent topic to discuss.

Positive Effects of Divorce

Sometimes divorce isn’t a catastrophe but rather the only way to heal wounds and begin a new life. Often, people don’t recognize that they need to change their lives for the better. This situation is primarily related to abusive marriages or those with regular cheating.

In these cases, the positive effects of divorce may seem easy to understand. However, psychologists have to make great efforts to persuade people to end their relationships. Write a paper making this same argument.

• Negative outcomes of divorce on children .  
• Connection between divorce and antisocial behavior of children.  
• Family crises and the issue it causes: divorce, remarriage, stepparents, adoption. 
• Effect of divorce on teenagers ’ academic performance.  
• Causes and consequences of divorce . 
• What can be done to decrease divorce rates in America ?  
• Does parental divorce affect the rates of juvenile delinquency ? 
• The most widespread reasons for divorce .  
• Analyze marital success factors and Gottman’s predictors of divorce.  
• Impact of divorce on child’s mental health .  
• Change of divorce law throughout history.  
• Positive and negative changes in children’s behavior after divorce.  
• Divorce : a disaster or a benefit?  
• Is cheating one of the main reasons of divorce?  
• Gender stratification impact on divorce trends.  
• Effect of divorce on family relationship .  
• Do divorced parents change their child-rearing styles ?  
• List of factors typically associated with higher divorce rates .  
• The support required for all the members of divorced and single-parent families . 
• Analyze the reasons for high divorce rates . 
• Does divorce only impact adolescent in a bad way?  
• Effect of poverty on divorce rates.  
• Specifics of divorce in the UAE . 
• Does divorce lead to depression ?  
• Family therapy and its role in decreasing divorce rates.  
• The impact of divorce on children-parents relationship.  
• Evaluation of child custody in divorce proceedings.  
• How to manage the stress of divorce.   
• Effect of divorce on children’s self-esteem.  
• How to minimize the devastating consequences of divorce .  
• Addiction as the reason for divorce.  
• Effective communication in marriage and its role in preventing divorce.  
• Divorce as the only way out of an abusive relationship .  
• Financial issues of divorce and how to overcome them.  
• Parental support is the best way to help children to go through divorce.
• How do adolescents adjust to parental divorce?  
• Do boys and girls react to the parental divorce the same way?  
• Social media can destroy relationship and lead to divorce. 
• Can Christian counseling help couples to resolve their issues and avoid divorce?  
• Poverty among divorced women.  
• Young marriage has more chances to break-up.  
• Respect is the best way to get marriage satisfaction and avoid divorce.  
• Is interfaith marriage doomed to divorce? 
• Why a successful marriage may end in divorce?  
• Marriage contract will help to facilitate the legal side of divorce process.  
• Reduction of the number of divorces . 
• Personal development after divorce.  
• How family relationships influence future marriage and divorce chances of children. 
•   Child support in case of marriage divorce.  
• Will lack of family and work balance definitely result in divorce?  

If you are stuck on writing, you can always ask us for help! Whether you need a persuasive essay on divorce or any other paper, we are here and ready to assist.

Thanks for reading the article! Share it with friends who may need our tips or assistance.

Further reading:

• Top Ideas for Argumentative or Persuasive Essay Topics
• Best Argumentative Research Paper Topics
• 197 Inspirational & Motivational Argumentative Essay Topics
• Gun Control Essay: How-to Guide + Argumentative Topics
• Proposal Essay Topics and Ideas – Easy and Interesting
• Free Exemplification Essay Examples

🔗 References

• Essay Introductions
• Transitional Words and Phrases
• Argumentative Paper Format
• The Writing Process
• Divorce Argument Essay: Bartleby
• Cause and Effect Essay: The Online Writing Lab (OWL) at Roane State Community College and UNC at Chapel Hill Writing Center
• Counterargument: Gordon Harvey, the Writing Center at Harvard University
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Effects of Divorce on Children essay

From the past to present, people all over the world have been determined to live together, which is called “marriage” in another word, so that they depend on for living with each other. Nevertheless, some couples are unable to maintain their relationship; therefore they choose divorce, which is one of the solutions to cope with problems between husband and wife. Furthermore, most people think carefully before they get marriage. However, the divorce rates trend to continually increase nowadays, thus it might be argued that divorces can be taken place easier than the past.

There are three main causes of divorce: changing woman’s roles, stress in modern living and lack of communication, which are highlighted below. The first significant cause of recent rise in the rates of divorce is that women completely change in roles. In the past, men have to earn whole money to afford the expense of family, whereas woman only do housework, hence women have no money leading to depend on husbands’ money. Because of these situations, it is too difficult for most women to separate from their husbands. Nonetheless, these situations entirely change nowadays.

The equality between men and women in roles are very clear at the moment, thus women can work outside to earn money, while men share the household tasks such as cooking, cleaning, washing as well as caring for children. It can be clearly seen that women are independent from money as they can earn money by them to support their living cost. Accordingly, the divorce rates rise. Another cause to confirm the recent increase in divorce rates is stress in modern living. Many people, who live in globalization, have considerable pressures to earn money.

It can be obviously seen that the stress has occurred since they are children. For instance, in Thailand, students generally want to go to famous school so that they take advantage to go to well-known universities. Studying in celebrated universities mostly causes having a good opportunity to find a job or earn a lot of money. This circumstance not only happens in Thailand, but also occurs in many countries. Some people are laid off from their companies; consequently the stress occurs in their family, which leads to divorce.

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• Divorce Have Long -Term Damaging Effects On Children essay

Some families can earn money, but inadequate for covering their expenses, therefore it is easy to think about divorce. Nevertheless, the rates of unemployment trend to continually increase as a result the divorce rates can also rise. It is no doubt that the stress in modern living may lead to recently increasing divorce rates. The final cause of recently increasing divorce is lack of communication. Owing to financial status in each family, many people are fairly busy. For this reason, they have no time to talk to the problems with their partners, which produces the likelihood of divorce.

Some couples are often quiet when they have problems each other, as a consequence little problems can be expanded to probably become huge problems, resulting in divorce. It is obvious that the more communications are used, the more divorce rates are reduced. Although, these three causes of the recent rise in divorce rates are expressed above, there are also two effects of the recent increase of divorce rates: negative effects and positive affects Firstly, the effects of recent enlargement in divorce rates are negative effects. Most couples normally have children when they get married.

Children often try to stop the divorce of their parents, but there are many who seem to accept it at first. These who seem to accept it may even tell their parents that they are happy about the divorce. This is not always the case, as one would see if he or she spoke with the child for a while. There are many things that divorce does to a family, and there are many things that is does to the child. These effects are rarely positive or helpful depending upon the family’s prior situation. Divorce has many negative effects on the psychological and social aspects of a child’s life.

There are many psychological aspects of a child’s life that change when his or her parents go through a divorce. As previously mentioned by the writer, a child may not show initially how he or she feels about the divorce, but the true feelings of that child eventually surface. Joan B. Kelly, in an article for the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says, Children incorporate repertoires of angry, impulsive, and violent behavior into their own behavior as a result of observing their parents’ responses to frustration and rage.

This is something that many children that witness the divorce of their parents go through. The child naturally looks to his or her parent or parents for the example of how to handle certain situations and emotions. During a divorce there is much anger and aggression that is expressed by one or both parents of that child. This is not healthy for the child to witness for several reasons. One of the main reasons is that the child sees this example of aggression that his or her parents are setting, and he or she begins to react in the same manner.

Anger and aggression tend to become the child’s tools for solving his or her problems. The child becomes like the parents and could cause harm to others because of not knowing or understanding how to control these feelings. He or she may often violently lash out at those around him or her that cause these feelings to occur. This leads to the next psychological effect that divorce has on children. Depression is a major effect that divorce has on children. This is not necessarily something that occurs during the divorce, but has major effects on the later life of the child.

A high level of marital conflict experienced during childhood has been linked to more depression and other psychological disorders in young adults, compared with those reporting lower levels of family conflict during childhood. Lora Heims Tessman, author of Children of Parting Parents says, “most of the adolescents were overly depressed . . . many had conscious suicidal thoughts . . . a minority showed increased acting out with self-destructive components, but without anxious depression” (Tessman 327). These are common psychological effects of divorce on children. There are also many social effects that divorce has on children.

The child often feels unconnected to his or her peers. He or she feels unable to make or maintain friendships and complained about being unconnected to his or her peers. Also contributing to feeling unconnected to their peers is that in numerous studies over the past three decades, divorced children have been reported to be more aggressive and impulsive and to engage in more antisocial behaviors, compared with matched samples of never-divorced children. The divorce that these children experience causes them to act and react in ways that are not considered socially acceptable, and distancing themselves from their peers.

Diagnostically, the adolescents varied greatly, but did share a number of clinical features. The children of these divorced families have become so mixed up that they do not know who they are any longer. Things that they once loved or enjoyed things that they were once interested in no longer matter to them. In conclusion, a family is one of the important parts of society, thus many people had better be aware of the significance of relationship in family. At the moment, divorce has become the substantial problem because of changing women’s roles, stress in modern living and lack of communication.

Nevertheless, there are also the two different ways in effects, which are negative and positive effects. Some couples, which have no children, divorce by consent, therefore divorce should be good solution for couples to deal with this problem. On the other hand, some couples having children in their family should think deliberatively before they end their marriage with divorce otherwise innocent children probably become victims of this situation. Although people tend to think carefully before they get married and until then the divorce rate will continuously rise.

How To Get A Divorce Without A Lawyer In Oklahoma In 2024

Understand oklahoma divorce requirements and eligibility.

C an you file for a divorce without a lawyer In Oklahoma In 2024? When filing your divorce, you must familiarize yourself with the required forms. Oklahoma offers different forms for divorces and full answer involving children, property disputes, or both. These forms are accessible through the Oklahoma State Courts Network website or at your local courthouse. Completing these forms accurately is paramount; even minor errors can delay the process. It’s also important to consider how marital assets and debts will be divided. Oklahoma follows the rule of equitable distribution, meaning that assets acquired during the marriage will be divided fairly but not equally. If children are involved, you will need to propose a plan for custody and child support that aligns with Oklahoma’s child support guidelines.

After submitting all necessary documents to the court, you must serve your spouse with the divorce papers. This step is crucial as it officially notifies them of the impending divorce proceedings. Following service, there’s a mandatory 90-day waiting period before a divorce can be finalized if children are involved; otherwise, it can be shorter. During this period, negotiating an agreement on unresolved issues without legal representation requires clear communication and compromise from both parties. If you agree on all aspects of your divorce, you can submit a marital settlement agreement to the court for approval, potentially avoiding a trial. Remember that while navigating a divorce without a lawyer is feasible, seeking advice from legal aid services or consulting with a mediator may provide valuable guidance throughout this complex process.

Gather and Prepare Necessary Documentation

When considering a DIY divorce, gathering accurate financial documents is crucial. These documents serve as the foundation for asset division and support determinations. Gather recent tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements, retirement account statements, and any records of debts like mortgages and credit cards. This comprehensive financial overview is essential for ensuring fair distribution and calculating child and spousal support accurately. Attention to detail is paramount in this process; information must be present to ensure the outcome.

For couples with children, additional documentation related to their well-being is necessary. This includes proposed custody arrangements, detailed parenting plans outlining post-divorce co-parenting strategies, and child support calculations following Oklahoma’s guidelines. These documents should prioritize the children’s best interests and demonstrate a clear plan for their ongoing care and financial support.

While preparing these documents without legal assistance may seem daunting, Oklahoma provides resources designed to help individuals navigate this process. The state’s courts network website offers forms and detailed instructions tailored for those wondering if they can file for a divorce without a lawyer. Leveraging these resources effectively demands attention to detail and understanding your rights and obligations under Oklahoma law. Taking advantage of available legal aid services or consultation sessions can also clarify and ensure that your documentation is in order before proceeding.

Use Oklahoma’s Online Divorce Assistance Programs

For those opting for a do-it-yourself online divorce, many platforms provide document preparation assistance, tutorials, and FAQs. These resources tackle common concerns and challenges during divorce, such as asset division, child support calculations, and custody arrangements. While these online programs can significantly simplify the paperwork involved, it’s essential to note that they do not offer legal advice. Consulting with a legal professional or mediator may still be necessary in cases involving disputes or intricate marital estates. Effectively utilizing Oklahoma’s online assistance programs entails finding the right balance between independence and knowing when to seek further guidance or clarification on more complex issues.

File the Petition for Divorce at Your Local Court Clerk’s Office

Filing fees are an essential consideration at this stage. While these fees vary by county, they are an unavoidable part of submitting your divorce petition. Oklahoma courts offer fee waiver applications for individuals facing financial hardship, which, if approved, allow you to bypass some or all of these costs. Understanding and utilizing this provision can alleviate some of the financial strain of divorce proceedings.

Upon successful filing, you will receive a case number and instructions for serving your spouse with the divorce papers-a critical step that legally informs them of the ongoing action. Oklahoma law stipulates specific requirements for serving these documents, including who can serve them and the acceptable service methods. Adhering to these guidelines is crucial; failure to properly serve your spouse may invalidate your filing efforts. Engaging in a do-it-yourself online divorce means taking responsibility for understanding and executing these procedural steps correctly, ensuring that the process moves forward without unnecessary hindrance.

Serve Your Spouse with Divorce Papers Properly

When filing your own divorce, timing is crucial. After being served, your spouse typically has 20 days (or 30 days if they’re out of state) to respond to the divorce petition. This response period sets the tone for the proceeding - whether it will be contested or uncontested. An uncontested response may lead to a smoother and quicker resolution, while a lack of response or contestation could lead to additional legal steps. Awareness of these timelines and ensuring proper service can help prevent unnecessary delays in your divorce process.

Approaching this step with sensitivity and respect towards your spouse can significantly impact the overall tone of the divorce proceedings. While it might be tempting to approach this task with indifference or frustration, a constructive approach can lay the groundwork for more amicable negotiations later. Effective communication during this stage - clarifying intentions and outlining expected processes - can help reduce tensions and promote a cooperative environment moving forward.

Attend Mandatory Mediation (If Applicable)

During the mediation session, each party will have the chance to voice their concerns and preferences. The mediator facilitates the discussion, helping identify common ground and suggesting potential compromises. They do not make decisions but guide the conversation toward mutually acceptable solutions. It’s essential to be well-prepared for these discussions, having a comprehensive list of assets, liabilities, and specific needs concerning children’s welfare at hand.

To maximize the benefits of mediation, participants should remain focused on their long-term goals rather than short-term victories. Prioritizing the well-being of children and striving for equitable solutions can lead to more satisfactory outcomes for all involved. Mediation can significantly reduce divorce proceedings’ emotional and financial strain by fostering cooperative problem-solving.

If an agreement is reached during mediation, it will be drafted into a document both parties sign and submit to the court for approval. This document then becomes part of the final divorce decree. If mediation does not result in an agreement, parties retain their right to resolve their disputes in court. The willingness to engage in conciliation often reflects positively on each party’s commitment to resolving matters amicably and can influence the court’s perception of each party’s flexibility and reasonableness.

Finalize and Submit the Divorce Decree for the Judge’s Approval

Submitting the finalized divorce decree for the judge’s approval marks the culmination of your divorce process. Ensure that all accompanying documentation is in order as required by Oklahoma law. If applicable, this might include financial statements, parenting plans, and any service waivers. It’s essential to follow your county court’s specific submission guidelines; you must do so to avoid unnecessary delays. After submission, the court will review your documents for completeness and adherence to state laws.

Even in uncontested cases, a hearing may be scheduled to finalize the divorce. During this hearing, be prepared to present the divorce decree and answer any questions the judge may have about your agreements. This is a formal procedure, so dressing appropriately and adhering to courtroom etiquette is essential. The judge’s role is to ensure that the deal is fair and in compliance with Oklahoma law, especially regarding provisions for children.

Upon approval by the judge, both parties will receive a signed copy of the divorce decree, officially marking the end of your marriage under Oklahoma law. It’s crucial to retain this document for your records as it legally verifies your divorce’s terms and conditions. These steps ensure a smoother transition into post-divorce life while minimizing legal complications.

The post How To Get A Divorce Without A Lawyer In Oklahoma In 2024 appeared first on VIVA GLAM MAGAZINE™ .

Sophia Bush confirms relationship with Ashlyn Harris: ‘The universe had been conspiring for me’

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Sophia Bush finally feels like she can breathe after coming out as queer and opening up about her long-rumored relationship with soccer star Ashlyn Harris.

“When I take stock of the last few years, I can tell you that I have never operated out of more integrity in my life. I hope that’s clear enough for everyone speculating out there,” the “One Tree Hill” alum wrote Thursday in an essay for the April issue of Glamour .

Sophia Bush, soccer star Ashlyn Harris spark dating rumors after respective divorces

‘One Tree Hill’ alum Sophia Bush and retired USWNT goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris reportedly ‘went out on their first dinner date a couple of weeks ago.’

Oct. 18, 2023

The 41-year-old detailed how her one-year marriage to Grant Hughes felt phony and fell apart amid her grueling fertility issues. She also explained how her recovery from that relationship led her to Harris, who simultaneously had been going through her own divorce from former teammate Ali Krieger.

Bush wrote that after her storybook wedding — which she doesn’t regret — she found herself “in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process.” She kept all that private as she endured months of ultrasounds, hormone shots, blood draws that led to scar tissue in her veins and numerous egg retrievals, “while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.”

The “Work in Progress” and “Drama Queens” podcast host said she felt something in her “seismically shift” about six months into that journey and “knew deep down that I absolutely had made a mistake,” ultimately filing for divorce after about 13 months of marriage. Her separation from Hughes, an entrepreneur and real estate investor, saw Bush moving to London “to get out of our house” and doing a play to “jump-start the joy” she had been chasing. (She withdrew from “2:22 A Ghost Story” in July 2023 due to illness.)

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Glamour (@glamourmag)

The “Love, Victor” and “Chicago P.D.” actor moved back to her empty home in L.A. last summer and said that an ever-expanding group of women in her life started opening up about their own issues. That group included the “kind ear” of the U.S. Women’s National Team goalkeeper, whom she’d first met in 2019. She didn’t expect to find love there.

“I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option.”

It took other people in their “safe support bubble” to point out to Bush that she and Harris would finish each other’s sentences or be deeply affected by the same things, she wrote.

Sophia Bush thinks she is one of the better Bushes

April 21, 2024

Reports about the couple’s romance surfaced in October, months after they each filed for divorce. The “One Tree Hill” alum and the U.S. Women’s National Team goalkeeper reportedly went out on their first dinner date a couple of weeks prior, People reported at the time, and TMZ asserted that they were “officially a thing.”

In her essay, Bush shed light on that purported first date, which she described as a 4½-hour meal that was “truly one of the most surreal experiences of my life thus far.”

“I do know that for a sparkly moment I felt like maybe the universe had been conspiring for me,” she wrote. But navigating the judgment she felt in the public eye was disheartening.

“The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women — my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!),” she wrote, noting that she didn’t leave her marriage because of some random rendezvous but rather after a year of “doing the most soul-crushing work of my life.”

Sophia Bush files for divorce from husband Grant Hughes after 13 months of marriage

Sophia Bush has filed for divorce from husband Grant Hughes. The news comes seven weeks after Hughes and the ‘One Tree Hill’ alum celebrated their first anniversary.

Aug. 4, 2023

Bush also fawned over her partner‘s integrity and love for her children. As for her identity, the life-long LGBTQIA+ ally described feeling at home with the queer community.

“I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer,” she wrote. “I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”

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Who is Sophia Bush? Actress discusses infidelity rumors, queer relationship in 'Glamour'

Actress Sophia Bush is making headlines after "Glamour" published a piece she has written giving an inside look at her divorce after a year of marriage and her new queer relationship.

So who is Sophia Bush? And why do people seem to care so much about her relationships?

Here's what to know.

Who is Sophia Bush?

Bush, 41, is best known for her role as Brooke Davis on the WB series " One Tree Hill ," which ran from 2003 to 2012. Her character, a flirtatious cheerleader, evolved from a "from a trouble-making vixen to a fiercely loyal friend, and is a huge fan favorite," accord to her IMDb biography .

Bush currently stars as Dr. Sam Griffith in "Good Sam," though CBS recently announced it will cancel the show, according to AOL .

Who was Sophia Bush married to? Who is her ex-husband?

Bush married entrepreneur Grant Hughes in June 2022, according to People . She filed for divorce in August 2023.

An Oklahoman, Hughes earned a bachelor's of business administration from the University of Oklahoma, and continued his education at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles and the University of Michigan, according to People.

He co-founded FocusMotion with Cavan Canavan in 2012. The machine learning software company tracks human movement, helping people not only improve their workouts with better form or yoga poses, but also helping workers perform their tasks with less strain, according to Forbes .

Who is Sophia Bush dating now?

Bush began a relationship with Ashlyn Harris, 38, in October 2023.

Harris, a former professional soccer star, announced she was divorcing her wife, Ali Krieger, that same month after four years of marriage, USA TODAY reported . They adopted two children.

Both Harris and Krieger were members of the United States women's national soccer team and two-time World Cup champs. Both played for Gotham FC in the  National Women's Soccer League  after being traded from Orlando Pride in 2021. Harris, a goalkeeper, became the first NWSL player to reach 500 saves and retired at the end of the 2022 campaign after 12 seasons, according to US Soccer .

Sophia Bush addresses sexuality, infidelity rumors in 'Glamour' piece

According to USA TODAY , Bush discussed the lead up and "painful conversations" she and Harris had before pursuing a relationship in the "Glamour" essay. However, social media viewed it as an affair.

"The online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways. There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were accusations of being a home-wrecker," she wrote in her essay. "The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women — my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have."

Jeannie Mai alleges abuse, child neglect by Jeezy in new divorce case filing

Jeannie Mai has detailed incidents of alleged abuse from Jeezy amid their divorce .

Mai's domestic violence claims were included in the latest filing in the estranged couple's divorce case, which was submitted in Georgia's Fulton County Superior Court Thursday and reviewed by USA TODAY.

The former "The Real" daytime TV host's filing is in response to the "Soul Survivor" rapper's request earlier this month for the court to void the temporary agreement the couple had in place amid their divorce proceedings, which temporarily resolves issues such as a parenting plan for their 2-year-old daughter, Monaco.

In the document, Mai details her concerns for Monaco's safety, should Jeezy be allowed to spend time with their child without the temporary order they'd previously agreed to be in place.

According to the filing, both parties signed a mediated agreement in February, which in part requested that Jeezy provide an inventory of all the firearms in his home and ensure they are secured before he has parenting time with their daughter. Mai claims he has "refused" to do so and made the case that their child is not safe with her father due to past instances of alleged abuse against Mai.

In a statement posted on Instagram on Thursday, Jeezy wrote, "The allegations are not only false but also deeply disturbing, especially coming from someone I loved."

What Jeezy's said: Rapper asks court for "structure" for daughter, Mai files counterclaim

"This malicious attempt to tarnish my character and disrupt my family is ridiculous. It's disheartening to witness the manipulation and deceit at play and at this time my main concern is being an active father to our daughter as I continue to fight for court mandated joint custody," he added. "Rest assured, the truth will prevail through the proper legal channels."

USA TODAY has reached out to Jeezy's representatives for comment.

Jeezy filed for divorce from Mai after two years of marriage in September, citing an "irretrievably broken" marriage with "no hope for reconciliation."

Jeannie Mai claims Jeezy has been 'neglectful' of their 2-year-old daughter

In her 117-page filing, Mai asks the court to uphold the mediated agreement both parties signed in February and require Jeezy to address the issue of firearm inventory and storage.

"Due to (Jeezy's) past outbursts of physical violence and verbal abuse against (Mai) and his eldest son, (Mai) has valid concerns as to (Jeezy's) ability to appropriately parent a small child," the document states.

She claims Monaco found an assault rifle in a zipped-up Louis Vuitton bag left on the dining room floor in 2023 and that his 6-year-old daughter found his guns in various locations in the kitchen. Mai says Jeezy has been "neglectful of properly supervising" their daughter during his visitation time, including when he allegedly left her "seemingly unattended" to perform at the CMG Gangsta Art Tour in November 2023.

However, with Jeezy's recent reassurance that the assault rifle is not inside his Atlanta home, Mai said the two are arranging parenting time in May.

In a December filing before their mediated agreement on temporary issues, Jeezy asserted that while he doesn't think Mai is "acting maliciously or with specific intent to harm," he believes she "has acted as a gatekeeper when it comes to (Jeezy) exercising parenting time."

Jeezy claims that Mai has interfered with his relationship with Monaco — though not maliciously, he reiterates — which is "causing confusion and tension between the parties and is working to stifle the development of" his relationship with his daughter.

Mai hit back at these claims in her April 25 filing, claiming Jeezy created a "false narrative wherein he attempts to villainize the mother of his child."

She rejected claims that she withheld Monaco from her father, alleging the father and daughter spent time together in November and December 2023 as well as in February and March. Mai added that he was prevented from seeing the 2-year-old upon "his failure to abide by the terms of the parties' mediated agreement."

In his divorce filing, Jeezy requested joint custody of Monaco.

Jeannie Mai says Jeezy struck her face, pushed her down stairs

"(Jeezy) has a history of threats, violence, and bodily harm," Mai's filing reads.

"(Mai) mistakenly believed (Jeezy) when he convinced her prior to their marriage that he was a changed man, and his past was in his past, but as one can see from the examples of abuse (Mai) endured during the marriage that has not turned out to be the case."

In her filing, Mai shares three instances of domestic abuse in 2022, including a time when Jeezy allegedly struck her face with a closed fist after asking the driver to leave them alone in a car in Miami in January 2022. Following the alleged incident, she says, the two contacted their pastor and therapist for counseling.

She also said she'd reported another alleged violent incident that took place inside a car to the couple's therapist.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, The  National Domestic Violence Hotline  ( thehotline.org )  allows you to speak confidentially with trained advocates online or by the phone, which they recommend for those who think their online activity is being monitored by their abuser (800-799-7233). They can help survivors develop a plan to achieve safety for themselves and their children.

Safe Horizon's  hotline ( safehorizon.org )  offers crisis counseling, safety planning and assistance finding shelters (800-621-HOPE (4673). It also has a  chat feature  where you can reach out for help from a computer or phone confidentially. 

Contributing: Taijuan Moorman

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Kelsey Plum and Darren Waller File for Divorce After 1 Year of Marriage, WNBA Star Says She's 'Devastated'

The WNBA star and NFL tight end filed for divorce in Clark County, Nevada, on April 23

WNBA champion Kelsey Plum and NFL tight end Darren Waller have filed for divorce after one year of marriage, PEOPLE can confirm.

On April 23, Plum, 29, and Waller, 31, filed a joint petition for divorce in Clark County, Nevada, according to court documents obtained by PEOPLE.

Just after the filing, Plum shared a heartbreaking message on social media. "I'm devastated. I walked through fire for that man, but now I see it's time to go," she wrote on Instagram Stories.

"God has given me an incredible life, and I'm truly so grateful for the profound love from my family and friends," the Las Vegas Aces star continued.

"One day I'll share my story, today is not that day. Thank you for the grace to process my pain, to forgive and move forward. Today and everyday I will continue to choose joy. Much love KP."

Plum ended her message writing, "Philippians 1:6." The bible verse means, "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

David Becker/NBAE via Getty

Plum, a two-time WNBA champion with the Aces, and Waller began dating when he played for the Las Vegas Raiders. They reportedly dated for about a year before tying the knot on March 4, 2023.

According to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, Plum and Waller applied for a  marriage license  on Jan. 22, 2023.

Shortly after they married, Waller was traded across the country to the New York Giants.

Never miss a story — sign up for  PEOPLE's free daily newsletter  to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Just weeks before the divorce filing, Waller spoke to PEOPLE about his plans for the future, and how he's considering retiring from football.

"I'm at the point now where I'm like, 'Is this something that I want to continue to invest my time, invest my body, invest my mind in?' And I've got to come to a decision on that," Waller said of his potential departure from the NFL.

Sarah Stier/Getty

"And it's to the point where it's like, man, I don't feel like I've really done a lot. In some ways my life hasn't really started."

Waller added, "I'm a guy who's into a lot more than football," Waller says. "And football's done a lot for me, I'm so grateful, but it's a grind, and you've got to be 100% willing to suit up for it, and I've got to decide if I'm 100% or not."

Plum will kick off a new WNBA season in May, and is currently training with Team USA for the upcoming Summer Olympics in Paris.

Related Articles

Divorce is harmful to children Essay

Introduction, harmful effects, works cited.

Family is considered a significant unit of any community. When it is broken, the effects are tough on parents, friends and mostly importantly, the children. As Stewart-Clarke and Cornelia explain, “it is hard to imagine a more difficult transition for a child than to be a party to his or her parent’s divorce” (106).

When going through a divorce, most parents are concerned about the children and how it will affect them as they grow up. Worries over whether the children will grow up happy and healthy are common among divorcees. It is not until recently that psychologists and sociologists began to provide reliable information about how children are affected when their parents divorce. The effects spread across their emotional, social and academic lives.

Divorce affects children in different ways. The effects are dependent on different factors such as age, gender and support accorded to them. The first negative effect is that parent-child bond is broken. Depending with age, a separation with one of the parents will affect children differently.

As Douglas explains, “infants may not understand conflict, but may react to changes in parents’ energy level and mood by losing appetite, having upset stomach and spitting up more” (1). Preschool children may deny that any changes took place, or may suffer depression and become uncooperative.

School-aged children may suffer grief when the child-parent bond is broken. Adolescents may suffer anger and loneliness when one parent is no longer there, and may feel pushed to adulthood too early, especially if they have to take up a responsibility to take care of younger siblings. They may also doubt their ability to have a stable family in future.

Divorce affects children’s academic lives negatively. Psychologists have argued that the effects are more detrimental for elementary children. While the older children may be old enough to understand the pain they are going through, and ask for help or find positive ways of dealing with it, it is not so with elementary school children.

Since they are not old enough to understand their pain, they are not able to control or deal with it. A majority of these children will experience resentment and grief, a reaction which makes it impossible for them to be actively involved in their school work. Depending with the amount of help accorded to them, even older children will have a problem focusing and performing well in class.

Divorce further affects children’s social life and the way they handle relationships. According to Douglas, “researchers are now finding that boys raised by fathers and girls raised by mothers may do better than children raised by the parent of opposite sex” (1).

The same author explains that children in a family setting seem to be less aggressive and are able to have healthy relationships from an early age. They have fewer emotional problems and tend to be more responsible. They are more open with their problems since they have had people they can trust all their lives. Children from divorced parents may live with a feeling of rejection and may have trust issues.

In conclusion, divorce is harmful to children. As Stewart-Clarke and Cornelia warn, the effects are so immense such that “even through attempts at reconciliation through family counseling, the children still suffer” (106). In the midst of all the reactions and feelings, many children blame themselves for the mess. If they are not supported to deal with the above mentioned effects, most of them may grow up in shame and guilt, a reaction which results in low self esteem and prolonged anger.

Although children want the security offered by an adult, the anger may result in them acting aggressively or disobediently. Quoting Douglas, “adults, friends and family members can provide emotional warmth, reassurance and comfort to children and minimize the effects, as well as help them deal with those which they are already going through” (3).

Douglas, Emily. The Effects of Divorce on Children , 2006. Web.

Stewart-Clarke, Alison and Cornelia Brenatano. Divorce: Causes and Consequences . New Haven, Conn.: Yale University Press, 2007. Print.

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IvyPanda. (2019, November 12). Divorce is harmful to children. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-is-harmful-to-children/

"Divorce is harmful to children." IvyPanda , 12 Nov. 2019, ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-is-harmful-to-children/.

IvyPanda . (2019) 'Divorce is harmful to children'. 12 November.

IvyPanda . 2019. "Divorce is harmful to children." November 12, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-is-harmful-to-children/.

1. IvyPanda . "Divorce is harmful to children." November 12, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-is-harmful-to-children/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Divorce is harmful to children." November 12, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-is-harmful-to-children/.

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