writing assignment for disrespectful students

35 Writing Prompts about Respect

Respect is an important value to have and to experience. It means to consider other people and their feelings.

It means you care about the other person and what they believe in, the values they hold, and them as a human being. It means you will treat yourself and others kindly and without judgment.

We all want to be respected, and respecting others is part of receiving respect.

How to use these prompts:

There is no wrong way to use these writing prompts!

You can pick one at random and write until you feel you’ve answered the question, or you can go down the list and answer each prompt day by day.

Some find it helpful to set a timer and write for one prompt, but you can choose whichever way works best for you as a writer!

Just make sure to respect yourself and your writing techniques.

The prompts:

• Who do you respect the most? Why?
• Who do you respect the least? Why?
• What does respect mean to you?
• Tell about a time when you felt respected.
• Tell about a time when you felt disrespected. How did you respond?
• If respect were a person, what would they be like?
• If respect were an animal, what animal would it be and why?
• Write about a time when you witnessed someone being disrespectful. How did you respond, if you did?
• What do you think Aretha Franklin’s song “RESPECT” is about?
• How does being respectful make you feel?
• Do you automatically respect your elders? Why or why not?
• Do you automatically respect everyone you encounter in life? Why or why not?
• Where do you think the word respect comes from?
• How can you be more respectful in your everyday life?
• Do you think respect is an important value to uphold? Why or why not?
• What can you do if you see someone being disrespectful? Write out an example and what to do.
• How can you show your teacher or principal that you are a respectful student?
• Can you judge someone and still respect them?
• Do you respect your family members? Why or why not?
• Do you respect nature and the surrounding environment? How do you show it?
• How would you explain respect to someone who has never heard the term before?
• What do you do when you are feeling disrespected?
• Why do you think we need to respect rules at school or work?
• Do you believe in the golden rule: treat others how you wish to be treated? Why or why not?
• How do you learn how to be respectful?
• Do you have to agree with everything a person says just because you respect them? Why or why not?
• Why do we need to respect and abide by the law?
• What happens if you don’t respect the laws where you live?
• Do animals respect each other? Why or why not?
• How can you be respectful on a team? (ex: sports or debate team, working on a group project)
• What does it mean to respect someone’s boundaries? Give an example.
• Write a story about Ralphie the Respectful Raccoon and how he teaches other animals to be respectful.
• Would you rather be respected or loved? How are they similar? How are they different?
• Do all humans respect each other? Why or why not?
• Write a story about a student who doesn’t respect their teacher.

Looking for more?

We are always looking for new ideas and content for our writers of all ages. If you have any you’d like to share with us, or would like to ask a question, please feel free to reach out to us — we’d love to hear from you!

While you’re here, take a moment to check out our writing prompts about love , fear , regret , and… kindness .

It’s because of wonderful people like you that we can continue to offer unique and inspiring writing resources for our audiences.

Thank you. 🙂

See you again soon – our husband and wife team are making new resources available here everyday.

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Classroom Management , Mindset & Motivation , Podcast Articles   |   May 7, 2017

How to respond to rude, disrespectful student attitudes

By Angela Watson

Founder and Writer

I’ve written A LOT about behavior management: creating a strong, positive classroom culture and being proactive, as well as what to do about extreme student behaviors and how to undo your classroom management mistakes .

I’ve talked about how to avoid getting discouraged by these kinds of behaviors, and how to  not give up on apathetic kids.

But I haven’t addressed practical responses in the moment to student attitudes:

• How should you respond to the little things students do that are rude, disrespectful, or just annoying?
• What should you do for minor behaviors that don’t necessarily warrant some kind of consequence, but that you can’t let slide every time?
• Is there a way to keep kids from eye-rolling, teeth sucking, muttering under their breath, and so on?
• What do we do about bad attitudes?

I don’t want to settle for trite, rehashed info, so I reached out to Robyn Jackson , founder of Mindsteps Inc , because I knew she could take this conversation to a deeper level. Robyn was a National Board Certified English teacher in Maryland, just outside of Washington DC, and has since been an administrator, adjunct professor, consultant, and speaker. She’s been championing equity, access, and rigor for over 15 years.

Robyn is seriously one of my favorite experts in the education space, because she has a deeper understanding of human behavior and motivation than anyone else I know, and she always keeps it real. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her speak in person a few times and I just hang on her every word–there’s so much good info there. She has this lovely way of uncovering the root problem and also calling you out on your own mess instead of allowing blame-shifting.

I highly recommend using the audio player below to listen to the full interview,  but even if you’d rather read, grab a pad of paper because you’re going to want to take notes.

Want to listen to Robyn instead of read? Download the audio below!

Is it even possible to create a class culture in which kids don’t get an attitude or disrespect you over minor things (especially at the secondary level).

Absolutely. In fact, how depressing would it be if that weren’t possible? I don’t just believe it’s possible, I’ve seen it, and I’ve seen it with all kinds of kids.

I spend a lot of time in schools, and I’m in all kinds of schools — urban schools, suburban schools, rural schools, schools in the US, schools in other countries. I’ve seen it happen, but creating that kind of classroom culture is not easy. I don’t have anything like, “All you have to do is ___ and you can have that kind of culture.” There are a lot of things that go into it, including not just the personality of the students, but the personality of the teacher.

One of the things I shrink from whenever we talk classroom management issues is espousing a particular strategy because those strategies work if you have a particular personality. They don’t work with some personalities. We often don’t factor in who we are when we’re thinking about grabbing strategies and applying them. There is no key that says if you’re this kind of personality, this strategy will work, and if you’re that kind of personality, this strategy will work. It’s a lot of trial and error.

The teachers I’ve seen pull off this off created a classroom culture that is a good fit for their own personality and the personality of the kids involved. I think that both are really important, and I think it’s often a missing link that people have when they’re trying to figure out how to create that classroom.

They think there’s some magic bullet: “I must not be doing something right,” or “I saw another teacher,” or “I read something that this teacher said, and it worked for them. Why isn’t it working for me?” We don’t factor in who we are and how much of a difference that plays in whether or not a strategy will work.

What are appropriate consequences for kids who show disrespect?

I think we have to distinguish between disruptions and disrespect, because not every disruption is disrespectful. I don’t think teachers should tolerate disrespect, ever . That always has to be addressed. But a disruption may not be a sign of disrespect. I think we have to be really clear about the difference. I’m trying to think of a clean, easy distinction, but oftentimes there isn’t one. One person’s disruption is another person’s disrespect.

But typically I consider: Is the child trying to challenge my authority in the classroom? Is the child doing something in direct disregard for something that I’ve directly told them to do? That feels more like disrespect. Is a child being a teenager? Then that’s a disruption.

So disrespect I never ignore. Disruptions, I may or may not ignore them. I may not directly address them right away because I might be able to redirect that student, or I may be able to get that student re-engaged. I think that that’s the difference. We have to be really careful about how we interpret student behavior, because a lot of times in our frustration, we end up interpreting things as disrespect that were never intended to be disrespectful.

How do you keep yourself from taking students’ misbehavior personally?

I still struggle with not taking it personally, even though I know better. Somebody’s attitude rubs me the wrong way or does something that I feel is disrespectful when really there’s something else going on, and rather than taking the time to figure that out before I respond, I just react, and say, “Hold up. No. Wait a minute.”

Especially now, because a lot of times when I’m teaching or doing demonstration lessons, there’s a lot riding on that demonstration. I’m coming in and showing people how to do something, and I’m the supposed expert. And when somebody does something that’s a disruption or is blatantly disrespectful, it’s hard for me to step out of, “Wait a minute. You are challenging me. You are a 13-year-old. How dare you?” Or, “Wait a minute. I’ve got to show people that I know what I’m doing, so I can’t allow you to have any ground in my classroom.”

Those are short-term solutions. And you might be able to quash the rebellion in the moment, but you have lost the war, because classroom management/discipline is supposed to be about helping our students become better at managing the learning and managing themselves.

When we sacrifice that bigger goal for a temporary win, we create other problems down the line, and it doesn’t even feel good to us. It doesn’t. We think it’s going to solve that issue of that, “I feel disrespected,” and it doesn’t. It doesn’t solve either of the issues. It just quashes the rebellion at the moment.

How do you show the class you’re in control without escalating the situation?

When you make the wise decision to not escalate things in the middle of class and to address it later, it’s tough when the student tries to get the last word. There’s something inside of us that finds it hard to walk away from something like that. We immediately worry that our other students are going to think, “Oh no. Look, he got away with it.”

This is a hard situation, and it’s hard to take the long view of things. Students won’t think that he got away with it if you are effective in that post-classroom conversation, and the next day he comes to class and he’s well-behaved. So you have to think about it from that perspective and remember: don’t sacrifice the war because you want to win a small skirmish. You’re fighting a bigger war.

I hate to use war language when we’re talking about dealing with children, and I say “children” but I mean teenagers. I taught secondary–I’m not talking about third-graders here. I’m talking about that 16-year-old who’s being a jerk in class and doing it for attention, and at that moment, he is being disrespectful, right? So how do you deal with that?

The first thing is that you have to keep in mind the longer game.  Is the goal of that exchange to prove to the other students that you’re in charge, especially when so many things can go wrong, or are there other ways to show students that you don’t tolerate that kind of behavior?

For me, I think that if you let it go right then and there, as bad as that feels, and you settle it when you talk with that student later on, and then that student comes to class the next day and is well-behaved and the students see that that student is being respectful to you — then what students are going to think is, “Whoa. She must have let him have it in that other conversation. She’s not somebody you mess with,” and they leave it alone.

If you don’t settle it in that follow-up conversation, then that’s when students start getting the idea that that behavior is tolerated. Students are always watching, yes, but you aren’t tolerating that behavior now. What you’re not doing is getting in the last word, and eventually that student looks ridiculous, especially if you remain calm and you remain in control of the classroom.

That’s the struggle: Remaining calm, because I know what that feels like in the moment. I’ve had those situations where you’re sitting there and you’re thinking, “Oh no. What are the kids going to say? Do I respond? Do I not respond?” And unfortunately, there’s no manual for this because kids come up with all kinds of things that we’re not prepared for. There’s no way to prepare for it other than this:

At all times, remain calm. At all times, remain in control. You don’t worry so much about what the other kids are going to think, because you are in control, even of that situation. It’s one thing if that student is doing something and you’re cowering in a corner. It’s another thing if students see you choosing to ignore that behavior. It’s not that you are tolerating or they can get away with it. What students will see is that you’ve made a choice to ignore that behavior.

How do you show students you are CHOOSING not to engage?

A long time ago I wrote a couple of blog posts, and the title of the series was, Are You a Discipline Problem? And it was directed at teachers. It wasn’t to blame teachers, but it was to make this point: A discipline problem is anything that disrupts instruction. Anything. Which means that a child can be a discipline problem, but it also means that a teacher can be a discipline problem.

When you choose not to escalate the situation as a teacher, you choose not to become a discipline problem, because the moment that you start getting in the last word with that student, you now are playing that student’s game. What you’re trying to do is get the student on your page, not get on the student’s page. If the teacher follows up with the student, gets that student back on track, then that’s what the class is going to see–that’s the permanent, lasting effect that students will notice.

You can make it clear to the other students that you are choosing not to engage . Even in how you ignore, you can look at the student sadly, shake your head, and then keep moving with what you’re doing and get everybody back on track. And that will look like you’re just, “Poor pitiful little thing. You have no idea what you’re in for when I talk to you after class.” You can do that, and that shows that you remain in control.

If the student’s trying to get you to react, and you do, then you’re playing his game. You just have to remember: W ho’s in charge? I am. That means you just let the “last word” stuff go, even though it feels horrible to do so. But you don’t have to just let it go and act as if it didn’t happen. You can acknowledge it without engaging in it.

You can look at it and shrug your shoulders and keep moving with what you’re doing. Then everybody knows you saw it, you’ve chosen to ignore it, and you’ve handled it without escalating it.

How do you find a “teacher look” that works consistently? 

Some teachers are tough teachers. I’m the kind of teacher that I could stop a kid in his tracks with a look. I’ve looked at kids before, a kid started getting smart with me, and I looked at her, and she immediately said, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” But that’s who I am, right?

There are some people who haven’t found their teacher look yet, or whose look isn’t as ferocious, and so they shouldn’t try the look. Because if kids don’t buy your look, if there’s no conviction behind it, then all students are going to do is say, “You can look at me all you want … ” That can escalate things.

So whatever you do, commit to it, but make it fit who you are. Some teachers look disappointed, some teachers look sad but not cowed. Some teachers look at them and say a certain word. “The look” can mean a lot of different things. It could be there’s just a look, or maybe it’s body language.

Or maybe you respond with humor. Some teachers might say, “Aw, do you need a hug?” and then the rest of the class laughs. So you have to figure out who you are, and that’s why it’s so important to do something that’s consistent with your personality, and not try to be the teacher with the look, if that’s not who you are. You have to find what works for you.

Will ignoring disruptive behavior just make it worse?

There’s a way to deal with the behavior without escalating it, without saying a word, that lets everybody know the student is going to be dealt with. He has not won, and everyone including him knows it–you’re just choosing to ignore it.

And if you make the choice to ignore it obvious, that’s the difference. It’s when we don’t make that “ignoring choice” obvious that there’s a problem. When kids aren’t sure: “Are you ignoring it or did he beat you into submission with his words? Which one is it?”

So I think it’s important that you have to make that choice obvious, however you choose to do that, but you don’t have to engage it or escalate it.

I think that’s the thing that they don’t teach us about deliberate ignoring:  you don’t ignore it as if you don’t see it . You’re just ignoring it as if, “I’m not going to deal with it at this time.” And is students see that choice, then you are still in control of your classroom.

What happens when you try to tell parents about a behavioral situation, and they think you should accept being treated like a doormat?

Oh, no, never, never, never. Not just because “no one deserves to be treated like a doormat,” I just think it’s hard for kids to learn in that kind of environment where they feel like they’re in control of the classroom. It just hurts you and it hurts the kids, so never accept being treated like a doormat. But what do you do instead?

As a teacher, I had parents cussing me out, I had parents slamming down the phone and hanging up on me saying, “You handle school, I’ll handle home. If you can’t do your job, why are we paying taxes for you?” I’ve had parents come up to the school and lay me out. I’ve had administrators who have capitulated to parents’ demands.

I’ve also had the other side of the coin as an administrator where parents are calling the school, and the child can do no wrong, and how dare you? I’ve had parents get off the phone with me, leave work, and drive up to the school in order to just yell at me in person.

I’ve learned over the years that there are a couple of things you can do to enlist parent support:

1. Be proactive. At the very beginning of the year, outline what the expectations are, and also explain how you’re going to support that student. 

That way the idea of handling it in-house is re-couched as, “When things get out of line,” or “If things get out of line, here’s how I’m going to help and support your child. And here are the ways that you can help me support your child,” so that you lay out the expectations: “When I give you a call, this is the script, this is how I expect you to handle it.”

You lay it out before things go badly, so that you have precedent there, and it’s not the first time parents are encountering your expectation for their support. You’ve laid out what that looks like to you, you’ve had that conversation with parents ahead of time. You can do that at back-to-school night or in other ways.

2. Get the story to the parent before the child does.

If something happened in school that day, make the call home. Email is not enough, because parents may not read their email before they talk to their child, so you really want to get to the parent. Whoever gets to the parent first controls the story.

3. If you can’t get to the parent first and s/he is angry, let the parent vent BEFORE you talk.

When parents are yelling at me like it’s my fault, I don’t interrupt. I let them vent, and when they are done yelling, then I will come in and talk. I’ve been yelled at by a lot of parents because I hold my kids at pretty high standards, and not all parents are supportive of that. So let them vent and hear them out, because in their complaints you’ll always find the way to their hearts.

I hated it when parents yelled at me and screamed at me. If parents are being disrespectful, they’re cussing you, they’re calling you outside of your name, you can stop the conversation until they can calm down, and then solicit some support.

But in most cases, they’re like, “I don’t know why you keep calling me. I feel like I’m doing my work at home. If you can’t handle it … ” If it’s that kind of thing, hear it out. In that is a plea for help.  Basically, that parent is saying, “I am having enough struggle controlling him at home. I don’t need more of this.”

4. E nlist parents as partners rather than tattling on their kids.

I think that’s the most important thing. Parents may be accustomed to the school calling home about their child, and it feels like you’re tattling, or it feels like you’re saying their kid’s not a good kid. So I try to talk about what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, and use the language of the goals that the parents have for their own children.

How do you convince parents that the consequence you chose was appropriate and get their support?

Once I had a situation with a father in which he didn’t believe the son should be suspended. I said, “I know this feels like punitive for your son and you don’t think he deserves it, but let me talk to you about what I’m hoping. Tell me what are your hopes for the kind of young man that you want your child to be.”

And he started talking to me about that, and then I said, “You know, I have some of those same hopes for him, and this is why I think it’s really important that he is suspended, because this isn’t punitive. I want him to learn a lesson, and I think we’ve gotten to the point where the only way he can learn this lesson is that he have a consequence that’s dire. And in giving him a consequence on this level, we save him from having to face an even more dire consequence later on. We have to get this behavior out of him.”

And so I talked to the father not just as, “Your child did this, and therefore he’s having this consequence,” but also shared the thinking behind the consequence. I’m not asking him to handle something, which I think puts a lot of parents on a defensive kind of posture. I’m saying, “Here’s what I’m doing in support of the type of child that I think we’re both hoping that your son becomes, and here’s what’s behind it.” And every time I’ve done that — and I’ve had to do it quite a bit — I’ve secured the support of the parent.

When you don’t have the support of the parent, when it seems like they feel their child can do no wrong, you need to talk about the discipline not as a punishment. You connect it to the goals that the parent has for the child, to the challenges the parent may be having with the child. When you show the parents that this is not a punishment (that’s what they’re protecting their child from, punishment), you’re teaching them that this is another learning opportunity.

And when you do that sincerely, it’s really hard for parents to resist someone who cares so much about their child that they’re taking the time to apply the discipline, even when the parent doesn’t agree.

What happens when your approach totally backfires — how do you figure out what you should have done differently?

One of the things that I find really challenging is that people will bring situations to me and they’ll say, “What should I have done?” And the truth is, I don’t know. I wasn’t there.

And quite frankly, things happen so quickly in the classroom, it’s hard to do a postmortem. It’s hard to say, “You handled this correctly,” or “You did it incorrectly.” There are just so many moving parts.

When I see teachers out there who are sincerely trying to support students, I wish that I had a tactic, a magic word, something that I could give them that works every time, but I’ve not found it.

When I can’t find the magic thing that works every single time, I always fall back on the principle that I should change my perspective and look to discipline as another learning opportunity. It’s something that I would treat with the same rigor that I use when planning any other lesson.

When I’m planning my consequences and my responses, I plan it with the same intention that I would plan a learning activity. I think about what I want the child to ultimately learn from engaging in this disciplinary activity with me or working with this child to manage behavior.  It relieves me of some of the natural, human feelings around how the child is behaving at that moment.

And it’s a hard thing to hold onto. I’m not perfect at it. But every time I’ve done it that way, I have found a way to reach the child. And every time that I haven’t done it that way, I look back with regret on how I handled things.

No time to finish reading now? Download the audio and listen later on the go!

How do you respond when nearly half the class is talking over you.

I stop. I mean, what’s funny is, it’s not just kids. It happens to me when I train teachers, too. I stop. I just stop. Sometimes it may take four or five minutes, depending on the class. If I’m walking in cold, I might not do this … but I’ll tell you what I don’t do.

I don’t say, “I’m not going to talk as long as you’re talking,” because then they’re like, “Fine. We don’t want to hear from you anyway, thank you.” So I don’t set myself up for that response, but I stop and I talk about why .

I try to make a case for why what I’m saying is more important, and try to secure their respect. But I don’t talk over kids. I don’t just keep going, especially when it’s half the class. And I don’t try to say anything smart either because that’s just a setup. I just stop. And when people get quiet, I start talking again.

How do you respond to profanity — when kids are just casually conversing with each other and you hear a curse word?

Oh, no. I’m old-fashioned. People have to work on their own tolerance. Nowadays the language is so profane, but my kids know how I am about this from the beginning. A lot of times I don’t have to say anything. A lot of times it’s just a part of how they speak, and they catch themselves, and they’re like, “Oops.”

When I was younger, when I first became a teacher, I was trying to charge 10 cents every time somebody cursed, but that creates a lot of problems, so don’t do that!

What I try to do now is just set an atmosphere in the classroom where kids know that’s not appropriate, and then when it happens, I just stop, and I say, “Can you rephrase that using the language of the classroom?” And kids do, and they apologize, because they know that that’s not something that I really like in the classroom.

What do you do when a student refuses to comply with a really simple request, like “put your phone away” or “sit down”?

When a student refuses to comply with a simple request, most of the time there’s a bigger issue at stake. It’s not just about the request–there’s something else going on. And a lot of times it doesn’t have anything to do with you on that particular day. They’re going through something else.

So if they refuse to comply with a simple request, I’m not going to stop instruction until I force them into submission. I’m going to get instruction going and then check in with the kid, because if not, that’s how you get those blow-ups . That’s how you get the kids who just go off.

If it’s a simple request like “put your phone away”, and they don’t do it, I move on. I say, “OK, I’ll deal with you in a second.” I get everybody else moving so that the learning in the classroom doesn’t stop, and then I deal with that student.

The exception is if it’s become a big disruption (like if they’re loudly playing a game on their phone, and it’s interrupting everybody else’s learning), because then I’m going to have to deal with it right away. They’ve created a bigger issue. But if it’s just simply, “My phone’s out. I’m not putting it away right now, and you can’t make me,” then let me get everybody else started so I as the teacher don’t become the discipline problem. And then once I’ve got everybody moving where they need to go, then I’m going to go deal with that student, and at that point, it’s not about the phone.

One of the things I learned from Cynthia Tobias, who has this great book on strong-willed children , is when strong-willed kids don’t comply with a simple request, ask the question, “How come?”

So I say, “Put your phone away,” and then the student just doesn’t do it or says no, and then I say, “How come?” calmly. And a lot of times that gets them talking so I can find out what else is going on. They’ll say, “I’m talking to my mother — my grandmother is sick,” or “I don’t feel like it.” “OK, why not?” You get them engaged in conversations that can help you figure out what’s going on and help you deal with the real issue, and not make the phone the issue.

How do you respond to kids who are volatile and belligerent when they’re spoken to about their behavior — those who can’t accept correction?

Oftentimes I’ll say, “We can’t continue to do this. I have a job, and you’ve got a job. And a lot of times you’re reacting in ways that, to me, feel out of proportion for what I’m asking you to do. So I need to know what’s going on with you, and we’re going to have to figure out something else that you can do instead, because that particular reaction doesn’t work. You’re allowed to have a reaction, but let’s find one that will work in the classroom. ”

Then we figure out something that works. With some students, I’ve had to do “antiseptic bounces.”  So I might say, “OK. Our arrangement is that if you’re getting to the point where you feel like you can’t behave in this classroom, then you can go sit in the back of Ms. So-and-So’s classroom and finish your work there, and Ms. So-and-So knows you’re coming.” The student goes in her room, and sits in the back. I’ve found that that works with some of the really volatile students.

Others have a safe word that they say when they feel like they’re about to go off. And when I hear that word (it’s something that’s just between me and the student), I say, “OK,” and I back off. The student then gets himself together and we address the issue when he’s calmer.

I have to work it out with the student so that we have an agreement. Then once you have that agreement, you can hold them accountable to the agreement , even when you can’t hold them accountable to the behavior   and to the behavioral expectations of the classroom.

What’s the most important thing you try to remember about student behavior, attitudes, and disrespect?

You have a bigger end game than that moment when you feel disrespected. And you’re not just teaching that student: every student who witnesses it learns something, too.

So, you have to be very careful about how you respond to student behavior and address it. Because in that moment, whether you realize it or not, you are teaching. You want to make sure that you’re teaching the right lessons in every interaction. It’s not just that student: everybody’s watching, and everybody’s learning.

I think when you take that principled approach, you cut down on a lot of the disciplinary issues that happen in the classroom so they never even come to the surface. You never even have to deal with them when you set up a classroom in that way.

Want to learn more from Robyn Jackson? Visit  mindstepsinc.com , or check out her (amazing!) book, Never Work Harder Than Your Students and Other Principles of Great Teaching .

This post is based on an episode from my weekly podcast, Angela Watson’s Truth for Teachers . A podcast is like a free talk radio show you can listen to online, or download and take with you wherever you go. I release a new 15-20 minute episode each Sunday and feature it here on the blog to help you get energized and motivated for the week ahead. 

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Angela Watson

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I was curious as to if Robyn ever came to schools to do trainings or presentations with school personnel?

Respect is not just a vague concept. This is an important life skill and the sooner kids will learn it, the sooner they will learn to build successful relationships. So, I admire the work you have done here teaching parents the importance of respecting their children and nurturing these skills in their kids. I am really grateful for the parenting tips you have collected here. Can add just a little bit? I have this article about teaching respect as well. And the activities that your kids will have fun with. Care to take a look here https://aliciaortego.com/teach-kids-respect-activities/ ?

Loved this! I listened in June ’23 after a really difficult year. I’m a specialty teacher that sees all the kids in the school but not every day. Discipline for me depends on so much! But, I love the idea of not becoming a discipline problem…which I’ve felt but not understood how to put into words. Thank you so much.

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Examples of Disrespectful Behavior in the Classroom

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Have you experienced a classroom where students frequently disrupt the silence by talking out of turn, disobeying instructions, or using disrespectful language? This situation can create a challenging learning environment for both teachers and students.

However, there are also subtle forms of disrespect that often go unnoticed but can significantly impact the classroom dynamic.

Let’s look into these seemingly minor behaviors that, if not addressed, can have significant consequences.

25 examples of disrespectful behavior in the classroom

When students engage in talking out of turn, ignoring instructions, or using disrespectful language in the classroom, it disrupts the learning environment.

Moreover, disregarding the teacher’s authority and making rude comments are also considered disrespectful behaviors that can negatively impact the overall classroom dynamic and student achievement.

It’s essential to address and discourage such behaviors to maintain a respectful and conducive atmosphere for learning.

Talking Out of Turn

Talking out of turn disrupts the classroom flow and demonstrates a lack of respect for the teacher and classmates. This behavior can interrupt the learning environment and disrupt academic decorum. Students should be mindful of their actions and adhere to proper classroom etiquette.

When students speak out of turn, it not only impacts their learning but also that of others. Managing this behavior as a teacher can be challenging. Establishing clear expectations and consequences can help maintain order and cultivate a respectful classroom atmosphere.

Addressing talking out of turn promptly and effectively enables teachers to create a space where all students feel respected and can learn without unnecessary interruptions.

Not Following Instructions

Not following instructions in the classroom disrupts the learning process and demonstrates a lack of respect for the teacher and peers. It causes distractions, and delays in the lesson, and reflects poorly on classroom behavior.

This behavior also challenges the authority of the teacher and undermines efforts to maintain discipline among students. Students hinder their own progress and that of their classmates by not adhering to academic expectations.

Disregarding instructions creates a chaotic atmosphere that hampers the overall effectiveness of the learning environment. Therefore, it’s crucial for students to promptly and attentively follow instructions to maintain a respectful and conducive classroom setting.

Using Disrespectful Language

Using disrespectful language in the classroom undermines the respect and professionalism that should be maintained among students and teachers. Disrespectful language in writing assignments can create a negative atmosphere and hinder learning.

It’s important to address disrespectful language in parent-teacher conferences to ensure parents are aware of the issue and can support efforts to address it. The impact of disrespectful language on classroom dynamics is significant, as it can lead to a breakdown in communication and mutual respect among students.

Implementing strategies for addressing disrespectful language, such as engaging in classroom discussions on appropriate language use and outlining consequences for disrespectful behavior, is essential. School policies play a vital role in addressing disrespectful language by providing guidelines and consequences for such behavior.

Ignoring the Teacher

Ignoring the teacher can disrupt the learning environment and demonstrate a lack of respect for authority in the classroom. When students choose to disregard the teacher’s instructions, it can lead to various negative outcomes:

• Classroom disruptions : Ignoring the teacher can create distractions for other students, making it difficult for everyone to focus and learn effectively.
• Teacher disrespect : It conveys a message of disrespect towards the teacher, which can undermine their authority and make it challenging to manage the class.
• Student disengagement : Ignoring the teacher often indicates a lack of interest or engagement in the lesson, resulting in missed learning opportunities and academic struggles.

Promptly addressing these disruptive behaviors is essential for maintaining a positive and productive learning environment.

Making Rude Comments

Making rude comments in the classroom is a disrespectful behavior that can disrupt learning and create a negative atmosphere. Addressing rudeness directly is crucial to maintaining respect in the classroom. Understanding why these comments are made can help approach the situation with empathy.

Setting clear boundaries on acceptable behavior can prevent rude comments from escalating. Building empathy through open communication and discussing the impact of hurtful words is essential for fostering a positive classroom environment. Encouraging positive behavior through praise and reinforcement can motivate students to communicate respectfully, leading to a more harmonious learning space.

Disrupting Class Activities

Disruptive behavior in the classroom, such as interrupting lessons, talking out of turn, or engaging in unrelated activities, can significantly disrupt the learning environment and hinder the educational experience for all students. These disruptions can lead to reduced focus, decreased productivity, and a waste of valuable learning time. It’s crucial for teachers to promptly address disruptive behavior, establish clear expectations, and implement consequences for repeated disruptions to maintain a harmonious learning atmosphere.

Consequences for disruptive behavior should be fair yet firm to ensure a productive classroom environment for all students. By implementing proactive measures like engaging lessons and effective communication, teachers can prevent disruptions before they occur and create a more conducive learning environment for everyone involved.

Mocking Classmates or Teachers

Making fun of classmates or teachers is disrespectful and harms the learning environment. It can upset those targeted and disrupt the focus needed for education.

To address this behavior, methods like role-playing, positive reinforcement, empathy building, communication skills, and conflict resolution can help. These strategies teach students about the impact of their actions, promote respect for others, and create a supportive classroom.

Refusing to Participate

Refusing to participate in classroom activities not only hampers your own learning but also disrupts the collaborative and engaging atmosphere crucial for academic progress. Feeling pressured to contribute is common, but active involvement benefits everyone involved.

Teachers can use various methods like group discussions, hands-on activities, and interactive technologies to encourage participation.

Bullying Other Students

Bullying other students in the classroom creates a harmful environment that disrupts the sense of safety and respect needed for effective learning. Preventing cyberbullying is crucial in today’s digital age, where hurtful messages can quickly spread.

Using peer mediation strategies can empower students to peacefully resolve conflicts, fostering a positive classroom atmosphere. Anti-bullying programs are essential for teaching students about empathy and kindness, highlighting the significance of treating others with dignity.

Defying Authority Figures

When students openly challenge or disregard directives from their teachers, they show disrespectful behavior in the classroom. This defiance creates a disruptive atmosphere that hampers learning. Here are three behaviors linked to defying authority figures:

• Challenging authority : Students who question or refuse to follow instructions undermine the teacher’s position.
• Defying rules : Disregarding classroom guidelines or breaking established rules demonstrates a lack of respect for the teacher’s authority.
• Power struggles : Constantly battling for control can lead to a negative dynamic between students and teachers, impeding the educational process.

It’s crucial to address these behaviors promptly and effectively to maintain a respectful and harmonious classroom environment.

Cheating on Assignments

Cheating on assignments erodes the integrity of the educational process and shows a disregard for academic standards. Academic dishonesty, such as plagiarism, can lead to serious repercussions like failing grades or expulsion from educational institutions. To deter cheating, effective strategies include using various assessment formats and employing plagiarism detection tools.

It’s also vital to educate students on ethics and the significance of academic integrity. By reinforcing the value of honest work and discussing the negative effects of cheating, students are more likely to grasp the importance of integrity in their learning and within the academic community. Cultivating a culture of honesty and integrity is essential in combating cheating in educational environments.

Being Consistently Late

Consistently arriving late to class disrupts the learning environment and shows a lack of respect for the instructor and fellow students. Students are expected to be punctual to ensure a smooth start to the lesson. Chronic tardiness can result in missed instructions, lower grades, or disciplinary actions. It also affects the flow of the class and can be distracting for everyone.

To address this issue, effective teacher-student communication is essential. Educators should clearly explain the importance of being on time and how it impacts the class. Encouraging students to improve their time management skills and providing support in implementing strategies for punctuality can help create a more respectful and productive learning atmosphere.

Showing No Interest

When students show little interest in class, it can signal disrespectful behavior. To address this, it’s vital to use effective engagement strategies.

Engage students with interactive and relevant activities to promote active learning. Developing relationships with students can increase their interest in the material. Cultivating a positive classroom environment where students feel valued and respected can help combat disinterest.

Teasing or Taunting

When students engage in teasing or taunting behaviors in the classroom, it disrupts the learning environment and shows a lack of respect. Addressing these behaviors is essential for maintaining a safe and inclusive space for learning.

Here are some strategies to help prevent and address teasing or taunting:

• Early Intervention: Implementing strategies to recognize and address teasing or taunting behavior early can prevent it from escalating into more serious issues.
• Promoting Positive Behavior: Encouraging positive interactions and behaviors through praise and rewards can reinforce respectful conduct among students.
• Conflict Resolution Skills: Teaching students effective communication and mediation techniques can help them resolve conflicts peacefully and respectfully.

Not Completing Homework

Failing to complete homework not only impacts the individual student but also disrupts the flow of the entire class. It shows poor time management, lack of accountability, and irresponsibility by the student. Additionally, it undermines academic integrity and work ethic, setting a negative example for peers.

The consequences of not completing homework in the classroom are as follows:

• Time Management : Poor planning and prioritization lead to incomplete assignments and rushed work.
• Accountability Issues : Lack of ownership results in disappointing grades and missed learning opportunities.
• Academic Integrity : Failure to uphold honesty and diligence may lead to potential academic penalties and erosion of trust.
• Work Ethic : Demonstrating laziness and lack of commitment can lead to diminished academic performance and hinder future success.

Being Argumentative

Arguing in the classroom can disrupt the learning environment and hinder productive discussions among students and teachers. However, engaging in debates with an open mind and a willingness to learn from others’ perspectives can be beneficial.

It’s important to give and receive constructive criticism with respect, focusing on improving understanding rather than proving oneself right. Active listening is crucial for meaningful interactions, showing consideration for others’ viewpoints, and fostering mutual respect.

Not Listening Attentively

Not actively participating in classroom discussions can be seen as disrespectful and can impede the learning process for both oneself and others. Actively listening is essential for engaging in the classroom and for having respectful interactions. When one doesn’t participate attentively, it can interrupt the exchange of ideas and hinder effective communication.

Here are some consequences of not listening attentively in the classroom:

• Missed Learning Opportunities
• Disrupting Class Dynamics
• Lack of Understanding of Concepts
• Ineffective Collaboration
• Frustration for Teachers and Peers

It is important to practice active participation to create a positive learning environment where everyone can benefit from clear communication.

Talking Back Rudely

Talking back rudely in the classroom disrupts the atmosphere of respect and hinders constructive communication between students and teachers. Prompt communication with parents is essential to address this behavior effectively. By informing parents promptly, educators can work collaboratively to tackle instances of rudeness.

Establishing clear expectations and consequences for disrespectful behavior, such as talking back rudely, is crucial for maintaining a positive classroom environment. Teaching students appropriate ways to express their thoughts and feelings can also help reduce instances of rude retorts, promoting better conflict resolution skills.

Addressing talking back rudely through student discipline, reinforcing respectful interactions, and fostering open communication between parents and teachers can synergistically create a more respectful atmosphere in the classroom.

Interrupting Others Frequently

Frequent interruptions in the classroom can disrupt the learning process and show a lack of consideration for others.

When students interrupt their peers, it can make it hard for everyone to focus and understand. Teachers may need to step in to keep things on track, leading to a chaotic environment.

Communication can also break down when interruptions happen often.

It’s important to address interruptions promptly to maintain a respectful and effective learning environment.

Disregarding Classroom Rules

Disregarding classroom rules can disrupt the learning experience for everyone involved. Ignoring guidelines such as being punctual, using electronic devices inappropriately, or speaking out of turn can interrupt the class flow.

Not following the teacher’s instructions undermines the structure necessary for effective learning and shows a lack of respect for their authority. Such behavior not only leads to academic misconduct but also sets a negative example for others.

Respecting and following classroom rules is crucial for creating a positive and productive learning environment.

Showing a Lack of Respect

In my experience as a student, displaying a dismissive attitude towards classmates or the teacher through interruptions, talking over others, or making disrespectful comments shows a lack of respect in the classroom. This behavior can result in strained relationships, limited learning opportunities, and disciplinary actions.

To promote classroom respect, effective strategies include encouraging active listening, fostering open dialogue, and emphasizing empathy. Open and clear communication between students and teachers is essential to address disrespectful behavior promptly and constructively.

Rolling Eyes Disrespectfully

Eye-rolling disrespectfully in the classroom indicates a lack of respect for the speaker or the topic being discussed. Body language is a powerful form of communication, and eye-rolling conveys disrespect more strongly than words.

Such nonverbal cues can disrupt the classroom environment and create a negative atmosphere. When students display disrespectful behavior like eye-rolling, it impacts social interactions and can strain the relationship between teachers and students, leading to a breakdown in mutual respect.

Addressing this behavior promptly is crucial for maintaining a positive and respectful learning environment.

Making Fun of Others

Making fun of others in the classroom is a harmful behavior that creates a toxic learning environment. It undermines peer acceptance and disrupts social dynamics crucial for a positive educational setting. Engaging in such behavior shows a lack of emotional intelligence and empathy towards classmates.

Instead of fostering a supportive atmosphere, making fun of others can lead to conflicts and strained relationships. To address this issue, promoting activities that build empathy and understanding among students is essential. Teaching conflict resolution strategies helps handle disagreements respectfully.

Using Electronic Devices

Using electronic devices in the classroom can create a disruptive and disrespectful learning environment. Students must grasp the importance of being present and engaged during lessons.

When technology boundaries are crossed, it can lead to classroom distractions that hinder not only the individual’s learning but also that of their peers. Teaching digital manners early on is key to preventing violations of phone policies.

Setting clear expectations for technology use helps students establish a respectful environment where learning takes precedence over distractions.

Not Taking Responsibility

Avoiding responsibility for one’s actions is a common form of disrespectful behavior that can disrupt the classroom environment. When students blame others, make excuses, dodge consequences, shift blame, or deny accountability, it creates a negative atmosphere. Refusing to admit mistakes and instead pointing fingers or creating elaborate excuses not only hinders their own learning but also impacts others.

Addressing this behavior promptly and teaching students the importance of owning up to their actions is crucial for fostering a respectful and accountable classroom environment.

Having witnessed numerous instances of disrespectful behavior in the classroom, it’s evident that this issue is widespread and harmful to the learning environment.

Addressing and correcting these behaviors is crucial to fostering a positive and productive atmosphere for students to thrive in.

Recognizing the impact of disrespectful behavior and taking action are essential steps to ensure a respectful and inclusive classroom for all.

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Teaching respect in the classroom.

There is a huge need for teaching respect in the classroom. At school, it’s an important part of a healthy learning environment. If students and teachers don’t respect each other, there will be behavior problems and constant issues with classroom management. If you’ve been looking for ways to teach respect in your classroom, this post is filled with lessons, activities, and ideas to help you teach respect and promote a healthy learning environment.

My respect resource shown below contains an assortment of materials that will help you teach respect to your students. Check out all the activities below!

Respect Curriculum

Build a positive culture in your classroom and empower students to be their best selves! This respect resource equips you with an entire toolbox of materials to help your students develop and practice positive character traits.

Respect Pacing Guide

Use this pacing guide to map out your entire month of lessons on respect. This will help you set aside enough time to complete as many or as few of the activities as you’d like with students.

Respect Bulletin Board

Whenever I start teaching a new character education trait, I like to create a bulletin board. It’s a great way to introduce and define a new topic and start class discussions. In my respect resource , I include everything you’ll need to introduce respect to your students with a beautiful bulletin display. Keep this display in your classroom for the entire month that you are teaching students about respect.

With my respect resource , you can customize your display to best fit your class. You can add a quote of the week, respect scenarios to discuss as a class, writing prompts for the day or week, and respect posters.

Respect Read Alouds

Read alouds are always a great springboard for discussions. Some of the best conversations in our classroom follow reading a great book together. If you are looking to teach respect, I put together a great collection of books to read. These will help expose your students to the different kinds of respect and help show what they look like. Your students will also see what disrespect looks like and some of the consequences that can arise from disrespectful behavior.

In my Character Education: Respect Resource , I include a list of mentor texts to check out along with link to each that you can use to purchase.

Respect Calendar

A random act of respect calendar is a great way to encourage (and remind) students to do something respectful every day. I made these calendars with the goal of building positive habits! Hopefully, students will wake up each day and think about how to act respectfully even after they finish the calendar.

These calendars are editable so you can change the month, customize the acts of respect to fit your students, and make different versions of the calendar that so students are doing different acts of respect than their classmates each day.

Each day, I like to take a few minutes to talk about the day’s act of respect with your students. Give students examples of ways to complete the act of respect or have students give examples. When students have completed an act of respect, have them color in a square.

Doodle Coloring Reflection Page

A doodle coloring reflection is a great way to get students to think about respect and different ways they can show it. You can include reflection questions, examples of respect, fun quotes, and doodles for students to color.

Respect Myself Selfie Activity

This printable activity helps students think about ways to respect themselves. For this activity, students will brainstorm how they can practice self-respect and what it means to respect themselves. This could be done as a class, in small groups, or individually. Then they will draw a self-portrait and use their self-respect ideas to decorate their selfie.

Specific directions, research tips, planning pages, and multiple templates are included. I also provide materials to help.

Respect Cause & Effect Activity

In this activity, students will consider the consequences of different actions. Then they will color the effects blue if they are negative and orange if they are positive.  

This is a great way to show students the benefits of treating others with respect (and also the pitfalls of being disrespectful).

Would You Rather…? Respect Activity

This activity teaches students to communicate RESPECTFULLY through a game of Would You Rather…? Students will pair up, work together, take turns as speaker, and take turns listening to demonstrate respectful behavior and communication.

Respect Quote of the Week

Have your students analyze different quotes on respect for class discussion. For each week you spend teaching respect in the classroom, you can share a new quote with students. In my respect resource, I include five different quotes with three short-answer questions to help students reflect on the quote’s meaning. I selected quotes that have a unique perspectives on respect and will help you have great discussions with students in your class!

Respect Scenarios

Respect scenarios are a great way to help students understand respect. They allow your students to place themselves in new situations and think about ways to be respectful. I’ve also found that they inspire meaningful conversations and discussions.

You can display the scenarios on your bulletin board for a class discussion or print the scenarios and allow students to work in groups or independently.

Respect Parent Letter

Parent letters are very effective for teaching respect in the classroom. It’s a fantastic way to get parents involved so they can reinforce the character education lessons at home.

The letter included in my respect resource provides parents and families with tools to help them explain, model, and praise respect in the home. Additionally, it includes a list of books and movies that families can enjoy together.

Respect Anchor Chart

I start my unit on teaching respect with an anchor chart. It’s a great reference tool that students can use as they respond to questions, work independently, and contribute to discussions during your character education lessons throughout the month.

You can do this together with students after introducing your bulletin board on respect. It’s also a great activity to accompany a mentor text or read aloud. Students will get the most benefit doing this together as a class. Have students respond to the discussion question and use their answers to complete your anchor chart.

Respect Posters

Posters are great way to remind students of the character trait you are covering each month. In my respect resource , I include three different posters that define respect. Each poster has the same message with different clip art that shows an example of respect.

You can hang the posters on a bulletin board to create a display, display the posters around the classroom or in your hallways, pass the posters out to students to keep at their desks, or use the posters as a cover page in a folder.

Respect Readers Theater

These readers theater scripts are such a great tool for promoting respect in the classroom and at home. They allow your students to get creative and create a memorable experience about showing respect. Additionally, they will help with fluency, comprehension, and speaking and while doing character education.

There are three scripts for students to read and perform:

The Voice of Respect: In this story, a boy named Charlie listens to the voices of Anger, Selfishness, Justice, and Respect as he goes about his day. By the end of this play, students will recognize the different voices and how respect is different than anger, selfishness, and justice.

What Does Respect Mean?: In this story, students will take each letter of R-E-S-P-E-C-T to talk about what it means and sing or say the line from Aretha Franklin’s song, “Respect,” before each letter. This play will help students understand the concept that respect is wide-ranging and can be shown in many different ways.

Show Some Respect, You Animal!: In this story, your students will be playing the roles of a zookeeper named Casey and several disrespectful animals at the zoo. Students will have a lot of fun playing the role of disrespectful animals. Luckily, they have Casey to help them understand why it’s important to be respectful and show some manners!

Respect Writing Prompts + Publishing Pages

Writing prompts encourage students write about respect in a thoughtful and creative way. They are also a great tool to help students reflect on ways to be respectful.

In my respect resource , there are five writing prompts that encourage students to reflect and write about respect. They include writing about a time they witnessed something disrespectful, writing about how to respect a culture, writing about different ways to show respect, writing a short story about showing respect at school, and responding to a writing prompt about two people interviewing for a job. I’ve also included a bulletin board, writing paper, and clipart to turn this into a display for your classroom or hallway.

The individual pillars (kindness, respect, responsibility, courage, cooperation, empathy, generosity, perseverance, friendship, an integrity) each cover an entire month. Each pillar of my Character Education or SEL Curriculum is filled with meaningful lessons, materials, hands-on activities, anchor charts, bulletin board materials, parent letters, and more that will set you up for entire year.

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Five Ways to Manage Disrespect from Students Today

Find out why so many kids are acting this way and what you can do about it.

Posted July 26, 2019

During the 2017-2018 school year, more educators asked me for ideas about managing disrespectful students than any year in my memory . One teacher told me a student in her class was slouching and drifting off to sleep. She walked over to him and requested he sit up straight and pay attention . This 17-year-old high schooler replied, “Make me.” (This sounds like a middle school student from the 1970s to me.)

She said, “I am not going to make you do anything, but I am asking you to sit up in my classroom and engage with the discussion.”

He retorted sarcastically, “You don’t get it. I can’t. You put me to sleep.”

When she responded that if he did not sit up, she would send him to the Assistant Principal’s office, “He spiraled into a flurry of four-letter words, calling her names, cussing like a sailor.”

I wish I could tell you this was an isolated incident, but it happens too many times in American education today.

Three Reasons for the Rise in Disrespect Among Students

Certainly, not all students are disrespectful. Many are raised well by parents who teach them respect. Why, however, are a growing percentage of kids acting this way?

1. Unlike past generations, kids today are not conditioned to respect elders.

Visit China or other Asian cultures, and you notice people are conditioned to respect their elders. We do quite the opposite. Our culture today worships being young and prioritizes youthfulness in our looks, words, and actions. Even older adults attempt to look younger with skinny jeans, cosmetic work, hair color, piercings or tattoos. The message this sends is not that aging is something to embrace, cherish and respect, but it’s something to avoid. In fact, many often make fun of the aging and show less respect than in past generations.

2. Kids feel empowered by their exposure to information.

Today’s kids are part of the first generation that has as much access to information as their parents and teachers. They can easily assume they know as much as adults do. While this is usually not true, they feel less of a need for older adults to inform them, (thanks to Buzzfeed) or to instruct them (thanks to YouTube). Let’s face it—they are the most informed youth generation in modern history. This provides them the feeling of empowerment and even entitlement because they know so much about so many things. Some can ask: why show anyone extra respect if you are as smart as they are?

3. Kids don’t see respect modeled or earned by older generations.

Probably the most glaring reason for students’ disrespect is that older generations have failed to model it for them. Both Baby Boomers and Gen Xers were generations that rebelled against the establishment in their youth. As adults, they now advocate for their kids and can show disrespect for teachers, coaches, administrators, and other authorities. I know. I’ve met them in almost every state I’ve visited. I’ve met employers who say they have parents who lobby for raises or vacation time for their adult children who are now full-time staff members. It’s almost unbelievable. How can we expect anything more from children who watch their parents act this way toward authority?

Managing Disrespect From Students

1. Begin by living a life that’s worthy of respect.

Even though I believe respect should always be shown, many students believe we must earn it. We can’t get it merely by being older. One teen said, “Even fools grow old.” So, before I demand respect, I try to conduct myself in such a way that adds value to others and thereby deserves their respect.

2. Ask questions and be kind.

Display that you are interested in them and that they have dignity in your eyes. Even when you make demands, try to ask rather than tell. Request instead of require. It’s hard for another person—even teens—to “dis” someone who genuinely shows them they love them. What’s that phrase? Kill them with kindness.

3. Don’t raise your voice unnecessarily.

Unless there is a safety issue, adults would never raise their voice or yell at another adult who is a colleague. So, why do we do it with our young? Yelling or shouting is often the first step to creating a culture of disrespect; it is almost as if we’re saying: “What we lack on value or mutual respect—we make up for in volume.”

4. Take the initiative to meet with them.

I’ve discovered that when I observe a disrespectful student, my best approach is to initiate a meeting with them, one on one. A relationship can dissolve distrust or dislike. The very person I am prone to avoid, I need to approach and invest time cultivating a relationship with them.

5. Demonstrate respect before you expect it to be reciprocated.

Leaders go first. They know that people do what people see. Before you ever demand respect from students, look in the mirror and ask yourself: “Have I modeled it for them?” People tend to mirror strong leadership over time—good or bad. Make your strength your display of respect and see if that doesn’t draw a reflection from them.

Tim Elmore is the founder and president of Growing Leaders, an international non-profit organization created to develop emerging leaders.

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Teaching excellence & educational innovation, address problematic student behavior.

Reports of problematic behaviors are on the rise nationally, not only in the classroom but in society at large (Kowalski, 2003).

Some of these immature, irritating, or thoughtless behaviors or “ classroom incivilities ” include:

• lateness or leaving early
• inappropriate cellphone and laptop usage in class
• side conversations
• disregard for deadlines
• grade grubbing
• sniping remarks

These behaviors are not just instructors’ pet peeves; they have real costs including:

• distracting other students and instructor in class
• reducing student participation
• lowering other students' and instructor’s motivation in or out of class
• affecting fairness in grading
• using instructor or TA time unproductively
• feeling disrespected as a fellow learner or authority figure

Possible causes

In order to limit or deal effectively with these behaviors, it is important to understand the factors that cause or facilitate them. The cause can be:

• contingent on individual student situations
• structural to the course

This distinction is important because it orients us towards the causes we can control.

Contingent on individual student situations:

• Health Services
• Counseling and Psychological services
• Academic Development
• Office of the Dean of Student Affairs
• Cultural issues can also play a role. The culture of the US classroom is not homogenous, and expectations for classroom conduct can vary greatly, but they are all informed by the same basic academic values. Students from other cultures who don’t share the same values might not understand implicit expectations for classroom behaviors. MORE on cross-cultural issues .

Structural to the course:

Some of the uncivil behaviors can be inadvertently facilitated by the instructor’s behavior or the course structure . Boice (1998) researched classroom incivilities across a range of courses and reported several findings.

• Professors disagree with students about what counts as uncivil behavior, apart from a few egregious situations. Moreover, there is significant disagreement among different professors, as there is among students.
• Instructor’s age or teaching experience are not a significant determinant of incivilities. Young/novice instructors experience the same average level of incivilities as older/experienced instructors.
• The choice of motivators. Instructors who use negative motivators (e.g., fear, guilt, embarrassment) experience more classroom incivilities than instructors who use positive motivators (e.g., encouragement, praise).
• The number of “immediacy” behaviors (verbal and non-verbal signs of warmth and friendliness). Instructors exhibiting few immediacy behaviors experience significantly more incivilities compared to instructors who exhibit several of those behaviors. In other words, if students perceive the instructor has disengaged from the course and from their learning experience, they disengage in turn, exhibiting the attendant problematic behaviors. Other factors correlate negatively with incivilities, including perceived worth of teaching, clarity and organization, and pacing.

Possible Strategies

Based on these findings and a comprehensive literature review, Sorcinelli (2002) suggests 4 principles to reduce incivilities. The principles are broad enough that each one can be used to generate several concrete strategies.

Define expectations at the outset.

Explicitly letting students know how you want them to behave in class avoids incivilities due to mismatched expectations.

• Define your policies on the syllabus. Clearly articulating your policies and their rationale in a respectful tone can curb undesirable behaviors. See the page on writing the syllabus for more considerations on tone. This link provides some language for policies such as cell-phone and laptop usage.
• Make good use of the first day of class. Use the first day to create the right climate for productive interaction. Highlight the policies on the syllabus and model the behaviors you’d like to see. Follow this link for more on the first day of class .
• Allow student participation in setting ground rules. Having students participate in setting the rules for classroom behavior and interaction might not be feasible for every class but it has the benefit of making the students more invested in the rules. Ask the students to reflect on classes with bad discussions or other students’ behaviors that have been distracting and not conducive to their own learning. Use that list as a starting point for your ground rules. You, of course, retain final decision power.

Decrease anonymity.

Especially in large classes, students can sometimes engage in thoughtless behaviors because the atmosphere feels very depersonalized. You can try several techniques to build connections with students:

• Learn and use names consistently. You can request a photo roster from the HUB, which will make it easier to associate names to faces. Learn a few more names every day, and let students know that you are trying to memorize their names in the first weeks.
• Engage students one-on-one. Use the time right before and after class to make small talk with students. Ask about the weekend, or the homework, or common interests. Some professors schedule lunches with small groups of students throughout the semester to get to know them and to present themselves as more approachable.
• Take advantage of office hours. The one-on-one nature of office hours greatly augments possibilities for interaction, even in larger classes. Some professors have a mandatory office hour during the first week, which they use to meet the students individually and to make themselves available for help when needed.

Seek feedback from students.

Some student incivilities are due to perceived instructor incivilities – instructor’s own lateness or disorganization, rudeness or interruptions when students are speaking.  Seek feedback to double-check student perceptions of you. You can use early course evaluations, or quick in-class anonymous feedback with one –minute papers. You can also designate some students to be class representatives and meet with them periodically during the semester, when they can let you know of general student concerns. See more on assessing your teaching.

Encourage active learning.

Meaningful engagement has obvious benefits for student learning and performance, but it can also bring some side benefits with respect to student behavior in the classroom. In fact, Sorcinelli (1991) points out that in classes that use active learning effectively, students

• feel more responsible for coming to class, and coming prepared
• perceive they pay more attention in class
• feel more responsible for their own learning.

The section on instructional strategies has several suggestions on ways to incorporate active learning in your courses.

References:

Jaffee, D. (1999). I am not a TV: Confessions of a professor. Retrieved July 6, 2007, from http://www.cte.tcu.edu/144.htm.

Kowalski, R. M. (2003). Complaining, teasing, and other annoying behaviors . New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

Boice, R. (1998). "Classroom incivilities." In K. A. Feldman & M. B. Paulson (Eds.), Teaching and learning in the college classroom (2nd ed.) (347-369) . Needham Heights, MA: Simon & Schuster Custom Pub.

Sorcinelli, M. D. (1991). "Research findings on the seven principles." In A. Chickering & Z. Gamson (Eds.), Applying the seven principles for good practice in undergraduate education. New Directions for Teaching and Learning, 47 , 13-25. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Sorcinelli, M. D. (2002). "Promoting civility in large classes." In C. Stanley & E. Porter (Eds.), Engaging large classes: Strategies and techniques for college faculty (44-57). Bolton, MA: Anker.

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Smart Classroom Management

How To Handle The Student Disrespect Sweeping The Country

Since returning to in-person learning, respect has taken a nosedive.

Students are just different.

We all see it. We all know it. The question is, what to do about it?

Well, the usual keys are still in play.

Clear Boundaries

100% Consistency

Calm Enforcement

Keeping your cool regardless of what a student does or says, and doing what you say you’re going to do, are now more important than ever before. Fail on this front and the battles will be constant, the disrespect unrelenting.

However, the time has come for something more.

Not strategies, per se. Those we recommend here at SCM don’t, and shouldn’t, change. It’s the way you interact with students that needs to take on greater significance.

With that in mind, what follows are seven teacher behaviors that when combined will reduce or eliminate any surge in disrespect upending your classroom.

1. Body Language

Timid and weak postures, stances, and movements don’t cut it. You must take up space by standing tall with your shoulders back and head up. Walk and move with purpose or stand still and in one place .

Face your students head on. Don’t fidget or pace. Never show displeasure or frustration. You must not only follow through like a leader, but look like one also. Thus, how you dress matters.

Your clothes need not be expensive, but clean, sharp, and pressed is a must. Some formality shows class and consistency. Sloppiness, casualness, or resembling your students does not.

2. Eye Contact

Eye contact has always been important, but now you must direct it purposefully. Turn to look at—even bore in on—every speaking student. Seek out visual connections as you teach and move about your room.

Look into students as you interact with them. Yes, they may squirm at first until they get used to a strong leader. They may feel uncomfortable.

But they’ll be far less likely to be disrespectful to you. They’ll be less likely to lie , make excuses, and shirk responsibility, which are behaviors that are also on the rise.

Light, hesitant, apologetic, mousy . . .  Speak this way around students in the post-Covid age, and they’ll disregard you with a roll of the eyes and wave of the hand. They may even pretend you’re not there.

You must speak boldly. Use your adult voice, even with younger students. Be clear and unwavering. This doesn’t mean raising your volume, necessarily. Rather, deepen your sound and enunciate fully.

Clarity in manner and projection afford you greater esteem and politeness and will enhance your natural charisma and leadership abilities.

4. Directness

Tell students what you want and what you expect. Add nothing more. Refrain from qualifiers, suggestions, and thinking out loud. Be straightforward with your directions and instruction.

Use as few words as possible . Lean on plain yeses and nos and avoid hemming and hawing and showing uncertainty. Make up your mind quickly or tell students you’ll get back to them with your decision.

Never let them see you unsure of yourself. Vulnerability may have worked in the past, but it’s no longer helpful if you’re among the many teachers experiencing an increase of incivility.

Here at SCM, we’ve long promoted the importance and power of strategic pausing . Now it’s vital. Pause often and for longer periods of time than you ever have.

When you speak, let your instructions and directives hang heavy in the air. Wait them out. Let them settle. Say your peace and then zip it. Your students will regard your words with more weight and relevance.

They’ll listen better. They’ll move to fulfill your directions faster. They’ll approach you politely and with greater appreciation.

If a student does behave disrespectfully, do not react. Stand your ground and wait. Maintain strong eye contact. Stay silent and impassive.

Let their disrespect echo and breathe so they and everyone within earshot knows what it is. Let them feel it. Let their attention fall to you to see what you’ll do.

Then handle it with strength by simply enforcing. Offer no other reaction. Follow your classroom management plan as written, then turn and walk away. Return to what you were doing as if nothing happened.

When you show that it doesn’t get under your skin, that you don’t take their disrespect personally, students stop doing it.

Here at SCM, we don’t recommend talking to students about their misbehavior—lectures, whys, questions, hash-it-outs, should-have-dones, etc.—except under certain specific circumstances.

However, many students nowadays don’t even know they’re being disrespectful . In this case, be sure to let them know later in the day that the way they spoke to you isn’t okay.

You don’t have to go on and on or show your disappointment. It isn’t a discussion. You’re merely informing, educating. It’s a courtesy for their benefit and future reference. There is no need to wait for them to respond or apologize—though they often will.

Just let them know that if it happens again, a rule will be enforced.

You, Not Them

There is a clear crises of disrespect sweeping the country. Every day it seems we hear stories from teachers of remarkable brazenness and rude behavior.

Maybe it’s the year spent at home. Maybe it’s the lack of human connection. Maybe it’s the addiction to social media and smart phones. Maybe it’s the anger and frustration that seems to be affecting everyone from airline passengers to highway drivers.

Regardless, we have to adjust.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t still have a kind and pleasant personality. You can and should still use humor and get excited about your subject matter.

But no longer can you tiptoe your way around your classroom. You can’t shrink away like a frightened wombat or allow yourself to be bullied and intimidated.

Nor can you fight against disrespect with your own brand of fire and fury. Revenge may be sweet in the moment, but it will encourage more and more of what you don’t want.

Instead, you must be a strong presence. You must be a leader of a higher purpose and plane your students can’t help but look up to.

It doesn’t take a lot, mind you.

Following the suggestions above, many of which you’re probably already doing, is enough. It’s enough to push back the wave of disrespect and bring peace to the kingdom.

But you must take charge. Not in an aggressive or angry way, but in a way that leaves no doubt that you’re the leader of the classroom.

And you, not them, set its tone and culture.

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What to read next:

• How To Handle A Student Who Rejects Your Kindness
• How To Handle A Student Whose Grades (And Behavior)…
• How To Handle A Student Who Complains About A Grade
• How To Handle A Student Who Does Zero Work
• How To Handle An Argumentative Student

126 thoughts on “How To Handle The Student Disrespect Sweeping The Country”

Great stuff, Michael. I intend to work harder on all those aspects, starting from Monday.

About eye contact.

When students answer questions in a class discussion, I usually sweep my eyes around the classroom to see if any students are side talking, sleeping, playing with objects or such like, especially as I find that a few students will often take advantage of those moments to misbehave. The need is greater if the student answering is at the front of the room and to the far left or right. Of course the eye sweeping means no direct eye contact with the student answering.

Any thoughts on keeping direct eye contact without losing sight of what other students are doing? Working on the quality of our peripheral vision?

I used to stop the person answering: “Wait a sec, Henry. Someone is being disrespectful and not listening”. This would do two things: 1. validate the students answering, and 2. letting the talking students know to stop their side-bar conversations.

Me too that’s a great strategy!

As I would call on a student to respond, I would casually walk to the opposite side of the classroom, then establish eye-contact with the speaker. This enabled me to keep the rest of the class in sight. It also encouraged students to speak loud enough to be heard by everyone in the class. Students tend to talk to the teacher, so a student sitting in the front of the classroom might not project enough to be heard by those in the back. I found this to be quite effective.

These kids do not care about any of that. If they are disrespectful at home, they will continue to be disrespectful at school. Everyone is blaming Covid which is far from the truth. Being disrespectful isn’t from a year of virtual learning it has always been there. The lack of discipline is the problem, the handling teachers from above as if they are students is a problem. Teachers will never be able to be effective anymore due to the lack of discipline. The teachers hands are tied. When the school boards starting changing things for the worse is when this all started, this did not begin during Covid it was always the problem. The difference now is more students think that they are adults and don’t have to follow rules. Until things are put in place to change the outcome will be the same

I agree with you! This behavior was way before COVID. When I see students being rewarded for their behavior, what do we expect? You don’t give a kid a popsicle for being disrespectful or reward him with a teddy bear or say thank you for misbehaving. Those are some of the things I see done over and over. Kids are the ones making the rules. I am a combat veteran (no I don’t need thank yous, just want to make a point). I survived Kosovo and Afghanistan, but the other day I almost got smacked by a rock. A kid was ready to throw a rock at me! He is not a little kid. What***…I mean, I survived combat and won’t survive a 4th grader? Something is totally wrong!

I would have to disagree with what you have said about the disrespect coming from home, I’m a 5’4 female and I can approach one of those ‘bad’ students and strike a deep conversation up with them, next thing you know they’re asking if I need to help to carry things from my van, asking if I’m hungry and if I want anything to eat or drink. Now, that there just shows me that some, don’t get respect at home and what they are doing in school is how they have been conditioned and now bringing that behaviour and using it on ‘others’ to get them (us) to listen. This after covid.

As for the rest of your comment I see where you are coming from but to be fair, if you are a kaiako, this is your calling so to speak, it should be your passion to help find ways around the barriers that keep being put infront of our rangatahi. If we keep putting the blame on other things we will never be able to work together, instead, find solutions.

Situations and circumstances are a big part of this conversation. Unfortunately, the lack of discipline is the problem. I’m not sure where you work, but in my school, most of our kids need a strong hand to set them straight.

We also have to look at what we mean by “bad”. Let’s use your example of approaching a “bad” student and striking a deep conversation with that child. What happens when that kid is around their friends? If this specific group of kids is a collective group of kids that like to purposely disrespect adults, there is no striking up a convo. I’m talking about the actual kids that have a terrible home life. We all love to look at this conversation as “we can get through to them”. Why do you think we have angry and rebellious adults in the world? Some people just don’t get it and they don’t want to get it. The gang culture may be a little different, but it’s coming back…especially in my city. There is no getting through to some of these kids. A lot of them don’t see the value of school and based on their surroundings and family history, will never care about school. Have you ever walked up to a gang member or thug and struck up a conversation? Have you willingly struck up a conversation with the disrespectful young girl that cusses with every other word and only wants you to leave her alone?

I hope and pray you don’t think I’m attacking you with my response. Honestly, I understand what you wrote and I believe there are situations where the aforementioned instructions can be useful. At the same time, we can not ignore what Rodrick said. It’s the truth. I’ve worked with teenagers for years now, and what works is definitely being a strong leader, but also being vulnerable. As the “authority” some kids will never listen to you because they have been abused by the “authority”. Some need to be reminded swiftly that “you don’t take mess” and will not stand for disrespect. However, there are a few that won’t care no matter what you do. Those are the kids or students that we can’t allow to distract the kids we can reach.

Sorry I went on a tangent. Everything in this article was completely opposite of what they’re teaching our school assistants. I don’t think anyone knows what to do because the situations have too many variables to set one set of rules or instructions in place.

You have to learn how to adapt to each student. If they don’t want to learn, send them to the counselors that are supposed to deal with those problems. We need to stop putting everything on teachers. They are supposed to teach not babysit, counsel, train, advise, and all the other “hats” we put on them.

It’s just like Tammy said, “it takes a village”.

I completely agree. I’ve just left an MFL supply post as four of my classes were untenable. I was treated with rudeness and disrespect from several students from the moment they walked in. I just couldn’t get the lessons taught effectively. I know I’m not the toughest of characters, but I know I can teach my subject well and feel sorry for those kids who genuinely wanted to get on and learn with me, in an atmosphere of kindness, interest, respect and support.

I totally agree with you. Disrespectful exists before Covid and now it is even worst. The thing is that if there is not a consequence for that student who is disrespectful, the others student will think is okay to behave like that with this teacher. And talking to their parents does not work, some are enabler, or they can’t do anything about it. I’m referring to secondary students from Ecuador.

I agree. The same disrespect is now being shown by parents. It seems as though we have forgotten that it “takes a village”.

This is the biggest issue in my school. It seems as though a big part of the media is making teachers the enemy and so parents do not have our backs. They also openly speak out against teachers to their kids which gives the kids the idea that teachers and schools are out to get them. There is no village. There are villagers with pitch forks and teachers and staff being chased out systematically.

As long as there are no consequences, kids are going to get worse, not better. I had to resign my position today after being assaulted, disrespected waaaaaayyyyy too many times with evidence and input into the “system” and being called horrific things, including racial slurs. I’m done and going back to corporate America. Good luck to the schools. It’s completely out of control and with no consequences I’m unable to do this. Teachers are being abused. And that’s not OK.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! This is 100% TRUE!! Teachers can’t enforce consequences because there aren’t any that make a difference to the kids who do whatever they want/don’t want!! Teachers can No longer give legitimate consequences because we are so micromanaged! Instead, we have to tolerate the disrespectful students all day, every day!! This is my 23rd year of teaching, and every year the disrespect gets worse!

Agreed. This is my 17th and I’m hanging on for dear life until I complete 20 so I can get my basic retirement and get the hell out. I teach Art I – IV and the Art I classes won’t even acknowledge my existence anymore! I’ve stopped trying to get their attention and I teach to the four or so students who want to learn and pass. It had become so disheartening. And the kids don’t even dislike me! And I don’t even hear from parents about how many kids are failing. I have a 49% failure in my last class since the start of the year because of not turning in work! IN ART!!! Our school system started taking a dive before Covid, and now we can’t even get disciplinarian backup at our own school. The kids run the place.

I needed to see this post! Thank you !

Thank you, Michael. Unfortunately, there are little to no rules that are enforced at my school and the students know it. My teaching partner resigned this week because of the lack of consequences and admin support. The disrespect is mind blowing. Students refuse to work in class and continue to disrupt others. There is no place to send them or consequences for their actions. I will look forward to responses to my post. I am a seasoned teacher and do not teach at-risk students. The academic and behavior bar was lowered during covid and now it is impossible to raise it.

If it’s already impossible, then you’ve surrendered your authority. There’s no advice good enough to someone who has already given up before the fight to reclaim your authority in the classroom has even begun. That’s the first and most important step: the willingness to take the wheel.

A teacher can “take the wheel” with full authority in their classroom, but if it is not backed up by the administration, it’s empty – and the students know it. I’m grateful for a solid administration that cares about its students enough to stand firm.

If you rely on an administrator to manage your classroom, you have surrendered your authority and will not be successful. You should be able to manage your own classroom. The administrator is not your classroom management system.

I respectfully disagree. At my current school we have out of control KINDERS! (at least 6 in a 4 section school). Not kidding, there’s no way a teacher can be successful with all her kids while dealing with these troubled kids. They literally run around like the Gingerbread Man daring someone to catch them. They run out of the room. They climb on furniture. They scream. We have a “behavior team” along with 2 principals. They just watch the kid doing this stuff until they run themselves out. They supposedly use “Boys Town”, which in my opinion is not the right program for a public school as a whole. But that’s beside the point. There’s a little empty room that they’ve started using where these kids can beat on the wall and scream it out. They excuse this behavior to “Trauma”. I do not discount trauma at all, but in my opinion that’s not an excuse to allow this type of behavior “until the child can regulate” himself. Speaking in a calm voice may be necessary and the right thing to do, but it does not stop these behaviors. Consequences? What consequences? Scream it out, kick, tip garbage cans over, whatever. Then once he’s regulated, send him right back into the classroom with a piece of candy. The administration MUST support classroom teachers, and the other kids should be considered too.

Admin may not BE the system but they have to support the system. When you have students that Tier 1 supports don’t work, and are even going through Tier 2, then Admin needs to be that Tier 3 support.

It’s not about surrendering or relying on administration, many administration don’t want you to handle your classroom the way that you can, you must be part of admin, that’s the first thing they scream is not being able to have classroom management. No, how about being consistent in the front office and have the staff backs. It’s a teacher shortage now because of that and no teacher will not stand for foolishness in a classroom from kids like y’all expect us to. Me myself I can handle any situation because my background is education or suburban living, it’s a major difference. When the heads of the schools wake up thats when things can be fixed, until then it’s lean on me at these schools.

No, the administrator is not the management system, however, he or she is a cog in the machinery. For example, in my school, after I have assigned X number of detentions the infractions move up to office referrals which then fall on the administrator to assgin the consequences.

Our dear friend, Debi, is trying. It is not her doing that the administrator(s) is not showing up and doing his or her job. Don’t blame her. Yes, she can continue to follow her classroom management plan, and should, absolutely. I think we can all agree that our jobs are made easier with administrative support.

Regardless of what the administrators do, we all need to continue enforcing our rules as best we can. Then the failure falls at the administrator’s door. They will suffer consequences for their lack of action by and by.

I totally agree with the fact that you shouldn’t rely on an administrator to manage your class. As a matter of fact, I don’t like them addressing my students in my own class with me there…at all. In that case I agree and feel that you have in fact surrendered your authority; any administrator should know that’s bad practice; it doesn’t help, but quite the opposite. But…I think it’s safe to assume that when Pamela talks about “managing your class”, she probably means when you have done everything you needed to do, but you come to a point where you need a student removed…period. You may agree with the fact that if a student simply curses you out, he will need to be removed immediately. In this case, I believe there is no “surrendering”, but a “transfer of authority” instead. And the problem here occurs when, instead of implementing the discipline tools they have as administrators (that WE DON’T), they “transfer back” instead, and by that, I mean when they show up 10 minutes later asking you that “if the student apologizes would you accept them back???!!! Excuse me?!?!? That is a disrespect to a teacher’s professionalism. The assumption is we haven’t given them enough opportunities, warnings, etc. We, as teachers are saying: I have tried everything and it didn’t work out. This students has to be in your hands now. If they come back asking for the student to be back in class they are putting us on the spot, not the students. Actions HAVE to have consequences, whether an apology is given or not. Why? Because if the students know that’s their way out, they’ll not only “apologize”; but they will curse you or any other teacher out again down the road, sooner or later.

You can show that you have all the authority in the world, but we when there are no consequences for rude, disrespectful & disruptive behavior, you’re at a loss!! We’ve tolerated disrespectful behaviors for too many years!!! No other job expects you to be disrespected, so why should teaching?!?! If a student is plain rude, insubordinate, insulting, disruptive and this behavior is allowed to continue, we’re dead in the water.

I find your comment rude and condescending. I also work at a school that was always considered “the” place to send your kids. Enter a new Superintendent who wants to play politics and a principal from out of town more concerned with impressing and watching the numbers than supporting her staff, then Covid hits, and everything went to hell. The kids came back feral, the parents have been fine with it, and the school board and Discipline team have rolled over and played dead. If you think I have any real authority against a room of 32 teenagers with phones who don’t even know I exist and don’t know what disrespect is, you must live and work in a really nice place. I’ve managed my classes very well for years, and now it seems classroom management is making sure a fight doesn’t break out as they constantly keep snatching each others’ phones. And no, they’re not supposed to have them out. But they can between classes, and we aren’t supposed to take them. And you can write them up, but if there are too many write ups you get “told something” about the numbers of kids you’re writing up. And the write ups I’ve done so far have resulted in “conferenced with student”. Wow…I already did that! Thanks for….nothing.

I am so thankful for Michael’s posts and ideas – they’ve helped my colleagues and me enormously.

But, when I take a student’s Chromebook because they refuse to stop playing online games (per the well-known rules of my classroom), I’m told (by parents and/or admin) that I absolutely cannot do that. I always provide a paper copy of the assignment, so I continue using this consequence.

However, the kids know I’m treading hot water with my policy, and it’s getting harder and harder to enforce it.

We’re told that “the poor grade the student will eventually receive” for not doing their classwork is the true, and only, consequence.

Okay. Yet, I’m not allowed to “give” (it’s not giving: it’s what they earned) any student a failing grade, either! If I dare, I have admin and parents down my throat: “Why didn’t you ever communicate with parents that Joey was failing?!” (“I did. Remember when I told you – about nine separate times – that he wouldn’t stop playing online games? And still had about a 37 average, mid-quarter? And that I was more than worried he’d fail, seeing as I wasn’t allowed to take his Chromebook away, and he didn’t care, and his parents never answered my emails or phone calls? Oh, and also – I Cc’d you and the superintendent on every. single. email.”)

Both parents and admin will then ask what “Joey” can do to raise his grade. For the quarter? Two days before it ends? No. I am NOT creating extra credit for students who refuse to create create in the first place. I’m not staying up to create some Mickey-Mouse-extra-credit project that’s supposed to represent 3 months of my lessons, and, should Joey complete it, he’ll have caught up to his peers in knowledge and classwork. How fair is that? I don’t mean just to me, but to everyone? The other students, as well as Joey? What’s that going to relay to him? That “I can continue gaming in Ms. Molly’s class, and at the end of the quarter my parents will demand she create something to save my a**.”

Here’s what Joey can do: the f#%*ing work assigned to him, and to every student in the class.

(Sorry for the rant; super hard week. Feeling so discouraged and hands-tied.)

Our school district uses a program called Go Guardian. This program allows educators to control what sites a student can access. I have awarded my classes the ability to only access the sites for my assignments. It has really helped keep my students focused. It even lets me control the number of tabs they open. I love it! Perhaps this could be something you s your district could look into. Hang in there!

I love Go Guardian, but my district refuses to pay for it because they said teachers will just sit at their desks and stare at the computer screen instead of walking around the room and connecting with students. That’s an excuse, blaming an expected teacher behavior that is insulting instead of just admitting it’s too expensive and they don’t think it’s worth the money because they’re not in the classroom dealing with it!

What did your admin say you should do instead? Did they give you an alternative?

Do you have an ap where you can exit students out of games on their chromebook? At the school I’m at, it’s called Hapra. I can see what they are on and exit them out, or pause their screen.

You are not the only one feeling this way. For far too long, schools and school districts have been telling teachers we “cannot fail students”, “lowest grade we can give is a 60%”, etc. My suggestion? Document, document, document…print out every text message, every email, every message,EVERYTHING. Continue cc: Admin and Sup, that will show-up on the documents you print out. When the parents report to Admin because their kid FAILED (because let’s be honest, the kid is the one that failed to do any work), pull out the thick file of documentation for that student and begin: on (date) I called and left a message, on (date) I sent an email, etc. blow-by-blow. At some point, the parents may become embarrassed that it is THEIR negligence that has allowed their kid to fail.

You can outsmart the opposition. Think of alternatives. For example, for the students who fail because they didn’t complete their work, offer them (and the administration) a contract. List every incomplete assignment, set a due date, and offer to file a change-of-grade order, when the work has been satisfactorily completed. Do not let the make-up work replace new work. The key is to offer a reasonable second chance to all involved. You’re the professional, not the victim.

Awesome to read, I feel your passion!

I also work in a “minimal consequences” school… and it is so frustrating! Hang in there – teachers who care enough to seek solutions are like gold!!

Idea: when “Joey’s” parents ask for extra credit – hand them the printed copies of every assignment (but one) and say “This is the extra credit”. Idea: Have a pre-packaged project … depending on age of students. Mine is a research project that will add UP TO 10 points on their grade. Of course, I am in a district where we cannot post any grade lower than a 50, so 10 points will pass them. No one has successfully completed it for all 10 points…. because spelling and grammar count, and practically no middle school student knows how to use capital letters. Good luck!

Get ‘em Molly. So frustrating! Thank you for all you do! 💞

THIS MOLLY! All of THIS! You’re not the only one fighting this battle!

When students are playing video games, I can delete that screen remotely. If it continues, I can turn off their computer remotely. This seems to have the desired affect without taking the computer away.

You are awesome Kelly Killarney!!!!!!! I was reading your post with the same energy used in writing it. Standing strong and firm – the only way to go. I love when parents say – what can we do to help him/her? How about…What can he/she do??!! Parents feel they need to defend themselves – and I excitedly tell them – let’s switch the question around. Why is the student the last to be held accountable??!! I teach 6th grade Math and have a reputation as being tough. One kid expressed it as tough love. Respect is earned, learned and returned! Amen?? Amen!!

This!! Every single word of it. You are not alone in what you are experiencing from both parents and administrators. I have no solutions just empathy.

Molly- this is spot on. At a parent conference about a students misbehavior, both parents were speaking to me in threat of tones. This was a Thursday after school. Lasted an hour. I took the next day off and resigned the following Monday. Admin was at the conference and made no effort to interrupt the verbal threat. The student was written up by the substitute when I was out the next day. She was our former athletic coordinator. Guess what admin said? “ Oh, the front office said that sub isn’t very good”. Are you kidding me?

I feel your pain. I taught school for 48 years, mostly Pre-K and kinder. One principal told me I couldn’t read fairy tales to my students because one of the parents complained that the fairy tales frightened her child. Fairy tales were part of our curriculum. This student was one of the worst behaved in the class and his parents would allow him to watch horror movies! Go go figure!

You shouldn’t feel that way. The reason being giving students a grade just so the school looks good will show up during testing times, and those students who should have a failing grade will not make the mark. The schools are only concerned with that part only and this is why behavior is a major problem

Stand by your standards.

I see and hear you Molly! It is certainly the lack of support – from parents first, now some admin. We have GOT to do something and quick! Education is on FIRE! It’s an emergency! Those of us on the front lines see and deal with it every day.

Thank you for a so accurate account of what happens in the classroom. Just those learners who press you for more work that makes these inconsequentials worth the effort. What they do not understand that every “victory” they win now will eventually catch up to them and then then will ask what went wrong. The parents and administrators do not understand what disservice we are doing to them by being so “understanding”

I SO agree with you on this point!! So happy someone else articulated EXACTLY how I feel! Parents have access to their student’s grades 24/7 and I grade almost daily. They claim they can’t SEE what “Joey” did or didn’t do. Because of this, I have asked for conferences, called home, & emailed and get that same bull$#%! question, “why didn’t anyone let me know he wasn’t turning in work?” AMAZING! But yet they are perfectly able to receive (AND send), about 24 million texts to & from their kid (IN CLASS!, even though it violates the very behavior policy they BOTH signed off on!), but they somehow cannot master seeing the multiple attempts to contact them or master the act of looking up their kids grades!

AMEN!!! AMEN!!! 100% TRUTH!!!

I agree with you 100%. I think all of the strategies mentioned are good in theory and will work in some schools. If administration does not enforce the policies it creates, however, there is not much a teacher can do. Assigning detention is ineffective if an administrator will veto it. And looking directly at a student can be considered a form of intimidation/bullying. I feel this course should first be taken by administrators (be consistent, be professional, etc.) and then be taught to teachers and staff.

Maybe this will help. We do not have an ISS or detention room. Very small school, but sometimes you need a kid out of the room. So we teachers each created a desk away from the class in each room. And when you get to that point, you can send the child to a sister classroom. Often times this is enough to get things settled down and later the child can come back to class with no more problems.

I have been in your boat and it is really kind of dangerous. Because you can’t take care of the small, big things get out of hand quickly. I have a principal now, that if the sister classroom doesn’t work, he sends them home. It has helped immensely.

PLEASE HAVE YOUR PRINCIPAL/ADMIN COME TO THE REST OF OUR SCHOOLS ASAP!! Kudos to your admin.!!!!

I’m in a preschool classroom and we are experiencing the same problem. The kids directly tell us no when asked to do something. We are hit, kicked and cursed at. There are no consequences and we leave work feeling defeated daily. It’s a whole new world in the classroom

Same thing, only in kindergarten. And it’s absurd. And if we CONTINUE to put up with a horribly broken system, thinking that in some way we can “fix” it, we are quite deceived. It’s going to take teachers having the sheer guts to say NO and walk away from the position if we have to. If we going on trying to work within the chaos, which we can’t, it will only get worse. Parents, admins, etc. will only wake-up when they are forced to. But as long as we’re willing to put-up with it, it’s our own fault. What’s the definition of “insanity”? Well, we all know the answer to that question.

Since Kinder and pre-school are not mandatory, why can’t you tell the parents the kiddo just isn’t ready for school and tell them to bring the kiddo back when the little darling can do as they are asked/told and have matured? Every mother thinks her Goose is a Swan.. If parents use school as childcare, even in high school, it’s a red flag for behavior issues

We have the same problem. Staff quitting left and right which puts more stress on the rest of the staff because we loose our lunch and planning times almost every day. At this point the children run the school not the staff and it is so very frustrating. If we do not have strong leaders, I see no hope for us teachers or students.

I am a long term sub and I feel like I’m climbing a hill everyday. Students are so rude and seem to thrive on being mean or rude. When did it be okay to act this way? There are no consequences for their behavior from admin or parents. All I’m doing is trying to be an effective sub to follow a lesson plan. I’m long term because teachers are burnt out or just quit.

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. None of the old tried and true techniques stop the kids from misbehaving. There is nothing admin is willing to do that helps the situation. Consequences are nonexistent or not tough enough. Parents skip talking to the teacher and complain to admin that the teacher is being mean. (Meaning, I’m responding the same way I have been for 24 years, except I’m much kinder now.) Admin listens to the student’s story, then conducts a “covert investigation” to see what the teacher does in the classroom, tells the teacher the parent complained (without giving any guidance or having the parent come in for a meeting,) and the students continue to rule the roost. The only difference is that now I am painfully conscious of the fact that everything I say or do is being watched for the slightest human error. If a teacher of 24 years doesn’t have anything in her/his “toolbox” that will stop this behavior, I don’t even know what the newer teachers are doing or thinking. Sometimes I wonder if I really am the problem because I’m an older teacher. That makes me angry. I shouldn’t have to feel like my years of experience and knowledge are worthless now.

I, too, as a 26 year teacher feel exactly like this. It’s not us as this article and the other comments are indicating. Hang in there. I’m trying to, also.

Debi, this might seem like a simplistic concept, but it might be worth a try. It’s important for all educators to recognize that the word “discipline” comes from a Latin word which means “to learn.” Effective discipline is not about punishments, it is about “teachable moments” for educators to help students recognize that what they said or did was not acceptable and will not be tolerated. I’m sorry to read that you have a lack of admin support, but you still have the opportunity to use Michael’s recommendations to take charge of your own classroom environment. When you respond to inappropriate behavior with confidence and consistency, your students will appreciate the boundaries you’ve set for them. Kids truly want to know what they can get away with,… and what they can’t.

Your response does nothing to help the fact that teachers have zero authority left!!!!!!!!

Admin means nothing. Really. So you send the kid out of class, they return in a few minutes. Principal not calling the parents. YOU need to email parents….extreme ownership!!!!

Maybe you have to be different in the way you engage them.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I will definitely continue to present myself like a leader. So glad you mentioned the dress component. This information presented is critical.

Hello?!?! Dressing in a suit and tie is not going to change their disrespect disruptive behavior!! Nor will it give you any authority to enforce consequences or “teachable moments!” Those days are long gone! Schools are afraid of disappointing parents!! Teachers don’t have a leg to stand on!!

Disrespect is at an all time high. But this works. Most times with most students, I just now have to look at them to stop the behavior. I have been reading the blog for years and love it.

Thank you so much for this post! It was just what I needed. I have been slipping into allowing my frustration to show, and I am ashamed to say my volume and tone have reflected my frustration. I will recalibrate and start again with a more calm, deliberate attitude.

Yes, I too need to change my volume and tone.

Good email. I need to reread a few times to internalize. My current issue is that I have a senior class that acts like pre-K. Usually with my seniors I can do some fun activities, which takes extra prep & mental energy but I enjoy it….but this group has me at the state of “I’ll just cover whatever is in the text.” Example – yesterday the students had to go to school super early for a special event, so I thought it would be a nice break to walk to Starbucks (next to the school) & we would use those prices as data for a stats project. When I tried to explain the rules of how this would work, they wouldn’t shut up for 5 min. When we left a couple students asked if they could stay at the office to study for a test, so I said “ok”. When we got to Starbucks 3 students didn’t bring masks so they said they would run back to the school to get one. Needless to say, they never came back…and when we all returned the students were all in my class by themselves, not in the front office, and one was missing. I was livid but I didn’t let it show. I just asked why they didn’t stay in the office & where the missing student was. They said the office was too full once the other 3 came back and the other student was found. I didn’t show anger. I just shut down the last couple minutes of class…..and I don’t ever feel like doing anything out of the ordinary for any of my classes right now. Not sure what to do consequences-wise. Do I simply ding their grade for not following directions? Do I have a discussion on Mon to present my point of view. Not sure….maybe this is all just a sign that I think too much in my off hours about fun things to do and I need to stop doing that & just teach the material. It’s just hard bc when I was a student, if a teacher ever did something like this, I would think it’s the coolest thing ever. Maybe it’s as simple as most of my students are just ridiculously spoiled?? :/

Before leaving for Starbucks do the following: 1. Explain the purpose of the activity 2. Behavior expectations 3 make sure everyone has masks 4 everyone participates instead of staying behind to complete classwork. They could have done this by looking up Starbucks website so you would have to make the purpose of the walking trip clear and it has to relate to the Common Core Standards. Also remind them that they represent the school while they are out at a business.

I am not Michael Linsin, but I would imagine you would need to think through the things that could go wrong and develop a plan of consequences. Restate the goals to the class before starting and the consequences of not following through. Then follow through with consequences.

That was a great idea, but maybe you got the process in the reverse order. You could have supplied the data and organized a group to go to Starbucks, with an adult to supervise, once the assignment was complete. You would stay with the students who didn’t finish to keep them working. Better yet, maybe Starbucks would have given a gift card to everyone who completed the work. Visiting the Starbucks is a better reward than an incentive.

First, a “nice break” sounds like a party with no relationship to standards or expectations.

I think if I had tried to introduce something for a “nice break” and then they wouldn’t be quiet whilst explaining, I would have just said Never Mind.

If they would have sobered up and been attentive at that point, I would have explained expectations to the Nth degree.

And Finally, I would not have let part of the class do something else.

Once my slgebra teacher suddenly announced that we would walk across the road to downtown to eat pancakes for breakfast. even if we did not have any money or couldn’t enjoy the company of some of the sarcastic peers with whom you would never have fellowship in vain, especially if you prefer to be a loner or YOU WILL NOT PRETEND TO HAVE A CHOICE TO BE OF GOOD CHEER WHETHER AT SCHOOL OR ON VACATION AT CHRISTMAS, EASTER, ELECTION DAY, THANKSGIVING; EXCEPT MAYBE, UNLIKE MANY TWICE AND THREE TIMES YOUR AGE, DURING AN EVACUATION FROM AN UNSCHEDULED BLIZZARD OR TROPICAL CYCLONE, because well, you are a child and you don’t have the competency to influence serenity, and the duty to leave is a case of respect when people are compelled to accept serenity not humiliating those who are perfectly “entitled” to be weak and wretched if they have to be and if this grace to save them is disavowed to be insufficient to their purposes to dare danger with false hope.. I finally figured out years later that it was to make fun of the mystery of solving for the unknown while thinking seriously that a good meal, as in “God is good, God is great, Let us thank him for the food on our plate”, solves everything to make it known—when my father proved that we would never be forgiven of our shortcomings as we are seen “to be in need of” with a big stack of pancakes after a short walk to the café, and my mother agreed by trying to prove it to others as a Geometry teacher.

I have one student who has disappeared twice during outings. Luckily, his mother is supportive and chided him about it-it is a safety issue and that’s been made clear to these high school kids. The consequence could be that they don’t get to participate in any more fun things and have to sit in ISS, if you have one, doing the assignment with more reading/writing/project rubric attached to it due the next day.

Excellent strategies!

A real problem, and often times their parents are worse. I think this is one of the reasons a lot of teachers are leaving.

I had a student swear at me, using pretty vulgar words. I calmly handed it, and later he said, “I don’t know why you said I was swearing at you, I was not.” Turns out he really didn’t know which words were swear words… “That’s just how my family talks.”

This is great dog training. Try biting their ear every once in a while to keep your alpha position.

Kids dont need alpha leadership when theg have been hurt and neglected for a year.

Are you serious right now? Are you even a teacher? We are there to teach. If they are rude, interrupting class, swearing, then they are stopping the learning of all students and they will not be learning how to be a empathetic person or a member of a functional society. You can give SEL while making sure all students are able to learn and be safe.

Exactly. It’s not either/or.

Kids need it more than EVER when they’ve been “hurt and neglected for a year.”

You know what limits and consequences say to a student? They say: “I CARE. I care about you. It MATTERS to me that you know exactly where the limits of this class are, and it MATTERS to me that you know you received the predictable and fair consequence; the same one ANY child will and has received when they’ve jeopardized others’ opportunities to learn – as well as their own. I care about you, and I will not allow you to become out of control with bigger and riskier misbehaviors while you try to find what it’ll take for me to stop you. Please don’t worry: you won’t have to put your hand on the stove to actually find out just how far you can go. I’ll stop you LONG before that. In fact, YOU’LL stop you long before that … because you’ll KNOW where the boundaries are. And we can get to the most important reason we’re here: to learn.”

Thank you for this response to Zyan.

Great comments, Molly. Thanks

Oh my God, wow. Thank you. I really needed this. After losing my sh** yesterday (for the very first time in my 20-year career) on a 7th grader on a field trip walk downtown, after he had refused all day to give up or put away his cell phone or earbuds and then actually walked into a light pole (!!), but STILL would not put them away or hand them over (we ended up planted on the sidewalk until his mother left work to come get him), I spent the entire evening wondering what on earth was happening at our school. The level of defiance and disrespect and blatant disregard for following rules, and the heroin-like addiction these students have to their phones, I was lower than I’ve been in a while. Thank you for this article. Could you now PLEASE write one on strategies to fight that addiction, especially when parents also seem unable to enforce cell phone rules at home? Please?

Yes, yes and yes! These are the skills and habits I have cultivated with thorough indoctrination from your many writings. And it is truth. Yesterday, when I gave an important responsibility to a group of four 7th grade boys, a few of their classmates asked me wonderingly, “Do you trust them?” and another even questioned my choice with, “You probably shouldn’t trust them.” I stated matter of factly that I DO trust them, and it will be fine. Then one of the more mature girls in the class faced the nay-sayers. She said, “We have a confident teacher. She knows what she’s doing.” Wow! To hear it from a student, publicly, that they see my confidence and my ability to manage the classroom, really meant the world. Turns out, my trust was not misplaced. The students in question handled their responsibility, well, responsibly. In large part, this is because SCM expectations have been ingrained since day one of the school year. I read about nightmares that other teachers are living through, and I cringe, because I’ve been there. If the teachers ask for help, I send them a private message, directing them to SCM. Your impact continues to widen, and I continue to be very grateful for your wisdom.

Spot on! Thanks!!

I have found this to be a problem as a supply teacher (substitute, on-call, occasional). I really lost my usually calm, laid-back attitude last week with a group who were so disrespectful it was mind-boggling. My job is to get through the day, following the teacher’s plans to the best of my ability. To be honest, most teachers and admin, just want to make sure that everyone is safe and there is no necessary paperwork. I was covering the same teacher for 3 days, and every time I saw this class, they just ignored me. They would walk into the class, take out their phones (which they weren’t supposed to be using), and just turn their backs on me and start talking. I tried all my tricks (I have been teaching for 15 years, as a homeroom teacher and Math and English), and none really worked. The ideas that you share are really good and needed to be started at the beginning of the year if you are a regular teacher. As a supply, there really is a fine balance. Sometimes, a class just has a bad dynamic and it won’t work. Although I was able to teach and clarify what they were learning in Math, they didn’t care.

I love all of your posts. They resonate so well with my teaching philosophy and my students. Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad I signed up to receive your regular insights.

These are the strategies I used before I retired 15 years ago. I finished using them with a part time teaching position for which I was hired , for six years at a private Christian school thereafter . Though they were not popular, they were effective, Great effective strategies ,

They do zero class work and are disrespectful when you ask the child to work but administration still will pass the student to higher grade levels. Administration does not back up teachers with consequences. Children roaming the halls. Where does it end?

The expectation for classroom control has to come from the building administrator, originating with the parents. Without that combination, good luck–you are on your own trying to manage a classroom. Understandable consequences WITH TEETH will work for most, and the office needs to be ready for the rest of them. Remember-with any group of kids, and more so as they get older, 85% will watch for what is expected and produce accordingly. 5% will defy any and all directions, and the remaining 10% will watch to find out which is dominant and will go with that. I did 41 years in public ed., incl. 2 as a HS VP.

Thank you, Michael, for all your work. Just wanted to add that it seems they are crueler to one another as well. Have heard this from others and see it. Also, I’m sure you have heard of the Tik Toc trends: tear up your school bathroom, poop on the floor, hit your teacher. All to be filmed. One of my fellow teachers got a random (out of the blue) email from a former student. It came while he was supposed to be in class at the high school. (We teach middle school. ) It was so cruel, mean, and hateful. Telling her how much he disliked her, that he acted like they were cool but they weren’t, he really hated her etc etc. I mention this just to be informative. We think it was in response to the Tic tok stuff. It makes me sad, but as you’ve said we have to keep on keeping on. We have a higher purpose and it’s not about how the kids react. Thank you!

About eye contact, I agree! I notice when I give my full attention to a speaker the class is more likely to model it. If I’m too busy monitoring my class’ behavior while a student is speaking, it actually undercuts the importance of the speaker. It’s unnerving, but it does work!

Also…..my students almost pushed me down the stairs at dismissal. I almost started swinging on them. At what point do you just determine an atmosphere is too dangerous and toxic for these strategies?

I was in education for 52 years and nothing today is the same as it was when I started teaching. I’d like to propose a few thoughts to validate what has been suggested, as those thing proposed do work for some students. One of the most important things is not to “personalize” student comments or defiance. Once we label a behavior as a challenge to our authority, we are done. Stay calm and realize that you are dealing with an immature mind, not an adult. What is right is some homes, is wrong in others. What is proper in one homes, is not in others. What is acceptable in one home, is not in another. Point? We are expected to lay down “rules or expectations” that are common and utilized in all family cultures, and that is impossible to do, for most of us had 25 different family cultures in the room at the same time. Level with the kids about your expectations. Try to give them something to “live up to” instead of a “rule” that is easy to break. For those students who continually “act out”, talk with them after class or after school and try to unlock and unmask the behaviors. Ask the kids what you can do to help them or assist them in doing what is expected. “What do you need from me, in order to help you and our relationship?” Most of the time, the kids are not rebelling against you, but against something at home or with other students. Most of all, give yourself a break. End the day sitting quietly and recount 10 things that you did during the day that assisted kids or that were positive. Leave the negative behind and meet tomorrow with a fresh mindset. We have no strategies that work for all students. The only person you can truly be responsible for is yourself. Stay calm. Don’t personalize and try to unmask the reasons for the behaviors.

There is so much wisdom in this comment. Thank you for taking the time to write it. Much love and respect!

But society has standardized laws and doesn’t give a hoot about what your home life is like. Having basic standard rules that apply to all at least gives you a foundation to start with.

The behavior that I am seeing this year that I don’t recall from the past is criticism. I cannot make a simple mistake without several students bringing it to my attention. It may be something simple like, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” and tomorrow is Saturday or something more legitimate like this assignment is due tomorrow and actually I am not requiring it for two days. What is not different is my humanness and my ability to make silly mistakes like this. What has changed is my students’ aggressiveness at catching my mistakes and pointing them out in an accusatory tone/manner. Friday, I saw a student walking into the classroom as we were lining up to go home. I thought she needed something so I turned to ask what she needed when she kindly picked up an absent student’s chair and put it on his desk for me. So I said, “Thank you _______!” Apparently, another student had put up a chair also but I didn’t see it so she said to the student I had spoken to, “Oh fine, she thanks you but not me.” We were getting ready to walk out the door to pick up and I just ignored her comment as if I hadn’t heard it. In hind sight, I think that maybe I could have said,”I didn’t see you. Thank you.” I don’t know. Just getting tired of being under a microscope and having all my shortcomings pointed out. Still, I appreciate your advice and I think for the most part I live up to your suggestions. Being reminded by you of a few of the things that I do right is bucket-filling. Thank you!!

I want to say thank you! I read the article, but it’s the posts from you wonderful teachers that I find so valuable. I went to college at 48. I’m now 51 and begin student teaching in January. I am both excited and terrified. I love learning from those in the classroom, especially about classroom management. Thank you again!

I began student teaching when I was 55. I’ve been teaching now for 10 years, and it’s the best job I’ve ever had. There are big challenges, but also lots of supports such as this blog and its readers. Best of luck to you!

I am a new teacher with no experience formally teaching, but lots of experience with the age group (middle school). Everyone knows middle school students are one of the hardest age groups to teach due to immaturity, impulsivity, fluctuating hormones, lots of social and emotional changes, while at the same time being as physically big as an adult in some cases. Add into that the COVID experience of the last two years, and we have what we are seeing now. The students I am teaching are some of the rudest and most mean-spirited I have ever encountered. As some others have said, when you try to go out of your way to do something extra fun for them, they shut it down before it even starts with a sour disposition, rude comments, complaints, and disruptive behavior. When you stop the activity after they behave that way, they don’t care that they did not get to do the “special” thing. I think it is sad. They can’t enjoy anything. They are so programmed (perhaps by social media, idk) to be negative and harassing at all times. I have taken note of the suggestions you gave here because I need help. I am an authoritative speaker with authoritative posture/classroom presence and good projective voice…but when I read through your comments I found I am apparently doing a lot wrong! I need to dress better, remain calm and never let ’em see me sweat no matter what they say or do, and follow through with consequences every time. I have not yet e-mailed parents about behavior and disruption and I think it is overdue that I start doing that. My students don’t listen and seem to make a game out of being as disruptive, rude, and uncooperative as possible. I find they don’t want to do any schoolwork at all, but resort to manipulations (with our without parental involvement) to get a decent grade “at the last minute”. Everything I read here has happened to me in my classroom, including a physical assault by a man-sized 7th grader during a field trip. It is hard not to get worn-down by this. I have understood you to say that they cannot change, so I must. They will react differently to a different “ME”. At least, I hope they do.

Here’s my take- high school students do not work, pay taxes, vote , or ever served in the military. They are not bloody adults. If teachers sustain this disrespect, simply suspend or in some cases, expel them. Schools are not mental health agencies. If your student is a train wreck emotionally, parents own this, not the public education systems. Administrators and site leaders need to not cater to this concept of free and public education if their children can’t simply demonstrate decent behavior ,

Wow- seems like the goal is total compliance over any compassion, curiosity about the behavior, or attempts to connect. Many of these students have experienced unimaginable trauma over the past 18 mos. Demanding eye contact from many kids who avoid it due to anxiety, spectrum, or a need to disengage for a moment does what? Teaches total compliance? Which serves them how? Fidgeting or side conversations are things adults also do at times and many have roots in sensory needs. Students who don’t “perform” often do so because of a lack of interest, engagement, connection or because they can’t (learning difference/tough home situation/don’t know how). Check out Beyond Behaviors by Mona Delahooke for more if you are interested in a bottom up approach that looks at the root causes of behaviors.

Yes! You’re right on here.

Beautiful sir.

I admit I did not read all of the responses above. Rarely do I comment in this manner. I am what is called a “dinosaur” in my school. Nonetheless, good stuff! This, of course, should be applicable to administration, boards of education and parents. Teachers are an integral key to student development but only one part. When students see outbursts from parents, retorts from board members and listless superintendents not leading the district, I am fighting an uphill battle in my classroom.

So I do all of these things in my music classes, but it still disrupts the flow of learning. When kids talk over me, I stop and pause, make eye contact, etc. While I’m paused, three other kids yell out. Now they’re yelling back and forth and have to settle more than just one kid. This takes time away from learning. I’m not supposed to send kids to the office so I can’t remove the offenders from my class. I can assign detention but most of them don’t care if they get it and it doesn’t deter their behavior. Phone calls home are practically useless. What consequences can I make for this bad behavior? I’m at a loss.

This post and these comments make me feel like I am not, or will I ever be, a good teacher. I don’t think I’m capable of behaving this way.

A good teacher tries to get to the why behind behaviors and values relationships and learning over compliance and control. Many of these kids have been trapped in horrible homes, isolated, and stuck on screens for over a year. Compassion and connection over seeking submission and control. Often we are the only positive adult in a child’s life.

I get this.

Thanks. Good reminders. On the topic of eye contact: I have a habit of maintaining eye contact where needed for positive interactions and using my hands to gesture at students I know are off task WITHOUT eye contact. For example tapping a desk to redirect or a snap and point while keeping my eyes on the topic.

You have described several attributes that very few people are capable of consistently maintaining. Especially in a traditional school setting. The confrontation and power struggle teachers experience on a daily basis is exhausting. I have only seen a few individuals in my entire career who can achieve this level of control with unwavering consistency. They are amazing teachers. There are not enough adults who have these skills to serve our youth. Moreover, these skills translate to leadership and success in the private sector where the money and upward mobility are much more accessible. It’s the system that needs to change. Teachers are exhausted, insisting that they need to do more now more than ever increases the feeling of inaptitude, lowers confidence, and makes the mountain seem higher. It’s not normal or natural for a person to handle daily confrontation and disrespect in a calm confident way and it shouldn’t be. Adults are leaving the profession because the inter-personal skills you have outlined are insurmountable. We talk about “finding the why” behind student behavior but we refuse to change the very system that has failed them and adults who teach them.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Where in the article does it address acknowledging the trauma of what students have been through? Or how systemic racism plays into our daily life at home and school? Or how some educators have not examined their beliefs and biases around “disrespect”? Where is the center on what students need from us as the adults and how to address what they are missing? This article is compliance focused, not student centered.

Kevin and Silvia, thanks for your responses. They are both good practical suggestions.

Wow!!! What did I just read 🤦‍♂️

Try this – Playfulness (relaxed body posture laugh it off as you don’t know what’s behind this. Make light of the “disrespect” even have fun with it

Acceptance – Accept their perception as this is their immediate believes. Go against this and it’s an argument. Acceptance doesn’t mean we agree with what’s happened

Curiosity – Suggest alternatives, through choice and collaborate, discuss better outcomes and make them curious. This is the 1st step for them to rationalise and regulate

Empathic – Paraphrase verbally let them know your listening. Paraphrase on their emotion letting them know you see them and care

This is all about connection and trust. Once the brain 🧠 connects and the adults change the child will follow

What consequences do you use? We are 10 weeks in to 2022, and frankly very little is working: * sister classroom with a disrespect paper * parent calls – which can go south (making them no fun to do) * sending the student home

What other things can be done? I am not talking a kid blurting out at the wrong time. Or saying something that he shouldn’t. Or tossing something across the room. These behaviors are easily handled in the classroom.

I am talking, refusing to do as directed, swearing loudly and aggressively, aggressive physical contact, loud interruptions that will not stop, lyingly accusing me of being wrong, stealing, destroying in class property, throwing food.

Now add 5 of those kids to a classroom. They feed on each other.

So you are always talking about your consequences, WHAT ARE THEY?

THANK YOU FOR SPELLING THIS OUT TO THE author of this site!!!! It is impossible to sustain this type of work environment, nor should it ever be considered!!! Our school systems are incredibly BROKEN when the chronic disrespectful behavior from students is tolerated and expected!!!! Teachers have no authority left!!

Disrespect from students, already bad before COVID, is now off the scale, and individual teachers (apart from the exceptional few) are essentially powerless to do more than endure what is increasingly unendurable.

Only a collective approach can have any impact against the societal, social-media driven culture of freedom, licence and disrespect which students bring with them into schools. Such a collective approach should of course be initiated and driven by school administration. But any such initiative, rare in any case, tends to end up devolving the burden of behaviour management back on to the individual teacher, with the result that they continue to feel isolated and demoralised.

A collective approach really is the only answer. For the traditional “teacher-as-king/queen-of-his/her-classroom” model is no longer fit for purpose. The challenge of student disruption, abuse and disrespect needs to be answered by a staff body which is united AS a staff body, and which is collectively responsible for delivering a whole school behaviour management strategy. It can no longer be solely or even primarily the remit of teachers as individuals, individuals already stretched to their emotional limit, where it will only lead to further frustration and distress.

It is natural for teachers to just keep quiet and struggle on, on the assumption that the traditional model is the only model. But it is not, and they should not. We deserve better, and so, frankly, do students.

Disrespect is continuing to be a major problem in the schools. Disrespect for teachers and peers is allowed to the point of violence, bullying and destruction of property. Students have to be tracked for a year or more sometimes before anything is done about terrible disruptive behavior, but other students see this and find out there are no consequences. If students misbehave at a young age, staff will wait a year or more to begin addressing the issue. If students misbehave enough, they are labeled with a disability and then given a pass for most of their bad behavior. Parents do not have to suffer any consequences for the behavior of their children. All of this falls on the teacher and the other students in the classroom trying to learn. The sad thing is that this system does not benefit the student with the bad behavior, and does not respect the rights of all of the other students to learn. It is a lose lose situation for all teachers and administration. Many staff may want to see things get better, but the county will not support such change. I understand there are laws in place to ensure equal education for all, but at many times the education of the disrespectful/disruptive student is not equal because they do not have the social skills to learn in the environment they are kept in but instead need to be in a setting, where they can be taught social and behavioral skills that will make them successful in life. Leaving them in the classroom to be coddled and allowed to continue bad behavior is detrimental to them and society. It’s really hard to make a big difference when our hands are tied and we cannot have high expectations for our students.

👏🏻👏🏻❤️❤️👏🏻👏🏻100%

It does take a lot. Many have given up. In fact, I often question the reason for doing the work, in spite of the complete disregard and contempt that I am shown. It takes a lot to keep doing this work. Children would rather watch tiktok because it’s easy and pallatable. I appreciate the tips, as I am always striving to improve.

I read the first line and thought – there it is – an excuse. The disrespect among students has nothing to do with COVID. It all started waaaay before then. This has been coming since the beginning of public education. Each generation of administrators has lower expectations of students than the previous. They’re a bit lazier than the previous – they don’t want to deal with student behaviors – it takes too much time. This is where we’ve ended up and it will continue until someone has the you know what to stand strong. I could go on and on but I’ll leave it at that.

Hi, My first time here. I am a veteran teacher from grades k-4 (currently 4th for many years). It’s just one of those years where 2 students have been able to get some of the best, sweetest students, to join in with disrespectful comments and and act without accountability. I actually am not sure how it got this far this year so I am here to reflect and get a fresh perspective. I am often recognized for having excellent classroom management and good relationships with students.

There were two of the students today who I’ve known for a long while and really like, and they became combative. It was so surprising, but all of what they were saying, how they were saying it and even the tone was EXACTLY like those 2 that I have that are the most challenging. It’s the first time in many years, I was very teary (after they went to lunch).

I read the part about not talking with them about it or lecturing actually surprised me. This is usually what I would do, but privately. Is even privately not recommended?

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Responding to Disruptive Class Situations

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On occasion, erratic, disruptive, and hostile situations may arise in our classes. It can be extremely challenging to know when to keep track of a pattern of behaviors and when to respond accordingly, especially if you feel that your own personal safety is threatened.

On this page, we will offer you some steps that you can take to establish clear boundaries with your students from the very start of the quarter. Then, we will offer a list of strategies you can take to discuss your concerns with a student who may be causing disruptive situations in class. Finally, we will list some resources you can turn to if you feel that the situation needs to be escalated beyond one-on-one conversations with you and your student.

How Can I Prevent Disruptive and Hostile Class Situations from Occurring?

There are several small steps you can take to try and prevent disruptive student situations from occurring:

• Include very clear syllabus guidelines about classroom conduct.  We require our instructors to include the  Stanford Fundamental Standard  in their syllabus, and this language could be brought into other parts of your syllabus too, especially around conduct about class discussions.
• Articulate clear expectations for grading early on.  Grades can be an especially fraught point of conflict for students. Establish early on how you are going to grade students and what the consequences are for late and incomplete work. That way, students do not feel blindsided or severely punished later in the course.
• Show that you are empathetic to student needs.  On the first day of class, articulate your level of investment in students' learning and explain that you understand their challenges. While students may still push back against this articulation of empathy, it can go a long way to establish your relationship with their personal lives and feelings.
• Set boundaries on when and where you will communicate with students.  Restricting the times and places where you will meet with students will establish your personal boundaries early on and communicate to your students that you will not engage with them on issues about the class outside of normal business hours and in visible, public spaces.

What Should I Do If I Need to Talk to a Student Causing a Disruptive Situation?

Laura Bennett, a student conduct counselor at Harper College, offers  several steps for instructors  to take if they need to confront a student who is causing a disruptive or hostile situation. These steps are modified based on her recommendations (see link for an article from  Faculty Focus  that explores these steps in greater depth):

• Take careful note of when and where the situation occurred and who else was present.  You will not show these notes to your student, but you will want to have evidence in writing of what happened so that you can recall the situation accurately in the future.
• Arrange for a time to talk to your student in a comfortable space for both you and the student.  Make sure you schedule a block of time where you can listen to the student and discuss your concerns with them. You may choose to have the student meet you in your office, but at a time when your colleagues are around in case you feel unsafe.
• Be direct, specific, and nonjudgmental in expressing your concerns.  Use language that makes clear that you're not blaming the student for their behavior. For example, instead of saying, "You really caused a lot of uproar in class last week," state instead, "I noticed that the tone of the class really changed after "X" situation occurred, and I'm concerned about how that tone impacts the whole class environment."
• Give the student space to share their perspective.  At this point in the conversation, make sure you give the student space to share their perspective on the situation. Listening to them will allow them to voice their version of the story and will communicate to them that you still care about their success in the class.
• Set parameters for certain behaviors.  After the student has shared their story, remind the student of the class policies and expectations. 
• Share consequences for noncompliance with class policies and expectations.  Let the student know what will happen if they continue to act disruptively in class. They should know what to expect if they choose to disrupt class experiences in the future.
• Ask your student to summarize your conversation.  Asking the student to put the conversation back in their own words allows them to see that you care about their understanding of the situation; you don't want to police the student, but you want to make suer that they understand the community standards and classroom conduct in PWR.
• Document the meeting and what was discussed.  Keep clear track of your conversation and write a note on what conclusions you and your student came to by the end of the conversation.
• Follow up with the student.  Make sure that you e-mail the student or talk to the student after class to establish that you both are on the same page.
• Let the PWR Associate Director know about your student.  The PWR Associate Director can help you determine whether appropriate contacts should be made with Advising or Residential Education. Please refer to  the FERPA guidelines on student privacy  for learning more about communicating your concerns to admin.

What Can I Do If I Feel That the Response to the Situation Needs to be Escalated?

First, speak to the PWR Associate Director and let them know if you think they should notify the student's Residence Dean or the appropriate staff member in Undergraduate Advising.

We can (and will) remove students from class for persistent misbehavior.  To do so, we will need good concrete documentation, so keep careful records.

Are There Other Resources I Can Check Out to Learn More About Managing Disruptive Class Situations?

The University of Louisville's Dean of Students office offers a comprehensive  Response Guide for Difficult Student Situations.  This guide offers a series of steps that instructors can take for a variety of difficult student situations (e.g. aggressive student demand/request, angry or disturbing writing, verbally aggressive behavior, physical threats, etc.)

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Teaching Guide: RESPECT

• For grades 7-12

This material is from the teaching guide for the video  “ Respect “ in the 10-part DVD series In Search of Character

Are You a Respectful Person? (Take this self-evaluation and decide for yourself.)

(If you wish to copy or use any material from this website, please click here for Terms of Use.)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

If you are using the video, ask question 1 before viewing.

1. Suppose you were driving in a traffic jam and you suddenly realized you have to cut across two lanes of bumper-to-bumper traffic to turn right at the next corner. What’s the first thing you would do? Why?

2. What would you have done if someone tried to cut in front of you in traffic without asking your permission? Why? Has seeing this video changed your mind?

3. In the video Dr. Mike received a FAX from a teenager who is tired of all the put-downs at her school. Do you have the same problems at your school? What do you think can be done about it?

4. How do you feel when someone judges you without knowing you or giving you a chance? How do you feel when someone you disagree with calls you a name? How do you feel when someone bumps into you in the hall and doesn’t apologize?

5. Agree or disagree: Courtesy and politeness are a lot of nonsense.

6. In the video one teen said that if someone shows you respect, you should show respect in return. Do you agree? How do you feel if you treat someone with respect and that person responds with rudeness? If someone insults you, should you insult that person in return?

7. One girl in the video makes the point that you don’t have to respect everyone, you simply have to treat people with respect. What’s the difference? Do you agree with her point of view? Explain.

8. Agree or disagree: When people stay out of a bully’s way, they are showing respect.

9. Mike’s advice to Kim is to establish some rules and make them stick. What are your rules for respectful behavior?

10. How did the story of Brian Harris and his pen-pal service make you feel? What did you learn from it?

11. Do you think Brian’s pen-pal service is making our world a better place to live in? In what way?

12. What can you do to make this a more respectful world?

13. Does respect play a role in harmonious race relations? Explain.

14. Do you think that people in our society are respectful enough of each other? Why?

15. Do you consider yourself to be a respectful person? Why, or why not? In what ways do you show respect to others?

16. How is respect related to fairness? To caring? To the Golden Rule? To violence?

17. What does respect have to do with the quality of your character?

18. What are the benefits of people treating each other with respect?

19. Did the video present any ideas you disagree with?

WRITING ASSIGNMENTS

1. How does government “of, by, and for the people” depend on respect? Write an essay connecting the concepts of democracy and respect. How is listening to different points of view a sign of respect and a cornerstone of democracy? What is it about the concept of democracy that relies upon mutual respect among people? How is the very concept of democracy related to respect for the individual?

2. Watch a sitcom on television, and then write about how the actions of the characters demonstrated either respectful or disrespectful behavior.

3. Bullies are often trying to make people “respect” them. Is this really respect, or is it fear? What is the difference? How is bullying and violent behavior an act of disrespect?

4. Write about a time when you were disrespectful to someone. Why did it happen? Was it the right thing to do? What were the consequences? How did it make the other person feel? What did you learn from the experience?

5. Describe three things you could do to be a more respectful person. How would that affect your relationships with others? How does it benefit you to be a respectful person?

6. In the video one teen talks about a ripple effect: If one person treats another with respect, the respect begins to spread out from there. Write an editorial for your school newspaper encouraging students to start the “respect ripple effect.” Describe what it could accomplish in your school setting.

Other teaching guides in this series:

STUDENT ACTIVITIES

1. Conduct a survey in your school or community, asking questions like these. Do you think people are respectful enough? What are some disrespectful acts that really annoy you? What are some respectful acts that you especially appreciate? Compile the results into a report.

2. Brainstorm ways to make your school environment more respectful. Create a list of recommendations and place them in your school newspaper or on a poster.

3. Divide the class into small groups. Have each group develop a list of do’s and don’ts for being a respectful person. Have them make oral reports to the class addressing the following questions: What happens when people live in accordance with these guidelines. What happens when they don’t. In what ways does respectful and disrespectful behavior affect our community and society?

4. Bring in articles from newspapers and magazines describing situations in which respect or disrespect are issues. Talk about who is acting respectfully, and who is acting disrespectfully in these situations. Using the articles as evidence, tell the class about the consequences of disrespectful and respectful behaviors.

5. Role play some typical situations in which disrespectful behavior leads to hostility and maybe even violence. Then, change one of the disrespectful actions into one of respect and see how the outcome changes.

This program shows how treating people with respect helps us get along with each other, avoid and resolve conflicts, and create a positive social climate. Learn more . . .

Click play for a sampling of “In Search of Character”

This award winning video series spotlights ten core virtues that help teens develop into caring, respectful, responsible people who make choices based on what’s right, rather than what they can get away with. Learn more . . .

For more information about individual videos in this series, click on the title below.

If your school or organization does not have these videos, you can purchase them from Live Wire Media , or request them from your local library.

Subscribe to our almost Monthly Newsletter

Get breaking news and developments in character education and helpful tips and ideas that you can use with your own character education program. View this month’s newsletter.

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Need Behaviour Assignments for Consequences

Discussion in ' Behavior Management ' started by dannyteach , Dec 6, 2010 .

dannyteach New Member

Dec 6, 2010

I'm looking for some help! I am in my 7th year of teaching and have a little guy in my grade 7 class this year. I taught him last year and was blessed with his sweet return to my class list this year. He is the most disruptive, disrespectful, high energy child I have yet to come across. am usually the teacher who invites challenges like this into my class...however this littleguy has got me, my principal, the admin beat! I am looking for support and help in ways to deal with him when he gets into his distructive states. I would like to come up with assignments for him to do that address his poor behaviour choices in class / on the playground. For example, if he swears at a teacher or pretends to shoot his classmates consistantly, having him write a journal entry from his teacher's perspective or classmates on what they may be feeling. Having him do a behavioural report when sent out of the classroom to reflect on his behaviours. I would like to come up with 10 or so behavior related assignments for him to do in the office when he is not ready to be in class. These can be kept with the principal and he must complete one before being permitted to return to class. Any ideas for assignments? reports? projects? readings? etc. It would be very much appreciated! I need to somehow survive this child this year and it is only December!!! Thanks! Danielle  

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StellatheSub Rookie

Dec 8, 2010

Age 7 or grade 7?  

Aliceacc Multitudinous

Hi Danielle, and welcome! I'm guessing 7th grade. And I've got to be honest and admit that I'm in a bit over my head; my typical "not bad enough for detention" assignment is to multiply your phone number by your zip code. The next time you stay after, you have to check it by long division. I tend not to have too many repeat offenders. How about an essay on the meaning of "respect", starting with a dictionary definition? Likewise "Civility" and "Cooperation"???  

Cerek Aficionado

The writing assignments sound like a good idea, because it will force him to actually THINK about what he is doing and how it affects other people. Having him describe his actions from the other person's POV might make him think about the impact his actions are having. I also like Alice's idea of writing a short paper on respect, civility, cooperation, etc by beginning with the dictionary definition. Other ideas for writing assignments could be: 1) Describe a typical school day from the time you wake up till you go to bed that night. Write about the things that happen on a normal day for you. (This might provide some insight from HIS POV about why he is so out of control. What is triggering all of that anger and disruption?) 2) List the name of 10 classmates and write one good quality or positive comment about each one. How does the person display this quality? What is unique about him/her? What affect (if any) does this quality or attribute have on other classmates? (Perhaps if he lists positive qualities of others and how it affects the classroom environment, he will begin to think about how some of those qualities or behaviors would work for him. You could also do this assignment several times, making him list 10 different classmates each time until he has eventually written one positive comment about each of them). 3) What do you want to do when you are grown and out of school? What kind of job do you think you would like to have? (hopefully, this will make him think about future goals and help him start focusing on what he needs to do to reach them). 4) If you had 1 day to do whatever you wanted, what would you do? (if he writes something like "play video games all day" or "sit around the house", then future assignments can focus more on describing a favorite hobby or activity OTHER than video games. Try to make him think of something that requires some energy and thought and describe what he enjoys most about that activity) 5) Imagine YOU are a middle school teacher. Describe what you think a normal day of school would be like for you then. What subject would you teach? What kind of lessons would you do? How would you make the lessons interesting for all the students? How much time do you think it would take to grade all the papers from every class you have? Those are some ideas off the top of my head. I'm not sure how much success you will actually have getting him to do any of these, but once he is removed from the situation that is upsetting him and has some time to calm down, maybe he will begin to reflect on these ideas and how he can use them to change his behavior. If he DOES complete the assignments, he will have been forced to think about his actions (and their impact) a little more deeply and will also provide insight to you about what is triggering these reactions and things he wishes were different about his environment.  

teacher12345 Cohort

Some other assignment ideas: 1. Writing a letter of apology to the teacher stating what he did, why it was not acceptable, how his actions impacted others, others point of view and what others think of him when he acts this way, how it makes his teacher feel when he acts this way, and what he could do next time instead. 2. Comparing and Contrasting his behavior with that of other students in his grade or class: IE: Other 7th graders treat their teachers with respect and use respectful words when talking with them, and I sweared at my teacher and then stating what other people may think of him if he keeps doing this behavior, ie: dissruptive, obnoxious, rude, don't want to be around him, direspectful, disobedient, defient, weird, goofs off alot, can't listen and follow directions, annoying to be around etc. 3. Write the following words and their defenitions from the dictionary 3 times each and use them in a sentence; cooperative/cooperate/cooperating, respectful, responsible, polite, curtious, rude, defient, and obnoxious. 4. Make a list of why his behavior was not appropriate: EX: it was disruptive, rude, not respecting teacher or peers trying to learn/teach, spoke out of turn, bad language, others were mad, etc. 5. Cause and Effect note cards: given a situation or behavior he will write down the effect 6. he will write a poem about how his behavior effected others/other people's point of view, teacher's point of view 7. He will write a diary entry as if he was the teacher and had a disrespectful, rude, uncooperative student in his classroom, stating why it was annoying, what the student did, why it made it hard for him to teach etc. 8. Write a diary entry as if he was a classmate of a student who acted like he did, disrespectful, rude, etc.  

paperheart Groupie

Dec 11, 2010

Name 50 careers that require a college education. Name 50 reasons that explain why you are bright, beautiful and just plain awesome. Imagine you are a superhero. Name 50 super powers you would like to have. Now describe 10 qualities you do have that can lead to good.  

Dec 12, 2010

Some of these sound downright fun! Detention in my school involves copying, word for word, a page of typed print. The last time I had detention duty, it concerned Brown vs the Board of Education. It used to be copying a page from the dictionay. Saturday detention is copying the Constitution. As you decide on the assignments, keep in mind: the point is that it's NOT fun. It's something to be avoided.  

Pisces_Fish Fanatic

Aliceacc said: ↑ Some of these sound downright fun! Detention in my school involves copying, word for word, a page of typed print. The last time I had detention duty, it concerned Brown vs the Board of Education. It used to be copying a page from the dictionay. Saturday detention is copying the Constitution. As you decide on the assignments, keep in mind: the point is that it's NOT fun. It's something to be avoided. Click to expand...

swansong1 Virtuoso

Here's my opinion as an ESE teacher: The children that Alice gives detention to are normal children with normal behaviors that have transgressed a little. Therefore, her punishment is absolutely acceptable. This 7th grader exhibits unusual and abnormal behavior ( as in a child with behavioral disabilities). He needs to have behavioral modification strategies to help him learn more acceptable behaviors in school. So, the writing assignments you all have suggested would act as behavioral modification strategies and would be be a good start for him to begin learning ways to change his behavior. I'm guessing he will not find these writing assignments easy. As a matter of fact, the fact that he will have to sit quietly and give some thought to his actions and then compose a response will give him difficulty because he has shown that those types of activities are not something he can handle easily..  

Excellent point swan!  

Teacherella Habitué

Jan 10, 2011

Whatever consequence you decide on, I would make sure that it won't make him hate writing. It would be a shame for him to associate writing as a punishment. I like the idea of him listing 50 positive traits about himself and maybe have him choose one to write about. I'm a firm believer in giving students logical consequences so I think it should directly relate to whatever reason he was send down to the office.  

MamaFisch New Member

Mar 7, 2011

I have several specially selected sections from our student code of conduct. Students have to copy it. If it is a short selection, I have them copy it several times and then I send home the page, with a note from me, to be signed by their parent. On our campus, three minor offenses that are documented and addressed result in a referral, so this also provides documentation and proof of parent notification. I also have students who make messes stay to clean up. Writing on desks and walls means erasing marks in the hallway. Students who run in the hall have to do 20 walking laps from one end of the hallway to the other, etc.  

sidhewing Rookie

Mar 11, 2011

Personal Responsibility Grade I believe in the "personal responsibility grade." I would suggest to give this to the whole class. It's a form that grades students on their behavior and is generally 15-20% of their overall grade. Each week you grades students on tardiness, absences, participation and respectful behavior. Allow yourself 2-3 sentences if they did something really disrespectful like curse, hurt a student etc. AND then allow them a space to "agree" or "disagree" with your grade and a space that allows them to answer: What could I do in the future to improve my grade? I've found that it is surprisingly effective and students sometimes are chillingly honest. If you don't want to do that have you considered a Behavior plan? Where you sit down with the students and together your brain storm was is disruptive/ productive and what the consequences/ rewards are? Or what about a progress chart where it's just between you and the student? So, that the students won't be embarrassed in front of his friends? Good luck!!  

m1trLG2 Companion

Apr 17, 2011

How are mom and dad? Here are some things we did in treatment as well as somethings I have used in the classroom. 1) Have him write a letter home to his parent that gets signed about his behavior. Do this in a guided writing style. "Dear Mom and Dad I was very disrespectful today. I made the choice to _______." Get it signed and returned (more effective if mom and dad are involved though). 2) Do "SODAS" with him as part of his journaling. S- Situation O- Options D- Disadvantages A- Advantages S- Solution Here is what it would look like: S- I want to color instead of do the work I'm supposed to do. O- Do my work or chose to color. D- If I chose to color my teacher will get upset, send a letter home, mom and dad will get upset, I will spend the rest of my day arguing. If I chose to do my work I don't get to do what I want and that upsets me. A- If I chose to do my work, perhaps I will finish early and be allowed to color and have some free time. My parents won't be upset, and my teacher won't get upset. If I chose to color, I get to do what I want. S- I think I will do my work and then color later and that way I don't have to deal with the upset people. This can be something he is allowed to do if he can recognize himself "losing control" it's a "stop and think" method. However it can also be used afterwards and then the solution would be the one he picked but why it didn't work out would be made clear in disadvantages. 3) This isn't a "punishment" but can be effective for helping to change behavior. A lot of behavior kids get overwhelmed very quickly and again need to "stop and think". Have him "take a break". This is good for ALL kids but mostly get utilized by behavioral kids. If he is being crazy and hyper and defiant tell him, "I think you need to take a break, please go have a seat facing the wall in the break chair." Give him 5 minutes and then ask him to join you OR tell him, "when you think you can make better choices let me know and you can join us" but if it's over five minutes have him make up the time during recess or with an assignment or something. This way he doesn't just go back to a corner and play. Sometimes these kids just get stuck in a loop and honestly don't know how to get out. 4) Have him do "self awareness" worksheets. Now, prior to teaching I was a behavioral therapist and I am a supporter of the cognitive behavioral school of thought. So, feel free to disagree I just wanted to say this is from that standpoint. A lot of behavioral kids are unable to put themselves in another person's shoes. This kid may be able to write a great response of how it would "feel" to be a teacher dealing with a kid like him but he doesn't "feel" that. He has observed your behaviors and listened and knows what to say. Giving assignments that require introspection will be more effective at changing his behaviors. Here are a few links. http://www.box.net/shared/fp9tziylhr http://www.stressgroup.com/ABCworksheet.html http://practicegroundprojects.wetpaint.com/page/Handouts,+Protocols+&+Client+Learning+Activities These are all similar to the SODAS approach and designed to have the child look inside to assess behaviors and slow down... again Stop and Think. If you google "Behavioral Therapy Worksheets" you will find lots of things he can work on. Also, ask the school guidance counselor if she/he has anything like these worksheets that he could work on. Lots of times the behavior is impulsive and there is no reason the child did it. So, the solution is learning to recognize impulsive behavior and then be able to stop and take charge of it. Hope some of this helps!  

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• / Response Guide for Difficult Student Situations

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The Student Care Team developed this guide to inform response to difficult situations that may occur in and outside of the classroom. Keep in mind that there will be variables which direct faculty and staff to an appropriate response. This is not an all-encompassing list, nor are you expected to deal with these situations alone. Utilize the campus resources recommended throughout the document.

Faculty and staff are often the first point of contact for many student issues. Departments are encouraged to develop standards on ways to handle these situations. Use this guide as a springboard to begin communication about difficult student situations.

The Student Care Team recommends that faculty review the issues in this document and include a statement about appropriate classroom behavior in your syllabus in order to proactively address these situations. If there is no threat, often the best approach is to deal with these instances in a supportive and structured manner.

Familiarize yourself with campus resources and policies:

• Code of Student Conduct to determine what constitutes a violation of behavioral standards.
• Students in Distress Folder (PDF for printing) for a flow chart and contact information for University resources. An HTML only version of the information on the Distress Folder is available .

When dealing with a difficult student situation:

• Don’t personalize the situation: take a breath and look at the situation as objectively as possible.
• Identify the specific behavior of concern.
• Avoid creating an adversarial relationship where there is no room for movement.
• Look for the educational opportunity. An educational conversation from a University official can have a lasting impact on a student. Look for the opportunity to dialogue about the situation.
• Maintain professional communication.
• Address inappropriate, disruptive, or concerning behavior from the beginning. If you have a concern, do not wait to see if it happens again.
• "I am happy to discuss this/speak with you about this matter, however (see "a" and "b," below)."
• "I hear that you are frustrated, however: (see "a" and "b," below)."
• "I recognize how frustrated you are and I want to work with you. We need to take a step back for a minute so we can look at this situation together."
• "I do not/will not speak with another adult who is yelling (cursing, etc); and/or
• as an educator, I do not/will not speak to someone who uses vulgar/crass/inappropriate/disrespectful language.”
• Maintain records of interactions with difficult students.

Self-Harm / Suicide Ideation Situations

Threatening situations, difficult behavior situations, difficult communication situations, well-being concerning situations, policy involved situations.

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You Got a Bad Sub Report. Now What?

Advice from teachers who’ve been there.

The only thing worse than missing school is coming back to a bad sub report. How do you respond, both with your class and to earn back the sub’s trust? Members of our WeAreTeachers HELPLINE group on Facebook weigh in.

1. Write letters of apology.

“My fourth graders were terrible with the latest sub, so when I got back, we had a big talk about respecting our room and class. I taught them how to write an apology letter that says I’m sorry, I was wrong for doing this, this is how I’ll behave next time, and please forgive me. I made them write letters to the substitute. When I had to go back out a few days later, they were great.” — Melana H.

“I have my students write letters of apology to the sub, and they put ‘sub apology letters are due’ in their planners so parents could ask them about it.” — McCann V.

2. Don’t wait for an absence to lay out your expectations.

“I address my sub expectations often, whether I’m planning on being out or not. Anytime a class near mine has a sub, I remind my students my expectations for when and if I am ever away unexpectedly. I also have a note to my class in my emergency sub plans to be shared with the class, so that they can ‘hear’ my voice even though I’m not there. It may sound like overkill, but it seems to work.” — Sandy W.

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3. But don’t feel like you had to give a disclaimer in order to give a consequence.

Didn’t think to state explicit expectations before you were out? You can still keep your students accountable to their behavior. “I teach sixth grade. It’s good if you set your expectations before you go out, but respect should be automatic, and if they respect you, they should respect the sub. So if a name is left when I’m gone, notice or no notice, that student gets a detention. If the vice principal had to come down, I’d make the whole class stay after school one day to show you mean business.” — S.K.O.

4. Get the parents involved.

“I would write a letter to their parents about their behavior and ask for their support, and I’d require a parent signature on the letter.” — Dawn M.

But be aware that you may get a little push back. Another WeAreTeachers reader wrote: “I did this and had parents—whose children had been listed more than once on the sub list for bad behavior—called me screaming because how dare I accuse their child of this behavior. Not their angel!” Our advice? Involve parents, but be sure to word the letter in the most constructive and positive way to avoid a misunderstanding.

5. Suss out the main perpetrators with student statements.

Chances are, even if the class as a whole was terrible, some players were worse than others, and maybe a few weren’t bad at all. “I make each of them write ‘statements’ detailing what happened from their perspective. The main instigators always emerge, and the appropriate punishment can be given.” — Kristine K.

6. Names matter!

“I have decided to never use the term ‘sub.’ Several years ago, I found out that most students think that a ‘sub’ is not teacher. I refer to them as a ‘guest teacher.’ I explain to my class that the guest teacher has gone to college just as I have done, and they deserve the same respect.” — Belinda M.

7. Focus on the positive.

Instead of telling students how not to act, focus on positive things they can do to ensure a good experience. “The next time a colleague has a sub, you should coach those students on being helpful and make them do something nice for the colleague’s sub as you watch, and use it as a teachable moment.” — Kelly M.

“Read Miss Nelson Is Missing and talk about it. When I get a really good sub report, I will bring in donuts or schedule an extra fun snack or activity. So far this year the positive rewards have been working, thank goodness!” — Shellie S.

We’d love to hear how you’ve handled a bad sub report. Come and share in our WeAreTeachers HELPLINE group on Facebook.

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10 Effective Student Apology Letter Templates for Different Situations

As students, we are taught to take responsibility for our actions and own up to our mistakes. One way to do so is by writing an apology letter. Whether it’s for an academic or personal situation, a well-written apology letter can go a long way in righting a wrong and rebuilding trust. That’s why we’ve provided a student apology letter template that you can use as a guide. With our template, you’ll be able to find examples and easily edit them to fit your specific circumstance. So, if you find yourself needing to apologize, take a look at our student apology letter template and let’s get writing.

The Best Structure for a Student Apology Letter Template

If you’re a student who has made a mistake, caused harm, or offended someone, you may need to write an apology letter. A well-crafted apology letter can go a long way in repairing damaged relationships and showing your maturity and sincerity. In this article, we will discuss the best structure for a student apology letter template.

1. Introduction: Begin your apology letter by addressing the person you are writing to. Use their name and any appropriate formalities (e.g., Mr./Mrs./Ms.). Start with a sincere and direct apology, without making excuses or minimizing your mistake. Express regret for your actions and acknowledge the damage that you caused.

2. Explanation: In this section, provide more details about what happened and why you made the mistake. Be clear and concise, but avoid blaming others or making excuses. Take responsibility for your actions and show that you understand the impact of your behavior.

3. Reflection: This is where you reflect on your mistake and its consequences. Show that you are committed to learning from your mistake and growing as a person. Explain how you plan to avoid similar mistakes in the future and what steps you are taking to make things right.

4. Apology: End the letter with a genuine apology and a request for forgiveness. Be explicit in your apology and make sure that the person knows that you are regretful for your actions. Ask for their forgiveness and understanding, but be aware that forgiveness may not be immediate or forthcoming.

5. Closing: End your letter with a polite closing, such as “sincerely,” and your name. Encourage the person to reach out to you if they have any questions or concerns. Finish by thanking them for their time and attention.

In conclusion, a student apology letter can be a powerful tool to repair damaged relationships and show your maturity and sincerity. Follow the above structure to create a well-crafted apology letter that shows you are committed to making things right and learning from your mistakes.

Student Apology Letter Template

Apology letter for late submission of assignment.

Dear Professor,

I am writing this letter to apologize for submitting my assignment late. I understand that it must have caused you inconvenience, and I am truly sorry for that.

The reason for the delay was that I had some personal issues that required my attention. I have since resolved those issues and have completed the assignment. Nonetheless, I understand that being late is not acceptable, and I assure you that it will not happen again.

Once again, I apologize for any problems this may have caused.

Sincerely, [Your Name]

Apology Letter for Missing Class

Please accept my apologies for missing your class. I understand the importance of attending all lectures and I regret not being present on that day.

The reason for my absence was an unexpected family emergency, which required my immediate attention. I could not inform you of this beforehand, and I am sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.

I assure you that I have obtained the missed notes from my classmates and that I will catch up on the material covered in the class.

Thank you for your understanding.

Best regards, [Your Name]

Apology Letter for Plagiarism

I am writing this letter to express my deepest regrets about plagirizing my recent essay. I understand that this is an unacceptable practice, and I am sorry for not upholding academic integrity.

The reason for my mistake was my inability to strike a balance between my studies and personal life. I know that my behavior was wrong and that it has serious consequences. I assure you that I will be more attentive in the future and that such an incident will never happen again.

Once again, I apologize for my actions, and I hope that you will forgive me for my mistake.

Apology Letter for Disrespectful Behavior

Dear Teacher,

I am writing to apologize for my disrespectful behavior during class. I understand my actions were inappropriate, disruptive, and likely caused inconvenience to my classmates and you. I am sorry about that and I hope you will accept my apology.

The reason for my misbehavior is personal and not an excuse for my actions. I should have been able to control my emotions and act appropriately. I assure you that it will not happen again and that I will take the necessary measures to ensure that I stay attentive, focused, and respectful during class.

Apology Letter for Rude Behavior

I am writing to express regret for my rude behavior during the class yesterday. I recognize that my conduct was disruptive to the lecture and to the students who were attending it with me. I am truly sorry about that, and I aim to take corrective action.

The reason for my behavior was my inability to handle work stress, which caused me to behave carelessly. Nonetheless, my inability to deal with pressure doesn’t justify the way I behaved, I accept full responsibility for my actions, and I assure you that it won’t happen again.

Apology Letter for Missing Exam

I apologize for not showing up for the exam despite going through every necessary preparation. I understand the importance of exams in evaluating my skills and knowledge, and I regret what I did.

The reason for my absence was due to an unfortunate event that took place at home, which required my urgent response. Although it was beyond my control, I should have informed you earlier about the situation and that I wouldn’t be able to make it to the exam. I have taken full responsibility for my mistake, and I hope you forgive me for it.

Thank you for understanding and supporting me during this time.

Apology Letter for Misbehavior During School Event

Dear Administration,

I want to apologize for my misbehavior during the school event. I know that what I did was ill-natured and uncalled for. I take full responsibility for my actions and assure you that it won’t happen again.

I deeply regret indulging in activities against the school’s code of conduct, which caused disturbance to the event’s attendees. The reason behind my wrongful act was due to being carried away by the ambiance, which doesn’t justify my misconduct. I apologize to those who were affected by my behavior, I realize I messed up, and I am sorry.

Thank you for your understanding,

Tips for Writing a Student Apology Letter

Writing an apology letter can be tough, especially if you’re a student. However, it’s crucial to take responsibility for your actions and apologize for any harm or inconvenience caused. Here are some tips to help you write an effective student apology letter:

1. Begin with a sincere apology. Start your letter by expressing your sincere regret for what you’ve done. This sets the tone for the rest of the letter and shows that you’re taking responsibility for your actions.

2. Be specific about what you’re apologizing for. It’s important to be specific about what you’re apologizing for so that the recipient knows that you understand the gravity of the situation. Don’t make excuses or try to shift the blame onto someone else.

3. Explain why you did what you did. While it’s important not to make excuses, it can be helpful to explain why you acted the way you did. This can help the recipient understand your perspective and may help prevent similar situations in the future.

4. Offer to make it right. If possible, offer to make amends for what you’ve done. This could be anything from offering to replace something you’ve damaged to volunteering to help out in some way.

5. End on a positive note. End your letter on a positive note by expressing your hope that the recipient will forgive you and that you can move forward together. Thank them for taking the time to read your letter.

By following these tips, you’ll be well on your way to writing an effective student apology letter that shows you’re taking responsibility for your actions and are committed to making things right.

Frequently asked questions about student apology letter template What is a student apology letter template?

A student apology letter template is a pre-made document that provides a framework for students to apologize for their actions or behavior. It includes a structure for the letter and helpful tips for making a sincere and effective apology.

When should a student use an apology letter template?

A student should use an apology letter template when they want to apologize for something they have done wrong. This could include anything from being disrespectful to a teacher, missing a deadline for an assignment, or getting into trouble with the school administration.

What should be included in a student apology letter?

A student apology letter should include a sincere apology, an explanation for what they did wrong, an acknowledgement of how their actions affected others, a promise to do better in the future, and any additional steps they plan to take to make things right.

Can a student personalize the apology letter template?

Yes, a student can personalize the apology letter template by adding specific details about their situation and tailoring the language to fit their unique circumstances. This will help to make the apology more genuine and effective.

What are the benefits of using a student apology letter template?

Using a student apology letter template can help a student to organize their thoughts and express themselves in a clear and concise manner. It can also help to ensure that the apology is sensitive, respectful, and appropriate for the situation.

Can a teacher use a student apology letter template?

Yes, a teacher can use a student apology letter template to help guide their students in writing appropriate apology letters. By providing students with a framework and helpful tips, teachers can encourage students to take responsibility for their actions and make meaningful amends.

Where can I find a student apology letter template?

A student apology letter template can be found on various online resources such as template websites, educational forums, and school websites. You can also ask your teacher or school counselor for a copy of the template they use.

Say You’re Sorry with Our Student Apology Letter Template

Thanks for taking the time to check out our student apology letter template! We hope you found it helpful and that it makes your next apology a little bit easier. Don’t forget to bookmark our site and come back later for more useful tips and templates. And remember, mistakes happen – what’s important is that we take responsibility for them and use every opportunity to learn and grow. Thanks again for reading, and see you next time!

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