hugh nyu college essay

The Ultimate College Application Essay

Fact Check: College essay won an award, but it wasn't real

An email filling inboxes and circulating around social media touts the funniest, most outrageous "college application essay" ever written.

The facts: It's real. But it wasn't really used to apply for college. It did lead to a writing career.

David Emery, the urban legends researcher for the information website About.com, says that this piece has been around since 1990.

The essay is an answer to a college application question asking for any significant experiences or accomplishments that have helped to define you as a person:

"I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks ... I write award-winning operas ... Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. ... I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.

"Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. ...

You get the idea. The essay ends:

"I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college."

The email states that the author was accepted and is attending NYU.

The essay was written in 1990 by high school student Hugh Gallagher.

In an video interview with The Wall Street Journal, Gallagjer said he thought it was ridiculous that a college application would ask for an essay about the accomplishments of a 17-year-old, so he decided to have fun with it.

He entered the essay in the humor category of the Scholastic Writing Awards and won first prize, Emery found. The text was then published in Literary Cavalcade, a magazine of contemporary student writing, and reprinted in Harper's and The Guardian before taking off as one of the most forwarded viral emails of the 1990s.

Though it was not Gallagher's actual college application essay, he did submit it as a sample of his writing to various colleges. He was accepted under scholarship to New York University, from where he graduated in 1994, according to Emery's research.

Gallagher told the Wall Street Journal that the essay has appeared many places, including dating site profiles.

Gallagher is now a writer in New York; Pocket Books published his first novel, "Teeth," in March 1998.

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This delightful college application essay became a chain letter and a meme, and it took me some time the other year to find the original. It was written by Hugh Gallagher in 1989, who sent it to at least one college when he applied in ’89, and it won a 1990 Scholastic writing contest. (You may also know the author as Antwerpian pop sensation VON VON VON and the author of Teeth . More from him on his website .)

I repost it here for posterity and formatting, as an additional copy of the OG platinum version hosted by Prof. Susan Stepney. It has also been published in Harper’s & The Guardian in 1994 & 5, and on Alec Saunders’s blog , where commenters include the niece of one of the author’s NYU profs, and note heavy reuse by Kevin Gilbert.

Links to variations are welcome. Common bits people change include “slurs for Cuban refugees”, “I cook Thirty Minute Brownies”, “scouted by the Mets”, “covert operations for the CIA”, and the last sentence.

2018 update : corrected to the ur-version thanks to Hugh’s comment and Susan’s archive!

3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON? I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.

[…] I am a dynamic figure […]

It pleases me most to know that the author, Hugh Gallagher, did actually send this to colleges.

I see that you are not displaying the original text. Yours looks like it has been added to and modified by someone without regard for the flow and humour of the original. Changes like MI5->CIA, being scouted by the METS, translating racial slurs, and cooking 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes, make it a lesser piece.

Anyway, here is the original:

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran of love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my back garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby d|ck, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for MI5. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on holiday, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

drovoum: Gallagher was American, so I don’t know why he would have said MI5. The modified version you first read seems to have been written by Jonathan Butters at Sheffield.

I’ve found a link to Alec Saunders’ excellent blog, which has the best history of this (letter, author) I have seen. Apparently you can find early audio of it as well… time to update the piece.

“30 minute brownies in 20 minutes” I love it, I find the bluegrass cello part right up my alley.

i am at the moment writing a personal statement and this really has inspired me, it dosent matter what the original was, it matters that this person had the artistic temperment to think of such a piece of what is essentially art.

Can anyone who knows SJ count how many of these he has actually done? only needs to be partially modified, which brings me linguistic cosquillas. There is no word for “the tickles” in English, is there?

No, but we do say “the giggles”…

Was he a prophet? The description is very close to what a life of a successful internet marketer looks like…

Wow what an hallucination, or could it be he has he perfected the art of time management through simple time distortion? Either way I like his vision and as a keen bike rider his ability to pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. Ah I remember those days. Thank you. This piece brought a smile to my face and rabid ideas for my diary.

Webmaster of Park PCS10

With the brains curses an appealing information. The conductor properties the expenditure. A sentient smell stumbles. How do a helping lavatory harm? Why can’t a yowl strip the ironic bread toasted? When will the decide performer whistle?

Yes and after three hours in his company everyone hated him

So true! -Ed.

kinda funny, but a little derivative of Carlin’s “Modern Man” poem

Seems very poetic. Can see myself repeating this over and over for good vibes in the morning “I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.” Guy Matt.

The big stake is a gigantic product of cash that you can win in space recreations depending on if you hit the right fusion. Individuals as far and wide as possible have ended up being moment tycoons with space amusements and you might be afterward!

Fusion it is.

Wow he seems to be really great in multi-tasking.

I just now read the essay in my Creative Writing class! I was wondering if anyone knows what the applicant meant by “critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear…” and “last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration”. Maybe it is my poor 8th grade vocabulary, however, I would like some help. I don’t understand his rhetorical strategies… Any suggestions?

I’m glad this is being read in creative writing, he certainly used some creative strategies. Humor through exaggeration, humor through a familiar phrase in an unfamiliar place, reuse of common advertising phrases in unexpected or ridiculous contexts. Good luck!

I really appreciate you, I think glass is very important as we use it for many purposes.

It is quite fun to find this here! This essay was the one that got me into college essay writing.

Hi I’m Hugh Gallagher and I wrote this essay. I am flattered and honored it lives on and is part of your site. Slight heads up tho– your version here has some missing/altered words. The OG platinum version lives online here: https://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/essay.htm

and lots of stuff I’ve done since then lives at http://www.hughgallagher.net

cheers. apply yourself, and the world is yours

Oh, that’s fantastic. Thanks Hugh, delighted to hear from you, and to link to the true source & your current work! I regret that your comment was caught in a spam filter for a bit… another facet of an internet where it’s hard to find originals of things we love.

My friend Mako and I endeavored to spread the love of VON³ around Cambridge a few years back: thanks for continuing to bring light to wayward corners of the world.

Bad Behavior has blocked 178 access attempts in the last 7 days.

Hugh Gallagher’s NYU Admissions Essay (really?)

Our recent family vacation to D.C. My kid on a canoe. West River, MD.

Best. Essay. Ever. Humorist Hugh Gallagher’s brilliant and funny admissions essay for a writing contest and possibly for NYU, his alma mater. I re-read it every once in a while. It’s one of my favorites because it makes me laugh out loud and reminds me to take a step back and try not to get caught up in the pressure many of us feel to ensure that our kids achieve and over-achieve. -Christina

HOW I GOT INTO COLLEGE By Hugh Gallagher

Essay Question : In order for the admissions staff of our college to get to know you, the applicant, better, we ask that you answer the following question: are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?

Gallagher ‘s Essay:

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.

I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller ‘number nine’ and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

Christina Simon: Los Angeles, California, United States I'm the mom of two kids who attended The Willows School in Culver City and Viewpoint School in Calabasas. My daughter is a graduate of Northwestern University Medill School of Journalism ('23) and my son is a sophomore at UPenn/Wharton ('26). I live in Coldwater Canyon with my husband, Barry, and our dogs. Contact me at [email protected]

2 thoughts to “Hugh Gallagher’s NYU Admissions Essay (really?)”

LOL! That’s awesome. Well, it shows a lot more creativity (and perhaps a little insanity) than most college entrance essays. 🙂

Sounds familiar

How Hugh Gallagher Got Into NYU... (his actual essay)

mattistotle, essays make up .1% of NYU’s decision???

are you kidding? I thought that essays matter A LOT at all elite colleges! i thought it’s what make or break you everywhere.

This is the most creative college admission essay any school has probably ever received. Which one of you that’s criticizing this essay would ever be able to create something like this? Even if you could… which one of you would actually have the balls to send it to a school like NYU? This kid obviously through this thing together in a few minutes, sent it to a top school in the nation and impressed them enough with it to be accepted,

THATS WHAT MOST PEOPLE CALL A GENIUS!!!

Look at many of the greatest American writers… they had novels published by the time they were 21 or 22… PURE GENIUS

OH and that person who said 6 of their teachers gave them this essay when he/she asked for advice… My advice to you is take their advice stupid,

Now too many people might try to copy Hugh and that isnt going to work but the key is USE YOUR HEAD and do something out of the ordinary with your essay. Don’t just follow the rules or the prompt. Hugh probably applied to more schools than just NYU. NYU just saw the potential.

AND ITS ****EN HILLARIOUS… those of you who don’t think so must not have a sense of humor.

That is an essay.

it completely fails to answer the questions, though. Yes, he’s creative, but we know nothing about him besides that.

I’ve seen people say this was an essay for everything from NYU to Harvard to prestigious scholarships.

Me, I wrote my college essay about almost falling down a set of steep stone stairs, and I wrote my law school essay about my wallet. Both worked out wonderfully for me.

Some of the topics my college essays were about: extraterrestrial life, lunch meats, almost getting mugged in Spain, stupid things people say in my town, David Bowie

I got into 9 tier 1/top 20 schools, including both the best journalism and creative writing programs in the country. I am not in the top 10% of my class. My school’s valedictorian did not get into an ivy league. I got a 2 on my AP Chem exam last year.

So yeah, I really would like to think my essays helped me get into decent schools. I have some good awards too, but apart from that I don’t think much else on my applications stood out.

I couldn’t disagree more. After having read that essay, I can tell he is not only creative, but ballsy, articulate, and has a great sense of humor. His personality is shining through; it’s genuine. This is more than I can say about someone who writes the usual BS “how I learned leadership from sports/being student body president/insert extracurricular activity here” or the “why I admire my mom” essays.

nyutimestwo, those essays sound very intriguining! i would love to read them if you wouldnt mind sending them to me :)

@bondgirl0409

Haha, I actually don’t have them, as one was swallowed up by my crashing computer and the other just sort of disappeared somewhere. I think as long as a prospective writes about something relatively unique and manages to get their personality to come through, the admissions people will be impressed.

I heard about this ages ago. I was like in 9th or 10th grade when I first read it.

I looked it up today to have a giggle and it gave me one. It’s so brilliant.

If he DID send this to NYU, I think I have to make love to Hugh Gallagher.

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Published September 18, 2023

Your Guide to the NYU Supplemental Essay

Katie Hindman

Senior Assistant Director of Admissions

As part of this year’s first-year application , you’ll have the option to answer a new NYU supplemental essay question. This year, we’re asking something brand new:

We are looking for peacemakers, changemakers, global citizens, boundary breakers, creatives and innovators – Choose one quote from the following and let us know why it inspires you; or share a short quote and person not on our list who inspires you, and include why (250 words).

“We’re used to people telling us there are no solutions, and then creating our own. So we did what we do best. We reached out to each other, and to our allies, and we mobilized across communities to make change, to benefit and include everyone in society.” Judith Heumann, 2022 NYU Commencement Address
“ I encourage your discomfort, that you must contribute, that you must make your voice heard. That is the essence of good citizenship .” Sherilynn Ifill, 2015 NYU Commencement Address
“If you know how to fly but you never knew how to walk, wouldn’t that be sad?” Lang Lang, 2015 NYU Honorary Degree Recipient
“ You have the right to want things and to want things to change. ” Sanna Marin, Former Prime Minister of Finland, 2023 NYU Commencement Address
“It’s hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair.” Taylor Swift, “Change,” Released 2008, 2022 NYU Commencement Speaker
Share a short quote and person not on this list, and why the quote inspires you.

a student writes in a notebook at a table

No matter your initial reaction to this new question (perhaps “How or where do I start?!” or “Hmm, nobody has answered this before…” or even “Woohoo! I get to be the first to take this on– no expectations!”), we want this question to give you a chance to shine.

Remember that there are real people (like me!) on the other side of the screen reading your application, and no matter what you write, we are grateful that you’re willing to share with us.

We encourage you to approach the (optional!) NYU supplemental essay question with a sense of curiosity and excitement– because, after all, it’s all about YOU!

HOW SHOULD YOU START?

Everyone’s writing process is distinct and personal. To begin, it might be helpful to jot down some ideas about what inspires you in each of these quotes. Even if one jumps out immediately, give some thought to them all! Is there a common theme that comes up in the ways you relate to each? Do they remind you of another quote that inspires you? Brainstorm in the way that works best for you, but give yourself a fair opportunity to consider your best answer.

Once you’ve chosen the quote you’ll reflect on, get all of your thoughts on paper. Sometimes the best writing comes from fragmented and unedited ideas, so try to stay away from judging your own writing before it’s time to edit.

WHAT SHOULD YOU SAY?

While each of the selected quotes has a specific connection to NYU, we want your answer to be about YOU. We assume you’re excited about NYU because you’re choosing to apply, so there’s no need to use this as a way to tell us about your interest in the school. You also don’t need to give us a literary or academic analysis! We’re confident you’re developing these skills in school. Rather, this is our opportunity to read about what inspires you as an individual (because we’re inspired by these quotes, too)!

Finally, think about how your answer might enhance what you’ve already shared with us through the rest of your application. Remember, you only have 250 words to answer the NYU supplemental essay, so start big and then narrow your ideas down to their most succinct form. Pick an idea and get right to it.

THE BOTTOM LINE…

There is no right or wrong way to answer as long as your answer is genuine to you.

Remember that this question is completely optional (we promise). If you decide that you don’t want to answer the question, you will not be penalized in the admissions process.

All of us admissions counselors are wishing you the very best of luck as you complete your college applications. We are already looking forward to learning more about the unique and dynamic class of 2028!

NYU’s Common Application Questions

Thinking about submitting an application to NYU? Learn what to expect when you add NYU to your My Colleges list on the Common Application.

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Planning to apply to NYU during the 2023-2024 academic year? Here's what you need to know about recent changes to NYU's Common Application.

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Dream excerpts from idle tuesday, but i have not yet gone to college, share this:.

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New York University | NYU’s 2023-24 Essay Prompts

Select-a-prompt short response.

We are looking for peacemakers, changemakers, global citizens, boundary breakers, creatives and innovators - Choose one quote from the following and let us know why it inspires you; or share a short quote and person not on our list who inspires you, and include why.

“We’re used to people telling us there are no solutions, and then creating our own. So we did what we do best. We reached out to each other, and to our allies, and we mobilized across communities to make change, to benefit and include everyone in society.” Judith Heuman, 2022 NYU Commencement Address

“I encourage your discomfort, that you must contribute, that you must make your voice heard. That is the essence of good citizenship." Sherilynn Ifill, 2015 NYU Commencement Address

“If you know how to fly but you never knew how to walk, wouldn’t that be sad?” Lang Lang, 2015 NYU Honorary Degree Recipient

"You have the right to want things and to want things to change." Sanna Marin, Former Prime Minister of Finland, 2023 NYU Commencement Address

"It‘s hard to fight when the fight ain‘t fair.” Taylor Swift, Change, Released 2008, 2022 NYU Commencement Speaker

Share a short quote and person not on this list, and why the quote inspires you.

Common App Personal Essay

The essay demonstrates your ability to write clearly and concisely on a selected topic and helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice. What do you want the readers of your application to know about you apart from courses, grades, and test scores? Choose the option that best helps you answer that question and write an essay of no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response. Remember: 650 words is your limit, not your goal. Use the full range if you need it, but don‘t feel obligated to do so.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you‘ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

What will first-time readers think of your college essay?

NYU Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

The following essay examples were written by authors who were admitted to New York University and are intended to provide examples of successful NYU application essays. All names have been redacted for anonymity. Please note that other CollegeAdvisor.com has shared these essays with admissions officers at NYU in order to deter potential plagiarism.

For more help with your NYU supplemental essays, check out our 2020-2021 New York University Essay Guide ! For more guidance on personal essays and the college application process in general, sign up for a monthly plan to work with an admissions coach 1-on-1.

We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand – Why NYU? (400 word maximum)

I always had a keen interest in numbers, probability, and finance. Early on, I could run numbers quickly: calculating sales tax, analyzing probabilities, and visualizing complex mathematical models in my head. After taking AP classes in economics and statistics, I became intrigued with the mathematical representations of economic markets and statistical models, sparking my desire to pursue a career in that field. I set my sights on becoming an actuary since risk management intrigues me and allows me to use my talents in quantitative analysis. However, few schools offer a comprehensive study in that field, which makes Stern the perfect fit for me as the curriculum combines my interests and career goals.

At Stern, I will have the privilege of studying actuarial science, while also obtaining a business degree. The ability to tailor my education with the actuarial science concentration allows me to develop skills in statistical analysis. Through the intense rigor of the concentration requirements STAT-UB 21 “Introduction to Stochastic Processes” and STAT-UB 15 “Statistical Inference and Regression Analysis,” I will be given a stepping stone into quantifying social situations while stimulating my mathematical intrigue through advanced fields like stochastic calculus. I am eager to pursue this course of study to enhance my career development.

The Bachelor of Science in Business Program excites me, as it entails a well rounded yet intensive study in core business disciplines. However, what draws me to Stern is the emphasis on gaining a global perspective, which is crucial in today’s rapidly changing world economy. Through the International Business Exchange Program, I will be able to gain a first-hand cultural experience that will mold me into a global citizen and business leader. Not only will I be taking courses in the most prestigious business schools across the globe, but I will also have new doors opened for me to network with alumni.

Why this NYU essay worked: From an ex-admissions officer

This is an extremely compelling essay. It is clear that the student’s declared interests are, in fact, in line with both the student’s background and experiences, as well as in line with what the college has to offer. These essays work best when the reader can feel the student’s conviction and enthusiasm. Admissions officers appreciate when the reader can easily see the impact the student will have on the school community. By going into detail about their passion for business, the student helps the reader clearly visualize how this passion will manifest in the classroom.

Before I began interning for the International Rescue Committee’s refugee youth acclimation program–right in the heart of the Lower East Side–I underwent weeks of training in providing trauma-informed support, reminded repeatedly that these kids have gone through more than I could possibly imagine.

When the kids did show up, however, I could barely relate the image painted for us in training to the bright, bubbly children who I was to mentor. Mahdi and I especially took to each other. He was just like any other nine-year-old kid–a fan of Roblox, pizza, basketball, funny accents, and an acute hatred for anything math-related.

Only, he wasn’t like any other kid–at least not in the eyes of the 49% of Americans who believe he has no place in this country, for no reason other than the color of his skin, his god, the status of his residency here.

There are people here who would hear his name and call him a terrorist. Kids on the playground would mock his accent rather than be amazed at how quickly he picked up basketball–a sport he’d had zero exposure to 6 months back. Adults, on both ends of the ideological spectrum, would see him as a political mascot rather than a kid, allow him to be one–he’d be forced to grow up too soon, as a result of the hatred, having his existence politicized.

To get to my internship every day, I transferred at West 4th, from the A to the M train. Once in a while, I’d take the chance to climb up and walk around Washington Square Park.

Clad in lavender shirts, NYU students were camped out in the center of the park, asking people to write out on little post-its what social justice meant to them. Fire burning in the pit of my stomach, I wrote, “Allowing Mahdi to just be a kid.”

And NYU can help me make that happen–there is groundbreaking research happening on campus regarding racial bias and inequality at CASSR that I can’t wait to contribute to. Pursuing a major of public health policy, I can take fascinating, relevant classes such as Social Policy in Modern Societies and Race and Ethnicity. What’s more, I can join student organizations–like the one handing out the post-its that day in Washington Square–and work with my peers, with NYU, with New York City as a whole, towards social justice from a health perspective, towards allowing Mahdi to just be a kid.

This essay begins with a student who is searching for answers. She has trained to help her community, applied her training to her environment, and then expands on her findings. In her volunteering endeavors, she finds her purpose. She continues with a personal story with Mahdi, and successfully brings us into her world. We are engaged. She is now frustrated because she can’t help enough, and with a bit of karma, she is approached by an NYU student, and at this moment NYU becomes her answer. She then cites why NYU is her solution, which major she will pursue, which classes she will take, and which student organizations will help to accent her goals. This essay succeeds because we see this student as community oriented and ambitious. As readers, we know that she will be a great and focused addition to the campus. This is a student with purpose, and she makes it clear that NYU will propel her to reach her goals.

These essay examples were compiled by the advising team at CollegeAdvisor.com . If you want to get help writing your NYU application essays from CollegeAdvisor.com Admissions Experts , register with CollegeAdvisor.com today.

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3 Strong NYU Diversity Essay Examples

New York University (NYU) is an extremely selective school, so it’s important to write strong essays that help your application stand out. In this post, we’ll share some essays real students have submitted for NYU’s Diversity prompt and outline their strengths and areas of improvement.

(Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved.)

Note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be beneficial to get inspiration for your essays, but you should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarize.

Read our NYU essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

NYU Diversity Prompt

The following essays respond to this prompt:

NYU was founded on the belief that a student’s identity should not dictate the ability for them to access higher education. That sense of opportunity for all students, of all backgrounds, remains a part of who we are today and a critical part of what makes us a world class university. Our community embraces diversity, in all its forms, as a cornerstone of the NYU experience. We would like to better understand how your experiences would help us to shape and grow our diverse community. Please respond in 250 words or less.

This is the classic Diversity Essay , which asks students to share what makes them unique. While diversity is most commonly associated with ethnicity, culture, and identity, keep in mind that it also encompasses:

Interests, hobbies, and talents
Perspectives, values, and opinions
Experiences
Personality traits

With that, let’s dive into the student examples!

Example 1 – Life as an Indian-Muslim

Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim, I am constantly reminded of my minority status. As a child, the only outlet I had from this feeling was traveling back to India; the secluded family farm welcomed me with the pungent aroma of Indian spices and the constant chatter of relatives always brought me comfort. However, as governments changed and the anti-Muslim sentiment in India grew, an insecurity in my identity began to form. Loud riots exploded and brutal attacks on Muslim families made it clear that I was no longer welcome in a country which once felt like home. Living in a world which never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression.

Reporting through the general and Islamic publications at NYU, including the Aftab Arts and Literature publication, is how I plan to use my seven years of prior experience in journalism to shape the diverse community at NYU. It is imperative that I not only raise a voice of representation for the miniscule percentage of Indian-Muslim students, but also give the larger NYU community unbiased reporting on Muslim concerns. Being a voice for Muslims in the media is essential to combating Islamophobia, especially since 9/11, as media propaganda has instilled a deadly bias against Muslims.

At NYU, where almost every country in the world is represented, I will be able to learn about other unique cultures and expand the community by educating on my own.

What the Essay Did Well

This student does a great job of answering this NYU-specific Diversity Prompt , specifically through their clear, engaging structure.

The prompt is two-pronged. Students must describe:

1) their diverse background or experience, and

2) how their diverse background or experience will improve the community at NYU.

In this essay, the student answers the first question in their first paragraph and the second question in their second paragraph. They connect the paragraphs with a strong transition sentence that takes us from their past experiences to the future experiences they hope to have at NYU: “Living in a world which never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression.”

On a smaller scale, the first paragraph is structured by a beautiful narrative arc. This student struggled with cultural expression growing up, so they enjoyed traveling back to India where they felt comfortable, but then Indian political activity made India less comfortable, and ultimately they turned to writing, rather than a place, as their preferred form of cultural expression. Their story is easy to follow, yet detailed, with compelling lines like “the pungent aroma of Indian spices and the constant chatter of relatives always brought me comfort” ensuring the reader doesn’t lose focus.

In addition to providing an engaging essay scaffolding, this student does a great job of making themself seem engaging by sharing their thoughts on the Indian-Muslim experience. Their reflections on the Indian government’s views on Islam, and the relationship between media, 9/11, and Islamophobia are brief by necessity, but nonetheless show this student has strong critical thinking skills, and would have a lot to teach their peers at NYU.

Finally, the student explains in concrete terms why they would be a valuable addition to the NYU community. In the sentence “Reporting through the general and Islamic publications at NYU, including the Aftab Arts and Literature publication, is how I plan to use my seven years of prior experience in journalism to shape the diverse community at NYU,” they both subtly reference their past accomplishments and paint a picture of how they’ll use NYU’s resources to continue building on those achievements.

What Could Be Improved

While this essay is both personal and compelling, there are two changes the student could make to take their writing to the next level.

Firstly, the student’s topic is emotional, but they don’t express much emotion in their writing. For example, they write “the only outlet I had from this feeling was traveling back to India,” but we are left wondering what “this feeling” was.

Some small adjustments could help readers better understand the student’s emotions. For example, they could change their first sentence to “Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim has been painful, which has made me feel conflicted about my minority status” or “Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim has been isolating, which has made me resent my minority status.”

Additionally, as they write about the effect of the anti-Muslim attacks in India on their cultural identity, they could add a sentence describing their emotions. For example:

“Loud riots exploded and brutal attacks on Muslim families made it clear that I was no longer welcome in a country that once felt like home. At the same time, the country that is my home has always been fond of profiling my family as terrorists, when they are the ones who force us to live in constant fear. Living in a world that never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression.”

Secondly, because the student does such a great job of responding to the prompt in their first two paragraphs, the concluding sentence “At NYU, where almost every country in the world is represented, I will be able to learn about other unique cultures and expand the community by educating on my own” is unnecessary. We are already convinced that they will expand the NYU community. Instead, these words can be reallocated to adding sentences with emotional valence.

Example 2 – Santa’s Not Real!

When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real. This wasn’t shocking because I was Jewish, and my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. But, in December 2009, they gave me paramount instructions. I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands, so I promised never to reveal this colossal secret. However, every Christmas, I would feel isolated from my Christian friends. Annually, I was told how terrible it was that I didn’t celebrate.

For a while, I felt terrible too, and the isolation only persisted as I got older. At thirteen, I began fasting for Yom Kippur, so I would miss that day of school. However, my teachers would always manage to schedule a test that I would be forced to miss. This was infuriating. But, in the heat of my anger, I realized something. My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people. They were just ignorant of cultures different from their own.

This realization made me value the importance of celebrating cultural diversity. No one should ever feel isolated because of their differences.

This essay does a great job of drawing us in with its first sentence. To most American readers, the sentence “When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real” is intriguing. Finding out that Santa isn’t real is a universal experience that binds most of us, so we want to know why this student was told at such a young age.

Another strength of this essay is the student’s charming use of language. For example, the student cleverly describes Santa: “my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents.” Similarly, the sentence “The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands” is funny.

Lastly, this student does a good job of pointing out their identity. While admissions officers have access to the name of this student’s high school, without being specifically reminded that the student grew up Jewish in the South, they likely would not have put that together. The sentence “My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people” brings attention to this student’s complex identity.

The main issue with this essay is that it does not flow. This is attributable to a lack of structure.

The student begins with the Santa anecdote, which is explored for four sentences (more than a “hook” normally gets), but oddly, does not turn into the focus of the essay. Instead, the student abruptly moves to discuss other experiences when they felt isolated due to being Jewish. For this anecdote to be effective, the student needs to do one of two things: focus it or connect it.

With the “focus it” method, the student would finish the Santa anecdote, then use the rest of the essay to reflect on how the anecdote shows their values or approach to diversity. This could look like:

“When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real. This wasn’t shocking because I was Jewish, and my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. But, in December 2009, they gave me paramount instructions. I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands, so I promised never to reveal this colossal secret. Unfortunately, my pre-K self was chatty and didn’t understand that the Santa secret would hurt my friends if I told them, and I ended up telling Natalia Huckabee. Natalia’s mom called my mom and explained the importance of us respecting each other’s differences and my mom was mortified.

Since then, it has been very important to me that I respect the beliefs of people around me and that they respect my Jewish identity… “

For the “connect it” method, the student would shorten their Santa anecdote, connect it to other anecdotes about feeling isolated, then reflect on how that isolation affects their worldview. This would look like:

“My Jewish parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. Actually, at the ripe age of four, they sat me down and told me that Santa wasn’t real. In that same sitting, they gave me very specific instructions: I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. I just had to say that Santa didn’t visit Jews.

Each year, I was told a million times how terrible it was that I didn’t get presents from Santa. Each year, I missed four to seven tests for Jewish holidays. Each year, I… “

Either way, the anecdote should be followed by reflection. Currently, this student’s introspective musings feel surface-level and are not compelling. They include “For a while, I felt terrible too” and “This was infuriating.”

Similarly, the conclusions they draw about the importance of diversity lack nuance and do not show a capacity for deep thought. These include “I realized something. My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people. They were just ignorant of cultures different from their own” and “No one should ever feel isolated because of their differences.”

Dedicating a few sentences specifically to deep reflection would allow the student to explore their identity with more authenticity and would help admissions officers get to know them.

Lastly, this student completely fails to answer a core element of this prompt: “ We would like to better understand how your experiences would help us to shape and grow our diverse community.” The student does not say anything about NYU, the NYU community, or how they will contribute to the NYU community.

For any Diversity Essay , it is extremely important to write about how your diversity shapes your outlook and actions. Specifically with this prompt, the student should forecast how their diversity would play out at NYU. They could describe their plans to start a club, participate in a specific research initiative, or get involved with activism.

Example 3 – Doc McStuffins

“The Doc is in, and she’ll fix you up!”

Why was it okay for McStuffins to be both black and intelligent in her world, but it was so rare in mine? Based on assumption, I was shoved into intervention groups without proper assessment, causing me to avoid participation in class. At least until I discovered my true passion — Biology.

While my teachers discouraged me from STEM, my ever-curious mind gravitated towards it, yearning to learn more. I memorized each detail of what I was given, grinning as I recited cell systems and organelles. I now hold an internship investigating DNA editing technology (CRISPR), working to alter DNA of ailments through laboratory work and qualitative analysis. Somehow, seeing a 7-year-old girl wipe jam off a frantic doll, convinced it was bleeding, motivated me to dive head-first into the world of science.

Diversity in science is incredibly significant, but how can there be diversity if non-conventional scientists are discouraged? NYU values the importance of diversity, making it the school for me. At NYU I will join Blackademics and, I will form a podcast for women of color to talk about their experiences with commonly faced educational setbacks. As someone encouraged by seeing representation, I deeply understand the excitement that seeing someone like you doing “atypical” things can bring. Through NYU courses like Intergroup Dialogue, I will hold a similar influence that Doc McStuffins had on me towards others.

This is an example of a hook-done-right. The essay starts with a quote from the Doc McStuffins theme song, which (whether you’re familiar with Doc McStuffins or not) reads as sweet and endearing. Then, she uses a provocative question to connect the quote to her own experiences, which serves as a transition to the bulk of the essay, which is about her experiences.

This student centers her essay around a specific theme: representation. A common error in college essay writing is the failure to stay focused, but she successfully uses her theme to anchor her essay. Her hook is about representation , her setbacks are about representation , and she wants to get involved in specific NYU activities to improve representation .

Lastly, and extremely importantly, this student thoroughly answers the prompt. She is asked how her diverse experiences will improve the NYU community, and she explains how her experience growing up as a young, Black woman — interested in STEM but shut out from STEM — will motivate her to work towards equal representation at NYU.

This student’s main area for improvement has to do with her integration of the Doc McStuffins hook. Simply put, Doc McStuffins is referenced too much in her later paragraphs. With a limited word count, every sentence is a resource, and the majority of sentences should go toward a student’s values and personality.

Here, we would suggest that “Somehow, seeing a 7-year-old girl wipe jam off a frantic doll, convinced it was bleeding, motivated me to dive head-first into the world of science” be replaced with a sentence describing the student’s emotions about her success in STEM. Throughlines are great, but connecting every paragraph back to your hook is repetitive.

Additionally, the aforementioned sentence is not easily digestible. Unless your reader is extremely familiar with Doc McStuffins, it will probably take them a minute to figure out who the 7-year-old girl is and what jam blood has to do with anything. This same issue presents itself in the sentence “Based on assumption, I was shoved into intervention groups without proper assessment, causing me to avoid participation in class,” which is hard to understand.

Read through your essay to ensure that all of your sentences make sense, no matter the knowledge level of the person reading. Run your essay by friends and family, and specifically ask them to flag areas that they think might be confusing.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay

Want feedback on your NYU diversity essay before you submit? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!