maturity essays

What Is Maturity?

Authentically creating a refuge in an age of anxiety..

Posted June 13, 2019 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

We’ve long worried deeply about the same basic stuff: health, love, family, work, and money. But like most therapists, I’m seeing more and more anxiety in the people coming in for help.

There’s a sharper edge to what lies beneath common life concerns, as the very foundation of our shared social experiment increasingly feels shaky. We have less and less faith in the basic adult capacity of the people and institutions making the world’s most important decisions. A patient of mine recently summed it up as well as anyone when she said, frantically, “Who the f— is running this place?”

A couple of years ago, when my daughter was maybe 5, she called out to me from her bedroom about 15 minutes after I’d put her down. I sighed deeply when I heard her call me; I was tired and just entering the sweet hour of adult time with my wife that marks the end of the day. I entered her room and did my best to muster patience as I asked her what she needed. She said sweetly, “Dad, I just need an adult in the room for a little bit.” My heart softened and I said sure, and I stayed a little while by her bed.

I’ve thought of that moment often. It’s come to me many times in my conversations with people. She named something that we all experience, some of us only from time to time, some of us more pervasively: that feeling that we need to know, to feel, the presence of someone powerful that we can trust, someone with self-possession who communicates “It’s OK, I’ve got this.” A true adult; a person possessed of maturity.

What do we mean by that? What is that quality of maturity that marks the adult we need in the room?

We certainly know it when we see its absence. This is precisely the experience that is driving much of the underlying anxiety I’m seeing in my practice. So many of us are looking around at the enormous complexity of the problems we face as a society and not seeing an adult anywhere near the rooms in which the most important decisions are made. We see increasingly enormous rewards given to those of us who most entertainingly act out our emotional life; and if the emotions acted out are base and primitive, all the better. For some, this is what passes as authenticity .

And yet this “authenticity” is so untethered to wisdom that it could not possibly be authentic. To be a genuine person means to be connected to the essential truths that bind us; it means being connected to the basic facts of living that promote true well-being for oneself and for others. To see a person acting out their baseness or destructive ambition is to witness someone with no clue about what will lead to their own well-being. To call this person authentic is to hold up as exemplary the thin wispy plant struggling to reach the light. To be truly genuine means being relatively emotionally healthy.

Maturity is the behavioral expression of emotional health and wisdom. It is the capacity to know one’s own emotional experience, to be oriented by this experience to some aspect of the truth, to place this truth within the context of other truths, and finally to act in accordance with one’s values.

We urgently need this from each other. Many people in my practice have a difficult time trusting the world because they were raised by immature people. Their parents need not have been malicious or negligent; perhaps they were simply unable to stay present in a consistent way when they were buffeted by their own emotional life. Perhaps they could be punishing and withdrawn when hurt, or they could bring too much of their own neediness to their child when they were insecure. Therapy work with such people largely involves being the adult in the room for them, being present and self-possessed over time, so that they might cultivate within themselves the maturity to hold themselves with a consistency they hadn’t fully been given.

We need maturity within ourselves for our own sake. All too often we act out what we are feeling in ways that take us further from our own well-being. Maturity—the alignment of our truth, our wisdom, and our values—is something we can cultivate.

This is the chief pursuit of the therapy groups I run. In my groups, there are six or seven people who meet weekly for 90 minutes and have ongoing relationships with each other. All kinds of things happen in this space; the relationships run the gamut of what happens between people. It’s an object lesson in cause and effect. What do I want here, for myself and for others? How does my behavior bring me closer or further from well-being? What has to be navigated in order for me to bring it about? How do I most genuinely and effectively show up? Over time, maturity is cultivated, since maturity is required if we are to progress in experiencing and promoting wellness.

Of course, we can’t all be in therapy groups. But we can all pay close attention to cause and effect as it exists in our own lives. What is important to me? Is my behavior in alignment with these values? What is required of me to move towards healthier relationships? What is called for if I’m to move more directly in the direction of my own true well-being?

Eric S. Jannazzo, Ph.D. is a writer and clinical psychologist in private practice in Seattle, Washington.

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25 Maturity Examples

maturity examples and definition, explained below

Maturity is a trait where a person has the experience and wisdom to behave in a resolved, resolute, and secure way.

Maturity is about wisdom . It usually comes after a lot of introspection , philosophical thinking, failure, and learned humility.

Society has developmental markers for maturity (e.g. age 18 to vote). Nevertheless, it’s a more fluid cultural concept than that. Maturity is not only about age. Many adults are immature—we might say that some adults behave childishly or immaturely.

Below are some examples of maturity, starting with the five indicators of maturity proposed by Todres (2011).

Todres’ Five Indicators of Maturity

Political participation– If a person is able to cogently participate in political debate then they are considered mature (and therefore should be allowed to vote).
Independent economic power – A mature person should be able to work to earn a living, so long as they’re not prohibited by factors outside of their control such as a disability.
Responsibility and accountability – A mature person should be responsible. As a result, they should also be able to be held responsible for their actions in court.
Bodily integrity – A mature person should be able to care for their own body, and also have the right to control their own body.
Family rights – A mature person should be able to care for their family, and therefore have the right to start a family if they so desire.

Maturity Examples in Everyday Life

Controlling your urges
Having clear priorities in life
Accepting your faults and failings
Being trustworthy with valuable things
Using risk assessment effectively
Being able to think ethically
Diffusing rather than escalating conflicts
Respect for others
Tolerance of difference
Taking the high road
Knowing when to back down for your own good
Accepting loss gracefully
Being a graceful winner
Being pragmatic to gradually move toward your goals
Accepting some things are out of your control
Understanding you can’t know everything
Being able to acknowledge when you’re wrong
Developing humility
Being self-reliant
Developing your own morals rather than following your parents blindly
Using past experiences to inform present action
Overcoming egotism of childhood
Listening to others who you disagree with respectfully
Exercising patience with others
Delayed gratification

Detailed Examples

1. being disciplined to control urges.

A mature individual has self-control , and this virtue applies to many circumstances. The ability to control one’s urges means that the person is behaving rationally and with good reason—not based on emotions.

For example, a mature person can control their temper and not engage in meaningless arguments.

Another example is being able to resist buying something on a whim. Children and teenagers typically do not have this self-control—they often take what they want without thinking of the consequences because they lack maturity.

2. Knowing Your Priorities in Life

Mature people know what matters most, and they have the sense to line up things in the proper order of importance. They are good at prioritization because they know what matters.

In addition, mature people understand that resources are finite so they need to forego some things to have the more important things in life.

Since resources are finite, mature individuals know that they must not spend on unimportant things when there are bills that need to get paid. They also know how to use their time wisely. Children, for example, will typically play first before doing their homework—mature individuals do it the other way around.

3. Being Aware of One’s Strengths and Weaknesses

Self-awareness is an important indicator of maturity. A person who knows his or her strengths and weaknesses can gauge situations and make smart decisions.

Children usually make decisions out of fear—but then they jump and run and get hurt because they do not know what their limitations are.

Mature individuals understand the things they can do well and what they are not good at. As such, they can take appropriate action to learn more before taking on a new job or taking a business risk.

4. Understanding the Value of Risk Assessment

Children have poor risk assessment skills. For example, they will cross the road and even bother about incoming vehicles. Mature individuals must have already learned from their experiences and use these experiences to assess risks.

As a mature person, you must consider the possible consequences of your actions. The potential negative consequences are the “risks” from certain tasks.

This doesn’t mean not taking risks. Rather, it means taking measured risks and having a good sense of when a risk is worthwhile and when it is not.

It is why mature people walk away from a fight or attempt to de-escalate arguments—they know it is not worth it based on a mature risk assessment.

5. Ability to Bounce Back or Be Resilient

Resiliency is the ability to return to a normal state of mind after a devastating blow. Life is not always favorable, and mature people know this.

Staying down after a disappointment can be an indication that a person is not mature enough to recover from difficulties. Of course, this does not include mental illnesses like depression which need to be considered separately.

Mature individuals can suffer from a setback, like losing in a game or not getting a promotion, and bounce back from this failure to move on and become a stronger person.

6. The Capacity to Respect Others

Ignorance is a sign of immaturity. Being able to respect anyone despite their ethnicity, gender, religion, or political views is a sign that you have had enough experience to understand the diversity and intrinsic value of all human beings.

Maturity happens because of exposure to a wide range of people in life. It comes from knowing that you cannot control what people believe in, that people are different, and that we should be tolerant of one another if we want peace.

Immature people insist that they are always right. It is always about them—they have a feeling of delusional superiority.

7. Being Able to Take the High Road

Taking the high road means doing the right thing even when there is a temptation not to. Taking the high road is a sign of maturity because you’re standing by your moral code when others may not.

For example, a mature individual knows how to apologize if she makes a mistake.She stays true to her moral code.

Immature people will not do this—how could they when their pride sets aside their morality?

Taking the high road also means not engaging in useless and meaningless arguments. Sometimes, it is better to let things go rather than dig in and cause trouble.

8. The Competence to be Pragmatic

Pragmatism is a thought process where you want to get things done even if the outcome isn’t your ideal. Pragmatists take action.

A mature individual knows that not everything in life is handed on a silver spoon. Things get tough and unfavorable. Being a pragmatic individual means you try to find ways to make turn things around to make things a little better – step by step.

In youth, we’re often idealists . We want the world to be a certain way and we’re uncompromising in our pursuit of our ideals. But as we gain experience, we realize why the world isn’t the way we want it to be. Instead, we learn that progress toward our ideals is slow and arduous. That’s where pragmatic action comes in.

9. The Power to be Self-Reliant

Self-reliance is a sure sign of maturity—even animals are able to fend for themselves eventually. Of course, this example does not include people who have special needs.

Self-reliance means you can manage your own affairs. You no longer need support and guidance for basic needs. A mature person knows how to care for themself, find a job, and solve problems

. It is the self-reliant people who also often solves the problems of other people (and it is why they often get paid a high salary).

10. Acceptance of Things Beyond your Control

Mature individuals resign to the fact that not everything in life is within their control. So, instead of lamenting this, a mature individual has the strength to know what they can change and the wisdom to know what they can’t.

For example, in your early life, you might strive pointlessly to figure out how to live forever. But as you gain knowledge and experience, you realize that this is something outside of your control. Instead, you can make the most of your years by eating healthily, keeping a regular sleep routine, and exercising.

Here, you’ve graduated from an idealistic sense of being able to fix the world into a more mature sense of what you can realistically do for yourself and your community.

Maturity comes with experience. To become mature, one has to be rational—one has to be a thinker. Being emotional about things will not bring about maturity.

Of course, being impatient about achieving maturity is immaturity by itself. You must allow time to take you there—and ensure that you always approach things with a reasonable mind.

Todres, J. (2011). Maturity. Hous. L. REv. , 48 , 1107. See: https://heinonline.org/hol-cgi-bin/get_pdf.cgi?handle=hein.journals/hulr48&section=41

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Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

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Essay Samples on Maturity

How does being in a group affect bystander intervention.

Bystander impacts how people will react in a certain situation. I think it because our brain reaches maturity in a way that we should have priority first before anything else. For example, if an incident happened on a road, some people are going to the...

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Maturity and Growth in The Chrysalids

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Advantages, Disadvantages, and effects of Studying Abroad

Studying abroad is the act of going to another country to study the same material but in a completely new and different environment. Some people ask what the purpose is of studying abroad and what are the benefits of it. Well, studying abroad has many...

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Araby: The Battle of Lust and Family Roots

Epiphany is a central motif in “Araby” which represents disappointment. Joyce defines epiphany as the moment when the essence of a character is revealed. In this paper, I will show that the boy experiences incremental but eye-opening discoveries that will help him understand more about...

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Infantilism as Social Phenomenon and a Sign of Growing Immaturity

In the modern world, we are increasingly seeing signs of personal immaturity, a decrease in initiative, a depletion of value orientations among young people. The priorities, the general worldview, the principles and ideals of young people today have changed. The desire for self-actualization, self-reflection has...

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Best topics on Maturity

1. How Does Being in a Group Affect Bystander Intervention

2. Means of Assessing Project Management Maturity Measurement Process

3. The Question Of Whether Age Matters In A Relationship

4. Maturity and Growth in The Chrysalids

5. Advantages, Disadvantages, and effects of Studying Abroad

6. Araby: The Battle of Lust and Family Roots

7. Reaching the Age of Emotional Maturity

8. Infantilism as Social Phenomenon and a Sign of Growing Immaturity

9. Correlation Between Technological Progress and Social Maturity

10. Maturity And Myself: Key Aspects That Affects Me

Personal Experience
Perseverance
Career Goals

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Maturity Essay Examples

Understanding the concept of maturity and its nature.

The concept of maturity has not received a great deal of explicit attention in the literature. Delineation of libidinal development has been yielded the important formulation of the “Genital level” and “object-interest (Freud, 1924)”. Recent emphasis on the conflict between the regressive, dependents, versus the...

Maturity in All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque

War can control a person mentally, physically, and spiritually. This is best explained by Paul Bäumer’s statement, “Our thoughts are clay, they are moulded with the changes of the days” (Remarque 271). All Quiet on the Western Front is about a group of newly enlisted...

Discussion of Whether Maturity is Measured by Age Or Experience

Age is just a number? Can your actions be determined by your age or your age is just a number? Maturity is what determines your actions at a certain time, place or situation, that how you react to it. Maturity is what makes a person...

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Maturity in to Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

In every human being’s life, they experience maturity moving from child to adult and how one’s personality may change over time. Their opinion may change and the way that they see the world. They can see the heartache and pain amongst others and the gratitude...

Malala Yousafzai's Maturity Development in I Am Malala

Malala Yousafzai is a young woman who stands up for girls’ education. Malala stands up for girls’ education because she believes that she has the right to speak up and go to school. She goes through many hard situations because of the Taliban and Maulana...

A Theme of Maturity in the Novel the Marrow Thieves

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A Theme of Maturity in Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

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My View on the Meaning of Maturity

What makes a person mature? This is a question that is too often neglected in today’s society. People don’t become mature overnight. Furthermore, there is no specific age to reach maturity. Instead, maturity depends on a person’s sense of wisdom, responsibility, and humility. It is...

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