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How to Focus on Your Values in Your Personal Statement

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by CEG Essay Specialist Kaila Barber in a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info.

What’s Covered: 

Identifying your own values, demonstrate your values with examples.

• Reflecting on Your Experiences

It’s important to keep in mind what your reader is hoping to learn from your personal statement. The statement is an opportunity to reflect on your experiences and demonstrate how you think about and relate to the world around you. Specifically, what are some of your values? What’s meaningful to you? What do you find important? 

Personal values can be things like communication, patience, nature, health, personal development, courage, self-love, authenticity, healthy boundaries, or even humor. Before you start drafting your personal statement, take a moment to reflect on the things that you find important and why. 

We’re all very different people coming from different backgrounds, and we have different experiences that impact our individual values. While some of your values will overlap with those of other people, your personal reflection on the values that resonate most with you will separate your statement from someone else’s. 

The best way to include your values, skills, and traits in your essay is to pair them with specific examples and anecdotes. Each anecdote should align with at least one of the values that you find most important and should be accompanied by your personal reflection on the value and its related experience. 

Here’s an example. A student does not have a parent or guardian around to shoulder the expenses of caring for them and their younger sibling. In their outline, the student says that they value autonomy, financial stability, and family. Throughout the essay, they demonstrate these values by talking about getting a part-time job to help support the family and caring for their sibling at home. They also excel academically and even petition to have an AP Physics II course offered at their school. 

The student has shown autonomy by taking the initiative to petition for the new course and by getting a job. They have also demonstrated that both financial stability and family are important to them by pitching in to support their parent and sibling.

Your examples should show your reader your values by being specific and personal to your background and experiences.

Reflecting on Your Experiences 

Reflecting on your values is an equally important part of the personal statement. Your reflections or insight should focus on not only your experiences but also who you are and who you want to become. The insight you include in your essay shows that you’ve really found meaning from your personal experiences.

Insight can take a few forms. A common way to show insight is by writing about a growth experience. Show how you went from point A in your life to point B, and share the lessons you’ve learned along the way. For example, people often reflect on how navigating a strenuous activity or challenge changed the way that they thought about themselves and what they could handle. Reflecting on that change in confidence is one way to demonstrate insight.

One of the clearest ways to explore insight is to self-reflect and write about how something has either connected you to, influenced, or reframed how you think of your own values. Maybe you once pushed yourself too hard, and that experience showed you the value of rest and mindfulness. Or perhaps a change in circumstances shifted or redefined your values to an extent. 

For example, a person might say that while they craved stability as a child because of their home life, they now see the value of risk-taking and adventure in enriching their own knowledge and experiences. In this example, both security and risk are important to the speaker, but their experiences ultimately shifted weight from one value to another.

Regardless of how you approach your personal statement, insight is the overarching meaning that you take away from the relevant experiences and values you’ve shared.

Are you looking for more guidance as you draft your personal statement? Check out this post on how to come up with a strong topic that wows your admissions reader!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

How to Write a Personal Statement (A Crash Course)

By Ethan Sawyer, College Essay Guy

First, what even is the personal statement? It’s the ~650-word essay required by the Common Application (and other platforms), and its purpose is to demonstrate the skills, values, qualities, and interests you’ll bring to college.  

But it’s not a classic five-paragraph essay you write for English class. Here are some other ways a personal statement differs from an English class essay:

What Makes a Personal Statement Great? 📋

Colleges are looking for a lot of things when they read through your application, but the personal statement brings a few special things to the table. I believe college admission officers are looking for these four things in personal statements:

• Core Values: What do you care most about?
• Insight (aka “so what” moments): Can you think critically?
• Vulnerability: Is your essay personal?
• Craft: Has the essay gone through several revision drafts?

Want to learn more about what makes a personal statement great? Head here.

Okay, but how do you actually do this in your personal statement?

First, Brainstorm Some Quality Content 🧠

When a student begins the process, I ask them to complete the following exercises. So open a blank Google doc (or download a copy of my template here ).

Don’t skip these! You’re about to generate a bunch of great content (i.e., super cool details about you) for your personal statement.

• Essence Objects Exercise : 12 min.
• Values Exercise : 4 min.
• 21 Details Exercise : 20 min.
• Everything I Want Colleges to Know About Me Exercise : 20 min.
• The Feelings and Needs Exercise : 15-20 min.

Choosing an Essay Topic & Structure 🏗️

I teach two different ways to structure your essay: Montage and Narrative.

Montage Structure 📸

Montage essays present a series of qualities, experiences, or moments that are thematically linked, allowing students to show multiple sides of themselves that may not otherwise fit into a single narrative arc.

How do you find a common theme for your essay?

There are so many ways. But as you look back through your brainstorming sheet, look for:

• “I love/I know”: It could be something you love or know a lot about, as in the “ Food ” essay.
• Academic/career interests: Your essay could explain why you’re interested in a particular career, as in the “ Behavioral Economics ” and “ Flying ” essays.
• Identity/ies: Or you could choose a particular identity and focus on that, as in the “ Punk Rock Philosopher ” essay.

If you prefer brainstorming co-working videos, here’s how to find 7 ideas in 20 minutes .

Once you have a topic in mind, brainstorm 4-7 values that connect back to your theme, then for each value, list a specific way it manifests in your life.

Example: If you write about repairing cars (something you love), maybe that connects to your family values, literature, curiosity, adventure, and personal growth. Once you have those values, brainstorm a specific example of each value in your life.

Narrative Structure 📖

A Narrative Structure personal statement focuses on a challenge that fundamentally changed your life.

Heads up: Most students *don’t* have such a challenge, and by the way, you totally don’t have to write about a challenge to have a great personal statement.

To brainstorm a challenge-based essay (or decide if a challenge you’ve faced is essay-worthy), I recommend the Feelings and Needs exercise . In about 20 minutes you should have a basic outline for your essay.

Once you’ve done that, create a basic outline:

• Challenges + Effects (~⅓ of your essay)
• What I Did About It (~⅓ of your essay)
• What I Learned (~⅓ of your essay)

Writing & Revising 😮‍💨

Once you have a basic outline, it’s time to write. Don’t worry too much about word count and grammar on your first draft. Set a timer and go.

Then you’ll revise (and revise, and revise ...)

This process is all about revisions, in fact, and in my experience, it’s common for an essay to go through at least five drafts.

Here are a few questions you (or a trusted friend/mentor) can use when revising:

Does my narrative outline/essay ...

• Make clear what the challenges I faced were?
• Make clear how these challenges affected me?
• Make clear In what ways I was able to overcome these challenges?
• Make clear what these experiences taught me.

Does my montage outline/essay ...

• Have a precise topic or thematic thread?
• Provide specific examples in each paragraph that are linked to my clear topic/thematic thread?
• Provide solid examples of my values?
• Give a solid answer to the readers “so what” concerning my experiences and values?

This guide to Revising Your Essay in 5 Steps will help you navigate some of the revision process. When you’re ready, put your essay through the Great College Essay Test .

Looking for more in-depth, step-by-step instructions on writing the personal statement? Check out my free guide here .

For more advice on the rest of your college application , check out these amazing Pinterest Boards!

Guide Outline

Related content, 11 tips for early action and early decision, summer opportunities to improve your college applications, how to contact admissions officers, early action vs. early decision: what's the difference, how to complete the activities section on common app, 7 steps to submitting the common app.

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How to Write a College Essay | A Complete Guide & Examples

The college essay can make or break your application. It’s your chance to provide personal context, communicate your values and qualities, and set yourself apart from other students.

A standout essay has a few key ingredients:

• A unique, personal topic
• A compelling, well-structured narrative
• A clear, creative writing style
• Evidence of self-reflection and insight

To achieve this, it’s crucial to give yourself enough time for brainstorming, writing, revision, and feedback.

In this comprehensive guide, we walk you through every step in the process of writing a college admissions essay.

Table of contents

Why do you need a standout essay, start organizing early, choose a unique topic, outline your essay, start with a memorable introduction, write like an artist, craft a strong conclusion, revise and receive feedback, frequently asked questions.

While most of your application lists your academic achievements, your college admissions essay is your opportunity to share who you are and why you’d be a good addition to the university.

Your college admissions essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s total weight一and may account for even more with some colleges making the SAT and ACT tests optional. The college admissions essay may be the deciding factor in your application, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurriculars.

What do colleges look for in an essay?

Admissions officers want to understand your background, personality, and values to get a fuller picture of you beyond your test scores and grades. Here’s what colleges look for in an essay :

• Demonstrated values and qualities
• Vulnerability and authenticity
• Self-reflection and insight
• Creative, clear, and concise writing skills

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

It’s a good idea to start organizing your college application timeline in the summer of your junior year to make your application process easier. This will give you ample time for essay brainstorming, writing, revision, and feedback.

While timelines will vary for each student, aim to spend at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing your first draft and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Remember to leave enough time for breaks in between each writing and editing stage.

Create an essay tracker sheet

If you’re applying to multiple schools, you will have to juggle writing several essays for each one. We recommend using an essay tracker spreadsheet to help you visualize and organize the following:

• Deadlines and number of essays needed
• Prompt overlap, allowing you to write one essay for similar prompts

You can build your own essay tracker using our free Google Sheets template.

College essay tracker template

Ideally, you should start brainstorming college essay topics the summer before your senior year. Keep in mind that it’s easier to write a standout essay with a unique topic.

If you want to write about a common essay topic, such as a sports injury or volunteer work overseas, think carefully about how you can make it unique and personal. You’ll need to demonstrate deep insight and write your story in an original way to differentiate it from similar essays.

What makes a good topic?

• Meaningful and personal to you
• Uncommon or has an unusual angle
• Reveals something different from the rest of your application

Brainstorming questions

You should do a comprehensive brainstorm before choosing your topic. Here are a few questions to get started:

• What are your top five values? What lived experiences demonstrate these values?
• What adjectives would your friends and family use to describe you?
• What challenges or failures have you faced and overcome? What lessons did you learn from them?
• What makes you different from your classmates?
• What are some objects that represent your identity, your community, your relationships, your passions, or your goals?
• Whom do you admire most? Why?
• What three people have significantly impacted your life? How did they influence you?

How to identify your topic

Here are two strategies for identifying a topic that demonstrates your values:

• Start with your qualities : First, identify positive qualities about yourself; then, brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities.
• Start with a story : Brainstorm a list of memorable life moments; then, identify a value shown in each story.

After choosing your topic, organize your ideas in an essay outline , which will help keep you focused while writing. Unlike a five-paragraph academic essay, there’s no set structure for a college admissions essay. You can take a more creative approach, using storytelling techniques to shape your essay.

Two common approaches are to structure your essay as a series of vignettes or as a single narrative.

Vignettes structure

The vignette, or montage, structure weaves together several stories united by a common theme. Each story should demonstrate one of your values or qualities and conclude with an insight or future outlook.

This structure gives the admissions officer glimpses into your personality, background, and identity, and shows how your qualities appear in different areas of your life.

Topic: Museum with a “five senses” exhibit of my experiences

• Introduction: Tour guide introduces my museum and my “Making Sense of My Heritage” exhibit
• Story: Racial discrimination with my eyes
• Lesson: Using my writing to document truth
• Story: Broadway musical interests
• Lesson: Finding my voice
• Story: Smells from family dinner table
• Lesson: Appreciating home and family
• Story: Washing dishes
• Lesson: Finding moments of peace in busy schedule
• Story: Biking with Ava
• Lesson: Finding pleasure in job well done
• Conclusion: Tour guide concludes tour, invites guest to come back for “fall College Collection,” featuring my search for identity and learning.

Single story structure

The single story, or narrative, structure uses a chronological narrative to show a student’s character development over time. Some narrative essays detail moments in a relatively brief event, while others narrate a longer journey spanning months or years.

Single story essays are effective if you have overcome a significant challenge or want to demonstrate personal development.

Topic: Sports injury helps me learn to be a better student and person

• Situation: Football injury
• Challenge: Friends distant, teachers don’t know how to help, football is gone for me
• Turning point: Starting to like learning in Ms. Brady’s history class; meeting Christina and her friends
• My reactions: Reading poetry; finding shared interest in poetry with Christina; spending more time studying and with people different from me
• Insight: They taught me compassion and opened my eyes to a different lifestyle; even though I still can’t play football, I’m starting a new game

Brainstorm creative insights or story arcs

Regardless of your essay’s structure, try to craft a surprising story arc or original insights, especially if you’re writing about a common topic.

Never exaggerate or fabricate facts about yourself to seem interesting. However, try finding connections in your life that deviate from cliché storylines and lessons.

Admissions officers read thousands of essays each year, and they typically spend only a few minutes reading each one. To get your message across, your introduction , or hook, needs to grab the reader’s attention and compel them to read more..

Avoid starting your introduction with a famous quote, cliché, or reference to the essay itself (“While I sat down to write this essay…”).

While you can sometimes use dialogue or a meaningful quotation from a close family member or friend, make sure it encapsulates your essay’s overall theme.

Find an original, creative way of starting your essay using the following two methods.

Option 1: Start with an intriguing hook

Begin your essay with an unexpected statement to pique the reader’s curiosity and compel them to carefully read your essay. A mysterious introduction disarms the reader’s expectations and introduces questions that can only be answered by reading more.

Option 2: Start with vivid imagery

Illustrate a clear, detailed image to immediately transport your reader into your memory. You can start in the middle of an important scene or describe an object that conveys your essay’s theme.

A college application essay allows you to be creative in your style and tone. As you draft your essay, try to use interesting language to enliven your story and stand out .

Show, don’t tell

“Tell” in writing means to simply state a fact: “I am a basketball player.” “ Show ” in writing means to use details, examples, and vivid imagery to help the reader easily visualize your memory: “My heart races as I set up to shoot一two seconds, one second一and score a three-pointer!”

First, reflect on every detail of a specific image or scene to recall the most memorable aspects.

• What are the most prominent images?
• Are there any particular sounds, smells, or tastes associated with this memory?
• What emotion or physical feeling did you have at that time?

Be vulnerable to create an emotional response

You don’t have to share a huge secret or traumatic story, but you should dig deep to express your honest feelings, thoughts, and experiences to evoke an emotional response. Showing vulnerability demonstrates humility and maturity. However, don’t exaggerate to gain sympathy.

Use appropriate style and tone

Make sure your essay has the right style and tone by following these guidelines:

• Use a conversational yet respectful tone: less formal than academic writing, but more formal than texting your friends.
• Prioritize using “I” statements to highlight your perspective.
• Write within your vocabulary range to maintain an authentic voice.
• Write concisely, and use the active voice to keep a fast pace.
• Follow grammar rules (unless you have valid stylistic reasons for breaking them).

You should end your college essay with a deep insight or creative ending to leave the reader with a strong final impression. Your college admissions essay should avoid the following:

• Summarizing what you already wrote
• Stating your hope of being accepted to the school
• Mentioning character traits that should have been illustrated in the essay, such as “I’m a hard worker”

Here are two strategies to craft a strong conclusion.

Option 1: Full circle, sandwich structure

The full circle, or sandwich, structure concludes the essay with an image, idea, or story mentioned in the introduction. This strategy gives the reader a strong sense of closure.

In the example below, the essay concludes by returning to the “museum” metaphor that the writer opened with.

Option 2: Revealing your insight

You can use the conclusion to show the insight you gained as a result of the experiences you’ve described. Revealing your main message at the end creates suspense and keeps the takeaway at the forefront of your reader’s mind.

Revise your essay before submitting it to check its content, style, and grammar. Get feedback from no more than two or three people.

It’s normal to go through several rounds of revision, but take breaks between each editing stage.

Also check out our college essay examples to see what does and doesn’t work in an essay and the kinds of changes you can make to improve yours.

Respect the word count

Most schools specify a word count for each essay , and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit.

Remain under the specified word count limit to show you can write concisely and follow directions. However, don’t write too little, which may imply that you are unwilling or unable to write a thoughtful and developed essay.

Check your content, style, and grammar

• First, check big-picture issues of message, flow, and clarity.
• Then, check for style and tone issues.
• Finally, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

Get feedback

Get feedback from 2–3 people who know you well, have good writing skills, and are familiar with college essays.

• Teachers and guidance counselors can help you check your content, language, and tone.
• Friends and family can check for authenticity.
• An essay coach or editor has specialized knowledge of college admissions essays and can give objective expert feedback.

The checklist below helps you make sure your essay ticks all the boxes.

College admissions essay checklist

I’ve organized my essay prompts and created an essay writing schedule.

I’ve done a comprehensive brainstorm for essay topics.

I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me and reveals something different from the rest of my application.

I’ve created an outline to guide my structure.

I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of telling.

I’ve shown positive traits and values in my essay.

I’ve demonstrated self-reflection and insight in my essay.

I’ve used appropriate style and tone .

I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

I’ve revised my essay , checking my overall message, flow, clarity, and grammar.

I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Congratulations!

It looks like your essay ticks all the boxes. A second pair of eyes can help you take it to the next level – Scribbr's essay coaches can help.

Colleges want to be able to differentiate students who seem similar on paper. In the college application essay , they’re looking for a way to understand each applicant’s unique personality and experiences.

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

While timelines will differ depending on the student, plan on spending at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing the first draft of your college admissions essay , and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Don’t forget to save enough time for breaks between each writing and editing stage.

You should already begin thinking about your essay the summer before your senior year so that you have plenty of time to try out different topics and get feedback on what works.

Most college application portals specify a word count range for your essay, and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit to write a developed and thoughtful essay.

You should aim to stay under the specified word count limit to show you can follow directions and write concisely. However, don’t write too little, as it may seem like you are unwilling or unable to write a detailed and insightful narrative about yourself.

If no word count is specified, we advise keeping your essay between 400 and 600 words.

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15 Great College Essays That Worked in 2021 With Examples

 Let’s check out the list of college essay topics to choose from. 

But before that: 

We’ll have two interesting brainstorming exercises to help you find your own college essay topics

The question is; How do I know these exercises really work? Because over the years our team has worked with thousands of students, many of them of who are similar to you. 

• Have satisfactory grades and a pretty good but not extraordinary SAT score
• Who are in doubt because they don’t have excellent extracurricular activities to write about
• They know their essay could make a difference in their college application but they don’t know where to start.

Do you find yourself in the same shoes? 

What we can do is, we’ll go through step-by-step brainstorming exercises, find a topic that’s elastic, meaning a long enough topic talk, where there are lots of different parts of you, which is a feature you’ll find in most outstanding personal statements.

Great brainstorming leads to a great application. Check out an example of a student’s brainstorming exercises and the essays and applications that brainstorming led to. 

The Values Exercise

With this exercise, you can identify your core values and your ambitions by answering this question: What do I value?

Values Exercise | College Essay Brainstorming Exercise

Download a printable version of the values worksheet, here 

The Essence Objects Exercise 

This brainstorming exercise has effective ways to create a lot of content for your personal statement and add flexibility to bring your essay to life.

Besides that, it’s just fun to do and a great way to reflect.

 Have a look at this video and know what’s one of your essences objects

Essence Objects Exercise | College Essay Brainstorming Exercise

Check out the list of questions to help you with the exercise.

• What’s something you never leave home without?
• What’s a snack you crave?
• A food that reminds you of your family?
• A food that reminds you of home?
• A tradition that reminds you of home?
• What else reminds you of home?
• An object that represents your best friend?
• An object that represents your father? Your mother?
• Your grandparents, or lack thereof?
• Something you loved and lost?
• A toy you used to play with as a kid?
• Something that makes you laugh?
• A book you love? Best movie ever?
• Favorite guilty pleasure movie?
• An object that represents something abstract that you broke (a heart, a promise)?
• An object that represents a regret?
• A favorite gift you received? A favorite gift you gave?
• An object that represents a secret? (Don’t worry, this stays between us.)
• Something about you no one else knows?
• Something you stole?
• Something you found?
• Something that makes you feel safe?
• The worst thing that ever happened to you?
• The best thing?
• The logo on your imaginary business card?
• The image you’d like carved into your tombstone?
• An object that represents: a smell you love, a smell you hate, a taste you love, a taste you hate, the sweetest sound in the world?
• The most remarkable thing about science?
• Something you forgot?
• Something old? Something new? Something borrowed? Something blue?
• An accident?
• The best thing you ever found in the street?
• Best money you ever spent?
• Does your life lie? Your favorite object?
• Something from another country?
• Your favorite sentence?
• You’d cry if you lost this?
• An object that represents someone you’d like to know more about?
• Something you’ll never get rid of?
• A bad habit?
• A perfect moment?
• A time you laughed so hard you cried?
• A time you cried so hard you laughed?
• An image you’ll never forget?
• What they’d put in the museum of your life?
• The cover image on your first self-titled album?
• Three objects from your room?
• A near-death experience?
• A moment when you were so embarrassed you wanted to disappear?
• Recurring dream?
• Worst (actual) nightmare?
• When were you most afraid?
• If you had a clone, what would you have the clone do?
• First love?
• A time you were speechless?
• The moment you left childhood behind?
• A quotation you love?
• Your favorite photo?

The “Everything I want colleges to know about me.” 

How to Figure out Everything You Want Colleges to Know About You

Create a list of things you want colleges to know about you. 

• You can do this in a bullet point format or
• You can do this on a blank sheet of paper
• You can do it on a timeline 

For more detailed instructions, head here. 

College Essay Topic Examples 

Check out the list of essay topics that actually worked

Essay topic title: The Burying Grandma

They covered the precious mahogany coffin with a brown amalgam of rocks, decomposed organisms, and weeds. It was my turn to take the shovel, but I felt too ashamed to dutifully send her off when I had not properly said goodbye. I refused to throw dirt on her. I refused to let go of my grandmother, to accept a death I had not seen coming, to believe that an illness could not only interrupt but steal a beloved life. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title: The “Laptop Stickers” 

My laptop is like a passport. It is plastered with stickers all over the outside, inside, and bottom. Each sticker is a stamp, representing a place I've been, a passion I've pursued, or a community I've belonged to. These stickers make for an untraditional first impression at a meeting or presentation, but it's one I'm proud of. Let me take you on a quick tour. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title: The “Punk Rock Philosopher”

I am on Oxford Academy’s Speech and Debate Team, in both the Parliamentary Debate division and the Lincoln-Douglass debate division. I write screenplays, short stories, and opinionated blogs and am a regular contributor to my school literary magazine, The Gluestick. I have accumulated over 300 community service hours that includes work at homeless shelters, libraries, and special education youth camps. I have been evaluated by the College Board and have placed within the top percentile. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title:  The “Granda’s Kimchi” 

Every Saturday morning, I’d awaken to the smell of crushed garlic and piquant pepper. I would stumble into the kitchen to find my grandma squatting over a large silver bowl, mixing fat lips of fresh cabbages with garlic, salt, and red pepper. That was how the delectable Korean dish, kimchi, was born every weekend at my home. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title: The “Travel and Language”  

When I was very little, I caught the travel bug. It started after my grandparents first brought me to their home in France and I have now been to twenty-nine different countries. Each has given me a unique learning experience. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title: The “Dead Bird” College Essay Example 

Smeared blood, shredded feathers. Clearly, the bird was dead. But wait the slight fluctuation of its chest, the slow blinking of its shiny black eyes. No, it was alive. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title: The “I shot my brother” 

From page 54 of the maroon notebook sitting on my mahogany desk:

“Then Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is greater than I can bear. I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth and whoever finds me will kill me.” - Genesis 4:13. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title: The “Porcelain God”

Bowing down to the porcelain god, I emptied the contents of my stomach. Foaming at the mouth, I was ready to pass out. My body couldn’t stop shaking as I gasped for air, and the room started spinning. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title: The “Five Families” Essay Example 

When I was 16, I lived with the Watkins family in Wichita, Kansas. Mrs. Watkins was the coordinator of the foreign exchange student program I was enrolled in. She had a nine-year-old son named Cody. I would babysit Cody every day after school for at least two to three hours. We would play Scrabble or he would read to me from Charlotte’s Web or The Ugly Duckling. He would talk a lot about his friends and school life, and I would listen to him and ask him the meanings of certain words. He was my first friend in the New World. To read the full essay, click here

Essay topic title:  The “Happiness Spreadsheet” Essay Example

This one is Montage Essay, “Essence Object” Type

Meditation over a flaxen sunset with a friend and parmesan-topped spaghetti for dinner — “14.” Assignments piling up on my desk as a high fever keeps me sick at home — “3.” Taking a photo excursion through downtown Seattle for a Spanish project — “15.” For the past 700 days and counting, the Happiness Spreadsheet has been my digital collection for documenting numerical, descriptive, and graphical representations of my happiness. Its instructions are simple: Open the Google Sheet, enter a number between 1 and 20 that best represents my level of happiness, and write a short comment describing the day. But the practical aspect of the spreadsheet is only a piece of what it has represented in my life. To read the full essay, click here .

Essay topic title: The “food” essay example 

Another Montage Essay, “I Love/I Know” Type

I’ve spent most of my life as an anti-vegetable carboholic.  For years, processed snack foods ruled the kitchen kingdom of my household, and animal products outnumbered plant-based offerings. To read the full essay, click here . 

Essay topic title: The “Translating” College Essay Example

Montage Essay, “Skill/Superpower” Type

".miK ijniM" This is how I wrote my name until I was seven. I was a left-handed kid who wrote from right to left, which made my writing comprehensible only to myself. Only after years of practice did I become an ambidextrous writer who could translate my incomprehensible writing. As I look back on my life, I realized that this was my first act of translation.  To read the full essay, click here . 

Essay topic title: Countdown days

Day 19: I am using my school uniform as a slate to tally the days. As the ink slowly seeps through the fabric of my shirt, I begin to understand that being a conscious Arab comes with a cost.

Day 7: I come across a live stream on social media, 1,200 Palestinian political prisoners are on their seventh day of a hunger strike against the Israeli occupation. It is the first I have heard of its occurrence. I allow myself to follow the news daily through social media while regional mainstream media and our local news channels refrain from reporting any news of the strike. To read the full essay, click here .

Essay topic title: My journey in Hajj

Day 1: “Labbayka Allāhumma Labbayk. Labbayk Lā Sharīka Laka Labbayk,” we chant, sweat dripping onto the wispy sand in brutal Arabian heat, as millions of us prepare to march from the rocky desert hills of Mount Arafat to the cool, flat valleys of Muzdalifa. As we make our way into the Haram, my heart shakes. Tears rolling down my cheeks, we circumvent the Ka’ba one last time before embarking on Hajj, the compulsory pilgrimage of Islam. It became the spiritual, visceral, and linguistic journey of a lifetime. To read the full essay, click here .

Essay topic title: 12

12 is the number of my idol, Tom Brady. It’s the sum of all the letters in my name. It’s also how old I was when I started high school. In short, I skipped two grades: first and sixth. Between kindergarten and eighth grade, I attended five schools, including two different styles of homeschooling (three years at a co-op and one in my kitchen). Before skipping, I was perennially bored. To read the full essay, click here .

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1. How to Find Your Personal Statement Topic 🤔

2. values exercise 💛.

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College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

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Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

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Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now:

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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College Bound? Made of Compassion and Creativity: Meet Ethan Sawyer, College Essay Guy

Do Something Awesome; Share With A Friend Who May Benefit

Sometimes, if we are lucky enough, our paths cross with genuine people who truly want to make a difference in the world, especially for youth. When I come across someone of this nature, I make extra effort to ensure I nurture and care for the relationship. I have not recommended specific names or people on this site in the past. In the four years I’ve been running this outlet, I am proud to introduce you to my new friend and colleague, Ethan Sawyer, the College Essay Guy. He’s a very special person helping a vast number of college-bound students across the country. And, he recently told me his book, College Essay Essentials is the #1 book on college essays in the world today! Read our interview below. I’m sure you will enjoy it as much as I love his authentic and passionate work.

Ethan, how did you land in this space helping students across the country with their college essay needs?

In a roundabout way, I think my whole life has prepared me for it. I give a longer version of this story on my About page, but the short version is this: I grew up as a missionary kid, moving around a lot and needing to learn how to ask good questions. I also really loved to write (I was the kid in the corner of the party writing down what people said and turning them into poems). Then in college I studied screenwriting and moved to Los Angeles with my best friend to be a screenwriter. But I got a great job coaching students on their personal statements and found a lot of what I’d learned about screenwriting applied to college essays, so I started teaching my students screenwriting structure and it worked: they told more compelling stories and we both enjoyed the process more. As I started more deeply delving into counseling (Nonviolent Communication, Narrative Therapy), I started developing more tools and started sharing them on a blog ( CollegeEssayGuy.com ) and people really responded—counselors, students and parents started writing me notes thanking them for how a particular exercise or blog post had helped them or their students open up. So I started doing more–leading workshops, teaching online courses, and creating more resources—and it kind of evolved into my dream job. I certainly didn’t grow up thinking “I want to be the College Essay Guy” when I grow up, but now I’m really proud of the values that the name and the website represent in both the counseling community and the world at large.

Can you tell us about the importance of the college personal statement? Where does it fall against the other factors in the admissions process?

In terms of the admissions process, grades are the biggest factor (a great essay can’t make up for straight C’s if you want to get into a highly selective school), and many schools still value test scores highly. But when it comes to a student trying to differentiate him or herself among many other students with great grades and test scores, the essays can make a big difference— the difference, in some cases. On a deeper level, I believe writing a personal statement is about so much more than getting into college—it’s about taking stock of one’s life and discovering (and not just reporting on) how one’s memories and experiences have shaped who the student is today. It’s a rite of passage and, in many cases, can be an empowering, healing and really fun process.

If I asked you how to write a college personal statement, how would you describe it in steps or as a summary?

I like this question. In terms of content, I like to begin with the Essence Objects and Values Exercise, which are the two 5-10 minute exercises that open my book, College Essay Essentials . I think it’s possible to have all the content you need for a personal statement in about 15 minutes using these two exercises (really).

In terms of structure, I ask these two questions first: “Have you faced significant challenges?” and “Do you know what you want to be or do when you grow up?” The answers to those two questions map out into four types of essays (more on this in a second) and each type requires a different approach. In the book I give a step-by-step process for each type.

You share four types of student storytellers in your program offerings and classes. Can you elaborate a bit on each type of student?

• Type A: Student HAS faced significant challenges and KNOWS what s/he wants to do in the future.
• Type B: Student has NOT faced significant challenges and does NOT know what s/he wants to do in the future.
• Type C: Student HAS faced significant challenges and does NOT know what s/he wants to do in the future.
• Type D: Student has NOT faced significant challenges and does NOT know what s/he wants to do in the future.

For the Type A and Type C (challenge) essays, I recommend Narrative Structure, which connects story events in a causal way (Example: I faced X challenge, so I did Y and the impact was Z). This is the structure most American films use and (to make it really rock) depends on some sort of change, a catharsis, or a deep lesson.

But students certainly don’t need to write on a challenge.

For the Type B and D (no challenge) essays, I recommend Montage Structure, which connects story events thematically. The theme could be anything from “This essay represents the scrapbook of my life ” to “ Endodontics .”

You have a comprehensive set of video courses for students, parents, and counselors that specifically covers how to write the college personal statement. Can you tell us about your new course offering?

I work with a small number of students one-on-one each year and two years ago I was trying to figure out how to work with not only more students, but also more counselors and parents—as they’re often the ones helping students write the essays. So I created a course called “ How to Write a Personal Statement ” that’s available on-demand and replicates working with me one-on-one. Over the course of seven lessons, I walk students step-by-step through the process and offer Q&A to address specific issues.

Let’s imagine I was having coffee with you as a prospective college student; what would be the three most important tips you’d share with me about the college essay writing process?

• Don’t focus too much on the prompt for your main essay. That gets you into your head thinking what “they” (some imagined admissions reader or readers) wants as opposed to focusing on the brilliant, beautiful gifts you (the student) have to offer.
• Strive for uncommon connections. A boring essay chooses a common topic, makes common connections, and uses common language. A stand-out essay chooses an uncommon topic, makes uncommon connections and uncommon language. And remember: the more common the topic, the more uncommon the connections need to be.
• Your English teacher might say “Show, don’t tell,” but I say “Show, then tell.” The show demonstrates you’re a great writer; the tell demonstrates you’re a critical thinker. Be both.

You have an impressive suite of free resources on your site, and you also provide unique offerings for those who may not be able to afford your services. Can you tell us more about that process?

Most of my courses and resources are free or pay-what-you-can. One of my core values is access, and I want to help to students, regardless of income. [clickToTweet tweet=”Plus, a wise human once said, “No one ever went poor from giving.” I believe that.” quote=”Plus, a wise human once said, “No one ever went poor from giving.” I believe that.”]

What’s on the horizon for 2017? Do you have any new events, speeches or conferences coming up that you’d like to share with our readers?

The College Essay Guy podcast! I’ll be interviewing some of the most well-known and well-respected folks in the world of admissions. I can’t be the expert on everything, but I’m great at asking questions (it’s kinda’ my job) and creating useful resources, so I’ll be turning those interviews into new (fun) guides. I’m also creating a Counselor Workshop in a Box so any counselor can lead a great in-person workshop, whether for one student or 400 students, 1-hr or over the course of several days. Finally, I’m doing a three-day workshop for counselors in the Santa Cruz mountains. I’m excited to dive deep with them and explore what it means to be a counselor (and a human).

Finally, what do find most fulfilling about your role as the College Essay Guy?

I think I like that people feel really comfortable emailing me. I get all sorts of messages from all over the world with people saying everything from “Keep up the great work!” to “I’m stuck” to “I feel like we’re soul mates.” I think people feel they can reach out to me and tell me what they’re thinking. And they can.

Ethan’s Bio

Ethan Sawyer is a nationally recognized college essay expert and sought-after speaker. Each year he helps thousands of students and counselors through his online courses, workshops, articles, products, and books, and works privately with a small number of students. His book, College Essay Essentials (released July 2016), is currently the #1 bestselling book worldwide on the college essay.

Raised in Spain, Ecuador, and Colombia, Ethan has studied at seventeen different schools and has worked as a teacher, curriculum writer, voice actor, motivational speaker, community organizer, and truck driver. He is a certified Myers-Briggs® specialist, and his type (ENFJ) will tell you that he will show up on time, that he’ll be excited to meet you, and that, more than anything, he is committed to—and an expert in—helping you realize your potential. 

A graduate of Northwestern University, Ethan holds an MFA from UC Irvine and two counseling certificates. He lives in Los Angeles with his beautiful wife, Veronica, and their amazing daughter, Zola.

You can reach Ethan at the following email: [email protected] and follow him on all of his social media outlets  at the following:

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Determining a College Essay Topic: Reflection Exercises to Try

In the following article,  CollegeAdvisor.com  Admissions Expert  Kim Phan  (Harvard  ‘21)  shares tips on how to choose your college essay topic. For more guidance on the college applications process in general,  sign up for a monthly plan to work with an admissions coach 1-on-1.

Selecting a topic to write about for your college application essay can seem daunting at first. Where do you start? At some moments, you may be asking yourself, “There are so many things I could write about, which should I choose?”   In the next moment, you may be thinking, “I have absolutely nothing to write about!”

The following exercises are designed to help you brainstorm college essay ideas and find topics that resonate for you. By practicing mindfulness and reflection, you can better understand what parts of your present, past, and future matter the most to you.

Determining a College Essay Topic — Strategy #1: Daily Journaling

Daily journaling  can help you gain more awareness of your thoughts while also creating a record of your ideas. Over time, you can identify trends and common threads in your thinking that you may want to explore in an essay. To practice daily journaling, set aside at least five minutes every day to ask yourself the following questions:

• How do you feel today?
• What was one thing that happened today that made you feel happy? Proud? Excited?
• What is one thing you could have done differently today?
• Who have you interacted with today? In what capacity and circumstances?
• What was one new thing that you learned today?

Strategy #2: Free-Writing

Journaling is not for everyone. If you struggle to maintain a journaling routine,  free-writing  can allow you to reflect and generate ideas for a college essay. Instead of—or in addition to—daily journaling, set aside a few moments every week to sit down and think about the questions below. Try to give yourself at least an hour to really contemplate and write down all of your thoughts, uninhibited by any worry about how the sentences sound, their grammatical correctness, or whether or not you’re making sense.

Here are three sets of broad prompts that you might find helpful. Remember, these are all exercises to get the juices flowing and bring to light some potential topics. Note that the first set of these questions prompt you to both reflect on the past and think about how your past experiences have influenced your thoughts and perspectives in the present moment.

• What challenges have you overcome in your life?
• What’s your favorite memory? Least favorite memory?
• Who has been or is currently your greatest role model?
• What did you want to be (as a profession) when you were a young child? How did that change?
• What’s a new skill you’ve learned recently, either personally or professionally?
• What has allowed you to accomplish as much as you have in life?
• Write a letter to a childhood friend.
• What was your favorite pastime as a child? How did you play and have fun?
• What is your proudest accomplishment?
• Who has impacted your life the most? How has your relationship with this person changed over time?

This second set of questions prompts you to think more deeply about yourself in the present. These can operate as a gateway to considering your current interests, preferences, perspectives, and characteristics, and how they may have developed throughout your life.

• If you could have dinner with anyone–dead or alive–who would it be and what would you ask them?
• If someone else described you, what do you think they would say?
• If you had five minutes to address the whole world, what would you say?
• What is something you can do for hours and still feel engaged and interested?
• How do you handle conflict?
• What are the greatest characteristics that you believe you bring into the world?
• If you could teach a class on any topic, what topic would you choose?
• What are you most grateful for in your life?
• What do you believe is the most important quality in a friend?
• What/who are your favorite artists, genres, or influencers?

Finally, this third set of questions prompts you to think about the future. This can particularly set your mind to consider the role you would like college to play in your life and how you want to grow and change within your undergraduate career.

• Where do you see yourself five years from now? Ten years?
• What are your biggest challenges right now and how do you want to overcome them?
• If you could be or do anything you wanted, what would you be or do?
• When you’re telling your grandkids about your life, what do you want to tell them about?
• What would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow?

Strategy #3: Investigating Your Environment and Surroundings

Apart from journaling, simply  investigating your environment and surroundings  can inspire you to write a meaningful essay.

Try the following exercise: Take a walk around your house and look at old documents or items in various spaces, such as your childhood bedroom or your garage. What memories do these objects hold, and what significance do they have in your life?

Oftentimes, the artifacts that exist immediately around us can act as reminders of stories in the past and sources of inspiration. A set of used crayons, for instance, might set you off onto memory lane and prompt recollections about your love for drawing as a child, how you used to spend weekday afternoons doodling in the kitchen with your grandmother, or how you often colored your own personalized cards to give to friends and family during the holidays.

Strategy #4: Practice Mindfulness

Finally, a great way to brainstorm potential essay topics is to  practice mindfulness .

If you don’t have experience with meditation or are unsure of what mindfulness consists of, try this: For a few moments throughout your day, unplug from all of your electronic devices and simply allow yourself to be with your own thoughts. Perhaps you just sit in your chair for five silent minutes or go on a ten minute walk without any stimuli.

Throughout this time, be vigilant of and focus your attention towards your own thoughts. For instance, if you’re on your walk around the neighborhood, take notice of how you perceive your surroundings: What do you see? What stands out to you in your environment or about your thoughts in response to your environment? What is your attention drawn to and what might these observations reveal about your personality, interests, or values?

Our daily lives can give us great insight into ourselves and what matters to us while also allowing us to reflect upon how our past experiences have shaped how we see the world in the present. Take a moment to be vigilant about the thoughts that enter your head. You may find that some interesting patterns arise.

Determining a College Essay Topic: Final Thoughts

Remember, the essay brainstorming process looks different for everyone. Some processes are more effective for one person than for another. So, the next time you feel the need for ideas or inspiration, try out some of these exercises! They’ll get your mind flowing and might point you in directions you don’t expect.

This informational essay was written by  Kim Phan , Harvard University ‘21. If you want to get help with your college applications from Kim or other  CollegeAdvisor.com  Admis sions Experts ,  register with CollegeAdvisor.com today.

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