example ap lang essay prompt

Crafting an Impressive Argumentative Essay for AP Lang

Writing an argumentative essay for AP Language and Composition requires a strategic approach to effectively convey your perspective. Here's a guide to crafting an impressive argumentative essay:

1. Understand the Prompt:

   - Tip: Carefully read and analyze the prompt. Identify the key elements, including the task you are asked to perform and any specific requirements or constraints.

2. Develop a Clear Thesis Statement:

   - Tip: Formulate a concise and focused thesis statement that clearly states your argument or position. This statement should guide the reader on what to expect in your essay.

3. Identify Your Audience:

   - Tip: Consider your target audience and tailor your language and arguments accordingly. Understanding your audience helps you establish a connection and effectively convey your message.

4. Organize Your Essay Effectively:

   - Tip: Structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure a logical flow of ideas, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.

5. Provide Context and Background:

   - Tip: Begin with a brief introduction that provides context for your argument. Clearly state the issue at hand and offer background information to help readers understand the significance of your argument.

6. Present a Strong Claim:

   - Tip: Clearly articulate your main claim or argument. This should be a debatable statement that forms the core of your essay. Avoid vague or overly broad claims.

7. Support Your Argument with Evidence:

   - Tip: Use relevant and compelling evidence to support your claims. This can include facts, statistics, examples, anecdotes, or quotations. Ensure that your evidence is credible and directly contributes to your argument.

8. Address Counterarguments:

   - Tip: Acknowledge potential counterarguments and address them in your essay. This demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the issue and strengthens your overall argument.

9. Use Persuasive Language:

    - Tip: Choose language that is persuasive and impactful. Utilize rhetorical devices, vivid imagery, and compelling language to engage your readers and convey the urgency or importance of your argument.

10. Craft Well-Reasoned Body Paragraphs:

    - Tip: Dedicate separate paragraphs to different aspects of your argument. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence, supporting evidence, and a concise explanation of how the evidence relates to your thesis.

11. Ensure Cohesive Transitions:

    - Tip: Use transitional phrases and sentences to ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs. This enhances the coherence of your essay and guides readers through your line of reasoning.

12. Conclude Effectively:

    - Tip: Summarize your main points in the conclusion and restate the significance of your argument. Avoid introducing new information in the conclusion. End with a strong closing statement that leaves a lasting impression.

13. Revise and Edit:

    - Tip: Set aside time for revision and editing. Review your essay for clarity, coherence, and grammatical accuracy. Ensure that your argument is compelling and well-supported.

14. Seek Feedback:

    - Tip: If possible, seek feedback from peers, teachers, or mentors. External perspectives can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement.

15. Stay Focused on the Argument:

    - Tip: Throughout the essay, stay focused on your central argument. Avoid unnecessary tangents or diverging from the main point. Every part of your essay should contribute to strengthening your overall argument.

Crafting an impressive argumentative essay for AP Language and Composition involves a combination of persuasive writing techniques, solid evidence, and effective organization. By following these tips, you can create a compelling essay that showcases your ability to engage in sophisticated argumentation and rhetorical analysis.

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Advanced Placement (AP)

If you're planning to take the AP Language (or AP Lang) exam , you might already know that 55% of your overall exam score will be based on three essays. The first of the three essays you'll have to write on the AP Language exam is called the "synthesis essay." If you want to earn full points on this portion of the AP Lang Exam, you need to know what a synthesis essay is and what skills are assessed by the AP Lang synthesis essay.

In this article, we'll explain the different aspects of the AP Lang synthesis essay, including what skills you need to demonstrate in your synthesis essay response in order to achieve a good score. We'll also give you a full breakdown of a real AP Lang Synthesis Essay prompt, provide an analysis of an AP Lang synthesis essay example, and give you four tips for how to write a synthesis essay.

Let's get started by taking a closer look at how the AP Lang synthesis essay works!

Synthesis Essay AP Lang: What It Is and How It Works

The AP Lang synthesis essay is the first of three essays included in the Free Response section of the AP Lang exam.

The AP Lang synthesis essay portion of the Free Response section lasts for one hour total . This hour consists of a recommended 15 minute reading period and a 40 minute writing period. Keep in mind that these time allotments are merely recommendations, and that exam takers can parse out the allotted 60 minutes to complete the synthesis essay however they choose.

Now, here's what the structure of the AP Lang synthesis essay looks like. The exam presents six to seven sources that are organized around a specific topic (like alternative energy or eminent domain, which are both past synthesis exam topics).

Of these six to seven sources, at least two are visual , including at least one quantitative source (like a graph or pie chart, for example). The remaining four to five sources are print text-based, and each one contains approximately 500 words.

In addition to six to seven sources, the AP Lang exam provides a written prompt that consists of three paragraphs. The prompt will briefly explain the essay topic, then present a claim that students will respond to in an essay that synthesizes material from at least three of the sources provided.

Here's an example prompt provided by the College Board:

Directions : The following prompt is based on the accompanying six sources.

This question requires you to integrate a variety of sources into a coherent, well-written essay. Refer to the sources to support your position; avoid mere paraphrase or summary. Your argument should be central; the sources should support this argument .

Remember to attribute both direct and indirect citations.

Introduction

Television has been influential in United States presidential elections since the 1960's. But just what is this influence, and how has it affected who is elected? Has it made elections fairer and more accessible, or has it moved candidates from pursuing issues to pursuing image?

Read the following sources (including any introductory information) carefully. Then, in an essay that synthesizes at least three of the sources for support, take a position that defends, challenges, or qualifies the claim that television has had a positive impact on presidential elections.

Refer to the sources as Source A, Source B, etc.; titles are included for your convenience.

Source A (Campbell) Source B (Hart and Triece) Source C (Menand) Source D (Chart) Source E (Ranney) Source F (Koppel)

Like we mentioned earlier, this prompt gives you a topic — which it briefly explains — then asks you to take a position. In this case, you'll have to choose a stance on whether television has positively or negatively affected U.S. elections. You're also given six sources to evaluate and use in your response. Now that you have everything you need, now your job is to write an amazing synthesis essay.

But what does "synthesize" mean, exactly? According to the CollegeBoard, when an essay prompt asks you to synthesize, it means that you should "combine different perspectives from sources to form a support of a coherent position" in writing. In other words, a synthesis essay asks you to state your claim on a topic, then highlight the relationships between several sources that support your claim on that topic. Additionally, you'll need to cite specific evidence from your sources to prove your point.

The synthesis essay counts for six of the total points on the AP Lang exam . Students can receive 0-1 points for writing a thesis statement in the essay, 0-4 based on incorporation of evidence and commentary, and 0-1 points based on sophistication of thought and demonstrated complex understanding of the topic.

You'll be evaluated based on how effectively you do the following in your AP Lang synthesis essay:

Write a thesis that responds to the exam prompt with a defensible position

Provide specific evidence that to support all claims in your line of reasoning from at least three of the sources provided, and clearly and consistently explain how the evidence you include supports your line of reasoning

Demonstrate sophistication of thought by either crafting a thoughtful argument, situating the argument in a broader context, explaining the limitations of an argument

Make rhetorical choices that strengthen your argument and/or employ a vivid and persuasive style throughout your essay.

If your synthesis essay meets the criteria above, then there's a good chance you'll score well on this portion of the AP Lang exam!

If you're looking for even more information on scoring, the College Board has posted the AP Lang Free Response grading rubric on its website. ( You can find it here. ) We recommend taking a close look at it since it includes additional details about the synthesis essay scoring.

Don't be intimidated...we're going to teach you how to break down even the hardest AP synthesis essay prompt.

Full Breakdown of a Real AP Lang Synthesis Essay Prompt

In this section, we'll teach you how to analyze and respond to a synthesis essay prompt in five easy steps, including suggested time frames for each step of the process.

Step 1: Analyze the Prompt

The very first thing to do when the clock starts running is read and analyze the prompt. To demonstrate how to do this, we'll look at the sample AP Lang synthesis essay prompt below. This prompt comes straight from the 2018 AP Lang exam:

Eminent domain is the power governments have to acquire property from private owners for public use. The rationale behind eminent domain is that governments have greater legal authority over lands within their dominion than do private owners. Eminent domain has been instituted in one way or another throughout the world for hundreds of years.

Carefully read the following six sources, including the introductory information for each source. Then synthesize material from at least three of the sources and incorporate it into a coherent, well-developed essay that defends, challenges, or qualifies the notion that eminent domain is productive and beneficial.

Your argument should be the focus of your essay. Use the sources to develop your argument and explain the reasoning for it. Avoid merely summarizing the sources. Indicate clearly which sources you are drawing from, whether through direct quotation, paraphrase, or summary. You may cite the sources as Source A, Source B, etc., or by using the descriptions in parentheses.

On first read, you might be nervous about how to answer this prompt...especially if you don't know what eminent domain is! But if you break the prompt down into chunks, you'll be able to figure out what the prompt is asking you to do in no time flat.

To get a full understanding of what this prompt wants you to do, you need to identify the most important details in this prompt, paragraph by paragraph. Here's what each paragraph is asking you to do:

• Paragraph 1: The prompt presents and briefly explains the topic that you'll be writing your synthesis essay about. That topic is the concept of eminent domain.
• Paragraph 2: The prompt presents a specific claim about the concept of eminent domain in this paragraph: Eminent domain is productive and beneficial. This paragraph instructs you to decide whether you want to defend, challenge, or qualify that claim in your synthesis essay , and use material from at least three of the sources provided in order to do so.
• Paragraph 3: In the last paragraph of the prompt, the exam gives you clear instructions about how to approach writing your synthesis essay . First, make your argument the focus of the essay. Second, use material from at least three of the sources to develop and explain your argument. Third, provide commentary on the material you include, and provide proper citations when you incorporate quotations, paraphrases, or summaries from the sources provided.

So basically, you'll have to agree with, disagree with, or qualify the claim stated in the prompt, then use at least three sources substantiate your answer. Since you probably don't know much about eminent domain, you'll probably decide on your position after you read the provided sources.

To make good use of your time on the exam, you should spend around 2 minutes reading the prompt and making note of what it's asking you to do. That will leave you plenty of time to read the sources provided, which is the next step to writing a synthesis essay.

Step 2: Read the Sources Carefully

After you closely read the prompt and make note of the most important details, you need to read all of the sources provided. It's tempting to skip one or two sources to save time--but we recommend you don't do this. That's because you'll need a thorough understanding of the topic before you can accurately address the prompt!

For the sample exam prompt included above, there are six sources provided. We're not going to include all of the sources in this article, but you can view the six sources from this question on the 2018 AP Lang exam here . The sources include five print-text sources and one visual source, which is a cartoon.

As you read the sources, it's important to read quickly and carefully. Don't rush! Keep your pencil in hand to quickly mark important passages that you might want to use as evidence in your synthesis. While you're reading the sources and marking passages, you want to think about how the information you're reading influences your stance on the issue (in this case, eminent domain).

When you finish reading, take a few seconds to summarize, in a phrase or sentence, whether the source defends, challenges, or qualifies whether eminent domain is beneficial (which is the claim in the prompt) . Though it might not feel like you have time for this, it's important to give yourself these notes about each source so you know how you can use each one as evidence in your essay.

Here's what we mean: say you want to challenge the idea that eminent domain is useful. If you've jotted down notes about each source and what it's saying, it will be easier for you to pull the relevant information into your outline and your essay.

So how much time should you spend reading the provided sources? The AP Lang exam recommends taking 15 minutes to read the sources . If you spend around two of those minutes reading and breaking down the essay prompt, it makes sense to spend the remaining 13 minutes reading and annotating the sources.

If you finish reading and annotating early, you can always move on to drafting your synthesis essay. But make sure you're taking your time and reading carefully! It's better to use a little extra time reading and understanding the sources now so that you don't have to go back and re-read the sources later.

A strong thesis will do a lot of heavy lifting in your essay. (See what we did there?)

Step 3: Write a Strong Thesis Statement

After you've analyzed the prompt and thoroughly read the sources, the next thing you need to do in order to write a good synthesis essay is write a strong thesis statement .

The great news about writing a thesis statement for this synthesis essay is that you have all the tools you need to do it at your fingertips. All you have to do in order to write your thesis statement is decide what your stance is in relationship to the topic provided.

In the example prompt provided earlier, you're essentially given three choices for how to frame your thesis statement: you can either defend, challenge, or qualify a claim that's been provided by the prompt, that eminent domain is productive and beneficial . Here's what that means for each option:

If you choose to defend the claim, your job will be to prove that the claim is correct . In this case, you'll have to show that eminent domain is a good thing.

If you choose to challenge the claim, you'll argue that the claim is incorrect. In other words, you'll argue that eminent domain isn't productive or beneficial.

If you choose to qualify, that means you'll agree with part of the claim, but disagree with another part of the claim. For instance, you may argue that eminent domain can be a productive tool for governments, but it's not beneficial for property owners. Or maybe you argue that eminent domain is useful in certain circumstances, but not in others.

When you decide whether you want your synthesis essay to defend, challenge, or qualify that claim, you need to convey that stance clearly in your thesis statement. You want to avoid simply restating the claim provided in the prompt, summarizing the issue without making a coherent claim, or writing a thesis that doesn't respond to the prompt.

Here's an example of a thesis statement that received full points on the eminent domain synthesis essay:

Although eminent domain can be misused to benefit private interests at the expense of citizens, it is a vital tool of any government that intends to have any influence on the land it governs beyond that of written law.

This thesis statement received full points because it states a defensible position and establishes a line of reasoning on the issue of eminent domain. It states the author's position (that some parts of eminent domain are good, but others are bad), then goes on to explain why the author thinks that (it's good because it allows the government to do its job, but it's bad because the government can misuse its power.)

Because this example thesis statement states a defensible position and establishes a line of reasoning, it can be elaborated upon in the body of the essay through sub-claims, supporting evidence, and commentary. And a solid argument is key to getting a six on your synthesis essay for AP Lang!

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Step 4: Create a Bare-Bones Essay Outline

Once you've got your thesis statement drafted, you have the foundation you need to develop a bare bones outline for your synthesis essay. Developing an outline might seem like it's a waste of your precious time, but if you develop your outline well, it will actually save you time when you start writing your essay.

With that in mind, we recommend spending 5 to 10 minutes outlining your synthesis essay . If you use a bare-bones outline like the one below, labeling each piece of content that you need to include in your essay draft, you should be able to develop out the most important pieces of the synthesis before you even draft the actual essay.

To help you see how this can work on test day, we've created a sample outline for you. You can even memorize this outline to help you out on test day! In the outline below, you'll find places to fill in a thesis statement, body paragraph topic sentences, evidence from the sources provided, and commentary :

• Present the context surrounding the essay topic in a couple of sentences (this is a good place to use what you learned about the major opinions or controversies about the topic from reading your sources).
• Write a straightforward, clear, and concise thesis statement that presents your stance on the topic
• Topic sentence presenting first supporting point or claim
• Evidence #1
• Commentary on Evidence #1
• Evidence #2 (if needed)
• Commentary on Evidence #2 (if needed)
• Topic sentence presenting second supporting point or claim
• Topic sentence presenting three supporting point or claim
• Sums up the main line of reasoning that you developed and defended throughout the essay
• Reiterates the thesis statement

Taking the time to develop these crucial pieces of the synthesis in a bare-bones outline will give you a map for your final essay. Once you have a map, writing the essay will be much easier.

Step 5: Draft Your Essay Response

The great thing about taking a few minutes to develop an outline is that you can develop it out into your essay draft. After you take about 5 to 10 minutes to outline your synthesis essay, you can use the remaining 30 to 35 minutes to draft your essay and review it.

Since you'll outline your essay before you start drafting, writing the essay should be pretty straightforward. You'll already know how many paragraphs you're going to write, what the topic of each paragraph will be, and what quotations, paraphrases, or summaries you're going to include in each paragraph from the sources provided. You'll just have to fill in one of the most important parts of your synthesis—your commentary.

Commentaries are your explanation of why your evidence supports the argument you've outlined in your thesis. Your commentary is where you actually make your argument, which is why it's such a critical part of your synthesis essay.

When thinking about what to say in your commentary, remember one thing the AP Lang synthesis essay prompt specifies: don't just summarize the sources. Instead, as you provide commentary on the evidence you incorporate, you need to explain how that evidence supports or undermines your thesis statement . You should include commentary that offers a thoughtful or novel perspective on the evidence from your sources to develop your argument.

One very important thing to remember as you draft out your essay is to cite your sources. The AP Lang exam synthesis essay prompt indicates that you can use generic labels for the sources provided (e.g. "Source 1," "Source 2," "Source 3," etc.). The exam prompt will indicate which label corresponds with which source, so you'll need to make sure you pay attention and cite sources accurately. You can cite your sources in the sentence where you introduce a quote, summary, or paraphrase, or you can use a parenthetical citation. Citing your sources affects your score on the synthesis essay, so remembering to do this is important.

Keep reading for a real-life example of a great AP synthesis essay response!

Real-Life AP Synthesis Essay Example and Analysis

If you're still wondering how to write a synthesis essay, examples of real essays from past AP Lang exams can make things clearer. These real-life student AP synthesis essay responses can be great for helping you understand how to write a synthesis essay that will knock the graders' socks off .

While there are multiple essay examples online, we've chosen one to take a closer look at. We're going to give you a brief analysis of one of these example student synthesis essays from the 2019 AP Lang Exam below!

Example Synthesis Essay AP Lang Response

To get started, let's look at the official prompt for the 2019 synthesis essay:

In response to our society's increasing demand for energy, large-scale wind power has drawn attention from governments and consumers as a potential alternative to traditional materials that fuel our power grids, such as coal, oil, natural gas, water, or even newer sources such as nuclear or solar power. Yet the establishment of large-scale, commercial-grade wind farms is often the subject of controversy for a variety of reasons.

Carefully read the six sources, found on the AP English Language and Composition 2019 Exam (Question 1), including the introductory information for each source. Write an essay that synthesizes material from at least three of the sources and develops your position on the most important factors that an individual or agency should consider when deciding whether to establish a wind farm.

Source A (photo) Source B (Layton) Source C (Seltenrich) Source D (Brown) Source E (Rule) Source F (Molla)

In your response you should do the following:

• Respond to the prompt with a thesis presents a defensible position.
• Select and use evidence from at least 3 of the provided sources to support your line of reasoning. Indicate clearly the sources used through direct quotation, paraphrase, or summary. Sources may be cited as Source A, Source B, etc., or by using the description in parentheses.
• Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
• Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.

Now that you know exactly what the prompt asked students to do on the 2019 AP Lang synthesis essay, here's an AP Lang synthesis essay example, written by a real student on the AP Lang exam in 2019:

[1] The situation has been known for years, and still very little is being done: alternative power is the only way to reliably power the changing world. The draw of power coming from industry and private life is overwhelming current sources of non-renewable power, and with dwindling supplies of fossil fuels, it is merely a matter of time before coal and gas fuel plants are no longer in operation. So one viable alternative is wind power. But as with all things, there are pros and cons. The main factors for power companies to consider when building wind farms are environmental boon, aesthetic, and economic factors.

[2] The environmental benefits of using wind power are well-known and proven. Wind power is, as qualified by Source B, undeniably clean and renewable. From their production requiring very little in the way of dangerous materials to their lack of fuel, besides that which occurs naturally, wind power is by far one of the least environmentally impactful sources of power available. In addition, wind power by way of gearbox and advanced blade materials, has the highest percentage of energy retention. According to Source F, wind power retains 1,164% of the energy put into the system – meaning that it increases the energy converted from fuel (wind) to electricity 10 times! No other method of electricity production is even half that efficient. The efficiency and clean nature of wind power are important to consider, especially because they contribute back to power companies economically.

[3] Economically, wind power is both a boon and a bone to electric companies and other users. For consumers, wind power is very cheap, leading to lower bills than from any other source. Consumers also get an indirect reimbursement by way of taxes (Source D). In one Texan town, McCamey, tax revenue increased 30% from a wind farm being erected in the town. This helps to finance improvements to the town. But, there is no doubt that wind power is also hurting the power companies. Although, as renewable power goes, wind is incredibly cheap, it is still significantly more expensive than fossil fuels. So, while it is helping to cut down on emissions, it costs electric companies more than traditional fossil fuel plants. While the general economic trend is positive, there are some setbacks which must be overcome before wind power can take over as truly more effective than fossil fuels.

[4] Aesthetics may be the greatest setback for power companies. Although there may be significant economic and environmental benefit to wind power, people will always fight to preserve pure, unspoiled land. Unfortunately, not much can be done to improve the visual aesthetics of the turbines. White paint is the most common choice because it "[is] associated with cleanliness." (Source E). But, this can make it stand out like a sore thumb, and make the gargantuan machines seem more out of place. The site can also not be altered because it affects generating capacity. Sound is almost worse of a concern because it interrupts personal productivity by interrupting people's sleep patterns. One thing for power companies to consider is working with turbine manufacturing to make the machines less aesthetically impactful, so as to garner greater public support.

[5] As with most things, wind power has no easy answer. It is the responsibility of the companies building them to weigh the benefits and the consequences. But, by balancing economics, efficiency, and aesthetics, power companies can create a solution which balances human impact with environmental preservation.

And that's an entire AP Lang synthesis essay example, written in response to a real AP Lang exam prompt! It's important to remember AP Lang exam synthesis essay prompts are always similarly structured and worded, and students often respond in around the same number of paragraphs as what you see in the example essay response above.

Next, let's analyze this example essay and talk about what it does effectively, where it could be improved upon, and what score past exam scorers awarded it.

To get started on an analysis of the sample synthesis essay, let's look at the scoring commentary provided by the College Board:

• For development of thesis, the essay received 1 out of 1 possible points
• For evidence and commentary, the essay received 4 out of 4 possible points
• For sophistication of thought, the essay received 0 out of 1 possible points.

This means that the final score for this example essay was a 5 out of 6 possible points . Let's look more closely at the content of the example essay to figure out why it received this score breakdown.

Thesis Development

The thesis statement is one of the three main categories that is taken into consideration when you're awarded points on this portion of the exam. This sample essay received 1 out of 1 total points.

Now, here's why: the thesis statement clearly and concisely conveys a position on the topic presented in the prompt--alternative energy and wind power--and defines the most important factors that power companies should consider when deciding whether to establish a wind farm.

Evidence and Commentary

The second key category taken into consideration when synthesis exams are evaluated is incorporation of evidence and commentary. This sample received 4 out of 4 possible points for this portion of the synthesis essay. At bare minimum, this sample essay meets the requirement mentioned in the prompt that the writer incorporate evidence from at least three of the sources provided.

On top of that, the writer does a good job of connecting the incorporated evidence back to the claim made in the thesis statement through effective commentary. The commentary in this sample essay is effective because it goes beyond just summarizing what the provided sources say. Instead, it explains and analyzes the evidence presented in the selected sources and connects them back to supporting points the writer makes in each body paragraph.

Finally, the writer of the essay also received points for evidence and commentary because the writer developed and supported a consistent line of reasoning throughout the essay . This line of reasoning is summed up in the fourth paragraph in the following sentence: "One thing for power companies to consider is working with turbine manufacturing to make the machines less aesthetically impactful, so as to garner greater public support."

Because the writer did a good job consistently developing their argument and incorporating evidence, they received full marks in this category. So far, so good!

Sophistication of Thought

Now, we know that this essay received a score of 5 out of 6 total points, and the place where the writer lost a point was on the basis of sophistication of thought, for which the writer received 0 out of 1 points. That's because this sample essay makes several generalizations and vague claims where it could have instead made specific claims that support a more balanced argument.

For example, in the following sentence from the 5th paragraph of the sample essay, the writer misses the opportunity to state specific possibilities that power companies should consider for wind energy . Instead, the writer is ambiguous and non-committal, saying, "As with most things, wind power has no easy answer. It is the responsibility of the companies building them to weigh the benefits and consequences."

If the writer of this essay was interested in trying to get that 6th point on the synthesis essay response, they could consider making more specific claims. For instance, they could state the specific benefits and consequences power companies should consider when deciding whether to establish a wind farm. These could include things like environmental impacts, economic impacts, or even population density!

Despite losing one point in the last category, this example synthesis essay is a strong one. It's well-developed, thoughtfully written, and advances an argument on the exam topic using evidence and support throughout.

4 Tips for How to Write a Synthesis Essay

AP Lang is a timed exam, so you have to pick and choose what you want to focus on in the limited time you're given to write the synthesis essay. Keep reading to get our expert advice on what you should focus on during your exam.

Tip 1: Read the Prompt First

It may sound obvious, but when you're pressed for time, it's easy to get flustered. Just remember: when it comes time to write the synthesis essay, read the prompt first !

Why is it so important to read the prompt before you read the sources? Because when you're aware of what kind of question you're trying to answer, you'll be able to read the sources more strategically. The prompt will help give you a sense of what claims, points, facts, or opinions to be looking for as you read the sources.

Reading the sources without having read the prompt first is kind of like trying to drive while wearing a blindfold: you can probably do it, but it's likely not going to end well!

Tip 2: Make Notes While You Read

During the 15-minute reading period at the beginning of the synthesis essay, you'll be reading through the sources as quickly as you can. After all, you're probably anxious to start writing!

While it's definitely important to make good use of your time, it's also important to read closely enough that you understand your sources. Careful reading will allow you to identify parts of the sources that will help you support your thesis statement in your essay, too.

As you read the sources, consider marking helpful passages with a star or check mark in the margins of the exam so you know which parts of the text to quickly re-read as you form your synthesis essay. You might also consider summing up the key points or position of each source in a sentence or a few words when you finish reading each source during the reading period. Doing so will help you know where each source stands on the topic given and help you pick the three (or more!) that will bolster your synthesis argument.

Tip 3: Start With the Thesis Statement

If you don't start your synthesis essay with a strong thesis statement, it's going to be tough to write an effective synthesis essay. As soon as you finish reading and annotating the provided sources, the thing you want to do next is write a strong thesis statement.

According to the CollegeBoard grading guidelines for the AP Lang synthesis essay, a strong thesis statement will respond to the prompt— not restate or rephrase the prompt. A good thesis will take a clear, defensible position on the topic presented in the prompt and the sources.

In other words, to write a solid thesis statement to guide the rest of your synthesis essay, you need to think about your position on the topic at hand and then make a claim about the topic based on your position. This position will either be defending, challenging, or qualifying the claim made in the essay's prompt.

The defensible position that you establish in your thesis statement will guide your argument in the rest of the essay, so it's important to do this first. Once you have a strong thesis statement, you can begin outlining your essay.

Tip 4: Focus on Your Commentary

Writing thoughtful, original commentary that explains your argument and your sources is important. In fact, doing this well will earn you four points (out of a total of six)!

AP Lang provides six to seven sources for you on the exam, and you'll be expected to incorporate quotations, paraphrases, or summaries from at least three of those sources into your synthesis essay and interpret that evidence for the reader.

While incorporating evidence is very important, in order to get the extra point for "sophistication of thought" on the synthesis essay, it's important to spend more time thinking about your commentary on the evidence you choose to incorporate. The commentary is your chance to show original thinking, strong rhetorical skills, and clearly explain how the evidence you've included supports the stance you laid out in your thesis statement.

To earn the 6th possible point on the synthesis essay, make sure your commentary demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the source material, explains this nuanced understanding, and places the evidence incorporated from the sources in conversation with each other. To do this, make sure you're avoiding vague language. Be specific when you can, and always tie your commentary back to your thesis!

What's Next?

There's a lot more to the AP Language exam than just the synthesis essay. Be sure to check out our expert guide to the entire exam , then learn more about the tricky multiple choice section .

Is the AP Lang exam hard...or is it easy? See how it stacks up to other AP tests on our list of the hardest AP exams .

Did you know there are technically two English AP exams? You can learn more about the second English AP test, the AP Literature exam, in this article . And if you're confused about whether you should take the AP Lang or AP Lit test , we can help you make that decision, too.

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Ashley Sufflé Robinson has a Ph.D. in 19th Century English Literature. As a content writer for PrepScholar, Ashley is passionate about giving college-bound students the in-depth information they need to get into the school of their dreams.

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How to Write the AP Lang Rhetorical Essay

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• AP Lang Rhetorical Essay Example

How Will AP Scores Affect College Chances?

The AP English Language Exam is one of the most common AP exams you can take. However, the average score on the exam in 2020 was a 2.96 out of 5. While this may seem a bit low, it is important to note that over 550,000 students take the exam annually. With some preparation and knowing how to study, it is totally possible to do well on this AP exam.

The AP Lang Rhetorical Essay is one section of the AP English Language Exam. The exam itself is 3 hours and 15 minutes long, and is broken into two sections. The first part of the exam is a 60 minute, 45-question multiple-choice section. The questions on this part of the exam will test your ability to read a passage and then interpret its meaning, style, and overall themes. After the multiple-choice section, there is a section lasting 2 hours and 15 minutes with three “free response” essays. This includes the synthesis essay, the rhetorical analysis essay, and the argument essay. 

• In the synthesis essay , you will have to develop an argument using pieces of evidence provided to you. 
• The argumentative essay will have you pick a side in a debate and argue for or against it.
• The rhetorical essay requires that you discuss how an author’s written passage contributes to a greater meaning or theme. 

The rhetorical essay is perhaps the most unique of all AP Lang exam essays because it requires the test taker to analyze and interpret the deeper meanings of the passage and connect them to the author’s writing style and writing syntax in only 40 minutes. This essay can be the trickiest because it requires you to have knowledge of rhetorical strategies and then apply them to a passage you’ve never seen before.

1. Outline Your Essay Before Writing

One of the most important parts of the AP Lang essays is structuring your essay so that it makes sense to the reader. This is just as important as having good content. For this essay in particular, you’ll want to read the passage first and write a brief outline of your points before you begin the essay. This is because you will want to write the essay using the passage chronologically, which will be discussed in detail below.

2. Understand Rhetorical Strategies 

If you feel like you don’t know where to start as you prepare to study for the rhetorical essay portion of the exam, you aren’t alone. It is imperative that you have a grasp on what rhetorical strategies are and how you can use them in your essay. One definition of rhetoric is “language carefully chosen and arranged for maximum effect.” This can include types of figurative language (metaphor, simile, personification, pun, irony, etc.) elements of syntax (parallelism, juxtaposition, anthesis, anaphora, etc), logical fallacies, or persuasive appeals. Overall, there are many elements that you can analyze in an essay and having a good grasp on them through practice and memorization is important.

3. Keep the Essay Well Structured 

Even if you understand the various rhetorical strategies you can use, where do you begin? First of all, you’ll want to write a strong introduction that outlines the purpose of the piece. At the end of this introduction, you will write a thesis statement that encapsulates all the rhetorical strategies you discuss. Perhaps these are style elements, tone, or syntax. Be sure to be specific as you list these.

Next, you will create your body paragraphs. As you discuss the rhetorical elements in the piece and tie them back to the work’s meanings, be sure to discuss the points in chronological order. You don’t have to discuss every single strategy, but just pick the ones that are most important. Be sure to cite the line where you found the example. At the end of the essay, write a short conclusion that summarizes the major points above.

4. Be Sure to Explain Your Examples

As you write the essay, don’t just list out your examples and say something like “this is an example of ethos, logos, pathos.” Instead, analyze how the example shows that rhetoric device and how it helps the author further their argument. As you write the rhetorical essay, you’ll want to be as specific and detail-focused as possible. 

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AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example

Below is a prompt and example for a rhetorical essay, along with its score and what the writer did well and could have improved:

The passage below is an excerpt from “On the Want of Money,” an essay written by nineteenth-century author William Hazlitt. Read the passage carefully. Then write an essay in which you analyze the rhetorical strategies Hazlitt uses to develop his position about money.

Student essay example:

In his essay, Hazlitt develops his position on money through careful use of adjectives and verbs, hypothetical situations, and images. His examples serve to impress upon the reader the highly negative consequences of being in “want of money.”

Hazlitt’s word choice in his opening phrase provides an example of his technique in the rest of the essay. It is not necessary to follow “literally” with “truly” yet his repetition of the same ideas emphasizes his point. In his next sentence, one that lasts forty-six lines, Hazlitt condignly repeats similar ideas, beating into his audience the necessity of having money in this world. The parallelism throughout that one long sentence, “it is not to be sent for to court, or asked out to dinner…it is not to have your own opinion consulted or sees rejected with contempt..” ties the many different situations Haziltt gives together. What could have become a tedious spiel instead becomes a melodious recitation, each example reminding you of one before it, either because of the similarities in structure or content. Hazlitt addresses many different negative effects of not having money but manages to tie them together with his rhetorical strategies. 

The diction of the passage fully relays Hazlitt’s position about money. In every example he gives a negative situation but in most emphasizes the terrible circumstance with strong negative adjectives or verbs. “Rejected,” “contempt,” “disparaged,” “scrutinized,” “irksome,” “deprived,” “assailed” “chagrin;” the endless repetition of such discouragement shows how empathetically Hazlitt believes money is a requisite for a happy life. Even the irony of the last sentences is negative, conveying the utter hopelessness of one without money. Through one may have none in life, pitiless men will proceed to mock one’s circumstances, “at a considerable expense” after death! 

In having as the body of his essay one long sentence, Hazlitt creates a flow that speeds the passage along, hardly giving the reader time to absorb one idea before another is thrown at him. The unceasing flow is synonymous with Hazlitt’s view of the life of a person without money: he will be “jostled” through life, unable to stop and appreciate the beauty around him or to take time for his own leisure. 

The score on this essay was a 6 out of 6. This essay started out very strong as the student had a concrete thesis statement explaining the strategies that Hazlitt used to develop his position on money as well as Hazlitt’s belief on the topic. In the thesis statement, the student points out that adjectives, verbs, hypothetical situations, and images help prove Hazlitt’s point that wanting money can be problematic. 

Next, the student broke down their points into three main subsections related to their thesis. More specifically, the student first discusses word choice of repetition and parallelism. When the student discusses these strategies, they list evidence in the paragraph that can be found chronologically in Hazlitt’s essay. The next paragraph is about diction, and the student used specific adjectives and verbs that support this idea. In the last paragraph, the student emphasized how the speed and flow of the essay helped describe Hazlitt’s viewpoint on life. This last concluding sentence is particularly thoughtful, as it goes beyond the explicit points made in the essay and discusses the style and tone of the writing. 

It is important to remember that in some ways, the rhetorical essay is also an argumentative essay, as the student must prove how certain rhetorical strategies are used and their significance in the essay. The student even discussed the irony of the paragraph, which is not explicit in the passage.

Overall, this student did an excellent job organizing and structuring the essay and did a nice job using evidence to prove their points. 

Now that you’ve learned about the AP Lang rhetorical essay, you may be wondering how your AP scores impact your chances of admission. In fact, your AP scores have relatively little impact on your admissions decision , and your course rigor has much more weight in the application process.

If you’d like to know your chances of admission, be sure to check out our chancing calculator! This tool takes into account your classes, extracurriculars, demographic information, and test scores to understand your chances at admission at over 600 schools. Best of all, it is completely free!

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AP® English Language

How to get a 6 on the argument frq in ap® english language.

• The Albert Team
• Last Updated On: March 1, 2022

What We Review

Introduction: How to Get a 6 on the Argument FRQ in AP® English Language

Wondering how to get a 6 on the argumentative essay in AP® English Language? 

To score an 5 on the AP® English Argument FRQ question, the CollegeBoard scoring guidelines outline that students need to write an essay that effectively argues a position, uses appropriate and convincing evidence, and showcases a wide range of the elements of writing. Essays that score a 6 do all of that and, additionally, demonstrate sophistication in their argument.

An essay that does all of that is an incredibly well-constructed essay. Such an essay needs a solid framework and excellent support. To do this, it is important to have a clear idea of what you are being asked, to not waffle, to spend time and care with your thesis and outline, and to support every claim you make.

We know the best way to write an AP® English FRQ that does everything right is to understand what you are going to see on the AP® English Language test. Read on to prepare yourself for exam day and earn that 6!

What to Expect from the AP® English Language Argument Free Response Questions

The AP® English argument FRQ is the most straightforward of the AP® English FRQs because it is the most similar to the essays you’re already used to writing. It’s exciting to have free reign and make your own argument, unrestrained from rhetorical analysis devices or documents. But, like most AP® writing, it also can be a little overwhelming.

There’s nothing to read and analyze to provide evidence or help you form an argument. Whether you’re feeling excited or overwhelmed by the AP® writing argument FRQ, consider the rhetorical situation. Be strategic about forming your thesis, craft a strong, chronological argument, and utilize good, supportive evidence to earn a better overall essay response.

Determine the question.

The first question to ask yourself is what am I being asked to do ? This may seem obvious, but it’s surprising how tricky it can be to figure out. Look for keywords and phrases that will answer that question.

Here’s an example from the 2019 AP® English Language argumentative essay.

Though there are just two short paragraphs, there is a lot of room for confusion here. In this case, “Then, write a well-developed essay in which you explain your judgment.” is the key sentence you are looking for. In 2019, AP® English Language test takers were asked to select a concept, place, role, etc. that they believed was “overrated,” and explain why.

If you cannot determine what the question is, go back and reread the prompt. Focus on the last few sentences, as that’s where you’ll usually find it.

Knowing the question you are answering is the most important part of AP® writing. You will not be able to answer the question effectively if you aren’t certain what the question is. Pick out a specific sentence or two to determine the question, and thereby ensure that you aren’t just writing an essay that responds to the general sense of the argument essay prompts

Pick an opinion and stick to it.

The next step is both simple and difficult. Identify your own opinion on the subject.

But remember — the AP® argumentative essay exam format is designed to test how well you can craft an argument. Questions like the 2019 question seem so daunting, because claiming anything to be “overrated” is such a broad topic. It is a bigger question than students are used to encountering on an AP® test.

But, always remember, there is no right or wrong answer for this AP® English FRQ. And whatever argument you choose will not come back later in the exam or in your final grade in the class. This is not to say that you shouldn’t believe in what you are writing. Only that you should remember that both sides are arguable, pick one, and stick to it. Don’t waffle.

Below we break down two sample student answers from this same 2019 prompt. 

In this AP® Lang argument essay example, the student jumps from describing places, to people, to outfits. The prompts asked for only one example and the student gives three.  By doing this, it shows they were not only unable to grasp what the prompt was asking, but that they couldn’t stick to their opinion.  Instead of deeply strengthening one choice, the student gives vague, half-reasons for too many choices. When writing your FRQs, choose just one concept and stick to it.

The following example demonstrates a strong student response:

This student picks one clear concept, capitalism, and clearly outlines their support for it.  They write with clear language that opens the door for the deeper analysis coming later in the essay.

Like this student, choose just one clear argument to delve into when writing your FRQ.

Craft a thesis statement.

The thesis statement should be both simple and elegant. Students often find it one of the more difficult writing skills to master, but we’re here to help. Just remember that it should encompass your entire essay in just one sentence.  So, for the 2019 argument FRQ :

Good thesis: While capitalism undeniably has its upsides, it has many downsides that are rarely recognized. When considering the downsides, capitalism is clearly overrated as it commodifies humanity and uplifts a minority at the expense of the majority.

This thesis breaks down a) that the author clearly states his claim that capitalism is overrated, b) that the author will support that claim with examples on how it commodifies humanity and how it hurts the majority in favor of the minority.

Good thesis: While the Electoral College was created in the name of equality for smaller states, it is ultimately overrated because it undercuts the popular vote, it is an archaic practice that is unsuitable for the modern era.

This thesis claims the Electoral College is overrated by claiming it doesn’t do what it was created to do in the first place- support equality.  It also introduces two supporting examples for the rest of the essay- it undercuts the popular vote and it doesn’t work in the modern era.

Not a good thesis: Kicking a ball in a net and scoring, is not as important as saving lives. Soccer to me would be considered overrated.

This thesis doesn’t give clear direction for the rest of the essay.  The author claims soccer is overrated, but doesn’t tell us why. The example that “it’s not as important as saving lives” is unrelated and also not touched on again later in the essay. This thesis isn’t specific and doesn’t give you a clear idea of what the author will be saying next.

Not a good thesis: The term “overrated” has been used in conversation to diminish the value of roles. In unusual circumstances the term “overrated” should be applied to the idea of freedom in regards to social change, but overall it should not be applied in regards to global devastation and cruel treatment.

This thesis does not directly answer the question.  Is the author arguing that freedom is overrated? They also claim that the term overrated doesn’t apply to global devastation and cruel treatment. This second claim is both unrelated to the first and doesn’t work to answer the initial prompt.

Looking at these four examples, can you see the difference between a strong and weak thesis?

After you’ve determined your thesis, use it as a jumping point to sketch a quick outline. Then, follow your outline, bringing in your own concrete examples and evidence. Doing so will improve your AP® writing.

Return to the Table of Contents

Craft a chronological argument.

A good argument builds as you move through the essay. It does not simply repeat the same points. Instead, the different points of the argument build off one another and work together to advance the author’s point.

Let’s look at the 2018 AP® English argument FRQ for an example.

In this case, students are being asked to argue a position on the value of choosing the unknown. 

All students are likely to have their own definitions of what “choosing the unknown” might mean. You first want to consider what this phrase means to you, and how it applies to the real world.  Could it mean breaking out of your comfort zone in daily routines, or could it mean going to theater school to follow your dreams?  There’s no wrong answers, but try to pin down one. Consider Lindbergh’s quote the prompt gives you, and how shock, disappointment, and enrichment play into choosing the unknown.

Once you’ve nailed down your definition, you can begin to form your arguments. A chronological argument builds off itself. So, in this question’s case, an outline would look something like this:

• Choosing the unknown is necessary for the development of the human race.
• Scientific advancements cannot be made without testing the boundaries of the unknown.
• Cultural and artistic growth can only occur through exploring the unknown.

First, a student must define what choosing the unknown means, and what makes it difficult. Next the student argues for the value of choosing the unknown, in that the human race could never develop without it.  Finally, the student will argue for the invaluable scientific and cultural/artistic advances made throughout history by breaking known boundaries.

When you sketch your outline, quickly ask yourself if the outline would make just as much sense if you rearranged it. If the answer is no, start writing your essay. If the answer is yes, try to structure your argument so that your points build off one another.

Support your claims.

All arguments need evidence. This is the proof you need to support your thesis. And in the case of the AP® English argument FRQ, the evidence all comes from you. What exactly that evidence is will vary from question to question and from student to student. But make sure that every point you make is supported by evidence.

Here’s some good news — you already know quite a bit about effective evidence from what you have learned in AP® English about rhetorical devices. Your main purpose in this essay is to persuade. What have you learned in class about effective ways to persuade? What rhetorical devices can you utilize? Try to pick the best devices to support your argument that you can.

Here are some examples of supportive and non-supportive evidence that students could use to support their claims.

The 2017 AP® English language argument FRQ asked students to argue a position if the most essential skill is artifice. The example student answers given below are from here .

Supportive evidence:   “Throughout history, rulers have utilized countless different methods of achieving power, however none have been so successful as mastering the art of lying.

In his advice to future rulers, Niccolo Machiavelli encouraged them to lie and maintain the illusion of sympathy to the common struggles in order to retain power. He asserts that it is imperative for a ruler to appear caring and sympathetic even if he has no objective but power.

Machiavelli argues that to be sincere and honest is akin to being vulnerable. A ruler must be skilled in the art of deception if he is not to fall prey to usurpers. Thus, it is essential that he appear humble and morally upright to his constituents as he is to appear idealistic, despite his nature being identical to his citizens.”

In this paragraph, the student chooses to discuss the role of artifice in politics. The student claims that mastering lying is essential to achieving political power. The student uses Machiavelli’s leadership and beliefs as specific examples to support this, by analyzing and connecting each point back to his/her claim.

Non-supportive evidence: “Another example would be actors on red carpets or at interviews they sound generous and relatable, but in reality they could be selfish people who don’t care about anyone. To the public they act charming, honest, and sincere. They do this so they can get famous and rich. They do this so they will never get ignored.”

In this paragraph, the student chooses to discuss the role of artifice in the culture of entertainment and celebrities. However, the student does not utilize supportive evidence to do so. The paragraph is full of claims about how actors lie, but does not provide a concrete example to anchor the claims. The student provides a lot of very vague generalizations, but no clear evidence or examples of specific celebrities and how they used artifice to succeed.

There is so much variance in prompts and students’ prior knowledge; it’s impossible to provide a checklist of what makes evidence supportive. But a good trick to decide if you’ve supported your claims well enough is to talk to yourself. No really, it’s a good idea.

Picture yourself discussing your essay with someone. Imagine that this person disagrees with everything that you say. Every time you make a claim, like that it’s important to be polite in an email, your imaginary person shakes their head and tells you no. How would you try to convince them? What examples would you use? Make sure that for each opinion you put forward; you have provided an answer to someone who would disagree with you.

The evidence is an important part of your essay. If your outline and your argument are a framework, your evidence is the brick and mortar. A house without brick and mortar won’t fall, but it won’t be a very nice house to inhabit. Tie every claim you make to a piece of evidence to ensure the best essay possible.

Wrapping Things Up: Scoring a 6 on the Argument FRQ for AP® English Language

The AP® English argument FRQ varies quite a bit. But it is ultimately about how well you can put forth an argument. So, don’t be afraid to spend some time crafting that argument. We’ve covered a lot in this article- here are the main points to remember:

• Determine the question. Figure out what the prompt is asking you to do.
• Pick an opinion and stick to it. Choose one side of the argument and one clear claim to support all the way through.
• Craft a thesis statement. Your thesis should be clear, concise, and introduce the content of your essay.
• Craft a chronological argument. Make an argument that builds on its prior points.
• Support your claims. Support yourself with concrete, specific evidence and examples. 

But most of all, have fun. This essay is the one you should be looking forward to, where you have the freest rein. Enjoy it and earn yourself a 6.

Do the examples shown make sense to you? Can you picture yourself moving through the AP® writing argument FRQ with ease now?

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8 thoughts on “how to get a 6 on the argument frq in ap® english language”.

Thank you for explaining this so eloquently. Excellent post, I will keep this handy and refer to it often from now on. It’s so educative. Great post!

Sure, glad it helped.

I’m an AP® Language teacher and the title of your article caught my eye because the essays aren’t scored on a 0-9 scale anymore. The max score for an essay now is a 6. Essays are now scored in 3 categories: Thesis: 0 or 1 point Evidence and commentary: 0-4 points Sophistication: 0 or 1 point I just wanted to let you know! I saw this was last updated in 2020 and just thought it should reflect the current AP® exam.

Thank you for the heads up! This is an older blog post that must have had something else updated to it this year. We’ve gone ahead and revised the post.

Hi, my AP® Language teacher emphasized on a counterargument at the end of the supporting paragraphs. Could you elaborate on it? Also, how exactly do we get the sophistication point?

Hi Stephanie, thanks for reaching out! Making a solid counter-argument is definitely one way to make sure that you earn the Sophistication point. We recommend having a look at our AP® English Language Review Guide for 2021 for more tips! The College Board’s Free-Response Question and Scoring Information Archive also provides authentic examples of student writing — many of which successfully make counterarguments and rebuttals to earn the Sophistication point.

Hi can I get a 6?

Hi Roy, we certainly believe that earning a 6 on your FRQs is possible with practice and dedication! I’d recommend having a look at our AP® English Language Review Guide for tips and tricks, and you can also browse our AP® English Language and Composition Resource Page and Free Response practice questions for targeted practice.

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How to Write the AP Lang Synthesis Essay with Example

September 5, 2023

If you’re highly interested in learning more about writing analysis, then chances are you enrolled in AP Lang. Essentially, AP Lang is an advanced course for high schoolers that combines interest and knowledge in English with critical thinking. In the class, students learn how to analyze and synthesize a variety of texts to construct well-reasoned arguments. If you take AP Lang, then you can opt to take the AP test at the conclusion of the school year. On the exam, students write the AP Lang synthesis essay to demonstrate their learned abilities. In this article, we’ll look at what the AP Lang synthesis essay requires and show an example to provide better understanding of what to expect on the exam.

AP Lang Exam Basics

The AP Lang exam is separated into two sections. In the first section, students have one hour to answer a series of 45 multiple-choice questions. Here, about half of the questions are based on passages students read. The other half are focused on the best revision techniques. Essentially, the answers for the latter 20-22 questions are geared toward revising mock essays.

In this article, however, we’ll focus mainly on the second part of the exam: the AP Lang synthesis essay.

In this second section, students have two hours and 15 minutes to write three essays of their own design. The three open-ended questions in this section are intended to be free-response and allow for a variety of approaches. Each question is intended to allow up to 40 minutes to complete.

For the AP Lang synthesis essay, students are presented with a scenario of the College Board’s design. The scenario will provide its own thesis statement. Usually, scenarios relate to real-world problems like environmental concerns, media, or government policies.

For each scenario, students are provided with 6-7 outside sources. These sources could be in the form of an image, visual graph, or written paragraph. For written paragraphs, the sources are usually no more than 500 words.

Students are then expected to incorporate at least 3-4 of these outside sources into their essay response. The outside sources are intended to be used as supporting evidence for the student’s chosen stance or argument. Students are able to either agree with or disagree with the thesis presented in the original scenario.

AP Lang Exam – Scoring

In the second part of the AP Lang exam, students can earn a possible 6 points on each essay. 1 point is earned for the development of a thesis. Up to 4 points can be earned for evidence and commentary. The final 1 point is earned for sophistication of thought.

AP Lang Exam – Takeaways

Ultimately, the goal of the AP Lang synthesis essay is not whether the student is “right” or “wrong” in their argument. The key is that students are able to reasonably and clearly support their argument using the provided sources as evidence .

The College Board looks for your ability to identify relationships between texts , form a coherent argument , and interpret external sources .

Synthesis Essay AP Lang Examples

If you’re not sure how the questions will look on the AP Lang synthesis essay section, we’ll provide an example. After the example, we’ll break down the strengths and weaknesses of the response. That way, you’ll have a better idea of what the College Board is looking for.

Additionally, the College Board has released previous AP Lang synthesis essay examples you can review. They even have essay questions as recent as 2022 . For further support, a scoring commentary and comments from the Chief Reader are also available to view. Additionally, there are other examples you can view from earlier years .

Note: A good strategy to study for the synthesis essay AP Lang exam is to review your rhetorical devices and literary devices . Understanding how these devices function can be essential in constructing a cohesive essay.

Synthesis Essay AP Lang Examples – Sample Question

Below is a sample question from the AP Lang synthesis essay and a response to the prompt. This question was taken directly from a 2022 exam . However, the response to the question will be originally crafted for the purpose of this newsletter. As well, all supporting evidence will be originally created and does not correspond to any previous test.

The Question

Since the early 2000s, the United States government and a number of corporations have sponsored initiatives to improve education in the STEM disciplines: science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. The emphasis on STEM subjects in elementary, secondary, and higher education reflects concerns that United States students are less proficient in these areas than are students in other countries. Additionally, there is a belief that mastery in STEM fields is now essential in order to join a highly technical and specialized workforce. However, not everyone is convinced that a STEM-focused curriculum is necessary and/or effective.

In your response you should do the following:

• Respond to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible
• Select and use evidence from at least three of the provided sources to support your line of Indicate clearly the sources used through direct quotation, paraphrase, or summary. Sources may be cited as Source A, Source B, etc., or by using the description in parentheses.
• Explain how the evidence supports your line of
• Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your

How to Approach the Question

Maybe your first thought upon seeing this block of text is to feel overwhelmed. But don’t panic. There are effective ways to approach the question so you will be more prepared in your response.

It’s a good strategy to first isolate the thesis . What is the main idea of the text, and what is its argument?

Try it out. Reread the prompt and see if you can identify what the statement is asking you to develop an opinion on.

Think you’ve got it? In this example, we will be focusing on whether or not a STEM-focused curriculum in K-12 education is necessary and/or effective. In short, we will be arguing either for (highlighting the benefits) or against (highlighting the pitfalls) a STEM-focused curriculum.

How do we know what this statement is asking us?

Well, the statement provides a lot of background information. For example, we receive a definition of what STEM stands for. As well, we know that since 2000, there has been a greater initiative for STEM-focused classes.

When you read the prompt for the first time, it’s a great strategy to learn how to differentiate between background and contextual information from the heart of the argument .

A good way to learn how to isolate the argument is to look for transition words. Usually, these appear near the end of the question. Words like “however” and “yet” are signals that the statement is offering a differing opinion. Typically, the statement will tell you which two positions it’s offering for argument. These opinions are usually signaled by contrasting transition words.

So, now that we know what the question is asking us, what is the best way to respond?

Synthesis Essay AP Lang Examples – Sample Answer

The following is an essay response I crafted to the above question. After reading the sample, I will break down what it does well and what areas can be improved.

A STEM-focused curriculum is not as essential to providing a meaningful K-12 education. Because the majority of high school students are not proficient in STEM-focused classes, prioritizing these classes causes harm to student’s mental health and academic performance.

As seen in Source A, 60% of high school seniors in the Midwest only scored a C average in math and science-based classes (Langston). This statistic suggests that the majority of students do not resonate with STEM classes and therefore perform poorly. Earning a low score in any class does not bode well for students’ mental health.

When looking at the primary argument in Source C, it’s clear that most high schoolers prefer creative outlets to fact-based research (Kohler). Allowing students the opportunity to be more creative and initiate conversations about coursework lets students be more active in their learning. When students can discuss the nuance in their opinions, more personal growth happens. These conversations are not always easy to have in STEM-focused classes.

As well, when looking back to Source A, it’s clear that high school students in the Midwest earned higher grades, on average, in their English and art classes (Langston). This figure suggests that students perform better in these classes because they relate more to the source material. When relating to what they learn, they perform better in class.

In conclusion, STEM-focused curriculum is not as essential in K-12 education because most high school students do not relate to their STEM classes. When students do not earn satisfactory grades in these classes, it negatively affects their future college applications and job prospects.

Synthesis Essay AP Lang Examples – Answer Breakdown

So, what does this essay response get right, and where can it be improved? Let’s start with what the response does well.

First, the response establishes its thesis right away. Usually, it’s a good idea to clearly state your argument within the first paragraph. Not only is this a good practice because a reader can easily identify your stance, but also you can refer to your thesis as you write to make you stay on track.

With your thesis, it’s also a good idea to include one to two supporting sentences with the reasons why the thesis is concluded . Like in this example, I wrote that STEM-focused classes should not be prioritized because they can negatively affect both mental health and academic performance.

Another positive aspect of this response is that it is sure to not only reference but also cites its sources . It’s important that the reader understand where your information is coming from. That way, the readers can ensure you are interpreting the sources correctly.

AP Lang Synthesis Essay (Continued)

However, when rereading the instructions, it’s clear that this response fails the basic requirement of referring to at least three sources. Always make sure to reread the instructions to ensure you meet the standard requirements for incorporating source material.

Further, this AP Lang synthesis essay does not fully support its arguments . Ideas are simply stated and are not expanded upon.

For example, I mentioned a few times that earning low grades in STEM classes leads to negative mental health for high school students. However, there is no source referenced that either confirms or denies this claim. Therefore, there is no sufficient evidence to support my argument. It relies purely on inference.

Additionally, this AP Lang synthesis essay does not arrive at a sufficient level of sophistication of thought . Basically, sophistication of thought means avoiding broad generalizations and vague claims. The more specific you can be, the better your argument will sound.

Synthesis Essay AP Lang – In Conclusion

In the end, it’s always helpful to read the prompt thoroughly before writing. As well, making notes while you read could be a good strategy to pinpoint main ideas both in the prompt and the sources. That way, you can reread the material quickly. Similarly, sketching an outline may also be helpful. In addition, you should always carefully read the instructions to ensure all guidelines are followed.

As long as you avoid broad generalizations and use enough supporting evidence for your claim, you will be on the right path!

• High School Success

Meghan Dairaghi

With a BA in English and an MFA in Creative Writing, Meghan has served as a writing tutor at the University of Missouri St. Louis and Maryville University. Additionally, Meghan has held editorial roles at River Styx and Boulevard, and was a prose reader at Farside Review . Most recently, her work has been featured in Belle Ombre , Flypaper Lit , and Mag 20/20 , among others, and she was nominated for the Mary Troy Prize in Fiction. 

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How to Write the AP Lang Synthesis Essay

AP Lang test is the logical conclusion to the introductory college English composition course. And its most important (and often difficult) part is the AP Lang synthesis essay. Despite it being the very basic layer of your future composition skills, it’s a very complicated challenge to approach unprepared. Besides, it's details may change year to year. So let’s have a look with our coursework writing team at what your AP Lang exam 2022 might look like.

What is AP Lang?

AP Lang is a relatively lengthy test. There are several AP rubrics that a student must be well-versed in to hope to pass it. The first section includes reading and writing, while the second is slightly more freeform and includes three different types of essays.

Among those three, the most interesting and, coincidentally, oftentimes the hardest to deal with is the AP Lang synthesis essay rubric. Today will focus on it specifically to make sure you know exactly what you’re going to be facing during your test.

What Is a Synthesis Essay AP Lang?

At its core, the AP Lang synthesis essay is a pretty straightforward part of the AP Lang test. It might look pretty similar to the reading section of the exam. However, simply finding the right information isn’t enough. When writing a synthesis essay, you should not only gather the data but also distill it into your personal opinion.

This fine line may seem difficult to spot, but it is there. And it’s that small difference that can make or break your exam run. So try to follow the steps one by one and not lose focus. Writing a good synthesis essay is as easy as following the rules. If you feel this task is too difficult for you, you can leave us your ' write an essay for me ' request and we will do it for you.

AP Lang Synthesis Essay Outline

Looking through AP Lang essay examples, you might notice that the overall structure doesn’t really differ too much from your standard essay outline. You have your introduction, your body, and your conclusion. But the important thing to note is where your arguments are supposed to come from.

You’re not supposed to just go off on a rant. The task requires you to base your supporting evidence on at least three sources. And you will have to ensure your essay has solid roots. Here’s what a basic AP Lang exam synthesis essay outline should look like:

• Introduction

Provide sufficient context for the topic you are about to cover. You can do a quick overview of prevailing opinions you have grasped while browsing through your source materials.

Write a short and compelling thesis statement. This will be your ground zero for the rest of the essay. So make sure it reflects your opinion. What is a thesis statement you can read in our special article.

• Body Paragraphs

Dedicate at least one paragraph to every source you’re using. Start with presenting the evidence you have gathered from that source and go on to explain how it formed your opinion on the topic and why it should be considered.

Quickly go through your line of reasoning and reinforce what you have already covered. Finish up with restating your thesis as you’re supposed to logically arrive at it after all the evidence you have presented. That’s how you write a conclusion properly.

Different Forms and Types of Synthesis Essay: Explanatory vs. Argumentative Synthesis Essays

When it comes to writing a synthesis essay AP Lang, there are several types of essays you should consider. The most common ones are the AP Lang argument essay and explanatory essay. The clues as to how each of them should look are hidden within their names but let’s go over them to clear any confusion.

An explanatory essay’s goal is to go over a certain topic, discuss it in detail, and ultimately show a high level of understanding of the said topic. You don’t necessarily have to get into a heated argument with the reader trying to convince them of something. All you need to do is create an impartial overview.

On the other hand, an argumentative essay has to do with personal opinions. And while there is a time and a place for bias, it still has to be as impartial and factual as possible. When proving your point, try not to devolve into emotional arguments but stick to logic and cold truths. This will make your argument way more solid.

Synthesis Essay Structure

In the general case, you don’t really need to look for a synthesis essay AP Lang example to get a solid grasp on how its structure should look like. You can safely fall back on your high school essay writing knowledge, and you’ll be mostly safe.

What you should pay attention to is your writing style and content. A synthesis essay is identified less by its structure and more by the way you form and present your arguments to the reader. It’s when you get a specific essay type (like an argumentative essay) that you should pay attention to slight changes in format.

Argument Essay Structure

The best way to understand argumentative essay structure is to study any well-written AP Lang argument essay example. Standard AP Lang essays have very distinctive features that are very easy to spot and emulate. They follow a very rigid form and employ specific rhetorical devices that you’ll be able to pick up after you analyze them once or twice quickly.

How Many Paragraphs Should an AP Lang Synthesis Essay Be?

The number of paragraphs in an AP Lang synthesis essay can indeed make a difference. Your arguments should be concise and pointed. Spreading them out throughout many paragraphs may seem like a good idea to fill in the space. But it’s actually detrimental to your final score. You can get a basic understanding of what your score is going to be using an AP Lang score calculator.

The same goes for too few paragraphs. Don’t even try to squeeze your entire line of thought into a single body paragraph. Generally, the minimum number of sources you should address is three. Any less, and you are getting a lower score. So try to keep it somewhere in the middle. Three to five body paragraphs is an optimal number. Don’t forget to add an intro and a conclusion to it and you’re all set. A well-written essay has a clear and easily identifiable structure.

How to Write AP Lang Synthesis Essay: Guide

In order to write a decent essay, all you have to do is follow these simple steps. Performing a rhetorical analysis essay example, AP Lang won’t give you insight into how it was built from the ground up. But looking at this list might.

Step 1. Read the Prompt

It may sound like a no-brainer. But it’s actually more important than you can imagine. Don’t skip right past this step. It’s very easy to misunderstand the task under stress. And if you do slip up in the beginning - the entirety of your work after that is wasted.

Step 2. Analyze the Sources Carefully

The same goes for your sources. Take your time reading them. Try to spot every smallest detail, as even a single one can help you better incorporate your evidence into the body of your essay. You can begin outlining the general points of your essay in your head at this point.

Step 3. Come Up with a Strong Thesis Statement

Your thesis statement is the baseline of your writing. Make it short and clear. Try not to overthink it too much.

Step 4. Fill in Your Essay Outline

Start filling out your outline step by step. You don’t have to go from top to bottom. If you feel like you’re struggling - skip to the next part and return to the problem paragraph later. The use of rhetorical devices AP Lang is also pretty important. So once you flesh out your essay a bit, spend some time trying to come up with the perfect wording.

Step 5. Finalize

The first finished version of your essay is a draft. Don’t be hasty to turn it in. Read over it a couple of times. Make sure everything is in order. You can switch some of the parts around or rewrite some sections if you have the time. Ideally, at this stage you should have enough time to eliminate all grammatical errors that may still be present in your essay. Polish it to perfection.

Useful Tips

Here are some useful tips that might make the writing process a bit easier for you:

• Use either APA or Chicago style to cite your sources
• Have a schedule to understand how much time you have for each section
• Leave as much time as you can for editing and proofreading
• You can never over study the source material. Spend as much time as you can reading into it
• Don’t linger on the surface of your essay subject. Dive in and show your complex understanding of the material
• Avoid using private life anecdotes to support your case unless the essay type specifically allows it. These don’t make for a convincing argument.
• Use as many supporting arguments as you can but make sure they are actually solid and relevant to your thesis
• Check with your thesis from time to time. The entirety of your text should align with it

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AP Lang Essay Prompts

Here are some interesting prompts. Some of them could be found in the previous iterations of the test; you may have spotted them in some of the AP Lang essay examples. Others are there to help you practice for the AP Lang exam 2022.

• The John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum, dedicated in 1979, was founded in memory of the president and contained archives pertaining to his administration. On June 24, 1985, then President Ronald Reagan joined members of the Kennedy family at a fundraising event to help the Kennedy Library Foundation create an endowment to fund and support the presidential library. The following is an excerpt from the speech Reagan gave at that event. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Reagan makes to achieve his purpose of paying tribute to John F. Kennedy.
• On August 29, 2009, then-President Barack Obama delivered a eulogy at the funeral of Senator Ted Kennedy in Boston, Massachusetts. Kennedy served in the United States Senate from 1962 until his death. Obama served with him in the Senate from 2005 until Obama was elected president in 2008. The following is an excerpt from Obama’s speech. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Obama makes to achieve his purpose of praising and memorializing Kennedy.
• On April 9, 1964, Claudia “Lady Bird” Johnson, who was at the time the First Lady of the United States, gave the following speech at the first-anniversary luncheon of the Eleanor Roosevelt Memorial Foundation. The foundation is a nonprofit division of the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library dedicated to the works of former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, who passed away in 1962. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Johnson makes to achieve her purpose of paying tribute to Eleanor Roosevelt.

In your response, you should do the following:

• Respond to the prompt with a thesis that analyzes the writer’s rhetorical choices.

• Select and use evidence to support your line of reasoning.

• Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.

• Demonstrate an understanding of the rhetorical situation.

• Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.

AP Lang Essay Example

Here is a decent if a bit shortened, AP Lang rhetorical analysis essay example you can use for reference.

Literature to Prepare for AP Lang

And here is a list of some great AP Lang books that will help you prepare for the exam. Not all of them are immediately useful, but most will help you enhance your writing and analytical abilities to get a better score in the end.

• The Odyssey
• Don Quixote
• A Midsummer Night's Dream
• Pride and Prejudice
• Wuthering Heights
• Oliver Twist
• Crime and Punishment
• Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

If you have thoughts of "who could do my paper for me," do not forget that you can contact us. Or, if you have a finished paper and you need to make edits to it, leave us a ' rewrite my essay ' request and we will do it as soon as possible.

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AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Practice

35 min read • february 2, 2021

Rhetorical Analysis practice is one of the most important ways to prepare for the exam! Review student writing practice samples and corresponding feedback from TA Brandon Wu! While you don't need to memorize every rhetorical device for the exam, you should take some time to familiarize yourself with them. To help out, we created this list of 40 rhetorical devices for AP Lang!

The Rhetorical Analysis Practice Prompt

Use the image below to answer the following questions:

In your response, make sure to include:

• A thesis statement or claim that addresses the prompt
• 1-2 body paragraphs  with specific evidence & commentary (how many devices or sentences of commentary is up to you)
• Elements of sophistication - Significance/relevance of rhetorical choices (“SOC”) and/or Purpose of complexities or tensions (“POC”)

Writing Samples & Feedback

Short essay practice submission 1.

As a sole female ruler of a growing and powerful nation during the fourteenth century, Queen Elizabeth I faced the hesitance of rulers and a people who doubted in her ability to overcome the weakness of her femininity and rule her nation to prosperity. In order to establish her power and the prove her worth as successful leader, Elizabeth I creates a tone of loyalty and confidence that serves to persuade her subjects that she is the ruler they deserve and need. In order to maintain her position as queen, Elizabeth uses comparisons and assertive diction throughout her “Speech to the Troops at Tilbury.”

As a ruler, Elizabeth I must establish a sense of loyalty between herself and her people. In order to achieve this common ground of trust, Elizabeth “assures” her people that she knows she has the characteristics of a leader she needs to "be [the people’s] general. and protect them. Through her use of assertive diction, Elizabeth is guaranteeing her people that this victory was not a fluke and she is the ruler they need. If they decide to remove her from her throne, they will suffer because they will not longer have her vigorous loyal devotion to protect them. She compares herself to a general in order to prove to her people that her loyalty is sincere. Although a “feeble woman”, she has the strength of a general to overcome the weakness of her feminine side to be the king that the people deserve.

While proving herself to be a loyal leader is important, Elizabeth also takes into account that she must be a confident leader who believes in her people’s and own ability to be victorious. In her speech, she claims herself to “know” the strengths of her soul and weaknesses of her body. She recognizes that she may not be the strongest, allowing for a sincerity to shine that establishes trust, but she believes so strongly in the cause of Britain, has so much confidence in their inevitable success, that she is willing to take up arms herself and fight. She creates a sense of courage and valor that is not common in a women and further convinces her subjects that she has the soul of a confident king who can lead them well. Without asserting her knowledge of weakness and confidence in her abilities to overcome those weaknesses, Elizabeth could not reasonably convince her subjects that she was a good leader. Without addressing the aspects of her nature that could make her feeble, her confidence could not shine in the persuasive way it did in this speech.

TA Feedback

Thesis - 1 point. I think you definitely include a defensible thesis and answer the prompt adequately by talking about Queen Elizabeth’s purpose. Great job with context in the intro paragraph!

Evidence & Commentary - 3 points. Great embedding of evidence throughout this first body paragraph. I really like your analysis about Elizabeth’s loyal devotion; it shows that you aren’t summarizing! What’s keeping you from the fourth point here in my opinion is that to get four points in E&C, College Board says that you should “Explain how multiple rhetorical choices in the passage contribute to the writer’s argument, purpose, or message” and while it does provide a caveat that “the response may observe multiple instances of the same rhetorical choice if each instance further contributes to the argument, purpose, or message of the passage.” However, I think your representation of diction and tone in the last paragraph does not quite meet that threshold of “further contributing” to the argument, purpose, or message, given the similar commentary. For instance, you say that Elizabeth has the strength of a general to “overcome the weakness of her feminine side” and sort of repeat that later on when you say she creates a “sense of courage and valor that is not common in a woman”. I feel like both of your body paragraphs sort of link to the same argument you make that she is strong, confident, and will fight for Britain. While this is typically something that is good (linking back to a central thesis), unfortunately, your two body paragraphs reference the  same literary device  (diction) and thus you earn only three points. My advice is to look for other literary devices, such as perhaps an appeal to emotion (live and die amongst you all) or an appeal to authority (under God/references to religious authority). Having multiple devices compared to multiple instances of the same device with accompanying analysis that links the appeals to emotion/religious authority to your thesis (loyalty/confidence) would have likely earned you the fourth point.

Sophistication - 0 points. I think there isn’t enough consistency here to grant you sophistication. While you do mention the hesitance of rulers and people who doubted in the ability of her femininity as context, your references the two other times (although a “feeble woman” & "creates a sense of courage and valor that is not common in a woman) don’t really demonstrate how you are  explaining the significance or relevance of the writer’s rhetorical choices given the rhetorical situation . They also seem kind of contradictory to me (is she feeble or is she courageous?) Think of the Madeline Albright student sample where it brings up the thematic idea of how women could do things in the broader context (seek out problems and fix them); I feel like your references to context seem to just be in the realm of Elizabeth’s leadership when they should have been more of a reference to women’s role in society as a whole.

Overall Score : 4/6 - Great job!

Short Essay Practice Submission 2

Queen Elizabeth showed herself as a strong leader during the threat of the Spanish Armada, taking over England, a major country, in 1588. As she addresses the land forces at TIlbury she reminds them that they need to trust her, and they shouldn’t fear. She enforces the trust by saying that she will place her life in danger, by being a general, if the Spanish Armada succeeds in attacking England. While saying this she is conveying that even though England is being threatened and a very significant event in world history could happen, the land forces should not fear because even though she is a woman she still has,”the heart and stomach of a king”.

At the beginning of Queen Elizabeth’s speech she recognizes the call from some people that she and other individuals holding a high office should be very careful of their safety. She disagrees with this thought because she is one with the people. By specifically telling the land forces, in Tilbury, she is empowering them by not giving up and retreating to a safer place, just because she is a queen. This gives the forces lots of strength because they know that their queen has their back and will not lose hope in the country or them. This trust alongside military power is what allowed the forces to defeat the biggest world power, of the time.

These empowering speeches are given all the time by world leaders in times of crisis. While the Covid pandemic may not be a battle like the land forces had with the Spanish Armada, it is a battle because people are fearing that the way of life they know will be taken away from them. To quell the fear of all battles or pandemics leaders will give speeches, or press conferences in modern day, it also helps their re-election if they showed strength during crisis. Another way Queen Elizabeth specifically empowers the land forces during their crisis is by saying that she will be their general if the Spanish Armada do gain control of English land. When she does this she immediately makes the country feel much more comfortable in that their queen will not leave them, even if her own city is invaded. This gives not just hope to the land forces they may have to directly battle the Spanish Armada but also the common citizens whose homes could be destroyed and families killed by warfare. This is very important because, as we saw with the Vietnam War in 1970, if the citizens don’t back the war it is very unlikely that you will win because it is the citizens who have to fight and produce warfare materials.

In conclusion, even though Queen Elizabeth was a woman she had the grit and determination of a man. This significantly helped the land forces respond to the strongest world power of the time. As she addresses the land forces at Tilbury she reminds them that they need to trust her, and they shouldn’t fear. She enforces the trust by saying that she will place her life in danger, by being a general, if the Spanish Armada succeeds in attacking England. While saying this she is conveying that even though England is being threatened and a very significant event in world history could happen, the land forces should not fear because even though she is a woman she still has, ”the heart and stomach of a king”.

Thesis - 1 point - I couldn’t find your thesis in the intro, so I ended up going to the conclusion. I honestly think it is much better to have your thesis as the  last sentence of your intro paragraph . Your introduction paragraph feels much more like a summary of what happened in the speech as opposed to a  rhetorical analysis  of how she used devices to help achieve her purpose. This does get answered though in the conclusion, but I would advise you to have an explicit thesis in the introduction.

Evidence & Commentary - 2 points - Your evidence is pretty general, but at times it is specific which connects to your thesis of how Queen Elizabeth was helping support the land forces and demonstrating her grit and determination. To increase your evidence & commentary score, I would highly recommend you quote (use embedded quotes) rather than paraphrase to help create a line of reasoning (which is how your argument flows / the structure of your thesis & body paragraphs). Moreover, I think you need to be answering why the author used the specific rhetorical device & how it specifically contributes to the author’s purpose. Using words to guide the AP reader like “this supports the author’s purpose…” will help you here.

Sophistication - 0 Points - While I think you do a great job bringing in outside context and talking about pandemics/re-elections, I think you need to be very careful here with how you incorporate sophistication. Remember, SOC = significance (or relevance) of the writer’s rhetorical choices in the  context of the rhetorical situation , and it seems that you are moreso talking about  other rhetorical situations  (Vietnam War, COVID, etc.). Also, I’m not very clear as to which rhetorical devices/techniques you’re talking about (details? diction? imagery? what kind of diction?) so I don’t think I can give you sophistication here.

Overall Score - 3 Points. I think this is an instance where it is definitely more important to work on evidence & commentary and find specific evidence of  rhetorical techniques and devices  to support your overarching thesis statement; then you can work on sophistication and talking about the significance/relevance of such rhetorical devices.

Short Essay Practice Submission 3

Ruler of England, Queen Elizabeth I, in her speech to the troops of tilbury, addresses the land forces during a threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada. Queen Elizabeth I purpose is to convince the Troops of Tilbury to stand by her side during the threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada and fight with her. Queen Elizabeth I, establishes her purpose through the application of diction, and the repetition of the word I. Queen Elizabeth I begins her speech by stating, “My loving people.” Starting the speech off like this, Queen Elizabeth I is creating a bond with the audience, she is implying that she cares for her people and stands by them. Queen Elizabeth I emphasizes the fight for her England as she applies strong diction to engender patriotism from the soldiers. She states “Your valor in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” Here Queen Elizabeth is utilizing the soldier’s sense of patriotism for their country to convince them to fight. “Valor” and “Victory” inspire the soldier to fight for their country and gives them a sense of purpose to fight for what is right. Queen Elizabeth establishes her reasoning through the repetition of the word “I.” Queen Elizabeth begins by stating, “I know that I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman,” by calling her self “weak” and “feeble” Queen Elizabeth is setting up a counterargument to defend herself because she knows that this is how many of the following troops see her. She is stating the thoughts of many and then counteracts it by stating, “I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a King of England.” Queen Elizabeth is establishing her status to the troops, as well as establishing her credibility. When Elizabeth states, “I Myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general…” She is implying that she is no different from her. She is emphasizing that if she is willing to fight for her country, then they should stand by herself and fight with her. In her speech, Queen Elizabeth is inspiring a sense of patriotism and hope to influence the Troops to protect England from Spain. Queen Elizabeth doesn’t speak to the Soldiers as if she was a queen, but she speaks to them like a friend. She tugs on their sense of patriotism to achieve her purpose of convincing the troops of Tilbury to fight against the Spanish Armada. She applies the rhetorical devices of diction and repetition to imply her purpose to the people around her.

Thesis - 1 Point - I love your explicit mention of Queen Elizabeth’s purpose and the rhetorical devices you emphasize. Make sure though that you specify what the diction is - every author has an application of diction, but include an adjective before to describe  what the diction is (emotional? nostalgic? uplifting? etc) . Evidence & Commentary - 4 Points - I think you do a very good job at analyzing the strong diction and anaphora (repetition of beginning words) and linking this to your thesis. Thus, I would give you four points for your  consistent commentary  in addition to your specific evidence.

Sophistication - 0 Points - There isn’t necessarily discussion here of the significance/relevance of the rhetorical choices Queen Elizabeth made nor is there a discussion of complexities/tensions. I don’t think I am a fair judge of ‘excellent prose style’, so thus I can’t really reward points on that metric.

Great job overall with a 5/6 on this rhetorical analysis essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 4

Queen Elizabeth I faced many challenges throughout her reign, but by far the largest was her ongoing battle with the Spanish Armada. In 1588, Queen Elizabeth was awaiting an impending attack from the Armada and needed to rally her citizens to fight against something much bigger and much stronger than themselves. By abating her audience’s concerns about her gender and raising the spirits of the soldiers, Queen Elizabeth I unites the British people under a common goal of defeating the Spanish Armada.

In her speech, Queen Elizabeth tackles the stigma of her womanliness to display herself as a powerful leader that will fight hand-in-hand with the country’s front lines. She begins by saying “I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England too,…”. Here, Queen Elizabeth is being open with her audience and acknowledging her physical weaknesses while displaying her determination and passion for her country. Her direct reference to herself as having qualities of a king of England puts the listener’s worries at bay, as the kings in the past have been strong and capable of creating the large British empire that ruled during that time. Queen Elizabeth elaborates even further on her obligation to her country, saying that “[any country] should dare to invade the borders of my realm… I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.” Though she is a woman, Queen Elizabeth’s determination and passion shines through and erases the worries of her gender. By not ignoring her gender and weaknesses, she is building credibility with the listeners and making herself more trustworthy. Britain could be facing a dark time ahead, and her words calm the listener and give them confidence and pride in their country, something that is necessary when fighting an army that is much more powerful than theirs.

Queen Elizabeth also raises the spirits of the soldiers and citizens in several ways. Near the beginning of her speech, Queen Elizabeth assures her people that she has “placed [her] chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of [her] subjects”. This is important, as committing to fight a much mightier army without complete support from a noble leader would be demoralizing to the members fighting. Another way that Queen Elizabeth lifts the morale of her citizens is by promising pay: “We do assure you in the word of a prince, [rewards and crowns] should be duly paid you.” If Queen Elizabeth had not done this, she would be left with many unmotivated soldiers who needed this money from the Crown to support their families. To conclude her speech, she with the most confident line yet: “we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” With this line, Queen Elizabeth evokes the listeners’ emotions because of her references to personal ideas such as religion and patriotism, thus showing the reasons why she is willing to fight the battle as the underdog.

For many soldiers that had been fighting without pay and were scared by the sheer power of the Spanish Armada, Queen Elizabeth put their concerns aside and allowed soldiers to fight without other worries. She also gives other British citizens (non-soldiers) a reason to support a fight that seemed impossible to be won by the British if analyzed by the size of the armed forces. However, Queen Elizabeth was right: this fight is not about quantity of forces, but about heart. And by making her subjects sympathize with this belief, Queen Elizabeth successfully rallied her people and defeated the Spanish Armada.

Great job with the thesis point here - very explicit at the end of the introduction paragraph that tells me what the author’s purpose is and Queen Elizabeth’s rhetorical choices. In your evidence & commentary paragraphs, you did a great job of mentioning Queen Elizabeth’s gender and how she built credibility. I really enjoy your line of reasoning here in the second body paragraph while you mention her lifting morale and how she was able to motivate people. For sophistication, I think you do mention context “kings in the past have been strong and capable of creating the large British empire” and your analysis of how soldiers and non-soldiers alike were impacted (tied to your rhetorical devices) gives you credence to earn the sophistication point under the “significance or relevance of rhetorical choices” category. Great job on the 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 5

In 1588, Queen Elizabeth faced one of the most imminent threats of her career: the invasion by the Spanish Armada. Elizabeth had the task of not only rallying up her forces but also ensuring that they place trust in her and her plans to come out of the threat victorious. In order to increase confidence in her troops and cast aside their doubts of having a woman leader during this time of male domination, Elizabeth emphasizes that she will be making sacrifices alongside her troops to make and acknowledges and rebuttals her downsides that were associated with having a female leader at the time.

In the first two sentences, Elizabeth expresses her trust in her troops, saying “I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects”. These words of encouragement aid in pulling together the army as one; the leader has faith in them, so they should have faith in themselves. She continues on to say that she comes as a leader ready “to live and die amongst you all”, and lay down her body for her “God”, “kingdom”, and “people”. This is exactly what she is encouraging her troops to do: give everything they have to ensure the safety of their country and the victory during her war. As a fighter, you want to hear that your leader is in the fight with you, and that you are not alone. It holds even more weight as a woman leader, as women did not fight during that time period. If a woman, dainty and proper, is willing and pledging to lay down her life, the army is left with the thought that they are expected and must be capable of doing the same. This also serves as a warning sign for anyone who should “dare to invade the borders of [her] realm”; she is increasing the esteem of her army, making them a stronger threat, and is warning them that while she may be a woman, she is adept and strong enough to lead a country and mobilize a strong response.

In the next sentence, Elizabeth takes the argument that she is a “feeble woman” who is not expected to nor capable of leading an army of men head-on. She responds saying, “I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too”. By equating herself to the previous successful English kings, she is emphasizing the fact that while she may be a woman, she is just as mentally strong as any other successful ruler that preceded her. She wants the army to trust her, just as they had placed trust in King Henry and King Edward years prior. Not only is she increasing her troop’s trust in herself by underscoring her mental toughness, but she is also being open with her troops by acknowledging her perceived downsides as a woman ruler. Despite her being a woman, she will do the best she can to have “a famous victory over those enemies”. And, this statement serves as a “heads-up” for foreign invaders as well–She is strong, she is capable, and she is ready to fight, regardless of her gender.

Good job here with the the thesis - I would include something along the lines of “Elizabeth uses rhetorical devices and techniques to emphasize…” in order to help your essay flow later. Still, you aren’t restating the prompt and answering with something that can be proven by evidence, so you earn the thesis point. For evidence & commentary, I think you have great analysis about women during that time period and how she is “increasing the esteem of her army”. Moreover, I appreciate your analysis of King Henry and King Edward adding some useful context. Ultimately though, I feel as if you are really only talking about diction in these two paragraphs and College Board says that you need to mention  more than one rhetorical device  (with the caveat that I mentioned in Perla’s post). Thus, I think you earn 3 points here in evidence & commentary.

In terms of sophistication, I’m a bit borderline on this, but I’ll award it to you because I think you do mention multiple times (and incorporate it into your argument) that women during that time period didn’t really have leading positions and she demonstrated her committed leadership both in your second and third paragraph. So in total, you earned five out of six points!

There is something that every country needs to be successful: a great leader. A great leader is not just someone who makes the decisions, a great leader respects their people. A great leader loves their people. A great leader inspires their people. Queen Elizabeth I proves that she is a great leader during her speech to her land forces in 1588. There was a threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada and Queen Elizabeths duty as a leader was to make sure that this invasion does not happen. By establishing a sense of trust with her people and appealing to her audiences patriotism, Elizabeth successfully inspires her people which provokes them to fight for their country with their whole heart.

Queen Elizabeth opens up her speech with an compassionate tone, which helps her establish a sense of loyalty with her people. Her first words were “My loving people” which provokes emotion from her audience. She continues to express that she “does not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people.” This continues to establish a sense of trust between her and her audience. She also goes on to say that she will “live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, my honor and my blood, even the dust.” By sharing that she will stand by her people no matter what, her audience can clearly see how loyal Queen Elizabeth was and how much she loved her people. Queen Elizabeth’s tone and her affectionate word choice towards her people, gave her audience someone to trust during this scary and unknown time, which proves that she was a great leader overall.

After establishing a sense of trust, Queen Elizabeth now focuses on her power and shifts into a more urgent and patriotic tone in order to inspire her people and army to protect England with all they have. She acknowledges that she has “the body but of a weak and feeble woman” but she also highlights that she has the “heart and stomach of a king.” This imagery provokes her audience to see outside of her gender and more into how much she loves her people and how far she will go to protect them. She continues with a forceful tone, claiming that if any prince “should dare invade the borders of my realm”, she herself “will take up arms”. By revealing that she is one with them in this battle, Queen Elizabeth inspires her army to do the same. She ends her speech by claiming that “we shall shortly have a famous victory,” which identifies how confident she is that they will win. Queen Elizabeths powerful use of imagery and tone at the end of her speech, arouses the audience and gives them a sense of duty to England. She proves that she is a exemplary leader again when she successfully conveys that she is not just the queen of England, she is also a soldier for her country.

Queen Elizabeths passionate speech for her country demonstrated she was a great leader. During her time, it was men who dominated society, but she was the one who bought England into its Golden Age, not a man. She had to convince her country, that even as a woman, she was going to bring victory to England. She crafted her speech with passion and inspiration in order to convey that she loved her people and that she was ready to do anything to prevent the threat of the Europe Prince as well as provoke a sense of patriotism and trust. During this threat, Queen Elizabeth proved that she was a great leader, and because of that, England was able to rise.

Good thesis! I would maybe briefly mention rhetorical devices “Elizabeth successfully inspires her people using rhetorical devices…” to tie in to the prompt more specifically and “respond to it” persay. If your teacher told you to write it as you have written it here, then just keep writing as you have been  I think your reference of a tone shift and imagery coupled with strong analysis of Queen Elizabeth’s loyalty and inspiration of army contributes to a strong line of reasoning and therefore I think you earn four points on evidence & commentary. Make sure Queen Elizabeth's has an apostrophe 

Good job with the conclusion that brings in relevance of her rhetorical choices, something that I think you also tie in throughout the essay (“proves that she is a[n] exemplary leader again”). Fantastic 6 / 6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 6

As a female ruler of the time, Queen Elizabeth I broke established societal rules for women and was able to successfully rule and protect England during difficult times. She united the nation through her speech and assured them they would be protected by their country. Through the use of anaphora and juxtaposition, Queen Elizabeth I was able to unite and grant confidence in England under her subjects.

The possessive pronoun “my”, takes responsibility for the actions and the influence of the speaker. Here, Queen Elizabeth I uses “my” repetitively in the same sentence as a form of anaphora. She says, “to lay down for my God, my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood.” As a ruler, these would be Queen Elizabeth I’s, yet the use of anaphora also emphasizes each of these things. Putting her kingdom and her people after God but before her honor and blood show that their safety is almost more important to God in her eyes and their harm would, therefore, affect her honor. She also may be implying that she is instilling the power and influence of God himself, as Queen Elizabeth I was Protestant. Through this, she can provide deeper confidence toward her subjects, showing she will protect them through God and her power no matter what, or else it will deeply transform her. Queen Elizabeth I was emphasizing personal responsibility as if her belongings and identities themselves had a responsibility in the protection of her subjects whom she needed to establish trust with. Queen Elizabeth I also uses anaphora with “my” when she concludes her speech, saying “of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” Queen Elizabeth I is ensuring to her subjects that through the influence of her identities and possessions, England and its subjects will be successful in the Spanish Armada as they eventually were. Again, repeating “my” emphasizes that she will put all she can towards defeating Spain and protecting her people and their religion. As Spain was trying to bring Catholicism, Queen Elizabeth I wanted to protect the Protestant church in England. This is also why she emphasizes God being hers, not the Catholic God, and the beliefs of the Catholic church. With many subjects also being Protestant, this would have been a strong appeal of support, which was Queen Elizabeth I’s ultimate goal of the speech. The use of “my” also separates herself from the “majestic plural” of “our” which would have also been used to refer to herself. This again places a deeper sense of personal responsibility onto Queen Elizabeth I. While “we” may seem simple, it ultimately can possess a significant load of power in its use.

A powerful statement made by Queen Elizabeth I was when she used juxtaposition when she compared herself to a king. She said, “I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king.” This quote is ironic yet true, as Queen Elizabeth I was able to successfully rule and protect England for 45 years. Here, Queen Elizabeth I compares women to kings in drastically different ways, yet can justify how they can work together towards success, like a ying-yang. Being a feeble woman allows her to have a peaceful, soft way about her while being king-like allows her to be a firm ruler and make potent decisions. This blend of the two extremes in one ruler allows her to be able to appeal to more subjects who will instill their trust in her. She also uses this to put down any unnecessary doubts established by society about her in charge as a woman to again gain their support and unite them to protect England. Queen Elizabeth I was able to be a just yet firm leader, allowing her to defeat Spain and protect the subjects of England, even as a woman.

Queen Elizabeth I had a strong influence over England, even as a female ruler over 400 years ago. Her power and control over her kingdom were met with her soft, feminine side, allowing her to take personal responsibility for her subjects and further unite them with support. Without Queen Elizabeth I, England may not have entered the Golden Age or had the influence in history it has.

Great job mentioning author’s purpose and rhetorical devices in the thesis. You earn the thesis point. Good job with noting anaphora and tying in relevance to religion! I think you do a great job of juxtaposition to show Queen Elizabeth’s complexities. Great job with historical context at the end. You have a great line of reasoning and an argument that flows very nicely with specific evidence and great commentary to supplement. Four points here in evidence & commentary.

You do a great job at tackling sophistication! You mention the significance/relevance of certain rhetorical choices such as the reference towards God and the complexities of that seemingly contradictory quote. Great 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 7

Before England’s Golden Age, it had successfully defeated the Spanish Armada under Queen Elizabeth I. Although she lived in a male-dominated society, she was able to prepare her countrymen for the attack of the Spanish Armada so that they were able to stop it before it reached the shore. In order to achieve this purpose of preparing the citizens of England for the possible invasion by the Spanish Armada, she wrote a speech to the land forces at Tilbury in which she creates a loving and optimistic tone as well as explains that she is as mentally and emotionally strong as a king even though she is a woman.

Elizabeth begins her speech by using friendly diction to create a loving tone. She addresses her audience with the phrase “my loving people.” This creates the feeling that they are all in one family that is supporting and taking care of each other. It also implies that Elizabeth wants everyone to unite and feel connected so that they can work together to defeat Spain. Her audience feels a sense of security which decreases any anxiety or fear that they might have regarding the threat of the attack. They realize that she is not a kind of a ruler that applies force to get people to obey her orders, but instead loves her countrymen dearly and speaks to them softly. By hearing this at the very beginning of her speech, her audience will feel more inclined to listen to her and follow her suggestions during the rest of the speech.

Elizabeth goes on to juxtaposing her feminine body and a “heart and stomach of a king.” This means that even though she is a woman, she has a manly personality and has the same feelings and thoughts as a king would. Through this contrast, she succeeds in alleviating her audience’s fears that she will not be a capable ruler due to the fact that she is a woman. This was extremely important for her audience to understand since they were living in a society where women were viewed as inferior and simple-minded compared to men. During the second half of the 16th century, many people thought that women were meant to do only domestic jobs like cooking and cleaning, and only men were capable of governing society. Women were discouraged from expressing their opinions about their husband’s responsibilities like politics and getting a solid education. By admitting that she has a body “of a weak and feeble woman,” she acknowledges this view of women shared by her audience. However, she tries to indicate that she is a special instance and should not be considered the same as other women. Therefore, her land forces her to trust and follow her orders as if they had come from a king.

In 1558, Queen Elizabeth I wrote a letter to her land forces at Tilbury regarding the threat of the Spanish Armada. She proceeded to explain that it is her honorable duty to serve everyone in England. She does this by creating a loving tone right from the beginning of her speech and emphasizing that she is as capable as a king of England. She reminds us that love and support for each other triumphs above the weaknesses of a woman.

Good job mentioning the purpose and mentioning tone as a literary device - I think you aren’t restating the prompt here so as a result you get the thesis point 

In terms of evidence & commentary, I think your reference to diction and tone here is great analysis - it’s very specific and also ties in to your commentary about decreasing anxiety. Moreover, your contextual application of the 16th century and women here is useful and definitely brings in a more in-depth area of analysis. I think your argument about trust is valid. Four points for evidence & commentary.

You did great with SOC!! I think you would earn sophistication in this instance, although it wouldn’t hurt to also maybe tie in her role as a woman in the first body paragraph although that’s not required. Great 6/6 essay.

Short Essay Practice Submission 8

Queen Elizabeth I was a strong female leader, the first of her kind in England. When her country went to war, many citizens were hesitant that a woman could bring the, then all-powerful, country the victory and guide them just as well as a male counterpart. In her speech to the commonfolk, Queen Elizabeth I uses impactful diction/syntax and metaphors throughout in an effort to convince her audience of her dedication to her people and to convince them of her own qualifications.

Queen Elizabeth I first opens by laying out the situation to her pupils. By using intense word choices and impactful images, she “assure[s]” them that “in the midst and heat of the battle,” she will “live and die amongst you all.” She uses this intense moment of climax, perhaps full of fear, to steer the citizen’s attention toward her own devotion to the war effort. By using such intense word usage, she is able to better hit home her point that despite a dreadful sitaution, she will not waver in the time of fear. The people will best respond to such a confident leader, and Elizabeth hopes that these tactics will instill confidence in themselves as well. She closes with another impactful statement that “by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and your valor in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory.” The Queen uses the repetitive sentence structure and parallelism exemplified here throughout her speech to best grasp the attention of her audience and builds their attention to the final point of her statement, in this case, a most famous victory. This directs her people away from the opening remarks of “treachery” and towards the ultimate win, all along the way attempting to boost the troops’ confidence.

Often in the wild, to make themselves appear more intimidating, animals will create an image or make themselves appear larger. Queen Elizabeth I uses this exact tactic in her own speech. By using metaphors for herself, she conveys herself to the people as a most powerful jack of all trades, creating a sense of security in her own image. First, she addresses that despite having “the body but of a weak and feeble woman”, she has “the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.” She reassures the people that even though she may be a female, she knows what is expected of her and she insists she is able to withstand the pressures and responsibilities the title holds. She even uses this sentiment to uplift her mother country, implying that the King of England is not like that of any common King. Elizabeth places herself atop of her throne and creates an air of royalty to her people in this metaphor allowing the people to place trust in her words and actions, and encouraging them towards victory. She further promotes herself when she states that “I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.” This shows the people that the Queen understands that her role is beyond that of a title, a figurehead. She will rise to the occasion and bring to them a required responsibility of all of these well-respected titles. By using this metaphor, Queen Elizabeth I instills a sense of purpose in herself and will to fight in those listening to her. Without her insistence of everyone’s role and her own ability to fulfill all these she lists, the people are discouraged and frankly, unconvinced of her and their own all-encompassing power.

To hit home her dedication to her country and her belief in her people, Queen Elizabeth goes as far as to join her people in their square. To initially create her sense of power, dressed in armor, Queen Elizabeth delivers a most awe-inspiring speech filled with impactful diction, climactic parallelism, and metaphors creating qualifying images of herself and the troops in an effort to inspire them and instill a level of confidence in all for themselves and England. Without such a historical speech, the people of England may not have been motivated to fight for a “feeble” Queen and may not have had confidence in their own recently endangered country. With her wise words, the troops go forth with a sense of importance and newfound appreciation for thier ruler.

Love the thesis with references to rhetorical devices and a purpose. You earn the thesis point. I love the specific evidence that is incorporated in your evidence & commentary. You bring in a great argument about how Queen Elizabeth instills a sense of purpose in herself and rises to the occasion. You earn all four points in evidence & commentary in my opinion. In terms of sophistication, this is a bit harder line to draw. I don’t necessarily think that you talk about the  relevance or significance  of rhetorical choices. You reference to complexities is not really pursued (comparing the body of a week/feeble woman + heart/stomach of king). Thus, you end with a 5/6! Great job.

Short Essay Practice Submission 9

During times of predicaments, the leaders’ abilities are truly tested. And their failure or success could be the difference between the countries’ triumph and annihilation. In 1588, England’s fate lay in peril as the threat of Spanish Armada’s invasion seemed inevitable. And the leader of this male dominated nation in crisis was a woman: Queen Elizabeth I. In her address to Tilbury land forces, Queen Elizabeth proved to be an effective leader that could not only lead the nation but also transcend any gender barriers that existed at the time. By appealing to national identity and by refuting the notion that her sex will hinder her ability to lead, Queen Elizabeth implores the land forces at Tilbury to unite under her leadership to defeat the Spanish. Doing so encourages the Tilbury land forces, who are all men, to follow Queen Elizabeth’s leadership, even if she is a woman, for the good of England.

Queen Elizabeth commences her address about the need to unite in the time of crisis by appealing to the national identity, specifically noting her reliance on her subjects, as she placed her “chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts” of her subjects. Given that Queen Elizabeth, a noble, is addressing soldiers, who are common men, at Tilbury, her appeal to national identity remains particularly poignant as it reveals that that despite her title, Queen Elizabeth needs the help of her subjects in order to persevere through this national crisis. And by doing so, Queen Elizabeth makes herself more relatable to the soldiers as they begin to view the queen as just another concerned individual who is fighting for England. Having thoroughly established her argument that she needs the help of her subjects, Queen Elizabeth furthers her appeal to national identity by emphasizing her readiness to “live and die amongst” the soldiers and fight for her “God”, her “kingdom”, and her “people”. And by doing so, Elizabeth further breaks down the notion that she will sit idly by and let the commons do the dirty work. Which in turn, enhances her credibility to the soldiers, who are common men, who now recognizes Queen Elizabeth is a leader who is willing to lead from the frontlines. Therefore, it is imperative for each member of the Tilbury land forces to do their part and unite under Queen Elizabeth to fight for their homeland.

Queen Elizabeth continues to convey her ability to lead England during this time of crisis by refuting the notion that her sex will hinder her ability to lead, particularly emphasizing that she may have a body of “a weak and feeble women”, but she has the “heart and stomach of a king”. Given that Queen Elizabeth is a woman addressing a group of men during a time of patriarchy, this dichotomy proves potent in challenging any unspoken reservations about her ability to lead due to her gender. Queen Elizabeth furthers breaks down the notion of her sex being a hinderance in her leadership by saying “I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge…” And by repeating the phrase “I myself” in front of actions and positions that are synonymous with masculinity and matriarchy, Queen Elizabeth skillfully demonstrates that she will take it upon herself to move past gender stereotypes and crown herself to assume positions that are held by men for the good of England. Which in turn, will force the land forces at Tilbury, who are all men, to view Queen Elizabeth not as a “weak and feeble women”, but as a “king” who will protect her “God”, her “kingdom”, and her “people”.

Great thesis statement and introduction paragraph that brought in context. I think your evidence and commentary is strong, as you talk about how Queen Elizabeth has made herself “more relatable” and how it convined the Tilbury land forces to unite. Your commentary and line of reasoning is strong throughout the two body paragraphs, and thus I give you four points on evidence & commentary. Moreover, your analysis of the masculine vs feminine conflict is very in-depth and earns you the sophistication point here in my opinion. Great 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 10

Queen Elizabeth I, under imminent threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada, makes a speech to her army and through the use of rhetorical strategies aims to inspire faith in her as their leader in order to rally her forces to fight against the Spanish.

Throughout her speech Queen Elizabeth emphasizes her god given right to be queen. She states “I have always so behaved myself that, under God,” she has made her decision. That she enters this battle to “lay down for my God,” and assures that their army will have victory “over those enemies of my God.” Her repeated allusions to God serve as a reminder to the soldiers that as a British monarch she has a god given right to rule and lead her people. She utilizes these reminder of her divinity in order to build the army’s trust in her and their faith in her decisions.

Queen Elizabeth moves to connect herself with her soldiers and emphasizes that she is on the field fighting with them. She appeals to the camaraderie of her forces by explaining that she has “come amongst you all” to “live and die amongst you all,” and that she “will take up arms, I myself will be your general.” She emphasizes her involvement in the battle in order to appeal to ethos and allow her soldiers to trust her by going far enough to join them in their fight. This works to inspire the soldier’s faith in her as their leader as they understand she believes in their cause so much as to join them in the fight. She continues this appeal to camaraderie through the use of the first person. She begins almost every clause with the word “I”, she says “I have always behaved myself”, “I know already,” “I have the heart ad stomach of a king” and many more instances of using the word “I”. She is emphasizing that all her decisions are her own and she truly believes in their cause, she is combating the image of an aloof monarch with no stake in her people. Her display in faith to her military works to build on the soldier’s trust in her.

As a female queen in the 16th century, Queen Elizabeth faced a lot of doubt in her ability to be a strong leader and make good decisions for the prosperity of her people due to the misogynistic and patriarchal ideals in society at the time. On this day in 1588 on the fields of Tilbury, it was vital that the queen convince her soldiers of her strength as their leader and that the her decisions that brought them to this battle were for the the good of England, so that her soldier might fight valiantly and they will defeat the Spanish.

Good job with the thesis point - very straightforward with mention of rhetorical devices and author’s purpose; this is how I wrote my thesis  In terms of evidence & commentary, your reference/argument about God is very intriguing and the god-given right argument is great context that demonstrates significance. Moreover, I think your argument about seeming relatable is very strong with the mention of I. Thus, you earn all four evidence & commentary points. In terms of sophistication, I think you do earn it because you expound about the relevance of God and mention the significance of the time period. Great 6/6 essay!

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