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Everyone struggles with homework sometimes, but if getting your homework done has become a chronic issue for you, then you may need a little extra help. That’s why we’ve written this article all about how to do homework. Once you’re finished reading it, you’ll know how to do homework (and have tons of new ways to motivate yourself to do homework)!

We’ve broken this article down into a few major sections. You’ll find:

• A diagnostic test to help you figure out why you’re struggling with homework
• A discussion of the four major homework problems students face, along with expert tips for addressing them
• A bonus section with tips for how to do homework fast

By the end of this article, you’ll be prepared to tackle whatever homework assignments your teachers throw at you .

So let’s get started!

How to Do Homework: Figure Out Your Struggles 

Sometimes it feels like everything is standing between you and getting your homework done. But the truth is, most people only have one or two major roadblocks that are keeping them from getting their homework done well and on time. 

The best way to figure out how to get motivated to do homework starts with pinpointing the issues that are affecting your ability to get your assignments done. That’s why we’ve developed a short quiz to help you identify the areas where you’re struggling. 

Take the quiz below and record your answers on your phone or on a scrap piece of paper. Keep in mind there are no wrong answers! 

1. You’ve just been assigned an essay in your English class that’s due at the end of the week. What’s the first thing you do?

A. Keep it in mind, even though you won’t start it until the day before it’s due  B. Open up your planner. You’ve got to figure out when you’ll write your paper since you have band practice, a speech tournament, and your little sister’s dance recital this week, too.  C. Groan out loud. Another essay? You could barely get yourself to write the last one!  D. Start thinking about your essay topic, which makes you think about your art project that’s due the same day, which reminds you that your favorite artist might have just posted to Instagram...so you better check your feed right now. 

2. Your mom asked you to pick up your room before she gets home from work. You’ve just gotten home from school. You decide you’ll tackle your chores: 

A. Five minutes before your mom walks through the front door. As long as it gets done, who cares when you start?  B. As soon as you get home from your shift at the local grocery store.  C. After you give yourself a 15-minute pep talk about how you need to get to work.  D. You won’t get it done. Between texts from your friends, trying to watch your favorite Netflix show, and playing with your dog, you just lost track of time! 

3. You’ve signed up to wash dogs at the Humane Society to help earn money for your senior class trip. You: 

A. Show up ten minutes late. You put off leaving your house until the last minute, then got stuck in unexpected traffic on the way to the shelter.  B. Have to call and cancel at the last minute. You forgot you’d already agreed to babysit your cousin and bake cupcakes for tomorrow’s bake sale.  C. Actually arrive fifteen minutes early with extra brushes and bandanas you picked up at the store. You’re passionate about animals, so you’re excited to help out! D. Show up on time, but only get three dogs washed. You couldn’t help it: you just kept getting distracted by how cute they were!

4. You have an hour of downtime, so you decide you’re going to watch an episode of The Great British Baking Show. You: 

A. Scroll through your social media feeds for twenty minutes before hitting play, which means you’re not able to finish the whole episode. Ugh! You really wanted to see who was sent home!  B. Watch fifteen minutes until you remember you’re supposed to pick up your sister from band practice before heading to your part-time job. No GBBO for you!  C. You finish one episode, then decide to watch another even though you’ve got SAT studying to do. It’s just more fun to watch people make scones.  D. Start the episode, but only catch bits and pieces of it because you’re reading Twitter, cleaning out your backpack, and eating a snack at the same time.

5. Your teacher asks you to stay after class because you’ve missed turning in two homework assignments in a row. When she asks you what’s wrong, you say: 

A. You planned to do your assignments during lunch, but you ran out of time. You decided it would be better to turn in nothing at all than submit unfinished work.  B. You really wanted to get the assignments done, but between your extracurriculars, family commitments, and your part-time job, your homework fell through the cracks.  C. You have a hard time psyching yourself to tackle the assignments. You just can’t seem to find the motivation to work on them once you get home.  D. You tried to do them, but you had a hard time focusing. By the time you realized you hadn’t gotten anything done, it was already time to turn them in. 

Like we said earlier, there are no right or wrong answers to this quiz (though your results will be better if you answered as honestly as possible). Here’s how your answers break down: 

• If your answers were mostly As, then your biggest struggle with doing homework is procrastination. 
• If your answers were mostly Bs, then your biggest struggle with doing homework is time management. 
• If your answers were mostly Cs, then your biggest struggle with doing homework is motivation. 
• If your answers were mostly Ds, then your biggest struggle with doing homework is getting distracted. 

Now that you’ve identified why you’re having a hard time getting your homework done, we can help you figure out how to fix it! Scroll down to find your core problem area to learn more about how you can start to address it. 

And one more thing: you’re really struggling with homework, it’s a good idea to read through every section below. You may find some additional tips that will help make homework less intimidating. 

How to Do Homework When You’re a Procrastinator  

Merriam Webster defines “procrastinate” as “to put off intentionally and habitually.” In other words, procrastination is when you choose to do something at the last minute on a regular basis. If you’ve ever found yourself pulling an all-nighter, trying to finish an assignment between periods, or sprinting to turn in a paper minutes before a deadline, you’ve experienced the effects of procrastination. 

If you’re a chronic procrastinator, you’re in good company. In fact, one study found that 70% to 95% of undergraduate students procrastinate when it comes to doing their homework. Unfortunately, procrastination can negatively impact your grades. Researchers have found that procrastination can lower your grade on an assignment by as much as five points ...which might not sound serious until you realize that can mean the difference between a B- and a C+. 

Procrastination can also negatively affect your health by increasing your stress levels , which can lead to other health conditions like insomnia, a weakened immune system, and even heart conditions. Getting a handle on procrastination can not only improve your grades, it can make you feel better, too! 

The big thing to understand about procrastination is that it’s not the result of laziness. Laziness is defined as being “disinclined to activity or exertion.” In other words, being lazy is all about doing nothing. But a s this Psychology Today article explains , procrastinators don’t put things off because they don’t want to work. Instead, procrastinators tend to postpone tasks they don’t want to do in favor of tasks that they perceive as either more important or more fun. Put another way, procrastinators want to do things...as long as it’s not their homework! 

3 Tips f or Conquering Procrastination 

Because putting off doing homework is a common problem, there are lots of good tactics for addressing procrastination. Keep reading for our three expert tips that will get your homework habits back on track in no time. 

#1: Create a Reward System

Like we mentioned earlier, procrastination happens when you prioritize other activities over getting your homework done. Many times, this happens because homework...well, just isn’t enjoyable. But you can add some fun back into the process by rewarding yourself for getting your work done. 

Here’s what we mean: let’s say you decide that every time you get your homework done before the day it’s due, you’ll give yourself a point. For every five points you earn, you’ll treat yourself to your favorite dessert: a chocolate cupcake! Now you have an extra (delicious!) incentive to motivate you to leave procrastination in the dust. 

If you’re not into cupcakes, don’t worry. Your reward can be anything that motivates you . Maybe it’s hanging out with your best friend or an extra ten minutes of video game time. As long as you’re choosing something that makes homework worth doing, you’ll be successful. 

#2: Have a Homework Accountability Partner 

If you’re having trouble getting yourself to start your homework ahead of time, it may be a good idea to call in reinforcements . Find a friend or classmate you can trust and explain to them that you’re trying to change your homework habits. Ask them if they’d be willing to text you to make sure you’re doing your homework and check in with you once a week to see if you’re meeting your anti-procrastination goals. 

Sharing your goals can make them feel more real, and an accountability partner can help hold you responsible for your decisions. For example, let’s say you’re tempted to put off your science lab write-up until the morning before it’s due. But you know that your accountability partner is going to text you about it tomorrow...and you don’t want to fess up that you haven’t started your assignment. A homework accountability partner can give you the extra support and incentive you need to keep your homework habits on track. 

#3: Create Your Own Due Dates 

If you’re a life-long procrastinator, you might find that changing the habit is harder than you expected. In that case, you might try using procrastination to your advantage! If you just can’t seem to stop doing your work at the last minute, try setting your own due dates for assignments that range from a day to a week before the assignment is actually due. 

Here’s what we mean. Let’s say you have a math worksheet that’s been assigned on Tuesday and is due on Friday. In your planner, you can write down the due date as Thursday instead. You may still put off your homework assignment until the last minute...but in this case, the “last minute” is a day before the assignment’s real due date . This little hack can trick your procrastination-addicted brain into planning ahead! 

If you feel like Kevin Hart in this meme, then our tips for doing homework when you're busy are for you. 

How to Do Homework When You’re too Busy

If you’re aiming to go to a top-tier college , you’re going to have a full plate. Because college admissions is getting more competitive, it’s important that you’re maintaining your grades , studying hard for your standardized tests , and participating in extracurriculars so your application stands out. A packed schedule can get even more hectic once you add family obligations or a part-time job to the mix. 

If you feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions at once, you’re not alone. Recent research has found that stress—and more severe stress-related conditions like anxiety and depression— are a major problem for high school students . In fact, one study from the American Psychological Association found that during the school year, students’ stress levels are higher than those of the adults around them. 

For students, homework is a major contributor to their overall stress levels . Many high schoolers have multiple hours of homework every night , and figuring out how to fit it into an already-packed schedule can seem impossible. 

3 Tips for Fitting Homework Into Your Busy Schedule

While it might feel like you have literally no time left in your schedule, there are still ways to make sure you’re able to get your homework done and meet your other commitments. Here are our expert homework tips for even the busiest of students. 

#1: Make a Prioritized To-Do List 

You probably already have a to-do list to keep yourself on track. The next step is to prioritize the items on your to-do list so you can see what items need your attention right away. 

Here’s how it works: at the beginning of each day, sit down and make a list of all the items you need to get done before you go to bed. This includes your homework, but it should also take into account any practices, chores, events, or job shifts you may have. Once you get everything listed out, it’s time to prioritize them using the labels A, B, and C. Here’s what those labels mean:

• A Tasks : tasks that have to get done—like showing up at work or turning in an assignment—get an A. 
• B Tasks : these are tasks that you would like to get done by the end of the day but aren’t as time sensitive. For example, studying for a test you have next week could be a B-level task. It’s still important, but it doesn’t have to be done right away.
• C Tasks: these are tasks that aren’t very important and/or have no real consequences if you don’t get them done immediately. For instance, if you’re hoping to clean out your closet but it’s not an assigned chore from your parents, you could label that to-do item with a C.

Prioritizing your to-do list helps you visualize which items need your immediate attention, and which items you can leave for later. A prioritized to-do list ensures that you’re spending your time efficiently and effectively, which helps you make room in your schedule for homework. So even though you might really want to start making decorations for Homecoming (a B task), you’ll know that finishing your reading log (an A task) is more important. 

#2: Use a Planner With Time Labels

Your planner is probably packed with notes, events, and assignments already. (And if you’re not using a planner, it’s time to start!) But planners can do more for you than just remind you when an assignment is due. If you’re using a planner with time labels, it can help you visualize how you need to spend your day.

A planner with time labels breaks your day down into chunks, and you assign tasks to each chunk of time. For example, you can make a note of your class schedule with assignments, block out time to study, and make sure you know when you need to be at practice. Once you know which tasks take priority, you can add them to any empty spaces in your day. 

Planning out how you spend your time not only helps you use it wisely, it can help you feel less overwhelmed, too . We’re big fans of planners that include a task list ( like this one ) or have room for notes ( like this one ). 

#3: Set Reminders on Your Phone 

If you need a little extra nudge to make sure you’re getting your homework done on time, it’s a good idea to set some reminders on your phone. You don’t need a fancy app, either. You can use your alarm app to have it go off at specific times throughout the day to remind you to do your homework. This works especially well if you have a set homework time scheduled. So if you’ve decided you’re doing homework at 6:00 pm, you can set an alarm to remind you to bust out your books and get to work. 

If you use your phone as your planner, you may have the option to add alerts, emails, or notifications to scheduled events . Many calendar apps, including the one that comes with your phone, have built-in reminders that you can customize to meet your needs. So if you block off time to do your homework from 4:30 to 6:00 pm, you can set a reminder that will pop up on your phone when it’s time to get started. 

This dog isn't judging your lack of motivation...but your teacher might. Keep reading for tips to help you motivate yourself to do your homework.

How to Do Homework When You’re Unmotivated 

At first glance, it may seem like procrastination and being unmotivated are the same thing. After all, both of these issues usually result in you putting off your homework until the very last minute. 

But there’s one key difference: many procrastinators are working, they’re just prioritizing work differently. They know they’re going to start their homework...they’re just going to do it later. 

Conversely, people who are unmotivated to do homework just can’t find the willpower to tackle their assignments. Procrastinators know they’ll at least attempt the homework at the last minute, whereas people who are unmotivated struggle with convincing themselves to do it at a ll. For procrastinators, the stress comes from the inevitable time crunch. For unmotivated people, the stress comes from trying to convince themselves to do something they don’t want to do in the first place. 

Here are some common reasons students are unmotivated in doing homework : 

• Assignments are too easy, too hard, or seemingly pointless 
• Students aren’t interested in (or passionate about) the subject matter
• Students are intimidated by the work and/or feels like they don’t understand the assignment 
• Homework isn’t fun, and students would rather spend their time on things that they enjoy 

To sum it up: people who lack motivation to do their homework are more likely to not do it at all, or to spend more time worrying about doing their homework than...well, actually doing it.

3 Tips for How to Get Motivated to Do Homework

The key to getting homework done when you’re unmotivated is to figure out what does motivate you, then apply those things to homework. It sounds tricky...but it’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it! Here are our three expert tips for motivating yourself to do your homework. 

#1: Use Incremental Incentives

When you’re not motivated, it’s important to give yourself small rewards to stay focused on finishing the task at hand. The trick is to keep the incentives small and to reward yourself often. For example, maybe you’re reading a good book in your free time. For every ten minutes you spend on your homework, you get to read five pages of your book. Like we mentioned earlier, make sure you’re choosing a reward that works for you! 

So why does this technique work? Using small rewards more often allows you to experience small wins for getting your work done. Every time you make it to one of your tiny reward points, you get to celebrate your success, which gives your brain a boost of dopamine . Dopamine helps you stay motivated and also creates a feeling of satisfaction when you complete your homework !  

#2: Form a Homework Group 

If you’re having trouble motivating yourself, it’s okay to turn to others for support. Creating a homework group can help with this. Bring together a group of your friends or classmates, and pick one time a week where you meet and work on homework together. You don’t have to be in the same class, or even taking the same subjects— the goal is to encourage one another to start (and finish!) your assignments. 

Another added benefit of a homework group is that you can help one another if you’re struggling to understand the material covered in your classes. This is especially helpful if your lack of motivation comes from being intimidated by your assignments. Asking your friends for help may feel less scary than talking to your teacher...and once you get a handle on the material, your homework may become less frightening, too. 

#3: Change Up Your Environment 

If you find that you’re totally unmotivated, it may help if you find a new place to do your homework. For example, if you’ve been struggling to get your homework done at home, try spending an extra hour in the library after school instead. The change of scenery can limit your distractions and give you the energy you need to get your work done. 

If you’re stuck doing homework at home, you can still use this tip. For instance, maybe you’ve always done your homework sitting on your bed. Try relocating somewhere else, like your kitchen table, for a few weeks. You may find that setting up a new “homework spot” in your house gives you a motivational lift and helps you get your work done. 

Social media can be a huge problem when it comes to doing homework. We have advice for helping you unplug and regain focus.

How to Do Homework When You’re Easily Distracted

We live in an always-on world, and there are tons of things clamoring for our attention. From friends and family to pop culture and social media, it seems like there’s always something (or someone!) distracting us from the things we need to do.

The 24/7 world we live in has affected our ability to focus on tasks for prolonged periods of time. Research has shown that over the past decade, an average person’s attention span has gone from 12 seconds to eight seconds . And when we do lose focus, i t takes people a long time to get back on task . One study found that it can take as long as 23 minutes to get back to work once we’ve been distracte d. No wonder it can take hours to get your homework done! 

3 Tips to Improve Your Focus

If you have a hard time focusing when you’re doing your homework, it’s a good idea to try and eliminate as many distractions as possible. Here are three expert tips for blocking out the noise so you can focus on getting your homework done. 

#1: Create a Distraction-Free Environment

Pick a place where you’ll do your homework every day, and make it as distraction-free as possible. Try to find a location where there won’t be tons of noise, and limit your access to screens while you’re doing your homework. Put together a focus-oriented playlist (or choose one on your favorite streaming service), and put your headphones on while you work. 

You may find that other people, like your friends and family, are your biggest distraction. If that’s the case, try setting up some homework boundaries. Let them know when you’ll be working on homework every day, and ask them if they’ll help you keep a quiet environment. They’ll be happy to lend a hand! 

#2: Limit Your Access to Technology 

We know, we know...this tip isn’t fun, but it does work. For homework that doesn’t require a computer, like handouts or worksheets, it’s best to put all your technology away . Turn off your television, put your phone and laptop in your backpack, and silence notifications on any wearable tech you may be sporting. If you listen to music while you work, that’s fine...but make sure you have a playlist set up so you’re not shuffling through songs once you get started on your homework. 

If your homework requires your laptop or tablet, it can be harder to limit your access to distractions. But it’s not impossible! T here are apps you can download that will block certain websites while you’re working so that you’re not tempted to scroll through Twitter or check your Facebook feed. Silence notifications and text messages on your computer, and don’t open your email account unless you absolutely have to. And if you don’t need access to the internet to complete your assignments, turn off your WiFi. Cutting out the online chatter is a great way to make sure you’re getting your homework done. 

#3: Set a Timer (the Pomodoro Technique)

Have you ever heard of the Pomodoro technique ? It’s a productivity hack that uses a timer to help you focus!

Here’s how it works: first, set a timer for 25 minutes. This is going to be your work time. During this 25 minutes, all you can do is work on whatever homework assignment you have in front of you. No email, no text messaging, no phone calls—just homework. When that timer goes off, you get to take a 5 minute break. Every time you go through one of these cycles, it’s called a “pomodoro.” For every four pomodoros you complete, you can take a longer break of 15 to 30 minutes.

The pomodoro technique works through a combination of boundary setting and rewards. First, it gives you a finite amount of time to focus, so you know that you only have to work really hard for 25 minutes. Once you’ve done that, you’re rewarded with a short break where you can do whatever you want. Additionally, tracking how many pomodoros you complete can help you see how long you’re really working on your homework. (Once you start using our focus tips, you may find it doesn’t take as long as you thought!)

Two Bonus Tips for How to Do Homework Fast

Even if you’re doing everything right, there will be times when you just need to get your homework done as fast as possible. (Why do teachers always have projects due in the same week? The world may never know.)

The problem with speeding through homework is that it’s easy to make mistakes. While turning in an assignment is always better than not submitting anything at all, you want to make sure that you’re not compromising quality for speed. Simply put, the goal is to get your homework done quickly and still make a good grade on the assignment! 

Here are our two bonus tips for getting a decent grade on your homework assignments , even when you’re in a time crunch. 

#1: Do the Easy Parts First 

This is especially true if you’re working on a handout with multiple questions. Before you start working on the assignment, read through all the questions and problems. As you do, make a mark beside the questions you think are “easy” to answer . 

Once you’ve finished going through the whole assignment, you can answer these questions first. Getting the easy questions out of the way as quickly as possible lets you spend more time on the trickier portions of your homework, which will maximize your assignment grade. 

(Quick note: this is also a good strategy to use on timed assignments and tests, like the SAT and the ACT !) 

#2: Pay Attention in Class 

Homework gets a lot easier when you’re actively learning the material. Teachers aren’t giving you homework because they’re mean or trying to ruin your weekend... it’s because they want you to really understand the course material. Homework is designed to reinforce what you’re already learning in class so you’ll be ready to tackle harder concepts later.

When you pay attention in class, ask questions, and take good notes, you’re absorbing the information you’ll need to succeed on your homework assignments. (You’re stuck in class anyway, so you might as well make the most of it!) Not only will paying attention in class make your homework less confusing, it will also help it go much faster, too.

What’s Next?

If you’re looking to improve your productivity beyond homework, a good place to begin is with time management. After all, we only have so much time in a day...so it’s important to get the most out of it! To get you started, check out this list of the 12 best time management techniques that you can start using today.

You may have read this article because homework struggles have been affecting your GPA. Now that you’re on the path to homework success, it’s time to start being proactive about raising your grades. This article teaches you everything you need to know about raising your GPA so you can

Now you know how to get motivated to do homework...but what about your study habits? Studying is just as critical to getting good grades, and ultimately getting into a good college . We can teach you how to study bette r in high school. (We’ve also got tons of resources to help you study for your ACT and SAT exams , too!)

These recommendations are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links, PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Ashley Sufflé Robinson has a Ph.D. in 19th Century English Literature. As a content writer for PrepScholar, Ashley is passionate about giving college-bound students the in-depth information they need to get into the school of their dreams.

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Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem

Exploring some options to understand and help..

Posted August 2, 2022 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

• Mental health challenges and neurodevelopmental differences directly affect children's ability to do homework.
• Understanding what difficulties are getting in the way—beyond the usual explanation of a behavior problem—is key.
• Sleep and mental health needs can take priority over homework completion.

Chelsea was in 10th grade the first time I told her directly to stop doing her homework and get some sleep. I had been working with her since she was in middle school, treating her anxiety disorder. She deeply feared disappointing anyone—especially her teachers—and spent hours trying to finish homework perfectly. The more tired and anxious she got, the harder it got for her to finish the assignments.

One night Chelsea called me in despair, feeling hopeless. She was exhausted and couldn’t think straight. She felt like a failure and that she was a burden to everyone because she couldn’t finish her homework.

She was shocked when I told her that my prescription for her was to go to sleep now—not to figure out how to finish her work. I told her to leave her homework incomplete and go to sleep. We briefly discussed how we would figure it out the next day, with her mom and her teachers. At that moment, it clicked for her that it was futile to keep working—because nothing was getting done.

This was an inflection point for her awareness of when she was emotionally over-cooked and when she needed to stop and take a break or get some sleep. We repeated versions of this phone call several times over the course of her high school and college years, but she got much better at being able to do this for herself most of the time.

When Mental Health Symptoms Interfere with Homework

Kids with mental health or neurodevelopmental challenges often struggle mightily with homework. Challenges can come up in every step of the homework process, including, but not limited to:

• Remembering and tracking assignments and materials
• Getting the mental energy/organization to start homework
• Filtering distractions enough to persist with assignments
• Understanding unspoken or implied parts of the homework
• Remembering to bring finished homework to class
• Being in class long enough to know the material
• Tolerating the fear of not knowing or failing
• Not giving up the assignment because of a panic attack
• Tolerating frustration—such as not understanding—without emotional dysregulation
• Being able to ask for help—from a peer or a teacher and not being afraid to reach out

This list is hardly comprehensive. ADHD , autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety , generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression , dysregulation, and a range of other neurodevelopmental and mental health challenges cause numerous learning differences and symptoms that can specifically and frequently interfere with getting homework done.

The Usual Diagnosis for Homework Problems is "Not Trying Hard Enough"

Unfortunately, when kids frequently struggle to meet homework demands, teachers and parents typically default to one explanation of the problem: The child is making a choice not to do their homework. That is the default “diagnosis” in classrooms and living rooms. And once this framework is drawn, the student is often seen as not trying hard enough, disrespectful, manipulative, or just plain lazy.

The fundamental disconnect here is that the diagnosis of homework struggles as a behavioral choice is, in fact, only one explanation, while there are so many other diagnoses and differences that impair children's ability to consistently do their homework. If we are trying to create solutions based on only one understanding of the problem, the solutions will not work. More devastatingly, the wrong solutions can worsen the child’s mental health and their long-term engagement with school and learning.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about children who sometimes struggle with or skip homework—kids who can change and adapt their behaviors and patterns in response to the outcomes of that struggle. For this discussion, we are talking about children with mental health and/or neurodevelopmental symptoms and challenges that create chronic difficulties with meeting homework demands.

How Can You Help a Child Who Struggles with Homework?

How can you help your child who is struggling to meet homework demands because of their ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD , school avoidance, or any other neurodevelopmental or mental health differences? Let’s break this down into two broad areas—things you can do at home, and things you can do in communication with the school.

Helping at Home

The following suggestions for managing school demands at home can feel counterintuitive to parents—because we usually focus on helping our kids to complete their tasks. But mental health needs jump the line ahead of task completion. And starting at home will be key to developing an idea of what needs to change at school.

• Set an end time in the evening after which no more homework will be attempted. Kids need time to decompress and they need sleep—and pushing homework too close to or past bedtime doesn’t serve their educational needs. Even if your child hasn’t been able to approach the homework at all, even if they have avoided and argued the whole evening, it is still important for everyone to have a predictable time to shut down the whole process.
• If there are arguments almost every night about homework, if your child isn’t starting homework or finishing it, reframe it from failure into information. It’s data to put into problem-solving. We need to consider other possible explanations besides “behavioral choice” when trying to understand the problem and create effective solutions. What problems are getting in the way of our child’s meeting homework demands that their peers are meeting most of the time?
• Try not to argue about homework. If you can check your own anxiety and frustration, it can be more productive to ally with your child and be curious with them. Kids usually can’t tell you a clear “why” but maybe they can tell you how they are feeling and what they are thinking. And if your child can’t talk about it or just keeps saying “I don't know,” try not to push. Come back another time. Rushing, forcing, yelling, and threatening will predictably not help kids do homework.

Helping at School

The second area to explore when your neurodiverse child struggles frequently with homework is building communication and connections with school and teachers. Some places to focus on include the following.

• Label your child’s diagnoses and break down specific symptoms for the teachers and school team. Nonjudgmental, but specific language is essential for teachers to understand your child’s struggles. Breaking their challenges down into the problems specific to homework can help with building solutions. As your child gets older, help them identify their difficulties and communicate them to teachers.
• Let teachers and the school team know that your child’s mental health needs—including sleep—take priority over finishing homework. If your child is always struggling to complete homework and get enough sleep, or if completing homework is leading to emotional meltdowns every night, adjusting their homework demands will be more successful than continuing to push them into sleep deprivation or meltdowns.
• Request a child study team evaluation to determine if your child qualifies for services under special education law such as an IEP, or accommodations through section 504—and be sure that homework adjustments are included in any plan. Or if such a plan is already in place, be clear that modification of homework expectations needs to be part of it.

The Long-Term Story

I still work with Chelsea and she recently mentioned how those conversations so many years ago are still part of how she approaches work tasks or other demands that are spiking her anxiety when she finds herself in a vortex of distress. She stops what she is doing and prioritizes reducing her anxiety—whether it’s a break during her day or an ending to the task for the evening. She sees that this is crucial to managing her anxiety in her life and still succeeding at what she is doing.

Task completion at all costs is not a solution for kids with emotional needs. Her story (and the story of many of my patients) make this crystal clear.

Candida Fink, M.D. , is board certified in child/adolescent and general psychiatry. She practices in New York and has co-authored two books— The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child and Bipolar Disorder for Dummies.

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Daniel Wong

30 Tips to Stop Procrastinating and Find Motivation to Do Homework

Updated on June 6, 2023 By Daniel Wong 44 Comments

To stop procrastinating on homework, you need to find motivation to do the homework in the first place.

But first, you have to overcome feeling too overwhelmed to even start.

You know what it feels like when everything hits you at once, right?

You have three tests to study for and a math assignment due tomorrow.

And you’ve got a history report due the day after.

You tell yourself to get down to work. But with so much to do, you feel overwhelmed.

So you procrastinate.

You check your social media feed, watch a few videos, and get yourself a drink. But you know that none of this is bringing you closer to getting the work done.

Does this sound familiar?

Don’t worry – you are not alone. Procrastination is a problem that everyone faces, but there are ways around it.

By following the tips in this article, you’ll be able to overcome procrastination and consistently find the motivation to do the homework .

So read on to discover 30 powerful tips to help you stop procrastinating on your homework.

Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus  3 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

How to stop procrastinating and motivate yourself to do your homework.

Procrastination when it comes to homework isn’t just an issue of laziness or a lack of motivation .

The following tips will help you to first address the root cause of your procrastination and then implement strategies to keep your motivation levels high.

1. Take a quiz to see how much you procrastinate.

The first step to changing your behavior is to become more self-aware.

How often do you procrastinate? What kinds of tasks do you tend to put off? Is procrastination a small or big problem for you?

To answer these questions, I suggest that you take this online quiz designed by Psychology Today .

2. Figure out why you’re procrastinating.

Procrastination is a complex issue that involves multiple factors.

Stop thinking of excuses for not doing your homework , and figure out what’s keeping you from getting started.

Are you procrastinating because:

• You’re not sure you’ll be able to solve all the homework problems?
• You’re subconsciously rebelling against your teachers or parents?
• You’re not interested in the subject or topic?
• You’re physically or mentally tired?
• You’re waiting for the perfect time to start?
• You don’t know where to start?

Once you’ve identified exactly why you’re procrastinating, you can pick out the tips in this article that will get to the root of the problem.

3. Write down what you’re procrastinating on.

Students tend to procrastinate when they’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

But you might be surprised to discover that simply by writing down the specific tasks you’re putting off, the situation will feel more manageable.

It’s a quick solution, and it makes a real difference.

Give it a try and you’ll be less likely to procrastinate.

4. Put your homework on your desk.

Here’s an even simpler idea.

Many times, the hardest part of getting your homework done is getting started.

It doesn’t require a lot of willpower to take out your homework and put it on your desk.

But once it’s sitting there in front of you, you’ll be much closer to actually getting down to work.

5. Break down the task into smaller steps.

This one trick will make any task seem more manageable.

For example, if you have a history report to write, you could break it down into the following steps:

• Read the history textbook
• Do online research
• Organize the information
• Create an outline
• Write the introduction
• Write the body paragraphs
• Write the conclusion
• Edit and proofread the report

Focus on just one step at a time. This way, you won’t need to motivate yourself to write the whole report at one go.

This is an important technique to use if you want to study smart and get more done .

6. Create a detailed timeline with specific deadlines.

As a follow-up to Point #5, you can further combat procrastination by creating a timeline with specific deadlines.

Using the same example above, I’ve added deadlines to each of the steps:

• Jan 30 th : Read the history textbook
• Feb 2 nd : Do online research
• Feb 3 rd : Organize the information
• Feb 5 th : Create an outline
• Feb 8 th : Write the introduction
• Feb 12 th : Write the body paragraphs
• Feb 14 th : Write the conclusion
• Feb 16 th : Edit and proofread the report

Assigning specific dates creates a sense of urgency, which makes it more likely that you’ll keep to the deadlines.

7. Spend time with people who are focused and hardworking.

Jim Rohn famously said that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

If you hang out with people who are motivated and hardworking, you’ll become more like them.

Likewise, if you hang out with people who continually procrastinate, you’ll become more like them too.

Motivation to do homework naturally increases when you surround yourself with the right people.

So choose your friends wisely. Find homework buddies who will influence you positively to become a straight-A student who leads a balanced life.

That doesn’t mean you can’t have any fun! It just means that you and your friends know when it’s time to get down to work and when it’s time to enjoy yourselves.

8. Tell at least two or three people about the tasks you plan to complete.

When you tell others about the tasks you intend to finish, you’ll be more likely to follow through with your plans.

This is called “accountability,” and it kicks in because you want to be seen as someone who keeps your word.

So if you know about this principle, why not use it to your advantage?

You could even ask a friend to be your accountability buddy. At the beginning of each day, you could text each other what you plan to work on that day.

Then at the end of the day, you could check in with each other to see if things went according to plan.

9. Change your environment .

Maybe it’s your environment that’s making you feel sluggish.

When you’re doing your homework, is your super-comfortable bed just two steps away? Or is your distracting computer within easy reach?

If your environment is part of your procrastination problem, then change it.

Sometimes all you need is a simple change of scenery. Bring your work to the dining room table and get it done there. Or head to a nearby café to complete your report.

10. Talk to people who have overcome their procrastination problem.

If you have friends who consistently win the battle with procrastination, learn from their experience.

What was the turning point for them? What tips and strategies do they use? What keeps them motivated?

Find all this out, and then apply the information to your own situation.

11. Decide on a reward to give yourself after you complete your task.

“Planned” rewards are a great way to motivate yourself to do your homework.

The reward doesn’t have to be something huge.

For instance, you might decide that after you finish 10 questions of your math homework, you get to watch your favorite TV show.

Or you might decide that after reading one chapter of your history textbook, you get to spend 10 minutes on Facebook.

By giving yourself a reward, you’ll feel more motivated to get through the task at hand.

12. Decide on a consequence you’ll impose on yourself if you don’t meet the deadline.

It’s important that you decide on what the consequence will be before you start working toward your goal.

As an example, you could tell your younger brother that you’ll give him $1 for every deadline you don’t meet (see Point #6).

Or you could decide that you’ll delete one game from your phone for every late homework submission.

Those consequences would probably be painful enough to help you get down to work, right?

13. Visualize success.

Take 30 seconds and imagine how you’ll feel when you finish your work.

What positive emotions will you experience?

Will you feel a sense of satisfaction from getting all your work done?

Will you relish the extra time on your hands when you get your homework done fast and ahead of time?

This simple exercise of visualizing success may be enough to inspire you to start doing your assignment.

14. Visualize the process it will take to achieve that success.

Even more important than visualizing the outcome is visualizing the process it will take to achieve that outcome.

Research shows that focusing on the process is critical to success. If you’re procrastinating on a task, take a few moments to think about what you’ll need to do to complete it.

Visualize the following:

• What resources you’ll need
• Who you can turn to for help
• How long the task will take
• Where you’ll work on the task
• The joy you’ll experience as you make progress

This kind of visualization is like practice for your mind.

Once you understand what’s necessary to achieve your goal, you’ll find that it’s much easier to get down to work with real focus. This is key to doing well in school .

15. Write down why you want to complete the task.

You’ll be more motivated when you’re clear about why you want to accomplish something.

To motivate yourself to do your homework, think about all the ways in which it’s a meaningful task.

So take a couple of minutes to write down the reasons. Here are some possible ones:

• Learn useful information
• Master the topic
• Enjoy a sense of accomplishment when you’ve completed the task
• Become a more focused student
• Learn to embrace challenges
• Fulfill your responsibility as a student
• Get a good grade on the assignment

16. Write down the negative feelings you’ll have if you don’t complete the task.

If you don’t complete the assignment, you might feel disappointed or discouraged. You might even feel as if you’ve let your parents or your teacher – or even yourself – down.

It isn’t wise to dwell on these negative emotions for too long. But by imagining how you’ll feel if you don’t finish the task, you’ll realize how important it is that you get to work.

17. Do the hardest task first.

Most students will choose to do the easiest task first, rather than the hardest one. But this approach isn’t effective because it leaves the worst for last.

It’s more difficult to find motivation to do homework in less enjoyable subjects.

As Brian Tracy says , “Eat that frog!” By this, he means that you should always get your most difficult task out of the way at the beginning of the day.

If math is your least favorite subject, force yourself to complete your math homework first.

After doing so, you’ll feel a surge of motivation from knowing it’s finished. And you won’t procrastinate on your other homework because it will seem easier in comparison.

(On a separate note, check out these tips on how to get better at math if you’re struggling.)

18. Set a timer when doing your homework.

I recommend that you use a stopwatch for every homework session. (If you prefer, you could also use this online stopwatch or the Tomato Timer .)

Start the timer at the beginning of the session, and work in 30- to 45-minute blocks.

Using a timer creates a sense of urgency, which will help you fight off your urge to procrastinate.

When you know you only have to work for a short session, it will be easier to find motivation to complete your homework.

Tell yourself that you need to work hard until the timer goes off, and then you can take a break. (And then be sure to take that break!)

19. Eliminate distractions.

Here are some suggestions on how you can do this:

• Delete all the games and social media apps on your phone
• Turn off all notifications on your phone
• Mute your group chats
• Archive your inactive chats
• Turn off your phone, or put it on airplane mode
• Put your phone at least 10 feet away from you
• Turn off the Internet access on your computer
• Use an app like Freedom to restrict your Internet usage
• Put any other distractions (like food, magazines and books unrelated to your homework) at the other end of the room
• Unplug the TV
• Use earplugs if your surroundings are noisy

20. At the start of each day, write down the two to three Most Important Tasks (MITs) you want to accomplish.

This will enable you to prioritize your tasks. As Josh Kaufman explains , a Most Important Task (MIT) is a critical task that will help you to get significant results down the road.

Not all tasks are equally important. That’s why it’s vital that you identify your MITs, so that you can complete those as early in the day as possible.

What do you most need to get done today? That’s an MIT.

Get to work on it, then feel the satisfaction that comes from knowing it’s out of the way.

21. Focus on progress instead of perfection.

Perfectionism can destroy your motivation to do homework and keep you from starting important assignments.

Some students procrastinate because they’re waiting for the perfect time to start.

Others do so because they want to get their homework done perfectly. But they know this isn’t really possible – so they put off even getting started.

What’s the solution?

To focus on progress instead of perfection.

There’s never a perfect time for anything. Nor will you ever be able to complete your homework perfectly. But you can do your best, and that’s enough.

So concentrate on learning and improving, and turn this into a habit that you implement whenever you study .

22. Get organized.

Procrastination is common among students who are disorganized.

When you can’t remember which assignment is due when or which tests you have coming up, you’ll naturally feel confused. You’ll experience school- and test-related stress .

This, in turn, will lead to procrastination.

That’s why it’s crucial that you get organized. Here are some tips for doing this:

• Don’t rely on your memory ; write everything down
• Keep a to-do list
• Use a student planner
• Use a calendar and take note of important dates like exams, project due dates, school holidays , birthdays, and family events
• At the end of each day, plan for the following day
• Use one binder or folder for each subject or course
• Do weekly filing of your loose papers, notes, and old homework
• Throw away all the papers and notes you no longer need

23. Stop saying “I have to” and start saying “I choose to.”

When you say things like “I have to write my essay” or “I have to finish my science assignment,” you’ll probably feel annoyed. You might be tempted to complain about your teachers or your school .

What’s the alternative?

To use the phrase “I choose to.”

The truth is, you don’t “have” to do anything.

You can choose not to write your essay; you’ll just run the risk of failing the class.

You can choose not to do your science assignment; you’ll just need to deal with your angry teacher.

When you say “I choose to do my homework,” you’ll feel empowered. This means you’ll be more motivated to study and to do what you ought to.

24. Clear your desk once a week.

Clutter can be demotivating. It also causes stress , which is often at the root of procrastination.

Hard to believe? Give it a try and see for yourself.

By clearing your desk, you’ll reduce stress and make your workspace more organized.

So set a recurring appointment to organize your workspace once a week for just 10 minutes. You’ll receive huge benefits in the long run!

25. If a task takes two minutes or less to complete, do it now.

This is a principle from David Allen’s bestselling book, Getting Things Done .

You may notice that you tend to procrastinate when many tasks pile up. The way to prevent this from happening is to take care of the small but important tasks as soon as you have time.

Here are some examples of small two-minute tasks that you should do once you have a chance:

• Replying to your project group member’s email
• Picking up anything on the floor that doesn’t belong there
• Asking your parents to sign a consent form
• Filing a graded assignment
• Making a quick phone call
• Writing a checklist
• Sending a text to schedule a meeting
• Making an online purchase that doesn’t require further research

26. Finish one task before starting on the next.

You aren’t being productive when you switch between working on your literature essay, social studies report, and physics problem set – while also intermittently checking your phone.

Research shows that multitasking is less effective than doing one thing at a time. Multitasking may even damage your brain !

When it comes to overcoming procrastination, it’s better to stick with one task all the way through before starting on the next one.

You’ll get a sense of accomplishment when you finish the first assignment, which will give you a boost of inspiration as you move on to the next one.

27. Build your focus gradually.

You can’t win the battle against procrastination overnight; it takes time. This means that you need to build your focus progressively.

If you can only focus for 10 minutes at once, that’s fine. Start with three sessions of 10 minutes a day. After a week, increase it to three sessions of 15 minutes a day, and so on.

As the weeks go by, you’ll become far more focused than when you first started. And you’ll soon see how great that makes you feel.

28. Before you start work, write down three things you’re thankful for.

Gratitude improves your psychological health and increases your mental strength .

These factors are linked to motivation. The more you practice gratitude, the easier it will be to find motivation to do your homework. As such, it’s less likely that you’ll be a serial procrastinator.

Before you get down to work for the day, write down three things you’re thankful for. These could be simple things like good health, fine weather, or a loving family.

You could even do this in a “gratitude journal,” which you can then look back on whenever you need a shot of fresh appreciation for the good things in your life.

Either way, this short exercise will get you in the right mindset to be productive.

29. Get enough sleep.

For most people, this means getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night. And teenagers need 8 to 10 hours of sleep a night to function optimally.

What does sleep have to do with procrastination?

More than you might realize.

It’s almost impossible to feel motivated when you’re tired. And when you’re low on energy, your willpower is depleted too.

That’s why you give in to the temptation of Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube videos more easily when you’re sleep-deprived.

Here are ways to get more sleep , and sleep better too:

• Create a bedtime routine
• Go to sleep at around the same time every night
• Set a daily alarm as a reminder to go to bed
• Exercise regularly (but not within a few hours of bedtime)
• Make your bedroom as dark as possible
• Remove or switch off all electronic devices before bedtime
• Avoid caffeine at least six hours before bedtime
• Use an eye mask and earplugs

30. Schedule appointments with yourself to complete your homework.

These appointments are specific blocks of time reserved for working on a report, assignment, or project. Scheduling appointments is effective because it makes the task more “official,” so you’re more likely to keep the appointment.

For example, you could schedule appointments such as:

• Jan 25 th , 4:00 pm – 5:30 pm: Math assignment
• Jan 27 th , 3:00 pm – 4:00 pm: Online research for social studies project
• Jan 28 th , 4:30 pm – 5:00 pm: Write introduction for English essay

Transform homework procrastination into homework motivation

Procrastination is a problem we all face.

But given that you’ve read all the way to here, I know you’re committed to overcoming this problem.

And now that you’re armed with these tips, you have all the tools you need to become more disciplined and focused .

By the way, please don’t feel as if you need to implement all the tips at once, because that would be too overwhelming.

Instead, I recommend that you focus on just a couple of tips a week, and make gradual progress. No rush!

Over time, you’ll realize that your habit of procrastination has been replaced by the habit of getting things done.

Now’s the time to get started on that process of transformation. 🙂

Like this article? Please share it with your friends.

Images: Student and books , Homework , Group of students , Consequences , Why , Writing a list , Organized desk , Gratitude

January 19, 2016 at 11:53 am

Ur tips are rlly helpful. Thnkyou ! 🙂

January 19, 2016 at 1:43 pm

You’re welcome 🙂

August 29, 2018 at 11:21 am

Thanks very much

February 19, 2019 at 1:38 pm

The funny thing is while I was reading the first few steps of this article I was procrastinating on my homework….

November 12, 2019 at 12:44 pm

same here! but now I actually want to get my stuff done… huh

December 4, 2022 at 11:35 pm

May 30, 2023 at 6:26 am

October 25, 2023 at 11:35 am

fr tho i totally was but now I’m actually going to get started haha

June 6, 2020 at 6:04 am

I love your articles

January 21, 2016 at 7:07 pm

Thanks soo much. It’s almost like you could read my mind- when I felt so overwhelmed with the workload heap I had created for myself by procrastination, I know feel very motivated to tackle it out completely and replace that bad habit with the wonderful tips mentioned here! 🙂

January 21, 2016 at 8:04 pm

I’m glad to help 🙂

January 25, 2016 at 3:09 pm

You have shared great tips here. I especially like the point “Write down why you want to complete the task” because it is helpful to make us more motivated when we are clear about our goals

January 25, 2016 at 4:51 pm

Glad that you found the tips useful, John!

January 29, 2016 at 1:22 am

Thank you very much for your wonderful tips!!! ☺☺☺

January 29, 2016 at 10:41 am

It’s my joy to help, Kabir 🙂

February 3, 2016 at 12:57 pm

Always love your articles. Keep them up 🙂

February 3, 2016 at 1:21 pm

Thanks, Matthew 🙂

February 4, 2016 at 1:40 pm

There are quite a lot of things that you need to do in order to come out with flying colors while studying in a university away from your homeland. Procrastinating on homework is one of the major mistakes committed by students and these tips will help you to avoid them all and make yourself more efficient during your student life.

February 4, 2016 at 1:58 pm

Completely agreed, Leong Siew.

October 5, 2018 at 12:52 am

Wow! thank you very much, I love it .

November 2, 2018 at 10:45 am

You are helping me a lot.. thank you very much….😊

November 6, 2018 at 5:19 pm

I’m procrastinating by reading this

November 29, 2018 at 10:21 am

January 8, 2021 at 3:38 am

March 3, 2019 at 9:12 am

Daniel, your amazing information and advice, has been very useful! Please keep up your excellent work!

April 12, 2019 at 11:12 am

We should stop procrastinating.

September 28, 2019 at 5:19 pm

Thank you so much for the tips:) i’ve been procrastinating since i started high schools and my grades were really bad “F” but the tips have made me a straight A student again.

January 23, 2020 at 7:43 pm

Thanks for the tips, Daniel! They’re really useful! 😁

April 10, 2020 at 2:15 pm

I have always stood first in my class. But procrastination has always been a very bad habit of mine which is why I lost marks for late submission .As an excuse for finding motivation for studying I would spend hours on the phone and I would eventually procrastinate. So I tried your tips and tricks today and they really worked.i am so glad and thankful for your help. 🇮🇳Love from India🇮🇳

April 15, 2020 at 11:16 am

Well I’m gonna give this a shot it looks and sounds very helpful thank you guys I really needed this

April 16, 2020 at 9:48 pm

Daniel, your amazing information and advice, has been very useful! keep up your excellent work! May you give more useful content to us.

May 6, 2020 at 5:03 pm

nice article thanks for your sharing.

May 20, 2020 at 4:49 am

Thank you so much this helped me so much but I was wondering about like what if you just like being lazy and stuff and don’t feel like doing anything and you don’t want to tell anyone because you might annoy them and you just don’t want to add your problems and put another burden on theirs

July 12, 2020 at 1:55 am

I’ve read many short procrastination tip articles and always thought they were stupid or overlooking the actual problem. ‘do this and this’ or that and that, and I sit there thinking I CAN’T. This article had some nice original tips that I actually followed and really did make me feel a bit better. Cheers, diving into what will probably be a 3 hour case study.

August 22, 2020 at 10:14 pm

Nicely explain each tips and those are practical thanks for sharing. Dr.Achyut More

November 11, 2020 at 12:34 pm

Thanks a lot! It was very helpful!

November 15, 2020 at 9:11 am

I keep catching myself procrastinating today. I started reading this yesterday, but then I realized I was procrastinating, so I stopped to finish it today. Thank you for all the great tips.

November 30, 2020 at 5:15 pm

Woow this is so great. Thanks so much Daniel

December 3, 2020 at 3:13 am

These tips were very helpful!

December 18, 2020 at 11:54 am

Procrastination is a major problem of mine, and this, this is very helpful. It is very motivational, now I think I can complete my work.

December 28, 2020 at 2:44 pm

Daniel Wong: When you’re doing your homework, is your super-comfortable bed just two steps away? Me: Nope, my super-comfortable bed is one step away. (But I seriously can’t study anywhere else. If I go to the dining table, my mum would be right in front of me talking loudly on the phone with colleagues and other rooms is an absolute no. My mum doesn’t allow me to go outside. Please give me some suggestions. )

September 19, 2022 at 12:14 pm

I would try and find some noise cancelling headphones to play some classical music or get some earbuds to ignore you mum lol

March 1, 2021 at 5:46 pm

Thank you very much. I highly appreciate it.

May 12, 2023 at 3:38 am

This is great advice. My little niece is now six years old and I like to use those nice cheap child friendly workbooks with her. This is done in order to help her to learn things completely on her own. I however prefer to test her on her own knowledge however. After a rather quick demonstration in the lesson I then tend to give her two simple questions to start off with. And it works a treat. Seriously. I love it. She loves it. The exam questions are for her to answer on her own on a notepad. If she can, she will receive a gold medal and a box of sweets. If not she only gets a plastic toy. We do this all the time to help her understand. Once a week we spend up to thirty minutes in a math lesson on this technique for recalling the basic facts. I have had a lot of great success with this new age technique. So I’m going to carry on with it for now.

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Why I Stopped Assigning Homework (And 6 Surprising Results) [Episode 96]

Click below to hear why I stopped assigning homework:

Remember the days when you were in school and thought, When I’m a teacher, I’m NEVER going to do this! But then you become a teacher and do exactly what you said you weren’t going to do. Don’t worry, I’m guilty of this too. As soon as I became a teacher, I followed suit with the cycle of assigning homework in my class. However, I had a mindset shift to where now I’m a huge advocate for not assigning homework.

I know for some, this sounds crazy! Most of you probably have a list of questions that include how do you do this, what are the benefits, and how will I know if my students are understanding the concept? And while those are all valid questions, I’ve got answers for you! In today’s episode, I’m sharing why I chose not to assign homework, my strategy in doing so, and the 6 results I learned that may surprise you.

Since not assigning homework is hard for us to grasp, I ask one simple question that asks you to reflect on the meaning of the homework you assign. Once I was truly honest with myself, the decision to not assign homework became easy. With a few tweaks to my lesson plans, pacing, and instructional time, the need for homework became nonexistent. Plus, this new change had a positive impact on my students’ motivation, focus, and academic success in my class.

I acknowledge that making this type of change in your classroom can be scary and, honestly, not for everyone. However, my goal is to provide you with a new perspective and approach to how you view and implement grading in your class. When I stopped making homework a habit in my class, it was transformative for both me and my students, and I know it will be for you and yours, too! 

Topics Discussed:

• My #1 tip for changing up your grading philosophy and practices
• Reflecting on the purpose or meaning of the homework you assign
• 3 strategies to implement when not assigning homework in your class
• The 6 benefits for you and your students when you break the cycle of not assigning homework
• How this idea is correlated to assigning projects as well
• My challenge for you regarding homework for your classes

Resources Mentioned:

• Get the FREE Lab Audit
• It’s Not Rocket Science Free PD
• Download your FREE Classroom Reset Challenge
• Send me a DM on Instagram:  @its.not.rocket.science
• Send me an email: [email protected] 
• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts

Related Episodes and Blog Posts:

• Episode 95, How to STOP Grading Everything
• Episode 94, How to Deal with Cheating in Your High School Science Classes
• Classroom Management Series: Episode 90 , Episode 91 , Episode 92 , Episode 93
• Episode 74, My #1 Way to Simplify Future Lab Days
• Why I Don’t Assign Homework in High School

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More about Secondary Science Simplified: 

Secondary Science Simplified is a podcast specifically for high school science teachers that will help you to engage your students AND simplify your life as a secondary science educator. Each week Rebecca, from It’s Not Rocket Science, and her guests will share practical and easy-to-implement strategies for decreasing your workload so that you can stop working overtime and start focusing your energy doing what you love – actually teaching!

Teaching doesn’t have to be rocket science, and you’ll learn exactly what you need to do to simplify your secondary science teaching life so that you can enjoy your life outside of school even more. Head to  itsnotrocketscienceclassroom.com/challenge  to grab your FREE Classroom Reset Challenge.

Rebecca 0:00 You’re listening to episode number 96 of the secondary science simplified podcast. When I think back to my own high school experience, I think of late nights, I think you’re getting home from a three hour dance class or a play practice, only define myself up well past midnight trying to finish all my homework afterward. And most of the time, I was just doing it to get through it. Whatever I had done was just to get it done and not to really learn from it. I mean, God bless, honestly, my AP European History teacher, I didn’t even end up taking that AP exam, because he and I both knew that I was just doing what I had to do to get by I was not a history girl. I don’t even know why I was in that class. I had already not passed the AP US History exam the year before. And I think I just did it because I was one of those kids that I was like, I do AP everything and like, someone should have been like Sr, just stick with the math and science. So alright, needless to say, do not have fond memories of that. And then when I grew up and decide to become a teacher, like I really just didn’t think twice about assigning homework. I was like, having homework in high school is just what you’re supposed to do. That’s just part of it. We’re preparing them for college. That’s what I always thought. And so I never really thought about not assigning homework to my own students. But over time, my heart really, really changed on this. And I have grown so much, and how I think about this, to the point that now I’m actually incredibly passionate and like a huge advocate about not assigning homework at all, to my high school students. And so that’s what this podcast episode is about. This episode in our series on grading practices, is my number one grading recommendation. Like if you’re not going to start with any of the things I’ve mentioned thus far, I would hope that you would start with this, and that’s to not assign homework, and I’m going to explain why in today’s podcast episode. So let’s do this. This is secondary science simplified a podcast for secondary science teachers who want to engage their students and simplify their lives. I’m Rebecca joiner from it’s not rocket science. As a high school science teacher turned curriculum writer, I am passionate about helping other science teachers love their jobs, serve their students, and do it all in only 40 hours a week. Are you ready to rock the time you spend in your classroom and actually have a life outside of it? You are in the right place teacher friend, let’s get to today’s episode.

Rebecca 2:40 Okay, so obviously, this is kind of a touchy subject. But I really want to get to the heart behind this, but really understand the why. And then I want to share with you guys kind of my strategy and how I approach this. And then I’m also going to share with you six very surprising results that came from this experiment. When I decided a couple of years ago, when I was still teaching full time to not do homework anymore. It honestly went so much better than I ever could have thought. So first, let’s talk about the why though. And I want you to consider what is the purpose of the homework that you’re giving to your students. I know that most of us would say it’s to reinforce what is being learned in class and to make sure that they’re growing and they’re, they’re learning more, they’re understanding more at home, like you don’t have enough class time for them to really get it reinforced. So you want them to do that at home. But if I’m being completely honest and transparent, this is not why I was personally assigning homework for my students, I was assigning homework for my benefit, not for my students. I was assigning it because I didn’t feel like I had enough class time to cover everything. And so I was like, we got to do homework so that you guys can cover some of the stuff that I don’t have time to cover with you. And if I’m being completely honest, I want you to to, like would you say that you’ve been guilty of the same. And maybe I’m alone in this, but I want to say these words out loud, to those of you listening who are like me. And at one point like I couldn’t imagine not assigning homework. And so I want you to consider what is the goal of assigning homework in your class? Why do you really do it? Are you guilty of using homework as a scapegoat? Or are you truly taking the time and energy to assign meaningful homework to your students? And then, if you’re like, No, I am like I’m assigning good reinforcing practice for them. I would then ask, is there another way you could reach the same goal without assigning homework? Because here’s the thing. My other main issue with assigning homework besides my not very great motives for doing it was I didn’t have time to grade it. So it was only adding to their burden and to mind. I had so much on my plate degrade already, which I’ve eliminated over time, as you heard in last week’s episode number 95. But like in the beginning, I just had so much I was like why am I going to add more to it? And sure I could like by check their homework for completion and then we go over it. Because that is what I did. Like anytime I had homework, that’s what I would do, we just spot check it a check it during their bell ringer, and then we’d go over it right away. But then I don’t really know if students are actually doing it, or if they’re just copying it to get it done. You know, these are high school students, we all know how they are. Episode 94 was all about cheating, like, we get how it goes. And so if you’re assigning homework for it to be this reinforcing practice for them, so they can grow in their understanding, are you confident they’re really growing in their understanding? Or are they all just copying it just to get by and to get the grade that you they want to get. And so all of these reflections kind of led me to this place where one grading homework was overwhelming to me. And then to grading something for completion, which is, you know, basically grading for effort, felt inauthentic, because I couldn’t even confirm their effort, since I wasn’t able to witness them actually doing it. And I’ll never forget, like, walking into the hallway. And all these students sitting outside of their lockers at the end of the day, all doing their homework together, but really all copying each other’s homework. And I was like, why am I even assigning this, this is completely pointless. And like I already said, I was really just doing it to try to make my class time easier to take some things off of my plate during our class period. And so I wouldn’t feel as rushed. And none of that was benefiting my students at all. Like even the goal that I wasn’t even shooting for, which is like reinforcing and growing their understanding outside of class, like, I wasn’t even hitting that. And so I was like, You know what, I’m going to commit to not assigning homework anymore. Or if I do assign it, it’s going to be like on the rarest of occasions, it’s not going to be a regular thing, it’s only going to be an exception. And so here’s kind of the strategy I took when I was like, let’s start this great experiment. Let’s see what happens. And so the first thing I did was I decided to start off the year by telling my students that my classes didn’t have homework. Like it was literally in the syllabus, I was like, there’s no homework in this class. And they were thrilled, like day one of the school year, they were like, I love this class, this teacher is awesome. But I followed it up with my strategy, point number two, which was like I explained, hey, the reason that I don’t assign homework is because I respect your time outside of the classroom. I know you guys have lives, I know so many of you have jobs. I know so many of you are in other AP classes in sports, and whenever I get it, but here’s the deal, I’m gonna respect your time outside of class, you will respect my time inside of class. And then I will not have to give you homework. If you give me every minute of your attention in this class period, you will never have a homework in this class period. And I talked about this back in our classroom management series like this was a big procedure of mine that I use to manage whole class behavior was this motivation as a class to not have homework because they knew if they focus, they would not have homework, because I got really strategic about making sure my lesson plans truly were written so that it could all be done in class. And that came with my third point, my strategy, like, we will only have homework, if you don’t respect my time and use your time well in this class, and then we run out of time, you will then have homework. But I’m going to do everything in my power to create enough space in the class period, enough time that we will cover everything we need to cover in this class period. And so that’s what I did. I started the year off this way. I totally reevaluated my lesson plans. I changed my pacing, so that I could slow down and offer more time for practice problems and research projects and things like that in class. Instead of all these like, I was so guilty of always having like an outside research project that they were always working on or something like that, which I will say as a side note, I don’t think is then the world, especially if you have honor students, you can take a lot of this with a grain of salt, I think you can kind of honors and AP classes come with different expectations. But I think this is especially great for those on grade level classes. I mean, and even your honors and AP, like just seeing homework as an exception, not a rule to what’s going to be happening every day. But that’s a tangent, I didn’t mean to go on. And I created time. One of the ways I created time in my class to do more of their homework in class was by decreasing lecture time, and being really ruthless. With the lives and activities I did choose to do with my students. I did a really thorough audit of my labs and resources, which I will link in the show notes. I have a whole free document for you on how to do this and audit your stuff. If you weren’t here back in May, at the start of our summer podcast B. This is like a whole episode. So I will link that for you. But I just wanted to make sure I’m not going to do any busy work anymore. We’re not going to do labs for the sake of doing labs. Everything we do will be meaningful instructional resources that are incredibly intentionally selected. And the kids saw that my students saw that there’s not busy work and Miss joiners class. Like we do stuff for a reason. And it created so much respect for the class and again, it reclaimed a lot of time for me where we were just doing a lot of filler stuff and it was great. So that was my strategy and then Here’s how it turned out, y’all. I truly can’t believe this turnout as well as it did. So these are kind of like some of the results of my little experiment that then led me to do this the next year after that as well. And in for this now to become one of my like, internet platforms. I always think like if there was a beauty pageant for people on the internet, and you know, you had your platform, I feel like beauty pageant contestants always have a platform they’re advocating for this would be my platform, like I’m advocating for this, because I’m so passionate about this. This are prime times, let’s be honest, but I’m not. I’m not trying to make this another primetime podcast, y’all are like, please stop talking about it. Alright, let’s talk about the benefits of my little no homework experiment. So first things first, like I said, my no homework strategy, it built so much rapport with the students from day one. And y’all know, relationships, students are everything, when it comes to effective classroom management, especially on that one on one level, like truly from day one. It made me stand out as a teacher, like they were like, from day one, students were like, wow, she like, genuinely cares about us and like, sees that we have lives outside of school, and wants to respect our time, like that genuinely meant so much to them, you will be the exception to everyone else in your, in your school if you do this, and it’ll make a difference. The second thing that kind of came from that is, again, it motivated them to work hard for me, because they saw that I respected their time. So they respected mine, it totally changed our classroom culture. And that in turn, eliminated a lot of my classroom management issues because they kind of started to self manage a little bit more. I was treating them like adults, and respecting their time. So they started acting more like adults, it was really a beautiful, beautiful thing. Because they knew to the consequence was they’re going to potentially have to use their free time to do work for me, which they didn’t want to do. And another thing too, y’all, this was such a way just to care for my students that have so much going on in their personal lives. And y’all know those students, those students that get home, they ride the bus home, and then they got to care for their siblings. So their mom gets off third shift, or those kids who have to work another job immediately after school, they’re doing the shift from four to midnight, Dairy Queen, or at Starbucks or whatever. And then they’re going home like, those kids are exhausted. And I mean, even the kids that are playing to sports, and they’re in the play, and you know, they’re trying to volunteer like, these kids have a lot going on. I think it is rare nowadays that these kids aren’t overwhelmed in some capacity. And so I just felt like this was a way I really could care for them. And they saw that and they felt that. The third thing I saw is my students just started doing better in my class, which is surprising. Do you think like, oh, you’re you eliminate homework, you eliminate where they’re getting their reinforcement? Shouldn’t they do worse? Not at all. They are doing better in my class, because again, they were giving me so much more of their focus and attention when they’re in my classroom. But then also, a lot of my students said they were actually studying for my class for the first time because they had time to, a lot of times students are like, I never study because I’m always doing homework. So I don’t have time to study on top of that. But my students did have time to study for tests, because I told them like your basically your only homework ever for me is for you to study for my tests, because I’m not going to give you any other homework. And so it actually created space for them to be able to do that. The fourth surprising result from this experiment was, I feel like I became a better teacher, I genuinely do. I think it forced me to be so intentional with class time. And an intentionality that wasn’t there before. Because I kind of knew I always have a scapegoat, like, okay, they will go just, if we don’t get through this, they’ll just have to do it for homework. And like, I just was putting this burden on them. And I was kind of able to pick that back up. And it again, made me a better teacher really challenged me in a great way. Fifth benefit was I save so much time grading wise, it really contributed to me not having to grade as much because like I mentioned in our last episode 95. When I then did grade something, I knew it was an authentic assessment, because everything students I was grading was things that students had done in my presence. So I knew that they weren’t cheating, or at least they were working in a group so I can kind of hear their conversations and make sure they are working together or whatever. And then I would say the six benefit was it really allowed me to help students on a one on one basis in class, because again, I was monitoring everything that you did. So I could walk around and really see like what they were doing. And a lot of times to this looks like as simple as even taking a practice handout that has 10 problems, and just being like, Hey, we’re just going to do the odds in class. And then if you need extra support, you can come to tutoring and I’ll do the evens with you. You know, it just created so much room for flexibility there as well as opposed to being like, here’s 10 problems if you don’t finish in class, it’s for homework and then they’re overwhelmed because they think it’s too many. If they can do five problems they can do 10 That’s a huge I think back in the day it used to be like 2530 problems okay, let’s cut it down to like 10 or 15. Now Mike, let’s come down to five they can do five problems are fine. You know, I just I genuinely think that that you may disagree. So, you may be thinking after I say all this is it possible to never assign homework. It could be, but it isn’t easy. You and I both know, sometimes it happens, you know, sometimes you underestimate how long something will take, or maybe you all end up having a great discussion and things kind of go off that rails. And, you know, you can’t just bump the lesson back till tomorrow because you got to get this in before the test before the end of the quarter or whatever. But I think what was most transformational for my teaching practice was just stopping planning on having homework or making a habit of assigning homework, we’re only gonna have homework, if things get real crazy, or students don’t use their time. Well, it is the exception, it’s not the norm. And it makes all the difference. And I think this really carries over to, to projects outside of class, I was so guilty of kind of really once a quarter, but maybe more once in the semester, I think is once a quarter actually, students having some sort of project outside of class, which I love, I love a non traditional summative assessment, I love them so much. But it was this weight on students always outside of class that they had this project hanging over them. And oftentimes, I was guilty of making the project do after a break, thinking, Oh, I’m giving them six weeks to do this. But then the last week will be over winter break. So then if they haven’t finished up, they can finish up then. But you and I both know, they’re not going to do that they wait to the last minute and then they’re having to do it over the winter break. And now as a parent, I’m like my oldest about to start kindergarten. So I know I’m like a baby parent. I don’t know anything. But I’m like early emotional thinking about how little time I’m going to have with him when he started school full time. I am living for his fall break. I’m living for Thanksgiving break, I’m living for winter break. I can’t wait for every second I get to have with him. And obviously he’s in kindergarten. So he’s not gonna have any homework. But I’m just thinking about I mean, my precious kindergartener is going to be a high school boy, one day, Lord willing, and I’m still gonna want to spend my winter breaks with him, I don’t want him locked in his room or working on a biology project for some teacher, I want him resting and recharging with our family and enjoying the holiday. And I want that for my students to y’all. I’m getting teary. I swear becoming a mother has made me so soft. But like in the best way, I was so rigid, and black and white, and everything I did. And I was so like certain. And I think the older I get one, the more humbled I am. And to the more I’m less certain about everything, and less confident in everything. But I think in the best way, because it makes me hear other people better and take in other ideas better. And so I hope when I give you these podcast episodes, I’m sure they come off a little aggressive, because I get I get passionate, you’ll know I get passionate talking about these things. Because I get passionate sharing my experiences and how they change my life and my students. But I also want you to know that you know yourself best, you know, your students best, you know what is best, you know, you do not have to do everything like me, and you shouldn’t, because you and I are different people. But I hope when you hear this episode, maybe it just gets you starting to think differently about homework. And maybe you’re like, Oh, I hear that I never thought about that with projects, maybe I won’t be assigning a project. Now. That’s due anywhere near breaks, that students will end up doing it over a break, you want to be home enjoying your time off, so to your students, so to their parents, they want to enjoy it with their kids. And so think about that as we move through the rest of the school year. And so that’s kind of just my action set for you with this episode, is just take a few minutes and sit down and really reflect on what we talked about at the top of the episode, which is the reason for why you’re assigning homework kind of really nailed down what that reason is, if it’s a good reason, maybe think of okay, well, is there another way to achieve this goal without it being homework? And then if you’re willing, what if you just kind of decide for a quarter of this year to do the experiment like I did? At this point? You know, it’s September so most some of you have been in school for two months. Some of you just started last week. So you might be thinking like, Okay, well, like you said, you started this the beginning the year we can’t do that. What are you started it for quarter two, quarter two usually falls from most people starts around mid October, sometime in October, what he said at the start of quarter two guys, we’re gonna do something different this quarter. We’re all gonna do homework and kind of approach it with the same strategy as I did and just see how it goes. I can what’s the worst that can happen? You don’t get through as much in quarter two. Okay, well, unless you have an AP course and EOC course. Yeah, you’re supposed to teach the standards but like, who really cares, you don’t get through every single thing perfectly. Again, this is another way I’ve gone soft. And in my older age. I don’t know why I say older age but older than 22 When I started teaching is like when I was 22 teaching an EOC course it would have killed me to skip anything that was on the EOC. But now the older I get, I’m like life’s a learning experience. Like we just all do the best we have. I’d rather think about them as a holistic individual human then worry about their ESC score, their AP Bio score and again, I don’t mean to be flippant, because I know these things matter. I know you know, this can save, like especially AP exams, it saves students money in college and then have to take the course and I get it. I’m not trying to be flippant, but I do just want you to think about it differently maybe than you ever have before, because that’s what I did. And it really changed everything. I mean, truly a one at where I am now on this topic to where I was when I started teaching when I was 22 years old. Alright, so that’s it. I know I mentioned a couple of their podcast episodes that like we’ve talked about little things here and there related to this, and I’ll link those in the show notes at it’s not rocket science classroom.com/episode 96 And this week, I want you to leave a review if you haven’t already. If you’re on that no homework chain. Okay, as my kids would say, choo, choo, get on the train. If you want to try new homework, leave a rating or review and let me know about it. I would love to hear from you.

Rebecca 20:50 All right, teacher friends. That wraps up today’s episode. If you’re looking for an easy way to start simplifying your life as a secondary science teacher, head to It’s not rocket science classroom.com/challenge to grab your classroom reset challenge. And guess what? It’s totally free. Thanks so much for tuning in, and I’ll see you here next week. Until then, I’ll be rooting for you teacher friend.

More Podcast Posts

Teaching AP Physics With Guest Laura Preiser [Episode 124]

What to Do When You Care More Than Your Students Do [Episode 123]

How to Nail Your Teacher Job Interview + 3 Mock Lesson Ideas [Episode 122]

Burned Out? When It’s Time to Make a Change [Episode 121]

Grab your free classroom reset challenge.

Not sure where to begin simplifying your teaching life? Start by reseting your classroom! Get the step-by-step checklist you need here!

Submit your email address to receive your FREE Classroom Reset Challenge from INRS!

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Jazz research questions, interesting essay topics to write about japanese culture, good research topics about japanese art, jane eyre essay topics, most interesting invisible man essay topics to write about, most interesting jaguar essay topics to write about, most interesting jackson pollock essay topics to write about, good essay topics on italian renaissance, good research topics about islamophobia, 21 strategies to help students who have trouble finishing homework tasks.

Are you looking for strategies to help students who have trouble finishing homework tasks? If so, keep reading.

1. Chart homework tasks finished.

2. Converse with the learner to explain (a) what the learner is doing wrong (e.g., not turning in homework tasks ) and (b) what the learner should be doing (i.e., finishing homework tasks and returning them to school).

3. Urge the learner to lessen distractions to finish homework (e.g., turn off the radio and/or TV, have people whisper, etc.).

4. Take proactive steps to deal with a learner’s refusal to perform a homework task to prevent contagion in the classroom (e.g., refrain from arguing with the learner, place the learner at a carrel or other quiet space to work, remove the learner from the group or classroom, etc.).

5. Select a peer to model finishing homework tasks and returning them to school for the learner.

6. Urge the learner to realize that all behavior has negative or positive consequences. Urge the learner to practice behaviors that will lead to positive outcomes.

7. Urge the learner to set up an “office” where homework can be finished.

8. Get the learner to assess the visual and auditory stimuli in their designated workspace at home to ascertain the number of stimuli they can tolerate.

9. Create an agreement with the learner and their parents requiring that homework be done before more desirable learning activities at home (e.g., playing, watching television, going out for the evening, etc.).

10. Make sure that homework gives drill and practice rather than introducing new ideas or information.

11. Designate small amounts of homework initially . As the learner shows success, slowly increase the amount of homework (e.g., one or two problems to perform may be sufficient to begin the homework process).

12. Provide consistency in assigning homework (i.e., designate the same amount of homework each day).

13. Make sure the amount of homework designated is not excessive and can be finished within a sensible amount of time. Remember, secondary students may have six or seven teachers assigning homework each day.

14. Assess the appropriateness of the homework task to determine (a) if the task is too easy, (b) if the task is too complicated, and (c) if the duration of time scheduled to finish the task is sufficient.

15. Praise the learner for finishing homework tasks and returning them to school: (a) give the learner a concrete reward (e.g., classroom privileges, 10 minutes of free time, etc.) or (b) provide the learner an informal reward (e.g., praise, handshake, smile, etc.).

16. Praise the learner for finishing homework tasks based on the number of tasks the learner can successfully finish. As the learner shows success, slowly increase the number of tasks required for reinforcement.

17. Praise those students who finish their tasks at school during the time given.

18. Send home only one homework task at a time. As the learner shows success finishing tasks at home, slowly increase the number of homework tasks sent home.

19. Show the tasks in the most attractive and exciting manner possible.

20. Find the learning materials the learner continuously fails to take home. Give a set of those learning materials for the learner to keep at home.

21. Consider using an education app to help the student sharpen their organizational skills. Click here to view a list of apps that we recommend .

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I Hate Myself for Not Doing My Homework

Reader’s Question

I’m in high school and would consider myself to have above average intellect. Still, I’m getting Ds and Es in school.

I seem to do well on all of the tests, but when I get home from school and I have to do my homework, I just can’t make myself do it. My teachers ask me why I don’t do my homework and I tell them I just don’t care anymore. But in reality I do care — I hate myself for not doing the work. Still, when I get home from school I just can’t make myself do the work. Then, when I get my report card, I look at the grades and just cry myself to sleep. I want to do better but I just can’t seem to make myself work harder. Is this just me being lazy or is there something more?

Psychologist’s Reply

Because there could be so many underlying reasons for your quandary, it’s not possible to make an accurate assessment from such a distance. That’s why it would be in your and your family’s best interest to seek out an evaluation by a mental health professional experienced in such issues.

Some of the possible reasons for your difficulties can include:

The aforementioned are just a few of the many possible explanations for your difficulties other than pure laziness. Your problems might be related to some very different causes other than a deficiency of character. My best suggestion: talk openly with your parents and school counselor about your concerns, and seek a professional opinion about the best ways to address the issues.

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All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals. Originally published by Dr George Simon, PhD on July 29, 2010 and last reviewed or updated by Dr Greg Mulhauser, Managing Editor on July 29, 2010 .

https://askthepsych.com/atp/2010/07/29/i-hate-myself-for-not-doing-my-homework/

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My bright teen is skipping homework and failing classes, and I don’t know what to do

Q: My 15-year-old son, a high school sophomore, has stopped doing his homework when he doesn't like the subject or the teacher, or when he thinks it's stupid, and he's now failing two classes. He has also lied to me about it; he got away with the lies until the school sent notices, so he has all but destroyed my trust in him. This has been going on since grammar school, but it's getting worse as he gets older. I've tried everything I can think of: therapy, taking away the Xbox, using the Xbox or other things as rewards he can earn, letting him handle it on his own, partial involvement, hovering, crying and screaming — and I feel awful about those last two. I'm trying to take your advice to be careful not to damage our relationship over things, but I don't know what else to do. Failing major subjects in high school seems like a problem. Am I wrong to be so concerned? He won't work with a tutor anymore, either. He's a smart kid, so it's not a lack of ability. Please help.

A: I am going to be honest with you: I relate to your son. I started to check out of school around sixth grade and stayed checked out well through high school. I was bright but had stopped caring about most of my classes, and nothing changed my mind. Paid for good grades? Nope. Punishments? Nah. Rewards? Didn’t care. Threats? Didn’t matter. I was only affected by a handful of people, and otherwise, I couldn’t be reached. And this wasn’t even in a pandemic; this was just the ’90s.

Send questions about parenting to [email protected]

As I see it, your son is a puzzle (as we all are), and we have a couple of the puzzle pieces in front of us. He is bright (a word that doesn’t carry much meaning), he doesn’t do his homework when he is disinterested in the subject and/or teacher, he lies about it, this behavior has been happening since grammar school, every manner of behavior modification has been attempted (and failed), you have tried therapy, and he refuses a tutor. There are many other things I don’t know about your son, including his health, any transitions or traumas for him or the family, possible learning disabilities or differences (yes, you can be bright and have a whole host of learning issues that prohibit learning in a “typical” way) and family structure. I could go on and on!

The big question is why. Why did your son begin to disconnect from school?

Although I can do little to help you in this note, I do want to keep guiding you to the “why” instead of the “what.” Of course we don’t want your son failing courses — no one wants that for their children — but our parenting goal is not getting him to pass classes. It is to understand him, so he can understand and help himself. At 15, he is well on his way to becoming a young man, and whatever is causing his disconnect from school is what needs your attention.

As you discover the “why,” you need to understand why rewards and punishments don’t seem to work with some children, especially when it comes to schoolwork. There is a time and place for typical behavioral techniques. Take something away that children love, they stop the unwanted behavior. Give them something they love, they repeat wanted behavior. Fine. But this only really works when children already care about school, their teachers and, yes, maybe the work. Caring about your integrity, what you produce and how your teacher feels about you is the primary driver of working hard, not rewards or punishments. If you have a teen who is accustomed to not caring about what his teachers or you think, then he is immune to your punishments and rewards. “Not caring” runs both ways; you don’t feel the “bad stuff,” and you also don’t feel the “good stuff.” As a person who didn’t care about a lot of things for a long time, I can say that it is a horrible way to live. I was wretched to parent and educate.

Let’s pause all the behavior-modification shenanigans. Let’s pause the fear of all this failing and what it means for his future. Let’s pause shoving him into therapy or tutoring. Let’s. Just. Stop. Repeat after me: “My son is not a project. He is a fully human young man, and he needs my support and love.” Repeat this over and over and over, then start getting curious. Invite him to eat with you, go on a hike with you, learn a video game with you, anything, and try to get to know him without an agenda. Every single class he is failing can be made up. Every single thing he hasn’t learned can eventually be learned, and I want you to tell him that. I also want you to highlight and discuss what he does well. He is passing classes! He is (maybe) doing chores! These failed classes are not the sum of his person, so stop treating them as if they are.

10 ways to take the struggle out of homework

I also want you to tell him that it’s typical to not want to do well for people to whom we don’t feel connected. My spidey sense is that something (or things) happened in grammar school that caused him to armor up, and the armor has grown thicker. And of course he’s lying to you. When people feel ashamed of their actions (not doing homework and failing), they lie, then they get in trouble for the lie (adding on more shame), which adds to more lying. Let’s just assume he isn’t going to do the homework for some of these classes. We can take out the extra shame layer.

I can hear you having a panic attack, and I know I have not told you what to do to fix this situation, but it is not going to get fixed. Your son is not broken; he just needs support. Please call your pediatrician for a good work-up, and peek around at possible learning issues. (Giftedness is on the table, too.) Please personally reach out to a teacher whom your son loves and respects, and ask for support. What got me through high school? A choir teacher, an AP English teacher, my Mom Mom, my aunt, and the fact that my parents didn’t give up and send me out of the house. That’s it. Find someone your son cares about, and have them start talking, hanging out, checking in, etc. As a former teacher, I did this and was never burdened by it; it is called community, and we all need it.

The most encouraging part about your note is that you know this is a relationship-first issue. Keep that as your North Star, and as your son begins to thaw, you can add other strategies, such as rewards and punishments. Check out Cara Natterson’s “ Decoding Boys ” and think about seeing your own parent coach or therapist. You are doing hard parenting work, and you need a safe place for your fears and big emotions.

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Mental Health at Iowa

Release the Hamster: 8 tips for Embracing the Simplicity of Self-Care

     Today I sat in the waiting room with my tween daughter, hurrying from home to be on time. Normally, I pull out my phone and read endless work emails or scroll through another high-drama news story. 

Sound familiar? I feel like I am a hamster on a wheel, worried if I slow down, I may not be as put together as I hope to be.

I stepped off the “wheel” and looked at her ever growing, sweet face. I listened to her tell stories about her friends, teacher, and the next social dilemma she was pondering. Fifteen wonderful minutes without chores, homework, or email. We laughed and shared stories. When her name was called, she  held my hand,  and she wasn’t embarrassed as she walked toward the nurse. Smiling the whole way. My heart soared. 

“Self-care” sometimes feels like something I need to plan or clearly identify as time for myself. But it can be so simple. There are many precious moments when you can pause to fill your bucket or at least jump off the wheel.

• Give yourself  grace . We don’t have to do it all.
• Take a mental health day, don’t wait for the next holiday break or summer. You don’t need physical symptoms to justify taking care of yourself. A mental health day isn’t weakness or being “unwell.” It is a position of health and self-care.  Embrace it.
• Practice mindfulness:  Be present . Multi-tasking only allows us to be partially involved in several things.  
• Adjust  your expectations. Maybe for today, maybe for the next year. 
• Practice  self-care with someone  else. Step outside for a quick walk, shut off the computer, or walk to a colleague’s office or classroom to just say hello .
• Validate.  We don’t always need to teach or fix. Sometimes we just  need to listen .  This is my favorite teaching video . 
• Find your happy. Know  what brings you joy  and do more of it. What did you enjoy 10 years ago? 5 years ago? What have you always wanted to try? Do it. 
• Time is precious, take advantage of telehealth therapy and doctor’s appointments. Better yet, take the time away from the screen to see someone in person.  Connect .

The Employee Assistance Program is dedicated to supporting the well-being of our faculty, staff, postdocs, and medical residents with confidential, short-term counseling; consultation for supervisors; and referral to community resources. For more information, resources, or to schedule an appointment, visit the UI EAP web page .

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• English Only

"I am doing homework?" Why not, "I doing homework?"

• Thread starter Evlesoa
• Start date Jun 5, 2013
• Jun 5, 2013

Now I know English isn't my native language, but I learned it when I was 10 and I am completely fluent in it (on the native level). I also teach it, and I'm certified in TESOL (by SIT Graduate Institute). I also teach grammar, although not on the completely fundamental levels like modals or what not. Although I have a pretty good idea of what modals are, I don't find that using such fanciness is required. I believe in simplicity like "auxiliary verb that expresses possibility." Anyway, I digress. To get on this topic, I'd like to know this. I am doing homework = Subject + (Auxiliary-like, but not really) Verb (unless you have a better term for it) + Present Participle (modifies homework) + Object However! Considering that a present participle is a verb at base, one could also say: I doing homework. Why not? And my last point: if "doing" is a verb at base of "to do," then you would never say, "I am do homework." Would you? Someone, please clear this up for me. Thanks so much in advance.  

Senior Member

However! Considering that a present participle is a verb at base, one could also say: I doing homework. Why not? Click to expand...

The only suggestion (other than Sdgraham's excellent suggestion to research 'present continous') is that when we use 'am' we are stating our current state of 'being'. We need the subject + state of being (+ verb). "I am running beside you." "I am moving out of my apartment." "I am falling out of my chair with laughter!" Subject + state of being = essential.  

Thanks. Well, the problem is that I have spent several hours and I have had no luck finding the answer. They all say you have to use "to be + participle" but they never mention why you have to. That's what bothers me. Edit - Then that doesn't answer the question as to why you can't say "I am run to you," seeing how "am" is a state.  

Evlesoa said: Thanks. Well, the problem is that I have spent several hours and I have had no luck finding the answer. They all say you have to use "to be + participle" but they never mention why you have to. That's what bothers me. Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: Subject + (Auxiliary-like, but not really) Verb (unless you have a better term for it) + Present Participle ( modifies homework ) + Object Click to expand...

Considering that a present participle is a verb at base, one could also say: I doing homework. Why not? Click to expand...

That's not a good enough answer. There has to be a reason why. It's like in America, where we say, "You better go." Why? Because we believe that "better" is an adverb modifying "go" or that it is a comparison to another situation. But seriously, I don't mean to be knocking you guys for this, considering I'm learning Chinese and they have the oddest grammar ever. I'd like to get to the bottom of this with a reason why it is so in English.  

Evlesoa said: But seriously, I don't mean to be knocking you guys for this, considering I'm learning Chinese and they have the oddest grammar ever. I'd like to get to the bottom of this with a reason why it is so in English. Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: That's not a good enough answer. There has to be a reason why. It's like in America, where we say, "You better go." Why? Because we believe that "better" is an adverb modifying "go" or that it is a comparison to another situation. But seriously, I don't mean to be knocking you guys for this, considering I'm learning Chinese and they have the oddest grammar ever. I'd like to get to the bottom of this with a reason why it is so in English. Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: It's like in America, where we say, "You better go." Why? Because we believe that "better" is an adverb modifying "go" or that it is a comparison to another situation. Click to expand...

lucas-sp said: The bold part is wrong. The verb here is "to do," conjugated to put it in the present progressive tense. We form the present progressive with the "helper" verb "to be" and the present participle of the main verb (so, for "to do," the present progressive looks like "am doing"/"are doing"/"is doing"). In other words, the participle "doing" does not modify"homework" - I do homework; the homework itself does nothing. Click to expand...

lucas-sp said: Now, other words - like "application" or "lovingly" - are "verbs at base," since they're derived from verbs. But you wouldn't say "I application" or "I lovingly," would you? Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: You could also say, "Doing homework, I was." Grammatically, there's nothing wrong there. It sounds odd, but it's not incorrect. All you are doing is moving the object to the front. Click to expand...

Those are nouns, though. There is no "love" or "apply" in there. Those are completely different forms. Click to expand...

entangledbank

A main clause requires one (1) finite verb - a verb inflected for tense and person. If there is a sequence of verbs, the first verb must be finite and the remaining ones are non-finite - they have subordinate forms, depending on the verb immediately preceding them. In 'I do homework', 'do' is present tense and non-third-singular person. In 'I am doing homework', 'am' is present tense and first-singular person. In 'I had been doing homework', 'had' is past tense, which is generally not distinguished for person. These are the finite verbs. The subsequent verbs are dependent on them, so they have reduced inflection. The tense does not need to be repeated on each verb. (This is a very common feature of many languages.) Any form of progressive 'be' is followed by the gerund-participle ('I am doing', 'I will be doing', 'I will have been doing'). Any form of perfect 'have' is followed by the past participle ('I had done ', 'I had been doing', and so on). And so on.  

Hmm. Okay. This makes me question everything I know. Just to let you guys know, this was a grammarian out in another state who told me this and I decided to investigate his claims. What a pity that I believed him for a second. Edit - I also find it weird that my dictionary says "doing" is a present participle of "do." Is it, or is it not? If it's not, what the hell is it? Edit 2 - If application is a verb, then you can say, "I am applicationing" and "I am application this right now" because it's as much of a verb as the present participle that requires the usage of a non-finite.  

lucas-sp said: The bold part is wrong. The verb here is "to do," conjugated to put it in the present progressive tense. We form the present progressive with the "helper" verb "to be" and the present participle of the main verb (so, for "to do," the present progressive looks like "am doing"/"are doing"/"is doing"). In other words, the participle "doing" does not modify "homework" - I do homework; the homework itself does nothing. Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: Then that loops back: why can't you say "I doing homework?" From one point of view, "doing" is a present participle because it is the state of "do"; therefore, it has to be a participle. Click to expand...

lucas-sp said: We form the present progressive with the "helper" verb "to be" and the present participle of the main verb (so, for "to do," the present progressive looks like "am doing"/"are doing"/"is doing"). Click to expand...

But that's not a reason, though. That's a rule. What's the reason for the rule? Is there one? Or is this just a concrete "has to be this way?" Sorry to give you so many headaches, guys. Just trying to get this cleared up in my head after what I've heard.  

"Doing" is a word with multiple meanings. It can be... a present participle: "Michael, studiously doing his homework in the library, didn't hear the commotion outside." a present participle as part of the continuous verb form: "You can't come in right now. I'm doing homework." a gerund: "Every day you should set aside at least an hour for doing homework." an onomatopoeia: "The spring exploded out of the tube with a loud DOING! sound." What "grammarian," from what state, argued that all verb forms are equally good for all purposes? Maybe if you could present his argument here we could comment on it. Either he is sorely wrong - and not a grammarian at all - or you might have misunderstood his claims.  

sdgraham said: Because that's English. Click to expand...

Just some guy who told me something over chat on grammar. He is a college professor. He argued that because "doing" is a continuous action, it does not require a state before it (to be). He told me that it was perfectly clear to say that, even though no one says it in actual speech. His only argument was that it was a present participle, and as all participles are, it continues in the present -__- ... and told me that meaning wise, "I am doing homework" vs "I doing homework," there is no difference whatsoever. He also argued that grammar is kind of "non-existent." You can google that and you'll find many people saying the same. I also heard from another professor, an article actually, that "Strunk and White" is a load of bullshit. I can find the link if you want. @Boozer Yeah, I see that. Languages are just languages. I guess it's really more down to style than grammar itself. Why why why. I want answers, but it seems there are none. Oh well. Edit - Here it is. Strunk and White: 50 Years of Stupid Grammar ( http://chronicle.com/article/50-Years-of-Stupid-Grammar/25497 )  

Evlesoa said: What's the reason for the rule? Is there one? Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: But that's not a reason, though. That's a rule. What's the reason for the rule? Is there one? Or is this just a concrete "has to be this way?" Click to expand...

Got it. Well, thanks for answering my questions. I think I'm just better off to sticking to what I know and not think too much about it or listen to other people. This stuff has been bothering me for years since the time that I heard it from others, and now I know that not everything has a reason after-all. I overestimated English's potential.  

Evlesoa said: He is a college professor. He argued that because "doing" is a continuous action, it does not require a state before it (to be). He told me that it was perfectly clear to say that, even though no one says it in actual speech. His only argument was that it was a present participle, and as all participles are, it continues in the present -__- ... and told me that meaning wise, "I am doing homework" vs "I doing homework," there is no difference whatsoever. Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: I know that not everything has a reason after-all. I overestimated English's potential. Click to expand...

I see. So there's no logic in English, and I noticed that it has fixated phrases that have no origins to their creations (such as "nevertheless" -- how can "never" be put together with "the less" and mean "all the same?" -- a rhetorical question, if you will). Arbitrary is true. Chinese must be the worst. All of their adjectives are stative verbs. Strunk and White is a problem of style, not grammar, then? To answer your question, no, I can't. I don't really understand Russian. I only use it. I have no idea why I say what I say, I only know that it makes sense. It's a strange language because there are about 6 different versions of a verb that are changes based on the subject and specific conditions. Haha. I know, that's terrible. As for underestimating, I meant I overestimated English's ability to have a logical reason for everything. It clearly doesn't have such. The language we use, though, is powerful enough to describe the strangest things. No doubt about that. Wonder what the phrase "I can't describe it using words" really means then.  

Evlesoa said: Strunk and White is a problem of style, not grammar, then? Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: I see. So there's no logic in English, Click to expand...

and I noticed that it has fixated phrases that have no origins to their creations (such as "nevertheless" -- how can "never" be put together with "the less" and mean "all the same?" -- a rhetorical question, if you will). Click to expand...

Arbitrary is true. Chinese must be the worst. All of their adjectives are stative verbs. Click to expand...

Evlesoa said: Considering that a present participle is a verb at base, one could also say: I doing homework. Why not? Click to expand...

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• The Case for Marrying an Older Man

A woman’s life is all work and little rest. An age gap relationship can help.

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. We take long, scorching walks to the village — gratuitous beauty, gratuitous heat — kicking up dust and languid debates over how we’d spend such an influx. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me.

He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.

When I was 20 and a junior at Harvard College, a series of great ironies began to mock me. I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting. I shared it with the average, idle young woman shrugging down the street. The thought, when it descended on me, jolted my perspective, the way a falling leaf can make you look up: I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early.

So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors. I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can. As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books I’d read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. I’d have disliked being called calculating, but I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.

I was competitive by nature, an English-literature student with all the corresponding major ambitions and minor prospects (Great American novel; email job). A little Bovarist , frantic for new places and ideas; to travel here, to travel there, to be in the room where things happened. I resented the callow boys in my class, who lusted after a particular, socially sanctioned type on campus: thin and sexless, emotionally detached and socially connected, the opposite of me. Restless one Saturday night, I slipped on a red dress and snuck into a graduate-school event, coiling an HDMI cord around my wrist as proof of some technical duty. I danced. I drank for free, until one of the organizers asked me to leave. I called and climbed into an Uber. Then I promptly climbed out of it. For there he was, emerging from the revolving doors. Brown eyes, curved lips, immaculate jacket. I went to him, asked him for a cigarette. A date, days later. A second one, where I discovered he was a person, potentially my favorite kind: funny, clear-eyed, brilliant, on intimate terms with the universe.

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well, and with a hunger driven only by my own inadequacies. Not him. In those early days, I spoke fondly of my family, stocked the fridge with his favorite pasta, folded his clothes more neatly than I ever have since. I wrote his mother a thank-you note for hosting me in his native France, something befitting a daughter-in-law. It worked; I meant it. After graduation and my fellowship at Oxford, I stayed in Europe for his career and married him at 23.

Of course I just fell in love. Romances have a setting; I had only intervened to place myself well. Mainly, I spotted the precise trouble of being a woman ahead of time, tried to surf it instead of letting it drown me on principle. I had grown bored of discussions of fair and unfair, equal or unequal , and preferred instead to consider a thing called ease.

The reception of a particular age-gap relationship depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.

Twenty and 30 is not like 30 and 40; some freshness to my features back then, some clumsiness in my bearing, warped our decade, in the eyes of others, to an uncrossable gulf. Perhaps this explains the anger we felt directed at us at the start of our relationship. People seemed to take us very, very personally. I recall a hellish car ride with a friend of his who began to castigate me in the backseat, in tones so low that only I could hear him. He told me, You wanted a rich boyfriend. You chased and snuck into parties . He spared me the insult of gold digger, but he drew, with other words, the outline for it. Most offended were the single older women, my husband’s classmates. They discussed me in the bathroom at parties when I was in the stall. What does he see in her? What do they talk about? They were concerned about me. They wielded their concern like a bludgeon. They paraphrased without meaning to my favorite line from Nabokov’s Lolita : “You took advantage of my disadvantage,” suspecting me of some weakness he in turn mined. It did not disturb them, so much, to consider that all relationships were trades. The trouble was the trade I’d made struck them as a bad one.

The truth is you can fall in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, tiny transactions, pluses and minuses, whose sum is your affection for each other, your loyalty, your commitment. The way someone picks up your favorite croissant. Their habit of listening hard. What they do for you on your anniversary and your reciprocal gesture, wrapped thoughtfully. The serenity they inspire; your happiness, enlivening it. When someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them.

When I think of same-age, same-stage relationships, what I tend to picture is a woman who is doing too much for too little.

I’m 27 now, and most women my age have “partners.” These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if you’re equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking .

There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.

I find a post on Reddit where five thousand men try to define “ a woman’s touch .” They describe raised flower beds, blankets, photographs of their loved ones, not hers, sprouting on the mantel overnight. Candles, coasters, side tables. Someone remembering to take lint out of the dryer. To give compliments. I wonder what these women are getting back. I imagine them like Cinderella’s mice, scurrying around, their sole proof of life their contributions to a more central character. On occasion I meet a nice couple, who grew up together. They know each other with a fraternalism tender and alien to me.  But I think of all my friends who failed at this, were failed at this, and I think, No, absolutely not, too risky . Riskier, sometimes, than an age gap.

My younger brother is in his early 20s, handsome, successful, but in many ways: an endearing disaster. By his age, I had long since wisened up. He leaves his clothes in the dryer, takes out a single shirt, steams it for three minutes. His towel on the floor, for someone else to retrieve. His lovely, same-age girlfriend is aching to fix these tendencies, among others. She is capable beyond words. Statistically, they will not end up together. He moved into his first place recently, and she, the girlfriend, supplied him with a long, detailed list of things he needed for his apartment: sheets, towels, hangers, a colander, which made me laugh. She picked out his couch. I will bet you anything she will fix his laundry habits, and if so, they will impress the next girl. If they break up, she will never see that couch again, and he will forget its story. I tell her when I visit because I like her, though I get in trouble for it: You shouldn’t do so much for him, not for someone who is not stuck with you, not for any boy, not even for my wonderful brother.

Too much work had left my husband, by 30, jaded and uninspired. He’d burned out — but I could reenchant things. I danced at restaurants when they played a song I liked. I turned grocery shopping into an adventure, pleased by what I provided. Ambitious, hungry, he needed someone smart enough to sustain his interest, but flexible enough in her habits to build them around his hours. I could. I do: read myself occupied, make myself free, materialize beside him when he calls for me. In exchange, I left a lucrative but deadening spreadsheet job to write full-time, without having to live like a writer. I learned to cook, a little, and decorate, somewhat poorly. Mostly I get to read, to walk central London and Miami and think in delicious circles, to work hard, when necessary, for free, and write stories for far less than minimum wage when I tally all the hours I take to write them.

At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self, couldn’t imagine doing it in tandem with someone, two raw lumps of clay trying to mold one another and only sullying things worse. I’d go on dates with boys my age and leave with the impression they were telling me not about themselves but some person who didn’t exist yet and on whom I was meant to bet regardless. My husband struck me instead as so finished, formed. Analyzable for compatibility. He bore the traces of other women who’d improved him, small but crucial basics like use a coaster ; listen, don’t give advice. Young egos mellow into patience and generosity.

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic. By opting out of partnership in my 20s, I granted myself a kind of compartmentalized, liberating selfishness none of my friends have managed. I am the work in progress, the party we worry about, a surprising dominance. When I searched for my first job, at 21, we combined our efforts, for my sake. He had wisdom to impart, contacts with whom he arranged coffees; we spent an afternoon, laughing, drawing up earnest lists of my pros and cons (highly sociable; sloppy math). Meanwhile, I took calls from a dear friend who had a boyfriend her age. Both savagely ambitious, hyperclose and entwined in each other’s projects. If each was a start-up , the other was the first hire, an intense dedication I found riveting. Yet every time she called me, I hung up with the distinct feeling that too much was happening at the same time: both learning to please a boss; to forge more adult relationships with their families; to pay bills and taxes and hang prints on the wall. Neither had any advice to give and certainly no stability. I pictured a three-legged race, two people tied together and hobbling toward every milestone.

I don’t fool myself. My marriage has its cons. There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him. He doesn’t have to hold it over my head. It just floats there, complicating usual shorthands to explain dissatisfaction like, You aren’t being supportive lately . It’s a Frenchism to say, “Take a decision,” and from time to time I joke: from whom? Occasionally I find myself in some fabulous country at some fabulous party and I think what a long way I have traveled, like a lucky cloud, and it is frightening to think of oneself as vapor.

Mostly I worry that if he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive, but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials, the way Renaissance painters hid in their paintings their faces among a crowd. I wonder if when they looked at their paintings, they saw their own faces first. But this is the wrong question, if our aim is happiness. Like the other question on which I’m expected to dwell: Who is in charge, the man who drives or the woman who put him there so she could enjoy herself? I sit in the car, in the painting it would have taken me a corporate job and 20 years to paint alone, and my concern over who has the upper hand becomes as distant as the horizon, the one he and I made so wide for me.

To be a woman is to race against the clock, in several ways, until there is nothing left to be but run ragged.

We try to put it off, but it will hit us at some point: that we live in a world in which our power has a different shape from that of men, a different distribution of advantage, ours a funnel and theirs an expanding cone. A woman at 20 rarely has to earn her welcome; a boy at 20 will be turned away at the door. A woman at 30 may find a younger woman has taken her seat; a man at 30 will have invited her. I think back to the women in the bathroom, my husband’s classmates. What was my relationship if not an inconvertible sign of this unfairness? What was I doing, in marrying older, if not endorsing it? I had taken advantage of their disadvantage. I had preempted my own. After all, principled women are meant to defy unfairness, to show some integrity or denial, not plan around it, like I had. These were driven women, successful, beautiful, capable. I merely possessed the one thing they had already lost. In getting ahead of the problem, had I pushed them down? If I hadn’t, would it really have made any difference?

When we decided we wanted to be equal to men, we got on men’s time. We worked when they worked, retired when they retired, had to squeeze pregnancy, children, menopause somewhere impossibly in the margins. I have a friend, in her late 20s, who wears a mood ring; these days it is often red, flickering in the air like a siren when she explains her predicament to me. She has raised her fair share of same-age boyfriends. She has put her head down, worked laboriously alongside them, too. At last she is beginning to reap the dividends, earning the income to finally enjoy herself. But it is now, exactly at this precipice of freedom and pleasure, that a time problem comes closing in. If she would like to have children before 35, she must begin her next profession, motherhood, rather soon, compromising inevitably her original one. The same-age partner, equally unsettled in his career, will take only the minimum time off, she guesses, or else pay some cost which will come back to bite her. Everything unfailingly does. If she freezes her eggs to buy time, the decision and its logistics will burden her singly — and perhaps it will not work. Overlay the years a woman is supposed to establish herself in her career and her fertility window and it’s a perfect, miserable circle. By midlife women report feeling invisible, undervalued; it is a telling cliché, that after all this, some husbands leave for a younger girl. So when is her time, exactly? For leisure, ease, liberty? There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.

For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush , permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able.

Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility. A chance to live my life before I become responsible for someone else’s — a lover’s, or a child’s. A chance to write. A chance at a destiny that doesn’t adhere rigidly to the routines and timelines of men, but lends itself instead to roomy accommodation, to the very fluidity Betty Friedan dreamed of in 1963 in The Feminine Mystique , but we’ve largely forgotten: some career or style of life that “permits year-to-year variation — a full-time paid job in one community, part-time in another, exercise of the professional skill in serious volunteer work or a period of study during pregnancy or early motherhood when a full-time job is not feasible.” Some things are just not feasible in our current structures. Somewhere along the way we stopped admitting that, and all we did was make women feel like personal failures. I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing. Perhaps men long for this in their own way. Actually I am sure of that.

Once, when we first fell in love, I put my head in his lap on a long car ride; I remember his hands on my face, the sun, the twisting turns of a mountain road, surprising and not surprising us like our romance, and his voice, telling me that it was his biggest regret that I was so young, he feared he would lose me. Last week, we looked back at old photos and agreed we’d given each other our respective best years. Sometimes real equality is not so obvious, sometimes it takes turns, sometimes it takes almost a decade to reveal itself.

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How to Get Out of Doing Homework

Last Updated: March 4, 2024 Fact Checked

wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 111 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 282,402 times. Learn more...

Sometimes you just can't get it together and finish your homework. Maybe you had a concert or a game after school and you were too tired to think when you got home. Maybe you ran out of time, or you fell asleep early. Maybe you just had something way better to do! This article will give you ideas for how to get your parents off your back about doing homework and convince your teachers you have a perfectly good reason why you didn't do the assignment. Plus, learn techniques on how to make it look like you made an attempt at your assignment, but life, fate, or technology got in the way. Just don't make a habit of it, or your grades may suffer.

Making Excuses to Your Teacher

• Notice how your teacher reacts when other students forget their homework to gauge how much you can get away with.
• Notice if your teacher collects homework or usually just walks around and glances at your worksheet to make sure you did it.
• Try to get an idea of what your teacher likes. If they have pictures of their cat everywhere, you may be able to use that to your advantage later by telling them your cat is very sick or had to be put down and you were too devastated to finish the assignment.
• Remember that your teacher probably got into teaching because they are passionate about their subject. Participate in class as much as possible: if they believe you love history, too, they're probably more likely to be sympathetic later.
• Find out how much homework counts toward your final grade. If homework only accounts for 20% of your grade and you ace all your tests, projects, and class participation, you might be able to get by without doing homework and still get a decent grade.

• If your teacher expects you to email them your assignment, ask them the next day if they got your email. When they say they didn't, act confused and explain that you definitely emailed them and that you can't believe it didn't go through. They probably can't check to see if you are lying and will probably give you an extension.

• Claim the death of a family member. Make it someone close enough that it would affect you, but not so close that the teacher will find out about it. A great aunt or uncle works as they tend to be older. There is also no limit on the amount of great aunts and uncles you have, whereas with grandparents there is a limited number of times you can use that excuse. Plus, you don't want to tempt karma by saying your grandma died unexpectedly.
• Say that you are having a private family issue and you don't feel comfortable talking about it, but you can't do the homework.
• Tell your teacher your pet died. But be aware that if your teacher happens to be having a conversation with your parents and says something like "Sorry about the dog!" they may find out you were lying.

• Tell the teacher you were in the bathroom when they assigned the work and you completely missed that you had homework. However, if your teacher has a good memory or writes homework on the board or on a school website, there is a high chance this will not work.

• This works best if you are somebody who rarely gets sick(maybe once or twice a year) then you will be more trustworthy if you appear sick.

• If you do this too often your teacher will stop being sympathetic, so make sure it only happens once or twice.

Making It Look Like You Did Your Homework

• If your teacher walks around the class checking for homework, but doesn't take it in, write your homework page and task at the top of some random notes you have for that class. If they're not attentive, they won't notice.
• If they are attentive, try to distract them by asking a question related to the subject or show them a word in the textbook you don't understand.

• Say you must have left it on your desk/in the car/on the bus and ask if you can turn it in at the end of the day. Then you can quickly do the assignment during lunch.
• Be smart when pretending to be upset that you lost your homework. If you usually slack off and don't do your homework, it may seem odd to the teacher when you suddenly worry about not having your homework.

• If you cheat on writing based homework, paraphrase it so your teacher can't tell that you cheated. Also, think about how you usually perform in class. If you don't usually do well in class on homework and tests, your teacher could get suspicious if you get all the answers right. So to be smart, get some answers wrong on purpose.
• Try asking one friend for answers to questions #1 and #2, then another friend for the answers to questions #3 and #4, and so on until the assignment is complete.
• Assemble a study group and let them work out all the answers.
• If you have a friend who owes you a favor, tell them this is how they can repay their debt.

• Bring in a blank flash drive and swear to your teacher you saved it to the drive and you don't know what happened.

• Go into File Explorer and find the file you want to make corrupt. Right click over the file and select 'Open With...', then select Notepad. Once the file opens in Notepad you should see a really bizarre document with gibberish. Click anywhere within the document and type something random in it, disturbing the flow. After this just save and submit. When your teacher opens it, it will show up an error.
• Do not select "use application as default" when selecting Notepad after File Explorer step or else all word documents (.docx) will automatically in Notepad showing gibberish.
• Create a blank image in Paint and save it in .bmp format. After that, forcefully change its format into .doc (right-click and hit Properties), and change the title to the name of your homework assignment. Now, when you try to open the file in any text viewing program, it will show up as a broken file. Send it to the teacher, and if they ask you the next day, just say sorry about this inconvenience and promise to send it this evening. Now, you have an extra day to complete your homework.

Convincing Your Parents

• So your parents check your history? Easy. If you have the Google Chrome browser, you can use Incognito mode. This will not track your history at all. Press ctrl+shift+N at the same time to open an Incognito tab. Remember to close all Incognito tabs before you go back to doing your homework.
• Remember ctrl + w closes a window with one tab without prompt, so it is the perfect way without downloading Firefox and certain add-ons to use the computer without parent's knowing anything of your exploits.

Community Q&A

Tips from our Readers

• Try to sound very stressed about not finishing your homework. Try to only skip homework when you really need to. It might be obvious that you're not trying if you never do it.
• Try to be honest when you get caught. If you lie and get caught, you might be in bigger trouble.
• Remember: in most cases, it is unlikely your teacher will excuse you from doing the homework altogether, even if these tactics work. Go into it thinking they will give you an extension and you will have time to catch up on your work without it impacting your grade. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Homework is there to help you. In the long run, not doing homework will impact not just your report card but your future. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Avoid lame and common excuses. These excuses have no effect, so don't even try to use them. Avoid "I forgot" and "My dog ate my homework" kind of excuses. Using long, boring excuses may make the teacher just dismiss it and tell you to turn it in tomorrow. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://edinazephyrus.com/how-to-fake-sick-successfully/
• ↑ https://corrupt-a-file.net/

About This Article

If you weren't able to finish your homework, there are a few good excuses you can use to keep your teacher off your back. You can blame technology and say your computer or printer broke. If you needed the internet for your homework, say your internet went off for a few hours. Pretending you forgot your homework isn't the best excuse, but it sounds better than admitting you didn't do it. Search through your bag and pretend to look for it, then tell your teacher you must have left it at home. To make it more convincing, see your teacher at the beginning of class and say you had a busy week and forgot to do the homework. You can even tell them you had a family issue. Teachers are unlikely to call you out for being sick, so try going to the nurse before class and telling them you feel sick and you can’t go to class. For more tips, including how to get out of your parents making you do homework, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Six presumed dead after cargo ship crash levels Baltimore bridge

BALTIMORE — A major Baltimore bridge collapsed like a house of cards early Tuesday after it was struck by a container ship, sending six people to their deaths in the dark waters below, and closing one of the country’s busiest ports.

By nightfall, the desperate search for six people who were working on the bridge and vanished when it fell apart had become a grim search for bodies.

“We do not believe that we’re going to find any of these individuals still alive,” Coast Guard Rear Admiral Shannon N. Gilreath said.

Jeffrey Pritzker, executive vice president of Brawner Builders, said earlier that one of his workers had survived. He did not release their names.

Up until then, Maryland Gov. Wes Moore had held out hope that the missing people might be found even as law enforcement warned that the frigid water and the fact that there had been no sign of them since 1:30 a.m. when the ship struck Francis Scott Key Bridge.

Moore expressed heartbreak after officials suspended the search for survivors.

"Our heart goes out to the families," he said. "I can’t imagine how painful today has been for these families, how painful these hours have been have been for these families."

It was a crushing blow to the loved ones of the missing men, who had waited for hours at a Royal Farms convenience store near the entrance of the bridge for word of their fate. 

Follow live updates on the Baltimore bridge collapse

The tragic chain of events began early Tuesday when the cargo ship Dali notified authorities that it had lost power and issued a mayday moments before the 984-foot vessel slammed into a bridge support at a speed of 8 knots, which is about 9 mph.

Moore declared a state of emergency while rescue crews using sonar detected at least five vehicles in the frigid 50-foot-deep water: three passenger cars, a cement truck and another vehicle of some kind. Authorities do not believe anyone was inside the vehicles.

Investigators quickly concluded that it was an accident and not an act of terrorism.

Ship was involved in another collision

Earlier, two people were rescued from the water, Baltimore Fire Chief James Wallace said. One was in good condition and refused treatment, he said. The other was seriously injured and was being treated in a trauma center.

Moore said other drivers might have been in the water had it not been for those who, upon hearing the mayday, blocked off the bridge and kept other vehicles from crossing.

“These people are heroes,” Moore said. “They saved lives.”

Nearly eight years ago, the Dali was involved in an accident. In July 2016, it struck a quay at the Port of Antwerp-Bruges in Belgium, damaging the quay.

The nautical commission investigated the accident, but the details of the inquiry were not immediately clear Tuesday.

The Dali is operated and managed by Synergy Group. In a statement, the company said that two port pilots were at the helm during Tuesday's crash and that all 22 crew members onboard were accounted for.

The Dali was chartered by the Danish shipping giant Maersk, which said it would have no choice but to send its ships to other nearby ports with the Port of Baltimore closed.

The bridge, which is about a mile and a half long and carries Interstate 695 over the Patapsco River southeast of Baltimore, was "fully up to code," Moore said.

National Transportation Safety Board Chairwoman Jennifer Homendy said that her agency will lead the investigation and that a data recorder on the ship could provide more information.

"But right now we're focusing on the people, on the families," she said. "The rest can wait."

President Joe Biden vowed to rebuild the bridge and send federal funds.

"This is going to take some time," the president warned. "The people of Baltimore can count on us though to stick with them, at every step of the way, till the port is reopened and the bridge is rebuilt."

Speaking in Baltimore, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg echoed the president's promise.

"This is no ordinary bridge," he said. "This is one of the cathedrals of American infrastructure."

But Buttigieg warned that replacing the bridge and reopening the port will take time and money and that it could affect supply chains.

The Port of Baltimore, the 11th largest in the U.S., is the busiest port for car imports and exports, handling more than 750,000 vehicles in 2023 alone, according to data from the Maryland Port Administration.

Writer David Simon, a champion of Baltimore who set his TV crime drama "The Wire" on the streets of the city he once covered as a reporter, warned online that the people who will suffer the most are those whose livelihoods depend on the port.

"Thinking first of the people on the bridge," Simon posted on X . "But the mind wanders to a port city strangling. All the people who rely on ships in and out."

Timeline of crash

Dramatic video captured the moment at 1:28 a.m. Tuesday when the Dali struck a support and sent the bridge tumbling into the water. A livestream showed cars and trucks on the bridge just before the strike. The ship did not sink, and its lights remained on.

Investigators said in a timeline that the Dali's lights suddenly shut off four minutes earlier before they came back on and that then, at 1:25 a.m. dark black smoke began billowing from the ship's chimney.

A minute later, at 1:26 a.m., the ship appeared to turn. And in the minutes before it slammed into the support, the lights flickered again.

Maryland Transportation Secretary Paul Wiedefeld said the workers on the bridge were repairing concrete ducts when the ship crashed into the structure.

At least seven workers were pouring concrete to fix potholes on the roadway on the bridge directly above where the ship hit, said James Krutzfeldt, a foreman.

Earlier, the Coast Guard said it had received a report that a “motor vessel made impact with the bridge” and confirmed it was the Dali, a containership sailing under a Singaporean flag that was heading for Sri Lanka.

Bobby Haines, who lives in Dundalk in Baltimore County, said he felt the impact of the bridge collapse from his house nearby.

"I woke up at 1:30 this morning and my house shook, and I was freaking out," he said. "I thought it was an earthquake, and to find out it was a bridge is really, really scary."

Families of bridge workers wait for updates

Earlier in the day, relatives of the construction crew waited for updates on their loved ones.

Marian Del Carmen Castellon told Telemundo her husband, Miguel Luna, 49, was working on the bridge.

“They only tell us that we have to wait and that they can’t give us information,” she said.

Castellon said she was "devastated, devastated because our heart is broken, because we don’t know how they have been rescued yet. We are just waiting for the news."

Luna's co-worker Jesús Campos said he felt crushed, too.

“It hurts my heart to see what is happening. We are human beings, and they are my folks,” he said.

Campos told The Baltimore Banner that the missing men are from El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Mexico.

Active search and rescue ends

The Coast Guard said it was suspending the active search-and-rescue effort at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday.

"Coast Guard’s not going away, none of our partners are going away, but we’re just going to transition into a different phase," Gilreath said at a news conference.

Maryland State Police Superintendent Roland L. Butler, Jr., said it was moving to a recovery operation. Changing conditions have made it dangerous for divers, he said. 

Butler pledged to "do our very best to recover those six missing people," but the conditions are difficult.

"If we look at how challenging it is at a simple motor vehicle crash to extract an individual, I'm sure we can all imagine how much harder it is to do it in inclement weather, when it's cold, under the water, with very limited to no visibility," he said.

"There's a tremendous amount of debris in the water," which can include sharp metal and other hazards, and that could take time, Butler said.

'A long road in front of us'

Built in 1977 and referred to locally as the Key Bridge, the structure was later named after the author of the American national anthem.

The bridge is more than 8,500 feet long, or 1.6 miles. Its main section spans 1,200 feet, and it was one of the longest continuous truss bridges in the world upon its completion, according to the National Steel Bridge Alliance .

About 31,000 vehicles a day use the bridge, which equals 11.3 million vehicles per year, according to the Maryland Transportation Authority.

The river and the Port of Baltimore are both key to the shipping industry on the East Coast, generating more than $3.3 billion a year and directly employing more than 15,000 people.

Asked what people in Baltimore can expect going forward, the state's transportation secretary said it is too early to tell.

"Obviously we reached out to a number of engineering companies, so obviously we have a long road in front of us," Wiedefeld said.

Julia Jester reported from Baltimore, Patrick Smith from London, Corky Siemaszko from New York and Phil Helsel from Los Angeles.

Julia Jester is a producer for NBC News based in Washington, D.C.

Patrick Smith is a London-based editor and reporter for NBC News Digital.

Phil Helsel is a reporter for NBC News.

Corky Siemaszko is a senior reporter for NBC News Digital.