physical beauty and inner beauty essay

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Best Art Essay Examples

Physical beauty vs inner beauty.

701 words | 3 page(s)

The questions related to beauty have troubled the minds of the humanity for centuries. Philosophers, artists, and poets have made beauty the subject of their quest. Traditionally, beauty has been seen as one of the ultimate values just as justice, goodness, and truth. Ancient Greeks, medieval philosophers, and the thinkers in 18-19 centuries interpreted beauty and described it from various perspectives. One of the most neutral and general definitions of beauty was given by Heisenberg, who wrote that beauty was “the proper conformity of the parts to one another and to the whole” (Heisenberg in Chandrasekhar 52). Yet, the understanding of beauty common in modern society often distinguishes between physical beauty and inner beauty. THESIS STATEMENT: Despite the fact that physical and inner beauty differ a lot, they are not controversial, but complement each other. A person who is ugly inside is not likely to be perceived as beautiful even if he or she has attractive looks. On the contrary, people with physical flaws are often said to be beautiful because of their inner beauty.

First, let us discuss the differences between the physical beauty and the inner beauty. In idealist philosophical thought, the inner beauty is understood as the beauty of the soul. In Plato’s account of Socrates’s instructress Diotima’s reflections on beauty, this type of beauty is juxtaposed to the beauty of the body. The latter occupies a lower place in the hierarchy of values and cannot even be compared to the beauty of the soul: “(…) the beauties of the body are as nothing to the beauties of the soul” and “the beauty of the body is not, after all, of so great moment (…)” (Plato 561-563). The great philosopher saw the major difference between the two kinds of beauty in that the beauty of the body is based on love to the form, which is absurd, since one cannot set himself/herself “the lover of every lovely body”, while the beauty of the soul was based on eternal values (Plato 561-563). At the same time, the two kinds of beauty were seen as similar in that both of them made people “fall in love and cherish” (Plato 561-563). Yet, Socrates did not view the two kinds of beauty as opposite; instead, for him beauty was a coherent unity, with bodily beauty occupying the lower ladder of the hierarchy.

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Inner and outer beauties differ by the essence, yet they are similar in that they both constitute harmony. Specifically, St. Augustine’s vision of beauty distinguished between inner and outer beauty. The latter was about the symmetry of the parts of the human outer self and about the proper order of the processes that were driving a person’s physical existence, whereas the former was about the symmetry of a person’s good choices and the reality order. This symmetry is a common element. Again, in St.Augustine’s view, the inner beauty is more outstanding because it depends on free choice and results from the spirit of justice. Despite the difference, the philosopher spoke about the unity of the two kinds of beauty, where the inner beauty is essentially the core. According to the great philosopher, the self beauty attracts other people’s love while outward beauty only manages to attract their attention (St.Augustine, “Commentary on the Gospel of John”).

Overall, despite the differences between the two kinds of beauty, both of them are indispensable parts of the universal concept of beauty. In it, however, inner beauty plays a greater role and is associated with a person’s soul. Therefore, it is hard to disagree with Audrey Hepburn, a famous U.S. actress, who said that true beauty gets reflected in a soul and that true beauty is about our care given to others as well as our passion. They are felt beyond the facial mole (in O’Connor 138).

• Chandrasekhar, S. Truth and Beauty: Aesthetics and Motivations in Science, 1990. Print.
• Geddes. John. A Familiar Rain. Chinook Pub Inc., 2011. Print.
• O’Connor, Karen. The Beauty of Aging: Growing Older with Grace, Gratitude, and Grit.
• Gospel Light Publications, 2006. Print.
• Plato. Collected Dialogues. N.d. Web. 15 Feb. 2014.
• St.Augustine. Commentary on the Gospel of John. N.d. Web. 15 Feb. 2014.

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• Poems Celebrating the Beauty of Physical Appearance

1. "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron

2. "the black lace fan my mother gave me" by eavan boland, 3. "mirror" by sylvia plath, appreciating the beauty within, exploring the depths of physical beauty through poetry.

Poetry has always been a powerful medium to express emotions and thoughts, and one of the most captivating themes it explores is physical appearance. Whether it's an ode to a lover's captivating eyes or a reflection on society's obsession with beauty, poems about physical appearance offer a unique perspective on the subject. In this article, we will delve into a few remarkable poems that celebrate the diverse facets of physical beauty.

One of the most iconic poems about physical appearance, "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron, perfectly captures the essence of a woman's beauty. Byron's eloquent words paint a vivid picture of a woman whose grace and radiance leave an indelible mark:

"She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that's best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes."

Byron's poem is a testament to the captivating power of physical allure, intertwining light and darkness to create an enchanting portrait.

Eavan Boland's "The Black Lace Fan My Mother Gave Me" explores the significance of a cherished heirloom, a black lace fan. Through the delicate interplay of physical appearance and personal history, Boland showcases the beauty of memories and emotions tied to an object:

"It is an instrument for the diffusion of air, a fan for the face. But in my imagination it is a tool for language."

Boland's poem beautifully illustrates how a physical object can become a vessel for beauty, transcending its mere appearance.

In "Mirror," Sylvia Plath delves into the complex relationship between physical appearance and identity. The poem personifies a mirror, which becomes a reflection of the speaker's harsh reality:

"I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions. Whatever I see, I swallow immediately. Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike I am not cruel, only truthful."

Plath's deeply introspective poem forces readers to confront the realities of aging and the ever-changing perception of oneself.

While poems about physical appearance often celebrate external beauty, it is essential to remember that true beauty transcends the surface. These poems serve as reminders that beauty is not solely defined by physical attributes but also by qualities such as kindness, compassion, and resilience. By exploring physical appearance through poetry, we open ourselves up to a deeper understanding of the intricate connection between our inner and outer selves.

So, next time you marvel at someone's captivating eyes or admire the intricate details of an object, take a moment to appreciate the poetry of physical appearance. Let these verses inspire you to see beyond the surface and cherish the beauty that lies within us all.

• Rap Poems About Money: The Art of Wealth and Success
• Poems about Feeling Safe with Someone: A Haven of Love

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Arabic Poems: Celebrating the Beauty Within

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The definition of beauty to each her own.

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Our perceptions differ along cultural lines about the definition of beauty and how to achieve it.

Since cosmetic plastic surgery patients come from all walks of life, the plastic surgeon must learn how to relate to people with a wide range of cultural, financial, and educational backgrounds.

An approach to building trust with one patient may be completely different from what is needed to build trust with another. That relatability is key to an open, honest, and trustworthy relationship between the patient and surgeon.

In fact, in some ways, plastic surgery seems to unify people irrespective of background. Everyone wants to feel good about themselves, to be accepted by the people around them, and to look good.

People in sales jobs or the public eye especially want to look refreshed, pleasant, and approachable—and that transcends all differences. Because childbirth physically changes a woman’s body pretty significantly, women from all races and cultures come to us for procedures to help them regain their pre-pregnancy bodies and start feeling like their younger selves before they have children.

While we all have similar objectives—to be accepted and to feel good about ourselves—in my practice I’ve seen how our perceptions differ along cultural lines about the definition of beauty and how to achieve it. People from different cultures want surgery that accomplishes different goals, and certain surgeries are desired more by certain cultures than others.

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For example, in my practice, we’ve found that some cultures see beauty in curves and fullness, so women from these cultures more often request the procedure known as the Brazilian butt lift or fat grafting to augment the bottom.

Culture can also influence expectations regarding outcomes. For instance, women from cultures that value fuller figures typically ask us to leave some curves when performing liposuction. Other cultures seem to focus more on facial features, requesting fillers and other procedures to help restore volume lost in the cheeks and lips.

Regardless of culture, we’ve seen that the definition of beauty can change over time. What matters in your twenties may not be what matters to you in your forties.

For example, a patient who had large breast implants placed when they were in their twenties and implants were in style may come in years later looking for a reduction in their overall breast size. That reduction may involve a smaller implant or a reduction of natural breast tissue. As we age, our bodies continuously change, as does our ideal body image. As a patient’s goals evolve over time, cosmetic plastic surgery offers a wide range of procedures to meet those changing needs.

I used to think that replacing large implants with smaller ones would surely make a patient unhappy, but every woman we’ve performed that surgery on says they feel better physically, and they feel better about themselves.

When they were young, getting implants was about fitting a perceived image; now, taking them out is about their own self-happiness. They are no longer concerned with impressing someone else; they have become content with who they are and what is most comfortable or practical.

When it comes to cosmetic plastic surgery, it’s not about what other people think—it’s about what’s best for you. People who are the most critical of others often have many issues themselves. What one person likes, wants, or needs may not fit someone else. And that’s OK—it’s OK to want something different than what others want. If you try to do for yourself only what someone else thinks is reasonable, you’re not going to be happy.

At some point, you have to decide what matters and whether the procedure is right for you. After that, it’s the role of the plastic surgeon to determine whether plastic surgery can deliver the expected results.

When you’re happy with your outcome and more comfortable with your new self, when your family and others see that you had cosmetic plastic surgery to bring to the surface your inner beauty, then they’ll be more confident and understanding of your new you.

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Itisinmyblood

The beauty of art.

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My words don’t always get across The emotions that I’m trying To get from here to there sometime… These feelings are lost in What seems like a forest at dusk

Interwoven cotton-made roses Line her back While leggings cover that which is… Coffee runs down her throat Like it was made for that

I’ve got a feeling that every time… I’ll get another chance I’ve got a feeling that by the tim… You’ll be in my arms I wish that before I met your amb…

Trying to contain these wild emoti… Like fireflies caught in the summe… But like water in the midst of hea… I feel like these emotions are her… but instead they turn their head a…

I’m overwhelmed by the thought of… Crying over what should’ve been My hand in your hand Your ear near my heart Oh what I would do

Lost in my thoughts Lying motionless beneath the stars And the planets Wondering What if

Once in a while You get the chance to fly Even amidst the forces Telling you lies As terrifying as it may be

I love my neighbor and the Holy Spirit That’s why I’m so nonviolent I write a lot because my brain

Drifting far from the seaside dock Is an inevitability if my anchor i… The dock is where my soul needs no… And the ocean current can’t get me Here I stand a quarter past midni…

You see, I’m a lyrical manipulato… Because the words in the dictionar… Don’t say enough, so I’m kind of… But that means nothing If I sit back and don’t point you…

As the sun peaks its face out from… The pan is banged OVER And OVER Muscle memory starts taking contro…

I thought that my days were about… It turns out that my days are our… The days the sun isn’t shining I’m reminded of my life without yo… Calling it a life is an overstatem…

No matter how hard I try I can’t deny the feeling my heart… I know I’m young I know I’ve made some choices tha… I can’t cover up my feelings for y…

No longer can I stand for this The enemy has a left hook that’ll… My time in the ring is spent My body is swoll and swollen The lights have been dimmed

You’re insecure I don’t know what for When you walk in a room my eyes sh… If only you saw what I can see If only you saw yourself through m…

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12 Great University of California Essay Examples

What’s covered, essay #1: leadership, essay #2: creativity, essay #3: creativity, essay #4: creativity, essay #5: talent, essay #6: talent, essay #7: academic interest, essay #8: academic interest, essay #9: community, essay #10: community, essay #11: community, essay #12: community.

The University of California system is comprised of nine undergraduate universities, and is one of the most prestigious public school systems in the country. The UC schools have their own application system, and students must respond to four of eight personal insight questions in 350 words each. Every UC school you apply to receives the same application and essays, so it’s important that your responses accurately represent your personality and writing abilities. 

In this post, we’ll share some UC essay examples and go over what they did well and where they could improve. We will also point you to free resources you can use to improve your college essays. 

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our guide to the UC personal insight questions for more tips on writing strong essays for each of the prompts.

Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words)

1400 lines of code. 6 weeks. 1 Pizza.

I believe pizza makers are the backbone of society. Without pizza, life as we know it would cease to exist. From a toddler’s birthday party to President Obama’s sporadic campaigning cravings, these 8 slices of pure goodness cleverly seep into every one of our lives; yet, we never talk about it. In a very cheesy way, I find representation in a pizza maker. 

The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough. We had textbooks and worksheets, but viewing printed rhythms and attempting to recognize them in real-time is about as straining as watching someone eat pizza crust-first. Furthermore, online simulators were vastly over-engineered, featuring complex interfaces foreign to high-school students.

Eventually, I realized the only way to pull myself out of the sauce was by creating my own tools. This was also the first year I took a programming course, so I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment by extrapolating knowledge from Computer Science and Physiology to code and share my own Electrocardiogram Simulator. To enhance my program, I went beyond the textbook and classroom by learning directly from Java API – the programmer’s Bible.

The algorithms I wrote not only simulated rhythms in real-time but also actively engaged with the user, allowing my classmates and I to obtain a comprehensive understanding of the curriculum. Little did I know that a small project born out of desperation would eventually become a tool adopted by my teacher to serve hundreds of students in the future.

Like pizza, people will reap the benefits of my app over and over again, and hardly anyone will know its maker. Being a leader doesn’t always mean standing at the front of rallies, giving speeches, and leading organizations. Yes, I have done all three, but this app taught me leaders are also found behind-the-scenes, solving problems in unimaginable ways and fulfilling the hidden, yet crucial niches of the world. 

1400 lines of code, and 6 weeks later, it’s time to order a pizza. 

What the Essay Did Well

This is a great essay because it is both engaging and informative. What exactly does it inform us about? The answer: the personality, work ethic, and achievements of this student (exactly what admissions officers want to hear about).

With regards to personality, the pizza through-line—which notably starts the essay, ends the essay, and carries us through the essay—speaks volumes about this student. They are admittedly “cheesy,” but they appear unabashedly themself. They own their goofiness. That being said, the student’s pizza connections are also fitting and smoothly advance their points—watching someone eat pizza crust-first is straining and pizza is an invention that hardly anyone can identify the maker of. 

While we learn about this student’s fun personality in this essay, we also learn about their work ethic. A student who takes the initiative to solve a problem that no one asked them to solve is the kind of student an admissions officer wants to admit. The phrase “I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment” alone tells us that this student is a curious go-getter.

Lastly, this student tells us about their achievements in the last two paragraphs. Not only did they take the initiative to create this program, but it was also successful. On top of that, it’s notable how this student’s accomplishments as a leader defy the traditional expectations people have for leaders. The student’s ability to demonstrate their untraditional leadership path is an achievement in itself that sets the student apart form other applicants.

What Could Be Improved

This is a strong essay as is, but the one way this student could take it above and beyond would be to tell less and show more. To really highlight the student’s writing ability, the essay should  show the reader all the details it’s currently telling us. For example, these sentences primarily tell the reader what happened: “The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough.” 

Rewriting this sentence to show the reader the student’s impetus for creating their app could look like this: “When my teacher flashed the electrocardiogram on the screen, my once attentive physiology class became a sea of blank stares and furrowed brows.” This sentence still conveys the key details—student’s in the physiology class found electrocardiograms to be the hardest unit of the year—but it does so in a far more descriptive way. Implementing this exercise of rewriting sentences to show what happened throughout the piece would elevate the entire essay.

Prompt: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words)

For the past few years, participating in debate has been one of the foremost expressions of my creativity. Nothing is as electrifying as an Asian parliamentary-style debate. Each team is given only thirty minutes to prepare seven-minute speeches to either support or oppose the assigned motion. Given the immense time pressure, this is where my creativity shines most brightly.

To craft the most impactful and convincing argument, I have to consider the context of the motion, different stakeholders, the goals we want to achieve, the mechanisms to reach those goals, and so much more. I have to frame these arguments effectively and paint a compelling and cohesive world to sway my listeners to my side on both an emotional and logical level. For example, In a debate about the implementation of rice importation in the Philippines, I had to frequently switch between the macro perspective by discussing the broad economic implications of the policy and the micro perspective by painting a picture of the struggles that local rice farmers would experience when forcefully thrust into an increasingly competitive global economy. It’s a tough balancing act.

To add to the challenge, there is an opposing team on the other side of the room hell-bent on disproving everything I say. They generate equally plausible sounding arguments, and my mission is to react on the spot to dispel their viewpoints and build up our team’s case.

When two debate teams, both well-prepared and hungry for victory, face off and try to out-think one another, they clash to form a sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments and rebuttals. They fill up a room with unbelievable energy. After several years of debate, I have developed the capacity to still a room of fury and chaos with nothing but my words and wit.

Debate has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today. Because of debate, I have become a quicker and stronger thinker. Lightning quick on my feet, I am ready to thoroughly and passionately defend my beliefs at a moment’s notice.

This prompt is about creativity, though its wording emphasizes how students aren’t required to talk about typically-creative subjects. That said, it might take a bit more work and explanation (even creativity, one could say) to position a logical process as creative. This student’s main strength is the way they convince the reader that debate is creative.

First, they identify how “Asian parliamentary-style debate” differs from other forms of debate, emphasizing how time constraints necessitate the use of creativity. Then, they explain how both the argument’s content (the goals and solutions they outline) and the argument’s composition (the way they frame the argument) must be creatively orchestrated to be convincing. 

To drive home the point that debate is a creative process, this student provides an example of how they structured their argument about rice importation in the Philippines. This essay is successful because, after reading it, an admissions officer has no doubt that this student can combine logic and creativity to think intellectually.

One aspect of this essay that could be improved is the language use. Although there are some creative metaphors like the “sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments”, the essay is lacking the extra oomph and wow-factor that carefully chosen diction provides. In the second paragraph, the student repeats the phrase “I have to” three different times when stronger, more active verbs could have been used.

Essays should always reflect the student’s natural voice and shouldn’t sound like every word came straight out of a thesaurus, but that doesn’t mean they can’t incorporate a bit of colorful language. If this student took the time to go through their essay and ask themself if an overused word could be replaced with a more exciting one, it would make the essay much more interesting to read.

As I open the door to the Makerspace, I am greeted by a sea of cubicle-like machines and I watch eagerly, as one of them completes the final layer of my print.

Much like any scientific experiment, my countless failures in the Makerspace – hours spent designing a print, only to have it disintegrate – were my greatest teachers. I learned, the hard way, what types of shapes and patterns a 3D printer would play nice to. Then, drawing inspiration from the engineering method, I developed a system for myself – start with a solid foundation and add complexity with each iteration – a flourish here, a flying buttress there. 

But it wasn’t until the following summer, vacationing on a beach inundated with plastic, that the “aha” moment struck. In an era where capturing people’s attention in a split-second is everything, what better way to draw awareness to the plastic problem than with quirky 3D-printed products? By the time I had returned home, I had a business case on my hands and a desire to make my impact.

Equipped with vital skills from the advanced math-and-science courses I had taken in sophomore year, I began applying these to my growing business. Using my AP Chemistry analytical laboratory skills, I devised a simple water bath experiment to test the biodegradability claims of 3D-printer filaments from different manufacturers, guaranteeing that my products could serve as both a statement and play their part for our planet. The optimization techniques I had learned in AP Calculus were put to good use, as I determined the most space-efficient packaging for my products, reducing my dependence on unsustainable filler material. Even my designs were tweaked and riffed on to reflect my newfound maturity and keen eye for aesthetics.

My business is still going strong today, raising $1000 to date. I attribute this success to a fateful spark of creative inspiration, which has, and will, continue to inspire me to weave together multiple disciplines to address issues as endemic as the plastic problem. 

This essay begins with a simple, yet highly effective hook. It catches readers’ attention by only giving a hint about the essay’s main topic, and being a standalone paragraph makes it all the more intriguing. 

The next paragraph then begins with a seamless transition that ties back to the Makerspace. The essay goes on to show the writer’s creative side and how it has developed over time. Rather than directly stating “I am most creative when I am working on my business,” the writer tells the story of their creativity while working with 3-D printers and vacationing on the beach. 

It is the “aha” moment that perhaps responds to the prompt best. Here we get to see the writer create a new idea on the spot. The next two paragraphs then show the writer executing on their idea in great detail. Small and specific details, such as applying analytical laboratory skills from AP Chemistry, make the writer’s creativity come to life. 

From start to finish, this essay shows that the key to writing a stellar response to this prompt is to fill your writing with details and vivid imagery. 

The second to last paragraph of this essay focuses a bit too much on how the writer built their business. Though many of these details show the writer’s creativity in action, a few of them could be restated to make the connection to creativity clearer. The last sentences could be rewritten like so: 

Working on my business was where my creativity blossomed. In my workshop, optimization techniques that I learned in AP Calculus became something new — the basis for space-efficient packaging for my products that reduced my dependence on unsustainable filler material…

Profusely sweating after trying on what felt like a thousand different outfits, I collapsed on the floor in exasperation. The heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down in disdain; with ten minutes left to spare before the first day of seventh grade, I let go of my screaming thoughts and settled on the very first outfit I tried on: my favorite.

Donning a neon pink dress, that moment marked the first time I chose expression over fear. Being one of the few Asians in my grade, clothing was my source of disguise. I looked to the bold Stacy London of What Not to Wear for daily inspiration, but, in actuality, I dressed to conceal my uniqueness so I wouldn’t be noticed for my race. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I envied the popular girls who hiked their shorts up just a few inches higher than dress code allowed and flaunted Uggs decorated with plastic jewels, a statement that Stacy London would have viewed as heinous and my mother impractical. 

However, entering school that day and the days after, each compliment I received walking down the hallways slowly but surely broke down the armored shield. Morphing into an outlet to amplify my voice and creativity, dressing up soon became what I looked forward to each morning. I was awarded best dressed the year after that during my middle school graduation, a recognition most would scoff at. But, to me, that flimsy paper certificate was a warm embrace telling me that I was valued for my originality and expression. I was valued for my differences. 

Confidence was what I found and is now an essential accessory to every outfit I wear. Taking inspiration from vintage, simplistic silhouettes and Asian styles, I adorn my body’s canvas with a variety of fabrics and vibrant colors, no longer depriving it of the freedom to self expression and cultural exploration. I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California with opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.

Colorful language and emotion are conveyed powerfully in this essay, which is one of its key strengths. We can see this in the first paragraph, where the writer communicates that they were feeling searing judgment by using a metaphor: “the heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down.” The writer weaves other rich phrases into the essay — for example, “my screaming thoughts” — to show readers their emotions. All of these writing choices are much more moving than plainly stating “I was nervous.”

The essay moves on to tell a story that responds to the prompt in a unique way. While typical responses will be about a very direct example of expressing creativity, e.g. oil painting, this essay has a fittingly creative take on the prompt. The story also allows the writer to avoid a common pitfall — talking more about the means of being creative rather than how those means allow you to express yourself. In other words, make sure to avoid talking about the act of oil painting so much that your essay loses focus on what painting means to you.

The last sentence of the essay is one more part to emulate. “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included…” is a well-crafted, flawlessly succinct metaphor that looks to the future while connecting the end of the essay to its beginning. The metaphors are then juxtaposed with a summary of the essay’s main topic: “intertwine creativity with my identity.” 

This essay’s main areas for improvement are grammatical. What Not to Wear should be italicized, “self-expression” should be hyphenated, and the last sentence could use the following tweaks to make it less of a run-on: “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California. There, I will have opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.”

Since identity is the main topic of this essay, it would also be fitting for the writer to go into more depth about it. The immediate takeaways from the essay are that the writer is Asian and interested in fashion — however, more descriptions could be added to these parts. For example, the writer could replace Asian with Laotian-American and change a sentence in the second to last paragraph to “dressing up in everything from bell bottom jeans to oversized flannel shirts soon became what I looked forward to each morning.”

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. 

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

One of the largest strengths of this response is its speed. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we focus ourselves in the present, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” A common essay-writing blunder is using a predictable structure that loses the attention of the reader, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Another positive of this essay is how their passion for environmental activism shines through. The essay begins by describing the student’s connection to nature (“nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world”), moves into discussing the personal actions they have taken (“substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer”), and then explains the rally the student hosted. While the talent the student is writing about is their ability to inspire others to fight against climate change, establishing the personal affinity towards nature and individual steps they took demonstrate the development of their passion. This makes their talent appear much more significant and unique. 

This essay could be improved by being more specific about what this student’s talent is. There is no sentence that directly states what this student considers to be their talent. Although the essay is still successful at displaying the student’s personality, interests, and ambition, by not explicitly mentioning their talent, they leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.

Depending on how quickly they read the essay or how focused they are, there’s a possibility the reader will miss the key talent the student wanted to convey. Making sure to avoid spoon-feeding the answer to their audience, the student should include a short sentence that lays out what they view as their main talent.

At six, Mama reads me a story for the first time. I listen right up until Peter Pan talks about the stars in the night sky. “What’s the point of stars if they can’t be part of something?” Mama looks at me strangely before closing the book. “Sometimes, looking on is more helpful than actively taking part. Besides, stars listen- like you. You’re a good listener, aren’t you?” I nod. At eleven, my sister confides in me for the first time. She’s always been different, in a way even those ‘mind doctors’ could never understand. I don’t understand either, but I do know that I like my sister. She’s mean to me, but not like people are to her. She tells me how she sees the world, and chokes over her words in a struggle to speak. She trusts me, and that makes me happy. So, I listen. I don’t speak; this isn’t a story where I speak. At sixteen, I find myself involved with an organization that provides education to rural children. Dakshata is the first person I’ve tutored in Hindi. She’s also my favorite. So, when she interrupts me mid-lesson one evening, lips trembling and eyes filling with tears, I decide to put my pen down and listen. I don’t speak; I don’t take part in this story. Later, as I hug the girl, I tell her about the stars and how her mother is among their kind- unable to speak yet forever willing to listen. Dakshata now loves the stars as much as I do. At seventeen, I realize that the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks me about a skill I possess is my ability to listen. Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but it’s important. When you listen, you see, you need not necessarily understand, but you do comprehend. You empathize on a near-cosmic level with the people around you and learn so much more than you ever thought possible. Everything is a part of something- even the stars with their ears.

The essay as a whole is an excellent example of narrative-based writing. The narrative begins with a captivating hook. The first sentence catches the reader by surprise, since it does not directly respond to the prompt by naming the writer’s greatest talent or skill. Instead, it tells a childhood story which does not seem to be related to a skill at first. This creates intrigue, and the second sentence adds to it by introducing a conflict. It causes readers to wonder why Peter Pan’s stargazing would make a six year old stop listening — hooked into the story, they continue reading.

The writer continues to create a moving narrative by using dialogue. Dialogue allows the writer to show rather than tell , which is a highly effective way to make an essay convey emotion and keep readers’ attention. The writer also shows their story by using language such as “mind doctors” instead of “psychologists” — this immerses readers in the author’s perspective as an 11 year old at the time. 

Two motifs, or recurring themes, tie the essay together: listening and looking at the stars. The last paragraph powerfully concludes the essay by explaining these themes and circling back to the introduction.

Crafting transitions is one area where this essay could be improved. The paragraph after “I nod” begins abruptly, and without any sentence to connect the writer’s dialogue at age six with her experiences at age 11. One way to make the transition smoother would be to begin the paragraph after “I nod” with “I try to be a good listener again at eleven, when my sister confides in me for the first time.”

This essay would also be more impactful if the writer explained what they aspire to do with their ability to listen in the future. While it is most important for your essay to explain how your past experiences have made you who you are in the present, looking towards the future allows admissions readers to imagine the impact you might make after graduation. The writer could do this in the last paragraph of their essay by writing the following: “Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but I find it important — especially as an aspiring social worker.”

Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words)

I distinctly remember the smile on Perela’s face when she found out her mother would be nursed back to health. I first met Perela and her mother at the Lestonnac Free Clinic in San Bernardino where I volunteered as a Spanish translator. I was in awe of the deep understanding of biology that the medical team employed to discover solutions. Despite having no medical qualifications of my own, I realized that by exercising my abilities to communicate and empathize, I could serve as a source of comfort and encouragement for Perela and her mother. The opportunity to combine my scientific curiosity and passion for caring for people cultivated my interest in a career as a physician.

To further explore this interest, I attended a summer medical program at Georgetown University. I participated in lectures on circulation through the heart, practiced stitches on a chicken leg, and assisted in giving CPR to a dummy in the patient simulation laboratory. Every fact about the human body I learned brought with it ten new questions for me to research. I consistently stayed after each lecture to gain insight about how cells, tissues, and organs all work together to carry out immensely complicated functions. The next year, in my AP Biology class, I was further amazed with the interconnected biological systems as I learned about the relationships between the human body and ecosystems. I discussed with my teacher how environmental changes will impact human health and how we must broaden our perspectives to use medicine to tackle these issues.

By integrating environmental and medical science, we can develop effective solutions to reduce the adverse effects of environmental degradation that Perela’s mother may have faced unintentionally. I want to go into the medical field so I can employ a long-term approach to combat biology’s hidden anomalies with a holistic viewpoint. I look forward to utilizing my undergraduate classes and extracurriculars to prepare for medical school so I can fight for both health care and environmental protection.

This student primarily answers the prompt in their middle paragraph as they describe their experience at a summer medical program as well as their science coursework in high school. This content shows their academic curiosity and rigor, yet the best part of the essay isn’t the student’s response to the prompt. The best part of this essay is the way the student positions their interest in medicine as authentic and unique.

The student appears authentic when they admit that they haven’t always been interested in medical school. Many applicants have wanted to be doctors their whole life, but this student is different. They were just in a medical office to translate and help, then got hooked on the profession and took that interest to the next level by signing up for a summer program.

Additionally, this student positions themself as unique as they describe the specifics of their interest in medicine, emphasizing their concern with the ways medicine and the environment interact. This is also refreshing!

Of course, you should always answer the prompt, but it’s important to remember that you can make room within most prompts to say what you want and show off unique aspects of yourself—just as this student did.

One thing this student should be careful of is namedropping Georgetown for the sake of it. There is no problem in discussing a summer program they attended that furthered their interest in medicine, but there is a problem when the experience is used to build prestige. Admissions officers already know that this student attended a summer program at Georgetown because it’s on their application. The purpose of the essay is to show  why attending the program was a formative moment in their interest.

The essay gets at the  why a bit when it discusses staying after class to learn more about specific topics, but the student could have gone further in depth. Rather than explaining the things the student did during the program, like stitching chicken legs and practicing CPR, they should have continued the emotional reflection from the first paragraph by describing what they thought and felt when they got hands-on medical experience during the program. 

Save describing prestigious accomplishments for your extracurriculars and resume; your essay is meant to demonstrate what made you you.

I love spreadsheets.

It’s weird, I know. But there’s something endlessly fascinating about taking a bunch of raw numbers, whipping and whacking them into different shapes and forms with formulas and equations to reveal hidden truths about the universe. The way I like to think about it is that the universe has an innate burning desire to tell us its stories. The only issue is its inability to talk with us directly. Most human stories are written in simple words and letters, but the tales of the universe are encrypted in numbers and relationships, which require greater effort to decode to even achieve basic comprehension. After all, it took Newton countless experimentation to discover the love story between mass and gravitation.

In middle school, whenever I opened a spreadsheet, I felt like I was part of this big journey towards understanding the universe. It took me a couple of years, but I eventually found out that my interest had a name: Data Science. With this knowledge, I began to read extensively about the field and took online courses in my spare time. I found out that the spreadsheets I had been using was just the tip of the iceberg. As I gained more experience, I started using more powerful tools like R (a statistical programming language) which allowed me to use sophisticated methods like linear regressions and decision trees. It opened my eyes to new ways to understand reality and changed the way I approached the world.

The thing I love most about data science is its versatility. It doesn’t matter if the data at hand is about the airflow on an owl’s wing or the living conditions of communities most crippled by poverty. I am able to utilize data science to dissect and analyze issues in any field. Each new method of analysis yields different stories, with distinct actors, settings, and plots. I’m an avid reader of the stories of the universe, and one day I will help the world by letting the universe write its own narrative.

This is an essay that draws the reader in. The student’s candid nature and openness truly allows us to understand why they are fascinated with spreadsheets themself, which in turn makes the reader appreciate the meaning of this interest in the student’s life. 

First, the student engages readers with their conversational tone, beginning “I love spreadsheets. It’s weird, I know,” followed shortly after by the phrase “whipping and whacking.” Then, they introduce their idea to us, explaining how the universe is trying to tell us something through numbers and saying that Newton discovered “the love story between mass and gravitation,” and we find ourselves clearly following along. They put us right there with them, on their team, also trying to discover the secrets of the universe. It is this bond between the student and the reader that makes the essay so engaging and worth reading.

Because the essay is focused on the big picture, the reader gets a sense of the wide-eyed wonderment this student experiences when they handle and analyze data. The student takes us on the “big journey towards understanding the universe” through the lens of Data Science. Explaining both the tools the student has used, like R and statistical regression, and the ideas the student has explored, like owl’s wings and poverty, demonstrates how this student fits into the micro and macro levels of Data Science. The reader gets a complete picture of how this student could change the world through this essay—something admissions officers always want to see.

The biggest thing that would improve this essay is an anecdote. As it’s written, the essay looks at Data Science from a more theoretical or aspirational perspective. The student explains all that Data Science can enable, but besides for explaining that they started coding with spreadsheets and R, they provide very little personal experience working with Data Science. This is where an anecdote would elevate the essay.

Adding a story about the first data set they examined or an independent project they undertook as a hobby would have elicited more emotion and allowed for the student to showcase their accomplishments and way of thinking. For example, they could delve into the feeling of enlightenment that came from first discovering a pattern in the universe. Or maybe they could describe how analyzing data was the catalyst that led them to reach out to local businesses to help them improve their revenue. 

If you have an impactful and enduring interest, such as this student does, you will have at least one anecdote you could include in your essay. You’ll find that essays with anecdotes are able to work in more emotional reflection that make the essay more memorable and the student more likable.

Prompt: What have you done to make your community a better place? (350 words)

Blinking sweat from my eyes, I raised my chin up to the pullup bar one last time before dropping down, my muscles trembling. But despite my physical exhaustion at the end of the workout, mentally, I felt reinvigorated and stronger than ever.

Minutes later, I sat at my computer, chatting with my friends about our first week in quarantine. After listening to numerous stories concerning boredom and loneliness, it struck me that I could use my passion for fitness to help my friends—I jumped at the chance to do so. 

After scouring the internet for the most effective exercises and fitness techniques, I began hosting Zoom workouts, leading friends, family, and anyone else who wanted to join in several fun exercises each week. I hoped these meetings would uplift anyone struggling during quarantine, whether from loneliness, uncertainty, or loss of routine. I created weekly workout plans, integrating cardio, strength, and flexibility exercises into each. Using what I learned from skating, I incorporated off-ice training exercises into the plans and added stretching routines to each session. 

Although many members were worried that they wouldn’t be able to complete exercises as well as others and hesitated to turn their cameras on, I encouraged them to show themselves on screen, knowing we’d only support one another. After all, the “face-to-face” interactions we had while exercising were what distinguished our workouts from others online; and I hoped that they would lead us to grow closer as a community. 

As we progressed, I saw a new-found eagerness in members to show themselves on camera, enjoying the support of others. Seeing how far we had all come was immensely inspiring: I watched people who couldn’t make it through one circuit finish a whole workout and ask for more; instead of staying silent during meetings, they continually asked for tips and corrections.

Despite the limitations placed on our interactions by computer screens, we found comfort in our collective efforts, the camaraderie between us growing with every workout. For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.

This essay accomplishes three main goals: it tells a story of how this student took initiative, it explores the student’s values, and it demonstrates their emotional maturity. We really get a sense of how this student improved their community while also gaining a large amount of insight into what type of person this student is.

With regards to initiative, this student writes about a need they saw in their community and the steps they took to satisfy that need. They describe the extensive thought that went into their decisions as they outline the planning of their classes and their unique decision to incorporate skating techniques in at-home workouts.

Additionally, they explore their values, including human connection. The importance of connection to this student is obvious throughout the essay as they write about their desire “to grow closer as a community.” It is particularly apparent with their final summarizing sentence: “For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.”

Lastly, this student positions themself as thoughtful when they recognize the way that embarrassment can get in the way of forming community. They do this through the specific example of feeling embarrassment when turning on one’s camera during a video call—a commonly-felt feeling. This ability to recognize fear of embarrassment as an obstacle to camaraderie shows maturity on the part of this applicant. 

This essay already has really descriptive content, a strong story, and a complete answer to the prompt, however there is room for every essay to improve. In this case, the student could have worked more descriptive word choice and figurative language into their essay to make it more engaging and impressive. You want your college essay to showcase your writing abilities as best as possible, while still sounding like you.

One literary device that would have been useful in this essay is a conceit or an extended metaphor . Essays that utilize conceits tend to begin with a metaphor, allude to the metaphor during the body of the paragraph, and end by circling back to the original metaphor. All together, it makes for a cohesive essay that is easy to follow and gives the reader a satisfying opening and conclusion to the essay.

The idea at the heart of this essay—working out to strengthen a community—would make for a great conceit. By changing the anecdote at the beginning to maybe reflect the lack of strength the student felt when working out alone and sprinkling in words and phrases that allude to strength and exercise during the essay, the last sentence (“For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times”) would feel like a fulfilling end to the conceit rather than just a clever metaphor thrown in. 

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words)

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me. 

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, everytime I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This is a good essay because it describes the contribution the student made to their community and the impact that experience had on shaping their personality. Admissions officers get to see what this student is capable of and how they have grown, which is important to demonstrate in your essays. Throughout the essay there is a nice balance between focusing on planning the event and the emotions it elicited from this student, which is summed up in the last sentence: “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With prompts like this one (which is essentially a Community Service Essay ) students sometimes take very small contributions to their community and stretch them—oftentimes in a very obvious way. Here, the reader can see the importance of Academic Signing Day to the community and the student, making it feel like a genuine and enjoyable experience for all involved. Including details like the four months of planning the student oversaw, the specific committees they delegated tasks to, and the hundreds of students and parents that attended highlights the skills this student possesses to plan and execute such a large event.

Another positive aspect of this essay is how the student’s emotions are intertwined throughout the essay. We see this student go from being a shy figure in the background to the confident architect of a celebrated community event, all due to their motivation to create Academic Signing Day. The student consistently shows throughout the essay, instead of telling us what happened. One example is when they convey their trepidation to public speaking in this sentence: “I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets.”

Employing detailed descriptions of feelings, emotions, fears, and body language all contribute to an essay that reveals so much in subtle ways. Without having to be explicitly told, the reader learns the student is ambitious, organized, a leader, and someone who deeply values academic recognition when they read this essay.

While this essay has many positives, there are a couple of things the student could work on. The first is to pay more attention to grammar. There was one obvious typo where the student wrote “the fourth-month planning was a laborious joy”, but there were also many sentences that felt clunky and disjointed. Each and every essay you submit should put your best foot forward and impress admissions officers with your writing ability, but typos immediately diminish your credibility as a writer and sincerity as an applicant.

It’s important to read through your essay multiple times and consider your specific word choice—does each word serve a purpose, could a sentence be rewritten to be less wordy, etc? However, it’s also important you have at least one other person edit your essay. Had this student given their essay to a fresh set of eyes they might have caught the typo and other areas in need of improvement.

Additionally, this student began and ended the essay with the smell of eucalyptus. Although this makes for an intriguing hook, it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual point of the essay. It’s great to start your essay with an evocative anecdote or figurative language, but it needs to relate to your topic. Rather than wasting words on eucalyptus, a much stronger hook could have been the student nervously walking up to the stage with clammy hands and a lump in their throat. Beginning the essay with a descriptive sentence that puts us directly into the story with the student would draw the reader in and get them excited about the topic at hand.

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or community a better place? (350 words) 

“I wish my parents understood.” Sitting at the lunch table, I listened as my friends aired out every detail of their life that they were too afraid to share with their parents. Sexuality, relationships, dreams; the options were limitless. While I enjoyed playing therapist every 7th period, a nagging sensation that perhaps their parents should understand manifested in me. Yet, my proposal was always met with rolling eyes; “I wish they understood” began every conversation, but nothing was being done beyond wishing on both sides. 

I wanted to help not just my friends but the countless other stories I was told of severed relationships and hidden secrets. Ultimately, my quest for change led me to BFB, a local nonprofit. Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I devised and implemented a plan for opening up the conversation between students and parents with the team I led. We successfully hosted relationship seminars with guest speakers specializing on a range of topics, from inclusive education to parental pressure, and were invited to speak for BFB at various external events with local government by the end of my junior year. Collaborating with mental health organizations and receiving over $1,000 in funding from international companies facilitated our message to spread throughout the community and eventually awarded us with an opportunity to tackle a research project studying mental health among teens during the pandemic with professors from the University at Buffalo and UC Los Angeles. 

While these endeavors collectively facilitated my team to win the competition, the most rewarding part of it all was receiving positive feedback from my community and close friends. “I wish my parents understood” morphed into “I’m glad they tried to understand”. I now lead a separate program under BFB inspired by my previous endeavors, advancing its message even further and leaving a legacy of change and initiative for future high schoolers in the program. As I leave for college, I hope to continue this work at the University of California and foster a diverse community that embraces understanding and growth across cultures and generations.

The essay begins with a strong, human-centered story that paints a picture of what the writer’s community looks like. The first sentence acts as a hook by leaving readers with questions — whose parents are being discussed, and what don’t they understand? With their curiosity now piqued, readers become intrigued enough to move on to the next sentences. The last sentence of the first paragraph and beginning of the second relate to the same topic of stories from friends, making for a highly effective transition.

The writer then does a great job of describing their community impact in specific detail, which is crucial for this prompt. Rather than using vague and overly generalized language, the writer highlights their role in BFB with strong action verbs like “devised” and “implemented.” They also communicate the full scope of their impact with quantifiable metrics like “$1,000 in funding,” all while maintaining a flowing narrative style.

The essay ends by circling back to the reason why the writer got involved in improving their community through BFB, which makes the essay more cohesive and moving. The last sentences connect their current experiences improving community with their future aspirations to do so, both in the wider world and at a UC school. This forward-looking part allows admissions officers to get a sense of what the writer might accomplish as a UC alum/alumna, and is certainly something to emulate.

This essay’s biggest weakness is its organization. Since the second paragraph contains lots of dense information about the writer’s role in BFB, it would benefit from a few sentences that tie it back to the narrative in the first paragraph. For instance, the third sentence of the paragraph could be changed like so: “Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I led my team through devising and implementing a plan to foster student-parent conversations — the ones that my 7th period friends were in need of.”

The last paragraph also has the potential to be reorganized. The sentence with the “I wish my parents understood” quote would be more powerful at the end of the paragraph rather than in the middle. With a short transition added to the beginning, the new conclusion would look like so: “ Through it all, I hope to help ‘I wish my parents understood’ morph into ‘I’m glad they tried to understand’ for my 7th period friends and many more.” 

I drop my toothbrush in the sink as I hear a scream. Rushing outside, I find my mom’s hand painfully wedged in the gap between our outward-opening veranda doors. I quickly open it, freeing her hand as she gasps in relief. 

As she ices her hand, I regard the door like I would a trivia question or math problem – getting to know the facts before I start working on a solution. I find that, surprisingly, there is not a single protrusion to open the door from the outside! 

Perhaps it was the fact that my mom couldn’t drive or that my dad worked long hours, but the crafts store was off-limits; I’ve always ended up having to get resourceful and creative with whatever materials happened to be on hand in order to complete my impromptu STEM projects or garage builds. Used plastic bottles of various shapes and sizes became buildings for a model of a futuristic city. Cylindrical capacitors from an old computer, a few inches in height, became scale-size storage tanks. 

Inspired by these inventive work-arounds and spurred on by my mom’s plight, I procure a Command Strip, a roll of tennis racket grip, and, of course, duct tape. I fashion a rudimentary but effective solution: a pull handle, ensuring she would never find herself stuck again.

A desire to instill others in my community with this same sense of resourcefulness led me to co-found “Repair Workshops” at my school – sessions where we teach students to fix broken objects rather than disposing of them. My hope is that participants will walk away with a renewed sense of purpose to identify problems faced by members of their community (whether that’s their neighbor next door or the planet as a whole) and apply their newfound engineering skills towards solutions.

As I look towards a degree and career in engineering and business, these connections will serve as my grounding point: my reminder that in disciplines growing increasingly quantitative, sometimes the best startup ideas or engineering solutions originate from a desire to to better the lives of people around me.

This essay is a good example of telling a story with an authentic voice. With its down-to-earth tone and short, punchy paragraphs, it stands out as a piece of writing that only the author could have written. That is an effective way for you to write any of your college essays as well.

After readers are hooked by the mention of screaming in the first sentence, the writer immerses the readers in their thinking. This makes the essay flow very naturally — rather than a first paragraph of narrative followed by an unrelated description of STEM projects, the whole essay is a cohesive story that shows how the writer came to improve their community. 

Their take on community also makes the essay stand out. While many responses to this prompt will focus on an amorphous, big-picture concept of community, such as school or humanity, this essay is about a community that the writer has a close connection to — their family. Family is also not the large group of people that most applicants would first attach to the word “community,” but writing about it here is a creative take on the prompt. Though explaining community impact is most important, choosing the most unique community you are a part of is a great way to make your essay stand out.

This essay’s main weakness is that the paragraph about Repair Workshops does not go into enough detail about community impact. The writer should highlight more specific examples of leadership here, since it would allow them to demonstrate how they hope to impact many more communities besides their family. 

After the sentence ending with “fix broken objects rather than disposing of them,” a new part could be added that shows how the writer taught students. For example, the writer could tell the story of how “tin cans became compost bins” as they explained the importance of making the world a better place. 

Then, at the end of the paragraph, the writer could more concretely explain the visions they have to expand the impact of Repair Workshops. A good concluding sentence could start with “I too hope to use engineering skills and resourcefulness to…” Adding this extra context would also make the paragraph transition better to the final paragraph of the essay, which somewhat abruptly begins by mentioning the writer’s previously unmentioned career interests in engineering and business.

Where to Get Feedback on Your UC Essays

Want feedback like this on your University of California essays before you submit? We offer expert essay review by advisors who have helped students get into their dream schools. You can book a review with an expert to receive notes on your topic, grammar, and essay structure to make your essay stand out to admissions officers. In fact, Alexander Oddo , an essay expert on CollegeVine, provided commentary on several of the essays in this post.

Haven’t started writing your essay yet? Advisors on CollegeVine also offer expert college counseling packages . You can purchase a package to get one-on-one guidance on any aspect of the college application process, including brainstorming and writing essays.

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The Existential Challenge of our Beauty Choices

What is the meaning of life? That question is often assumed to be the question posed by philosophers. While many philosophers ignore it, the existentialists promoted a philosophy that could directly impact our lives and provide meaning. In other words, existentialism is a philosophy that grapples with the question of being human. Rather than detaching from reality to grasp eternal truths, existentialists sought to disclose how truth affects them where they stand and into their futures.

An important existentialist philosopher, Simone de Beauvoir, is probably most known for her book The Second Sex , in which she famously proclaims, “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” But a lesser known work was her book, or extended essay, called Pyrrhus and Cineas . This short work opens with Cineas asking what Pyrrhus plans to do. Pyrrhus was developing plans for conquest. And with each new place Pyrrhus mentions he would conquer, Cineas replies, “And then what?” Beauvoir asks, “If it is never to be finished, what’s the use of starting?” This question guides us into reflecting on all of our actions, including our aesthetic choices.

The existentialists claim that each person creates their own essence, and we continue to become ourselves as we make new choices. This idea matters for the creators and users of beauty products because people are shaped by these products. With each new product that we either create or use, we can hear the echo of Cineas’s words, “And then what?” What motivates us to create new products or invest our money and time into buying and applying new products?

The reason why this question—And then what?—matters is not trivial. It’s not like the child continuously asking why. To illustrate, Beauvoir provides an example about a woman who becomes annoyed because water leaks into her shoes when it rains, and someone responds by asking why that matters since there are people starving to death in China. She reports that it matters because these are her shoes. In other words, we care about what happens directly to us, and we try to shape our lives accordingly. So, suppose she gets new shoes. And then what?

Jean-Paul Sartre famously said that we are condemned to be free. We are responsible for our actions, which can be freeing and frightening. How do we use our freedom? As mentioned, one way consists of our choice of fashion and beauty products. These kinds of products have regularly been criticized as superficial, but they form part of our identity. If they are merely superficial, then we would likely not put so much time and effort into developing them. We value them enough to alter what we wear or apply. To further explain, suppose a woman came into work with a mostly neutral or pastel color palette. Some might describe her typical appearance as modest, conservative, or even boring. Then, one day she shows up with a bright color scheme, and her overall style appears more daring and bold. People would perceive her differently, for better or for worse. People would likely question her about what caused the drastic change. Research suggests that she would also perceive herself differently.

Researchers Hajo Adam and Adam D. Galinsky developed the idea of enclothed cognition. When talking about clothing, the focus tends to fixate on how we perceive people and how they perceive us. They coined this term—enclothed cognition—to describe how clothing affects the wearer’s psychological states and processes. While more research is needed to create a stronger conclusion, we might have ready examples from our own experiences, such as doctors getting children to wear superhero costumes as they head to surgery to give them added courage. Or people claim they have a “power” suit they wear for important meetings because it gives them confidence.

While some garments or beauty products may be mostly functional, like a work uniform or a cream to lessen a scar after surgery, these things are often more like extensions of our identities. It’s how we present ourselves to others; it’s how we, in part, create ourselves. We make choices—even though we are influenced by others—about what to wear, what products to use, and other decisions about our tastes. We make these choices that impact how we act and interact with others.

Why is it important to be active in creating ourselves this way? One reason is to help combat the influence of others on us, and take more control of ourselves. Philosopher Skye Cleary’s book, How to Be Authentic , explains that people use coded language that shapes our behaviors from our earliest days. For example, when it comes to infants, a boy’s grip is perceived as strong, but a girl’s hands are perceived as delicate. To further illustrate, Cleary mentions the sociology research of Barbara Rothman, who shows that coded language begins while babies are still in the womb. Women who know the sex of their babies, use words like “strong" and “vigorous” for boys, while girls are said to “squirm.” Women who did not know the sex of their child, used similar language, but without the same patterns.

How can we be authentic when we are shaped by so many factors? We can’t say what a woman or a man is, according to Beauvoir, because there is no absolute answer. People are more complicated than our simple attempts to answer these questions. No one fits perfectly in a box. So, it is up to each individual to decide how to live, who to become. Products from beauty and fashion help us to experiment and create the ways we want to project ourselves to the world; how we want to be in the world.

Consumers receive most of the attention in discussions about identity and the beauty industry. This makes sense because businesses need people to buy their products, and those consumers need to formulate reasons for their purchases. However, we also need to acknowledge the beauty brand founders. The particular types of products and the particular version of those products are not merely happenstance. Neither are their products only the result of market analysis. Chance and analysis play a role, but the founders, especially in the early phases of their business, formulate products that are extensions of their identities. After all, the brand founder had to make choices about design, marketing, story, colors, and so on. And these choices reflect the founder’s identity. Whether your primary role is a founder or a consumer, you should make deliberate choices to reflect your identity, in order to be authentic.

2 Article(s) Remaining

ERNO LASZLO: THE TEAM AND CULTURE BEHIND THE HERITAGE BEAUTY BRAND

Nov. 12, 2018, beauty disruptor series: jessica defino on creating a new beauty narrative, mar. 31, 2022, dibs beauty: the power of relatable beauty in the age of the aspirational, may. 9, 2023, 5 female beauty entrepreneurs divulge the challenges of the femtech space, jun. 8, 2023, divine devotion: exploring the cult of beauty, jan. 21, 2024, beauty disruptor: heather widdows on our progression towards a global beauty ideal, may. 7, 2024.

Belly Dance for Emotional Healing

Table of contents, introduction, when a therapist suggests exercise..., releasing tension, looking at the studies, real people, real benefits.

Still, despite the lack of formal research, you generally don't have to look very far to hear anecdotal stories about how specific individuals have found healing through Oriental dance.

Although dance has played a role in helping many people cope with their psychological issues, it is very important to seek the care of a qualified mental health professional as the primary source of healing. Dance teachers can teach dance, and dance has helped some people. However, belly dance classes should not be seen as a substitute for a skilled counselor or psychiatrist.

Below are stories shared with me by real people describing how belly dance has played a role in their own journeys.

Rape & Sexual Abuse

Lucy Lipschitz, whose web site addresses how belly dancing has helped her emotional recovery from rape and threatened murder, reports, "Over the years, as I have danced, I am slowly getting over basic issues about having a woman’s body." She had been stalked by a man who found her "irresistible", and afterward she was shocked to find she wasn't believed because she was a female. The horror of that experience led her to self-destructive behavior such as drugs and illicit sex.

She initially took up belly dancing when still a teen-ager, and at the same time fell into a wild lifestyle. The dance became her passion, her only reason to live. In fact, she made it through some suicidal episodes by clinging to her classes and the occasional performance opportunity. Life then took her in other directions for a time, but 20 years after wandering away from belly dancing, she came back to it. By then, she had managed to overcome her self-destructive lifestyle through the help of a 12-step program, and was successfully embracing a new life of sobriety. The dance taught her to love her body, and helped her understand that every size is a good size. She now reports, "The more I dance, the more centered I am."

Cheryl (not her real name) was sexually abused as a child. She started belly dancing around age 20. Although she started dancing because she loved dancing, she found it helped her recover from the need to hide her body from attack, from the terrible vulnerability she felt whenever she felt at all attractive.

Mary (not her real name) struggled with bulimia for 4 years as a teen-ager. Although she began doing Oriental dance after her recovery, she has found that the dance has helped her maintain her healthy attitude through a number of ways. She found it eye-opening to see many beautiful, full-figured, over-40 women at home in their curvaceous bodies, and realized the media's standard of beauty isn't the only legitimate one. Dance has put her in touch with what her body wants. It also serves as a meditation for her, exorcising the demons and stress of everyday living. The dance has also helped her discover a social network of women who accept different cultures and possess an inner strength. She summarizes what the dance has done for her as follows: "In short, Middle Eastern dance makes me happy. And when I am happy, engaging in self-destructive behavior is the furthest thing from my mind. I am more content with my body image now than I've ever been in my life. Discovering this dance form has been a true blessing."

A video from Filmakers Library titled Belly: Overcoming Bulimia tells the story of Katherine Bruce Laing's struggle with bulimia. Eventually, she joined a belly dancing class and through watching her classmates discovered that even a full-figured body can be beautiful through the sensuous moves of this dance form. While performing for friends and family in her first belly dance recital, she experienced an epiphany and discovered that she could love her own body.

Coping with Breast Cancer

Carol originally started to belly dance just for recreation. Some years later, she suffered botched reconstructive surgery following a mastectomy for breast cancer. She observed, "Dancing for myself only and listening to and really feeling the music made me feel so much a woman again. The rhythm and the movements are so feminine that they couldn't help but help me heal. I was even able to make my now-ex think of me as sexy once again." Then severe injuries from a bad car accident forced three years of surgeries and inactivity on her. She started belly dancing again for exercise and weight loss. Again, it helped her heal. She said, "It is almost inexplicable - unless to others like you who share the joy and love of the dance and music - how it makes you feel a oneness, a wholeness, almost a completeness that is so therapeutic and so self-healing to both the mind and soul, and therefore also the body."

In the Belly Dancer Breast Cancer Survey that she used to have online, Diana DeMille reports that 85% of the respondents said yes to the question, "Do you feel belly dancing is healing?" One of the people who responded said, "Belly dancing restores physical, emotional and spiritual health to the cancer survivor. It has great exercise value, gets those 'feel good' endomorphines stirring, enhances the results of the range of motion exercises. It helps you feel better about yourself. In most cases it brings you a special bond with other dancers whether they are cancer survivors or not. And it expresses your joy, gratefulness and celebration that you are alive!"

Inner Strength for Physical Recovery

Natasya suffered a horrible back injury at work. She used yoga to regain her range of motion, but it was her love of dance that gave her a reason to work toward a full recovery. Sometimes she would even lie flat on her back on the floor and practice finger cymbals! Despite her doctor's predictions, she recovered to the point where once again she can perform professionally.

Before Dunya's whiplash injury, she was very athletic. In addition to dancing, she worked out at the gym 4-5 times per week. The injury robbed her of these activities that were an important part of her life. She was still able to play Middle Eastern music with her band, but her activity level was curtailed. A few weeks later, her band played for a troupe performance, then moved on to music for everyone to get up and dance. Dunya reports, "I slipped onto the floor to move a bit, and found myself surrounded by beautiful, undulating women with soft smiles and shining eyes. They were obviously sending me their love and support for my healing. I was very touched by the experience, and I will always remember the fantastic feeling of being in the center of that circle of dancers."

Gamila in Brazil says, "Last year I was very depressed, went to the hospital, had to take medicines, but dancing was the main thing that made me become healthy again."

Scylla from Oregon emerged from childhood with such low self-esteem that she avoided most social interactions. Eventually depression led her to the brink of suicide. One evening, while doing ceramics at a local art center, she heard wonderful music coming from elsewhere in the building and followed the sound. Upon finding the belly dancing class in progress, she was enthralled by the music, the costumes, and the personalities of the three teachers, all named Judy.

Scylla recalled, "The dance class helped me to explore physically the places in myself my psychologist (another wonderful woman) led me to explore emotionally. In therapy I was learning that I had to love myself, and to listen to my own needs and feelings and value them. In trying to dance I discovered I did not love myself, and much of my pain came from my own anger towards, and dislike for, myself. Slowly, painfully I began to enjoy moving to the music. I allowed myself to move and discovered I could like my body in movement; that it was strong and limber and could "fly" when I did not freeze up with rejection of self. The dance was a place where I had no history to haunt me. It was entirely new, and gave me a chance at beginning all over again to grow up and explore and learn who I was; just like a child just starting out. Dance is a gift that I received from from three women which literally saved my life." For Scylla, the "three Judys" brought to mind the triple goddess of ancient tradition who presided over her initiation into a new and joyous life.

Maintaining Well-Being

Mishaal, a dancer in Japan, reports, "I certainly feel that dancing contributes to my physical, psychological, and spiritual health. At times it's been for healing, but mostly I think of it more as ongoing preventive health care. I can say for certain, when I don't take some time away for myself to dance, I do start to feel sick. I don't mean performing, or even 'practicing'. I mean taking a little time each day to dance for 'me'. It's not that I do it 'for my health', but because it does feel so good! When I'm in need of answers, psychological or spiritual, I dance, and I feel the healthy answers come to me from, I can say, a higher source."

How to Try It for Yourself

First, please remember that belly dancing is not a sufficient substitute for getting professional help from a licensed counselor or psychiatrist! If you have deep issues, please, please seek appropriate assistance from these trained health care professionals!

Assuming you're already under the care of a competent health care professional, here are some suggestions on how to get started exploring whether belly dancing can be helpful to your own journey to emotional health:

PHOTO CREDIT: The above right photo was by Pixie Vision Productions, Glendale, California.

Choosing the Right Teacher

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21 inspirational beauty quotes for her to feel beautiful and confident

B eauty quotes help women feel beautiful and confident in a world where they are consistently bombarded with unrealistic beauty standards and societal norms. Such quotes help celebrate and recognize the inherent beauty that resides within every woman.

Beauty extends beyond physical appearance - it encompasses self love, confidence, and authenticity.

Magazines, advertisements, and social media platforms frequently propagate narrow ideals, leading individuals to perceive beauty through a limited lens. Inspirational beauty quotes counterbalance, challenging these rigid norms and encouraging a broader, more inclusive perspective on beauty.

One primary purpose of inspirational beauty quotes is to provide affirmations that counteract negative self-talk. In a world where individuals may feel pressured to conform to external expectations, these quotes serve as reminders that true beauty extends beyond physical appearance. Affirming statements such as "You are enough just as you are" become potent shields against unrealistic beauty standards.

Here is a curated collection of 21 inspirational beauty quotes that resonate with the essence of true beauty.

Make her feel beautiful with these 21 inspirational beauty quotes

By highlighting inner beauty, these quotes can help women recognize their worth, fostering a positive self-image that transcends societal judgments.

Inspirational beauty quotes play a pivotal role in shifting the focus from external validation to internal appreciation. These quotes redirect attention to the importance of emotional well-being, mental health, and self-acceptance. This paradigm shift is instrumental in nurturing a lasting sense of confidence that isn't dependent on fleeting external affirmations.

1) "Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself." - Coco Chanel

2) "You are imperfect, permanently, and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful." - Amy Bloom

3) "The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence." - Blake Lively

4) "Beauty is power; a smile is its sword." - John Ray

5) "True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul." - Audrey Hepburn

6) "To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are." - Ellen DeGeneres

7) "You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are." - Melissa Etheridge

8) "Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran

9) "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths." - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

10) "You are beautiful because you are unique. There is no one else in the world like you, and that makes you incredibly special." – Elizabeth Arden

11) "You are enough just as you are." - Meghan Markle

12) "The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul." - Audrey Hepburn

13) "Confidence breeds beauty." - Estée Lauder

14) "Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical." - Sophia Loren

15) "Outer beauty attracts, but inner beauty captivates." - Kate Angell

16) "Your self-worth is determined by you. You don't have to depend on someone telling you who you are." - Beyoncé

17) "You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop." - Rumi

18) "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde

19) "True beauty is born through our actions and aspirations and in the kindness we offer to others." - Alek Wek

20) "Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that's when you're most beautiful." - Zoe Kravitz

21) "To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." – Thich Nhat Hanh

Inspirational beauty quotes contribute to the creation of a supportive community. When shared and discussed, these quotes become a communal language of encouragement. Women can uplift each other by exchanging these affirmations, creating an atmosphere where everyone feels seen, valued, and beautiful in their own right.

Inspirational beauty quotes serve a profound purpose in reshaping societal narratives and empowering women to redefine their relationship with beauty. By affirming worth, promoting self-love, and celebrating authenticity , these quotes act guiding individuals toward a deeper understanding of what it truly means to be beautiful.

In the journey toward confidence and self-love , these beauty quotes are not mere words but powerful affirmations that echo the collective sentiment: every woman is inherently beautiful, deserving of recognition, and capable of embracing her unique radiance.