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Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem

Exploring some options to understand and help..

Posted August 2, 2022 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

• Mental health challenges and neurodevelopmental differences directly affect children's ability to do homework.
• Understanding what difficulties are getting in the way—beyond the usual explanation of a behavior problem—is key.
• Sleep and mental health needs can take priority over homework completion.

Chelsea was in 10th grade the first time I told her directly to stop doing her homework and get some sleep. I had been working with her since she was in middle school, treating her anxiety disorder. She deeply feared disappointing anyone—especially her teachers—and spent hours trying to finish homework perfectly. The more tired and anxious she got, the harder it got for her to finish the assignments.

One night Chelsea called me in despair, feeling hopeless. She was exhausted and couldn’t think straight. She felt like a failure and that she was a burden to everyone because she couldn’t finish her homework.

She was shocked when I told her that my prescription for her was to go to sleep now—not to figure out how to finish her work. I told her to leave her homework incomplete and go to sleep. We briefly discussed how we would figure it out the next day, with her mom and her teachers. At that moment, it clicked for her that it was futile to keep working—because nothing was getting done.

This was an inflection point for her awareness of when she was emotionally over-cooked and when she needed to stop and take a break or get some sleep. We repeated versions of this phone call several times over the course of her high school and college years, but she got much better at being able to do this for herself most of the time.

When Mental Health Symptoms Interfere with Homework

Kids with mental health or neurodevelopmental challenges often struggle mightily with homework. Challenges can come up in every step of the homework process, including, but not limited to:

• Remembering and tracking assignments and materials
• Getting the mental energy/organization to start homework
• Filtering distractions enough to persist with assignments
• Understanding unspoken or implied parts of the homework
• Remembering to bring finished homework to class
• Being in class long enough to know the material
• Tolerating the fear of not knowing or failing
• Not giving up the assignment because of a panic attack
• Tolerating frustration—such as not understanding—without emotional dysregulation
• Being able to ask for help—from a peer or a teacher and not being afraid to reach out

This list is hardly comprehensive. ADHD , autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety , generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression , dysregulation, and a range of other neurodevelopmental and mental health challenges cause numerous learning differences and symptoms that can specifically and frequently interfere with getting homework done.

The Usual Diagnosis for Homework Problems is "Not Trying Hard Enough"

Unfortunately, when kids frequently struggle to meet homework demands, teachers and parents typically default to one explanation of the problem: The child is making a choice not to do their homework. That is the default “diagnosis” in classrooms and living rooms. And once this framework is drawn, the student is often seen as not trying hard enough, disrespectful, manipulative, or just plain lazy.

The fundamental disconnect here is that the diagnosis of homework struggles as a behavioral choice is, in fact, only one explanation, while there are so many other diagnoses and differences that impair children's ability to consistently do their homework. If we are trying to create solutions based on only one understanding of the problem, the solutions will not work. More devastatingly, the wrong solutions can worsen the child’s mental health and their long-term engagement with school and learning.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about children who sometimes struggle with or skip homework—kids who can change and adapt their behaviors and patterns in response to the outcomes of that struggle. For this discussion, we are talking about children with mental health and/or neurodevelopmental symptoms and challenges that create chronic difficulties with meeting homework demands.

How Can You Help a Child Who Struggles with Homework?

How can you help your child who is struggling to meet homework demands because of their ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD , school avoidance, or any other neurodevelopmental or mental health differences? Let’s break this down into two broad areas—things you can do at home, and things you can do in communication with the school.

Helping at Home

The following suggestions for managing school demands at home can feel counterintuitive to parents—because we usually focus on helping our kids to complete their tasks. But mental health needs jump the line ahead of task completion. And starting at home will be key to developing an idea of what needs to change at school.

• Set an end time in the evening after which no more homework will be attempted. Kids need time to decompress and they need sleep—and pushing homework too close to or past bedtime doesn’t serve their educational needs. Even if your child hasn’t been able to approach the homework at all, even if they have avoided and argued the whole evening, it is still important for everyone to have a predictable time to shut down the whole process.
• If there are arguments almost every night about homework, if your child isn’t starting homework or finishing it, reframe it from failure into information. It’s data to put into problem-solving. We need to consider other possible explanations besides “behavioral choice” when trying to understand the problem and create effective solutions. What problems are getting in the way of our child’s meeting homework demands that their peers are meeting most of the time?
• Try not to argue about homework. If you can check your own anxiety and frustration, it can be more productive to ally with your child and be curious with them. Kids usually can’t tell you a clear “why” but maybe they can tell you how they are feeling and what they are thinking. And if your child can’t talk about it or just keeps saying “I don't know,” try not to push. Come back another time. Rushing, forcing, yelling, and threatening will predictably not help kids do homework.

Helping at School

The second area to explore when your neurodiverse child struggles frequently with homework is building communication and connections with school and teachers. Some places to focus on include the following.

• Label your child’s diagnoses and break down specific symptoms for the teachers and school team. Nonjudgmental, but specific language is essential for teachers to understand your child’s struggles. Breaking their challenges down into the problems specific to homework can help with building solutions. As your child gets older, help them identify their difficulties and communicate them to teachers.
• Let teachers and the school team know that your child’s mental health needs—including sleep—take priority over finishing homework. If your child is always struggling to complete homework and get enough sleep, or if completing homework is leading to emotional meltdowns every night, adjusting their homework demands will be more successful than continuing to push them into sleep deprivation or meltdowns.
• Request a child study team evaluation to determine if your child qualifies for services under special education law such as an IEP, or accommodations through section 504—and be sure that homework adjustments are included in any plan. Or if such a plan is already in place, be clear that modification of homework expectations needs to be part of it.

The Long-Term Story

I still work with Chelsea and she recently mentioned how those conversations so many years ago are still part of how she approaches work tasks or other demands that are spiking her anxiety when she finds herself in a vortex of distress. She stops what she is doing and prioritizes reducing her anxiety—whether it’s a break during her day or an ending to the task for the evening. She sees that this is crucial to managing her anxiety in her life and still succeeding at what she is doing.

Task completion at all costs is not a solution for kids with emotional needs. Her story (and the story of many of my patients) make this crystal clear.

Candida Fink, M.D. , is board certified in child/adolescent and general psychiatry. She practices in New York and has co-authored two books— The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child and Bipolar Disorder for Dummies.

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A+ Solutions

4 Simple Ways To Manage Homework Anxiety

According to Peters and Mayers, the author of “Overcoming School Anxiety” children who suffer from homework anxiety: • Become increasingly stressed when faced with homework • Forget to bring assignments home, or deny having any work assigned • Try to get out of going to school • Exhibit anxiety symptoms, such as frequent stomachaches, headaches, shortness of breath, or tightness in the chest when faced with doing homework or projects • Have trouble sleeping • Have tantrums and can be angry and irritable when doing homework • Show symptoms of depression, sadness or withdrawal

Peters and Mayers suggest the following strategies to help children with homework anxiety:

1. Empathize with your child: “Homework can be tricky sometimes…” “Homework can feel challenging…” 2. Encourage them to find a solution: “We are going to look into some strategies that can help you…” “We are going to figure this out…” “Lets put our heads together and get to the bottom of the problem.” 3. Go fishing: Try to find out what exactly is bothering the child about their homework. Do they not understand the directions, the material? Do they not feel comfortable asking their teacher for help? 4. Problem solve: It is helpful to figure out with your child the things that could make homework easier for them. You can ask them if they have the materials that they need? A quiet space? What time are they doing their homework- are they too tired? Do they need some time to relax before they can tackle it?

We can help our children with homework anxiety, empathy, encouragement, gentle probes and an attitude of problem solving can help.

Want to learn more? Call us at 216-896-0111

Peters-Mayer D., (2008) Overcoming School Anxiety. Amacom Books. NY

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Dealing With Missing Homework

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In the spring, a young teacher’s fancy turns to thoughts of . . . homework? That’s what happened in the TLN forum discussion group last week, when a fifth-year middle school teacher asked her colleagues: “What’s your feeling about students who won’t or don’t do work outside of school?”

She went on to explain:

I carefully plan my class so that the homework I give is meaningful. Basically, I ask students to continue the reading process we begin in school. Home reading is a valuable habit for them to develop, and practical since I can’t devote enough class time to silent reading for my students to get through books in a timely manner.

Much of the time they have chosen their own books and by October most of my students are reading in class and for homework. But I have a few students who just hold out on me. They read in class, but no matter what, it seems they won’t read at home. These are students who also don’t do any work outside of school in any of their other classes. It’s true they go home to chaotic environments and some have lots of household duties. But does this mean they truly can’t work outside of school? Or are they simply refusing? Is it okay? How hard should a teacher push on this?

My close colleague grew up with both her parents working long hours and she basically raised her four younger brothers and sisters. She was exhausted, but she did her school work despite it and she excelled in school. She is a great teacher and has no sympathy for students who don’t do work outside of school. She believes it’s necessary for students to take responsibility for their education and she refuses to “make excuses for them.” She has the highest number of failing students in the building. Nonetheless, students say they learn a lot from her and come back to visit her, saying she prepared them for high school (we both teach 8th grade).

Where do you stand on students working on assignments outside of school? What about those few that don’t?

A suburban high school English teacher replied:

There are a variety of aspects to consider: the students’ ages, individual circumstances, the expectations of the school and department, the expectations in their high schools, and any relevant standards you operate within.

I’m sure you appreciate the importance of communicating one-to-one with these students and showing that you value them and want to understand the relevant factors that prevent them from doing work. At the same time, you can use that interaction to communicate the importance of what you’re asking—how it will serve them well in the future, that it’s not an arbitrary requirement you cooked up to torture students. Beyond that, I’m not sure what the consequences should be for that age group, in your context.

Working with high school students in the context that I do, I have a clear expectation, consistent with my department, school, and district, that students must do work on their own outside of school. Like you, I aim to keep it relevant and valuable—no busy work. When students don’t do the work, I talk to them, and offer support and flexibility on the amount or timing of work as warranted—but there’s not much chance of getting around the basic expectation of reading and writing outside of school hours.

When students say they just can’t do it, I’m comfortable saying that they also can’t expect a grade of C or higher in the class. I try to present it as a matter of providing evidence. They may very well be capable of satisfactory completion of a high school English class, but if, for whatever reason, they can’t demonstrate it at this time, the grade is unfortunately reflecting that there’s no evidence to warrant a more desirable grade.

Another middle school teacher, in a small midwestern town, wondered: “Should failure be an option?”

I teach 7th grade math and try not to assign homework as such. However, math is very skill-oriented and there are assignments each day. Students who use class time wisely usually have little or no work to complete outside of class. I plan my assignments so students can complete them during class time because I want to be available to help them if they are struggling.

Unfortunately, the students who struggle most tend to be either slow workers or those who care very little about their grades anyway. These students seldom finish their assignments in OR out of class, and consequently, their grades suffer. I have a fairly liberal grading policy. Homework not turned in does not count against students. However, students who do not complete daily work have little chance of being successful on assessments.

I am not sure what the solution is. I have tried working with individual students, writing contracts with parents/students, offering to stay after school to help, whatever. But for some students (and their parents) school is simply not a priority. While I understand that other things interfere with students and time to complete assignments, I also feel that school should be their number one priority right now and somehow we need to make them understand this.

An upper elementary teacher in New York state wrote:

I see great value in the concept of meaningful homework for a variety of reasons. Obviously, it’s valuable for the transfer of content and strategies along with the positive effects of practice and reinforcement. I also think it is a perfect way to provide opportunities to build character in terms of responsibility and personal accountability—skills that can go a long way in life.

A high school teacher in the rural deep south remembered:

I once visited the home of a student who almost never did his homework. I discovered that he lived in a trailer (not double-wide) with five siblings, two cousins, and three adults. There were two light bulbs in the entire trailer: one in the bathroom, the other over the kitchen area. I started making arrangements for him to do his homework in my room after school or early in the morning.

Our local youth ministry operates a homework club that provides space and support for members to do homework a couple of nights each week. We have many parents who are illiterate or semi-illiterate. Some push their children to get an education; others are intimidated by anything from school and embarrassed that they can’t help their children. Consequently, I’ve become much less rigid about work done outside of school. It’s always optional, although I stress the value of it for the doer.

A teacher in California questioned whether there is evidence that homework actually improves learning.

I recently read an article stating that homework had little or no impact on student achievement in content. Other research I’ve read supports that thinking as well. It’s one of those sacred cows that would be worth discussing and learning more about.

Do my kids do work at home? Yes. But mostly they do it on their own terms based on what they need in order to accomplish projects by a certain date. Reading is an expectation too, but it’s always their choice of book. Work completion and quality have risen since I ceased assigning “homework,” and I see how much more serious they are about the work we do in class together.

Rick Wormeli, a TLN forum member who writes and speaks about homework issues frequently as a professional development consultant, had this to say:

Some teachers see homework as evidence of learning. This is true, but it’s formative evidence at best. As such, it is never to be used in the final summative grade, or if used, it should be used with an extremely small influence on the overall grade—2 percent, 5 percent, or similar. Most experts will cringe even at this concession. We should use any evidence gained in assessing homework assignments to provide feedback to students and revise instruction, not as the final declaration of what a child knows and is able to do regarding a standard or outcome.

Homework is definitely practice. In fact, in my middle school classes, we called it what it was—"practice.” The phrasing I used was, “Students, your science practice tonight will be...,” or, “For practice tonight in English, please do the following....” This kept both students and me mindful of homework’s true role in learning (and its weight in grading) and removed a lot of the emotional baggage associated with the term “homework.”

Nowhere else in the world do we grade practice. We don’t give the gold medal to Olympians who trained well and worked hard, we give it to those who achieve the highest results. Homework is the time to practice and wrestle with the ideas, try out hunches, and explore the topic. If the score on our practice work counts for much of our grade, we don’t have the freedom to explore without fear of labeling and rejection.

This, perhaps, is the change in metaphor we need to consider: Grades are not compensation. They never were. Grades are reports of what happened—that’s it. They are communication, and as such, they must be accurate.

If we include such factors as homework performance; the number of days he used a quiet, indoor voice; whether she brought her supplies in a timely manner; if she completed tasks assigned, met deadlines, or brought in canned food for food drives; or a host of other distorting factors, we remove all validity in the initial report of what the students knows and can do regarding the standards/outcomes. Now the grade can no longer be used to inform academic decisions, document progress, or provide accurate feedback. Our enterprise is undermined.

Some suggest that doing homework builds character and therefore should be counted in the grade. I agree that doing assigned tasks, meeting deadlines, managing time, and sticking it out to finish an assignment when you’d rather be watching television all have their place in building character. But responding with inappropriate grading policies is not the way to build moral fiber. Hold students accountable for doing homework and following through on requests from the adults in their lives, but don’t do it through your grading practices. Grades are very poor teachers.

One last thing: There are numerous research reports regarding the impact of homework on student achievement in school, and the correlations are nothing or next to nothing for primary and elementary grades. In middle school there is a small bump, and in high school a slightly higher bump, but the correlation is still stunningly low. We have to accept the fact that while homework is one tool for learning a topic, it is only that—one tool. We have hundreds of other ways to teach students.

If the homework door is closed for whatever reason, it’s not the end of learning. Consider how you would teach if you didn’t have homework assignments to rely upon. When I did this earlier in my career, it changed what I did the classroom. My instruction improved as a result.

So how about you? Is homework important? Do you include it in your grading system? Have your views changed over time?

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