hobbies paragraph for personal statement

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Hobbies and Interests Personal Statement Guide

Table of Contents

Hobbies and interests in a personal statement can do more to bring focus and clarity to your statements than fields of study. A good hobby can make a much more exciting and unique statement.

Before writing a personal statement, ensure you have a comprehensive list of your most impressive accomplishments, hobbies, jobs, and talents. Your interests have a significant role in your statement. But don’t think you can’t discuss them because you don’t have specific credentials.

This article provides tips on how to write compelling and distinctive personal statements using hobbies and interests. Read on!

Tips to Consider When Writing Hobbies and Interests in a Personal Statement

Personal statements benefit from including interest, but doing so might be challenging. You won’t go wrong if you stick to these guidelines while writing your statement.

1. Don’t Talk About Your Passion for Its Own Sake

Put less emphasis on the hobby than you should on the qualities it exposes about you.

Don’t talk about your passion for its own sake unless it’s relevant to your field of study. For instance, if you’re applying to dental school, you should do more than state that you enjoy painting. Instead, you should explain how you plan to combine your appreciation for the visual and performing arts in your chosen field.

Making these associations may be complex at first. If you’re stuck for ideas, try writing down why you appreciate your activity and your chosen field. If you see a connection, you should use it.

2. Avoid Claiming That Your Leisure Hobbies Are “exactly Like” Your Future Career

You may say that being a football team captain gave you the leadership skills you’ll need as a doctor. You may also state that your love of art led you to dentistry.

Still, you shouldn’t put too much stock in your current situation. If you can paint, that’s great, but it doesn’t indicate you have the skills to be a dentist. It’s not fair to compare your responsibilities as a football captain to those of a doctor.

Recognizing that your interests reflect aspects of you differs from asserting that your interests are almost similar to your future profession.

The admissions committee will likely take great pride in their work. Therefore, it’s not a good idea to compare it to your hobbies. There are two ways in which these ties can strengthen your application essay.

First, they demonstrate your ability to apply knowledge gained in various contexts to your professional growth.

Second, they prove that your extracurricular activities are relevant to your chosen profession. It is not merely a wishful thinking exercise about your future.

3. How Well You Do in Your Interest Is Important

If your college swimming team won the state title, don’t just say that you swam there. Highlight the skills that helped your team succeed and include examples of how you’ve applied those skills elsewhere.

A well-rounded individual is very desirable in the eyes of the admissions’ committee because achievement in one area usually equals greatness in another.

However, here’s the catch: excelling in your pastime isn’t enough. You need to demonstrate that the skills that helped you succeed in your fun can serve you well in your chosen profession.

If you don’t, people may assume that you’re the type to let your passions get in the way of your professional development and studies. You want your extracurricular activities to be a selling point, not a drawback.

4. Show How Your Interest Benefits Others

It’s a given in nearly every personal statement that the author has some sort of altruistic motivation. However, only a few students can convey their genuine desire to help others in their accounts.

The admissions’ committee can learn much about your character from hearing about your interests and passions. It is an essential detail to provide, but something that is normally expected to be said may make them more skeptical.

5. Your Interests Should Take up No More Than a Few Phrases

The admissions officers can be difficult to predict. Your Mount Everest climb may inspire the admissions board that they can’t forget it.

However, how you describe your connection to the field you’re applying to likely garner greater attention from admissions officers.

You should describe your activities in a few sentences, but you can organize them to maximize their impact. Include a brief discussion of your hobbies near the beginning of your statement to demonstrate how they influenced your early career path.

Your statement should emphasize your potential as a professional in your field, regardless of where you focus. With so little room, every word must count.

Example of Great Hobbies and Interests Personal Statement

The hobby or interest part of an application that stands out. Here’s a great example of all we have discussed using an INK example;

I am a passionate hobbyist with diverse interests and an enthusiasm for learning new skills. Over the years, I have explored many hobbies, including painting, photography, playing music, gardening, and cooking – just to name a few!

My approach is holistic and creative, seeking out novel ways to engage my interests in exciting and engaging ways. When I was exploring painting, I experimented with different textures and styles to create unique compositions that reflected my aesthetic.

Similarly, as a musician, I endeavored to use unconventional instruments such as kazoos and xylophones to create offbeat melodies. Furthermore, I love utilizing technology to further my endeavors.

These projects have challenged and taught me new abilities, from audio production to Photoshop design. All-in-all, I relish any opportunity to tap into my multifaceted creativity and explore the bountiful world of hobbies and interests.

Your hobbies and interests personal statement are significant! If you have any hobbies or interests that you would like to include in your essay, make sure they are narrow enough.

There’s not enough time to show the committee your skill and passion for all your hobbies! Instead, you should go in-depth and show how the specific activity benefits others.

Abir Ghenaiet

Abir is a data analyst and researcher. Among her interests are artificial intelligence, machine learning, and natural language processing. As a humanitarian and educator, she actively supports women in tech and promotes diversity.

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How to make the most of your hobbies in your personal statement

I distinctly remember how daunting the task of summarising 17 years of hobbies, interests and skills into one piece of A4 was.

Personal statements are not easy, but the best tip I could give you about writing one, would be to start off listing all your achievements, hobbies, employment, work experience, skills.

Your hobbies are an important factor of your personal statement. But don’t let that make you feel you have to be a sporting champion or a creative genius to talk about them.

Here are some great rules to follow when writing your personal statement – follow these and you shouldn’t go far wrong!

• Use the ABC (activity, benefit, course) rule when writing your personal statement.
• Keep everything positive!
• Shout about your achievements and skills – don’t be shy
• Don’t let spelling and grammar mistakes hold you back.
• Find someone you trust to give you feedback.

Here is a small insight into how I used my hobbies within my personal statement:

Hobby One: Rugby Union

Sport is a great method of demonstrating valuable skills: teamwork, commitment, leadership. I juggled Premiership Rugby during Year 13; balancing academic work and a sporting career was a skill I perfected right through my degree. I had a real passion for sport, and this was central to my desire to study sports therapy.

Hobby Two: Part-Time Waitress

Part-time employment, even if it is totally unrelated to your course, can be a great example of motivation, efficiency and time-management. I was a waitress before I came to university, at a local pub. The extra cash I saved was ideal during fresher’s week, but specifically, I had to politely and professionally communicate with a variety of characters. This has helped me greatly in my Sports Therapy degree!

Hobby Three: Volunteer Rugby Coach

Volunteering shows your willingness to go above and beyond what might be expected of you. Personally, volunteering to coach children was a great skill to apply to my course; managing and first aiding children was something I covered during my degree. On a personal note, I really enjoyed being a role model to the young players, even if I did cringe massively when one asked for an autograph!

Hobby Four: Work Experience at a Sports Therapy Clinic

Relevant work experience to your course is a great asset to your personal statement. It demonstrates motivation and passion to study the course, and importantly, confirms your desire to study the course in more depth. Some courses, such as nursing or teaching , require recent work experience, so this might be worth checking as soon as possible with your course. Unusually, at the age of 16 following my year 10 work experience, I knew I wanted to be a sports therapist. I continued to work part time at a local clinic, which was an invaluable experience to me both academically and personally.

Hobby Five: Working on my family’s Dairy Farm

Many students believe there is a golden ticket that will be their pass into University. Thankfully that is not the case. Sharing an insight into your personality and background is something that can be subtly written into your personal statement. From my farming background, I could demonstrate other passions and interests aside from my academic or sporting achievements.

Your personal statement is your opportunity to talk directly to the admissions tutor – make it fun, positive and share an insight into your life! If you have any further questions, get to a Personal Statement clinic on a University Open Day , where someone can read through your personal statement.

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BEST Examples of Hobbies and Interests to put on a CV (2024 Guide)

Putting hobbies and interests on your CV is a great way to make your CV stand out from the crowd and impress the employer.

What you spend your free time on tells the employer a great deal about you, your values, your motivations, and in some cases, your skills and intelligence. This information can add real value to your job application and improve your chances of being shortlisted for a job interview.

David Littleford et al. , (2004) in their book Career Skills (pg. 14-15) mention under “other interests”:

“You should include hobbies and other interests, especially if they involve social and community activities. These activities are important – cover membership of societies, sports clubs/teams, etc. All these activities and the extent of your involvement give the recruiter clues about the real you and your interests.”

Use the guide and examples below to find out more about hobbies and interests and how to include them on your CV – let’s begin!

What are hobbies and interests?

Should i put hobbies and interests on my cv, what your hobbies “say” about you, what kind of hobbies should i put on my cv, examples of good personal interests to put on a cv, examples of best hobbies to put on a cv, how to write hobbies on a cv, location of the hobbies section on a cv, examples of different cv hobbies sections, things to avoid when writing your hobbies section.

A hobby is an activity that you regularly  pursue for enjoyment purposes, particularly during your leisure time. These are activities that generally relieve you from stress, tension or fatigue.

Examples of hobbies for a CV:

• Playing sports (football, tennis, hockey, cricket, etc.)
• Playing chess and solving puzzle games
• Reading and writing books, articles and publications
• Travelling and meeting new people
• Designing, drawing, sketching and painting
• Cooking and baking

An interest is an activity that you want to do or are currently doing on an  irregular  basis.

Examples of personal interests for a CV:

• Volunteering at local companies, clubs and organisations
• Organising events in the community
• Participating in fundraising events for charity
• Joining a professional, social or environmental group

The answer is, yes! Research has shown that adding relevant hobbies to your CV can make your CV more interesting, strengthen your job application and increase your chances of getting shortlisted for an interview. Putting your personal interests on your CV also shows the employer that you are a whole human being with a satisfactory life outside work and not a work robot.

If you lack work experience, your interests may show your suitability for the job in other ways. For example, they may give valuable information on your leadership potential or ability to work in a team.

Interviewers also use your interests to come up with ‘relaxing’ questions if the interview gets too hot or heavy; something which can help calm your nerves and improve your performance during the interview.

The benefits of including your personal interests on your CV:

• It will give the recruiter a fuller and more complete picture of you
• Extracurricular interests tell the employer that you are an all-rounded person who, besides just working, also enjoys having a good time
• They form a great basis for discussion at the interview stage
• Sporting activities indicate that you are fit, healthy and outgoing
• Involvement in the community suggests good interpersonal skills
• School leavers
• College students
• University graduates
• Candidates with little or no work experience
• Candidates who have blank space in their CVs that can be utilised

Remember that your CV is your personal marketing tool, and you should make the most out of using the totality of your CV, including the interests section, to “sell yourself” to the prospective employer.

• Senior professionals including managers and executives
• Candidates with a lot of work experience
• Candidates whose CVs are overflowing to more than 2 A4 pages

It’s not always appropriate to add this section to a senior CV. The more experience you have, the less important the hobbies and interests section becomes. Managers, executives and other experienced professionals are expected to show their skills and personal qualities from their work experience, achievements and educational background, without the need to resort to outside interests.

Phrases such as ‘Playing football’ , ‘solving puzzles’ , and ‘fixing computers’ are not generic terms without any meaning, rather; they carry a deeper message.

Here’s what the prospective employers will be subconsciously asking themselves when reading through the candidates’  CVs :

What do statements such as, “I play football on a regular basis”, “I enjoy solving puzzles” or “I like fixing computers” tell me about this candidate and their suitability for the job?

Many candidates do not realise that the hobbies and interests they include in their CVs can reveal a lot of information about them and their personalities.

Below is a list of some personal interests and activities and what they tell employers about the candidate:

List of hobbies and interests for a CV

Ask yourself: how do these interests add value to my application? Try to highlight your ability to interact, help and/or communicate with others.

Answer: Those that are relevant and add value to your application!

When deciding which interests to include, the golden rule to apply is;

Will it help me get the job?

Only include relevant hobbies, sports and leisure activities that display you in a positive light and strengthen your application; for example; interests which show that you are active, sociable and responsible.

Martin Yate, a best-selling careers author, outlines three broad categories of leisure activities to include on your CV in his book The Ultimate CV Book (Pg.35):

• Team sports (football, cricket, basketball, etc.)
• Determination activities (running, swimming, cycling, climbing, etc.)
• Brain activities (chess, reading, etc.)

However, not every one of the above categories may be suitable for your situation and the job that you are applying for. Only select the hobbies and interests that are relevant to the job and add value to your application.

• Bain activities (such as playing chess) are a good match for jobs which are technical or analytical in nature  (e.g. jobs in IT or science).
• Team sports (such as playing football) are a good match for jobs which require working with people on a daily basis (e.g. jobs in business or marketing).

Example of relevant and irrelevant hobbies for a web developer:

NOTE: Different activities can be interpreted differently depending on the job you are applying for. For example, “playing computer games” as a hobby is irrelevant to most jobs and may sometimes portray you as a self-absorbed individual living in their own little cyber world. However, the same hobby can add tremendous weight to your CV if you apply for a job as a video game developer, graphics designer or shop assistant at your local games shop!

How to match your interests with the job you are applying for:

There are thousands of hobbies and interests that people include in their CVs. Selecting the correct hobbies to include will depend on a number of factors, including the job sector and the job role/specifications.

Use the guidelines below to select the correct interests for your CV:

For example, if the job holder must have “excellent people skills” , you could mention your volunteering, team sports or socialising activities – all of which develop your communication, interpersonal and people skills. Don’t mention playing chess or jogging as that would be irrelevant.

If, on the other hand, the job specification states that the person must possess “outstanding technical skills” , you would mention playing chess, building computers and upgrading computer networks – things that indicate that you are technically competent and analytical-minded. Don’t mention socialising events because that would be less relevant.

Many companies have a ‘culture’ in the way they operated and how employees of that organisation behave. Google, for instance, is now famously known for allowing employees to play games, take a walk or do sports in order to relieve stress or become more productive during working hours. When applying for a job at a company like Google, there is no harm in showing a little bit of your fun, playful and human side because that fits in nicely with their company culture.

It is always a good idea to write down the list of skills and abilities that you possess and see which of these would add value if you include it in your CV. Skills and abilities are closely related to your hobbies and interest; therefore, you may include them in this section too.

List of interests and their relevance to different jobs

Interests enhance your CV because they show the employer that you are an all-round person with a passion and determination to undertake activities outside work.

The following personal interests will make your CV shine:

• Involved in local clubs, classes and groups. Involvement in clubs and student societies demonstrates that you have excellent interpersonal and people skills, traits that are highly valued by employers. Don’t forget to make mention any professional bodies you are a member of.
• Volunteering at local companies and organisations. Research has shown that the most important part of a candidate’s CV is their work experience section. If you don’t have any relevant work experience, it is highly recommended to take up some voluntary work to improve your skills, gain exposure to your industry and give your CV a great boost!
• Attending events, shows and exhibitions. Attending events, whether they are for business or pleasure, demonstrates to the employer that you are keen to learn about the latest trends in an industry or on a subject. It also shows that you are confident and enjoy meeting new people; two personal traits that are highly desired in almost all jobs.
• Organising events in the community. Employers love candidates that show initiative and take on additional responsibilities to further their skills and experience. Having experience in helping with community events is particularly useful if you want a job in events management, marketing or business management.
• Involved with charities (including campaigning and fundraising). Employers value charity work because it shows that you are socially conscious, compassionate and caring. It also demonstrates that you have great people skills and are capable of dealing with the public.

These interests enhance your CV because they inform the employer that you possess excellent interpersonal, organisational and communication skills which enables you to undertake these activities. It also confirms that you are motivated and determined about the things you are passionate about.

The following hobbies will give a boost to your CV:

• Exercise and sports. Adding sports to your CV will portray you as a healthy and fit individual. There are two types of sports; individual sports such as running, swimming and cycling, and team sports such as football, basketball, cricket and tennis. Individual sports portray you as a determined, passionate and strong-willed individual whereas team sports show that you have excellent interpersonal and teamwork skills.
• Playing brain games. Brain activities are great hobbies to add to any CV, especially if you pursue a career in computing, mathematics or science because they demonstrate excellent problem-solving and analytical skills. Playing chess or puzzle games also tells the employer that you are intelligent, thoughtful and capable of overcoming challenges.
• Writing. Writing as a hobby indicates that you have excellent written communication skills, a key requirement for copywriters, editors, public relations professionals, marketers and journalists. You don’t necessarily have to be writing voluminous books to mention this hobby on your CV! You can also include writing poems, short articles and blog posts.
• Mentoring and coaching. Employers highly value mentoring because they understand that teaching, advising or supervising someone requires great skill, patience and determination. This hobby is particularly useful to add to your CV if you’re applying for a job as a teacher, tutor, mentor, teaching assistant, sports coach or fitness instructor.
• Computing and IT. If you’re applying for a job in the information technology (IT) industry, you can add the following activities to your CV to enhance it; coding and programming, building and fixing computers, designing and developing websites, setting-up computer networks and keeping up with the latest developments in technology.
• Designing. Designing is an essential requirement if you’re looking to apply for a job in a creative industry such as marketing or design. Activities that you could add to your CV include designing art, drawing, sketching and painting by hand, and using computer-aided design (CAD) software to create 2D drawings and 3D models.
• Cooking, baking and eating. Who doesn’t like food, right? Cooking new dishes and baking cakes are great hobbies to add to your CV if you’re applying for a job in the hospitality and catering industry. You could also mention things like, ‘going out and eating at restaurants’ or ‘watching Food Channel or other food-related TV programmes (e.g. MasterChef)’. Passion for food goes a long way in this industry!

Below are the guidelines for writing a perfect hobbies section of your CV:

• Keep this section short and to the point as it is an extra/optional section; one to three interests are usually sufficient.
• Only include interests that are relevant to the job. For example, what value does “stamp and coin collecting” as a hobby add to the application of someone who applies for the logistics manager position? The answer: none. However, stamp collecting would be a very valuable hobby to mention when applying for a job as a stamp appraiser .
• Don’t use the usual lines about enjoying walking, reading or swimming; be more specific and describe them in sentences. For example, change “I enjoy reading” , to “I enjoy reading non-fiction and current affairs books” ), or change “Travelling” to “I have visited most major European cities,” etc.)
• Try to list interests that show a balance . A healthy interest in sports and the outdoors should be counterbalanced by other, more intellectual pursuits.
• Keep it real and don’t lie or exaggerate.

The interests section should be placed at the end of the second page , just before the CV references section :

Remember: This section is optional so placing it higher up on your CV will give the prospective employer the impression that you do not understand how to prioritise things. Think about it, how can your personal interests be more important to the employer than your work experience or qualifications?

Example 1 – Economist

Example 2 – teaching assistant.

Note: The example below is a bit long because the candidate had blank space in their CV and utilised it accordingly.

Example 3 – Civil Engineer

Example 4 – credit controller.

Example 5 – Journalist

It is best to avoid putting anything controversial or sensitive on your CV. Humans are by their nature very judgemental, so be wise about what you disclose on your CV. For example, some recruiters may judge you negatively if you included heavy metal as your favourite music genre.

Avoid mentioning interests that could reveal your private beliefs.

Stating that you are an “active member of the local church” may harm your chances of being invited to an interview, especially when the potential employer reading your CV is a strict atheist. Similarly, stating that you “volunteered on a number of Labour election campaigns” or that you are a “huge fan of Manchester United” is also not a very good idea.

Don’t mention very risky, dangerous or time-consuming hobbies such as rock climbing, deep sea diving, bungee jumping, parachuting and boxing. It is in the employer’s best interest that you are fit and well when you’re working for them!

One recruitment expert commented, “Personally alarm bells go off for me when I read about people jumping out of perfectly good aircraft or hanging off tall buildings on the thinnest of ropes!”

Interviewers use the interests section of your CV to identify any conflict of interest if your hobbies demand too much of your time that could interfere with your ability to do your job or meet deadlines. A potential conflict of interest could arise, for example, if you state that you run two part-time businesses alongside your day job.

You may think it’s a good idea to make up some hobbies to impress the employer but this is not a good idea.

One unfortunate applicant had put ‘theatre’ as one of their interests but was left speechless and embarrassed at the interview when they were asked about the kind of theatre they liked and the name of the last play they saw.

Make sure that you know enough to talk about every interest you list on your CV at the interview. Don’t include “Karate” as your hobby if the nearest you ever got to karate was watching a martial arts film! What if the interviewer is a black belt and asks you about the style of karate you have studied?

Over the years, recruiters have documented the many weird and inappropriate interests that they have seen on CVs, including:

• Eating pizzas
• Handling guns
• Frog dissection
• Swimming with saltwater crocodiles

Needless to say, none of these candidates was invited for a job interview!

Adding too many hobbies to your CV fills up valuable space that could be used for more important information. The following is a sample of a CV’s interests section that contains too many activities:

At this stage, the prospective employer will most likely be wondering: “Gosh, when will this person have any time to do some work?!”

Putting hobbies and interests on your CV is an excellent way of enhancing your CV and improving the chances of being shortlisted for a job interview. Regardless of your job or industry, you should only include hobbies or interests that are relevant and add value to your application.

If you’re still undecided on what to include, have a look at the great examples below to see which of these you can add to your CV.

The best personal hobbies and interests to put on a CV:

• Sports such as football, basketball and swimming.
• Exercise such as walking or going to the gym.
• Volunteering and participating in the community.
• Reading books, magazines or publications.
• Writing books, poems, articles or blog posts.
• Designing or drawing by hand or computer (CAD).
• Building things such as computers and product prototypes.
• Coaching, teaching, tutoring or mentoring someone.
• Organising events/activities for local charities or organisations.
• Learning a new skill such as public speaking or new technology.
• Cooking and baking when applying for food-related jobs.
• Playing brain games, puzzles, riddles and solving quizzes.
• Travelling to experience new cultures and meet new people.
• Learning a new language.

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How to structure your personal statement

Need some direction on your university personal statement? We've got a handy example of a personal statement structure for you to use!

There’s no single right or wrong way to write a personal statement, but the successful ones are usually well-researched, sincerely written and follow a familiar structural form. It’s a good idea to read examples of existing personal statements to get an idea of the many ways they can be written, but make sure the text you end up submitting is your own. 

To help you get an idea of how you could structure your personal statement, we’ve got a guideline for you to have a look at below. 

First paragraph   

Introduce yourself and why you want to study your chosen subject. It sounds obvious, but it’s what admissions tutors want to know.  

You can keep it simple and straightforward, or you can allow yourself some artistic license and explain how your interest in the subject began – perhaps a person or place where your curiosity is rooted, and why the subject is important to you.  

It's good to kick things off with something personal, but be mindful not to waffle or spend too long on it. Try to avoid the well-trodden cliches which you will certainly encounter as you research past examples online. 

Second paragraph   

Demonstrate your understanding of your chosen course through your current studies. Mention specific modules, and why they’re relevant to your degree, as well as things which you’ve recently learned which excite you.  

Include details in this section to reference later on – for example, mention what A-levels you’ve chosen, then when you’re writing about your career goals, reference how those A-level choices will help you achieve this. Doing this helps to create a cohesive and connected piece of writing. 

Third paragraph 

Detail any work experience, summer internships, jobs and volunteering positions which you’ve recently held. Ideally these will be relevant to your course, but remember that they are not expecting you to know everything about working professionally before starting your undergraduate studies.  

What you’re really doing is showing a dedication to pursuing your education in your own time. It shows initiative and the ability to take responsibility for your direction, both of which will be extremely useful to you while studying at undergraduate level. 

Fourth paragraph 

Use this paragraph to write about extracurricular activities and hobbies, because, yet be aware of pitfalls. Avoid simply listing all your hobbies and achievements, as this can feel quite impersonal if they are not written in context.  

Instead, choose two or three key examples and spend a few sentences linking them to your degree choice. It’s a nice touch to include a future-focused comment about how you intend to continue with a hobby at university, and how it might complement or combine with your studies. 

Fifth paragraph 

Make the final paragraph about your future career goals. It’s one of the most important paragraphs of your personal statement, so take your time with it.  

If you know what you want to do after university, give an outline of this. If you haven’t planned that far ahead, use the opportunity to dream a little. Using the skills, interests and qualifications that you mentioned earlier, build a narrative of how you might develop yourself through studying your degree. 

It’s important to note that you don’t have to follow these guidelines – it’s not the only way you can structure a personal statement by any means! You might use a few ideas from it, you might use all of them, you might use none. Find what works best for you in showing why you’re a good choice for the university admissions team. 

Want more personal statement help? Check out our personal statement guide!

Looking to find out what a uni is really like?  Book an open day visit!

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A guide to writing the best personal statement for your college application (with template and examples!)

Why is boasting about a best friend SO much easier than writing about yourself? Unfortunately, writing about yourself is exactly what a personal statement essay requires you to do–whether it’s for your college admissions application, or for a scholarship application to pay for college . Here’s our guide, to ensure you’re well-equipped to write a killer personal statement!

First off, what’s the purpose of a personal statement?

What topics can i write about, how do i decide what to focus on, in my college essay, okay, i’ve got my personal statement topic. but now i have to actually write it. 😱what do i do .

• Do you have personal statement examples? 

Now it’s your turn.

Your personal statement should share something about who you are, something that can’t be found in your resume or transcript.

For colleges:

• It should paint a picture for colleges to understand who we are and what we bring to the table. This is why it’s often better to tell a story, or give examples, rather than just list accomplishments.
• It should complement the other parts of your application. Consider your college application as a whole. Your personal statement, application short answers, and supporting documentation should together tell a story about who you are. This also means not being super repetitive with your personal statement and your short essays. (For instance, if you have to answer 3 questions AND submit a personal statement, maybe they shouldn’t ALL focus on music.)

For scholarship applications:

• It should indicate why you’re deserving of the scholarship. This often means making sure your essay relates to the scholarship provider’s goals. (Get more help on writing a killer scholarship essay here , and then make sure you’re applying as efficiently as possible. )
• It should showcase your strengths. This doesn’t mean it can’t acknowledge any weaknesses, but it surely shouldn’t only focus on negative aspects!

It can be overwhelming to figure out where to start. First, figure out what your choices are. Some colleges may have very specific college essay prompts. That said, many students apply using the Common App, which this year offers these 7 topics to choose from : 

• Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
• The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? ( Psst – If you choose this topic, you can sign up for Going Merry and apply for a scholarship bundle : one essay, multiple scholarships! )
• Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
• Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
• Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
• Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
• Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

You’ll notice that #7 is a catch-all that allows you to submit any personal statement about anything at all . 

So maybe that doesn’t help you narrow it down. 

Here’s a 3-step solution:

STEP 1. Brainstorm about your life

Dedicate 5-10 minutes each to brainstorming about these 4 sets of questions.

You can do this by yourself (writing down your thoughts), or do this exercise out loud with a friend or family member, and then jot down notes as you’re talking. If you “think out loud” better than you do on paper, brainstorming with someone else may be the way to go! 

(A) What were defining moments in your life?

How did these moments in your life changed you, what did you learn from it, and how has it shaped your future plans? Some topics might include:

• An accident or injury
• A best friend you made (or lost)
• A defining talk with a peer
• Something new you tried for the first time
• Revealing a sexual or gender identity, to friends or family
• Discovering something about your family ( e.g., see Jesus’s story )
• Moving to a new city
• Traveling somewhere, or learning about a new culture ( e.g., see Gabby’s story )
• Your first pet (new responsibilities as a fur mom or dad)

(B) What have you chosen to spend time on?

Remember to focus not just on the what , but also the why – What were your motivations? How did you feel? What have you learned? Some topics on this might include: 

• The moment you joined band, color guard, or the soccer team. 
• A time you struggled with that activity – e.g., Maybe you got passed over for captain of the soccer? Or maybe you got an injury and had to sit out on the sidelines? 
• Maybe a moment you really fell in love with that activity – e.g. Maybe the first time you investigated a story for the school newspaper and realized journalism was your calling?

(C) Whom or what are you inspired by?

How did you find out about this person or thing? Why are you inspired? In what ways are you inspired? Is there anything that inspiration has made you do (e.g. join a club, do an activity or internship on the topic)? Some topics on this might include: 

• Technology – Maybe a specific App made you inspired to learn to code? 
• Person in your life – Maybe meeting someone (or knowing someone in your family) has affected you? 
• A show, movie, book, or podcast that inspired you to look at life differently
• A dance or song that has made you interested in performing arts

(D) What are you proud of?

Make a list of all the things you’re proud of. These can be milestones, hobbies, qualities, or quirks that are what make you, you. Topics to consider might be:

• Times you saved the day – like that epic left-handed catch you made on the field
• Personal qualities – Maybe you’re really funny, or amazingly calm under pressure. What are some examples of times when you showed those qualities?
• Random life things you’re amazing at – Baking a mean chocolate brownie. Guessing how many gumballs are in a jar. Tell a story when that amazing talent was handy!

Don’t worry if some of your ideas repeat between sections. This is just a way to get ideas flowing! 

STEP 2. Shortlist your ideas

Identify your strongest ideas out of the bunch. This should probably be very few (2-4).

STEP 3. Freewrite about your possible essay topics.

Once you’ve brainstormed some ideas and identified 2-4 winners, we agree with Find the Right College – just start freewriting! Start by writing a few sentences or paragraphs about any of your shortlisted topics, and let the words flow. Write for about 15 minutes, on each shortlisted topic. Don’t worry about structure or organization – this is just an exercise so you feel comfortable getting the thoughts out of your head and onto paper. 

It will also allow you to see which of the topics seems to have the most “legs” — often, you’ll notice that your best topic will:

• Be the easiest to write about (those 15 minutes flew by!)
• Lead you to tell at least one interesting story
• Feel like it genuinely reveals something important about who you are
• Not be captured easily by other parts of your application (you’ll need a full 500 words to really be able to tackle this meaty topic)

Well, let’s start here: What makes a personal statement good or even great ?

Here are some things to keep in mind: 

1. Get personal.

Remember the “personal” in personal statement. We all have a story to tell, and we all have a different journey that led us to where we are today. We might think “someone already wrote about this” or we might think our story isn’t unique, but IT IS.

2. Speak like you.

Write your personal statement in a genuine tone that reflects who you are . There’s no right or wrong tone – just make sure your tone represents YOU. This means, in particular, not using big words just to show off. Often, this just seems like you’re trying to hard. (Or, even worse, you accidentally use the word incorrectly!)

3. Think about your audience.

Who will you be writing your personal statement for? What message do you want to convey? If it’s for to the college admissions committee, how do you show you’ll align well with the culture of the school? If it’s for a scholarship provider, how do you show you support their mission?

4. Hit the big three: Story, Implication, Connection to college/major.

Most successful college essays do at least 3 things: 

• Mention at least one anecdote or story. (“Show, don’t tell.”)
• Explain why that anecdote or story is important to who you are.
• End (or begin) by connecting this information, to why you are applying to this specific college. This may include information about the major (why you think their department/program is great), or more general information about what attracts you to the school (e.g., location, sports, extracurricular activities, Greek life). Get specific so the school knows you’re really interested in them! This is the one piece of your personal statement that probably shouldn’t be cut & paste.

Here’s an example of how to use that personal essay template:

• Story: When I was 11, my family traveled to Italy and visited museums — one specific painting made me fall in love with art. ( 1-2 paragraphs )
• Why important: After that trip, I did lots of art and studied lots of art. Mention specific extracurriculars. ( 3 paragraphs )
• Why this college: I want to apply to X college because of its excellent art program, which I can also complement by joining Y and Z clubs. Since it’s in New York, it’ll also offer my the opportunity to visit the countless art museums like MOMA. ( 1 paragraph )

5. Hit the length.

Make sure you keep within the required length. Normally if you aim for 500 words, you’re golden. Some college or scholarship applications will allow you to write up to 600 or 650 words.

6. Edit your work.

Once you’ve written your personal statement, step away from it. There was a time when we used to rely on pencil and paper to write down all of our ideas and information (including first-draft college essays). Now, we mainly rely on screens, so our eyes grow tired, causing us to miss typos and grammar mistakes.

So save that document in an easy-to-find folder on your computer. Then stepping away from your computer and taking a break helps relax your mind and body and then refocus when you come back to edit the document.

( Psst – If you’re applying for scholarships with Going Merry, we’ve got built-in spellcheck, and we allow you to save essays in your documents folder, so no work will get lost! )

We can’t stress this one enough: Don’t submit your personal statement without checking your spelling, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc.! All the grammar things! Your personal statement reflects who you are, from the topic you choose to the style you write it in, so impress colleges (or scholarship providers) with excellent structure and great grammar!

7. Then, ask someone else to edit it too.

We recommend asking a friend, counselor, or parent to read your personal statement before you submit the document. One more set of eyes will really help you get a second opinion on the tone, writing quality, and overall representation of who you are in your personal statement.

8. Be brave, and hit that “submit” button on your personal statement!

Finally, when everything is completed, click submit! Don’t hold back!

9. Remember, personal statements for your college app, can also be reused as scholarship essays.

Get double-use out of your personal statement. Going Merry is your home for all things scholarships–fill out a profile, get matched to eligible scholarships, and apply. You can even save essays so that you can easily upload the same one for multiple scholarship applications. (We were inspired by the Common App to make applying for scholarships easier.)

Register for an account here , get the full lowdown on how it works , or just sign up for the newsletter below (to get 20 scholarship opportunities delivered to our inbox each each week!).

Do you have personal statement examples ? 

Oh yes we do. First, here are some excerpts of personal statements from members of our very own Going Merry team!

Charlie Maynard, Going Merry CEO – wrote about what matters most to him and why, for his grad school application.

• The open paragraph read: “Being open to new ideas and able to take advantage of opportunities is what is most important to me. The most extraordinary times in my life have come as a result of moments when I’ve seized opportunities. This has been evident in my educational life, my travels around the world and my professional career.”
• This anchored the main topic of his essay. He then went on to explain examples.

Charlotte Lau, Going Merry Head of Growth – wrote for her college Common App personal statement:

“As a child, I was never close with my father, though we were always on good terms. He made me laugh and taught me all the things that made me into a young tomboy: what an RBI is, how to correctly hook a fish when I feel it biting, what to bring on a camping trip. But whenever I was upset, he wouldn’t know how to comfort me. He is a man of jokes and words, not of comforting motions.

But as I grew older and I too became infatuated with words—albeit in written form—our topics of conversation became more diverse and often more profound. We continued to watch sports games together, but during commercials, we’d have epistemological and ethical discussions more fitting for a philosophy class than a chat during a Knicks’ time-out. During these talks, my father would insert stories about his youth. They’d always be transitory or anecdotal, told as if they were beside the point. Still, I’d eagerly commit them to memory, and, over time, I began to get a sense of who my father was—and, in turn, who I am.”

Now, here are some excerpts from other sample personal statements:

These 3 are college essays about personal characteristics:

Essay 1: Humorous essay about getting a D and learning a lesson

“Getting a D probably isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it’s not something anyone wants to see, let alone put, on a college application. It came back to me, scrawled in red, on the first big history test of the year. The one the teacher had assured us was a third of our grade. I could already see my chances of a four-year college going up in smoke and my school year hadn’t even started yet.

What happened? I’m not a D student. I’ll get the occasional C as well as the occasional A. D’s are out of character for me, and enough of a stomach punch to really get my attention. The short version is, I didn’t study, and I don’t remember precisely why. There is always a reason not to study, isn’t there? I didn’t study and I went into a test woefully unprepared and got beaten up.

I had two options here. I could accept that I was in fact a D student despite what I had thought. Or I could study hard for the next test and try to bring my grade up by the force of the average.”

Essay 2: Why a talent (in this case, one at football) is also a responsibility

“Talent is not remarkable. It’s usually the first thing anyone compliments. “You’re so talented.” It doesn’t mean what they think it means. It doesn’t mean I worked hard. It means I was lucky, or blessed, or anything else you want to call it.

I have talent. I’ve known since I was old enough to hold a football. The game just makes intuitive sense to me. The pathways of the players, both my team and the others, where the ball has to go, and what I’m doing. In the silence before a snap, I’m already playing out what is going to happen, watching the holes in my lines, tracing the route of my receivers. […]

It is far too easy to view talent as an excuse. For me, it is a motivator. For my talent, I will accept nothing less than a dream that only a tiny percentage of people ever get to experience. To get there, I’m willing to work hard and wring every last accomplishment from myself.

Talent is a responsibility. Because you had nothing to do with acquiring it, you are compelled to achieve every last bit you can with it. While I had grown used to thinking varsity would be it, that was not the case. Now, I can focus on the goal while I accomplish the steps.”

Essay 3: On living with depression

“Before I was diagnosed, I had been told it was a normal part of growing up. I was told that teens are moody. I would grow out of it. I couldn’t imagine anyone growing out of what I was feeling. I couldn’t imagine anyone surviving.

Diagnosis and medication have saved my life, allowing me to see the world as people without my brain chemistry would. […] what I found was a place of tiny kindnesses.

It might sound bad—as though kindness can only exist in the smallest forms. This is not what I mean. There are extraordinary people out there who devote their lives to doing very large, very important things for others. I’m not talking about them, partially because they are extraordinary. They are not the norm.

What is normal are the tiny kindnesses. These do not cost a person much of anything. A slice of time, a moment of openness, and little else. They are a smile when you’re feeling down, a comforting hand on the shoulder, a moment to talk.”

And here are 3 college personal statements, about what drove their interest in their intended major: 

Essay 4: On why this applicant wants to study music

“My great-great-uncle Giacomo Ferrari was born in 1912 in Neverland, NY, the youngest of four sons. His parents had emigrated from Italy with his two eldest brothers in the early 1900s in search of a better life in America. Their struggles as immigrants are in themselves inspiring, but the challenges they faced are undoubtedly similar to those that many other immigrant families had to overcome; because of this, the actions that my relatives embarked upon are that much more extraordinary. Giacomo’s oldest brother Antonio, my great-grandfather, decided to take a correspondence course in violin, and to teach his youngest brother Giacomo how to play as well. Giacomo Ferrari eventually became an accomplished violinist and started a free “Lunchtime Strings” program for all the elementary schools in the Neverland area, giving free violin lessons and monthly concerts.

As a native English speaker who has had the privilege of studying viola and violin with trained, private teachers, I can only imagine the perseverance it took for my great-grandfather and great-great uncle to learn an instrument like the violin out of booklets and lessons that were not even written in their native language. Their passion and dedication to learning something new, something not part of their lives as blue-collar, immigrant workers, and their desire to share it with others, has inspired me as a musician and a person. It is this spirit that has motivated me to pursue an MA at Composition at the University of XXX.”

Essay 5: On why this applicant wants to be an allergy specialist

“Suddenly I started scratching my neck, feeling the hives that had started to form. I rushed to the restroom to throw up because my throat was itchy and I felt a weight on my chest. I was experiencing anaphylactic shock, which prevented me from taking anything but shallow breaths. I was fighting the one thing that is meant to protect me and keep me alive – my own body.

[…] After that incident, I began to fear. I became scared of death, eating, and even my own body. As I grew older, I became paranoid about checking food labels and I avoided eating if I didn’t know what was in the food. I knew what could happen if I ate one wrong thing, and I wasn’t willing to risk it for a snack. Ultimately, that fear turned into resentment; I resented my body for making me an outsider.

In the years that followed, this experience and my regular visits to my allergy specialist inspired me to become an allergy specialist. Even though I was probably only ten at the time, I wanted to find a way to help kids like me. I wanted to find a solution so that nobody would have to feel the way I did; nobody deserved to feel that pain, fear, and resentment. As I learned more about the medical world, I became more fascinated with the body’s immune responses, specifically, how a body reacts to allergens.”

Essay 6 : On why this applicant wants to study medicine  

“My passion for teaching others and sharing knowledge emanates from my curiosity and love for learning. My shadowing experiences in particular have stimulated my curiosity and desire to learn more about the world around me. How does platelet rich plasma stimulate tissue growth? How does diabetes affect the proximal convoluted tubule? My questions never stopped. I wanted to know everything and it felt very satisfying to apply my knowledge to clinical problems. distinct concepts together to form a coherent picture truly attracts me to medicine.

It is hard to separate science from medicine; in fact, medicine is science. However, medicine is also about people—their feelings, struggles and concerns. Humans are not pre-programmed robots that all face the same problems. Humans deserve sensitive and understanding physicians. Humans deserve doctors who are infinitely curious, constantly questioning new advents in medicine. They deserve someone who loves the challenge of problem solving and coming up with innovative individualized solutions. I want to be that physician. I want to be able to approach each case as a unique entity and incorporate my strengths into providing personalized care for my patients. Until that time, I may be found Friday mornings in the operating room, peering over shoulders, dreaming about the day I get to hold the drill.”

You made it this far. Now, it’s time to write your personal statement!

Ready to reuse your personal statement for scholarship applications? Sign up for Going Merry today for free to keep track of your scholarship applications and essays. We’re your one-stop shop for scholarship searches and applications.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

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Jul 10, 2023

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How to Write a Personal Statement: Tell Your Story for Success

What is a personal statement, the purpose of having a personal statement, structure of a personal statement, how to write a personal statement, tips for having an effective personal statement, personal statement example, personal clarity cultivates long-term vision.

It’s not uncommon during the application process to come across a section asking you to write a personal statement. This can happen whenever you fill out an application, whether it’s for college admissions, a new job, or anything else. If you’ve ever stared at the question, wondering what exactly they mean by “personal statement,” that’s understandable. They’re essentially asking you to distill who you are, where you excel, and what you stand for in the space of only a few paragraphs. That’s a lot of pressure, especially if you haven’t exactly thought about those key questions before. It will likely be the first time you’ve ever needed to know how to write a personal statement.

You shouldn’t let the intimidation of the moment overwhelm you. Don’t look at writing a personal statement as a chore but rather as an opportunity . This is your chance to truly express yourself and explain what makes you tick. It’s also an opportunity to show how you stand out over everyone else.

In this article, learn what a personal statement is, the purpose behind it, how to write one, and some additional tips for crafting the strongest personal statement you can.

“A personal statement should summarize what the candidate has done in the past, what they want to do next, and the skills/knowledge/experience that bridges the two.” Zena Everett, director and career coach at Second Careers

A personal statement is a detailed look at who you are, including your skills, values, achievements, goals, hobbies, passions, and any other information relevant to the position you are applying for. The main focus of a personal statement will largely depend on if the application is for a job or if it’s intended for a college admissions committee.

For example, a personal statement to get into college will likely talk about high school achievements and awards as well as what the individual hopes to study. 

A personal statement written for a job, on the other hand, will usually refer to accomplishments in past jobs as well as what you want to achieve as you advance in your career. 

In general, a personal statement for a job will be shorter, but both types should focus on what unique aspects you bring to the table along with the purpose that drives you to succeed. While not exactly a mission statement , it should reference what you hope to accomplish in life.

You shouldn’t wait to write a personal statement until the moment you see the question on an application. Preparing one beforehand will get you ready to answer what is a pretty important question. If you haven’t made one yet, write it ahead of time so you can refer to it when applying for a job, college, or graduate school. 

Essentially, a personal statement represents your personality, goals, and achievements in a succinct way for those in decision-making roles. They should get a good sense of who you are and what kind of person you want to become. You may also choose to include what career coach Donna Shannon calls a “passion statement,” which is a quick summary of why you love your job.

The following are some of the insights a personal statement can reveal to someone about you:

• Crucial events in your life that shaped you into the person you are today
• The core values that inform the most important decisions you make
• The ethical values that you strive to live by when no one is watching
• Times when you’ve needed to learn and grow
• A vision for your life that you hope to fulfill

Personal statements should include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. That much is pretty straightforward. However, the way in which you tackle the content of your personal statement usually follows one of two main structures: narrative or montage.

Narrative Structure

A narrative structure follows a story, only this time, you’re the main character who follows a hero’s journey. As part of the story, you can talk about the challenges you encountered in your life and how you overcame them . Then you can recount how you changed during that time, becoming the person that you are now. This structure is appropriate when you have faced big challenges and come out stronger on the other side.

Montage Structure

Not everyone faces a monumental challenge in their life. In such cases, a montage structure might be the best choice. This structure strings together a series of events and experiences you’ve had that all are tied into a similar theme . The experiences should represent different facets of your life that give helpful insight into your character and skills.

1. Create an Outline

While an outline won’t be seen by your intended audience, it is an indispensable step in creating the best personal statement you can. With an outline, you can organize your thoughts and properly plan out what your personal statement will include . This is the stage where you decide on your structure and what you’ll cover in the limited space you have. Creating an outline first will make writing your personal statement that much easier.

2. Begin With a Personality-Driven Introduction

Your introduction should serve more than just to ease the reader into your personal statement. Take the opportunity to show your personality from the very start . Indicate the type of person you are, and hook the reader with your unique qualities. Part of the introduction should discuss why the position or school interests you and why you would be the perfect fit there. The introduction should compel the reader to continue with the rest of the personal statement.

3. Detail Your Experiences, Skills, and Passions

Most of your personal statement should focus on the experiences, skills, and interests that make you different from everyone else. Use the body paragraphs to talk about what unique achievements you’ve accomplished. Go into detail about the skills you have that would be a huge benefit to the university or organization you want to join. Write about your goals and how much they mean to you.

You may find that all of these subjects lead to a personal statement that is far too long. While you want to be detailed, brevity is beneficial. One survey from the UK found that admissions officers spent on average only two minutes reading a personal statement. So pick and choose what you feel is the most relevant and unique information. Remember that you’re trying to sell them on the idea of having you join them. If it doesn’t contribute toward that end, there’s no need to include it. Harvard Business Review calls this “an elevator pitch to impress the recruiters.”

4. End With a Strong Conclusion

Your personal statement should conclude by summarizing many of the earlier points you made about why you want to be there and how you can help them. Make sure your conclusion is clear and strong. This is the final impression you’ll be able to give the reader, so you want it to be a positive one that makes them want to see more of you. Doing all this in a couple of sentences is an effective way to wrap up your personal statement.

5. Review and Refine

No personal statement will be perfect the first time you write it. Go back over what you wrote to proofread it. Check to make sure your spelling and grammar are correct. Review it to see that you’re getting your main points across. If possible, after writing your statement, let it sit for a day and come back later with some fresh eyes . In that way, you’ll be able to identify anything you might have missed.

Now that you know the basics of how to format a personal statement, review the following additional tips so that you produce the strongest, most dynamic statement possible.

• Get feedback from friends, family, and colleagues.
• Use active voice as much as possible.
• Be clear and concise.
• Avoid over-explaining.
• Use a positive tone throughout.
• Stay away from cliches.
• Name your most recent achievements, not things from many years ago.
• Choose specific examples instead of generalities.

An additional thing to note is to actually answer the questions given in the prompt. A general personal statement can still be effective, but the prompt usually tells you what exactly people will be looking for in your answer. Copying and pasting your personal statement for every application will lead to a statement that misses the mark, no matter how well-written it is. As recruiter and business manager Laura Ross writes , “If you don’t take the time to ensure your personal statement is relevant to each job application, it will appear that you’ve been a bit sloppy, or even lazy.”

Ultimately, you should never overlook the personal statement section of an application. “Take it seriously!” is the advice given by Darren Weeks, a senior recruitment partner at the Office for National Statistics. “A few lines isn’t good for a personal statement, and won’t provide the evidence needed to allow your application to be assessed fully.” Think about what you write, and give an honest, insightful response.

Note that the following is merely a personal statement example and not one you should follow word for word. This example also uses the montage structure mentioned above.

“From the moment I stepped through the doors of the first marketing agency I worked for, I’ve always believed in creating a deep connection with customers and clients. This has led to numerous successful projects over the course of my 10-year career in marketing, a pattern of success I know I can carry over to your organization.

One particular project that proved highly influential was a client-outreach program I spearheaded. Thanks to my bilingual background, I designed two different programs, thereby increasing the potential customer base and reaching more people than ever before. I was also part of a marketing team that doubled our company’s revenue while under a strict deadline with a limited budget. My planning skills were instrumental in getting that project off the ground. I also helped launch a new e-commerce branch, creating multiple opportunities to reach customers and solve their needs.

My track record as a successful marketer is one of solving problems for the companies I’ve worked for as well as the customers we have. As I continue to grow in my career, I will bring the same levels of success to your company while further refining my skills.”

Writing a personal statement helps you to gain perspective by facilitating greater long-term vision and self-understanding. In much the same way a vision statement can help an organization, having your own personal statement leads to better decision-making, clearer goals, and an overall stronger sense of self. All of these elements are necessary for success.

Establishing that vision can be a challenge, though. The following are some tips that will help you create a vision for your life.

• Ask yourself deep questions, such as what your ideal future looks like or what problems in the world truly bother you.
• Think about what purpose you hope to carry out in your life.
• Focus on the details of your vision.
• Communicate your vision to others.
• Keep distractions away from you.
• Gain an understanding that your vision can change and mature over time.

Creating a vision board can also help define your vision in life. For more on how to do that, read the following article:

How to Create a Vision Board That Works

Leaders Media has established sourcing guidelines and relies on relevant, and credible sources for the data, facts, and expert insights and analysis we reference. You can learn more about our mission, ethics, and how we cite sources in our editorial policy .

• Adams, R. (2023, June 15). UK university staff only read students’ personal statements for two minutes. The Guardian . https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/jun/15/uk-university-staff-only-read-students-personal-statements-for-two-minutes
• Laker, B. (2022, July 26). Switching Careers? Here’s How to Write a Strong Resume. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2022/07/switching-careers-heres-how-to-write-a-strong-resume
• Ross, Laura. “A Recruiter’s Guide To Writing A Powerful Personal Statement.” TMM Recruitment. https://www.tmmrecruitment.com/downloads/tmm_personal_statement_advice.pdf
• Shannon, D. (n.d.). The Passion Statement: Keystone of your job search. www.linkedin.com . https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/passion-statement-keystone-your-job-search-donna-shannon/
• Weeks, D. (n.d.). Personal Statements in recruitment – Why and How? www.linkedin.com . https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/personal-statements-recruitment-why-how-darren-weeks/
• Whitmell, C. (2014, April 8). What makes a recruiter hate your CV? The Guardian . https://www.theguardian.com/careers/careers-blog/recruiter-hate-cv-new-job-application

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How to Write a Personal Statement

A personal statement can be a key part of your college application, and you can really make yours shine by following a few tips.

When you're applying to college—either to an undergraduate or graduate program—you may be asked to submit a personal statement. It's an essay that gives you the chance to share more about who you are and why you'd like to attend the university you're applying to.  

The information you provide in your personal statement can help build on your other application materials, like your transcripts and letters of recommendation, and build a more cohesive picture to help the admissions committee understand your goals.

In this article, we'll go over more about personal statements, including why they're important, what to include in one, and tips for strengthening yours.

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement—sometimes known as a college essay —is a brief written essay you submit with other materials when applying to college or university. Personal statements tend to be most common for undergraduate applications, and they're a great opportunity for an admissions committee to hear your voice directly.

Many colleges and universities in the US, especially those using Common App , provide prompts for you to use. For example, "Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea" or "Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time" [ 1 ]. If the school you're interested in attending doesn't require prompts, you will likely want to craft a response that touches on your story, your values, and your goals if possible.

In grad school, personal statements are sometimes known as letters of intent , and go into more detail about your academic and professional background, while expressing interest in attending the particular program you're applying to.

Why is a personal statement important?

Personal statements are important for a number of reasons. Whereas other materials you submit in an application can address your academic abilities (like your transcripts) or how you perform as a student (like your letters of recommendation), a personal statement is a chance to do exactly that: get more personal.

Personal statements typically:

Permit you to share things that don't fit on your resume, such as personal stories, motivations, and values

Offer schools a chance to see why you're interested in a particular field of study and what you hope to accomplish after you graduate 

Provide an opportunity for you to talk about past employment, volunteer experiences, or skills you have that complement your studies 

Allow colleges to evaluate your writing skills 

Bring life to a college application package otherwise filled with facts and figures 

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How to write a personal statement.

As we mentioned earlier, you may have to respond to a prompt when drafting your personal statement—or a college or university may invite you to respond however you'd like. In either case, use the steps below to begin building your response.

Create a solid hook .

To capture the attention of an admissions committee member, start your personal statement with a hook that relates to the topic of your essay. A hook tends to be a colorful sentence or two at the very beginning that compels the reader to continue reading.

To create a captivating hook, try one of these methods:

Pose a rhetorical question. 

Provide an interesting statistic. 

Insert a quote from a well-known person.

Challenge the reader with a common misconception. 

Use an anecdote, which is a short story that can be true or imaginary. 

Credibility is crucial when writing a personal statement as part of your college application process. If you choose a statistic, quote, or misconception for your hook, make sure it comes from a reliable source.

Follow a narrative.

The best personal statements typically read like a story: they have a common theme, as well as a beginning, middle, and end. This type of format also helps keep your thoughts organized and improves the flow of your essay.

Common themes to consider for your personal statement include:

Special role models from your past

Life-altering events you've experienced

Unusual challenges you've faced

Accomplishments you're especially proud of

Service to others and why you enjoy it

What you've learned from traveling to a particular place

Unique ways you stand out from other candidates

Be specific.

Admissions committees read thousands of personal statements every year, which is why being specific on yours is important. Back up your statements with examples or anecdotes.

For instance, avoid vague assertions like, "I'm interested in your school counseling program because I care about children." Instead, point out experiences you've had with children that emphasize how much you care. For instance, you might mention your summer job as a day camp counselor or your volunteer experience mentoring younger children.

Don't forget to include detail and vibrancy to keep your statement interesting. The use of detail shows how your unique voice and experiences can add value to the college or university you're applying to.

Stay on topic.

It's natural to want to impress the members of the admissions committee who will read your personal statement. The best way to do this is to lead your readers through a cohesive, informative, and descriptive essay.

If you feel you might be going astray, ensure each paragraph in your essay's body supports your introduction. Here are a few more strategies that can help keep you on track:

Know what you want to say and do research if needed. 

Create an outline listing the key points you want to share.

Read your outline aloud to confirm it makes logical sense before proceeding. 

Read your essay aloud while you're writing to confirm you're staying on topic.

Ask a trusted friend or family member to read your essay and make suggestions.

Be true to your own voice.

Because of the importance of your personal statement, you could be tempted to be very formal with structure and language. However, using a more relaxed tone is better than you would for a classroom writing assignment. 

Remember: admissions committees really want to hear from you . Writing in your own voice will help accomplish this. To ensure your tone isn't too relaxed, write your statement as if you were speaking to an older relative or trusted teacher. This way, you'll come across as respectful, confident, and honest.

Tips for drafting an effective personal statement.

Now that you've learned a little about personal statements and how to craft them, here are a few more tips you can follow to strengthen your essay:

1. Customize your statement.

You don't have to completely rewrite your personal statement every time you apply to a new college, but you want to make sure you tailor it as much as possible. For instance, if you talk about wanting to take a certain class or study a certain subject, make sure you adjust any specifics for each application.

2. Avoid cliches.

Admissions committees are ultimately looking for students who will fit the school, and who the school can help guide toward their larger goals. In that case, cliches can get in the way of a reviewer understanding what it is you want from a college education. Watch out for cliches like "making a difference," "broadening my horizons," or "the best thing that ever happened to me."

3. Stay focused.

Try to avoid getting off-track or including tangents in your personal statement. Stay focused by writing a first draft and then re-reading what you've written. Does every paragraph flow from one point to the next? Are the ideas you're presenting cohesive?

4. Stick to topics that aren't controversial.

It's best not to discuss political beliefs or inappropriate topics in your essay. These can be controversial; ideally, you want to share something goals- or values-driven with an admissions committee.

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Article sources

1. Common App. " 2022-2023 Common App Essay Prompts , https://www.commonapp.org/blog/2022-2023-common-app-essay-prompts." Accessed January 9, 2024.

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How To Start A Personal Statement: Great First Paragraphs

What’s the first thing you do when writing a personal statement?

For many people, getting the opening paragraph right is the most immediate task, as it sets the tone for the rest of the application.

However, this is also the paragraph that applicants find hardest to write, as it requires a sophisticated combination of factual information and personal reflection.

So, how to start a personal statement?

Start a personal statement with a paragraph that engages the reader and establishes your academic credibility and potential in your field of study. You should also ensure that you include an element of personality combined with a relevant and effective hook, compelling the reader.

I’ve detailed my top three strategies for achieving this below in lots of detail, to ensure that you develop a fantastic opening paragraph.

I’ve also included some ideas for great personal statement hooks and advice about the mistakes to avoid when starting a personal statement.

Check out my post on starting the process of writing a personal statement here , if you’re beginning from scratch.

How do you Start a Personal Statement: Examples

Having worked with hundreds of applicants to develop and improve their applications, I’ve identified the three most effective strategies for starting personal statements and achieving brilliant opening paragraphs.

Whilst these are appropriate for any kind of application, course or subject, one will usually stand out as being most relevant.

Whichever option you choose, remember that the style you establish in your opening paragraph needs to be maintained throughout your entire personal statement.

Equally, your final personal statement paragraph needs to reflect the comments made at the beginning, completing the point you set out to make.

Statement Starter 1: The Significant Achievement

Beginning your personal statement by outlining the impact or value to you of a specific achievement can be an engaging way to establish your suitability, credentials or engagement.

It is also a great way to ensure that you begin by writing about yourself, not someone else.

This doesn’t necessarily have to be an academic accomplishment. However, it should communicate relevancy to the course or role you are applying for.

Maybe you took a team on an outward-bound course and developed leadership and resilience, which relates to the specifics of your application.

Perhaps you won a medal in a national maths challenge, adding credibility to your science personal statement?

In any case, not only do you need to explain the accomplishment and talk about its value to you, you need to make sure that you relate that directly to the demands of the course you are applying for.

Put simply…

You can think of these achievements as being divided into three groups, any of which would make an excellent point in an opening paragraph.

Academic Achievements

• Any kind of academic prize or publication beyond the taught curriculum
• High-level additional qualifications
• Success in solving an academic challenge
• Overcoming academic obstacles
• Courses attended or completed

Practical Achievements

• Subject success in a practical context – performances, exhibitions, online
• Work experience or internships
• Volunteering and community work
• Running your own business
• Accomplishments in sports or other interests
• Special events and sponsorship opportunities

Personal Achievements

• Caring for a friend or relative
• Overcoming adversity to do with health, opportunity, finance or geography
• Travel opportunities taken and their value
• Engagement with additional languages and cultures
• Employment and the ability to balance this with study
• Parental status

Here’s an example of how that kind of opening paragraph might look…

“Having won my school’s academic writing prize with an essay analysing the use of Python coding in contemporary medical technology, I was inspired to research the use of AI in clinical diagnosis and read ‘Life Decisions’ by Dr P Balmer. Her research into the use of algorithms to detect markers of illness is the inspiration behind my application.” Applicant 1

Statement Starter 2: The Inspirational Moment

The second kind of opening point is to outline an inspirational moment that in some way had a positive effect on you and is at the heart of your decision to study a particular subject or work in a particular field.

There are no rules here as to what this could be.

Sometimes the most honest of examples is the most effective, even if you feel that it lacks some depth or credibility.

I’ve seen extremely compelling personal statements in which the candidate’s inspiration is a parent’s love or a chance encounter with someone who opened their eyes to new possibilities. Equally, reading a book or listening to a lecture can entirely change your outlook on the world.

The important thing to remember is that your example must illustrate the effect that this moment had on you, provide the opportunity for you to show how you have grown from that moment and indicate how that outcome enhances your suitability.

Again, I’ve categorised these into three different groups to better illustrate their potential…

In-Person Experiences

• Formal meetings with inspirational people (at lectures, events, signings, locations, conventions, in the workplace etc)
• Informal meetings in unexpected places (a person who does you a good deed or suddenly changes your life in some way)
• Inspirational friends, peers or family that model a new behaviour or way of viewing the world
• Teachers, counsellors or advisors that have opened new doors for you
• People who have achieved significant success in a field you aspire to
• Role-models

Experiences That Change You

• Volunteering
• Community work
• Changes of circumstance
• Successes and failures
• Lessons, lectures, courses or conversations
• Cultural or social discoveries
• Socialising
• Hobbies and interests

Discoveries and Connections

• Historical figures whose legacy has had an impact on you
• Making links between disciplines, cultures or forms (lightbulb moments!)
• Seeing something for the first time (a painting, an experiment, a view)
• Understanding the relevancy of one subject or process to another

Here’s an example of an inspirational in-person experience that might form the basis of a compelling opening paragraph…

As a child, I worked alongside my mother who was a refugee coordinator in a transit camp set up to support families displaced due to civil war. Her compassion, energy, practicality and tireless generosity of spirit is my personal inheritance, and the example she set with her bravery and dedication to her beliefs underpins my application to read for a Political Ethics degree. Applicant 2

Statement Starter 3: The Course Connection

This last kind of opening point makes a direct connection to the course or role for which you are applying.

You should use the opportunity to establish your credentials as an engaged and informed candidate by showing that your skillset and experience relate directly to the demands of the course.

Not only does this strategy communicate your connection to your field, but it shows that you have done your research.

This, in turn, reassures the reader that you are likely to be picking the right subject, that you will probably complete your course of study (and your funding will remain in place as a consequence), and that you are likely to be an inspirational and successful member of the community.

You could also make links with current initiatives in your industry or field of study or consider how the contents of the course might inspire your future career choices.

Any one of these three headings might work for you…

Connections with Content, Assessment and Skills

• Understanding of the taught ideas and their connections to your present experiences
• Awareness of modules and the creation of a bespoke course of study
• Understanding and connection with various teaching styles
• Knowledge of assessment processes related to your relative strengths
• Existing skills that could be enhanced on the course
• Key practitioners and their value

Links with Current Initiatives

• Importance of specific research or facilities to your application
• Emerging fields of study that inspire you
• Changing technologies and their social application
• Reputation of specific providers or organisations
• Connections between organisations, industry and charity
• Placement opportunities

Connections to Outcomes, Alumni and Value

• Value of completing the course or fulfilling the role
• Skills gained and their value
• Previous graduates as role models for success
• Your value to the organisation
• Career ambitions and pathways to success through the course
• Impact you hope to have in the world
• The value to the organisation in having you within it

Here’s how that might look as an opening point…

The opportunity to study as a member of your community is underpinned by my ambition to develop a career in the Business Advisory sector. Your placement opportunities will allow me to build and contribute to the professional networks so vital to achieving my career goals. In particular, I am looking forward to developing my understanding of data use in the ‘Statistical Analysis in Project Management’ module. Applicant 3

What are Great Hooks for Personal Statements?

A ‘hook’ is just another way of describing a specific device that a writer uses to engage a reader. It’s the device embedded in the structure of your writing that connects all the components together, like a theme or idea.

Including a hook in the first paragraph of your personal statement can be an extremely effective way of framing your content and for keeping your writing on track.

You just have to remember that the rest of your writing needs to connect with your hook as you develop your application.

Here are six valuable hooks you can use to easily add a sense of purpose to your personal statement…

5 Mistakes to Avoid: Starting a Personal Statement

If you’ve followed the advice in this post, then hopefully, your personal statement will be free of mistakes and full of excellent content.

To make sure you don’t fall into any traps when you’re thinking about how to start a personal statement, here are the 5 mistakes to avoid in your opening paragraph…

Mistake 1: A terrible opening sentence . UCAS released some data a few years ago that revealed the most common opening lines in personal statements.  If you find yourself writing things like ‘from a young age’ or ‘for as long as I can remember’ then you’d do well to search for a wider range of sentence starters.

Equally, telling the reader that you are passionate about your subject has come to be a real cliché and is best avoided. Show your passion or commitment rather than simply writing that it exists.

Mistake 2: Telling a story . In an effort to make a personal statement more personal, it can be tempting to start with a personal anecdote or even to frame the entire document as a story. This is usually best avoided, as this approach will almost certainly lack relevance and immediacy and will eat into your word count without adding value.

Begin with an achievement, a moment or a connection, but not with a story!

Some compelling opening lines might look like this…

Mistake 3: Introducing yourself. Unless the guidelines indicate otherwise, there is no need to introduce yourself in your personal statement. It is not a letter and does not require that kind of introduction. Nor should you list your qualifications, achievements or educational history.

Similarly, this isn’t the place to outline your employment history; all these details can usually be included elsewhere in your application.

Mistake 4: Beginning with a quote . In my opinion, it’s an error to begin your personal statement with someone else’s words, even if they are compelling and relevant and you immediately develop an original train of thought. The first words encountered by a reader should be your own.

Quotes can be an exceptionally helpful device for framing your knowledge and opinions, but if you’re thinking about using them, check out my helpful post on exactly how to get the most value from a quote in a successful personal statement…

Mistake 5: Poor proofreading . Unquestionably, one of the worst mistakes to make in the first paragraph of a personal statement is to include errors of spelling, punctuation or grammar.

If the rest of the document is accurate and concise, it might not have a significant impact, but even so, an obvious, careless error can alienate and discourage an admissions officer at the outset, making them less likely to consider the rest of the content positively or make an achievable offer. 

I usually recommend a free software tool like Grammarly for proofreading; it’s simple and effective and will serve you well at university too! 

You can find out more about Grammarly here or hit the banner below.

Good luck with your personal statement, and don’t forget to contact me if you’d like some 1-1 support. You’ve got this! D

Research and content verified by Personal Statement Planet .

David Hallen

I've worked in the Further Education and University Admissions sector for nearly 20 years as a teacher, department head, Head of Sixth Form, UCAS Admissions Advisor, UK Centre Lead and freelance personal statement advisor, editor and writer. And now I'm here for you...

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How to Effectively Showcase Your Hobbies in a Personal Statement

Hobbies are a great way to showcase your personality and interests in a personal statement. They provide a glimpse into your passions and help to create a well-rounded image of who you are as a person. However, it’s important to write about your hobbies in a way that is effective and impactful. In this article, we will explore how to effectively showcase your hobbies in a personal statement, including tips on how to describe them and what to include. With these insights, you can create a personal statement that truly stands out and highlights your unique qualities and interests.

What are Hobbies?

Definition of hobbies.

Hobbies are activities that individuals engage in during their leisure time. They are often pursued for pleasure, interest, or personal satisfaction, and can range from simple activities such as reading or knitting to more complex hobbies like playing musical instruments or engaging in sports. Hobbies can also serve as a means of self-expression, creativity, and socialization.

In the context of personal statements, showcasing one’s hobbies can help demonstrate their interests, passions, and unique qualities, making them stand out from other applicants. However, it is important to ensure that the hobbies showcased are genuine and relevant to the desired program or field of study. Additionally, it is essential to describe the hobbies in a clear and concise manner , highlighting their significance and impact on personal growth and development.

Examples of hobbies

Hobbies are activities that people engage in during their leisure time. They can range from simple and straightforward activities like reading or playing video games to more complex and challenging activities like painting or playing a musical instrument. Hobbies can provide people with a sense of purpose, relaxation, and enjoyment, and they can also be a great way to learn new skills and meet new people.

Some examples of hobbies include:

• Playing sports like tennis, soccer, or basketball
• Painting or drawing
• Reading books or watching movies
• Playing musical instruments like the guitar or piano
• Playing video games or engaging in online gaming
• Traveling and exploring new places
• Engaging in outdoor activities like hiking or camping
• Cooking or baking
• Gardening or landscaping
• Knitting or crocheting
• Photography or videography
• Writing or blogging
• Playing chess or engaging in other mentally stimulating activities.

Why Showcase Your Hobbies in a Personal Statement?

Benefits of showcasing hobbies.

• Demonstrates Passion and Interest : Showcasing your hobbies in a personal statement allows you to demonstrate your passion and interest in a particular field or activity. It shows that you are dedicated to pursuing your interests outside of your academic or professional life .
• Highlights Unique Skills and Experiences : Your hobbies may have given you unique skills and experiences that can be relevant to your academic or professional goals . By showcasing your hobbies, you can highlight these skills and experiences and show how they make you a strong candidate for your desired program or job.
• Adds a Personal Touch : Including your hobbies in your personal statement can add a personal touch to your application. It can help you stand out from other applicants and make a more memorable impression on the reader.
• Demonstrates Time Management and Prioritization Skills : Participating in hobbies requires time management and prioritization skills . By showcasing your hobbies, you can demonstrate that you have the ability to balance your commitments and prioritize your activities.
• Shows Versatility and Adaptability : Hobbies can require you to learn new skills, adapt to new environments, and work with different people. By showcasing your hobbies, you can demonstrate your versatility and adaptability, which are valuable traits in any academic or professional setting.

How hobbies can reflect your personality and interests

Hobbies can provide valuable insight into a person’s interests, values, and passions. By showcasing your hobbies in your personal statement , you can demonstrate to the admissions committee that you are a well-rounded individual with diverse interests and experiences. Here are some ways in which hobbies can reflect your personality and interests:

• Unique interests: Your hobbies can reveal unique aspects of your personality that may not be apparent from other parts of your application. For example, if you enjoy woodworking, this may suggest that you are creative, patient, and detail-oriented.
• Personal values: Hobbies can also reflect your personal values and beliefs. If you are passionate about environmental conservation, this may suggest that you value sustainability and the preservation of natural resources.
• Achievements and accomplishments: Your hobbies can also demonstrate your achievements and accomplishments outside of academics. For example, if you are an accomplished musician, this may suggest that you have a strong work ethic, discipline, and dedication to your craft.
• Teamwork and collaboration: Many hobbies involve teamwork and collaboration, which can demonstrate your ability to work well with others. For example, if you are a member of a sports team or a musical ensemble, this may suggest that you are a team player and can work effectively with others towards a common goal.

Overall, showcasing your hobbies in your personal statement can help you stand out as a unique and well-rounded applicant. By highlighting your interests and experiences, you can demonstrate to the admissions committee that you have a diverse range of interests and experiences that make you a strong candidate for their program.

How to Showcase Your Hobbies in a Personal Statement?

Tips for writing about hobbies.

• Be specific: Rather than simply stating that you enjoy playing sports, explain which sports you play and how often. This shows your dedication and passion for the activity.
• Link hobbies to personal growth: Show how your hobbies have helped you develop important skills or traits. For example, if you are a musician, discuss how playing an instrument has improved your discipline and focus.
• Highlight leadership experience: If you have leadership experience in your hobbies, such as being captain of a sports team or leading a club, be sure to mention it. This demonstrates your ability to work well with others and take charge when necessary.
• Use descriptive language: Instead of just saying you enjoy gardening, describe the types of plants you grow, the techniques you use, and the satisfaction you feel from watching them thrive. This helps the reader visualize your hobby and understand its importance to you.
• Tie hobbies to career aspirations: If possible, show how your hobbies relate to your future career goals. For example, if you are applying to medical school, discuss how volunteering at a hospital and shadowing doctors has given you valuable insight into the field.
• Avoid exaggeration: While it’s important to showcase your hobbies positively, be truthful about your involvement and achievements. Exaggerating or embellishing the truth can harm your credibility.
• Proofread carefully: Make sure your writing is error-free and easy to read. This will help you make a good impression on the admissions committee.

Using specific examples and anecdotes

When showcasing your hobbies in a personal statement, it is important to use specific examples and anecdotes to bring your interests to life. This approach can help you stand out from other applicants and demonstrate your passion for your hobbies. Here are some tips for using specific examples and anecdotes in your personal statement:

• Choose examples that showcase your skills and abilities: When selecting examples of your hobbies, choose those that demonstrate your skills and abilities. For example, if you enjoy painting, talk about a specific painting that you created and the techniques you used to create it. If you enjoy playing music, talk about a specific piece that you learned to play and the challenges you faced in learning it.
• Use descriptive language: To make your examples more engaging, use descriptive language to paint a picture for the reader. For example, instead of simply saying that you enjoy hiking, describe the breathtaking views you have seen on your hikes and the sense of accomplishment you feel after reaching the summit.
• Highlight any awards or recognition you have received: If you have received any awards or recognition for your hobbies, be sure to include them in your personal statement. This can help demonstrate your dedication and commitment to your interests.
• Use anecdotes to show your passion: Anecdotes can be a powerful way to show your passion for your hobbies. For example, talk about a time when you stayed up all night working on a project related to your hobby or the excitement you feel when participating in a competition.

By using specific examples and anecdotes in your personal statement, you can bring your hobbies to life and demonstrate your passion and dedication to them. This approach can help you stand out from other applicants and showcase your unique interests and abilities.

Showing your passion and dedication

When it comes to showcasing your hobbies in a personal statement, it’s important to demonstrate your passion and dedication to the activity. This can be achieved by highlighting the following:

• Consistency: Show that you have been actively engaged in your hobby over a significant period of time. This demonstrates your commitment and passion for the activity.
• Skill development: Explain how you have honed your skills and knowledge in your hobby through continuous learning and practice. This shows your dedication to improving and mastering the activity.
• Impact: Describe the impact that your hobby has had on your personal growth, career goals, or community involvement. This helps to showcase the significance of your hobby in your life.

Here’s an example of how you can showcase your passion and dedication for a particular hobby:

“As an avid runner, I have been consistently training and competing in marathons for the past five years. Through regular practice and discipline, I have developed a strong endurance and skill in running. My passion for running has not only helped me achieve personal fitness goals but also inspired me to volunteer as a running coach for a local youth program. By sharing my knowledge and experience with others, I have been able to give back to the community and inspire others to take up the sport.”

In this example, the author demonstrates their passion and dedication to running by highlighting their consistency, skill development, and impact on their personal growth and community involvement. This helps to showcase their hobby in a meaningful and impactful way in their personal statement.

Making connections between hobbies and career goals

When showcasing your hobbies in a personal statement, it is important to make connections between them and your career goals. This helps to demonstrate your passion for your chosen field and show how your hobbies have prepared you for a career in that area. Here are some tips for making these connections:

• Identify the skills you have developed through your hobbies: Think about the skills you have learned through your hobbies and how they can be applied to your career goals. For example, if you enjoy playing a musical instrument, you may have developed skills in creativity, discipline, and collaboration. These skills could be relevant to a career in music production or teaching.
• Show how your hobbies have influenced your career goals: Consider how your hobbies have influenced your decision to pursue a particular career path. For example, if you enjoy gardening, you may have developed an interest in botany or environmental science, which could lead to a career in conservation or sustainable agriculture.
• Use specific examples to illustrate your connections: When making connections between your hobbies and career goals, use specific examples to illustrate your points. For example, you could describe a project you completed in your hobby that required problem-solving skills, and explain how those skills could be applied to a future career in engineering or computer science.

By making connections between your hobbies and career goals, you can demonstrate your passion for your chosen field and show how your hobbies have prepared you for a career in that area. This can help to make your personal statement more compelling and memorable to admissions committees.

Balancing hobbies with other aspects of your life

When it comes to showcasing your hobbies in a personal statement, it’s important to strike a balance between highlighting your interests and demonstrating your commitment to other aspects of your life. This can include academics, work, family, and community involvement. Here are some tips for balancing your hobbies with other areas of your life:

• Prioritize: Make a list of all the things that are important to you, including your hobbies, academics, work, family, and community involvement. Prioritize them based on what’s most important to you and what you want to highlight in your personal statement.
• Show your passion: Even if you have a lot of other commitments, show that you’re passionate about your hobbies. Describe how you pursue your interests, whether it’s through participating in clubs, competitions, or other activities.
• Be honest: Don’t exaggerate or omit important details. Admissions committees want to get a sense of who you are as a person, so be honest about your commitments and priorities.
• Connect the dots: Show how your hobbies and other commitments intersect. For example, if you’re involved in a community service project related to your hobby, describe how that experience deepened your passion for your hobby.
• Use examples: Use specific examples to illustrate your commitments and priorities. For example, if you’re involved in a research project, describe how you balance that with your coursework and other activities.

By balancing your hobbies with other aspects of your life, you can showcase your interests while also demonstrating your commitment to other areas of your life. Remember to prioritize, be honest, and use specific examples to illustrate your passions and priorities.

1. How should I approach writing about my hobbies in a personal statement?

Approaching the topic of hobbies in a personal statement requires careful consideration. Firstly, it is important to think about the relevance of your hobbies to the course or career you are applying for. If your hobby is directly related to the field you are applying for, then it is important to highlight how your hobby has prepared you for the course or career. Additionally, it is important to think about how your hobby demonstrates your personal qualities and strengths, such as perseverance, creativity, or leadership.

2. How much detail should I include when writing about my hobbies?

When writing about your hobbies, it is important to strike a balance between providing enough detail to showcase your skills and experiences, while also keeping the information concise and relevant. Avoid lengthy descriptions of your hobbies and instead focus on highlighting specific examples or achievements that demonstrate your skills and qualities. Additionally, try to relate your hobbies back to the course or career you are applying for, to show how they have prepared you for the role.

3. Can I include multiple hobbies in my personal statement?

Yes, you can include multiple hobbies in your personal statement . However, it is important to prioritize the hobbies that are most relevant to the course or career you are applying for. Additionally, it is important to ensure that your hobbies are not too diverse or unrelated, as this can make your personal statement appear unfocused. If you have multiple hobbies that are all equally relevant to the course or career you are applying for, consider grouping them together under a common theme or interest.

4. Should I mention any setbacks or challenges I faced while pursuing my hobbies?

Yes, mentioning any setbacks or challenges you faced while pursuing your hobbies can add depth and authenticity to your personal statement. This can demonstrate your perseverance and determination, as well as show how you have overcome obstacles to achieve your goals. However, it is important to frame these challenges in a positive light, highlighting how they have helped you develop important skills or qualities that will be valuable in the course or career you are applying for.

5. Can I include photographs or other visual aids to showcase my hobbies?

Yes, including photographs or other visual aids can be a great way to showcase your hobbies in your personal statement . However, it is important to ensure that the visual aids are relevant and add value to your personal statement. Avoid including visual aids that are unrelated or distract from the main message of your personal statement. Additionally, ensure that the visual aids are of high quality and will not detract from the overall professionalism of your personal statement.

HOW TO WRITE YOUR PERSONAL STATEMENT & ACTIVITIES ESSAYS | Application Jump Start Week 2

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Personal statement examples

There are no ‘right’ ways to writing your personal statement, but there are many ‘wrong’ ways of doing it.

On this page you will not only find everything you need to know about putting together a professional personal statement, but will also have access to dozens of expertly written ones. These samples are a great way to see how other people put together their personal statements, and to visualise the sort of structure and language they use. Reading through these will allow you to judge which ones you think are good or bad, which in turn will greatly help you in putting together your own winning statement. YOU ARE STRONGLY ADVISED NOT TO COPY THESE EXAMPLES WORD FOR WORD, BUT INSTEAD USE THEM AS USE THEM AS GUIDES AND AS A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION.

Many students struggle to put together an effective personal statement, primarily because they find it difficult to write about themselves. They may also fall for other common essay writing mistakes such as straying from the core subject and message they should be trying to get across. To help students overcome these potential pitfalls we have developed this resource page as a guide to giving them useful tips, strategies and techniques on writing a professional profile that is of the highest quality and one that will maximise their chances of enrolling at their first choice university. By following our advice, preparing properly and with a bit of practise, putting together your personal statement should become a lot easier.

WHAT IS A PERSONAL STATEMENT A personal statement is a self marketing statement and a vital part of not only the UCAS application form, but also the overall university admissions process. It is essentially a personally written whole page document of no more than 4000 characters (this includes spaces) or 47 lines of text that gives students a chance to say something about themselves and to make a positive impression on the admissions tutors. Over the years the space that UCAS allocate to the personal statement has grown from just a few lines to a whole page, emphasising how important admissions tutors think it is. Students in turn should give it similar attention.

As they are used in the assessment of your application they can be crucial in helping you to be accepted on to your chosen course. The person reading your application form will want to know in what ways you ‘connect’ with the course, and they will be looking for students who can articulate their aims and have the potential to succeed. For these reasons your statement should be informative, interesting and written to the highest standards possible.

• A personal statement may often be the deciding factor in your application, especially when applying for competitive courses.
• It is an opportunity for you to demonstrate the use of English language and grammar at a standard suitable for entry to higher education.

Students should view them as a opportunity to show the university admissions team their suitability for a degree course by demonstrating their communication skills, interest of the subject matter and previous knowledge of the course modules.

You should also remember that as many universities do not interview applicants, a personal statement may be the first and only information about you that the university will get to see about you. They may very well judge your commitment to the course and suitability for enrolment on how well it is written. Another reason for its importance is that it may be the only way of standing out from other applicants , particularly if the course you are applying for is popular and oversubscribed.

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES

Accounting personal statement examples Accounting and finance personal statement Actuarial science personal statement Aeronautical engineering personal statement Anthropology personal statement Architecture personal statement example Art personal statement example Biology personal statement example Biomedical science personal statement Business management personal statement Business Personal Statement Business studies personal statement example Chemical engineering personal statement Chemistry personal statement Civil engineering personal statement example Computer science personal statement example Criminology personal statement example Dentistry personal statement example Drama personal statement Economics personal statement example Engineering personal statement example English personal statement English literature personal statement example Events management personal statement Fashion personal statement Fine art personal statement example Forensic science personal statement Geography personal statement example Graphic design personal statement History personal statement example Human biology personal statement examples Interior design personal statement example International relations personal statement example Journalism personal statement example Law personal statement example Marketing personal statement example Maths  personal statement example Mathematics personal statement MBA personal statement Mechanical engineering personal statement Media studies personal statement Medical personal statement examples Medicine personal statement Midwifery personal statement example Music personal statement Music technology personal statement example Neuroscience personal statement Nursing personal statement example Occupational therapy personal statement Paramedic science personal statement PhD  personal statement Philosophy personal statement Politics personal statement Pharmacy personal statement example Physics personal statement example Psychology personal statement example Physiotherapy personal statement example Social work personal statement Sociology personal statement examples Sports science personal statement example Theology personal statement example Travel and tourism personal statement Veterinary personal statement Zoology personal statement example

STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO WRITING YOUR UCAS PERSONAL STATEMENT

You should start off by listing reasons why you would be a good candidate for the course, then focus on demonstrating how these reasons along with your previous study and experiences have given you a keen interest in the subject for which you are applying. Concentrate on illustrating any relevant skills, qualities, or other positive sides of your character, and be prepared to rewrite your drafts repeatedly until you get your statement absolutely right. Also remember once you have gathered together all of the information your are going to use then you’ll need to organise it in such a way that it builds a strong argument for why you should be offered a place on the course. Listed below are a series of stages you can follow which will help you to do exactly this and put together a winning professional personal statement.

Remember that a personal statement will not only be judged by the facts in it but also by the language and style you use in it and also by the way its laid out.

Stage 1 Start of by thinking about your personal traits and the things you have done that can illustrate your good qualities. List everything from your education and academic studies which you feel might be relevant to the course and university.

List all of your reasons for choosing the course.

List everything from your personal and work history which you think is relevant to the course you are applying for. This could be anything from any work duties or responsibilities, voluntary work, hobbies or awards etc.

Stage 2 Now you need to go through all of the lists you have created and choose those points from then that you feel are the strongest.

Stage 3 Make a outline of what you want to say by designing the layout of your personal statement. At the start describe your reasons for choosing to the course, then move onto your strengths and any supporting evidence. Finish off by concluding why you feel you should be accepted onto the course.

Stage 4 Start writing your first draft, then once you have completed it leave it for a few hours or a day, come back to it read it and rewrite it again. Very few people get their personal statement right the first time, keep rewriting it until you are satisfied with the results.

Stage 5 Once you are happy with your final draft then give it to a friend or colleague for proof reading. Also check it for spelling mistakes and diversity of vocabulary to create the right impression.

• Criticise other universities.
• Use slang or abbreviations.
• Repeat information you have included on the rest of the UCAS application form (exam results etc).
• Tell lies or exaggerate.
• Mention your age, culture and ethnic background, or your religious and political inclinations.
• Use repetitive language, for instance repeatedly using phases such as ‘I like…’ or ‘I have…’ etc.
• Simply write a list of things you do or have achieved.
• Have a string of sentences that start with phases such as ‘I do…’, etc.
• Use clichés.
• Try to be funny or tell jokes.
• Give political viewpoints.
• Sound arrogant or pretentious.
• Write about trivial matters.
• Make any mistakes in grammar and spelling.
• Write it in the form of a letter, starting with ‘Dear Sir / Madam’ and ending with ‘Thank you for reading my statement, your sincerely’.

Tips when writing your personal statement

• Plan your statement carefully.
• Make a list of points you feel will be of interest to the Admissions Tutor.
• When creating the structure always ask yourself if each stage is relevant.
• When planning your statement make a list of the key topics and points that you want to mention.
• State as clearly as possible your strongest points.
• Make sure that every paragraph relates directly to your application.

The first paragraph The first paragraph is probably the most important part of your statement. It should be an attention grabbing piece that gets the reader interest in what you are about to say. One of the best ways to grab a audience’s attention is to have a quotation or set of statistics in your first sentence, the main advantage of having a good ‘hook’ is that your reader is more likely to be susceptible to what you write later on.

Examples of ‘hook’s or attention grabbing first sentences;

• ’Eighty five percent of geography graduates are in employment within six months of completing their degree course’.

Keep it relevant Constantly ask yourself how relevant your words, sentences and paragraphs are to the course and university you are applying to. One way to do this is to read a universities ‘Entry Profile’ for the course you want to join. A ‘Entry Profile’ (normally listed on a universities website or prospectus) will explain what the university is looking for in a student, what qualifications that should have and also the type of experience they need. Read it thoroughly and make a list of all the key requirements in there and then keep referring to it whilst writing out your personal profile. This is an effective way to ensure that your personal statement remains relevant, on track and does not wander off course.

Your conclusion Try to finish off your statement with something that the reader can take away with them. The conclusion should not be a repeat or summary of what you have written elsewhere in your personal statement, instead it should be different, interesting and memorable so that the reader remembers what you wrote.

Listed below are examples that will help you to visualise a strong conclusion and finish your statement off in a way that concludes everything.

Examples of how to start and write a conclusion;

‘After completion of my degree I hope to gain relevant work experience in order to make my dream of becoming an engineer a reality.’

‘Overall, I consider myself to be a hardworking, determined student who is motivated by challenges and can gain personal benefit from new experiences. I strongly feel that a university degree in (……….) will be a great foundation from which to launch a successful career in the future, in whatever field that may be.

‘I sincerely hope that this statement has helped you see me as someone who gives everything my best effort, and who always pushes harder.’

‘ My past has inspired me to try to be the best that I can, and to not settle for anything less’.

‘My main priority now is to…(explain your ambitions)’.

‘Enrolling on a degree course is just the beginning for me, I aspire to achieve much more in the next few years starting with…(list your goals)’.

‘In conclusion I would like to say that I am really looking forward to the personal and academic challenges that studying at your university will bring’.

The structure Have this laid out before you start to put pen to paper. Remember that once you know what you’re going to say, and in what order you’re going to say it, it’s much easier to stay on track when you actually start writing.

Planning a structure is also a very good way of ensuring that you stay within the word limits imposed by UCAS.

Give yourself plenty of time Creating a effective personal statement can be time consuming, so it’s important that you do not leave it till the last minute. Remember it’ never too early to start thinking about it.

Key points to note when writing your personal statement

• Admissions tutors look for people who are enthusiastic and passionate about the subject they want to study, so try to convey these in your writing.
• It is a opportunity for you to sell yourself to the admission tutors.
• View it as a chance to emphasise your strongest points that you feel will help your application.
• If the course is in an area that you have not studied before then you need to show you already know a fair amount about the subject matter.
• Make every sentence count as you only have limited space and need to convey as much information as you can.
• The statement can form the basis of an interview discussion, so make sure you only include information on there that you can back up.
• Do not use bullet points or lists, continuous prose is much better.
• Focus on the persuasiveness of your language by using keywords and phrases that will optimise the strength of your message.
• Accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar are of paramount importance.
• Keep re-reading and re-writing your personal statement! However many drafts it takes, make it perfect.
• Include interesting and engaging information that will encourage them to read the rest of your application.

WHEN WRITING YOUR PERSONAL STATEMENT FOCUS ON EXPLAINING

• Why you want to study the subject at degree level.
• Your reasons for choosing their university.
• What attracts you to the subject.
• Why you are suitable for the course.
• What you enjoy most about the subject matter.
• What you feel are your strongest skills.
• Any relevant work or academic experience that you have.
• Any academic achievements.
• What your long term future career aspirations are, and how studying this course can help you to achieve them.
• The strategic value you can add to the course and university.
• Why you’d make a successful student.
• Your potential to succeed.

Why you want to study the subject at degree level This is an important point to explain to the selectors, particularly if you have never studied the subject before. You need to give logical reasons, and the best way to do this is to start of by clearly explaining what you are looking for from the degree and why. After this move onto finding common ground between the core modules and your academic and career ambitions.

If possible you should try to include ‘evidence’ (in the form of examples or experiences) to back up any claims you make and to prove that you have prior knowledge of the topic.

Examples of possible answers

‘There are particular areas of the subject, such as (……….) and (……….) which have really grabbed my attention and have made me want to study field in more depth’.

‘I feel that I am a good match for the course requirements. With my skills, temperament, previous qualifications, interests and goals all matching the requirements’.

‘Because it is a challenging and diverse course that I feel I can pass’.

‘My previous experience makes me well suited for the course’.

‘Your degree program will allow me to enrol for a PhD later on’.

‘I need this degree to pursue a chosen career in (…….).’

‘I really enjoyed studying this subject at college / A level’.

‘This course will allow me to expand my existing knowledge of the subject matter’.

‘In my previous academic studies I found that I was most interested in the (……..) field, and so I decided to shift my studies to this particular field and subject’.

‘To me the subject is very interesting and challenging’.

‘In the future I would like to be employed in this field, and this subject is a ideal starting point for me’.

‘It will give me the opportunity to specialise in a particular field’.

‘It will greatly enhance my career prospects’.

‘This qualification will provide me with a good basis for future career moves’.

Your reasons for choosing their university Research the university, its history, and achievements and then mention these in your answer. Possible reasons can be;

• Location (busy city, small town, by the coast)
• Type of university (small, large, well established, new)
• Quality and reputation (teaching standards)
• The facilities (library, resources, sports facilities)
• The cost (affordable, cost of living)
• The unique atmosphere
• Course structure
• Course content
• Teaching methods
• Year abroad opportunities
• Practical training
• Transport links
• Availability of accommodation
• Students Union
• General atmosphere and feel of the campus.
• The support of the staff.

‘I want an all-rounded education where I feel like I’ve been challenged, and where I will experience things that no other university can offer me’.

‘The location was important for me, I want to be in a big city, but also in a university institution that has a campus feel to it’.

‘I like your campus because it does not allow strangers, tourists or random pedestrians to come in and wander around and spoil that university feel’.

‘During a visit to your university I noticed that most students who were not in class were anxious to remain on the campus rather than leave and go to the city centre. This was totally unlike other universities I have visited were everyone was anxious to get off the campus.’

‘The students I met during a visit to your institution all seemed to be engaged in their education.’

‘On a recent visit to your campus I really appreciated the attention and personal interactions that i witnessed between tutors and students’.

‘I want to study at a leading academic institution’.

‘Your university has a reputation for attracting the very best student in this field, and these are people who I want to study with’.

‘Your university is renowned for its high academic standards’.

‘I realised that your university offers something different, that other institutions don’t have’.

‘Everyone there seemed to be really engaged in learning’.

‘I see someone like myself fitting in very easily into the culture and spirit of your university’.

‘When I began research for a university to enrol at ….’.

‘I believe that your university will be able to help me achieve all of my ambitions and much more’.

‘Your universities spirit stands out and dares to be different’.

‘I have made it a point of duty to distinguish myself in my studies and to only enrol at the very best academic institutions’.

Why you are suitable for the course In answering this point you need to not only demonstrate your prior knowledge of the core modules, but also explain in detail any specific skills and abilities that you have which will help you to succeed. Emphasise specific characteristics and abilities that make you special and will help you to stand out. You should make your career motivation clear and demonstrate commitment to education.

Tip when answering this question It is worth getting into the habit of reading related trade magazines and newspaper reports as this will make you aware of current events and issues. You can then mention these points in your answers, which in turn will go a long way in showing that you have a interest in the field as a whole.

• Clearly showing how you envision your success at their university.
• Giving details of any hobbies or activities that you do which are linked to the course.
• Any previous academic studies you have undertaken in the subject or related fields.
• Any relevant work experience, placements or voluntary work that you have done. Or any specific duties which you performed and which are related to the course.
• Details of practical, theory or particular subjects you are good at.
• Personal experiences that will make you suitable for university life.
• Highlighting positions of responsibility you have held in the past.

Examples of what to write

‘I firmly believe that i can be an asset to your university because of my drive, resilience and strong career motivation’.

‘I feel I have the critical analysis, experience  and communication skills that will help me to be a outstanding undergraduate at your university’.

‘I have set out my long term career and academic goals in detail and priority, and am therefore fully prepared mentally for this course’.

‘I feel can make a positive impact on the course’.

‘I have a keen interest to learn more about this subject’.

STRENGTHS AND SKILLS TO MENTION IN A PERSONAL STATEMENT Listed below are areas to consider mentioning, along with examples of how to word them;

Decision making ‘Good decision making skills are at the core of solid learning, and I possess these skills in abundance’.

Time management ‘I possess superb time management skills, which are essential to balancing the conflicting demands of university life’.

Information management ‘One of my strongest points is the ability to collect and manage large quantities of information’.

Meeting tight deadlines ‘I care about deadlines, am very serious about meeting them and always make them a priority’.

Independent research ‘At my college I gained a reputation for conducting quality in depth independent research into subjects’.

Intellectual ability ‘I consider myself to be intellectually adventurous’.

Teamwork ‘I can work as part of a team, as well as on my own initiative’.

Coping with pressure ‘Through my experiences i have developed an ability to cope with pressure when working to tight schedules’.

Organised  ‘I am a highly organised individual’.

WRITING ABOUT YOUR HOBBIES AND INTERESTS Advice regarding the inclusion of hobbies and interests in a personal statement is often contradictory. However having an interesting list of hobbies and pursuits is an ideal way to show yourself off as a interesting person, which in turn can be a great way to make up for a lack of academic experience and even gaps in your knowledge. It’s also not enough to simply feature a bullet-list of hobbies and interests, you must present them in a way that says something deeper about your character.

• Interesting hobbies can make you stand out and seem unique, which is exactly what you want.
• Hobbies and interests can be a reflection of your personality.
• Universities like student who can bring something different and exciting to their campus.

The golden rule is to always focus on and include those hobbies that are directly linked to the course you want to study, as they can support your overall application. However remember that when writing a personal statement you are limited with the number of words you can use to sell your skills and competencies, therefore if your hobbies are not relevant to the course then do not waste valuable space explaining them.

Although university staff will scan personal statements looking for offbeat hobbies or activities as evidence of a applicants creativity and personality, they are not really interested in trivial pastimes unrelated to the subject. For example if you are applying for an Computer Science degree course, and your main hobby is collecting stamps, then this is plainly not related to the course in any way. However if your favourite pastime is building your own computers and servers, then it’s well worth mentioning.

It is also worth noting that some universities will value your extra-curricular activities higher than others. Those that do want to see what sort of life you lead away from your studies. They believe that a person with a wide range of interests will be able to get along with people from different backgrounds and consequently find it easier to fit into different environments.

Ask yourself

• Have you ever won any awards.
• Have you ever been elected to any position.
• Have you ever done something that has surprised people.
• Are you involved in anything where you have to work as part of a team.
• Do you speak any foreign languages.
• Do you play any musical instruments.

The benefits of having unusual hobbies Certain hobbies such as scuba diving, skiing and horse riding may not seem very unusual to the candidate that actually practices them, but they can be a very good ice breakers and talking points during the interview stage. A well-executed hobbies and interests list can even compensate for a lack in experience or education.

Do not exaggerate Don’t go over the top when describing your hobbies, exaggerating the truth can come back to haunt you in the long run, especially at the interview stage where you may be asked detailed questions about your claims.

Writing about your hobbies can help universities to;

• Understand your values and what motivates you.
• Assess your social skills.
• See that you can work as part of a team.
• Identify your leadership and interpersonal skills.
• Say that your hobbies and interests are a big part of you life, you don’t want the university to think your leisure activities will take priority over your studying.
• List hobbies that are indicative of thrill-seeking and risk-taking behaviour.
• Mention that you do extreme sports i.e. like sky diving, universities want to know that students are going to turn up to classes and not be in some hospital as a result of a accident. Remember they are looking for stability and reliability.
• Ramble on about your pets (they are not classified as a hobby).

Examples of how to write about your hobbies ; ‘As captain of the local football team I helped to organise the team, entered them into competitions and eventually lead them to win a regional trophy. ‘

‘Having photography as a hobby gives me the opportunity to research and organize information in a way that showcases my abilities to maximum effect.’

‘I enjoy the chess club because it stimulates my creative problem solving skills and opens my mind to new ways of thinking outside the box.’

PLAGIARISM AND COPYING It is vital that you make sure your personal statement is your own work and not something you have copied from another source. You should note that many universities have specialist software that can easily detect copied work. Anyone who is caught doing this will have their application immediately rejected.

There are certain ‘rules’ which must be adhered to when writing your own personal statement. One of the main ones being that you should not copy the work of others. For students being familiar with these rules is important as unintentional mistakes can lead to possible charges of plagiarism, and the rejection of their application.

Students should avoid plagiarism not only because there are rules against it and there is a real risk of getting found out, but also because it is the right thing to do.

What is plagiarism Plagiarism can be classified as the close imitation of language, thoughts, writing or expressions. In terms of writing a personal statement this can come to mean copying another authors work and then presenting it as your own (without crediting the original source or having the original writers permission).

Examples of plagiarism include copying the personal statements of fellow students, buying examples from the internet, or creating a whole article by cutting and pasting blocks of texts from the Internet. Having said that it is not a clear cut area, with the boundaries between plagiarism and genuine research and writing often blurred. A good example of this ambiguity is the fact that in some countries plagiarism is considered to be a violation of copyright laws, and can lead to prosecution in a court of law, whilst in other countries it is not taken so seriously. In the UK universities take this issue very seriously, and anyone caught plagiarising will almost certainly have any university enrolment application rejected.

Why some people plagiarise In a educational and academic setting, students are constantly engaged (through discussion and study) with other people’s ideas, thoughts and writings. Whilst most students do not intentionally intend to plagiarise, for a very small minority it can be tempting to use another person’s words and pass them off as their own. What people should remember is that many universities are well versed in using plagiarism detection software which is very effective at catching out ‘offenders’.

• It’s easy to do, there is a huge amount of free information on the Internet that can be quickly copied.
• Many people believe that they will not get caught.
• Some people may not be able or willing to do the writing themselves.

Points to remember about plagiarism

• Plagiarism committed by ‘accident’ or unintentionally can still be considered an offence by university admission teams.
• It does not matter if the original author has consented to their work being copied, a student must still reference or acknowledge it, otherwise it will be considered as plagiarism.

Plagiarism (copying the work of others) is considered to be;

• Academic fraud
• A breach of ethics
• Poor scholarship
• Possible copyright infringement

If you are caught plagiarising it can lead to

• Your university enrolment application being immediately rejected.
• Loss of integrity.
• Loss of credibility.

Universities regularly check for plagiarism Institutions work hard to raise awareness of plagiarism, take active steps to reduce it, all with the ultimate objective of improving academic integrity.

How to avoid plagiarism It is often said that the best way to avoid plagiarising is to not read anything written by other people in your subject area. However as this is not really practical, we have listed some tips below on how to avoid accidental plagiarising;

• If you intend to use other people work in your statement then you should use an academic style of writing that incorporates referencing. This means making it clear when you have used (or been influenced by) the ideas, concepts and words of others. Use citations and footnotes to name authors, publications or any work you have quoted.
• It is good practise to read through any required reading material and to then put it all away when you are ready to start writing your own material. Only go back to the original source when you want to check you have the facts rights.
• Always try to use your own words, ideas and phrases to produce something that is new and original.
• Focus on improving the existing opinions of works that you have read.
• Check your paraphrases or summaries against any original text you are using.
• It is good practise to methodically and accurately note the source of anything you consult and gain ideas from. This is a great way to help you avoid accidentally copying someone else’s material.
• Consider using a colour coded system to highlight and differentiate your notes and the original work of authors.
• Evaluate your sources carefully before relying and using them.

Referencing The aim of referencing is to give the reader a opportunity to clearly see exactly where the author is being influenced or has copied text. Proper referencing should also give the reader enough accurate information for them to be able to find the original source themselves.

Reasons to be original

• University admission staff (as well as tutors) always prize originality in a students writing.
• Becoming a good researcher and writer takes time, it will not happen overnight. However it will never happen if you get into a habit of copying the work of others.

ENTRY PROFILES These are available for all potential students to view and are intended to describe the course in detail and give key information about the formal entry requirements, admissions policy and selection procedures. Profiles can also show students what to expect on a course, information which in turn can help them to make a informed decision as to whether the course is for them and if they are suited for it. A published Entry Profile will list up to date details and guidance about a courses; content, course structure, optional modules, admission tests, interview procedure, academic entry qualifications, fees, bursaries and financial support. It is a useful resource that can help you to avoid making costly mistakes when choosing a degree course and is well worth reading before you make a final decision on where to study.

COMMON REASONS FOR UNSUCCESSFUL PERSONAL STATEMENTS 

• It does not show a strong desire to study your chosen course.
• Your application does not demonstrate a strong understanding or knowledge of the subject matter.
• It was incoherent, badly structured and had spelling mistakes.

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CV personal statement examples

If you want to secure job interview, you need a strong personal statement at the top of your CV.

Your CV personal statement is a short paragraph which sits at the very top of your CV – and it’s aim is to summarise the benefits of hiring you and encourage employers to read your CV in full.

In this guide I have included 17 CV personal statement examples from a range of professions and experience levels, plus a detailed guide of how to write your own personal statement that will get you noticed by employers

CV templates 

17 CV personal statement examples

To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look , and what should be included.

Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates – if you are experienced, check out our CV profile examples instead.

Graduate CV personal statement (no experience)

Although this  graduate has no paid work experience, they compensate for it by showcasing all of the skills and knowledge the have gained during their studies, and demonstrating how they apply their knowledge in academic and personal projects.

When you have little or no experience, it’s important to draw out transferable workplace skills from your studies and extracurricular work, to showcase them to employers.

Graduate CV personal statement (part time freelance experience)

This candidate has graduated with a degree in biochemistry but actually wants to start a career in digital marketing after providing some digital freelance services to fund their studies.

In this case, they haven’t made much mention of their studies because they aren’t relevant to the digital marketing agencies they are applying to. Instead they have focused their personal statement around their freelance work and passion for the digital field – although they still mention the fact they are degree educated to prove their academic success.

School leaver CV personal statement (no experience)

This candidate is 16 years old and has no work experience whatsoever, but they compensate for this by detailing their academic achievements that relate to the roles they are applying for (maths and literacy are important requirements in finance and accountancy roles).

They also add some info on their extracurricular activities and school work-placements, to strengthen this student CV further.

    Top tips for writing a CV personal statement

• Thoroughly research the jobs and companies you are planning to apply for to identify the type of candidate they are looking for – try to reflect that in your personal statement
• Don’t be afraid to brag a little – include some of your most impressive achievements from education, work or personal life
• Focus on describing the benefits an employer will get from hiring you. Will you help them to get more customers? Improve their workplace? Save them time and money?
• If you have no work experience, demonstrate transferable workplace skills from your education, projects, or even hobbies

School leaver CV personal statement (part time experience)

Although this person has only just left school, they have also undertaken some part-time work in a call centre alongside their studies.

To make the most of this experience, they have combined their academic achievements with their workplace exposure in this personal statement.

By highlighting their GCSE results, summer programme involvement, work experience and expressing their ambitions to progress within sales, this candidate really makes an appealing case for hiring them.

College leaver CV personal statement (no experience)

This candidate has left college with good grades, but does not yet have any work experience.

To compensate for the lack of workplace exposure, they have made their A level results prominent and highlighted skills and experience which would benefit the employers they are targeting.

Any recruiter reading this profile can quickly understand that this candidate has great academic achievements, a passion for IT and finance and the ability to transfer their skills into an office environment.

College student CV personal statement (freelance experience)

As this student has picked up a small amount of freelance writing work during their studies, they have made sure to brag about it in their personal statement.

They give details on their relevant A level studies to show the skills they are learning, and boost this further by highlighting the fact that they have been applying these skills in a real-life work setting by providing freelance services.

They also include key action verbs that recruiters will be looking for , such as creative writing, working to deadlines, and producing copy.

Academic CV personal statement

Aside from junior candidates, the only other people who might use a personal statement, are academic professionals; as their CV’s tend to be more longer and detailed than other professions.

This candidate provides a high level overview of their field of study, length of experience, and the roles they have held within universities.

School leaver CV personal statement with and sports experience

Although this person has no work experience, they are still able to show employers the value of hiring them by selling their other achievements and explaining how they could benefit an organisation.

They expand on their sports club involvement to demonstrate their teamwork, leadership skills, communication and motivation, which are all important traits in the workplace, and will be looked upon favourably by recruiters and hiring managers.

They also draw upon their future plans to study business studies and take a part time job, to further prove their ambition and dedication.

History graduate CV personal statement

This history graduate proves their aptitude for both academic achievement and workplace aptitude by showcasing valuable skills from their degree and voluntary work.

They do this by breaking down the key requirements for each and showing how their skills could be beneficial for future employers, such as listening, communication, and crisis management.

They also describe how their ability to balance studies alongside voluntary work has not only boosted their knowledge and skills, but also given excellent time management and organisational skills – which are vital assets to any employer.

Law graduate CV personal statement

This legal graduate makes the most from their work university work placements by using it to bulk out the contents of their CV personal statement.

They include their degree to show they have the necessary qualifications for legal roles, which is crucial, but more importantly, they showcase how they applied their legal skills within a real-life work setting.

They give a brief overview of the types of legal professionals they have been working alongside and the type of work they have been carrying out – this is all it takes to get the attention of recruiters and show employers they have what it takes to fulfil roles in the legal sector.

Medical student CV personal statement

This medical student proves their fit for the role by showcasing the key skills they have gained from their studies and their work experience placements.

In just these few sentences, they are able to highlight the vast amount of experience they have across different disciplines in the industry, something which is particularly important in the medical sector.

As they have not graduated yet and are still studying, they have provided proof of their most recent grades. This can give the recruiter some indication as to the type of grade they could be graduating with in the near future.

Masters student CV personal statement

This masters student has started by specifying their area of study, in this case, accounting, and given details about the specific areas of finance they are most interested in. This can hint towards their career goals and passions.

They have then carefully listed some of the key areas of accounting and finance that they are proficient in. For example, business finance, advanced corporate finance and statistics.

They have also outlined some of the transferable skills needed for accounting roles that employers will be looking out for, such as communication, attention to detail and analytical skills.

Finance student CV personal statement

As this finance student has recently undertaken some relevant work experience, they’ve made sure to shout about this in their personal profile.

But more than this, they have included a list of some of the important finance skills they gained as a result of this work experience – for example, financial reporting, processing invoices and month-end reconciliations.

Plus, through power words and phrases such as ‘prevent loss’ and ‘ improve upon accuracy and efficiency’, they have also showcased how they can apply these skills in a workplace setting to benefit the potential employer.

Internship  CV personal statement

This digital marketing professional has started their personal profile by outlining their most relevant qualifications and work experience, most notably their freelance role as a content manager.

They have also provided examples of some of the key marketing skills that potential employers might be looking for, including very detailed examples of the platforms and tools they are proficient in – for example, LinkedIn, Twitter and Pinterest.

They have then closed their statement by giving a detailed description of the type of role or opportunity they are looking for. In this case, an in-house position in a marketing company.

Graduate career changer personal statement

Switching careers as a graduate can be tough. Especially when it comes to writing a personal statement that will attract employers in your new chosen field.

This candidate is looking to move from history teaching into journalism, so they have created a statement which briefly mentions their current workplace, but mainly focuses on highlighting transferable skills which are relevant to journalism. They achieve this by discussing the writing skills they use in their current role, and mentioning their hobby of writing – including some publications they have been featured in for extra brownie points.

Business management graduate personal statement

This business management proves their ability to work within a junior business management position by swiftly highlighting their impressive degree (to ensure it is not missed) and summarising some of the real-life experience they have gained in management during their university placements and volunteering. They do not let their lack of paid work experience, stop them demonstrating their valuable skills.

PhD graduate

PhD graduate roles attract a lot of competition, so it’s important that your CV contains a personal statement that will quickly impress and attract recruiters.

This candidate provides a short-but-comprehensive overview of their academic achievements, whilst demonstrating their exceptional level of knowledge in research, languages and publication writing.

By highlighting a number of skills and abilities that are in high-demand in the academic workplace, this CV is very likely to get noticed and land interviews.

How to write a personal statement for your CV

Now that you’ve seen what a personal statement should look like and the type of content it should contain, follow this detailed guide to one for your own CV – and start racking those interviews up.

Guide contents

What is a CV personal statement?

Cv personal statement or cv profile, personal statement format, what to include in a cv personal statement.

• Personal statement mistakes

How to write persuasively

A personal statement is a short paragraph at the top of your CV which gives employers an overview of your education, skills and experience

It’s purpose is to capture the attention of busy recruiters and hiring managers when your CV is first opened – encouraging them to read the rest of it.

You achieve this by writing a tailored summary of yourself that explains your suitability for the roles you are applying for at a very high level, and matches your target job descriptions .

One question candidates often ask me is , “what is the difference between a personal statement and a CV profile?”

To be honest, they are almost the same – they are both introductory paragraphs that sit at the top of your CV… but there are 2 main differences

A personal statement tends to be used more by junior candidates (graduates, school leavers etc.) and is relatively long and detailed.

A CV profile tends to be favoured by more experienced candidates , and is shorter in length than a personal statement.

Note: If you are an experienced candidate, you may want to switch over to my CV profile writing guide , or example CV profiles page.

To ensure you grab recruiters’ attention with your personal statement, lay it out in the following way.

Positioning

You need to ensure that your personal statement sits at the very top of your CV, and all of it should be totally visible to readers, without the need to scroll down the page.

Do this by reducing the top page margin and minimising the space taken up by your contact details.

This will ensure that your whole personal statement can be seen, as soon as your CV is opened.

We have a Word CV template which can help you to get this right.

Size/length

Your personal statement needs to contain enough detail to provide an introduction to your skills and knowledge, but not so much detail that it bores readers.

To strike the right balance, anything between 8-15 lines of text is perfect – and sentences should be sharp and to-the-point.

As with the whole of your CV or resume , your personal statement should be written in a simple clean font at around size 10-12 to ensure that it can be read easily by all recruiters and employers.

Keep the text colour simple , ensuring that it contrasts the background (black on white is best) and break it into 2 or even 3 paragraphs for a pleasant reading experience.

It should also be written in a punchy persuasive tone, to help you sell yourself and increase your chances of landing interviews , I cover how to do this in detail further down the guide.

Quick tip: A poorly written CV will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to create a winning CV in minutes with professional CV templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Once you have the style and format of your personal statement perfected, you need to fill it with compelling content that tells recruiters that your CV is worth reading.

Here’s what needs to go into your personal statement…

Before you start writing your personal statement, it’s crucial that you research your target roles to find out exactly what your new potential employers are looking for in a candidate.

Run a search for your target jobs on one of the major job websites , look through plenty of adverts and make a list of the candidate requirements that frequently appear.

This research will show you exactly what to include in your personal statement in order to impress the recruiters who will be reading it.

Education and qualifications are an important aspect of your personal statement, especially if you are a junior candidate.

You should highlight your highest and most relevant qualifications, whether that is a degree, A levels or GCSEs. You could potentially go into some more detail around modules, papers etc. if they are relevant to the roles you are applying for.

It’s important that you discuss the experience you have gained in your personal statement, to give readers an idea of the work you are comfortable undertaking.

This can of course be direct employed work experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

You can also include:

• School/college Uni work placements
• Voluntary work
• Personal projects
• Hobbies/interests

As with all aspects of your CV , the content should be tailored to match the requirements of your target roles.

Whilst discussing your experience, you should touch upon skills used, industries worked in, types of companies worked for, and people you have worked with.

Where possible, try to show the impact your actions have made. E.g . A customer service agent helps to make sales for their employer.

Any industry-specific knowledge you have that will be useful to your new potential employers should be made prominent within your personal statement.

For example

• Knowledge of financial regulations will be important for accountancy roles
• Knowledge of IT operating systems will be important for IT roles
• Knowledge of the national curriculum will be important for teachers

You should also include some information about the types of roles you are applying for, and why you are doing so. Try to show your interest and passion for the field you are hoping to enter, because employers want to hire people who have genuine motivation and drive in their work.

This is especially true if you don’t have much work experience, as you need something else to compensate for it.

CV personal statement mistakes

The things that you omit from your personal statement can be just as important as the things you include.

Try to keep the following out of your personal statement..

Irrelevant info

Any information that doesn’t fall into the requirements of your target roles can be cut out of your personal statement. For example, if you were a professional athlete 6 years ago, that’s great – but it won’t be relevant if you’re applying to advertising internships, so leave it out.

Generic clichés

If you are describing yourself as a “ dynamic team player with high levels of motivation and enthusiasm” you aren’t doing yourself any favours.

These cliché terms are vastly overused and don’t provide readers with any factual details about you – so keep them to a minimum.

Stick to solid facts like education, skills , experience, achievements and knowledge.

If you really want to ensure that your personal statement makes a big impact, you need to write in a persuasive manner.

So, how do you so this?

Well, you need to brag a little – but not too much

It’s about selling yourself and appearing confident, without overstepping the mark and appearing arrogant.

For example, instead of writing.

“Marketing graduate with an interest in entering the digital field”

Be creative and excite the reader by livening the sentence up like this,

“Marketing graduate with highest exam results in class and a passion for embarking on a long and successful career within digital”

The second sentence is a much more interesting, makes the candidate appear more confident, throws in some achievements, and shows off a wider range of writing skills.

Quick tip: A poorly written CV will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy CV Builder to create a winning CV in minutes with professional templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Your own personal statement will be totally unique to yourself, but by using the above guidelines you will be able to create one which shows recruiters everything they need.

Remember to keep the length between 10-20 lines and only include the most relevant information for your target roles.

You can also check our school leaver CV example , our best CV templates , or our library of example CVs from all industries.

Good luck with the job hunt!

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How to write a personal statement

If you want to give current article to your teenage child you might be right. But adults can be interested in it too. Personal statement is a piece of individual writing a person usually encloses to his or her university application. It's never too late to study, universities accept not only young and enthusiastic people but representatives of all ages. Anyway, we think it's vital to know how to write a personal statement. Who knows maybe next year you'll express desire to go back to school! Internet as usual can offer you a huge amount of personal statement examples for any case. We prefer to stick to theory that it should be unique and reflect best traits of your character and has a full story of your achievements. Personal statement format is not strict but of course there is a plan to follow. First is introduction. It should be catchy and captivate reader's attention from first sentence. In several blocks tell briefly but vividly about your education, experience and skills. Don't ask anyone for help, use your own words and phrases, let the committee know what a person you are. Search for tips on how to write a personal statement but do writing part yourself, without appropriating anyone's thoughts. In personal financial statement explain need of scholarship or financial aid. In personal mission statement define your primary goals you plan to achieve in life with help of high school.

Personal statement examples for different aims

Not to get lost under flood of information about personal statements, everyone should know that for each type of high school there should be a unique piece of paper.

Personal statement for graduate school won't contain any information about your desperate need of financial assistance in studying. This is what a personal financial statement for.

Planning to become a famous doctor and getting a medical certificate? Write a medical school personal statement, describe your preference. There is surely a noble reason for choosing career of doctor. After finishing studies and applying for a place in hospital as an intern there is a necessity to write residency personal statement. And again you say what made you think this very hospital would provide the best experience for you.

Dreaming of a career in jurisprudence? Be sure to make best law school personal statement ever. The competition between applicants is quite hard, as there are plenty of them. With moderate or low grades knowledge of how to write a personal statement is not just important, it's vital. When looking through samples ignore those that don't belong to necessary sphere. Medical school personal statement examples are not proper when applying for law school.

Importance of a good statement

Use of correct personal statement format is significant. Grades matter too but a brilliant piece of writing may win you a place in high school. Devote as much time as possible to compose it. Even when making a personal statement for college do your best. Examine your work several times, make notes, change part you don't like, give it to you teacher or senior to evaluate. Personal mission statement examples will help to make a right decision and sometimes completely change your mind.

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