how to write a groom's wedding speech

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In This Article

• Speech Examples
• Speech Template
• Speech Tips
• What to Avoid
• Toast Ideas
• Wedding Party & Reception

Groom at Wedding Speech Templates And Ideas

phuket_wedding_planner via Instagram

Everyone wants to hear the groom say something at the wedding because he’s the man of the hour. For this reason, you must make the opportunity count. While it’s easy to celebrate the good fortune of finding your beloved, giving a speech is a different matter.

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Ironically, brides are always prepared, but grooms often leave the speech at the last minute, probably from panic. So whether you’re shy, confused about what to do, or don’t have the time to whip up something, we’ve got you covered. See our Post for the best groom wedding speeches tips and ideas ever.

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Groom Speech Examples

As against the best man speech which focuses more on the groom, the speech of the groom is for everyone, his bride inclusive. As a result, a groom’s speech is either light-hearted, funny, or witty. It has no blueprint or strict rules but two elements are ever-present regardless of what kind of speech it is – emotion and sincerity!

It is a special day and a lot of people made the day possible. In his speech, he will thank everyone and even those absent. He will salute his new father-in-law, the bridesmaids, the maid of honor, and even the bride’s mother.

He will thank his groomsmen and especially his best man for holding him up all the way. The highlight of this speech is when he would make a wedding toast to his beloved, with so much love in his eyes thanking her for coming into his life. He’d tell his love story and show his optimism and willingness to be her husband.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention. Apparently, it’s my job to do all the thank you’s, so on behalf of my lovely new wife and I, the biggest thank-you goes to all of you for coming. The day would not have been the same without you and neither would my bank balance! But on a serious note, it is lovely to see so many of you here. Particularly those of you who have had to travel many miles. Amy and I would like to thank our parents for all the love and support both emotional and financial they have given us. And a special thank-you to Vanessa who is responsible for making our fantastic wedding cake. Sharon, Sue, Vanessa, Ray, Steve We’d also like to thank Darren for his services as the best man today and of course our ushers. You’ve all done a grand job. Darren, Mark, Jon, Jim, Adam That brings me onto our bridesmaids. Thank you all for your help and for being there for Amy through the ups and downs of wedding planning! I’m sure everyone will agree that you all look stunning today. Nina, Laura, Charlotte, Kirsty, Fiona, Lillie, Jordan, and Emily. Finally, I would personally like to thank my lovely wife, Amy, for having me as her husband! I read somewhere that “You don’t marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without”. Well, we’ve lived together for five years and I know I’ve married the right person. I’m so glad I can at last call you my wife. Now all that remains is for me to say please enjoy the rest of the day…… and mine’s a foster!

………..Good evening ladies, gentlemen, family, and friends. First of all, I must say a big “thank you” to Colin for his kind words. His speech was so good, he’s going to do mine for me too. As many of you will know, I am of the shy retiring type that likes to keep quiet and keep my opinions to myself, therefore you can understand my nervousness at standing up here in front of all of you making a speech. And as many of you will also know, I’m also a compulsive liar, but I am still nervous, that bit is true. I have been fearful of this bit for weeks, and as you can imagine, this isn’t the first time today I have arisen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. I read while researching wedding speeches that a good speech has a good beginning and a good ending. But the best speech of all is one that keeps these close together. So I will try and keep this as short as possible and will try my best not to do a “Gwinny” with my list of thanks. Firstly I would like to thank any Rangers fans for still being here and not walking out at 4.30 as usual. Pause for cheers But then again, I don’t think we’re friends with any of them anyway. I would like to thank my parents, Ian and Margaret for all the help they have given me over the years, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now. So, Helen, if it doesn’t work out you know who to blame. I would also like to thank Helen’s parents, Colin and Sandra, for making me feel like the son they never wanted, sorry the son they never had, right from day 2. Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they’re over it now……….

……….You are all aware of our problems over the last few years and one of my biggest worries, especially when I was “down South”, so to speak, was that my two children, Michelle and Nick would go off the rails. I’m pleased to say that they didn’t and they’ve both made us so proud of their achievements so I’d like to propose my toast to them….Michelle and Nick. Very few of you will know, but I am an erstwhile poet when the mood takes me. Anita has always complained that I have never written a poem for her, so I will today amend that omission. It’s called Wedding Day…………

………..On behalf of Julia and myself, or should I say on behalf of my wife and me, we would like to thank everyone for coming today. Everyone has traveled in some way to be here and share this special day with us and we’re delighted to see you all. A special thank-you goes out to those of you who have traveled a greater number of miles to be here today. It’s quite humbling to realize that you’re friends and family that care so much and are willing to travel all that way to share in your special day. Thank you for your cards, kind thoughts and of course all your wedding gifts. They’re all greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, there are two people who can’t be here today, my Dad and my granddad so, it would mean a lot to me if you would all stand for a toast in their memory – To Billy McCleery and James Harrison Snr…………

………….On a serious note, I’d firstly like to say a big thank you to my new Dad Dave. I’m proud to be his son-in-law and hope I can live up to his expectations, which should be easy, compared to his other son Mick! But let us not take this Father, Son thing too seriously, as I’m not into 10-mile runs before breakfast like you were in the Paras. Both Sharon and I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone for coming here today and sharing this special occasion with us. Especially those who brought expensive presents. Its much appreciated! Thank you to Edwin and Elsa, Margaret and Linda and many others who have traveled a long way to be here. It’s certainly a long way from Brighouse! We hope you all enjoy the day, have fun, relax and be merry…………….

Groom Rehearsal Dinner Speech

Congratulations on your upcoming rehearsal dinner speech! Here are three tips to help you write a memorable and meaningful speech:

• Keep it concise: Your speech should be short and sweet. Aim for no more than five minutes. Remember, this is just a rehearsal dinner, not the main event. You want to keep your guests engaged and entertained, but you don’t want to bore them with a long-winded speech.
• Personalize it: Share stories and anecdotes that are personal to you and your fiance. Talk about how you met, what you love about your fiancé, and what makes your relationship special. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions – this is a special occasion, after all.
• Thank your guests: Your rehearsal dinner is a time to thank the people who have supported you throughout your wedding planning process. Take a moment to express your gratitude and thank your guests for being a part of your special day.

Here’s an example of a groom rehearsal dinner speech that incorporates these three tips:

Good evening everyone, and thank you for joining us on this special night. I want to start by thanking our parents, who have been there for us every step of the way. Your love and support mean the world to us. I also want to thank our friends and family who have traveled from near and far to be here with us. We feel incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. As we sit here tonight, I can’t help but reflect on how lucky I am to have found my soulmate in [bride’s name]. I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one for me. Her kindness, intelligence, and beauty continue to amaze me every day. [Optional: insert a personal anecdote here] [Optional: insert a joke or humorous story here] As we prepare to start this new chapter of our lives together, I am filled with gratitude and joy. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.

The Great Groom Speech Template

Here’s a groom speech at wedding template that will help you create a winning speech with ease.

• Thank the guests Say a heartfelt thanks to the guests for leaving their busy schedules to honor you on your big day. Many of them sacrificed time, money, work, and even their safety to come all the way because they love you. Say thank you, mean it, and crack a joke. This is also the time to distribute little gifts or wedding favors to the guests.
• Say some words about the bride Gush about the woman of the moment. Let the guests feel your joy at getting married to the love of your life. Talk about what attracted you to her, what she means to you, and reiterate your vows. You may also seal this part of your speech with a kiss and watch her blush.
• Share a memorable story Getting to your wedding day was a long journey and there are stories that bind you. Let the guests know the beautiful way you met, and share sweet memories, funny ones, and romantic events. If both of you have a favorite song, pick a line from it and incorporate it into your speech. Avoid near break-up situations, forgiveness for some errors, or unpleasant situations that happened in your relationship.
• Share your impressions about the day Recount something beautiful about your wedding day. Maybe talk about how the sun shined bright because it knows an angel got married today. Talk about the beautiful reception, cake, or decor. Just incorporate something from the present.
• Say some words about the best man Your best man is arguably one of your strongest support systems throughout wedding planning. Give him some accolades in your speech. Talk about how you met and him being your main man through life. Appreciate him sincerely and even take a friendly jab at him.
• Thank your parents There is no better time to tell everyone how awesome your parents are. Talk about the bride’s parents too because you’re family now. Thank both families for being in your corner and promise to always behave. That will get in a few laughs.
• Close with a toast Finish your speech with a toast to your wife, parents, guests, love, and happiness.

Groom Speech Tips

A lot of grooms always get confused when trying to write a speech for their wedding. Days before the wedding, they go into a fit of panic because they know absolutely nothing to write. While writing such speech, you are conscious about the introduction, body, and conclusion. You want to catch the guests at the beginning of your speech, keep them interested and close off to a magnetic finishing.

The speech tips below are simple, concise and will give answers to all your questions.

• Prepare your mind and calm your nerves for the speech.
• Run speech by your best man to sieve out off liners.
• Make eye contact with everyone.
• Address the audience as a couple. Include your wife.
• Do away with vulgar words or jokes.
• Include the decent but minimal amount of humor.
• Don’t forget to thank your parents and in-laws
• Always throw some compliments the way of your wife and make the core of your speech.
• Dedicate some part of your speech to your wife. She is the main focus.
• Make the last toast go to your wife.
• Make your speech heartfelt and let your personality shine through.

What Not to Say in the Groom Speech

kreativwedding via Instagram

A perfect speech will give you unending applause from everyone. But a bad speech? The disasters are too much to mention. You will have in-laws getting pissed at you, the bridesmaids coming for your head. Your best man gunning to have you quartered and your wife preparing to give you hell.

To avoid the later and all other unforeseen ills that could happen with a badly given speech, here are some don’ts to the rescue.

Don’ts

• Don’t build your speech around anyone else but your wife.
• Don’t include vulgar words or insensitive jokes.
• Don’t take too much time making your speech. 5-10 minutes is enough.
• Don’t forget to introduce your best man and compliments the bridesmaids.
• Don’t forget to make your last toast to the bride.

Groom Wedding Toast Ideas

The groom’s wedding toast is quite numerous, most of which he will give as he makes his speech. For every stage he concludes in his speech, there is a toast. A toast to the father-in-law, to his best man, to the bridesmaids, to the guests present, and many more. The most important toast is to his wife and both of them as a couple.

To the father of the bride

“Let us toast to my father in law for raising and giving me this beautiful woman. For being a wonderful father to her, although I’m taking over. For accepting me as a son……. “

To the best man

“To my right-hand man for being there all the way. For taking time off work to make all things ready for my big day. For all the sacrifices you made from way back until now. For being my best friend in the real sense and too many more years as friends…..a toast to my best man (insert name)”

Toast To the guests

“A toast to you wonderful people. You are all amazing. Thanks for being here today and sharing in our joy. To many more years of celebration and happiness………. “

To the bride

“Whoever thought this angelic beauty seated here will be mine? Let’s all make a toast to my heartthrob, whose smile lightens my world. A toast to you baby, for all you are, for all you’ll be. To us, to life, to our love, to your happiness, too many blissful years with me, to our future, to forever…………”

Frequently Asked Questions

What should the groom say in his speech.

The groom’s speech typically includes gratitude, compliments to the bride, thanks to guests, and a toast.

What should the groom say at the rehearsal dinner?

The groom at the rehearsal dinner can express appreciation to those involved, share anecdotes, and convey excitement for the upcoming wedding.

How Long Should A Groom’s Speech Be?

A groom’s speech typically lasts around 5 to 10 minutes. It should be long enough to express gratitude, share anecdotes, and convey heartfelt sentiments, but short enough to maintain guests’ interest and keep the overall flow of the wedding reception.

Thank you all again for being here tonight. Let’s raise a glass to love, laughter, and happily ever after! The groom’s speech is one of the most anticipated speeches at a wedding. It doesn’t need such long preparation but could flop if you don’t get the hang of it. Give the best groom speech at wedding ever with the tips, ideas, and templates we’ve curated in this post. Speak from the heart, let your love shine, add some humor and you’re home free.

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12 Groom Speech Tips: How to Make a Killer Groom's Speech

Are you nervous about giving your groom's speech? Our experts have 12 top tips to giving the ultimate speech and help calm your nerves

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Have you been worrying about giving your groom’s speech ever since you popped the question? You’re not alone! This is arguably one of the most daunting parts of your entire wedding planning journey. 

You’ll need to consider how long your speech should be, your groom speech structure, and who you should be thanking. If you’re following the traditional order of speeches, your speech will come after the father of the bride (or groom) speech , and he could have set the bar pretty high.

But, don’t fret! We spoke to wedding speech writing experts to help calm your nerves. Speechwriter Chris Dance , Adrian Simpson from All Speeches Great and Small  and Heidi Ellert-McDermott from Speechy gave their best advice on what it takes to deliver a great groom speech.

• Groom's Wedding Speech Tips
• Groom Speech Preparation
• Who Does the Groom Toast and Thank?
• How to Write a Groom's Speech?

What Does the Groom Say in His Speech?

• How Long Should the Groom's Speech be?

12 Groom's Wedding Speech Tips

So here are our top tips on giving a wedding speech, but we've also put together a handy video for wedding speech-givers in a hurry! This video explains our best wedding speech tips for grooms, in under a minute. 

1. Acknowledge This Special Moment

“A great groom speech should be a really good dollop of entertainment and fun, whilst at the same time acknowledging what a very special moment this is. It’s your chance to stand up and acknowledge the people who have brought you to this point and, of course, to talk about the person you’ve been lucky enough to marry,” explained Adrian.

2. Think Carefully About How to Begin

Heidi advises that the best way to begin your groom speech is “quickly”.

She says: “Grooms often make the mistake of thinking they should sound formal and get overly stressed about following traditional etiquette. The aim is to get people laughing as soon as possible, certainly within the first three lines of your speech as it puts everyone listening at ease.”

As well as keeping it light and funny, Adrian points out that it’s important to address your partner's father and thank him for his speech: “Make it a warm and inclusive introduction, however, don’t be tempted to detail his financial contribution. A reference to his generosity should be sincere but very general.”

3. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience applies to all speech writing and Chris emphasises this by explaining that you should: "Keep in mind who you're talking to and make the speech accessible to everyone in the room. Don't use in-jokes that only you and your workmates will get, don't risk anything offensive or controversial, and steer clear of politics."

4. Add in a Few (Appropriate) Jokes

“There’s a lot of emotion on the big day and making people laugh with some wedding jokes or amusing stories is the best way to balance that out,” explains Adrian.

Keep your stories short, funny, and appropriate! You don’t want to be embarrassing your new wife or husband on your first day as a married couple.

“Are you already concerned that your bride’s ‘pinot posse’ have started chatting up the bar staff? Or are you finding it hard to recognise your middle-aged cycling buddies in clothes that they usually wouldn’t be seen dead in? Make your humour personal and seemingly spontaneous – your guests will really appreciate it,” adds Heidi.

Adrian advises grooms to steer away from a speech that’s more of a ‘dry procession of thanks’ as you’ll struggle to keep your guests’ attention – so even if you’re not a naturally charismatic person, make sure your personality shines through above the mere thank-yous.

Take a look at these groom speech jokes for inspiration! 

5. Remember to Thank Everyone

Traditionally, the groom will need to thank the following:

• Everyone for coming
• His parents
• His partner’s parents
• His best man and ushers (if there are any)
• The maid of honour and bridesmaids (if there are any)

Heidi advises that although there are probably plenty of other people who you would love to thank for their contributions and help towards your special day, try to avoid thanking half of the guest list.

A simple way to thank everyone would be to say:

"This is the best day of my life and it's because of all of you, and especially you (referring to your partner). I cannot thank you all enough for being here."

When it comes to thanking parents, there’s one thing Adrian warns grooms to be careful of. “Don’t fall into the trap of waxing lyrical about your new parents-in-law for several paragraphs, dismissing your own parents in a sentence. They should both be given equal measure.”

An example to combine them both would be to say:

"Thank you for my parents for bring me up to be the person I am today and thank you to my in-laws for welcoming me into your family."

6. Focus on Your New Partner

Heidi suggests that your new partner should be the main focus of your speech. She says, “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to drop a public love-bomb on your partner and considering they’ve just agreed to tolerate all of your habits and box sets for the rest of their life, it’s the least you can do!

“Remember, every groom thinks his partner is gorgeous, kind and generally amazing so avoid cliché terms and words and concentrate on what makes them unique. Nailing their individual and quirky characteristics shows that you really get your new husband or wife and your friends and family will love you for that.”

Chris recommends that you do this by giving examples: "Don't just say that your partner is kind and thoughtful; illustrate it with the story about the time that they dressed up as Boba Fett and threw you a surprise Star Wars party, or about how they still hold your hand at the dentists because you hate the sound of the drill."

7. Forget Giving Out Gifts

Heidi advises that if you’re planning on giving thank you gifts to bridesmaids , parents or anyone else, either do it earlier on in the day or announce that you’ll be personally thanking them later as to not disrupt the speech.

She says: “Gift-giving is basically an excuse for guests to start checking their WhatsApp!”

8. Don't Be Too Ambitious

The time you take to the mic to make your groom's speech will no doubt be a big moment, but Chris shares that it is important to be realistic about what your comfort zone is and stay in it.

"It's a speech to your friends, not an audition for Britain's Got Talent. If you're terrified of public speaking, keep it simple. Don't give yourself unnecessary stress by filling your speech with tongue-twisters or trying to be Billy Connolly." 

9. Think Carefully About the Structure

Adrian says, “There are lots of people to talk about and you should deal with them one at a time and avoid repetition.

“Resist the urge to launch straight into how amazing your new partner looks and then pepper the speech with references to them. They are the star of the show so save the latter half of the speech to be dedicated to them and what they mean to you.”

10. Eight Minutes is the Perfect Length of Time

Adrian says that the length of a groom’s speech can really make or break it: “Too short and people are going to be wondering why you bothered. Too long and nobody will be listening. Keep it to a ‘stand up-sit down’ time of 10 minutes – that’s a talking time of around eight minutes and the rest will be made up from laughter, applause and heckles.”

Heidi also stressed the importance of not boring people with a lengthy speech, but also not coming across like you’re enjoying the attention a little too much.

11. Avoid Too Much Detail

Adrian explained that it’s too much detail that really slows a speech down: “A great speech demands the very least from the guests in order for them to enjoy it, so now is not the time to recount exactly how you know each of the ushers individually. A good guide is to aim for a total of 1,350 words – if you’re edging well over that, then it’s time to strip out some of the content.”

12. Think About Your Ending

According to Adrian: “Tradition says that you should end on a toast to the bridesmaids and a little aside to the best man. I’ve never found this works – in my opinion, the focus of the speech should be exclusively on your partner, that’s why I suggest toasting to the bridesmaids earlier in the speech and making the final words all about your partner.

“You should have talked about the best man earlier in the speech but there’s no harm in having a quick one-liner referencing him at the end but make sure it’s after the final toast.”

Groom Speech Preparation To Calm Your Nerves

Never Ending Stories

Heidi has a lot of advice when it comes to calming nerves around your wedding speech, starting with just how important the planning and preparation is.

“The key to being confident on the day is writing a wedding speech that’s so good you can’t wait to deliver it. If you know you’re going to make your friends laugh, your mum cry and your bride/groom love you even more then you’ll ooze confidence whilst delivering your speech.”

1. Film Yourself – Use your phone to film yourself practising your speech. Watch it back and channel your inner Simon Cowell – work out how your delivery could be improved and what you would change.

2. Dutch Courage Isn’t Always the Answer – Although lots of grooms swear by a bit of Dutch courage, this is based on wishful thinking rather than solid science!

3. Smile and Breathe – It may sound obvious but taking a deep breath is surprisingly effective at reducing those stress nerves and smiling is scientifically proven to be infectious, making them a fool-proof combination.

Does the Groom Give a Speech?

Traditionally, the groom will give a speech at the wedding reception, following the ceremony. You can do whatever works for you, but the traditional order for speeches is for the father of the bride to speak, then the groom, best man and any other toasts.

How to Write a Groom's Speech

If you are writing your groom's speech yourself the key points to remember are to compliment your new spouse and thank any key guests. Any other additions are nice extras! 

Writing not your strength? Hiring a professional speechwriter is a brilliant option. "It’s not cheating - if it is then so is ordering a wedding cake when you’ve got perfectly good eggs and flour at home," shares Chris.

"Speech writing is a specialist skill: giving the task to someone who can mould your words and articulate your thoughts is as valid a use of your budget as any other wedding service you’re paying for – arguably more valid, given that it’s probably the bit of the day you’re most worried about."

"The groom should focus on thankyous," explains Chris. "He should thank everyone for coming to the wedding - especially Jim and Tania who’ve kayaked all the way from Gdansk; anyone who contributed to it significantly, his partner’s parents for spawning such a catch; his own parents for loving and/or tolerating him.

"When he’s done that he can get on with lavishing praise on the person he’s married and saying how deliriously happy he is. That’s what the guests really want to hear from him, so he needs to do that bit well and sincerely."

How Long Should a Groom's Speech be?

Ideally, you want your groom's speech to be no more than ten minutes. Make sure to rehearse it a few times before the big day and time yourself - you don't want your guests to start getting bored!

"Just remember, if there are two or three other speakers then you’re asking your guests to sit still and listen patiently for half an hour, which is a long time when you’re stuffed full of wine, sea bass and tiramisu and you want to stretch your legs.

"However long your speech lasts (I find seven to ten minutes is usually enough), try to keep it punchy, lively and relevant: there is such a thing as a five minute speech that’s so dull it feels like a lifetime, yet fifteen minutes can race by if your speech is bright, engaging and funny," says Chris.

Still feeling nervous? Fear not – here’s our guide on how to deliver an amazing wedding speech !

Related Hitched articles

How to Write a Short and Simple Groom Speech

The Groom Speech is one of the most important pieces of the wedding ‘jigsaw’.

Get it right and you’ll be a hero in the eyes of your new Bride and leave your guests with big smiles on their faces.

Get it wrong and there could be a big, embarrassing hole in the middle of an otherwise perfect day.

So the pressure’s on and while the Groom speech is not a hard one to pull off, it’s also an easy one to screw up.

But there’s no need to panic! Take a deep breath, think calming thoughts and read my Stress-Free Guide to Writing a Short and Simple Groom Speech .

An Effective Groom Speech is as Simple as ABC

Some Groom speeches are masterpieces of speechwriting - full of touching stories, memorable details and clever jokes.

But the truth is that as long as you include just three essential elements you can deliver a rock-solid Groom speech that ticks all the right boxes.

So here’s my ABC for an effective Groom speech, which tells you exactly what to say, and when to say it…

A is for… Acknowledgements

This is non-negotiable - acknowledging the important people in your life, particularly those who’ve helped with the arrangements for the big day.

Forget to say “thank you” and you’ll not only look ungrateful but your speech could leave a bad taste in the mouth of anyone who felt they deserved a quick mention.

And remember, even if you’ve thanked someone in person - or plan to - nothing can quite replace giving them public recognition in front of the other guests.

”Thank You” Checklist

Here’s a checklist of people you might want to thank:

• The Father of the Bride for his toast to you and the Bride
• Your parents for their support over the years
• The Bride’s parents for:a) bringing up your wonderful wife, andb) for welcoming you into their family
• Your Groomsmen for their help on and before the big day
• The Bridesmaids for the help they’ve given the Bride

”Thank You” Gifts

If you intend to hand out any gifts you can do this as part of the acknowledgements.

Absent Family and Friends

It’s also customary to acknowledge absent family and friends.

This can be a poignant moment so make sure there’s a brief pause to remember important people, before diving into…

B is for… Bride

Once you’ve shown your gratitude by acknowledging all the key wedding players, it’s time to get to the main topic of your speech, which is of course - the Bride!

Yes, the thank you’s are absolutely essential, but they’re really just a polite preamble. It’s the bit where you start to talk fondly about your new wife that your guests are really looking forward to hearing.

Even if you’re the strong, silent type, your wedding day is the one occasion where you get to show your softer side and let a few honest feelings show through.

But don’t worry, it’s dead easy to write a crowd-pleasing Groom speech. Because although the Best Man’s speech, for example, is expected to be funny, all that the Groom’s speech really needs to be is sincere - and a little romantic.

In the spirit of minimalism, here’s a simple template to use if you’re lost for words when it comes to talking about your beautiful Bride:

• Tell the story of how you first met
• Say what you love about her - illustrated with a quick anecdote
• Tell us something about your hopes and plans for your future together

Do this right and you’ll score some serious points with your new wife and have all the guests (well the women at least!) thinking you’re the ultimate romantic hero!

C is for… Cheers!

So you’ve thanked everyone who needs thanking and you’ve made your new Bride swoon with some well-chosen words straight from the heart.

Job done, right? Time to sit down.

Well, not quite.

Wrap it up and end on a high

All good speeches have a clear beginning, middle and an end, and the Groom speech is no exception. You’ve just nailed the beginning and the middle, so let’s wrap things up neatly and end on a high.

Nothing gets a more enthusiastic response than an invitation to drink, and it’s traditional for the Groom’s speech to end with a toast to the Bridesmaids.

In an ultra-minimal Groom speech you could simply thank everyone for listening and immediately propose the toast.

However, it’s nice to acknowledge the next speaker - usually the Best Man - before you sit back down (and hopefully receive a big kiss from your wife).

A simple template for the perfect ending

So, with that in mind, here’s a quick guide to the perfect ending:

• Thank everyone for listening and say it’ll soon be time for the Best Man to speak
• Say a few short words about the Best Man and how much you’re looking forward to his speech
• Raise a toast to the Bridesmaids and hand straight over to the Best Man (or the MC)

So that’s it! You’ve reached the end of my Minimalist Guide.

Hopefully the prospect of writing your Groom speech is now about as stressful as gently raking the sand in your Zen garden whilst listening to an iPod full of whale song.

Now take a deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds, then slowly exhale any remaining worries and fears about your speech.

Just pick up a notepad and your favourite pen, and get writing.

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Writing the Groom’s Speech: The Ultimate Guide to Your Wedding Toast

• Wedding Planning

Unless you’re a fan of public speaking, you’ve probably found your way here wondering how on earth you’re meant to begin writing the speech for your wedding day…

Well, as a groom, you’re in luck, the Groom’s Wedding Speech is actually a very simple, straightforward one to write, and with a couple of read-throughs, you’ll nail it (even if you are reading this the night before.

In what order should the Groom’s speech be?

A Groom’s Wedding Speech is one of the four traditional wedding speeches. Typically, the Groom’s wedding speech follows the speeches of the Father of the Bride and the Best Man, and is followed by the Maid of Honour (historically, a Bride would not make a speech). Of course, it will be completely up to you as a couple to decide who will be speaking, and what order that should be in (though someone may just surprise you and wish to speak on the day!), and of course, if this is a same-sex wedding, there may be two Grooms making speeches.  See all the different ways  same-sex couples can reinvent the speech section of their wedding.

Why the Groom’s Speech is the Easiest Wedding Speech to Write

It’s often said that the groom’s speech is the easiest speech to write because it has a simple structure and purpose. Here are some reasons why:

• Shorter length: The groom’s speech is usually shorter than other speeches, such as the Father of the Bride or Best Man’s toast. This means that there is less pressure to come up with a lot of content, be particularly funny or entertaining, or even share personal stories – leave that up to the others if you wish.
• Simple structure: The Groom’s speech typically follows a very simple structure, starting with an opening thank you and acknowledgment of the Bride, followed by a brief anecdote or two, possibly about wedding planning (and how much or little you’ve had to do with it), and ending with a toast to the future. This structure makes it easy to plan and write the speech.
• Personal experience: The Groom’s speech is often based on personal experience, making it easier to write from the heart. The Groom can share stories about how he met his Bride, how he fell in love, or when he knew he wanted to marry her, which can easily make for a heartfelt and meaningful speech. Trust us, all anybody really wants to hear is how stunning you think your new wife is, and what a phenomenal job she has done planning the day (even if you think you took on a fair share of it!)

How to Write the Groom’s Wedding Speech

• Start with a plan

Before you begin writing your speech, it’s important to have a plan in place. Think about the key points you want to make and how you can weave them together into a cohesive message, possibly incorporating a point into both the introduction and conclusion.

• Begin with a strong opening

To captivate your audience from the start, consider beginning with a strong opening. This could be a heartfelt quote or a humorous story that sets the tone for the rest of your speech. The goal is to grab the attention of your audience and set the tone for the rest of your speech.

• Speak from the heart

The best wedding speeches are those that come from the heart. While it can be tempting to focus on jokes or generic sentiments, take the time to speak honestly about your feelings. Share what you love about your new spouse and what makes your relationship special. Speak from the heart, and your words will be sure to resonate with your audience.

• Keep it concise

While you may have a lot to say, it’s important to keep your speech concise. Aim for a speech that lasts around five minutes, as anything longer can cause your audience to lose interest. Stick to the key points you want to make and be mindful of your audience’s attention span.

• Include humor

Wedding speeches don’t have to be serious all the time. In fact, including humor can be a great way to engage your audience and lighten the mood. Consider adding a funny story or anecdote to your speech to break up the more serious moments., practice, practice.

• Practice Reading Your Speech

Once you’ve written your speech, it’s time to practice. Read it out loud several times to get a feel for how it sounds and to make sure it flows well. Consider practicing in front of a mirror or in front of a friend to get feedback. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll feel delivering your speech on the big day.

Making the Groom’s Speech Funny

If humour comes naturally to you, your speech is likely to be funny too, and your guests are the ones who know and love you best (so they’ll definitely laugh along with you). If you struggle to tell personal anecdotes, consider including some funny quotes or sweet sayings:

• “The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf.”  —  Ruth Bader Ginsburg 
• “If at first you don’t succeed…try doing it the way your wife told you.”  —  Unknown
• “The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.”  —  Henny Youngman
• “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person.”  —  Mignon McLaughlin (this one’s in our ‘ I still do ‘ anniversary journal)
• “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”  —  Ogden Nash

What should the Groom actually say in his wedding speech?

Of course, the groom’s wedding speech is also an opportunity to express his love and appreciation for his partner in front of friends and family. It’s a chance to share heartfelt words that capture the essence of their relationship and the depth of his feelings. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to writing a groom’s speech, the following tips can help create a personal and loving tribute:

• Start with gratitude: Begin by thanking everyone for being there to celebrate this special day. Express your gratitude for their love and support, and how much it means to have them all there with you.
• Acknowledge your partner: Take a moment to acknowledge your partner and how much they mean to you. Share a personal story about how you met or something that has strengthened your relationship over time. Speak from the heart and let your emotions guide you. Thank them, if they have worked really hard to plan the wedding , as it has probably been a huge emotional undertaking for them too.
• Speak to their qualities: Talk about the qualities you admire in your partner, such as their kindness, compassion, sense of humor, or intelligence. Share specific examples that demonstrate these traits and how they have impacted your life.
• Express your love: This is the perfect opportunity to express your love and affection for your partner. Use language that is personal and meaningful to you, whether it’s through poetry, song lyrics, or your own heartfelt words.
• Make promises: A wedding is a celebration of a lifelong commitment, so take this opportunity to make promises to your partner about the future you will build together. Reinforce the vows you wrote to each other . You might promise to support them through thick and thin, to always be their partner in life, or to continue growing and learning together.
• Thank the families: Thank both families for their love and support, and for coming together to celebrate this special day. Acknowledge any special people in your partner’s life, such as parents or grandparents, and express your gratitude for their presence.
• End with a toast: Raise a glass to your partner, your families, and your future together. Invite everyone to join you in celebrating this joyous occasion and toast to the happiness and love that lies ahead.

Is there anything the Groom shouldn’t say in his speech?

Ah, yes, we’re so glad you asked, there are a few things never to include in a wedding speech .

• No matter how funny the anecdote sounds to you on paper, ex-girlfriends or past relationships for either party are off the table . It’s best to avoid this topic entirely.
• Controversial or sensitive topics: Weddings are a time to celebrate love and happiness, so it’s best to avoid controversial or sensitive topics that could potentially upset or offend guests. This could include politics, religion, or other divisive issues.
• Inside jokes or stories that are inappropriate: While inside jokes and stories can be entertaining, it’s important to consider whether they are appropriate for a wider audience. If a story or joke could potentially embarrass or offend someone, it’s best to avoid it.
• Negative comments about anyone (ANYONE): A wedding is a time to celebrate and show love, so it’s important to avoid negative comments or criticism of anyone. This includes family members, friends, vendors, or even the bride or groom themselves. Don’t resort to self-deprecating humour, this just isn’t the time. See etiquette guide to wedding speeches .

Remember, the most important thing is to speak from the heart and be true to yourself. While it can be tempting to focus on jokes or generic sentiments, take the time to speak honestly about your feelings. Share what you love about your new spouse and what makes your relationship special. Speak from the heart, and your words will be sure to resonate with your audience. Don’t worry too much about getting the words perfect – the emotion behind them is what really counts. With these tips in mind, you can create a personal and loving tribute to yo.ur partner that will be remembered for years to come.

Finally, the best, most entertaining and engaging speeches are ones which are to the point and concise. Aim for a speech that lasts around five minutes, as anything longer can cause your audience to lose interest. Stick to the key points you want to make and be mindful of your audience’s attention span.

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Groom Speech Examples

• Groom , Uncategorised
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(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI .)

Lessons to Learn from Our Speech Examples

• Length – no more than 1,300 words
• Structure – Don’t begin with the thank-yous, start with the stories and hook in your audience
• Don’t let your speech become a tedious thank-you list
• Tell good stories
• Resist Googled-gags, cliches, and platitudes
• Pepper the speech with humour throughout
• Have the romantic summary towards the end of your speech

Ultimately though,  every speech should be unique and tailored to the individual speaker’s style.

For obvious reasons, we cannot share the full range of speeches we write for our clients but these are generic (and made-up) speeches to give you an idea of a good structure.

Your speech may be more sentimental, shorter, or poetic. Crucially, it needs to be more YOU!

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to what can only be described as the greatest day of my life. Well, second greatest day of my life, if you include the day Misty managed to not leave a wet towel on the bed. (Pretend to wipe tear away) Sorry, it’s an emotional memory.

Firstly, on behalf of both Misty and I, let me thank you all for coming. I know many of you have travelled long distances to be here. And a special thanks to our English friends, many of whom see travelling north of the border as akin to entering the Squid Games. Your bravery is greatly appreciated.

THE SPEECH-MEAT

Now, another person I’d like to thank is our mutual friend Lou who actually set us up six years ago. I mean, I say ‘set up’, she described me to Misty as ‘average looking, but has nice shoes’.

But uncharitable review or not, it certainly seemed to do the trick. When we met for the first time at Lou’s birthday drinks, we immediately gravitated towards each other. We talked intensely all evening. It was one of those conversations where you lose all track of time and everything else just seems to drift into the background. We talked about life, hobbies, future plans and how when she was a kid, she was obsessed with Winnie the Pooh. Which makes it not at all surprising that she’d end up with me: a chubby character with one shirt and an aggressive appetite.

I remember coming away from that evening in a bit of a haze, not only had I found someone I liked, and liked me back, but I’d also found someone who could still rap all the words to Eminem’s ‘Stan’.

I thought life couldn’t get any better until, as we went to leave, she nervously turned to me and uttered those three magic words all guys want to hear: Fancy a kebab?

It was then I knew I was in love.

It’s a weird feeling meeting someone that you know you’d happily spend the rest of your life with. Before meeting Misty ‘love’ felt like just a word, and all of a sudden, she comes along and fills that word with meaning.

To this day, I’ve always maintained that it feels like we are two halves of the same whole. It felt like that then, and still does now, that we were just the right amount of similar, and just the right amount of different to be perfect together.

We complement each other’s good traits, and soften each other’s bad ones. By which I mean, I occasionally pick up her wet towels and she does literally everything else.

But I also mean that she has taught me a lot. She’s taught me that kindness always wins, she’s taught me that it’s not the words you say, but the way you make people feel that gets remembered, and she’s taught me that marmite and cheese on crumpets is the greatest snack known to man.

She is the other side to my coin, the cheerful Winnie the Pooh to my grumpy Eeyore. And now, incredibly, she’s my wife.

THE THANK YOUS

If you’ll all allow me, I’d like to take this opportunity to mention some incredibly important people who have helped us not just today, but throughout our lives.

Firstly, I’d like to thank my dad, who has taught me that being a man isn’t about machismo and bravado, it’s about being warm, welcoming and caring. I’ve often been called a ‘mini David’, and it’s something I’ll continue to wear as a badge of honour.

To Misty’s parents, June and Martin, your help with the wedding planning has been utterly invaluable, and I can’t thank you enough for how you’ve both welcomed me into your family. I’ll look forward to many more Sunday dinners that end with Martin saying ‘I’ll get the whiskey’.

To my groomsmen, for turning up both fully dressed and mostly sober, and also for years of support, advice and knowing exactly when I need a chat and a game of FIFA.

To Misty’s bridesmaids for being amazing friends and helping everyone keep a cool head with yesterday’s dress disaster. Your sage advice and support has always been a great comfort to Misty and I both.

THE DEARLY DEPARTED

And finally, I’d like to say thank you to a very special woman who is sadly no longer with us: my mum. There’s no other way to say it, other than it’s heartbreaking that she can’t be here today. She was a person who was born to be at big events. A person who filled the room with her smile and her presence. And while she can’t be with us, I know how much she approved of Misty, because in the latter weeks of her life, she tapped me on the hand and gently said ‘Misty is a keeper’.

So mum, I love you and I miss you, and I hope you’re looking down on us today with your characteristic big smile on your face, safe in the knowledge that I’ve taken your advice on board.

ROMANTIC TRIBUTE

Now, I’m not one for massive promises and grand gestures, but now seems like as good a moment as any to break from that tradition. So Misty, before I end this speech, I’d like to give you three promises for our future life together: I promise whenever you say ‘fancy a kebab?’ I’ll always say yes. I promise to always back you up by singing the Dido chorus in ‘Stan’, and I promise that no matter what, I’ll spend the rest of my days attempting to make you as happy as you’ve made me.

So, without further ado, if you’ll all kindly be upstanding, and join me in a toast to my best friend and love of my life: The new… Mrs Misty Ferguson! (Raise toast).

Written by Ed and Tom , Speechy Writers

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, Spaniards and Americans – today is a historic day. As Michelle has done me the great honour of agreeing to be my wife, it is a day when our countries’ traditions and cultures come together.

Today, the Spanish Imperial Eagle takes to the skies with the American Bald Eagle. Today, we scatter hamburgers and fries across the paella and create the McPaella. Today, we play the Marcha Real alongside the Star-Spangled Banner.

( PLAY MUSIC MASH-UP OF THE TWO NATIONAL ANTHEMS PLAYED AT THE SAME TIME).

As you can perhaps tell, a mix of cultures is not always an easy thing, but I believe that, with work, my wife and I can make it so that our music is harmonious, our meals are delicious and our nation’s birds do not peck each other to death.

Today, I have the joy of standing here as part of a married couple. As you may know, I am more mature than the traditional groom and I must admit that as, one-by-one, my friends and family members all got married, I sat there at a succession of weddings, always on the single table. In case you were wondering, the single table is Table Five today. Please stop by and pity them, it’s what they deserve. 

At every wedding, I was pestered by my mother and aunts about when I will marry. I looked at the grooms and I thought, ‘Thank God I am single.’ I will admit I have enjoyed the bachelor life. I have enjoyed being free to pursue my work, to not worry about when I come home, and to live in a house where there are fewer than two cushions in the entire place.

But then Michelle happened.

We met through the intervention of our friend Katya – there she is on Table Five, and, yes, she is single. I met Michelle in the street as we were passing and she was rude to me and bossy. I couldn’t understand this American powerhouse. She told me to take her out for coffee and I don’t know what happened. I lost the power to resist. All of my bachelor strength was drained, and I found myself nodding and doing as I was told for once.

I don’t know how but Michelle flies under my radar, she unpicks my defences and I find it impossible to resist her. And I have tried!

So, my beautiful wife Michelle arrived and my bachelor life ended. I am able to stand here today and say I am so grateful that it has. No more Table Five. No more aunts and mothers asking me when I will get married. So many more cushions.

Michelle has allowed me to speak for both of us today, which she did so on the condition that I understood this was to be the last time in our married lives that this was the case. From now on, I shall be the perfect trophy husband that Michelle wants, I will nod and I will look pretty.

I would like to take this opportunity then to say some sincere and heartfelt thank yous. First of all, I would like to thank you, our guests, for coming today. I know that for some of you, especially the guests today from Malaga in southern Spain, the journey to join us here today has been significant.

THE BIG THANK YOU

When people will fly nearly 5,000 miles to a wedding, you realise how powerful the offer of free food and drink truly is. I hope today is a celebration for you too and please know that we are so grateful for you making this day so special.

Now for the rest of you, I want to issue a warning that many of our Malagan guests might not have the greatest command of the English language. For some of them this is the first time that they have been abroad. I won’t embarrass him by name, but one of the guests asked me where Mickey Mouse was and I had to explain that the mouse isn’t everywhere.

So, to make them feel more welcome I thought maybe I could teach you some useful Spanish phrases that could help you integrate. If you look on your table you will see a card for you each so you can read along with me. So listen to me and repeat please!

‘He bebido demasiado Sangria y no puedo sentir mis piernas.’

Come on, I know you can do it.

That is a very useful Spanish phrase which means:

‘I have drunk too much Sangria and can no longer feel my legs.’

Ok, another:

‘Me gustaria bailar Flamenco contigo hasta una hora desaconsejable.’

That means:

‘I would like to dance the flamenco with you until an inadvisable hour.’

Excellent! Now finally:

‘Hola, me puedes llamar un Uber. No recuerdo nada de anoche.’

That translastes as:

‘Please call me an Uber, I have no recollection of last night.’

Now, as you may know I have been in America for nearly ten years now and I am starting to think of myself as part-American. For Michelle, I know this makes her laugh, because she often says that I am the most Spanish man in the history of the world.

But I think coming to a foreign country can be an amazing learning experience because every day you do things as an outsider. Everything is different here. Everything. You want to go to the toilet in America then you have to pay to go into the toilet. In America, toilets are also a business! Amazing!

I am an outsider with your food. Thanks to my mother I was raised eating home-cooked food bursting with flavour, then I come to America and I eat McDonalds every day and slowly my tastebuds fade away and now they are on life support, kept going only by the jamon iberico my mother sends me at Christmas.

But as an outsider I have also been shocked to see the difference in some people in America – the friendliness and the warmth that I am offered. I think this is why Michelle has overcome my defences.

As you know, she works as the director of a charity and she lives her life for other people. She thinks and she cares for other people all the time and I am amazed that she has agreed to be my wife today. Perhaps I am her biggest charity project yet and one day after years of rehabilitation she will release me back into the wild. I hope not.

By contrast, I am the greedy property developer, making money from the ruins of other people’s lives and hopes. I will not lie, my day is not complete until I have pushed at least three widows out of their houses and turned their homes into flats. But maybe this too has been useful for my marriage. After all, my work has taught me to look at ruined and dilapidated things and see the beauty there. Anyone drawing any comparisons to Michelle should be ashamed of themselves.

THE ROMANTIC SUMMARY

Seriously, I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful woman on any continent in the world today.

I want to thank you for coming to our wedding. I want to thank Michelle for agreeing to be my wife and I want to end my speech by offering her these traditional arras . These are Spanish gold coins that a groom gives to his wife on their wedding day. The coins are a symbol of how the man promises to provide for his wife. Not just in terms of finance but also for their emotions – to be a provider that gives her everything she needs.

My love, I give these coins to you today and promise that I will do my best to ensure that for you for the rest of our lives you have everything you ever need and, always, more than enough love.

Now everybody: please raise your glasses and repeat after me:  ‘¡Arriba! ¡Abajo! ¡Al centro! …. y pa dentro!’ That means put your arm up, put your arm down, health for you all, drink it down!

Speech written by Andrew, Speechy writer

Ladies and gentlemen, uncles and aunties, bhaiyon aur behano , boys and girls – namaste and welcome. My wife and I…(pause for applause) thank you so much for coming to share this wonderful weekend with us.

Of course, as much as we’d love to take credit for it, this has been a mammoth group effort with so many to thank for their involvement. After this, our parents are going to take a well-earned rest and sort out the global warming issue.

Now, you already heard the disastrous way Priyanka and I met from the best man, so I won’t go over that again. But it’s true what he said – we were… well, we are like chalk and cheese. Or some would say coal and paneer. And you can tell which one of us is paneer, can’t you?

As a primary school teacher, Priyanka is warm, caring, communicative – a real people’s person who works amongst a number of impatient clients every day. As an architect, I’m concise, introverted, and analytical – I need my space to focus on just one project, sometimes for months at a time. Basically, I’m boring, slow and don’t like hanging out with people.

(Look around) Really, I’ve no idea how this all happened.

But, as the saying goes, opposites attract and you can see that for yourselves in our wedding. Priyanka’s creativity and vivid imagination has gone wild. Getting married in October, she actually wanted this weekend to have a Halloween-themed twist, asking guests to wear Indian costumes, but ripped and bloodied so we’d all look like zombies.

At one point, there was even a Thriller dance routine being planned.

I, of course, shot down idea after idea with my pragmatism, wanting us to keep things traditional, low-maintenance and on the right side of sane. But, if any of you want to rip up your lehangas and kurtas and cover yourselves in the madras, feel free. Though, looking at my mother, maybe not!

Of course, I couldn’t reject all of Priyanka’s inspired ideas and you’ll spot many of them here this evening: the Indian food twists on pizzas and sushi, and the dosa-crepe stand were all her idea. The games of Antakshari, the Carrum tournament, the masala cocktails and the band that does rock covers of Bollywood numbers? All her.

Whilst she came up with all the cool ideas, I kept in my lane; compiling an Excel spreadsheet and making sure we could actually pay for it all. And when I say ‘ we ’, what I actually mean is we pay a small percentage while our parents pay the rest. Thank you Maa, Papa, Saasuma, Sasurji. We owe you. Literally!

But honestly, watching Priyanka plan our wedding has been an absolute joy and seeing how beautiful she looks today is truly humbling.

Priyanka’s knowledge and creativity as a teacher, even as an individual, has never failed to astound me. I had no idea how much my life lacked colour until I met her. She introduced me to different foods, different countries and cultures, and even different films and TV.

I honestly thought she was ready to break up with me when I told her I’d never watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hain . And I was sure it was the end of us when she forced me to watch Maine Pyar Kiya and I walked out halfway through the film. Those of you who don’t know, she loves Maine Pyar Kiya the same way I love KFC.

As I say, opposites attract.

ROMANTIC SUMMARY

Priyanka brings the fun and the excitement to the relationship, and I hope, as an architect, I bring the structure. It may not sound as fun as colour, but when you build the foundations of a relationship you need both passion and pragmatism to keep it from crumbling when confronted with life’s challenges.  

We visit monuments like the Taj Mahal and the Pyramids of Giza because of their colour and the emotions they evoke, and thankfully they continue to stand due to their intelligent architecture. Both foundation and beauty play equally important roles in maintaining the immortality of these international treasures. And I think it’s the same principle that means Priyanka and I will stand the test of time.  

We bring out the best in each other and push one another to challenge the people we are. Sure, this can lead to a few ‘debates’ but we’re ready to hear each other out, and most importantly, we’re ready to compromise. This wedding is the perfect example of the beauty that compromise can lead to. I’ve no doubt we have a few more disagreements ahead of us, but I’m equally sure that our compromises will lead to ever more beautiful times shared together.

Priyanka, before I met you, I already had strong foundations. In fact, I was an unmovable object, working in the same place I’d joined since graduation, living in the same flat. You came in like an unstoppable rainbow grenade, and I don’t think my life was ever the same again. I don’t want my life to ever be the same again.

Whenever you’re about, Kuch Kuch Hota Hain (something happens) and it’s fair to say, Maine Pyar Kiya (I fell in love).

Now, if you can all join me in a toast to my beautiful wife, my very own rainbow grenade, my wonderful Priyanka.

To Priyanka.

Written by Shai, Speechy writer

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The Ultimate Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

Don't leave anyone or anything important off your list of thank yous.

The groom's wedding speech is often about covering all bases. It doesn't have the bravado and general LOLs of a best man speech , the gushing and poignant words of a bridesmaid speech, or all the nostalgia and tear-jerking words of a father of the bride or groom speech. Instead, a groom's speech is half admin, half emotion; kind of like an Oscar acceptance! A chance to shout out the wedding party, thank the ushers, and tell your new in-laws how chuffed you are to be part of the family. To help you write your speech - and to make sure you don't leave anyone out - we've put together a handy groom's wedding speech checklist . You'll thank us later!

A groom doing a speech solo is more common, but we've also seen lots of couples do their thank you speech together , as well as brides making speeches too ( more ladies on the mic please !). Our list covers all bases and standard family structures, but tweak it as is appropriate for you. Hopefully it comes in handy whatever kind of wedding thank you speech you're making.

Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

(In no particular order, but this order makes for a nice crescendo!)

• Thank the guests for coming - give a special shout out to anyone who's come a long way
• Thank any staff or suppliers who worked on the day - only those present
• Thank the celebrant - if present
• Thank anyone who helped in the lead up to the day (outside of the wedding party and immediate family) - any one who gave lifts, stitched bunting, glued centrepieces, etc.
• Thank anyone who took part in the day itself - ceremony readings , music, wedding cake baker, etc
• Mention your new parents in law and siblings - this is a good time to tell them how happy you are to join the family, how welcome/terrified they made you feel, how you promise to be there for their son or daughter/brother or sister.
• Mention your siblings  - be specific about things they helped you with or special memories. This is also a good time to mention any other special family members, grandparents, step-parents, etc.
• Mention your parents - if both your parents are present, thank them both individually, usually an anecdote about the kind of person they've taught you to be goes down well.
• Thank your wedding party - make sure both sides get a mention, though it's fine to gush a bit harder about your best man!
• Thank your other half - for marrying you, for looking fabulous, for being wonderful, and all the other good things you can think of. Remember to tell them all about why you love them and why you can't wait to get started with married life!

Need more help with your wedding speeches - we've got you covered!

• 30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
• How to Begin a Wedding Speech: Great Opening Lines
• The Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?
• 9 Ways to Shake Up Your Wedding Speeches
• How to Give a Flawless Best Man Speech
• Everything You Need To Play Wedding Speech Bingo

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Episode 22: wedding speeches 101.

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• Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception? How to Write a Wedding Toast Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech How to Write a Best Man Toast Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech What to Know About a Newlywed Toast Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips 60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

Public Speaking Experts Share Their Top Tips for Giving an Amazing Wedding Speech

Check out their best examples and advice to learn how to knock it out of the park.

Photo by Kurt Boomer

In This Article

Most people would agree that public speaking isn't easy, and this is especially true when you're feeling the added pressure that comes along with giving a speech at a loved one's wedding. Not only do you have the attention of dozens (if not hundreds!) of guests you probably don't know, but you're also trying to appeal to a group of people in a wide range of ages from all different phases of the couple's lives. What's more, you want your speech to delight the couple of the hour and be as appealing to your group of friends as it to the newlyweds' grandparents. All in all, it's a tough task.

Before you panic, know that we're here to help. Ahead, we're sharing a comprehensive guide on what you should include in your speech , how to nail your delivery, and questions to consider to get the brainstorming process started—all from noteworthy speakers, well-established speechwriters, and wedding planners (who have seen it all).

Wedding Speech Template

Every great wedding speech has one thing in common: the right flow. Factor in these guidelines to help you find your own organic rhythm.

Open With a Statement or Question

Don't lead with a joke or a reference to how nervous you are. "The goal is to engage your audience, not make it a boring one-way message," says award-winning motivational speaker Jaime Pfeffer . "You'll lose them if you do this."

Introduce Yourself

After your opener, introduce yourself, says Fallon Carter , a wedding planner, even designer, and professional speaker. "A lot of times, people don't know who is speaking, and they don't know their relationship to the bride or the groom," she says. "It's really important to identify yourself, so make sure you've prepared something."

Address Your Audience

As speaker and life strategy coach Mark Black, CSP , points out, focusing on yourself only enhances nerves. "Instead, concentrate on your audience and how you want them to feel. This will help you to speak from the heart, allowing your speech to do what it's supposed to do: Make the couple feel special while also engaging the audience."

Focus on a Few Points

Seasoned speaker Susan Bender Phelps, CEO of Odyssey Mentoring & Leadership , says her top guideline is to select one to three aspects of the newlyweds that you love and appreciate, along with no more than three short stories to illustrate each of these points (or that one point). "The simple, succinct story or stories where the bride and groom are the hero will work best." This is an excellent way to structure your speech and keep your message focused.

How Long Wedding Speeches Should Be

The ideal length for a speech is three to five minutes, with five minutes being the absolute maximum you should speak for. That's it. "I’ve never been to a wedding where anyone said, 'That was a great wedding, but the best man speech was just too short and that  ruined  it,'" says David Litt , the speechwriter for former President Barack Obama and author of Thanks, Obama .

Carter agrees: "I always say anywhere between two and five minutes—and no more than five minutes," she says. "You want to keep things short and sweet." It's just as important to keep in mind when the speech will take place when determining length, since toasts are often timed with meal courses: "Be mindful of how long a course generally takes or how long it takes people to eat," Carter adds, noting that most courses last between 15 and 20 minutes and that several speeches have to fit inside each window. "If there are other people speaking, you want to be mindful and give them space."

Wedding Speech Tips

Now that you've established the right framework for your words, take note of these essential tips for acing the delivery from a few speaking pros.

Rehearse Regularly

The better prepared you are, the more confident you'll be and the better your speech will be, says author and professional speaker Barry Maher . A good rule of thumb is to practice the speech enough that you can remember the points you want to make and the order in which you want to make them. That way, you can look out to the crowd and make eye contact every so often.

Record Yourself Practicing

Use your phone to take a video of yourself practicing, suggests Kate Kenfield , speaker and sex educator. "It can be a little uncomfortable to watch yourself, but you'll be able to identify distracting mannerisms, such as the verbal pauses 'um,' 'uh,' and 'like'." It's also a good idea to practice your speech in front of someone else. "A second opinion can help you craft your piece and make it that much stronger," she says.

Don't forget body language! Rehearse the speech in front of a mirror and notice things like your facial expression, eye contact, and hand position.

Avoid Alcohol

Although it may be tempting to look for some liquid courage, alcohol definitely won't do you any favors, warns keynote speaker Amy Morin , author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do . "It may cause you to slur your speech and forget your lines, so wait until after your toast to celebrate," she advises. If you need a drink to loosen up the nerves or can't refrain from participating in a toast without being rude, stick to one glass of Champagne before you address the crowd.

Use Nerves to Your Advantage

A little nervousness can actually liven up your speech. "I get worried if I'm not a little nervous," says Maher. "I'll actually try to make myself a little tense to get my energy level up." The key is to harness that energy and communicate it in a positive, genuine way; tensing up to the point that you forget your words or panic won't make for a great presentation.

Be Yourself

Keep in mind that you're not putting on a show, only sharing your personal perspective. Trying too hard to force the funny can yield the opposite of the desired effect, cautions Matt Dalley, co-founder of Simply Eloped . "I've noticed that keeping it short and sweet, heartfelt and warm, and coming across as authentic and focused on the couple is something we are all capable of and generates some very wonderful moments," he says.

Never Embarrass the Newlyweds

It's a wedding toast, not a roast. While this should go without saying, keep the bachelor or bachelorette party jokes out of it, and remember that grandma and possibly a few colleagues are in the audience, notes Laurie Battaglia , a keynote speaker and workplace strategist. "It's okay to look back at childhood and refer to something funny, but ask yourself if you'd like 200-plus of your closest friends knowing that story about you."

Use Your Notes

Reading your speech straight from a piece of paper is a big no-no. However, having a couple of note cards handy is encouraged. "You're likely to be nervous, excited, and exhausted, which can make you forget your lines," explains Morin. "The audience won't care if you glance at your notes. In fact, there's a good chance they won't even notice."

Wedding Speech Brainstorm Ideas

Need some inspiration? Ask yourself these questions to get the brainstorming process going.

• Who will speak before you? After you? How will this affect the content of your toast? (Perhaps you want to include a reference to their speech, thank them for an introduction, or introduce the next speaker).
• Is there someone you should thank for making the event possible and inviting you to speak?
• What would you want to hear in this speech if you were in the audience?
• Is there a favorite story or memory that the couple would want you to share with their friends and family?

Wedding Speech Examples to Make Your Own

So, what does it look like when all these elements come together? Wedding vow and speechwriter Katelyn Peterson , owner and creator of Wedding Words , offered us three examples of successful toasts to inspire your own.

Maid of Honor Wedding Speech Example

"Hi, I’m Maya, the bride’s older sister . With Lucy being three years younger, we fell right into our respective roles as sister-rivals growing up. We constantly fought over stolen clothes, monopolizing the phone back when landlines were a thing, and what boy band to blare from the car speakers. I’m still Team Backstreet Boys while Lucy is forever indebted to NSYNC.

Looking back on those memories, I should have stepped up and granted Lucy permission to wear my favorite sweater for picture day, to hand her the phone once in a while, and to let her play, 'Bye Bye Bye.' Even I can admit that’s a good one. But despite Lucy being the younger sister, she has always been more patient, more accommodating, and more thoughtful than me. And that’s because when it comes to the people she loves, she’s all in.

She’s the one to prioritize their desires. She’s the one to compromise first. And, she’s the one to support their dreams as if they were her own. 

This is why it makes me so happy to know that Lucy has found a home in David. He matches her in compassion, thoughtfulness, and warmth. And I know he’ll spend his life prioritizing her desires, being ready to compromise, and supporting her dreams as his own.

Cheers to Lucy and David! May you always feel loved because you always put each other first."

Best Man Wedding Speech Example

"Hello, everyone. My name is Luke and I’m the best man . I met Robert eight years ago when I became his neighbor. His reputation preceded him as I had heard about the 'Block Party King' before my closing papers were inked. 

Rob has never been the guy to wear fancy clothes. In fact, I’m still in shock seeing him in that tux tonight. And he’s never been the guy to show off even though the work he’s put into his vintage Mustang could make Henry Ford himself envious.

But when it comes to cooking, he should receive an award. His pulled pork is a staple at our summer block parties and his homemade barbeque sauce has remained our neighborhood’s best-kept secret. But the most satisfying part about his delicious dishes is that there’s always plenty to go around. And Rob makes sure your plate is never empty. I have no idea how he pulls it off, but Rob has a covert ability to scoop seconds onto your plate without you ever seeing him do it. I hope you all came hungry tonight, folks. You’ve been warned! 

The first time I met Jasmine I could immediately tell she was an amazing person. She laughed at his jokes which I never thought anyone would get. She supported his career and the nonstop travel involved. But most importantly, whenever we’re all hanging out, Jasmine is the one always topping off Rob’s plate with more pasta, more chicken, more of everything. When she’s around, it’s never empty. 

And that’s when I saw what a perfect match they were for each other. I know they will always put each other first, make sure their needs are met, and will never allow the other to go hungry.

So let’s raise our glasses to toast the newlyweds! As you begin this next chapter together, may your plates and your hearts always remain full."

Father of the Bride Wedding Speech Example

"Good evening, family, and friends. I’m Daniel Lee, the father of the bride. I’d like to welcome you to this special occasion where we get to celebrate the love between my daughter Allison and her new wife, Kristin. 

Standing up here today, I’m reminded of all the moments that led to this significant one. The dance recitals that ended with standing ovations and the soccer games that concluded with winning scoreboards. 

But, while those were fun and rewarding times, those aren’t the moments I cherish most with Allison. The memories that make me smile the brightest are those in-between the big stuff moments. It’s the makeshift magic shows in our living room using a bedsheet that Allison confiscated from our linen closet to convert into a curtain. It’s the countless tea parties she hosted with exclusive invitations just for me and her beloved stuffed bear, Buttons. And it’s the way she’d beg to stay up for just five more minutes but was asleep on the couch by minute number two.

Those everyday, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments with Allison are the ones that gave color to my life and filled my heart with a happiness I never knew could exist.

So, my beautiful daughter, as you begin your life with Kristin today, I have one wish for you: May your warmest memories come from the ordinary moments throughout your marriage, and may those moments give you a reason to smile brighter every day. Cheers! I love you both." —Daniel

What Not to Say in a Wedding Speech

Your job when delivering a wedding speech is to keep things light—tell an anecdote, make an emotional connection, then wish the couple well before you close out. Anything that doesn't feel definitively positive should be avoided. "I would advocate against bringing up negative details, specifically past relationships or past spouses," says Carter. "Skip anything that you wouldn't want to be physically recorded and played over and over again—this is a rule of thumb."

Keep it light, delicate, and present- and future-focused, Carter adds. "If you're going to go into the past, make those stories really intentional," she says. "Bring those stories back to who they are now. Your mission is to create a great environment and vibe and to potentially give some information about one of the newlyweds, so that it's enlightening for all guests."

A Guide to Wedding Reception Toasts

Who Gives a Speech at a Wedding Reception?

How to Write a Wedding Toast

Tips for the Father of the Bride Speech

How to Write a Best Man Toast

Advice for the Maid of Honor Speech

What to Know About a Newlywed Toast

Public Speaking Experts' Wedding Speech Tips

60 Quotes to Use for Your Wedding Toast

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How To Write a Great Groom’s Speech

Welcome back to Groom's Week on Bridal Musings.

This week we're giving brides a few days off and letting the guys take over!

We've been talking Groom's Attire 101 , how to be the best, best man ever , and schooling you in traditions of the Groom's Cake .

And now it's time to discuss perhaps the most daunting prospect of your wedding day, The Groom's Speech.

Photo by  Lucida Photography  via Style Me Pretty

Making a speech or a toast on your wedding day is a bit of a juggling act.

The Best Man gets to bring the joke book and the father of the bride (hopefully) welcomes you to the family, and gushes about his little girl. But for your speech, you need to do all of the above, as well as thanking your guests and sharing your love story.

No big deal.

Photo by  McKinley Rodgers Photography  via Bridal Musings

Remembering all you've got to say, and delivering it with panache is a tough job, but luckily, we've enlisted one of the most debonair gents in the wedding industry to help.

Bruce Russell is a luxury wedding planner (who has shared his insightful tips before, on the blog ). Along with creating beautiful and sensational events , he has also launched The Bridal Room , a go-to inspiration site for discerning brides and grooms.

As part of The Bridal Room experience, Bruce often takes grooms out for the day, coaching them in the ways of fine tailoring, wine tasting, and speech making.

So, who better to help you (or your other half) prepare the perfect speech? Take it away Mr Russell…

10 Expert Tips For Writing a Great Groom's Speech

Photo by  Brandon Kidd Photography  via Style Me Pretty

It’s no secret that the key to a successful speech is in the preparation.

While the bride may have planned her part of the big day down to the very last detail, I am afraid, ladies, the groom’s speech is one thing that has to be left to the chaps.

For most grooms, this may well be their first experience of public speaking and being faced with a sea of familiar faces can actually make the task all-the-more daunting.

Try to be as supportive as you can – they’ll doubtless be fretting so if in doubt and if you’re keen to offer some counsel, why not wave these top tips under their nose…

Photo by  Anne-Marie Bouchard  via Style Me Pretty

1. Manners Maketh The Man

Always begin by thanking those who have spoken before you.

Your Father-in-Law is a must (forget him and there may well be dire consequences!) and your Best Man, too. Don’t forget to also thank your beautiful bride and her family and yours too for that matter – all of these people will have offered invaluable and well-meaning support in the run-up to the day.

And where possible, look to mention specific names as it makes for a far more personal and heart-felt speech.

Photo by  DeFiore Photography  via Style Me Pretty

2. Mum’s the Word

Please don’t forget the mothers – they are a cornerstone to the planning process and it’s important to show your gratitude.

On this point, in particular, remember that in your capacity as groom, you are actually speaking for both your new wife and you, so make sure you refer to ‘we’ not ‘I’.

Photo by  Peachey Photography  via Bridal Musings

3. Short and Sweet

The best speeches are simple, short and pithy – ideally under 10 minutes.

Your guests have a fair few speeches to sit through and no one wants to be nursing a glass of warm, flat champagne late into the night!

4. Lighten Up

While a groom’s speech most certainly shouldn’t be treated as a stand- up comedy routine, weddings are jovial affairs and adding some gentle humor and the odd witty comment will certainly make for a good speech.

Plus, once you’ve roused a ripple of laughter or two, you’ll relax a little.

That said, do try to remember this is not the time for ‘inside jokes’, ritual humiliation or laddish humor – it’s a family affair, after all!

Photo by  Connie Miller Of Studio Atticus  via Style Me Pretty

5. Be Sincere

It may not come naturally in front of a room of assembled friends and family, but try to speak from the heart.

This is probably the most important speech you will ever give so please do justice to the gravitas of this big day and remember to tell your bride how much you love her.

Photos by  Ellie Gillard Photography   via Bridal Musings

6. Put the We in Wedding

Don’t forget where you are – this is your wedding day and you are sat alongside your new wife.

Your life together should be the essence of your speech, not sordid tales from your Stag Do or a list of your own life achievements.

Use your speech to recall some of the really special moments of your relationship – the milestones – how you met, as well as some of the little endearing details that spring to mind.

Avoid any content that might embarrass your already blushing bride, though!

7. Presenting the Wedding Party

Don’t forget the gift-giving – flowers for the mothers and, if you haven’t already given gifts, then you’ll need something to thank your Bridesmaids, Ushers and Best Man.

Photo by Rebecca Hoyt Photography via Style Me Pretty

8. Gracious Gracias

When wrapping up your speech revert back to the thank yous – this time to all the family and friends who have assisted throughout the planning process, and your best man for his suppor t.

9. Raise a Glass

And lastly, the toasts – to your bridesmaids and, of course, your new bride.

Photo by  Jez Dickson Photography  via Bridal Musings

10. A Final Note

And if you forget absolutely everything on the day itself – including your notes – just remember to be genuine, honest and cheery.

You are not pitching to the Dragon’s Den, you’re giving thanks to your bride, family and friends for all their help and for sharing such a momentous and happy occasion with you. If you get a laugh, a cry and a cheer then all the better but don’t get too worried about it, gents.

It’s only 10 minutes and then you can let your hair down!

Photo by  Elle&R  via Style Me Pretty

Such wonderful tips, my favourite is “Put the WE in Wedding” – so many grooms turn their toast into another best man speech, so this is a key one to remember.

Thanks so much to Bruce Russell for sharing his insights, visit The Bridal Room for more information on his Groom's Speech Experience .

Have you any more advice for speech giving? Don't forget to leave it in the comments below!

See the rest of our Grooms’ Week Musings here. 

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• groom's speech
• grooms week
• wedding speech

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How to write a Groom’s wedding speech

Nail your nerves and craft a groom’s speech that’ll blow your wedding guests away.

As a groom, what makes the perfect wedding speech? Should you be funny like the best man? Emotional like the maid of honour ? Or pull the heart strings like the father of the bride? Well, the answer is, a little bit of each would be ideal! With some admin thrown in. Unlike many of the other wedding speeches being given on the day, the groom’s speech is basically one big thank you. There’s no set things you should say, no style it has to be written in, or reaction it needs to receive. Essentially, you just have to praise and complement those closest to you for all their hard work ( and money ), while thanking the assembled guests for being there. Easy, right…?

If you’re not used to speaking in public, or you’re unsure of exactly how to lay out your speech, don’t worry. We’ve put together some easy-to-follow tips that’ll help you write the perfect groom speech for your wedding day.

The people you need to thank

As mentioned, the groom’s speech is all about thanking friends and family who were involved in putting the wedding together. Alongside that, it’s nice to also welcome the other side of the family, as well as remembering those who couldn’t be there on the day. Suppliers too, if you feel they played a really significant part in your day being a success, share the ones who deserve a special mention. You never know, it could lead to one of your loved ones hiring your wedding photographer for their big day.

Give your speech structure

It could be tempting to just run head first towards all those thank-yous, desperately trying not to miss anyone out. This approach, although potentially fun to watch, will seem quite chaotic and almost certainly lead to you missing important members of the wedding party out. Instead, organise your thoughts, and create an outline. You don’t need to write your groom’s speech out and follow it word by word on the wedding day. But you should have bullet notes you can (mentally) tick off as you go. Here’s a simple outline that will work for most groom speeches: · Introduce yourself, and say a few words about the day so far. · Welcome everyone, and thank them for coming · Thank specific people involved in the wedding. · Share a personal anecdote or story about your wedding planning journey, or relationship. · Share how you feel about your spouse. · Thank everyone for coming again and let guests know any information the venue has given you. Food or bar times, when certain events will be, that sort of thing. · Raise a toast.

Keep it light, but don’t force humour

We’re not all blessed with a funny bone. If you’re someone who’s never been the joker in the pack, the wisecracker in the group. Don’t force yourself to be one during your groom’s speech, on your wedding day! Your guests know you, they love you, and they want to hear a speech that sounds like it came from you, not Seinfeld. However, if making a joke here and there is part of your personality, by all means, use humour in your speech. But it’s important to strike a balance between laughs and sentiment. Guests should get a sense of how serious you are about the day, and feel your emotions. And they can’t do that if you’re just delivering a stand-up routine. Keep wedding guests interested and engaged in your groom’s speech by bouncing back and forth between playfulness and sentimentality. Jokes, interspersed with more serious, and emotional parts, is the key to a successful groom’s speech.

How long should a Groom’s wedding speech be?

The secret to any good speech is to keep it short and sweet. However humorous, or emotional your groom’s speech is, wedding guests will soon start to nod off if it goes on too long. Likewise, if you only share a couple of words, there’s no way loved ones will get a sense of how you feel about the day, or their contribution. Recite, or practice your groom’s speech ahead of the wedding day, multiple times, so you know how long it is. And remember that nervous energy will potentially take over on the day, speeding up the whole speech , and shaving off 30 seconds from the total time. Another reason why it’s important to practice. Overall, on your wedding day, aim to keep your groom’s speech around 2–3 minutes long. In that time, you should be able to convey just how delighted and thankful you truly are. Without sending any older relatives off to sleep! We hope we have inspired your groom’s speech, and hopefully settled some nerves ahead of the wedding day! It would be a pleasure to guide you further, and introduce you to our lovely wedding venue in Co Kildare. The Abbey is only an hour away from Dublin, and has an 18th century chapel on-site, a stunning ballroom, multiple events spaces and 38 contemporary style rooms. You are welcome to have a browse of our wedding venue online , and if you like what you see, please get in touch via our contact page to book a viewing. And while you wait for your visit, you can find out more about us via our online brochure .

HOW TO WRITE A MEMORABLE GROOM SPEECH

Traditionally, the wedding reception is home to several speeches from the wedding party and the bride and groom’s parents. It’s a time to celebrate the new marriage and share stories of fond memories of the couple. Your groom speech is a chance to share how much you love your bride, but writing the groom’s speech can be daunting for those who haven’t attended several weddings this year to see them in action. Here’s an easy format you can follow to write the perfect groom’s speech for your big day.

WELCOME YOUR GUESTS

Start off your speech by welcoming those who have come to help you celebrate your marriage. Thank them for coming to share this special day with you and your new wife. You can give specific welcomes, but try to stick to the basic categories: friends and family.  Sometimes is may be ideal to start out with a joke to break the ice, have a look at some of our funny examples .

THANK THOSE WHO HELPED

In this section, you’ll want to thank those who have had a significant role in making your wedding a reality. This includes those who funded the wedding (though this doesn’t need to be stated aloud during the speech), parents, supporters, the Best Man, and the Maid of Honor . You can also thank anyone in your life who had a large role in supporting your relationship before your engagement. Is there someone who introduced the two of you? A married couple that mentored you during your relationship? A community that you both belong to that supported your relationship? These people helped make your wedding happen, so take a moment to thank them publicly.

• The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches & Toasts . Our go-to guide.
• Groom’s Speech.  Deliver an amazing Groom wedding speech. Groom speech examples .
• Best Man Speech.  Create an awesome best man speech. Example best man speeches .
• Father of the Bride Speech .  A heartfelt father of bride speech. Example father speeches .
• Sample Toasts & Speech Quotes . One liners, funny quotes, love parables and much more.
• Recent Wedding Speech Posts . Latest blog posts about wedding speeches and toasts.

ADDRESS YOUR WEDDING PARTY

Take a brief moment to thank and acknowledge each groomsman and bridesmaid. Even just calling each one by name and thanking them for helping your big day run smoothly is enough. Everyone likes to be recognized.

FAWN OVER YOUR LADY

At this time, you can look your bride in the eyes and share how much she means to you. This part of the speech can be made very personal, and is intended to make your bride feel loved and adored in front of all of your guests. Remember to include aspects of her physical beauty as well as her character and what makes you love her. You can be sappy or you can remain more formal, but remember not to lean too far in one direction. Too formal, and it won’t feel natural and true. Too sappy, and everyone will be rolling their eyes by the end of it, including your bride.

INTRODUCE YOURSELVES AS A MARRIED COUPLE

After you’ve talked about how great your blushing bride is, you have the chance to tell everyone present what you are as a couple. You can share a meaningful or funny story, describe how you met, and talk about how she has changed your life since meeting her. You can talk about how you look forward to growing with her over the years, or share a value the two of you intend to base your lives on. If you share a religious affiliation, this is a good time to bring that up if you intend to make it the basis of your shared life. This is the first time you get to introduce yourselves as a married couple, so think about how you want to represent your new marriage to your guests.

FAWN OVER YOUR LADY…AGAIN

You’ll want to end your speech by talking once more about how much you love your bride. This is the day to celebrate how much you love her, so take every opportunity to do that! You don’t need to drag the speech on, but make sure the last thing you say is about how much you love your wife.

WHAT NOT TO SAY

Almost as important as what you do include in your speech is what you choose to leave out. Obviously, you’ll want to leave out any profanity, but make sure these don’t make it into your final speech either:

Delivery Tips

• Over-used cliches. Unless it’s one that really speaks to your relationship, try to keep it original.
• Excessive thank-yous. Thank the important figures in your relationship, but it’s not necessary to thank every person who helped with the wedding in a small way.
• Innuendos or sexual remarks. This should go without saying, but keep it PG for the sake of your bride’s conservative grandmother.

Even the most experienced public speaker can get flustered at the thought of speaking at his own wedding, so it’s normal to feel nervous about the speech. Keep these points in mind to make sure your speech is well-received and natural:

• Practice, practice, practice. The more you go over your speech beforehand, the more comfortable it will be to give it. You don’t need to feel pressured to memorize it, but make sure you can give the whole speech without reading straight from your notes
• Look your bride in the eye. Don’t stare her down the whole time you speak, but you should make intentional eye contact while you’re talking about how much you love her.
• Use tasteful humor to keep a lighter mood. Sharing a funny story or telling a short joke can put your guests at ease and make the whole speech feel more conversational.
• Keep it brief. Choose your words carefully and intentionally to avoid dragging on your speech. A short but meaningful speech is easier to deliver than a long speech that is full of verbal fluff.

Most importantly, remember that the speech you give at your wedding won’t be the only thing people remember. As long as your bride can tell that you love her from your speech, nothing else matters.

How to Write a Wedding Speech (with Examples)

by Ryan Hart | Updated on September 22, 2023 | Post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Writing a wedding speech can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if you’ve never given one before. You want to make sure you honor the couple, entertain the guests, and avoid any embarrassing mishaps.

But don’t worry, with a little guidance , you can write a memorable wedding speech that will leave everyone feeling touched and inspired.

In this article, we’ll provide you with a step-by-step guide on how to write a wedding speech, along with examples to help you get started.

Whether you’re the best man, maid of honor, or a close friend or family member, we’ve got you covered. We’ll cover everything from how to structure your speech, to what to include, and even tips on how to deliver it with confidence.

What is a Wedding Speech?

A wedding speech is a way for family members and friends to honor the newly married couple, share their thoughts and memories, and wish them a happy future together.

It is a chance to express your gratitude for being part of their special day and to thank them for inviting you to share in their joy.

Wedding speeches are typically given at the rehearsal dinner , the day before the wedding, and toward the end of the reception dinner on the wedding day.

The best wedding speeches are heartfelt, sincere, and personal. They should reflect your relationship with the couple and your feelings towards them. A good wedding speech should be short, sweet, and to the point. It should not be too long, as it may become boring and lose the attention of the audience.

Knowing Your Role

When it comes to writing a wedding speech, it’s important to know your role in the wedding party. Here are some tips on how to approach writing your speech depending on your role:

Father of the Bride’s Speech

As the father of the bride , your speech should be heartfelt and emotional. Share stories about your daughter and the joy she has brought into your life. Welcome the groom into your family and express your love and support for the newlyweds.

Maid of Honor’s Speech

As the maid of honor, your speech should focus on the bride and your relationship with her. Share some funny stories or heartfelt moments that highlight her best qualities. Be sure to also thank the groom and his family for welcoming you into their lives.

Best Man’s Speech

As the best man, your speech should focus on the groom and your relationship with him. Share some funny anecdotes or stories that highlight his best qualities. Be sure to also thank the bride and her family for welcoming you into their lives.

Mother of the Bride’s Speech

As the mother of the bride, your speech should be heartfelt and emotional. Share stories about your daughter and the joy she has brought into your life. Welcome the groom into your family and express your love and support for the newlyweds.

Father of the Groom’s Speech

As the father of the groom, your speech should focus on the groom and your relationship with him. Share some funny anecdotes or stories that highlight his best qualities. Be sure to also thank the bride and her family for welcoming you into their lives.

Mother of the Groom’s Speech

As the mother of the groom, your speech should be heartfelt and emotional. Share stories about your son and the joy he has brought into your life. Welcome the bride into your family and express your love and support for the newlyweds.

Structuring Your Speech

When it comes to giving a wedding speech, structuring it properly is key. This will help you stay on track and deliver a memorable speech that hits all the right notes. Here are some tips on how to structure your wedding speech:

The opening of your speech is crucial as it sets the tone for the rest of your speech. Start by introducing yourself and your relationship to the couple. You can also thank the couple for inviting you to be a part of their special day.

If you’re nervous, it’s okay to start with a joke or a light-hearted anecdote to break the ice. Just make sure it’s appropriate for the occasion and doesn’t offend anyone.

The body of your speech is where you can share your thoughts and feelings about the couple. This is where you can tell a story or anecdote about the couple that highlights their love for each other.

You can also offer some words of wisdom or advice for the couple as they embark on this new journey together. This can be a great opportunity to share a quote or a poem that resonates with you.

The closing of your speech should be short and sweet. You can end with a final thought or sentiment about the couple and their future together. You can also thank the couple and their families for including you in their special day.

If you’re giving a toast , make sure to raise your glass and offer a heartfelt congratulations to the couple.

Example Wedding Speeches

Maid of honor speech example:.

Hello, everyone! I’m beyond thrilled to be here today as the Maid of Honor for these two incredible people. You know, when [Bride’s Name] asked me to be her Maid of Honor, my first thought was, ‘Does she really know me? Is she sure about this?’ But here I am, and I couldn’t be happier!

[Bride’s Name] and I have shared so many laughs, tears, and unforgettable moments over the years. We’ve been through thick and thin together. And when she introduced us to [Groom’s Name], it was like the missing piece of the puzzle just clicked into place.

Now, [Groom’s Name], I have to say, you’ve really brought out the best in [Bride’s Name]. You’ve filled her life with so much love, laughter, and joy. And I can’t thank you enough for that.

To the newlyweds, may your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day. May your journey together be filled with adventure, kindness, and endless inside jokes that only you two understand. And may your love story be as beautiful and inspiring as the two of you are.

So let’s raise our glasses to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], to love, laughter, and a lifetime of happiness! Cheers!"

Best Man Speech Example:

Hey, everyone, I’m honored to be up here as the Best Man for this fantastic couple. Now, when [Groom’s Name] asked me to be his Best Man, I was like, ‘Really? Me?’ But then I remembered all the adventures, mishaps, and laughter we’ve shared over the years, and I thought, ‘Yep, I’m the guy for this job!’

[Groom’s Name] and [Bride’s Name], you two are a perfect match. I’ve watched your love story unfold, and it’s been a privilege to witness the love and respect you have for each other.

[Groom’s Name], you’ve always been there for me through thick and thin, and I have no doubt you’ll be there for [Bride’s Name] in the same way. And [Bride’s Name], you’re not just gaining a husband today, you’re gaining the best partner in crime you could ever ask for.

So, here’s to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], to a lifetime of adventure, love, and laughter. May your journey together be filled with joy, shared secrets, and lots and lots of dancing. Cheers!"

Best Friend Speech Example:

“Hello, everyone! Wow, what a beautiful day to celebrate the love between [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name]. I’m not the Maid of Honor or the Best Man, but I am a close friend, and I’ve been lucky enough to witness the magic of their love story from the beginning.

[Bride’s Name], we’ve been through so much together – from school crushes to college shenanigans. And when you introduced me to [Groom’s Name], I knew he was something special. He brings out the best in you, and together, you make an incredible team.

[Groom’s Name], you’re not just gaining a wife today; you’re gaining an amazing friend and confidant in [Bride’s Name]. You two complement each other in the most beautiful ways.

So, here’s to [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], to a love that’s as strong as it is genuine. May your journey together be filled with laughter, support, and all the adventures you can dream of. Cheers!”

Family Member Speech Example:

Good evening, everyone! My name is [Your Name], and I am [Your relation to the bride and groom]. I’m thrilled to be here tonight to celebrate the love and commitment of [Couple’s names].

When they asked me to give a speech tonight, I was a little nervous. I mean, what do you say about two people who are so perfect for each other? But then I remembered something that [Bride’s name] once told me: “ Love isn’t about being perfect , it’s about being perfectly imperfect together.”

And that’s exactly what these two are. They’re imperfect in all the right ways, and that’s what makes them so perfect for each other. So here’s to [Couple’s names], two imperfect people who are perfect for each other. Congratulations, you two!

Close Friend Speech Example:

Hello, everyone! My name is [Your Name], and I am [Your relation to the bride and groom]. I’m honored to be here tonight to celebrate the wedding of [Couple’s names].

When I first met [Bride’s name], I knew she was something special. And when she introduced me to [groom’s name], I knew he was the one for her. These two have been through thick and thin together, and they’ve always come out stronger on the other side.

And that’s what love is all about, isn’t it? It’s about being there for each other through the good times and the bad. So here’s to [Couple’s names], a couple who knows that love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a commitment.

Incorporating Personal Touches

When it comes to giving a wedding speech, it’s important to make it personal and meaningful. After all, you’re speaking in front of the couple’s nearest and dearest, and you want to make sure that your words come straight from the heart.

One way to do this is to incorporate personal touches into your speech. This can be anything from a funny story about the couple to a heartfelt message about your own relationship with them.

When choosing what to include in your speech, think about what makes the couple special. What are their unique qualities and what do you love about them? What are some of the key moments in their relationship that have brought them to this point?

Once you have some ideas, consider how you can weave them into your speech in a way that feels natural and authentic. Here are a few tips to get you started:

• Keep it short and sweet: While it can be tempting to go on and on about how much you love the couple, it’s important to keep your speech concise. Aim for around 3-5 minutes, and focus on the most meaningful moments and messages.
• Use specific examples: Instead of making general statements about the couple, try to use specific examples that illustrate their qualities and personalities. This will make your speech more engaging and memorable.
• Get personal: Don’t be afraid to share your own experiences and feelings about the couple. Whether it’s a funny story about how you first met or a heartfelt message about what they mean to you, your personal touch will make your speech more meaningful.
• Practice, practice, practice: Finally, make sure to practice your speech ahead of time. This will help you feel more confident and comfortable on the day, and ensure that your words come across as genuine and heartfelt.

Addressing the Audience

When it comes to giving a wedding speech, one of the most important things to keep in mind is your audience. After all, you are speaking to a room full of people who are there to celebrate the happy couple, so it’s important to make sure your speech is engaging, entertaining, and appropriate for the occasion.

First and foremost, you want to make sure your speech is inclusive of everyone in the audience.

While you may have a close relationship with the bride or groom, it’s important to remember that there are likely guests in attendance who may not know you or the couple as well. Make sure to introduce yourself and provide some context for your relationship with the couple.

It’s also important to consider the tone of your speech. While it’s okay to inject some humor and lightheartedness into your speech, you want to make sure it’s appropriate for the occasion.

Avoid making any jokes or comments that could be perceived as offensive or inappropriate.

If you’re addressing parents or family members in your speech, make sure to acknowledge their role in the couple’s lives and express your gratitude for their support.

Similarly, if you’re speaking as the best friend of the bride or groom, take some time to reflect on your friendship and share some heartfelt memories or anecdotes.

Keep in mind that you’re speaking to a room full of people who are there to celebrate the happy couple, so make sure your speech is a reflection of that joy and excitement.

Delivering the Speech

Now that you’ve written your wedding speech, it’s time to deliver it. Public speaking can be nerve-wracking, but with a little preparation, you’ll be able to deliver your speech with confidence. Here are some tips to help you deliver your speech like a pro:

• Practice, practice, practice. Rehearsing your speech will help you feel more comfortable with the material and reduce your nervousness. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend to get feedback on your delivery.
• Take deep breaths. If you feel nervous before your speech, take a few deep breaths to calm your nerves. This will help you relax and deliver your speech more effectively.
• Speak slowly and clearly. When you’re nervous, it’s easy to speak too quickly or mumble your words. Make a conscious effort to speak slowly and clearly so that everyone can hear you.
• Make eye contact. Look at your audience as you deliver your speech. This will help you connect with them and keep their attention.
• Use body language. Gesturing and moving around can help you convey your message more effectively. Just be sure to avoid any distracting movements.
• Don’t be afraid to pause. If you need a moment to collect your thoughts or take a breath, don’t be afraid to pause. This will help you deliver your speech more effectively and give your audience time to absorb your message.

With a little preparation and practice, you’ll be able to deliver a wedding speech that will be remembered for years to come.

Dealing with Nervousness

It’s completely normal to experience nervousness when giving a wedding speech. After all, you want to do your best and make a positive impact on the happy couple and their guests. Here are a few tips to help you manage your nerves and deliver a memorable speech:

• Practice, practice, practice : The more you practice your speech, the more comfortable you’ll feel delivering it. Practice in front of a mirror, with friends or family, or even record yourself and listen back to it.
• Focus on the positive : Instead of dwelling on your nerves, focus on the positive aspects of the experience. You have the opportunity to share your love and well-wishes with the couple, and that’s something to be proud of.
• Breathe deeply : Deep breathing can help calm your nerves and give you the energy you need to deliver your speech. Take a few deep breaths before you begin, and continue to breathe deeply throughout your speech.
• Visualize success : Visualize yourself delivering a successful speech. Imagine the audience laughing at your jokes, nodding in agreement with your sentiments, and giving you a standing ovation at the end.
• Project confidence : Even if you don’t feel confident, projecting confidence through your body language can help you appear more confident to your audience. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and speak clearly and slowly.

By following these tips, you can overcome your nervousness and deliver a wedding speech that you and the happy couple will remember for years to come.

Tips for a Memorable Speech

Writing a wedding speech can be intimidating, but with the right tips and tricks, you can deliver a memorable speech that will leave a lasting impression on the newlyweds and guests. Here are some tips to help you get started:

Tell the Couple’s Story

The most memorable speeches are the ones that tell a story. Start by brainstorming some memories or anecdotes about the couple that you can weave into your speech.

Think about the moments that defined their relationship, the challenges they’ve overcome, and the things that make them unique. By sharing these details with the audience, you’ll create a speech that feels personal and heartfelt.

Keep it Short and Sweet

While it’s tempting to share every detail about the couple, it’s important to keep your speech short and sweet. Aim for a speech that’s no longer than five minutes. This will give you enough time to share your message without losing the audience’s attention.

Practice Makes Perfect

The key to delivering a great speech is practice. Start by writing down your speech and then practice delivering it in front of a mirror or with a friend. This will help you get comfortable with the material and ensure that you’re able to deliver it confidently on the big day.

Focus on Friendship and Happiness

Weddings are all about celebrating love, friendship, and happiness. Make sure your speech reflects these themes by focusing on the positive aspects of the couple’s relationship.

Share stories that highlight their love for each other, their friendship, and the happiness they bring to each other’s lives.

Use Humor Wisely

Humor can be a great way to lighten the mood and engage the audience, but use it wisely. Make sure your jokes are appropriate for the occasion and that they don’t overshadow the message of your speech. Remember, the goal is to celebrate the couple and their love, not to steal the show.

Now that you’ve learned the basics of writing a wedding speech, it’s a good idea to read some real speeches to see how it all comes together.

Look for examples of speeches online or in books. Watching or reading other people’s speeches can give you inspiration and a better understanding of how to make your speech unique and special.

You might also want to check out books or articles about public speaking and storytelling, as they can help you improve your delivery and engagement skills.

And remember, it’s always a good idea to review some tips on wedding etiquette to make sure your speech is respectful and fitting for the occasion.

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How to Write the Best Father of the Groom Speech

• Christin specializes in writing gift guides and shoppable articles for The Knot.
• Christin is a freelance writer, also covering lifestyle, health, and parenting.
• She has written for such publications as The Bump, Parents, VeryWell, Parade and LittleThings.

If you're the father of the groom, you've likely been there for everything from your son's first diaper change and scraped knee to the blossoming relationship he's built with his partner. Now, they've decided to tie the knot, and he's asked you to give a father of the groom speech.

This is a great honor, and a good opportunity for you to share your innermost feelings with the couple about their future together. You're a big part of their wedding day, so guests will want to hear what's on your mind.

If the wedding will follow a traditional format , you'll probably give your speech at the rehearsal dinner, since the groom's family traditionally hosts that event . You might also give your speech at the wedding reception, likely before the best man speech .

How Long Should a Father of the Groom Speech Be?

In order to keep guests engaged during your wedding speech, brevity is key. Aim to speak for no more than 4 to 6 minutes, or less if possible. Expect that there will be some overlap between speeches (like thanking guests for coming). Use funny or touching stories about your son's childhood in order to make your speech stand out.

How to Write a Father of the Groom Speech

Your son's wedding day is a very personal day for your family—you'll share lots of tender moments together as you look back over your son's life before he met and chose to marry his partner. So the best advice when it comes to how to write a father of the groom speech is simply to write from your heart. You know your son better than just about anyone, so there's no need to worry about saying the wrong thing. Even if you and your son have had a rocky relationship in the past, remember that he's still asked you to share in his big day, so he wants to hear what you have to say.

A Father of the Groom Speech Template

Looking for some father of the groom speech examples? We've got a few that just might give you the inspiration you need in order to finish writing your wedding toast for the happy couple .

Traditional: Welcome! My name is [name] and I'm [son's name]'s father. I'd like to start by welcoming each and every one of you, and to say thank you for sharing in this most special day. From the first time I saw my son with [partner's name], I knew they shared something very special.

I know that because [reason]. I'm reminded of all the times my son [did this or that] as a child, and how much I hoped he would grow up to find the perfect partner. And in [partner's name], I see that perfect partner.

So today, I'm welcoming [partner] into our family with open arms. I'm truly excited for what the future holds for you, son, and for your [lovely wife/handsome husband/wonderful spouse]. I know you two will share a happy life together.

Brief: Thank you everyone for coming today. [Son], I love you with all of my heart, and always will. You've turned into a fine young man, and seeing you so happy with [partner's name] makes this day perfect. I wish you many happy days ahead, no matter where life takes you. Sentimental: Hello, and thank you for coming. It means so much that each and every one of you has come to share in [son's] special day today, and I only wish that [relative who died] could be here as well. [Son], seeing you with your [new wife/husband/spouse] is nothing short of heartwarming. I wish you both the best of everything in your new life together.

Find your kind of venue

Who does the father of the groom thank in his speech.

When it comes to doling out your appreciation to different people in your father of the groom toast, it's customary to thank your son's new spouse's parents and family members, especially if they've traveled a long way to attend the celebration. Then, thank your new daughter or son for making your child so very happy. After that, it's really up to you who you'd like to thank.

How to Give a Father of the Groom Speech

Public speaking isn't typically a favorite pastime, so don't feel like you're alone if it isn't yours. But it's an honor to be part of this special moment, so if you're asked to share some words of wisdom for your son and your future son-in-law or daughter-in-law, of course you want to crush it.

Below, we've included some guidance in the form of some father of the groom speech examples, as well as some clever jokes you can incorporate into your toast.

Father of the Groom Speech Examples

It's finally time for your important speech. Just relax, take a deep breath and talk about some of the memorable moments you've shared with your son. Then, welcome your new daughter or son and close your speech with some meaningful words of wisdom or advice for the new couple.

[Couple's names], while you have loved and cared for one another for a long time, today makes it official: You are now a married couple. I give you all of my congratulations and I hope you feel the outpouring of love and support for the both of you that is in this room today.

[Couple's names], separately you are two wonderful people, but together, you are even better. You finish each other's sentences and can communicate without saying a word. You know how to make each other laugh and smile, and you know how to comfort each other as well. You are two peas in a pod—there is no question at all that you were always meant to be together. I have so much love and respect for the two of you, for the lengths that you would go to in order to make each other happy. Never lose what you two have, because it's priceless. Let us all raise a glass to the wonderful couple, my son [groom] and his spouse [spouse's name].

It's official, [couple's names] are now newlyweds. What does this mean, exactly? Well for starters, you are family now. You have your parents, siblings and friends, but at the end of the day, you must come first for each other. From this point forward, you will be inseparable. You are not just living side by side—now you will be living as one team, a unit that will make important decisions and meaningful memories together. Remember to be kind to each other. Be patient and understanding. Don't forget to communicate, to laugh and to love each other. Do these things and you will have a great recipe for a happy, long and successful marriage .

As [groom's] father, I have always made it a point to let him know how loved and appreciated he is. He knows how much he means to me and how important he is in my life. So I thought that I would take this opportunity to instead sing my praises for my newly coined [daughter-in-law or son-in-law]. [Son's spouse's name], you are such a wonderful person, and I'm so glad my son found a partner in you. As of today, you are officially my [daughter or son].

Father of the Groom Speech Jokes

"The couple has requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me. Thanks for listening!"

"[Son's name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

"I was trying to figure out the perfect wedding gift for you, and it's this speech."

"Gosh, what an emotional day it's been. Even the cake is in tiers."

"The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and after already turning them down three times, I decided I couldn't refuse again."

"I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."

"Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [son's name]."

What NOT to Say in a Father of the Groom Speech

Although you can craft your father of the groom speech any way you'd like, there are some things you should avoid saying: Don't tell embarrassing or hurtful stories about your son.

Don't make negative or cynical comments about your new daughter or son; Focus only on the positive.

Don't over-imbibe before delivering your toast. This could derail your speech and cause you to say things you didn't intend to say.

Don't make inappropriate or off-color jokes. You don't want to offend anyone during your speech.

How to End the Father of the Groom Speech

It's up to you how you'd like to end your speech. You can share advice, speak loving words or end with a joke. As you wrap up your speech in front of the microphone, a brief and meaningful introduction to the next speaker in line (if there is one) is always appropriate.

Good luck, pops! You got this.

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Fallout’s bloody wedding continues one of fiction’s longest-running tropes

Weddings have gone dangerously wrong throughout the history of storytelling, from the Bible to Kill Bill

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The Fallout TV show isn’t particularly beautiful – at least, not like a bride is supposed to be. Its characters spend most of their time trudging through the irradiated grime of derelict California, avoiding pools of who-knows-what and drinking animal piss if they really need to. It’s a tough reality to witness, but that’s what makes the Prime Video game adaptation ’s violent first episode so critical; its bloodbath wedding welcomes viewers to Fallout’s no-nonsense approach to love and desperation. To do it effectively, Fallout mines the ancient trope for every last perversion.

The concept of a bloody wedding (or Red Wedding , as Game of Thrones popularized in 2013) goes back as far as humans were capable of idiotic passion — so, kind of forever. Jesus tells a parable in Matthew 22 in which heaven is a king throwing a wedding banquet, but those invited decide to kill the king’s servants instead. Even earlier, the Odyssey describes how Odysseus instigated a grisly massacre after a team of suitors attempted to marry the queen of Ithaca, his wife Penelope. “And therewith the head of the arrow through his tender neck thrust out, [...] The thick gush of the man’s-blood, [...] And the bread and the roasted flesh were defiled,” writes poet William Morris in his 1887 translation .

It was only natural for red weddings to make their way into contemporary media. Some of the most recognizable instances are in TV and film, including the aforementioned Game of Thrones , the 2003 revenge drama Kill Bill , Bella’s nightmare in Breaking Dawn , and the 2019 wedding slasher Ready or Not . But whether the cataclysmic wedding occurs in classic literature, a video game like Bloodborne , or famous art like Marc Chagall’s 1950 painting of red-soaked La Mariée , it challenges your expectations for the blushing bride. Fallout protagonist Lucy is at least prepared for this test — she’s spent her whole life learning how to be useful in crisis.

Before her doomed wedding, Lucy establishes herself as a toned and peppy Vault Dweller: the ideal post-apocalyptic woman. She has repair skills, she says, speech skills, gymnastic ability, and has no issue handling a rifle — she’s demure about it, too, disclaiming that she’s “not very good” at shooting despite impaling her Vault Boy target repeatedly in the heart. All that’s missing from Lucy’s life as a resourceful Miss America is a healthy Mr. Reproductive System, and so her Vault 33 council approves her application to breed with a Vault 32 tribute.

33 will provide the purportedly famished 32 with seeds in exchange for a husband, Monty (Cameron Cowperthwaite), at the Triennial Trade; Lucy prepares with red lipstick, pearl drop earrings, and an Audrey Hepburn wedding gown cut below the knees. She nearly perfectly follows Leola Coombs Kelley’s guide on “How to Conduct a Perfect Wedding” from 1957, which instructs a bride to wear satin white, but warns that “the formal wedding gown should just clear the toes to prevent tripping [...] Anything shorter is ugly.” Oh, well; things are different after a nuclear apocalypse.

Most bloodbath weddings aren’t presented as flawless. Kill Bill ’s somber black-and-white opening shot is of The Bride’s big day (Uma Thurman) already ruined, her dress smeared in blood that glues her tulle veil to the floorboards. The first boss fight in gory 2023 zombie game Dead Island 2 is with Becki the Bride , whose mutations have turned her form-fitting wedding dress into grim sausage casing.

But Vault-Tec became so powerful by luring its test subjects with false promises of safety; it convinced people they’d rather eat nuclear-resistant green beans in perpetuity than risk the uncertainty of the real world. Fallout’ s first episode deftly copies this deception by showing us a bit of Lucy’s wedding ceremony, which seems as lovely and interchangeable as any other: the bride and groom kiss under a wedding arch tied with sunflowers, and soon it’s time to enjoy the reception and talk sperm count. “I mean, sperm is pretty important in perpetuating America,” Lucy says at dinner. But trouble starts after she consummates her marriage.

Monty and the rest of Vault 32 are actually surface dwellers planning to take Lucy’s dad, Overseer Hank , hostage for reasons she doesn’t yet understand. In the moment, she can only accept the force of her instinct. She doesn’t stand idly as history recommends her to, a silent “bride of Hades,” as ancient Greeks described unmarried female virgins. Lucky for Lucy, she’s not even a virgin. So when her new husband starts to strangle her, she kicks him in the gut. When he sinks a carving knife into her already bruised abdomen, she uses a cracked blender to scoop out his throat.

A healing stimpak and tranquilizer pistol help her stay alive once she finally leaves her sweetheart behind, to hopefully die alone on the ground. With bullets slung across her chest and dark blood blooming around her stomach, Lucy now looks like Ready or Not ’s Final Bride Grace — goodbye, Audrey Hepburn. Lucy abandons a bride’s stereotypical elegance because she has no other choice.

But, with all of her Vault 33 education, she manages to hold onto some of it. Even disheveled and beaten, Lucy fares better than her wedding party. Fallout protects her with a sense of specialness, her inherent belief in justice and the determination to pursue it. This is, again, unusual for the bloodbath wedding trope. Though Roslin survives her notorious Red Wedding in Game of Thrones , two other wives, Catelyn Stark and Joyeuse Frey, are unceremonious victims of battle. They don’t get to supplant their “wife” status with complex personhood, like Lucy does. The math of their deaths is simple: Catelyn cuts Joyeuse’s pale throat to punish the woman’s husband, and then her own throat is slit, and blood pours out like wine.

Still, Vault 33 sees similar carnage, and worse. Its residents are no match for the surface dwellers’ uninhibited brutality, and, in excruciating, V.A.T.S.-type slow motion combat, we spend the next few minutes watching them get crushed into powder. An infiltrator smooshes a handful of wedding cake into his mouth before someone else starts shooting, and a man’s blood sprays into the air like peaking ocean waves. Another man gets punted across 33’s cornfield like he’s a football. You have only a moment to feel his skeletal pain before a surface dweller shoves an assault rifle into someone else’s mouth. After blasting the back of his skull, the trespasser demolishes a small crowd and innocent jelly mold with brain-stained bullets.

“Remember, there’s a danger in overdoing [wedding parties],” warns Good Housekeeping’s 1957 Complete Wedding Guide. “Gaiety and fun [can turn] into strained nerves and exhaustion.”

But Lucy is the Overseer’s daughter — a leader, then a woman — before she is a wife. The rules for her are slightly different. She can’t fully become Agamemnon’s antihero Clytemnestra, who butchers her husband after he sacrifices their daughter to a god. “How should a woman work, to the utter end,” Clytemnestra says in defiance of an admonishing chorus, “My husband, dead by my right hand, a blow / Struck by a righteous craftsman.”

Fallout doesn’t want Lucy totally veering into traditionally masculine territory the way Clytemnestra does. Lucy, instead, teeters around it (she has a gun, but it’s non-lethal; she’s dirty, but she’s also wearing pure white). She never wholly abandons her ’50s values, which encourage her to be constantly deferential to her father. So there’s panic in her wide doe eyes when she joins the fray, gawking at the spilled blood and devastation, barely reacting to the sparks and bullets flying right over her head. But she collects herself when her family is at risk, popping a tranquilizer into a woman’s eye a second before she can slice apart Norm (Moises Arias), Lucy’s brother, with a machete.

For this small moment, Lucy gets to be an avenging angel, a loose foreshadow of the hardened morality she’ll grow into later in Fallout . But, for now, Lucy lives in a blurry Romeo and Juliet world, so much like the one they experienced after their blighted wedding: “All things that we ordained festival / Turn from their office to black funeral,” remarks Lord Capulet, “Our bridal flowers serve for a buried corpse.”

Lucy seems to be sleepwalking toward the same fate. Her maimed husband approaches her with pieces of his face flapping open like a jacket, but then her dad, Hank, smashes the back of his head. Barefoot Lucy watches quietly as Hank drowns Monty in a barrel, and the last thing she sees on her wedding night is a bomb that trashes the already sparse remains of Vault 33.

And there goes another cursed wedding. Fallout makes it look as nasty as centuries of poets, bards, and Quentin Tarantino have necessitated it to be. But the show also manages to pull new information from it — Lucy’s wedding is at once the start of her tarnishing innocence, as well as the audience’s, and it forces her to demonstrate her competence. Always the survivor, never the bride.

Fallout is streaming on Prime Video.

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