read my essay reddit

Online Proofreader

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Correct your document within 5 minutes

• Proofread on 100+ language issues
• Specialized in academic texts
• Corrections directly in your document

Instantly correct your entire document in minutes

Nobody's perfect all the time—and now, you don’t have to be!

There are times when you just want to write without worrying about every grammar or spelling convention. The online proofreader immediately finds all of your errors. This allows you to concentrate on the bigger picture. You’ll be 100% confident that your writing won’t affect your grade.

What does a proofreader do?

The proofreading process is your last chance to catch any errors in your writing before you submit it. A proofreader makes sure your spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors are reviewed and fixed. This can be done automatically by an AI-powered tool like the one at the top of this page or by a real human. Both options have their advantages, so pick the one that suits you most.

Fix mistakes that slip under your radar

✔ Fix problems with commonly confused words, like affect vs. effect, which vs. that and who vs. that.

✔ Catch words that sound similar but aren’t, like their vs. they’re, your vs. you’re.

✔ Check your punctuation to avoid errors with dashes and hyphens, commas, apostrophes, and more.

✔ Avoid sentence fragments, subject-verb agreement errors, and problems with parallelism.

How does the proofreader work?

The online proofreader.

It’s really straightforward. Just paste the text into the tool. All your errors will now be underlined in red. You can hover over these mistakes to see how they can be addressed. If you agree, just click on the button “Fix all errors,” and your mistakes will be fixed instantly! 

The professional proofreader

Upload your entire document first. Choose the pages you want proofread, the extra services you want to use, and the deadline. Then fill in some key details like your field of study so that we can find you the best proofreader. When you’re done, you pay for your order, and we make sure that your writing is checked by a proofreader. You’ll be contacted when the job is done!

Who should use this proofreader?

Avoid a bad grade and hand in your documents with absolute confidence.

Businesspeople

Look like a pro by writing error-free emails, reports, and more.

Ensure your work is clear and readable to increase the chance that it’ll get published.

Want your whole document checked and corrected in a matter of minutes?

Would you like to upload your entire document and check all your documents for 100+ language issues? Then Scribbr’s AI-powered proofreading is perfect for you.

With AI-powered proofreading, you can correct your text in no time.

• Upload document
• Wait briefly while all errors are corrected directly in your document
• Correct errors with one click

Proofread my document

Fantastic service!!

“Excellent review of a paper that was deciding my grade. I appreciate both the edits and the feedback to increase my knowledge of correct APA formatting and accurate citations. I needed the paper returned quickly, and the team worked hard to make sure I had what I needed. I just got my grade back, A+. I would 100% use this service again, it was worth every penny!!!!!!”

A proofreader for everyone

Don’t let typos and grammar keep you down. make your writing count, ask our team.

Want to contact us directly? No problem.  We  are always here for you.

• Email [email protected]
• Start live chat
• Call +1 (510) 822-8066
• WhatsApp +31 20 261 6040

Frequently asked questions

Our support team is here to help you daily via chat, WhatsApp, email, or phone between 9:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. CET.

Yes! Our personal statement editors can help you reduce your word count by up to 25%. You can choose to receive this feedback through direct edits or suggestions in comments – just select your choice when you upload your personal statement.

Our APA experts default to APA 7 for editing and formatting. For the Citation Editing Service you are able to choose between APA 6 and 7.

It is not necessary to reserve a time slot for your edit. As soon as your document is ready to be proofread, you can upload it at any time via our website . Based on your chosen deadline, our editor(s) will then proofread your document within 24 hours, 3 days, or 7 days.

If you are unsure about the availability of our services or are planning to upload a very large document (>13,000 words) with a 24 hour deadline, we recommend that you contact us beforehand via chat or email .

Scribbr is following the guidelines announced by the WHO (World Health Organization). As an online platform, all our services remain available, and we will continue to help students as usual.

Can I still place an order? Will my order be completed within the deadline? Yes, you can still place orders and orders will be delivered within the agreed upon deadline. Scribbr is an online platform – our proofreading & editing services are provided by editors working remotely from all over the world. This means Scribbr can guarantee that we will process your order with the same diligence and professionalism as always. The same holds true for our Plagiarism Checker .

Can I still contact customer support? Yes. Our support team is available from 09.00 to 23.00 CET and happy to answer any questions you might have!

Yes, if your document is longer than 20,000 words, you will get a sample of approximately 2,000 words. This sample edit gives you a first impression of the editor’s editing style and a chance to ask questions and give feedback.

How does the sample edit work?

You will receive the sample edit within 12 hours after placing your order. You then have 24 hours to let us know if you’re happy with the sample or if there’s something you would like the editor to do differently.

Read more about how the sample edit works

When you upload a large document (20,000+ words), we will ask your editor to send a sample edit of approximately 2,000 words as soon as possible. This sample edit gives you a first impression of your editor’s editing style and what you can expect from the service. You will receive it within 12 hours after uploading your order.

Why do we provide you with a sample edit?

We always aim to make you 100% happy, and Proofreading & Editing is a complex service. We want to make sure that our editing style meets your expectations before the editor improves your entire document.

Our editors are trained to follow Scribbr’s academic style . However, your preferences might deviate from our conventions. The sample edit gives you the chance to provide feedback – you can let us know if you’re happy with the sample or if there’s something you would like the editor to do differently.

Once your editor has completed your sample edit, you will receive a notification via email. You have 24 hours to reply to this email and provide us with feedback. If we receive your feedback in time, your editor will go the extra mile and adjust the edit according to your input.

What sort of feedback can you give?

Give us feedback that will help your editor meet your requirements. For example:

• “I am completely happy. The editor can continue editing like this.”
• “I forgot to mention that my school has the following rules for gendered pronouns.”
• “The editor changed the spelling of a technical term, but my professor spells it differently. Please keep the original spelling of this term.”

The  Structure  and Clarity Check can only be purchased in conjunction with Proofreading & Editing . Providing feedback on structure and clarity requires extensive knowledge of the text, which the editor acquires while proofreading and editing your text.

However, our Paper Formatting Service,   Citation Editing Service and Plagiarism Checker can be purchased separately.

Yes, Scribbr will proofread the summary in another language as well.

Who will proofread my summary?

If your document contains a summary in a different language, we will send this part to another editor who is a native speaker of that language. The editor will check your summary, applying our standard Proofreading & Editing service.

If you ordered any additional services, such as the Structure Check or Clarity Check, the editor will not apply them to your summary. This is because the summary is a translation of your abstract – you already receive Structure and Clarity feedback on the text in the original language. Therefore, when proofreading your summary, the editor will focus on making sure your language and style is correct.

How does it work?

We will create a new assignment within your order and send you a confirmation email. This also means that you will receive a separate email/SMS notification from us when the editor has finished proofreading your summary. Once your summary is proofread, you can download it via your Scribbr account and read the editor’s feedback.

Yes, we can provide a certificate of proofreading.

As soon as the editor delivers the edit, you can email us at [email protected] to request a certificate.

Please indicate the following in your email:

• Your order number
• Your full name
• The title of your work

We will create a PDF certificate and email it to you as soon as possible.

Scribbr specializes in editing study-related documents . We proofread:

• PhD dissertations
• Research proposals
• Personal statements
• Admission essays
• Motivation letters
• Reflection papers
• Journal articles
• Capstone projects

Yes, when you accept all changes and delete all comments your document is ready to be handed in.

How to accept all changes:

• Word for Mac 2011

How to remove all comments:

When you’ve finished this, others will no longer be able to see the changes made by the editor.

• Read your last version one last time to make sure everything is the way you want it.
• Save your document as a .pdf file to come across more professional and to ensure the format of your document doesn’t change.

Yes, in the order process you can indicate your preference for American, British, or Australian English .

If you don’t choose one, your editor will follow the style of English you currently use. If your editor has any questions about this, we will contact you.

Yes, you can upload your thesis in sections.

We try our best to ensure that the same editor checks all the different sections of your thesis. When you upload a new file, our system recognizes you as a returning customer, and we immediately contact the editor who helped you before.

However, we cannot guarantee that the same editor will be available. Your chances are higher if

• You send us your text as soon as possible and
• You can be flexible about the deadline.

Please note that the shorter your deadline is, the bigger the risk that your previous editor is not available.

If your previous editor isn’t available, then we will inform you immediately and look for another qualified editor. Fear not! Every Scribbr editor follows the  Scribbr Improvement Model  and will deliver high-quality work.

However, every editor has a slightly different editing style, so you may notice small inconsistencies in editing choices. As with every proofreading order, be sure to carefully review your editor’s changes and suggestions as you finalize your text to ensure that everything is as you want it.

The fastest turnaround time is 12 hours.

You can upload your document at any time and choose between three deadlines:

At Scribbr, we promise to make every customer 100% happy with the service we offer. Our philosophy: Your complaint is always justified – no denial, no doubts.

Our customer support team is here to find the solution that helps you the most, whether that’s a free new edit or a refund for the service.

Every Scribbr order comes with our award-winning Proofreading & Editing service , which combines two important stages of the revision process.

For a more comprehensive edit, you can add a Structure Check or Clarity Check to your order. With these building blocks, you can customize the kind of feedback you receive.

You might be familiar with a different set of editing terms. To help you understand what you can expect at Scribbr, we created this table:

View an example

Scribbr not only specializes in proofreading and editing texts in English , but also in several other languages . This way, we help out students from all over the world.

As a global academic writing proofreading service, we work with professional editors  – all native speakers – who edit in the following languages :

This way, you can also have your academic writing proofread and edited in your second language!

Please note that we do not offer Finnish proofreading, but students can still upload English papers on scribbr.fi .

Yes, regardless of the deadline you choose, our editors can proofread your document during weekends and holidays.

Example: If you select the 12-hour service on Saturday, you will receive your edited document back within 12 hours on Sunday.

The footnotes are not automatically included in the word count.

If you want the language errors in your footnotes to be corrected by the editor, you can indicate this in step 3 of the upload process . The words in the footnotes are then automatically added to the total word count.

Need help with your references?

• If you use the APA reference style, you can use our free APA Citation Generator or the articles about APA in our Knowledge Base.
• If you’d like us to check your references for consistency, you can use our Citation Editing Service .

To keep our prices competitive, we do not offer a free trial edit. However, if your document is longer than 30,000 words, we are happy to provide you with a sample edit of 2,000 words to ensure you are satisfied with the editor’s editing style.

Rest assured, our customers are very satisfied with our proofreading services. We’re proud that they have rated us with an excellent 4.6 on Trustpilot. In the unlikely event that you have a less positive experience, we’ll solve that with our 100% happiness guarantee !

After your thesis has been edited , you will receive an email with a link to download the edited document.

The editor has made changes to your document using ‘ Track Changes ’ in Word.  This means that you only have to accept or ignore the changes that are made in the text one by one.

It is also possible to accept all changes at once. However, we strongly advise you not to do so for the following reasons:

• You can learn much by looking at what mistakes you have made.
• The editors do not only change the text, they also place comments when sentences or sometimes even entire paragraphs are unclear. We therefore advise you to read through these comments and take into account your editor’s tips and suggestions.
• Because of the many changes, sometimes there may be double spaces, double periods, or other minor mistakes in a sentence. Checking the changes one by one, you can easily detect these minor errors.

We have written a manual in which we explain step by step how ‘Track Changes’ works.

Check out an example

Our editors are very experienced and will do their utmost to correct all errors in your thesis .

However, with our current rates, an editor can only check your thesis once. This may cause an editor to overlook an error. We can therefore not guarantee that your thesis is 100% error free after you have had your thesis edited.

The editor uses ‘Track Changes’ in Word when editing your thesis.

Don’t know how this works? Then read the following guide  in which we explain step by step how ‘Track Changes’ works.

No, we do not provide you with a clean copy. You will always receive a file edited with tracked changes .

We do this for two main reasons:

• In most papers, there are sentences that the editor cannot edit without additional information from the author. In these cases, your editor will provide guidance but leave you to implement the feedback. If we were to simply accept the changes for you, then these issues would be left unaddressed.
• We believe students should be accountable for their work. Our editors can correct language errors and coach you to be a better writer. However, the end product belongs to you and should reflect your ideas and decisions.

All Scribbr editors are language experts with interests in different subject areas.

You can indicate your field of study when you upload your document . We’ll make sure that the editor who proofreads your work is familiar with your discipline and its specialist vocabulary.

These are the fields of study you can choose from, and examples of the main subjects in each field:

• Business and Management: Business Administration, Hotel Management, Accountancy, Marketing
• Economics: Business Economics, Econometrics, Finance
• IT and Engineering: ICT, Computer Science, Artificial Intelligence, Applied Mathematics, Civil Engineering, Industrial Design, Electrical Engineering
• Natural and Life Sciences: Biomedical Sciences, Biology, Chemistry
• Geography, Agriculture and Environment: Ecology, Earth Sciences, Environmental Studies, Urban Planning
• Health and Medical Sciences: Medicine, Obstetrics, Pharmacy, Nutrition, Dentistry
• Arts and Humanities: Philosophy, History, Literature, Cultural Studies, Theology
• Law and Policy: Law, Political Science, Public Policy, Human Rights
• Social and Behavioral Sciences: Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, Communication Sciences

Editors don’t have to be experts in the content of your paper, but they do know how to present it in the best way possible! Our goal is to improve your writing and give you feedback on the readability, structure, logic, and clarity of your text. We know from experience that the most effective editors are specialists in language and academic writing.

We’ve carefully selected and trained all of our editors to proofread theses and other academic documents. Once they’re qualified, we continue to carefully monitor their work to make sure we always deliver the highest quality .

Margurite J. Perez

Allene W. Leflore

Customer Reviews

Finished Papers

Best Essay Writing Service Reddit

24 April, 2020

19 minutes read

Author:  Josh Carlyle

There’s a very active movement revolving around essay writing help requests these days. With so many students begging for assistance with their homework, coursework and whatnot, we decided to conduct our own research on this theme and find the best essay writing service. We’ve browsed and analyzed countless subreddits on the Reddit platform and came to the conclusion that not all providers want to give a helping hand at times of need. But still we managed to find some with good reputation and high level of trust from clients. Wonder which one it is? Keep reading our overview to know the truth.

r/handmadewriting

HandMadeWriting is the best paper writing service on Reddit that operates on professional essay writing assistance. Their writers are educated specialists who craft high-quality and original papers of any complexity, on any subject. What’s exceptional about HandMadeWriting is that this provider doesn’t tolerate violations of academic integrity, and writers always deliver papers on time. More importantly, they are a  full-sized company , not a typical dubious subreddit. These factors are definitely a great sign of a legit essay writing service reddit.  

r/PaperMarket/

When I Googled “write my essay reddit”, the first result I got was PaperMarket. It’s one of the most recognised subreddits that offers to pay for essay reddit. It doesn’t allow scammers to obtrusively advertise their services. However, the rules also indicate that students’  “unnecessary” comments   will be deleted . This makes me assume that they want to show PaperMarket in the best light, not leaving a chance to tell others about their pitfalls.

r/ThePaperBay/

ThePaperBay is another reddit write my essay option that helps busy students with their academic tasks. Like others, it bans users who actively promote their paper writing service reddit and leave negative feedback. But ThePaperBay also hires  freelance academic service providers  to complete papers. This indicates that their staff might be not as reliable as in-house employees. 

r/OnlineCourseHelp

If you type a “write essays for money reddit” request, you’ll most likely stumble upon OnlineCourseHelp. This subreddit provides students with a wider range of services than a typical provider. Apart from homework help, they hire tutors to complete exams and even finish online courses. Nevertheless, the  scope of disciplines is quite narrow . Their list misses such crucial subjects as literature, politics, nursing, and management. 

r/HomeworkHelp

HomeworkHelp is an essay writing service on reddit, the point of which is to assist students with their homework assignments. This reddit essay writing service does react to regular requests, but for students who need an urgent answer, this one might not be a perfect option. It often   takes  much time for writers to answer messages .

r/Essay_Writing_Service

This subreddit actually belongs to EssayCrate essay writing service reddit. 

It’s a new provider that emerged not long ago and is considered to be one of the best essay writing service reddit. Their official website looks pretty good and seems to offer quality services. Yet, the fact that they strive to  put advertising in every corner  makes me think it’s a scam. 

How to Select Top Essay Writing Services and Analyze Reviews of Writing Services on Reddit

Nowadays, advancing your career might be impossible without a degree. However, studying and working simultaneously might be difficult due to the high academic load. If you struggle to submit your assignments in time, you can entrust the task of creating them to professional essay writing services.

Selecting the best essay writing services might be challenging unless you know what to look for. There are so many threads describing writing services on Reddit that you might feel at a loss. To help you narrow down the selection, we created this short guide. Follow these tips to select a paper writing service that provides great value for the money. Here are the main things you need to consider when reading the comments about writing services on Reddit.

How to Select Top Essay Writing Services Using Reddit Reviews

A well-established paper writing service should have many glowing reviews on popular platforms. Many users leave detailed reviews of writing services on Reddit to share their positive experiences or warn others if they encounter any issues.

However, some untrustworthy paper writing services started to leverage this trend and buy positive comments posted by bots. You can easily spot such accounts if you use search tools to find other comments posted by them.

Top essay writing services have tons of detailed reviews. Besides reading information about writing services on Reddit, you can check the feedback sections on their official websites. It will let you see which services were ordered and whether clients were satisfied.

When reading posts about writing services on Reddit, pay attention to the following things:

• Check if a review mentions a writer who worked on an order. The best essay writing services hire writers with a high level of expertise.
• Analyze the posts mentioning the academic writing assignments you are interested in. If you need to find a writing service on Reddit that specializes in a specific topic, you can use the advanced search options to filter the results.
• Pay attention to the text quality and check if a review left about the writing service on Reddit mentions editing.

Top essay writing services do everything to ensure client satisfaction. They offer multiple revisions, discounts to loyal clients, and several payment options. Besides, they allow you to select a writer with a specific level of expertise.

What Things to Consider When Choosing the Best Essay Writing Services?

Well-known essay writing services usually have highly-qualified writers on their teams. They can help you with a range of assignments:

• Argumentative essays
• Scholarship applications
• Term papers
• Case studies

Before making your choice, check whether a writing service specializes in several fields. Unfortunately, some companies don’t have enough technical writers among their staff members, which lowers your chances of getting a quality essay.

We have rounded up several things that a good paper writing service should have:

• 24/7 support team that will promptly solve any issue you might face. You should be able to contact it via live chat or phone.
• Flexible pricing policy. The most popular companies keep their prices affordable, which allows you to save a lot of money.
• Well-deserved reputation. If a company has been delivering its services for years and has many positive reviews, it’s a sure sign that it is worthy of your trust.
• Ability to meet tight deadlines. Such services can help you submit your assignments on time. While most charge extra for speedy delivery, it allows you to solve your problem quickly and efficiently.

In addition, a trustworthy company should offer free revisions and work with various formats.

Why Experience-Based Reviews of Reliable Essay Writing Services Are the Best

Most reviews left on writing services on Reddit are based on real-life experiences. It makes them invaluable for those who are looking for a reliable piece of advice. Unlike paid ads that promote the best essay writing services, these reviews were created by those who placed an order and received a well-written text back. It makes them more trustworthy.

If you see that many users criticize a writing service on Reddit, it might indicate that this company doesn’t cater to the needs of its clients. Services with a low ranking deliver subpar results. By contacting them, you risk wasting your money.

Detailed reviews should mention both advantages and disadvantages of essay writing services. It helps users understand that they are reading the feedback left by real users. For example, if a user is satisfied with paper writing services provided by a company, they might mention that they will work with it in the future.

Experience-based feedback will help you make the right choice and find a service trusted by many users. Even if you see that some users encountered some issues, check if the company managed to solve them.

Many essay writing services are ready to accommodate the wishes of their clients. However, you need to describe your problem to the support team and wait until it gets solved.

Remember to leave your review after ordering such services. It will help other users to make the right choice.

Things to Consider When Choosing Writing Services:

If you want to find a decent company but countless subreddits only confuse you more, here’s what you need to figure out to spot a writing service that’ll fit you best. 

Know If the Company is Fraudulent

Unfortunately, there are lots of scammers that are only interested in getting more money from customers. They invest huge sums in exaggerated advertising or post false information about their values and mission just to make profit. Of course, it’s fairly difficult to detect fraud from the first sight, but there are simple rules every student can follow to filter unreliable services and address only the most trustworthy ones. Here are the signs you need to look for to detect faulty essay writing providers:  

• Privacy protection .  Look for essay writing services that have a website which starts with https web communication protocol. This protocol plays a pivotal role when it comes to integrity, security level and protection of communication between a server and a client. Https is also an indicator of the fact that the site you’re trying to access is authorised and trustworthy. 
• Website content.  Best essay writing service won’t gauge time to elaborate their writing. The main website is a business card of any agency, so the quality of content should correspond to its status. If you notice poor grammar, spelling errors or other irrelevant mistakes, go look for another service. 
• “About us” page.  If you read essay writing service reviews, you probably noticed that many services include the “about us” page on their websites. There, you can find important information about their activities, services, etc. But if there’s no registration number and billing address included, avoid such companies at all cost. 
• Prices.  Always omit companies with suspiciously low costs for essays. If they hire professional essay writers with great experience, they should be paid accordingly. Therefore, legit companies set a fair price net that’s neither unreasonably exaggerated nor too low. 
• Online Reviews.  Track social media responses that have to do with essay writing companies. The majority of users appreciate the freedom of expression, and they won’t miss an opportunity to write an honest feedback about any service. Also, take into account reviews on TrustPilot. This is the most trustful consumer review website where thousands of people share their impressions about this or that service. There, you can find information which the company itself would never reveal. 

Examine Writers’ Abilities

The writers’ staff of an honest essay writing company must consist of accredited and highly qualified experts who have  experience and competence to write essays for you. Ideally, all of them should have Master and PhD degrees on any concrete subject to craft excellent papers of any complexity. 

Reliable writers also need to be flexible and attentive – they have to double check all orders and make sure they’re deprived of any grammatical, stylistic, and punctuation mistakes. At last, they should be fast enough to respond to your messages, confirm order requests promptly, and write papers strictly according to set deadlines. 

Test Support Department

Any essay writing service which is consistently good in quality and performance ascribes most of its success to client support. It’s a special department responsible for effective communication with customers, as well as for providing help and answering urgent clients’ questions. The support team should be reached easily any time of the day. That’s why support representatives take turns so that the whole team could function  24/7 . 

The availability of support in the company you want to cooperate with is a foremost point you need to take into account. If they don’t have a round-the-clock support, such a service won’t be able to respond quickly in case you’ll have concerns about the essay. Therefore, you must make sure that you can order an essay  in the middle of the night  and get it in several hours before defense.

Inquire of Free Revisions

When it comes to revisions, each company has their own rules and regulations. The most promising ones will make adjustments entirely for free in the period of  10 days  or more after the paper is delivered and after it is accepted by the client. In cases when major revisions are required, the customer will then need to proceed with additional payment – the sum is defined individually by the company. In cases small fixes are necessary, writers are obliged to do them  for free . 

Find Out If Plagiarism is Their Friend

Plagiarism is a taboo which time-tested services are allergic to. In relation to essay writing, it is equal to an academic crime which is punished severely. Remember: if you use a service of the company for the first time and they deliver you a copy pasted article from the internet, there are two things you need to do. First, ask for a full refund immediately. Second, run away from this company as soon as possible and never use their services again. The likelihood of them spoiling your next order is almost  100  percent. 

What reliable providers should do instead is provide you with  best custom writing  and unique, original, and accurate assignments, no matter the complexity of the task. The originality of orders is a guarantee that writers do their work honestly, not trying to save their time and effort by tricking you on quality. 

Know Your Rights

Another important parameter that defines the reliability level of essay companies has to do with  moneyback warranties . Given that academic assistance is a rather slippery market in which scams can be found everywhere, it’s critical not to deal with unpleasant surprises connected to money. Your investments in essays have to be justified and fairly given back in several cases. 

The first situation is when the essay writer had initially misunderstood your assignment details and provided you with a wrong paper, wrong theme, and wrong formatting. The second circumstance is when you get a plagiarized paper with the level of originality much lower than expected. The third case is when the order ends up in the “dispute” status. When such a situation occurs, the dispute department will decide if the fault you issue is writer’s or yours. In case none of these rules are indicated in the terms of use or if the company refuses to give a refund, it’s a serious fraud.  

As for  quality protection , the company you’ll potentially use ought to guarantee supreme quality of content and satisfy your demands anytime, always. If you don’t see any of this information disclosed on the company’s website, avoid it and look for another service.

Ensure Financial Security 

Keep in mind that whatever company you choose ought to have safe payment options. Otherwise, it’ll be hard to take money back in case you’ll ask for a refund, especially if the service provides only credit card payments. Make sure the company works with  PayPal . This way, your transactions’ information and online purchases will be well secured.

Withhold Personal Information

Make sure that the terms of use of any company match your expectations with regard to  data protection . If the company you want to address doesn’t guarantee the protection of personal data, such an agency is considered a scam on default. Credible services always put special emphasis on this factor, and so should you. 

Find Out More About Geographical Position

If you’re looking for an adequate essay writing company with reliable customer base and decent reputation on the market, pay attention to the  spot where the company is based . Its legal address should always align with physical address. If it doesn’t, that’s a red flag which means only one thing: this provider is  100% fraud .  

Ultimately our search for the best essay writing service has come to an end. And from what we saw, reviewed, studied, and examined, we can claim for sure that there are only a few companies ready to have your back. By mentioning companies, we mean physical ones that have real offices with real full-time employees. One of them is  HandMadeWriting  – a company with quality essay writing services that won’t let you down.

Using the tips mentioned above, you can easily find a good essay writing service that meets your needs and requirements. You can read many comprehensive reviews of writing services on Reddit that will help you make up your mind. Please pay attention to the testimonials left by users who have tested many other essay writing services besides the ones they decided to review. It will allow you to see whether they are impartial.

Great essay writing services should have a team of talented writers who can create a text in your style. Top essay writing services don’t have any issues with deadlines and project completion. Detailed essay writing service reviews should mention whether a company provides free revisions.

Besides, it’s crucial to select a reliable essay writing service that will allow you to stay within your budget. Such companies guarantee that their clients will get top-quality texts that meet all their requirements.

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The Spinoff

The Sunday Essay Yesterday at 5.00am

The sunday essay: queer sikhs on the cusp of tomorrow.

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Some thoughts on my queer and Sikh identities, and how they mesh and collide.

The Sunday Essay  is made possible thanks to the support of Creative New Zealand.

S undays were exciting, as they promised crispy bread pakora and chai over Punjabi chatter. If I was lucky, there would be jelabi, an orange spiral of sweet goodness prepped in the hot, crowded kitchen. I’d gulp it down in a single bite, sitting under the paintings of martyrs being scalped and buried alive. 

Afterwards, I’d run into the kitchen with sticky hands and an empty plate. I could feel the heat on the hairs of my arms from the giant puddle of oil in the wok; hear the sound of metal clanging against heads of garlic; see the kind face of a man pouring more water into the refill zone and turbans shining under the fluorescent lighting. The langar hall promised a warm meal for all. 

My nani (maternal grandmother in Punjabi), with her round sunglasses and white shawls, hoisted me onto her knees to tell me stories of Sikhi and the origins of langar. Guru Nanak Dev Ji, the first Sikh guru of ten, was given 21 rupees to start a business. He met weary and tired religious travellers on his way to the city. He offered to give them money, but they said receiving money from a well-off man felt degrading. So Guru Nanak brought food and cooked it, sitting on the floor with the religious folks and exchanging stories. This created the tradition of langar, where we all sit together on the floor to symbolise our equality in God’s eyes. 

So we sit on blue mats, our feet equally cold in the heatless room. My father spends more time in the langar hall than in the prayer room. This is where he chats with the men he met in small Onehunga flats when they were starving migrants. Everyone is welcome to langar; for this purpose, the langar hall and kitchen are always separate from the worship room. There is no need to thank a God you do not believe in to accept our kindness. 

T he most significant act of devotion as a Sikh is to take care of the world around us, because we believe we are simultaneously part of God as well as God’s creation. Through cooking meals, donating money, volunteering and teaching children or elderly people, Sikhs are worshipping God. This act is called seva. 

At age 12, I followed my nani’s loose pastel scarf into the gurdwara (Sikh temple) when I noticed a group of elderly women, heads covered in devotion with bright scarves, reciting the Punjabi alphabet. Their voices sounded tender yet powerful, an elder again becoming a child. Nani explained that she was the only educated girl out of her six sisters. Despite nani’s desire to attend university, she felt unsafe being the only woman to attend the local campus. 

At home, I would ask my father how my dadi (paternal grandmother) would reply to his letters, back when it was a dollar for every minute he called home. She would ask a village girl to read it out loud to her, sipping chai in her pale and sunny home, the words a blur of jumbled letters. How strange for my religion to create a new text for lower caste people and women, only to leave generations of women uneducated in the name of culture. I imagined my nani as a girl, curled up in her grandmother’s bed with a stomach full of fresh milk, bedtime stories of Sikh liberation and a light turned off to promise a better world tomorrow.

Our eternal Guru is Guru Granth Sahib, the central holy scripture written in Gurmukhi. The room where I visit the Guru has white fabric drawn across the floor. At the back of the room, I watched people bow down to the Guru one by one, their heads covered in turbans or scarves an act of worship. The Guru sees them as equal, but my local Sikh temple committee has decided it is crucial to segregate which floor men and women sit on. Often the faces of the committees are men, while women are silently ushered towards the kitchen.

An elder’s hand is often coarse and heavy from the weight of their familial pressure to reject schooling in exchange for cooking. All their bright scarves are devoted to a Guru they could not see. I pray for them, as they are a part of me; their joy at reading is mine. Often middle-aged mothers born from a lineage of illiterate women operate the classrooms that teach literacy within the temple.

Through people’s acts of seva, I learnt how to read Gurmukhi. We often discussed religious stories, and I became fascinated with the concept of gender in Sikhi. God does not have a gender, as they (God) existed before the manmade idea of gender. God is formless, transcendent. We dance with them, we are them, we are a part of their creation, and if we align ourselves right with the prayers and avoidance of maya (illusions of the world like drugs, beauty standards, wealth and competition with one another) we could join them in the centre of the universe. 

In Sikhi, the word for God is ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ ( pronounced wa-he-gu-roo) , translating to “ teacher of the air”. As we speak, we transmit knowledge; within this knowledge, God is present, guiding our hands gently. What is more genderfluid than the air itself? 

O n the other hand, my Sikh identity is at odds with my queerness. Sometimes, at parties, my shoe kicking into the dirt of West Auckland backyards, I’d make comments about God, and they would be met with dismissive laughter. Religion is a bit of a joke in queer communities, and after centuries of being at odds with one another, who can blame them? Religion and queerness mimic the patterns of an overdomineering mother, wishing to craft her child out of the clay from the lakeside, and a child with fast feet. Neither realise that they cannot exist without each other; in their moulding and destruction of one another, they create one another. 

Over the coffee table covered with Punjabi newsletters and biscuits, my nani laughed about a story of two women marrying. I often think of being a child, listening to my nana’s (maternal grandfather in Punjabi) prayer as the sun dips away. The gentle pull of his hands as he moves over the prayer book. The birds easing to sleep; the sweet scent of mothballs from my grandmother’s shawl. Queerness is a religion: a devotion to discovering oneself. Maybe it’s selfish to want more than one religion, to want a God and a girl to understand it too.

Since I was a child, sprinting through the hallways wearing a bandana and jeans instead of a salwar kameez with a dupatta, I knew I was different. My bisexuality often manifests as isolation from the right way of performing femininity. Men and women occupy different spaces in the temple, sitting opposite one another for cultural rather than religious reasons. In protest, I often followed my nana  to the men’s section; a long-haired girl wearing a loosely wrapped scarf with her boyish jumpers. 

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When I am in front of the guru, I remind myself that he knows who I am, as he has created me as much as I have created him. Gurnanak ( another way of saying Guru Nanak Dev Ji) often becomes an imaginary friend whenever I hear homophobic remarks in the gurdwara. I imagine his disbelief that we are still thinking about gender as a set of rules to follow – doesn’t this count as an illusion of the world? 

I often think of the twelve-year-old version of Gurnanak who refused to wear a religious string that only upper-caste boys were permitted to wear, his steely calmness when he explained, as a child, that he is not brought closer to God by pretending he is better than God’s other creations. 

While the challenges of Punjabi homophobia and transphobia exist, I have to remember that Sikhi is a religion created out of a warzone. I am resilient, both as a queer individual and as a Sikh. We transform the world, carving spaces of equality. In my home, there is always food for all, and gender is just an illusion we mess around with.

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Watch CBS News

What's open and closed for Easter? See which stores and restaurants are operating today.

By Khristopher J. Brooks

Edited By Anne Marie Lee

Updated on: March 31, 2024 / 12:49 PM EDT / CBS News

Millions of Americans celebrate Easter with family and friends this Sunday, which could require a last-minute run for treats before the egg hunt begins. Luckily, many retailers and restaurants will be open on March 31.

Here's a list of what is and isn't open on Easter . 

What places are open on Easter Sunday 2024?

• Barnes & Noble
• Bass Pro Shops
• Bath & Body Works
• Capital Grille
• Dollar General
• Dollar Tree
• Family Dollar
• Half Price Books
• Kirkland's Home
• Marshall Grain
• Rally House
• Tractor Supply Company
• Trader Joe's
• Whole Foods

Restaurants and fast-food chains open on Easter

• Boston Market
• Buffalo Wild Wings
• Cheesecake Factory
• Cracker Barrel
• Golden Corral
• Longhorn Steakhouse
• McDonald's 
• Olive Garden
• Outback Steakhouse
• Red Lobster
• Ruth's Chris
• Texas Roadhouse
• Waffle House
• Whataburger
• White Castle

Places with special hours of operation on Easter Sunday 2024

Some stores or restaurants may special hours of operation, depending on their location — including Burger King, Domino's, Firehouse Subs, Jersey Mike's, Jack in the Box, Panda Express, Panera, Popeyes, Shake Shack and Subway. 

• Stop & Shop's grocery section will be open but the pharmacy will be closed.
• Staples will be open from noon to 5 p.m., local time.

What places are closed on Easter Sunday 2024?

• Bloomingdale's
• Brookshires
• Calloway's Nursery
• Container Store
• Dick's Sporting Goods
• H-E-B Grocery
• Hobby Lobby
• Hollywood Feed
• Honey Baked Ham Company
•  Macy's
• Market Basket
• Nordstrom & Nordstrom Rack
• Office Depot

Restaurants and fast-food chains closed on Easter

• Raising Cane's

Correction: This story has been updated to note that Chik-fil-A is closed on Easter.

Khristopher J. Brooks is a reporter for CBS MoneyWatch. He previously worked as a reporter for the Omaha World-Herald, Newsday and the Florida Times-Union. His reporting primarily focuses on the U.S. housing market, the business of sports and bankruptcy.

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A Proclamation on Transgender Day of Visibility,   2024

On Transgender Day of Visibility, we honor the extraordinary courage and contributions of transgender Americans and reaffirm our Nation’s commitment to forming a more perfect Union — where all people are created equal and treated equally throughout their lives.  

I am proud that my Administration has stood for justice from the start, working to ensure that the LGBTQI+ community can live openly, in safety, with dignity and respect.  I am proud to have appointed transgender leaders to my Administration and to have ended the ban on transgender Americans serving openly in our military.  I am proud to have signed historic Executive Orders that strengthen civil rights protections in housing, employment, health care, education, the justice system, and more.  I am proud to have signed the Respect for Marriage Act into law, ensuring that every American can marry the person they love. 

Transgender Americans are part of the fabric of our Nation.  Whether serving their communities or in the military, raising families or running businesses, they help America thrive.  They deserve, and are entitled to, the same rights and freedoms as every other American, including the most fundamental freedom to be their true selves.  But extremists are proposing hundreds of hateful laws that target and terrify transgender kids and their families — silencing teachers; banning books; and even threatening parents, doctors, and nurses with prison for helping parents get care for their children.  These bills attack our most basic American values:  the freedom to be yourself, the freedom to make your own health care decisions, and even the right to raise your own child.  It is no surprise that the bullying and discrimination that transgender Americans face is worsening our Nation’s mental health crisis, leading half of transgender youth to consider suicide in the past year.  At the same time, an epidemic of violence against transgender women and girls, especially women and girls of color, continues to take too many lives.  Let me be clear:  All of these attacks are un-American and must end.  No one should have to be brave just to be themselves.  

At the same time, my Administration is working to stop the bullying and harassment of transgender children and their families.  The Department of Justice has taken action to push back against extreme and un-American State laws targeting transgender youth and their families and the Department of Justice is partnering with law enforcement and community groups to combat hate and violence.  My Administration is also providing dedicated emergency mental health support through our nationwide suicide and crisis lifeline — any LGBTQI+ young person in need can call “988” and press “3” to speak with a counselor trained to support them.  We are making public services more accessible for transgender Americans, including with more inclusive passports and easier access to Social Security benefits.  There is much more to do.  I continue to call on the Congress to pass the Equality Act, to codify civil rights protections for all LGBTQI+ Americans.

Today, we send a message to all transgender Americans:  You are loved.  You are heard.  You are understood.  You belong.  You are America, and my entire Administration and I have your back.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR., President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim March 31, 2024, as Transgender Day of Visibility.  I call upon all Americans to join us in lifting up the lives and voices of transgender people throughout our Nation and to work toward eliminating violence and discrimination based on gender identity.

     IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-ninth day of March, in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty-four, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and forty-eighth.

                             JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR.

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Guest Essay

How the SAT Changed My Life

By Emi Nietfeld

Ms. Nietfeld is the author of the memoir “Acceptance.”

This month, the University of Texas, Austin, joined the wave of selective schools reversing Covid-era test-optional admissions policies, once again requiring applicants to submit ACT or SAT scores.

Many colleges have embraced the test-optional rule under the assumption that it bolsters equity and diversity, since higher scores are correlated with privilege. But it turns out that these policies harmed the teenagers they were supposed to help. Many low-income and minority applicants withheld scores that could have gotten them in, wrongly assuming that their scores were too low, according to an analysis by Dartmouth. More top universities are sure to join the reversal. This is a good thing.

I was one of the disadvantaged youths who are often failed by test-optional policies, striving to get into college while in foster care and homeless. We hear a lot about the efforts of these elite schools to attract diverse student bodies and about debates around the best way to assemble a class. What these conversations overlook is the hope these tests offer students who are in difficult situations.

For many of us, standardized tests provided our one shot to prove our potential, despite the obstacles in our lives or the untidy pasts we had. We found solace in the objectivity of a hard number and a process that — unlike many things in our lives — we could control. I will always feel tenderness toward the Scantron sheets that unlocked higher education and a better life.

Growing up, I fantasized about escaping the chaos of my family for the peace of a grassy quad. Both my parents had mental health issues. My adolescence was its own mess. Over two years I took a dozen psychiatric drugs while attending four different high school programs. At 14, I was sent to a locked facility where my education consisted of work sheets and reading aloud in an on-site classroom. In a life skills class, we learned how to get our G.E.D.s. My college dreams began to seem like delusions.

Then one afternoon a staff member handed me a library copy of “Barron’s Guide to the ACT .” I leafed through the onionskin pages and felt a thunderclap of possibility. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without permission, let alone take Advanced Placement Latin or play water polo or do something else that would impress elite colleges. But I could teach myself the years of math I’d missed while switching schools and improve my life in this one specific way.

After nine months in the institution, I entered foster care. I started my sophomore year at yet another high school, only to have my foster parents shuffle my course load at midyear, when they decided Advanced Placement classes were bad for me. In part because of academic instability like this, only 3 percent to 4 percent of former foster youth get a four-year college degree.

Later I bounced between friends’ sofas and the back seat of my rusty Corolla, using my new-to-me SAT prep book as a pillow. I had no idea when I’d next shower, but I could crack open practice problems and dip into a meditative trance. For those moments, everything was still, the terror of my daily life softened by the fantasy that my efforts might land me in a dorm room of my own, with endless hot water and an extra-long twin bed.

Standardized tests allowed me to look forward, even as every other part of college applications focused on the past. The song and dance of personal statements required me to demonstrate all the obstacles I’d overcome while I was still in the middle of them. When shilling my trauma left me gutted and raw, researching answer elimination strategies was a balm. I could focus on equations and readings, like the scholar I wanted to be, rather than the desperate teenager that I was.

Test-optional policies would have confounded me, but in the 2009-10 admissions cycle, I had to submit my scores; my fellow hopefuls and I were all in this together, slogging through multiple-choice questions until our backs ached and our eyes crossed.

The hope these exams instilled in me wasn’t abstract: It manifested in hundreds of glossy brochures. After I took the PSAT in my junior year, universities that had received my score flooded me with letters urging me to apply. For once, I felt wanted. These marketing materials informed me that the top universities offered generous financial aid that would allow me to attend free. I set my sights higher, despite my guidance counselor’s lack of faith.

When I took the actual SAT, I was ashamed of my score. Had submitting it been optional, I most likely wouldn’t have done it, because I suspected my score was lower than the prep-school applicants I was up against (exactly what Dartmouth found in the analysis that led it to reinstate testing requirements). When you grow up the way I did, it’s difficult to believe that you are ever good enough.

When I got into Harvard, it felt like a miracle splitting my life into a before and after. My exam preparation paid off on campus — it was the only reason I knew geometry or grammar — and it motivated me to tackle new, difficult topics. I majored in computer science, having never written a line of code. Though a career as a software engineer seemed far-fetched, I used my SAT study strategies to prepare for technical interviews (in which you’re given one or more problems to solve) that landed me the stable, lucrative Google job that catapulted me out of financial insecurity.

I’m not the only one who feels affection for these tests. At Harvard, I met other students who saw these exams as the one door they could unlock that opened into a new future. I was lucky that the tests offered me hope all along, that I could cling to the promise that one day I could bubble in a test form and find myself transported into a better life — the one I lead today.

Emi Nietfeld is the author of the memoir “ Acceptance .” Previously, she was a software engineer at Google and Facebook.

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• The Case for Marrying an Older Man

A woman’s life is all work and little rest. An age gap relationship can help.

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. We take long, scorching walks to the village — gratuitous beauty, gratuitous heat — kicking up dust and languid debates over how we’d spend such an influx. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me.

He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.

When I was 20 and a junior at Harvard College, a series of great ironies began to mock me. I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting. I shared it with the average, idle young woman shrugging down the street. The thought, when it descended on me, jolted my perspective, the way a falling leaf can make you look up: I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early.

So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors. I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can. As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books I’d read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. I’d have disliked being called calculating, but I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.

I was competitive by nature, an English-literature student with all the corresponding major ambitions and minor prospects (Great American novel; email job). A little Bovarist , frantic for new places and ideas; to travel here, to travel there, to be in the room where things happened. I resented the callow boys in my class, who lusted after a particular, socially sanctioned type on campus: thin and sexless, emotionally detached and socially connected, the opposite of me. Restless one Saturday night, I slipped on a red dress and snuck into a graduate-school event, coiling an HDMI cord around my wrist as proof of some technical duty. I danced. I drank for free, until one of the organizers asked me to leave. I called and climbed into an Uber. Then I promptly climbed out of it. For there he was, emerging from the revolving doors. Brown eyes, curved lips, immaculate jacket. I went to him, asked him for a cigarette. A date, days later. A second one, where I discovered he was a person, potentially my favorite kind: funny, clear-eyed, brilliant, on intimate terms with the universe.

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well, and with a hunger driven only by my own inadequacies. Not him. In those early days, I spoke fondly of my family, stocked the fridge with his favorite pasta, folded his clothes more neatly than I ever have since. I wrote his mother a thank-you note for hosting me in his native France, something befitting a daughter-in-law. It worked; I meant it. After graduation and my fellowship at Oxford, I stayed in Europe for his career and married him at 23.

Of course I just fell in love. Romances have a setting; I had only intervened to place myself well. Mainly, I spotted the precise trouble of being a woman ahead of time, tried to surf it instead of letting it drown me on principle. I had grown bored of discussions of fair and unfair, equal or unequal , and preferred instead to consider a thing called ease.

The reception of a particular age-gap relationship depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.

Twenty and 30 is not like 30 and 40; some freshness to my features back then, some clumsiness in my bearing, warped our decade, in the eyes of others, to an uncrossable gulf. Perhaps this explains the anger we felt directed at us at the start of our relationship. People seemed to take us very, very personally. I recall a hellish car ride with a friend of his who began to castigate me in the backseat, in tones so low that only I could hear him. He told me, You wanted a rich boyfriend. You chased and snuck into parties . He spared me the insult of gold digger, but he drew, with other words, the outline for it. Most offended were the single older women, my husband’s classmates. They discussed me in the bathroom at parties when I was in the stall. What does he see in her? What do they talk about? They were concerned about me. They wielded their concern like a bludgeon. They paraphrased without meaning to my favorite line from Nabokov’s Lolita : “You took advantage of my disadvantage,” suspecting me of some weakness he in turn mined. It did not disturb them, so much, to consider that all relationships were trades. The trouble was the trade I’d made struck them as a bad one.

The truth is you can fall in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, tiny transactions, pluses and minuses, whose sum is your affection for each other, your loyalty, your commitment. The way someone picks up your favorite croissant. Their habit of listening hard. What they do for you on your anniversary and your reciprocal gesture, wrapped thoughtfully. The serenity they inspire; your happiness, enlivening it. When someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them.

When I think of same-age, same-stage relationships, what I tend to picture is a woman who is doing too much for too little.

I’m 27 now, and most women my age have “partners.” These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if you’re equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking .

There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.

I find a post on Reddit where five thousand men try to define “ a woman’s touch .” They describe raised flower beds, blankets, photographs of their loved ones, not hers, sprouting on the mantel overnight. Candles, coasters, side tables. Someone remembering to take lint out of the dryer. To give compliments. I wonder what these women are getting back. I imagine them like Cinderella’s mice, scurrying around, their sole proof of life their contributions to a more central character. On occasion I meet a nice couple, who grew up together. They know each other with a fraternalism tender and alien to me.  But I think of all my friends who failed at this, were failed at this, and I think, No, absolutely not, too risky . Riskier, sometimes, than an age gap.

My younger brother is in his early 20s, handsome, successful, but in many ways: an endearing disaster. By his age, I had long since wisened up. He leaves his clothes in the dryer, takes out a single shirt, steams it for three minutes. His towel on the floor, for someone else to retrieve. His lovely, same-age girlfriend is aching to fix these tendencies, among others. She is capable beyond words. Statistically, they will not end up together. He moved into his first place recently, and she, the girlfriend, supplied him with a long, detailed list of things he needed for his apartment: sheets, towels, hangers, a colander, which made me laugh. She picked out his couch. I will bet you anything she will fix his laundry habits, and if so, they will impress the next girl. If they break up, she will never see that couch again, and he will forget its story. I tell her when I visit because I like her, though I get in trouble for it: You shouldn’t do so much for him, not for someone who is not stuck with you, not for any boy, not even for my wonderful brother.

Too much work had left my husband, by 30, jaded and uninspired. He’d burned out — but I could reenchant things. I danced at restaurants when they played a song I liked. I turned grocery shopping into an adventure, pleased by what I provided. Ambitious, hungry, he needed someone smart enough to sustain his interest, but flexible enough in her habits to build them around his hours. I could. I do: read myself occupied, make myself free, materialize beside him when he calls for me. In exchange, I left a lucrative but deadening spreadsheet job to write full-time, without having to live like a writer. I learned to cook, a little, and decorate, somewhat poorly. Mostly I get to read, to walk central London and Miami and think in delicious circles, to work hard, when necessary, for free, and write stories for far less than minimum wage when I tally all the hours I take to write them.

At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self, couldn’t imagine doing it in tandem with someone, two raw lumps of clay trying to mold one another and only sullying things worse. I’d go on dates with boys my age and leave with the impression they were telling me not about themselves but some person who didn’t exist yet and on whom I was meant to bet regardless. My husband struck me instead as so finished, formed. Analyzable for compatibility. He bore the traces of other women who’d improved him, small but crucial basics like use a coaster ; listen, don’t give advice. Young egos mellow into patience and generosity.

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic. By opting out of partnership in my 20s, I granted myself a kind of compartmentalized, liberating selfishness none of my friends have managed. I am the work in progress, the party we worry about, a surprising dominance. When I searched for my first job, at 21, we combined our efforts, for my sake. He had wisdom to impart, contacts with whom he arranged coffees; we spent an afternoon, laughing, drawing up earnest lists of my pros and cons (highly sociable; sloppy math). Meanwhile, I took calls from a dear friend who had a boyfriend her age. Both savagely ambitious, hyperclose and entwined in each other’s projects. If each was a start-up , the other was the first hire, an intense dedication I found riveting. Yet every time she called me, I hung up with the distinct feeling that too much was happening at the same time: both learning to please a boss; to forge more adult relationships with their families; to pay bills and taxes and hang prints on the wall. Neither had any advice to give and certainly no stability. I pictured a three-legged race, two people tied together and hobbling toward every milestone.

I don’t fool myself. My marriage has its cons. There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him. He doesn’t have to hold it over my head. It just floats there, complicating usual shorthands to explain dissatisfaction like, You aren’t being supportive lately . It’s a Frenchism to say, “Take a decision,” and from time to time I joke: from whom? Occasionally I find myself in some fabulous country at some fabulous party and I think what a long way I have traveled, like a lucky cloud, and it is frightening to think of oneself as vapor.

Mostly I worry that if he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive, but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials, the way Renaissance painters hid in their paintings their faces among a crowd. I wonder if when they looked at their paintings, they saw their own faces first. But this is the wrong question, if our aim is happiness. Like the other question on which I’m expected to dwell: Who is in charge, the man who drives or the woman who put him there so she could enjoy herself? I sit in the car, in the painting it would have taken me a corporate job and 20 years to paint alone, and my concern over who has the upper hand becomes as distant as the horizon, the one he and I made so wide for me.

To be a woman is to race against the clock, in several ways, until there is nothing left to be but run ragged.

We try to put it off, but it will hit us at some point: that we live in a world in which our power has a different shape from that of men, a different distribution of advantage, ours a funnel and theirs an expanding cone. A woman at 20 rarely has to earn her welcome; a boy at 20 will be turned away at the door. A woman at 30 may find a younger woman has taken her seat; a man at 30 will have invited her. I think back to the women in the bathroom, my husband’s classmates. What was my relationship if not an inconvertible sign of this unfairness? What was I doing, in marrying older, if not endorsing it? I had taken advantage of their disadvantage. I had preempted my own. After all, principled women are meant to defy unfairness, to show some integrity or denial, not plan around it, like I had. These were driven women, successful, beautiful, capable. I merely possessed the one thing they had already lost. In getting ahead of the problem, had I pushed them down? If I hadn’t, would it really have made any difference?

When we decided we wanted to be equal to men, we got on men’s time. We worked when they worked, retired when they retired, had to squeeze pregnancy, children, menopause somewhere impossibly in the margins. I have a friend, in her late 20s, who wears a mood ring; these days it is often red, flickering in the air like a siren when she explains her predicament to me. She has raised her fair share of same-age boyfriends. She has put her head down, worked laboriously alongside them, too. At last she is beginning to reap the dividends, earning the income to finally enjoy herself. But it is now, exactly at this precipice of freedom and pleasure, that a time problem comes closing in. If she would like to have children before 35, she must begin her next profession, motherhood, rather soon, compromising inevitably her original one. The same-age partner, equally unsettled in his career, will take only the minimum time off, she guesses, or else pay some cost which will come back to bite her. Everything unfailingly does. If she freezes her eggs to buy time, the decision and its logistics will burden her singly — and perhaps it will not work. Overlay the years a woman is supposed to establish herself in her career and her fertility window and it’s a perfect, miserable circle. By midlife women report feeling invisible, undervalued; it is a telling cliché, that after all this, some husbands leave for a younger girl. So when is her time, exactly? For leisure, ease, liberty? There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.

For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush , permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able.

Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility. A chance to live my life before I become responsible for someone else’s — a lover’s, or a child’s. A chance to write. A chance at a destiny that doesn’t adhere rigidly to the routines and timelines of men, but lends itself instead to roomy accommodation, to the very fluidity Betty Friedan dreamed of in 1963 in The Feminine Mystique , but we’ve largely forgotten: some career or style of life that “permits year-to-year variation — a full-time paid job in one community, part-time in another, exercise of the professional skill in serious volunteer work or a period of study during pregnancy or early motherhood when a full-time job is not feasible.” Some things are just not feasible in our current structures. Somewhere along the way we stopped admitting that, and all we did was make women feel like personal failures. I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing. Perhaps men long for this in their own way. Actually I am sure of that.

Once, when we first fell in love, I put my head in his lap on a long car ride; I remember his hands on my face, the sun, the twisting turns of a mountain road, surprising and not surprising us like our romance, and his voice, telling me that it was his biggest regret that I was so young, he feared he would lose me. Last week, we looked back at old photos and agreed we’d given each other our respective best years. Sometimes real equality is not so obvious, sometimes it takes turns, sometimes it takes almost a decade to reveal itself.

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